I saw them for who they are. Actions spoke louder than words. Narcissist will forever be angry at the world even in death. Nothing can satisfy them. No contact
Sometimes the anger is in fact fake. My dad used to display fake outrage in order to start an argument so he could get out of taking us somewhere or doing something. Three year old trapped in a mans body. I still can’t get my head around the fact he was my parent 😂
everything said in this thread is spot on. after learning more about narcs, I too have come to the conclusion that they know EXACTLY!! what they are doing and will even go so far as to plot out their gaslight routine, anger displays, and silent treatments all ahead of time.
@@proanimaluver6487I think so, just because society cannot enable female narcissism enough nor fast enough, in the name of demonstrating Cult false holy righteousness.
The NARC I live with is angry from the minute they get up till they finally go to sleep - it's the only emotion they have, every other one is somehow converted into anger. Fear is ALWAYS converted into anger and lots of it. Anger is their happiness, when you understand that you understand them.
This is exactly what ai experienced with my narc. During 22 years, anger, bitterness and frustration was his daily routine. The last 7 years were the worst and it became unlivable after he started cheating on me. Triangulation, gaslighting, breadcrumb and the list goes on and on. I filed for divorce and things are getting even worst. He hates my indifference and my gray stone attitude. Pray for me and my kids. He is anger and just got a new gun.
Danish, I'm so sorry that you grew up that way.🙁 I felt that in my heart. Now that you are a narcissistic abuse professional and have a nice following here on UA-cam, and I'm sure a successful practice in a "brick & mortar" building elsewhere, you're now confronting that raging bull and taking it by the horns. That takes courage, my friend. You came out of the abuse with flying colors and you continue to help other people. We appreciate you!❤️
when you call out a narcissist, remember that the more angrier they get, the more they know (and that's your cue) that you're right. the narcissist is also telling you that they don’t know how to resolve/manage conflict. cheers from southern ontario, canada 🍁
This explains why my logical and moral outlook kept my mother in an endless spiral of pure rage and constant hypocrisy. Complete with bipolar mania to keep the adrenaline going all day long.
Narc anger and rage is terrifying and goes totally out of control...its a nightmare to be close to. And when its combined with borderline and psychopathy traits its like being with the devil...they can explode faster than the blink of an eye and go crazy if they see and think their partner is blinking the eye in the wrong way..narcs are the most fragile and anger abusing persons in this world even the believe they are strong as steel and are never wrong and hurtful
Their demons 👿 eyes turn black they have no soul....your never safe with them I'm thankful mine went to prison only for 14 months for felony assault but it gave me the ability to leave without a trace
I grew up with someone like this. Aside from my father and my older sister this kind of rage behavior was the norm. My best ex friend from grade school was like this. She was really funny and had a great personality but outside of that she was so mean and cruel, especially to her parents. The way she spoke to them was just so disrespectful. It was just shocking they put up with it. We were in the airport one time and I was ordering food from a vendor and out of the blue she turned around and started screaming at me, accusing me of being disrespectful to the guy that I was ordering my food from. I’m a really nice happy go lucky person and would just never disrespect somebody and he looked at me like he was shocked that she was screaming and I looked at him, the server like what the hell just happened!! We were both just completely shocked by her behavior and then she went storming off and I looked at the server and said was I rude, and he said not at all. It was truly the most bizarre thing I had ever seen from her. It was almost like she had a burst of something that went on inside of her that she needed to release and so she just like pulled this fake scenario out of the air just so she could throw a rage fit and blame me. Her life has gone significantly downhill and she deserves every bit of the karma that she’s reaping.
@@thirstonhowellthebird she isnt really reaping karma as much as she is just sabotaging everything for herself because she cant control her mental problem and would also NEVER believe anyone that told her she had a problem (thats the built-in untreatability of narcissism). What she did there was a typical volcano scene where whatever anxiety, fear, uncertainty, or doubt she had that she couldn't process reached a certain point it then is converted to rage and is then sprayed on you or anyone else within range and then it's over, like ten minutes later she doesn't even want to deal with the mess she created so she would deny it, or blame you, etc. Their inability to "own" anything internal that they cant process and implies they aren't perfect has to be dumped as imperfection on someone else, its mega-projection. They also cant be made to face an outburst like that, they will twist and turn till the end of time to pave over it because they live in a hellish fantasy world were protecting the self-image is priority one way above all else. They cant be fixed but if you CAN get away from them then simply do it. The real misery comes when you are stuck being around one of these people with no way out.
Danish is a Psychologist which means he has a PhD in Psychology for years of study of human behaviors. He truly gets it and most others in counseling profession do not. I’m so thankful Danish has created his courses and seminars to help narc abuse victim become survivors and thrives. And yes, I agree he should get an award for his work and for all the lives he has saved.
Please make a video on how narcissistic parents sabotage their children's development and how we as children of narcissists can recover from the sabotage
How? I will tell you how, I’m not trying to be Danish here, I’m just telling what I have experienced as an adult daughter of a narc mother. If you are lucky and you discover soon that’s good you can dismiss their attitude and focus on yourself but if you discover later on like me after more than decade of constant abuse upon abuse, you loose your sense of self and everything you do in your life whether it be at work with coworkers or with your friends you always feel small and second guess yourself. You loose interest in your hobbies if they ever allow you to even develop to that level. I spent my entire adult life trying to please my mother, just to make her happy and be seen by her. Guess what? That’s right you guessed it. She doesn’t see it, doesn’t care. After lambasting me to her friends and the whole family and turned my elder brother against me and trained my youngest sister to be indifferent to me, I ended up a scapegoat. You think she is done with me, right? No she is not done! After harassing me to marry this man, she then sabotaged my relationship with him, by doing the same things she’s done to me all my life. She didn’t stop there, my husband’s father, mother, aunties, all tasted her medicine and now after going no contact for 2 years now, me and my husband are getting divorce because our problems always brings up “my mother in the picture”. I initiated the divorce by the way. They don’t bring goodness these people.
When they are reminded of their inadequacies, it manifests as anger. They vent it on their most convenient supply, even if that supply is not the source of their shame. It’s their psychotic need to feel powerful again and the only way they know how to reboot and recharge is by making someone else feel powerless, inadequate and insignificant.
I’m so very sorry You had to live with such Trauma and Abuse ! I can relate , Both My Parents were Demon Possessed 👺and one of my brothers! They all hated Me because I’m always happy 😊 They tried always to destroy My Happiness! My Mumster is 86 and still as Evil as ever ! I’ve recently went no contact! At 64 I’m staying Happy 😊 I’m done with My Narcissistic Family 👺
Same ..plus an Aunt and sister and male cousin.....all dead by the hand of God after isolation due to their evil ways...Praise Jesus they can hurt no one else
@@katjay3125 I know that ! These Entities are Demon Possessed! Satan has them now , and He has had them ! I’m so sorry you’ve had to live with them ! I pray God Blesses You with much peace ☮️ and happiness 😊
Noting the narc slaves tries works better to be alone and serving your divine purpose than a slave to the narcs fake heaven and city that’s burning abd only lashing out at their victims lol 😂
Narcissists face karma and their entire life will be failure, poverty driven and failures. Nature and time have their own way of judgements and punishments.
any anger causes me instant PTS . my dad was a very angry man untill he was half drunk . then i marry a gal with extreme anger issues that i thought i could fix by “ turning the other cheek “ it doesn’t work. i tried for 40 years. if your in that spot … Run !!! you can not help them or change them 😞
I believe my father is covert, but he has massive rages. My mother is the more overt, grandiose narc, and she will just get angry and rage and run into her room and slam the door and throw a temper tantrum(but she also will give the silent treatment, not want to talk to you, etc, etc). Dad will explode and get in your face like he wants to fight you. One day I will most likely not be able to hold back and will push him or hit him. One time I got so angry while washing my hands I thew soap at him, and he was saying how "Childish" it was. IT was better than me punching him in the face. I don't even remember what it was, but i was so angry. These people are so rage inducing.
A few years ago I got into crocheting, watched some videos on Granny squares. Told him to leave me alone so I can concentrate. After the 3rd interruption I stood up so quick the chair fell & as I'm screaming at I'm throwing balls of yarn at him. 🤣 Yes the "visual" is funny, the interruptions were him putting his phone right on my face! He just HAD to show me stupid Facebook videos. 🤦♀️
Am certainly not an expert, only a survivor. I hear what you are saying and sense your anger, frustration and pain, but wouldn't unleashing on them physically be kind of like a dose of jet fuel to fill their void instead of oxygen? They get high from other's reactions to their anger and abuse and that is their fuel to ignite victims. Just a thought.
Best option, go no contact mean it, live your own good life even if alone better than badly accompanied. Danish and others here understand, hear you, you are not alone so dont feed the beast
THEY KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING THEY KNOW THE GUILT I SWEAR TO GOD THEY KNOW WHAT THEY DOING . PLEASE DO MORE RESEARCH I HAVE EXPERIENCE WITH THAT ALL YEARS STILL TODAY . THEY KNOW WHAT THEY DOING
Yup, they know ,but don't care. Most of the time they don't even think it's bad. They just live in their own fantasy world. I forgot who said it, but they believe that they are doing good. My mother will rage at me, say the worst sht possible, and dad will stand there like a statue. The second I say leave me alone, or fk off or something, he will FLY INTO A RAGE, GET RED IN THE FACE AND START YELLING AT ME. Or he will say "It does no good to fight back," or "It will only make things worse to fight back," When i ask him why he never stands up for me and why he always says that he says "I'm doing it to "help you." HELP ME? NO IT'S TO HELP YOU SO YOU DON'T GET SHT FROM MOM LATER. IMAGINE TELLING A YOUNG BOY/MAN TO NOT FIGHT BACK WHEN HE'S BEING ATTACKED? How can a father be like that? Worthless.
Thank you so much for being strong enough to share your story and give actual support to people. My parents were both narcs. Finally I feel happy and free after years of their ingrained abuse and neglect. Freedom tastes so good!
I didn't understand why they were angry until this video. I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt...thinking maybe they are having a bad day, personal issues, or there's a misunderstanding. Now I know better...it's one of the many ways they use to control and manipulate you. Thank you Danish for another insightful video.
OMG!!! When you talked about having a fight one night, they have said things that hurt you. It hurts you deeply. Yet, the next morning they act fine and "normal" Wow! I love these videos, because they show me spot on, what I have been dealing with. This is one very painful thing my spouse does to me over and over again. I get up the next morning, there is no apology, not even a single shred of recognition that anything was wrong. And god forbid I bring it up! Then, I am met with more anger and hatred. So, every cruelty he throws at me, I just have to keep stuffing all my hurt, anger and frustration inside myself. He will not allow me to have a voice. I get so sick of it. I'm ready to fly!!! I would not wish a narcissistic partner on anyone!!!
Make plans to leave quietly and fast. This relationship will go downhill. You can only keep stuffing your hurt and anger for so long. He has no accountability and no respect for you. My ex did the same. I'm 14 months no contact. Yay! 🎉
When I mentioned losing our baby partly due the stress he was sending me through (mind you, the baby he initially set out to intentionally get me pregnant with because when we first met I was animated about not having any more kids and when I first found out I was pregnant he was excited immediately called and told some of his family and friends but I guess once his former fiancé/discard, current re-idolization/supply gave in and started entertaining him and eventually started sleeping with him, he no longer wanted my baby and told me to choose between having him or having my baby and when I chose my baby, he still stayed but only up until 2 1/2 weeks after I miscarried my baby.) But the day when I said he was part of the reason why I miscarried my ex covert malignant narc eyes went black and he lashed out with vengeance at me.😕 and I knew it was because it made him feel a smidge of guilt or shame.
I have been battling CPTSD from my mother’s narcissistic rage. She is at her end of life now, and I didn’t realize how her rage had impacted me until she had to go to a care facility and I had to start managing her affairs. Ugh! I tried to power through the freeze response and the shaking episodes, but thinking of who she is behind the rage seems like an insightful solution. Thank you Danish! 🙏🏽
Wow! So true. This is what I experienced many many times with my husband who is now my ex. I was even still kinda friends with him up until about 4-6 months ago when I told him nicely that sometimes we have to make amends to people in our lives and I mostly meant his kids and his one sister who no longer talks to him. His sons rarely talk to him, our oldest because at his wedding his dad got super drunk, though my sons groomsmen all told him not to drink (he’s an alcoholic) and was hitting on a young woman who was working there and the older woman, her boss, cut him off. Anyway he was an embarrassment like he always is when he gets drunk. Our middle son talks to him once in a great while. Our daughter lives her dad, even forgave him for choking her out one night when he was super drunk. Well after I said that he switched in a second, started screaming at me that he didn’t have to answer to anyone except God who loves him unconditionally. He called me a bitch and told me to get the f out. I did and told him before I left “dude, you’re messed up”. That’s when I decided (way past due) that I would not talk to him ever again. All the years I was with him, close to 30 (yeah I can’t believe it either) he would always go into a rage if anyone criticized him or confronted him on his wrong behavior. Never takes responsibility for his actions, always blames others, acts immature and insecure. It was so dysfunctional I can hardly believe I stayed so long. I actually kicked him out so many times I lost count, but kept taking him back even after he cheated on me in our own bed (I found out years later he bragged to my brother and my daughter that he cheated on me many times besides that), hoping he’d grow up, be responsible, quit drinking, quit doing drugs, quit wanting to party and blast music, which he did at times but it never lasted. There were so many problems in our marriage, too much to go into here. And I’m not saying I was not at fault. I never appreciated the good things he did. I always found one thing he didn’t do and complained about that. Maybe I never loved him like I should have, unconditionally like a biblical wife should. He even said he was never good enough for me. He was illiterate as far as he couldn’t spell and always acted childish and goofy which embarrassed me or he’d get jealous for no reason. I never wanted to go out with him in public. He did things to make me happy, built me furniture, made our yard really nice cause I wanted a nice yard, found the house I still live in that we bought though he didn’t ask or tell me about it beforehand, only told me we were buying it. Anyway I could go on and on but I’ll stop now. I just can relate to what you are saying. I pray for him and really do wish him the best. I hope he has an epiphany or that God speaks to his heart and mind and soul and that he’ll realize all the people he’s hurt and ask for forgiveness. I hate to think there is no hope for these people cause that to me is the saddest thing. Need his willingness to admit and wanting to reach out to God and God’s help after that.
Thank You Danish for being a Healer from GOD. Turning your suffering from your tramatic life into global help for educating countless people about the diabolical disorder. I had two narcissist's for parents, & others out of my life now.Double Blessingsto YOU.
I don’t know Dinesh. The “insecure” as I define it, doesn’t jibe with the vicious attack - animalistic (a rabid animal- BC most animals have a reason to attack you!) .
Thank you for sharing what you experienced from your horrific NPD experiences and allowing the rest of us to glean from that knowledge in our own healing journeys.
Thank You Danish, this video hits home just like ALL of your videos do. Thank you for telling us what goes on behind a narcissist's words and actions. For many years, I thought my sibling's arrogance and hostility towards me was because I was the lowest person on earth. She & my mom have such a vicious, vindictive, aggressiveness towards me. They went out of their way to inculcate the false narratives that I believed for decades about myself. They present themselves as superior & all knowing. They are monsters who love inflicting pain. They tried to destroy me, but failed because thanks to your information about narcissism, I am able to know how to deal with these sick people. Your malignant narc dad is a monster who tried, but also failed to take you down. It was /is wrong for them ( your parents) to abuse you like this. Thank you for freeing us from the false narratives the narcissists create out of their envy and insecurities. I am empowered and no contact for almost 2 yrs now. Thank you Danish😁
It’s painful beyond imagination, the whole scenario because other family members co-operate with them and view you as the outcast who doesn’t love your family.
So sorry for your painful experiences. Know that you are not alone, you are a survivor. They are monsters. All of us thank Hod for Danish and his sharing🙏🏻
Your recommended proactive response at the end of this video truly works. I found it by trial and error by myself years ago, but it actually helps tremendously. Thanks for so effectively equipping and validating the rest of us.
Dear God, thank you for Danish’ journey and his testimony to help us. Thank you for keeping him alive, safe and for healing him. May his journey continue to be a blessing for others lives. Amen 🙏
Danish, this one is PERFECT. I listened as I drove to work and it truly was as if you were speaking to me. SO accurate. I love knowing that I am not going crazy. My EXISTENCE is not the problem. This is just such freeing truth. Still so unpleasant dealing with the seethingly angry narcissist in my life, but it's HER problem, not mine. Thank you for all you do!!
It’s like you’ve been in my house. Especially the all you do is blame me, stonewalling for weeks, just fucking sucked being punished for caring about our relationship. It broke my heart. I finally gaining the courage not to go back after being discarded and stonewalled for confronting him for cheating and living a double life. It’s been very helpful finding these channels to help me see the abuse that I have been enduring and I didn’t know it. We have been going to separation counseling now and he’s been saying that I’ve been terrible to him, I wasn’t safe and all kinds of things, I was starting to think I was a crazy narcissist myself but my own therapist said there is no fucking way., my friends and family also said I am not the kind of person he’s been saying I am. But wow, literally questioning my own character is insane.
this is spot on, my mum is also the queen of silent treatment, its been almost six months now since she spoke to me and she's just in the room next 2mine...
I recently had a confrontation my neighbor due to his passive aggressive conduct to annoy me. He frequently waits until after my gardener has just finished cleaning everything up, then gets out his leaf blower to blow the leaves from the front of his house into my yard and driveway. I asked him to stop doing this previously about a year ago and he stopped but started again recently so I waited until I caught him in the act. He initially backed down but a few hours later sent a misleading text to all the neighbors that mischaracterized the situation in order to triangulate them against me. I responded by diplomatically putting the situation into its true context which exposed his hidden agenda to our he neighbors. That triggered him to respond with narcissistic rage and exposed his malign intent for everyone to see.
Your parents are lucky. Despite of the abuse you that you went through, you still became a good son. So sorry Danish, I could relate to your problems. Thank God I made it through as well. God bless us.
Your description of the parental silent treatment is chilling. This was used against me specifically when I called out the parent’s behaviour - the ensuing ice forcing me to capitulate and apologise.
so much informative.. thank u brother Danish . U r being blessed everyday coz u r helping others to find a way out.. n u urself was a victim . Feel sad wen hearing ur story. . but the most important part is that only good endings count ... U r loved by many . Stay honored n blessed
Sounds like my life i have been stripped of everything controls everything wanting peace again. Wish i had the income to do your workshop thats controlled to. Thank you for your videos helping me understand
You never fail to amaze me, Danish! Such stamina u have! Could u talk about the anger expressed by the narcissist versus the reactive anger of the victim that is inappropriately imposed on innocent others in relationships. This out-of- proportion reactive anger leads to deep shame felt by the victim all due to the abuse he or she suffered at the hands of their narc parents. Hope that's clear. Thanks for all! 😊
My father was the same as yours Danish with the bulging eyes, clenching teeth and fists while beating my mother, brother or myself. I thought that his deep rooted anger derived from being drafted into the Vietnam war. I am sorry for what you have endured Danish😢 I have seen that intense level of abuse with my own eyes and the frightening shouting with my ears. Especially toward my brother who was a well behaved intelligent kid that never did anything that bad at all. He was projected onto so badly. Over what? I could never understand. My brother has fallen off the deep end long ago as he could no longer remain strong and became a very broken person😢 I am saddened by the tragedy over my family over narcissistic abuse. Now I have to deal with the narcissistic cult with my in-laws. The three oldest women in my husband's family. My husband was/is the scapegoat child. It pains me to watch him be their doormat. The narc cult has tried to groom me into being their doormat too. During the pandemic, I realized I was playing along due to my lifelong people pleasing tendencies. I was so much happier with my life social distancing because I was not around the in-laws. I have distanced myself as much as possible from them since and that loss of control over me drives them crazy.
Dear Danish, I'm sorry about your parents. They sound like my parents. I'm very sorry. My father was physically abusive (I don't know, if he was a narcissist. He was a mean alcoholic.) I believe my mother was a covert narcissist, but I didn't understand for yrs and yrs. My mother lied about most everything. I didn't realize how much she lied until I was 28 and married. My husband helped me understand, plus he supported me and was honest with me like no one in my family ever was. I'm currently 65 and live alone. I moved (10 mos ago) next to a violent, controlling, narcissistic woman. I'm barely acquainted with her. For 6 mos she's been vandalizing my property and harassing me. I've ignored her so far. I thinking about security cameras although i have a feeling that will insight her. She doesnt seem to sleep. She's destroying my privacy fence and denting my siding. I don't know this woman. We met briefly, 6 mos ago? I follow the the videos and i avoid her. Shes escalating. I guess i have to move? Thanks for all replys!
Yes, the angry facial expression my mother shows when I say no or call her out on the lies, she's trying to sell. The lip biting and brief change of tone on her skin shows her anger. Now that it doesn't scare me anymore, she tries snide comments and raising her voice.
Thank you, u have helped me heal and opened my eyes on my ex-partner. Thank to u i know what i am dealing with and it made my life easier. U r strong and u make us stronger❤
I got out of a relationship 80 days ago. I miss her , to tell the truth. But when l remember her anger, her paranoic jealousy, her control of what and how l must say it , how to behave . The fact that l had to lie to her when l was spending time with my children from an other marriage because she had literally prohibited that to me. Lies only to keep her calm. An entire year of pure hell. Only the sex was good. Actually awesome. The unique moment of tenderness and happiness. I loved her. Because at the beginning she had a total different character. When l realized that sth was wrong, l started to lie like a coward because l couldn't stand her anger and her silent treatment. God enlightened me and gave me the courage to leave her. At the beginning she agreed too.With rage of course. But after 2 hours she called me and told me not to leave. And if l leave, it will be my fault not hers. The last thing she said was "and now how am l going to pass my nights?". Needless to say that in the mornings she was waking up furiously and cursing everyone she knew and was going to her mother for coffee. If this is not narcisstic female, can anybody please tell me , how else can it be?
Danish, Im so sorry you went through all this. You are a very empathetic, kind, genuine guy (besides of being very handsome, as well), you definitely didnt deserve such a treatment, and, even worse it came from your own family. LOL. Wish You the best. You are such an inspiration and honestly, a very needed medicine for all of us out there - survivors of narcissistic abuse. 😍🤩🥰
I am so sorry for everything you have gone through, you should be extremely proud of yourself. I cannot explain to you how helpful you have been for me, I watch your videos for quite some time, and slowly I am taking steps to protect myself from the demon I share a child with. From the bottom of my heart, thank you
Danish, I appreciate your personal anecdotes during the videos. They make the information more relatable. Unfortunately, the best therapists in this area seem to have gotten hit with the worst luck in life via NPD parent/s. Thanks so much for sharing your experiences and what you've learned!
in my case, the horrific anger ...is that the whole family freezed me out.... the hidden anger behind the fake facade, in my opinion, is the real horror.
Danish, The way you described your father sounds very much like the doubling down that narcissist do. Instead of feeling guilt and remorse, which they can’t deal with, they continue the abuse.
Keep doing what u do, Danish. Wish u'd bn around many years ago. Took some of us many years to realize & recognize these traits. Believe me, u will help many, sooner than later
@@dolenex No, I have massive rage and resentment from living a lie. Especially since I believed my entire life that my father cared for me and loved me. My motehr was ALWAYS the abusive one, but my father was always her attack-dog/puppet. I always figured if she was out of the picture(they got divorced or something), that he would be more "Normal," but i realize he does awful, evil things, and I realized that he isn't a good person. He will make up lies, situations in order to gaslight or make excuses why he can't do somtehing. Just an awful person. He was the center of my universe, my everything though. So you can imagine someone who meant everything to you... All of a sudden seeing their true self... I've been struggling with it my entire life since the first traumatic incident with him when I was 6, but I blamed my mother for it... He had his own blame too. Now I realize, after the last 6 years or so of going back and forth in my mind about what/who he is.... I have come to the conclusion from all the thoughts, and all the CLARITY from these videos on YT... That he is in fact an awful, evil person. He might claim to "love me," but there is no "love." In reality, both of my parents had awful childhoods(from what I was told), so they were messed up too... BUT IT'SNOT RIGHT TO ABUSE YOUR CHILD(REN) JUST BECAUSE YOU WERE ABUSED. My father would claim that he never had snacks growing up, and that the only snack he had was celery and peanut butter or something.... Then he wold tout how he's the best parent in the world for never buying us snacks.... You can imagine how awful it was growing up without enjoying some snacks here and there. The thing is, I'm still living with them, so I haven't had time to process and RELEASE all this anger, grief, and resentment.... I hope one day I will be able to be happy once again.
understand parents, relatives are like a tag team, each playing out their parts together. It almost killed me when I found out years later than my whole family knew everything and did nothing. Special place in Hell for this kind of abuse and betrayal of a child ir anyone. They are monsters❤️
It took me until I was 58 yr old to finally figure out how you deal with my mom. I had to grieve the loss of what I always strived to get from her. A well-adjusted mom like my classmates had. It took a while to realize she can never change. I now set boundaries & visit 1 time a week only. I give her 2 hrs. I listen to her crap & mostly grey rock. She sometimes ask," Are you listening to me?" I then look her directly in the eyes & respond, " I hear everything you say." Then I go back to Grey rocking. This makes her mad, but gives me peace. I only tolerate her now because she is the woman who gave me life.
@@sonjacurry4473 Just because our mothers birthed us, doesn't mean they deserve us. My mother never wanted me, so she will get what she wanted soon. No contact with her first born. You don't have to be burdened just because she birthed you. We children don't have to owe them anything, even if they make us believe so. In normal families, the children come first, but in our dysfunctional, abusive family structure, we believe having to people please, and do good, is what gets us rewards/good things, etc. WE don't need to believe that anymore, because it was a lie they presented to us.
This describes my ex to a T.. We always blamed it on the fact that he was a recovering addict and this was typical addict behavior. He was also a sex addict. After 23 years together, 13 of those years he was a active in N.A. He left me for an affair that had been going on for 10 years off and on. She ended up marrying someone else. A few years later he sought therapy and it was very intense and lasted for a few years. It changed him completely and he treated his new girlfriend totally different than when we were together. Next month he will 40 years clean. He moved back to our city and all I know is that she wasn’t really into him and after 14 years with her it has ended. I always heard from my kids that based on what she says, he only raised his voice to her once. It was practically a daily thing when I was married to him. From what I can see the few times I’ve been around him he’s much calmer. They say narcissism cannot be cured, so maybe he was just displaying addict behavior, and was not happy in our marriage.
Really you mentioned the exact way of narcissist character, I also had the same experience with my spouse, now these days I learned the mind n also The sad part is they can't control their anger
Thank you for making these videos. I understand the feeling you had as a child. I was raised by an abusive alcoholic stepfather from age 5-15 and my mother was a victim and could not protect me at that time. He was very abusive and controlling and scary. Walking on eggshells my entire childhood. I am not sure if he was a narcissist but definitely toxic and demonic, especially since he was consumed by alcohol. Thank you for sharing your experiences, your videos help me tremendously ❤
My parents were both narcissists and a lot like your parents. My dad was often in a rage, yelling for the least reason or for no discernible reason at all. My mom was a covert narcissist and would pout and give silent treatments for weeks at a time.
I understand what you have gone through. I wonder why some of us get entangled with the whole gamut of NPD. I fear one day to meet the ultimate narcissist - the psychopath sociopath malignant killer narcissist.
My mom who I believe is a covert narcissist just had a medical scare. She had to have a biopsy on her breast to see if she had cancer. To say it terrified me would be an understatement. She already goes on god hates me rants if the simplest things go wrong and I knew if it was positive my life would literally be over. Thank goodness it was negative. I’ve never prayed for something that hard in my life. She then said things on social media saying god is good but then as soon as our tv died she went right back into her ways. I’m so sick of it but I can’t leave cause I’m disabled and telling her she needs help will make it worse .
This is so true: this guy kept saying we are installed lanes and I would say so you want to break up and then he would ask me what are you talking about! Finally the therapist said to ask hi. Directly. He then said he did not want a divorce. I just had to end this.
My exwife declared ' I'm a feminist' on our first date. That should have been our last date if I was smart. She had this anger in her that made me slightly wary at first ,trying to figure out why she had it. But she was simply beautiful in looks. That affects a mans judgement. We married and very quickly she showed her true self. Within a year I did not want to go home after work. Sometimes I'd sit in my car and cry than face the loneliness and abuse that excisted in that house. She drove me to a nervous breakdown. Then dumped me. That was a long time ago. I'm very happy now.
Glad your are OK but this is where men go wrong. There are so many good women waiting to get married and have kids and the women like your ex gets it all just because they are beautiful on the outside alone. There is no hope for us rational, normal, kind hearted women then.
@@cha9165 I was young then, attracted to beauty over personality. I swore off women for about 6 years after my divorce. Then I met a young woman. Slim, long hair, not very tall, not unattractive 5/10, but just not my type. She turned out to be one of the nicest, kindest girls I'd ever known. But she had a psycho possessive boyfriend at the time. I've always said, I should have married her. Pissed away the boyfriend and married her. One of my life's great regrets. So don't give up, there are good men out there, they just don't know what a good woman you are, yet.
My soon to be ex's anger and verbal abuse got worse as I was pulling away. Having been divorced before, I knew we were headed for one. The more I pulled away, not even intentional, the angrier he got. Until ultimately, I disappeared.
Very well description you give. Helpful when relating to others who have no idea. You had both worlds and wow! Here you are. Successful & appreciated. And loved. Who helped you to recover Danish?? Very curious to know. And brilliant too. It could not be so easy with all you had in damage. Is that person your mentor? Is that who got you here to help us? Please answer. I know it is a missing element in my owm personal healing. Thank you. 😉👍♥️
I like to take a stab at the question, which allows me to carefully think about divergence from the provided answer and sometimes a new goal can emerge in consulting the scientific literature. I'll take a crack here by suggesting the narcissistic anger is about exposure, to the person with strong narcissistic characteristics themselves, but through someone else who held up the mirror and thus becomes the object of the anger, of the fact that they are really just an irritable, pathologically needy, and hopelessly inadequate sad little brat. Okay, then, let's see what I can learn today...
Overcome Betrayal After Narcissistic Abuse:
www.emotionalabuserecovery.com/livevent
Narcissists are a horrible nightmare. They're always angry because they hate themselves and need others to blame. Thank you, Danish 🙏🏻
They definitely hate themselves
I saw them for who they are. Actions spoke louder than words. Narcissist will forever be angry at the world even in death. Nothing can satisfy them. No contact
Its a pity the world doesnt see them for who they are.
No contact is awesome! My life has been so peaceful!
Sometimes the anger is in fact fake. My dad used to display fake outrage in order to start an argument so he could get out of taking us somewhere or doing something. Three year old trapped in a mans body. I still can’t get my head around the fact he was my parent 😂
NARCISTIC KNOWS WHAT THEY ARE DOING THEY KNOW THEY ARE GUILTY THEY WILL PUT THE BLAME TO YOU
correct and I think they really get off and enjoy knowing they hurt you.
@@cherylberk4593 You are right! Vindictiveness and greed is what fuels them.
FACTS😳
everything said in this thread is spot on.
after learning more about narcs, I too have come to the conclusion that they know EXACTLY!! what they are doing and will even go so far as to plot out their gaslight routine, anger displays, and silent treatments all ahead of time.
Oo oo me, let me try....
A narcys anger really means he hates himself and he takes his anger out on you because you got what he wants to possess
Or she
@@-B_G- 💥 💥 💥 💥 ABSOLUTLEY!!!!!
I haven't had to deal with afemale one. I think a female narcy is more 😳 dangerous
@@proanimaluver6487I think so, just because society cannot enable female narcissism enough nor fast enough, in the name of demonstrating Cult false holy righteousness.
Their anger is painful to be on the receiving end of.
You got that right!!!
Not today, and I will absolutely not put up with that type of behavior. There will definitely be legal consequences to their actions.
FACTS
BUT U MUST BE UNFOLDING
DONT GIVE IN
Why are you enduring their pain leave their A$$...You'll have peace freedom and feel blissful once they are out of your life. You deserve that❤
The NARC I live with is angry from the minute they get up till they finally go to sleep - it's the only emotion they have, every other one is somehow converted into anger. Fear is ALWAYS converted into anger and lots of it. Anger is their happiness, when you understand that you understand them.
🎯
Hopefully you value your life more than to live with such a toxic person creating PTSD for yourself ❤
This is exactly what ai experienced with my narc. During 22 years, anger, bitterness and frustration was his daily routine. The last 7 years were the worst and it became unlivable after he started cheating on me. Triangulation, gaslighting, breadcrumb and the list goes on and on. I filed for divorce and things are getting even worst. He hates my indifference and my gray stone attitude. Pray for me and my kids. He is anger and just got a new gun.
I can confirm.
@@sucredulce3572 get one of your own.
I can relate to this. It's a terrible experience.
Danish, I'm so sorry that you grew up that way.🙁 I felt that in my heart. Now that you are a narcissistic abuse professional and have a nice following here on UA-cam, and I'm sure a successful practice in a "brick & mortar" building elsewhere, you're now confronting that raging bull and taking it by the horns. That takes courage, my friend.
You came out of the abuse with flying colors and you continue to help other people. We appreciate you!❤️
Don’t trust none of the liars the fake family sold out abd these people are et slaves and not living gods purpose or dream lol 😂
when you call out a narcissist, remember that the more angrier they get, the more they know (and that's your cue) that you're right.
the narcissist is also telling you that they don’t know how to resolve/manage conflict.
cheers from southern ontario, canada 🍁
They don't want to resolve problems. They want you to become responsible of their problems.
@Lyrielonwind absolutely. it's part of their mandate of having power and control.
- cheers, steven
This explains why my logical and moral outlook kept my mother in an endless spiral of pure rage and constant hypocrisy. Complete with bipolar mania to keep the adrenaline going all day long.
Narc anger and rage is terrifying and goes totally out of control...its a nightmare to be close to. And when its combined with borderline and psychopathy traits its like being with the devil...they can explode faster than the blink of an eye and go crazy if they see and think their partner is blinking the eye in the wrong way..narcs are the most fragile and anger abusing persons in this world even the believe they are strong as steel and are never wrong and hurtful
Their demons 👿 eyes turn black they have no soul....your never safe with them I'm thankful mine went to prison only for 14 months for felony assault but it gave me the ability to leave without a trace
@@debprobst330 You are completely AWESOME - I hope you find nothing but peace and joy from now on, you DESERVE it.
I grew up with someone like this. Aside from my father and my older sister this kind of rage behavior was the norm. My best ex friend from grade school was like this.
She was really funny and had a great personality but outside of that she was so mean and cruel, especially to her parents. The way she spoke to them was just so disrespectful. It was just shocking they put up with it. We were in the airport one time and I was ordering food from a vendor and out of the blue she turned around and started screaming at me, accusing me of being disrespectful to the guy that I was ordering my food from. I’m a really nice happy go lucky person and would just never disrespect somebody and he looked at me like he was shocked that she was screaming and I looked at him, the server like what the hell just happened!!
We were both just completely shocked by her behavior and then she went storming off and I looked at the server and said was I rude, and he said not at all. It was truly the most bizarre thing I had ever seen from her. It was almost like she had a burst of something that went on inside of her that she needed to release and so she just like pulled this fake scenario out of the air just so she could throw a rage fit and blame me. Her life has gone significantly downhill and she deserves every bit of the karma that she’s reaping.
@@thirstonhowellthebird she isnt really reaping karma as much as she is just sabotaging everything for herself because she cant control her mental problem and would also NEVER believe anyone that told her she had a problem (thats the built-in untreatability of narcissism). What she did there was a typical volcano scene where whatever anxiety, fear, uncertainty, or doubt she had that she couldn't process reached a certain point it then is converted to rage and is then sprayed on you or anyone else within range and then it's over, like ten minutes later she doesn't even want to deal with the mess she created so she would deny it, or blame you, etc. Their inability to "own" anything internal that they cant process and implies they aren't perfect has to be dumped as imperfection on someone else, its mega-projection. They also cant be made to face an outburst like that, they will twist and turn till the end of time to pave over it because they live in a hellish fantasy world were protecting the self-image is priority one way above all else. They cant be fixed but if you CAN get away from them then simply do it. The real misery comes when you are stuck being around one of these people with no way out.
Anger is their favorite emotion. Other emotions in them are undeveloped
For being a narcisstic abuse coach , you deserve to receive an award , for helping all this emotional damage !
You are a messenger from God !
Danish is a Psychologist which means he has a PhD in Psychology for years of study of human behaviors. He truly gets it and most others in counseling profession do not. I’m so thankful Danish has created his courses and seminars to help narc abuse victim become survivors and thrives. And yes, I agree he should get an award for his work and for all the lives he has saved.
My ex-boss used to explode into violent rage and cussing in a split second. Thank God I no longer work there.
Seems to be a trait of entitled management almost everywhere I’ve worked..
My boss tried that, and I turned and yelled him into the corner of his walnut paneled lair. I had teenagers. 😂🤝
GOOD FOR U✌🏿
Please make a video on how narcissistic parents sabotage their children's development and how we as children of narcissists can recover from the sabotage
How? I will tell you how, I’m not trying to be Danish here, I’m just telling what I have experienced as an adult daughter of a narc mother. If you are lucky and you discover soon that’s good you can dismiss their attitude and focus on yourself but if you discover later on like me after more than decade of constant abuse upon abuse, you loose your sense of self and everything you do in your life whether it be at work with coworkers or with your friends you always feel small and second guess yourself. You loose interest in your hobbies if they ever allow you to even develop to that level. I spent my entire adult life trying to please my mother, just to make her happy and be seen by her. Guess what? That’s right you guessed it. She doesn’t see it, doesn’t care. After lambasting me to her friends and the whole family and turned my elder brother against me and trained my youngest sister to be indifferent to me, I ended up a scapegoat. You think she is done with me, right? No she is not done! After harassing me to marry this man, she then sabotaged my relationship with him, by doing the same things she’s done to me all my life. She didn’t stop there, my husband’s father, mother, aunties, all tasted her medicine and now after going no contact for 2 years now, me and my husband are getting divorce because our problems always brings up “my mother in the picture”. I initiated the divorce by the way. They don’t bring goodness these people.
Great idea, I second this request. You never forget, and we should never be forgive the damage dobe❤️
GREAT TOPIC
Wow! “Stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about!” 😮😮😮👊🏾
I got this too. My mistake was being female with a twin brother
😂 I had to laugh bc I definitely use this line for my daughter when she has tantrums to get her way. I think I may be a narcissist now. 😅
@@tinaleigh3273 Aw, there's gotta be better way, mom. 😢
@@tinaleigh3273this kind of behaviour is called emotional abuse you thinking it’s funny says you need help
I remember that line. Also "Children should be seen and not heard." Our father was a hot mess and it literally changed how our brains work.
Yes their rage is just a way of covering up their fake self....but it is ferocious, I say..needs divine power to heal..
FAKE FOR LIFE!!!
Or an exorcism.
When they are reminded of their inadequacies, it manifests as anger. They vent it on their most convenient supply, even if that supply is not the source of their shame. It’s their psychotic need to feel powerful again and the only way they know how to reboot and recharge is by making someone else feel powerless, inadequate and insignificant.
I’m so very sorry You had to live with such Trauma and Abuse ! I can relate , Both My Parents were Demon Possessed 👺and one of my brothers! They all hated Me because I’m always happy 😊 They tried always to destroy My Happiness! My Mumster is 86 and still as Evil as ever ! I’ve recently went no contact! At 64 I’m staying Happy 😊 I’m done with My Narcissistic Family 👺
Ditto!
Correct 🎉🎉🎉
Me 2👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼
Same ..plus an Aunt and sister and male cousin.....all dead by the hand of God after isolation due to their evil ways...Praise Jesus they can hurt no one else
@@katjay3125 I know that ! These Entities are Demon Possessed! Satan has them now , and He has had them ! I’m so sorry you’ve had to live with them ! I pray God Blesses You with much peace ☮️ and happiness 😊
Narcissists are good at choosing people who don’t have friends and family who don’t care for them. They know to fly
Noting the narc slaves tries works better to be alone and serving your divine purpose than a slave to the narcs fake heaven and city that’s burning abd only lashing out at their victims lol 😂
@@shawnj-o1k Yeah. And we thought we will help them realize their dream
Narcissists face karma and their entire life will be failure, poverty driven and failures. Nature and time have their own way of judgements and punishments.
AND EVEN IF THEY ARE SUCCESSFUL
THEY STILL DONT WIN!!!!!!!👍🏿
The rage is like disassociation. Very scary to witness.😢 Then they say "I love you." You realize they have no clue what love is.
You don't mess with me is the exact words I heard. I thought to myself. I'm a Narc warrior. U don't mess with me
any anger causes me instant PTS . my dad was a very angry man untill he was half drunk . then i marry a gal with extreme anger issues that i thought i could fix by “ turning the other cheek “ it doesn’t work. i tried for 40 years. if your in that spot … Run !!! you can not help them
or change them 😞
Yes. The longer u wait, the more years u waste in utter despair.
@@Mishmixalot Amen, years you can’t take back 😞
And the stare... He thinks the stare scares me. And when I laugh the anger gets louder and so does my laugh. 🤣
(working on escape plan, no worries)
It’s amazing that you went through that and did not become a narcissist yourself.
ITS POSSIBLE
TO DEAL WITH AND NOT BECOME
ONE!!! IM A LIVING WITNESS
MY CHILDREN’S DAD
SO SO BAD
HE DIED
@@amaqueen9012 I know; i come from a narcissistic family and I am not one. I don’t understand why you’re shouting at me…
I believe my father is covert, but he has massive rages. My mother is the more overt, grandiose narc, and she will just get angry and rage and run into her room and slam the door and throw a temper tantrum(but she also will give the silent treatment, not want to talk to you, etc, etc). Dad will explode and get in your face like he wants to fight you.
One day I will most likely not be able to hold back and will push him or hit him. One time I got so angry while washing my hands I thew soap at him, and he was saying how "Childish" it was. IT was better than me punching him in the face. I don't even remember what it was, but i was so angry.
These people are so rage inducing.
A few years ago I got into crocheting, watched some videos on Granny squares. Told him to leave me alone so I can concentrate. After the 3rd interruption I stood up so quick the chair fell & as I'm screaming at I'm throwing balls of yarn at him. 🤣 Yes the "visual" is funny, the interruptions were him putting his phone right on my face! He just HAD to show me stupid Facebook videos. 🤦♀️
Am certainly not an expert, only a survivor. I hear what you are saying and sense your anger, frustration and pain, but wouldn't unleashing on them physically be kind of like a dose of jet fuel to fill their void instead of oxygen? They get high from other's reactions to their anger and abuse and that is their fuel to ignite victims. Just a thought.
Best option, go no contact mean it, live your own good life even if alone better than badly accompanied. Danish and others here understand, hear you, you are not alone so dont feed the beast
THEY KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING THEY KNOW THE GUILT I SWEAR TO GOD THEY KNOW WHAT THEY DOING . PLEASE DO MORE RESEARCH I HAVE EXPERIENCE WITH THAT ALL YEARS STILL TODAY . THEY KNOW WHAT THEY DOING
Yup, they know ,but don't care. Most of the time they don't even think it's bad. They just live in their own fantasy world.
I forgot who said it, but they believe that they are doing good.
My mother will rage at me, say the worst sht possible, and dad will stand there like a statue. The second I say leave me alone, or fk off or something, he will FLY INTO A RAGE, GET RED IN THE FACE AND START YELLING AT ME. Or he will say "It does no good to fight back," or "It will only make things worse to fight back,"
When i ask him why he never stands up for me and why he always says that he says "I'm doing it to "help you." HELP ME? NO IT'S TO HELP YOU SO YOU DON'T GET SHT FROM MOM LATER.
IMAGINE TELLING A YOUNG BOY/MAN TO NOT FIGHT BACK WHEN HE'S BEING ATTACKED? How can a father be like that? Worthless.
Correct
FACTS
The only way is to get out from their hell and try to live withouth them to have peace somehow
THEY ARE BROKEN
this is exactly what my husbnd is. i suffered a lot. before i didn't have idea about narcicist 😢 more than 10 yrs of marriage 😥
I HAD THE SAME HUSBAND EXPERIENCE
BUT I SURVIVED AND HES DEAD AND GONE
BUT MY SON MARRIED ONE🙄😳
Thank you so much for being strong enough to share your story and give actual support to people. My parents were both narcs. Finally I feel happy and free after years of their ingrained abuse and neglect. Freedom tastes so good!
GOOD FOR U✌🏿
I didn't understand why they were angry until this video. I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt...thinking maybe they are having a bad day, personal issues, or there's a misunderstanding. Now I know better...it's one of the many ways they use to control and manipulate you. Thank you Danish for another insightful video.
Same!
OMG!!! When you talked about having a fight one night, they have said things that hurt you.
It hurts you deeply.
Yet, the next morning they act fine and "normal"
Wow!
I love these videos, because they show me spot on, what I have been dealing with.
This is one very painful thing my spouse does to me over and over again.
I get up the next morning, there is no apology, not even a single shred of recognition that anything was wrong.
And god forbid I bring it up! Then, I am met with more anger and hatred.
So, every cruelty he throws at me, I just have to keep stuffing all my hurt, anger and frustration inside myself. He will not allow me to have a voice.
I get so sick of it.
I'm ready to fly!!!
I would not wish a narcissistic partner on anyone!!!
I experienced the same 😢
Make plans to leave quietly and fast. This relationship will go downhill. You can only keep stuffing your hurt and anger for so long. He has no accountability and no respect for you. My ex did the same. I'm 14 months no contact. Yay! 🎉
They rage at you then turn over and go to sleep. You stay up traumatized and ruminating.
Leave as quickly as possible but Secretly and quietly. Never ever confront a narcissist. They are satanic.
How about the road rage...I had years of it, as a passenger in the car and with my small children. It was terrifying.
Tell me about it 😢
I can't tell you how many times I have jumped out and walked home, it's truly scary! DANGEROUS!
When I mentioned losing our baby partly due the stress he was sending me through (mind you, the baby he initially set out to intentionally get me pregnant with because when we first met I was animated about not having any more kids and when I first found out I was pregnant he was excited immediately called and told some of his family and friends but I guess once his former fiancé/discard, current re-idolization/supply gave in and started entertaining him and eventually started sleeping with him, he no longer wanted my baby and told me to choose between having him or having my baby and when I chose my baby, he still stayed but only up until 2 1/2 weeks after I miscarried my baby.) But the day when I said he was part of the reason why I miscarried my ex covert malignant narc eyes went black and he lashed out with vengeance at me.😕 and I knew it was because it made him feel a smidge of guilt or shame.
I'm sorry you went through that peace prayers and blessings going 🙏 your way
Yes, for myself, I became a big people pleaser and as a kid I think I was always fawning as a protective mechanism
I have been battling CPTSD from my mother’s narcissistic rage. She is at her end of life now, and I didn’t realize how her rage had impacted me until she had to go to a care facility and I had to start managing her affairs. Ugh! I tried to power through the freeze response and the shaking episodes, but thinking of who she is behind the rage seems like an insightful solution. Thank you Danish! 🙏🏽
Wow! So true. This is what I experienced many many times with my husband who is now my ex. I was even still kinda friends with him up until about 4-6 months ago when I told him nicely that sometimes we have to make amends to people in our lives and I mostly meant his kids and his one sister who no longer talks to him. His sons rarely talk to him, our oldest because at his wedding his dad got super drunk, though my sons groomsmen all told him not to drink (he’s an alcoholic) and was hitting on a young woman who was working there and the older woman, her boss, cut him off. Anyway he was an embarrassment like he always is when he gets drunk. Our middle son talks to him once in a great while. Our daughter lives her dad, even forgave him for choking her out one night when he was super drunk. Well after I said that he switched in a second, started screaming at me that he didn’t have to answer to anyone except God who loves him unconditionally. He called me a bitch and told me to get the f out. I did and told him before I left “dude, you’re messed up”. That’s when I decided (way past due) that I would not talk to him ever again. All the years I was with him, close to 30 (yeah I can’t believe it either) he would always go into a rage if anyone criticized him or confronted him on his wrong behavior. Never takes responsibility for his actions, always blames others, acts immature and insecure. It was so dysfunctional I can hardly believe I stayed so long. I actually kicked him out so many times I lost count, but kept taking him back even after he cheated on me in our own bed (I found out years later he bragged to my brother and my daughter that he cheated on me many times besides that), hoping he’d grow up, be responsible, quit drinking, quit doing drugs, quit wanting to party and blast music, which he did at times but it never lasted. There were so many problems in our marriage, too much to go into here. And I’m not saying I was not at fault. I never appreciated the good things he did. I always found one thing he didn’t do and complained about that. Maybe I never loved him like I should have, unconditionally like a biblical wife should. He even said he was never good enough for me. He was illiterate as far as he couldn’t spell and always acted childish and goofy which embarrassed me or he’d get jealous for no reason. I never wanted to go out with him in public. He did things to make me happy, built me furniture, made our yard really nice cause I wanted a nice yard, found the house I still live in that we bought though he didn’t ask or tell me about it beforehand, only told me we were buying it. Anyway I could go on and on but I’ll stop now. I just can relate to what you are saying. I pray for him and really do wish him the best. I hope he has an epiphany or that God speaks to his heart and mind and soul and that he’ll realize all the people he’s hurt and ask for forgiveness. I hate to think there is no hope for these people cause that to me is the saddest thing. Need his willingness to admit and wanting to reach out to God and God’s help after that.
Silent treatments are a pleasant break from their constant demands.
This morning it happened🎯
Thank You Danish for being a Healer from GOD. Turning your suffering from your tramatic life into global help for educating countless people about the diabolical disorder. I had two narcissist's for parents, & others out of my life now.Double Blessingsto YOU.
I don’t know Dinesh. The “insecure” as I define it, doesn’t jibe with the vicious attack - animalistic (a rabid animal- BC most animals have a reason to attack you!) .
Thank you for sharing what you experienced from your horrific NPD experiences and allowing the rest of us to glean from that knowledge in our own healing journeys.
Thank You Danish, this video hits home just like ALL of your videos do. Thank you for telling us what goes on behind a narcissist's words and actions. For many years, I thought my sibling's arrogance and hostility towards me was because I was the lowest person on earth. She & my mom have such a vicious, vindictive, aggressiveness towards me. They went out of their way to inculcate the false narratives that I believed for decades about myself. They present themselves as superior & all knowing. They are monsters who love inflicting pain. They tried to destroy me, but failed because thanks to your information about narcissism, I am able to know how to deal with these sick people.
Your malignant narc dad is a monster who tried, but also failed to take you down. It was /is wrong for them ( your parents) to abuse you like this. Thank you for freeing us from the false narratives the narcissists create out of their envy and insecurities. I am empowered and no contact for almost 2 yrs now. Thank you Danish😁
It’s painful beyond imagination, the whole scenario because other family members co-operate with them and view you as the outcast who doesn’t love your family.
So sorry for your painful experiences. Know that you are not alone, you are a survivor. They are monsters. All of us thank Hod for Danish and his sharing🙏🏻
Correct 100%
Your recommended proactive response at the end of this video truly works. I found it by trial and error by myself years ago, but it actually helps tremendously. Thanks for so effectively equipping and validating the rest of us.
Dear God, thank you for Danish’ journey and his testimony to help us. Thank you for keeping him alive, safe and for healing him. May his journey continue to be a blessing for others lives. Amen 🙏
He’s grumpy and angry all day everyday. I can’t take it anymore. This gives me some hope thanks for the video❤
When the narcissist is quiet, not arguing and exploding in a rage makes me think that the narcissist is not feeling well.
NOT!!! PLANNING NEXT ATTACK 🔥
Or plotting your demise.
“ if there is ANYTHING that every narcissist has, it is anger “
That is an absolutely true umbrella -an absolute!
Rage. Irresponsible screaming.
Danish, this one is PERFECT. I listened as I drove to work and it truly was as if you were speaking to me. SO accurate. I love knowing that I am not going crazy. My EXISTENCE is not the problem. This is just such freeing truth. Still so unpleasant dealing with the seethingly angry narcissist in my life, but it's HER problem, not mine. Thank you for all you do!!
It’s like you’ve been in my house. Especially the all you do is blame me, stonewalling for weeks, just fucking sucked being punished for caring about our relationship. It broke my heart. I finally gaining the courage not to go back after being discarded and stonewalled for confronting him for cheating and living a double life. It’s been very helpful finding these channels to help me see the abuse that I have been enduring and I didn’t know it. We have been going to separation counseling now and he’s been saying that I’ve been terrible to him, I wasn’t safe and all kinds of things, I was starting to think I was a crazy narcissist myself but my own therapist said there is no fucking way., my friends and family also said I am not the kind of person he’s been saying I am. But wow, literally questioning my own character is insane.
this is spot on, my mum is also the queen of silent treatment, its been almost six months now since she spoke to me and she's just in the room next 2mine...
I recently had a confrontation my neighbor due to his passive aggressive conduct to annoy me. He frequently waits until after my gardener has just finished cleaning everything up, then gets out his leaf blower to blow the leaves from the front of his house into my yard and driveway. I asked him to stop doing this previously about a year ago and he stopped but started again recently so I waited until I caught him in the act. He initially backed down but a few hours later sent a misleading text to all the neighbors that mischaracterized the situation in order to triangulate them against me. I responded by diplomatically putting the situation into its true context which exposed his hidden agenda to our he neighbors. That triggered him to respond with narcissistic rage and exposed his malign intent for everyone to see.
Such drama! They love the attention and their anger even more.
Your parents are lucky. Despite of the abuse you that you went through, you still became a good son. So sorry Danish, I could relate to your problems. Thank God I made it through as well. God bless us.
Your description of the parental silent treatment is chilling. This was used against me specifically when I called out the parent’s behaviour - the ensuing ice forcing me to capitulate and apologise.
so much informative.. thank u brother Danish . U r being blessed everyday coz u r helping others to find a way out.. n u urself was a victim . Feel sad wen hearing ur story. . but the most important part is that only good endings count ... U r loved by many . Stay honored n blessed
My mother was angry all her life, all the time. She even didn't know to laugh.
That’s my father what a miserable life
Her childhood must have been a nightmare
Sounds like my life i have been stripped of everything controls everything wanting peace again. Wish i had the income to do your workshop thats controlled to. Thank you for your videos helping me understand
You never fail to amaze me, Danish! Such stamina u have! Could u talk about the anger expressed by the narcissist versus the reactive anger of the victim that is inappropriately imposed on innocent others in relationships. This out-of- proportion reactive anger leads to deep shame felt by the victim all due to the abuse he or she suffered at the hands of their narc parents. Hope that's clear. Thanks for all! 😊
I end up falling asleep arguing and he giggles and said you made me smile .
My father was the same as yours Danish with the bulging eyes, clenching teeth and fists while beating my mother, brother or myself. I thought that his deep rooted anger derived from being drafted into the Vietnam war.
I am sorry for what you have endured Danish😢 I have seen that intense level of abuse with my own eyes and the frightening shouting with my ears. Especially toward my brother who was a well behaved intelligent kid that never did anything that bad at all. He was projected onto so badly. Over what? I could never understand.
My brother has fallen off the deep end long ago as he could no longer remain strong and became a very broken person😢
I am saddened by the tragedy over my family over narcissistic abuse.
Now I have to deal with the narcissistic cult with my in-laws. The three oldest women in my husband's family. My husband was/is the scapegoat child.
It pains me to watch him be their doormat. The narc cult has tried to groom me into being their doormat too.
During the pandemic, I realized I was playing along due to my lifelong people pleasing tendencies. I was so much happier with my life social distancing because I was not around the in-laws. I have distanced myself as much as possible from them since and that loss of control over me drives them crazy.
So true Danish.
Danish: Excellent Video.. Thank You. It's remarkable you have managed to Survive your Narcissistic Abuse & become such a Help in Enlightening others.
Another insightful video
My heart goes out to you, learning what terrible abuse you have had to go through.
Dear Danish, I'm sorry about your parents. They sound like my parents. I'm very sorry.
My father was physically abusive (I don't know, if he was a narcissist. He was a mean alcoholic.) I believe my mother was a covert narcissist, but I didn't understand for yrs and yrs. My mother lied about most everything. I didn't realize how much she lied until I was 28 and married. My husband helped me understand, plus he supported me and was honest with me like no one in my family ever was.
I'm currently 65 and live alone.
I moved (10 mos ago) next to a violent, controlling, narcissistic woman. I'm barely acquainted with her. For 6 mos she's been vandalizing my property and harassing me. I've ignored her so far. I thinking about security cameras although i have a feeling that will insight her. She doesnt seem to sleep. She's destroying my privacy fence and denting my siding. I don't know this woman. We met briefly, 6 mos ago? I follow the the videos and i avoid her. Shes escalating. I guess i have to move? Thanks for all replys!
Yes, the angry facial expression my mother shows when I say no or call her out on the lies, she's trying to sell. The lip biting and brief change of tone on her skin shows her anger. Now that it doesn't scare me anymore, she tries snide comments and raising her voice.
Thank you, u have helped me heal and opened my eyes on my ex-partner. Thank to u i know what i am dealing with and it made my life easier. U r strong and u make us stronger❤
I got out of a relationship 80 days ago. I miss her , to tell the truth. But when l remember her anger, her paranoic jealousy, her control of what and how l must say it , how to behave . The fact that l had to lie to her when l was spending time with my children from an other marriage because she had literally prohibited that to me. Lies only to keep her calm. An entire year of pure hell. Only the sex was good. Actually awesome. The unique moment of tenderness and happiness. I loved her. Because at the beginning she had a total different character. When l realized that sth was wrong, l started to lie like a coward because l couldn't stand her anger and her silent treatment. God enlightened me and gave me the courage to leave her. At the beginning she agreed too.With rage of course. But after 2 hours she called me and told me not to leave. And if l leave, it will be my fault not hers. The last thing she said was "and now how am l going to pass my nights?". Needless to say that in the mornings she was waking up furiously and cursing everyone she knew and was going to her mother for coffee. If this is not narcisstic female, can anybody please tell me , how else can it be?
Danish ur my favorite Narcissistic Abuse awareness channel.Thank you for everything you do for your viewers❤❤❤🕊🙏🥲🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
You are so spot on Bashir. Thank you for turning your pain into power. Your speaking about it so accurately is bringing liberty to many.
Thank you
Danish, Im so sorry you went through all this. You are a very empathetic, kind, genuine guy (besides of being very handsome, as well), you definitely didnt deserve such a treatment, and, even worse it came from your own family. LOL. Wish You the best. You are such an inspiration and honestly, a very needed medicine for all of us out there - survivors of narcissistic abuse. 😍🤩🥰
I am so sorry for everything you have gone through, you should be extremely proud of yourself. I cannot explain to you how helpful you have been for me, I watch your videos for quite some time, and slowly I am taking steps to protect myself from the demon I share a child with. From the bottom of my heart, thank you
Danish, I appreciate your personal anecdotes during the videos. They make the information more relatable. Unfortunately, the best therapists in this area seem to have gotten hit with the worst luck in life via NPD parent/s. Thanks so much for sharing your experiences and what you've learned!
in my case, the horrific anger ...is that the whole family freezed me out.... the hidden anger behind the fake facade, in my opinion, is the real horror.
Danish, The way you described your father sounds very much like the doubling down that narcissist do. Instead of feeling guilt and remorse, which they can’t deal with, they continue the abuse.
Danish brother you nailed it....100% correct...I am living this every day....
Keep doing what u do, Danish. Wish u'd bn around many years ago. Took some of us many years to realize & recognize these traits. Believe me, u will help many, sooner than later
A demon comes out in fact!
You're a true Warrior of The Light Danish..You are helping so many. Bless you ❤
What about those of us abuse victims who are angry?
I think that it really depends on case by case. I get ANGRY at the narcissists, my parents.
Its their anger you may pick up on and feel intensely.
@@dolenex No, I have massive rage and resentment from living a lie.
Especially since I believed my entire life that my father cared for me and loved me. My motehr was ALWAYS the abusive one, but my father was always her attack-dog/puppet. I always figured if she was out of the picture(they got divorced or something), that he would be more "Normal," but i realize he does awful, evil things, and I realized that he isn't a good person. He will make up lies, situations in order to gaslight or make excuses why he can't do somtehing. Just an awful person.
He was the center of my universe, my everything though. So you can imagine someone who meant everything to you... All of a sudden seeing their true self...
I've been struggling with it my entire life since the first traumatic incident with him when I was 6, but I blamed my mother for it... He had his own blame too.
Now I realize, after the last 6 years or so of going back and forth in my mind about what/who he is.... I have come to the conclusion from all the thoughts, and all the CLARITY from these videos on YT...
That he is in fact an awful, evil person. He might claim to "love me," but there is no "love."
In reality, both of my parents had awful childhoods(from what I was told), so they were messed up too... BUT IT'SNOT RIGHT TO ABUSE YOUR CHILD(REN) JUST BECAUSE YOU WERE ABUSED.
My father would claim that he never had snacks growing up, and that the only snack he had was celery and peanut butter or something....
Then he wold tout how he's the best parent in the world for never buying us snacks.... You can imagine how awful it was growing up without enjoying some snacks here and there.
The thing is, I'm still living with them, so I haven't had time to process and RELEASE all this anger, grief, and resentment....
I hope one day I will be able to be happy once again.
understand parents, relatives are like a tag team, each playing out their parts together. It almost killed me when I found out years later than my whole family knew everything and did nothing. Special place in Hell for this kind of abuse and betrayal of a child ir anyone. They are monsters❤️
It took me until I was 58 yr old to finally figure out how you deal with my mom. I had to grieve the loss of what I always strived to get from her. A well-adjusted mom like my classmates had. It took a while to realize she can never change. I now set boundaries & visit 1 time a week only. I give her 2 hrs. I listen to her crap & mostly grey rock. She sometimes ask," Are you listening to me?" I then look her directly in the eyes & respond, " I hear everything you say." Then I go back to Grey rocking. This makes her mad, but gives me peace. I only tolerate her now because she is the woman who gave me life.
@@sonjacurry4473 Just because our mothers birthed us, doesn't mean they deserve us.
My mother never wanted me, so she will get what she wanted soon. No contact with her first born.
You don't have to be burdened just because she birthed you. We children don't have to owe them anything, even if they make us believe so.
In normal families, the children come first, but in our dysfunctional, abusive family structure, we believe having to people please, and do good, is what gets us rewards/good things, etc.
WE don't need to believe that anymore, because it was a lie they presented to us.
This describes my ex to a T.. We always blamed it on the fact that he was a recovering addict and this was typical addict behavior. He was also a sex addict. After 23 years together, 13 of those years he was a active in N.A. He left me for an affair that had been going on for 10 years off and on. She ended up marrying someone else. A few years later he sought therapy and it was very intense and lasted for a few years. It changed him completely and he treated his new girlfriend totally different than when we were together. Next month he will 40 years clean. He moved back to our city and all I know is that she wasn’t really into him and after 14 years with her it has ended. I always heard from my kids that based on what she says, he only raised his voice to her once. It was practically a daily thing when I was married to him. From what I can see the few times I’ve been around him he’s much calmer. They say narcissism cannot be cured, so maybe he was just displaying addict behavior, and was not happy in our marriage.
I feel, have lived and am still living with your kind of pain.
Really you mentioned the exact way of narcissist character, I also had the same experience with my spouse, now these days I learned the mind n also The sad part is they can't control their anger
Thank you for making these videos. I understand the feeling you had as a child. I was raised by an abusive alcoholic stepfather from age 5-15 and my mother was a victim and could not protect me at that time. He was very abusive and controlling and scary. Walking on eggshells my entire childhood. I am not sure if he was a narcissist but definitely toxic and demonic, especially since he was consumed by alcohol. Thank you for sharing your experiences, your videos help me tremendously ❤
My parents were both narcissists and a lot like your parents. My dad was often in a rage, yelling for the least reason or for no discernible reason at all. My mom was a covert narcissist and would pout and give silent treatments for weeks at a time.
Danish- you are always so spot on!
Bless you Sir.
I understand what you have gone through. I wonder why some of us get entangled with the whole gamut of NPD. I fear one day to meet the ultimate narcissist - the psychopath sociopath malignant killer narcissist.
My mom who I believe is a covert narcissist just had a medical scare. She had to have a biopsy on her breast to see if she had cancer. To say it terrified me would be an understatement. She already goes on god hates me rants if the simplest things go wrong and I knew if it was positive my life would literally be over. Thank goodness it was negative. I’ve never prayed for something that hard in my life. She then said things on social media saying god is good but then as soon as our tv died she went right back into her ways. I’m so sick of it but I can’t leave cause I’m disabled and telling her she needs help will make it worse .
Danish you are genius man.
This is so true: this guy kept saying we are installed lanes and I would say so you want to break up and then he would ask me what are you talking about!
Finally the therapist said to ask hi. Directly. He then said he did not want a divorce.
I just had to end this.
My exwife declared ' I'm a feminist' on our first date. That should have been our last date if I was smart. She had this anger in her that made me slightly wary at first ,trying to figure out why she had it. But she was simply beautiful in looks. That affects a mans judgement. We married and very quickly she showed her true self. Within a year I did not want to go home after work. Sometimes I'd sit in my car and cry than face the loneliness and abuse that excisted in that house. She drove me to a nervous breakdown. Then dumped me. That was a long time ago. I'm very happy now.
Glad your are OK but this is where men go wrong. There are so many good women waiting to get married and have kids and the women like your ex gets it all just because they are beautiful on the outside alone. There is no hope for us rational, normal, kind hearted women then.
@@cha9165 I was young then, attracted to beauty over personality. I swore off women for about 6 years after my divorce. Then I met a young woman. Slim, long hair, not very tall, not unattractive 5/10, but just not my type. She turned out to be one of the nicest, kindest girls I'd ever known. But she had a psycho possessive boyfriend at the time. I've always said, I should have married her. Pissed away the boyfriend and married her.
One of my life's great regrets. So don't give up, there are good men out there, they just don't know what a good woman you are, yet.
My soon to be ex's anger and verbal abuse got worse as I was pulling away. Having been divorced before, I knew we were headed for one. The more I pulled away, not even intentional, the angrier he got. Until ultimately, I disappeared.
Very well description you give. Helpful when relating to others who have no idea. You had both worlds and wow! Here you are. Successful & appreciated. And loved. Who helped you to recover Danish?? Very curious to know. And brilliant too. It could not be so easy with all you had in damage. Is that person your mentor? Is that who got you here to help us? Please answer. I know it is a missing element in my owm personal healing. Thank you. 😉👍♥️
Spot on.🎉thx for sharing.
I saw and felt the split inside the demon, so scattered feelings in him, I felt sorry for the narc person who had that inside of him.
How to handle threats of a narcissist after break up...
I like to take a stab at the question, which allows me to carefully think about divergence from the provided answer and sometimes a new goal can emerge in consulting the scientific literature. I'll take a crack here by suggesting the narcissistic anger is about exposure, to the person with strong narcissistic characteristics themselves, but through someone else who held up the mirror and thus becomes the object of the anger, of the fact that they are really just an irritable, pathologically needy, and hopelessly inadequate sad little brat. Okay, then, let's see what I can learn today...