5 Things that Shocks a Narcissist to their Core

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  • Опубліковано 3 чер 2024
  • Register for workshop on "Break the trauma bond with a Narcissist"
    www.emotionalabuserecovery.co...
    chapters
    00:00 Introduction
    01:12 1.When you become stoic
    03:00 2.When you become declarative & stop being expressive
    04:38 3.When you choose yourself over them
    07:01 4.When you don't care what they say to others about you
    09:15 5.When you do not take the bait at all

КОМЕНТАРІ • 340

  • @alwayslearningthankyou2708
    @alwayslearningthankyou2708 3 місяці тому +289

    This video is a good reminder to those who are leaving or who have left a narcissist. Don't play their game and you will win.

    • @joseenoel8093
      @joseenoel8093 3 місяці тому

      Never let your guard down, mine withheld sex, ok by me (now I say you made this prob now you fix it).. Today I shot that he thought that would work as I'd let him think it was the best sex I'd ever had... Ah such freedom is fun!

    • @ImAlwaysHere1
      @ImAlwaysHere1 3 місяці тому +22

      @@PrayerPartnerExtraordinaire Correct. There is NO win. There is simply walk away and forget them.

    • @walkingjudy3067
      @walkingjudy3067 3 місяці тому +20

      There is a win when you walk away. You get your life back. You get your power back. If you see that as a loss you are still under the control of the narcissist.

    • @ImAlwaysHere1
      @ImAlwaysHere1 3 місяці тому +5

      @@walkingjudy3067 No one said it was a loss. Just because there is no win doesn't mean a loss. But thanks for trying to insult me. Are you a narcissist?

    • @leighleigh8725
      @leighleigh8725 3 місяці тому

      NO ONE SAYS NO TO MOLESTED DOUG 🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴

  • @prophet1782
    @prophet1782 3 місяці тому +85

    Never go back is 100 % correct

  • @Charlotte66666
    @Charlotte66666 3 місяці тому +163

    Grey Rocking the narcissist does work, you starve them of any attention.

    • @joseenoel8093
      @joseenoel8093 3 місяці тому +12

      Who doesn't need energy, let 'em get their own soul crushing vampires.

    • @Carolinekatongo
      @Carolinekatongo 2 місяці тому +5

      Exactly. Let them get it from themselves. We r tired.

    • @camillejames3847
      @camillejames3847 2 місяці тому +1

      This is legit

  • @JAZZLlFE
    @JAZZLlFE 3 місяці тому +76

    Your love, care, concern, compassion & empathy are the very tools a narcissist depends on to use against you to destroy you and they are overjoyed that you assisted them in your destruction.

  • @edgreen8140
    @edgreen8140 3 місяці тому +90

    Give them silence!

  • @ghostqueen2082
    @ghostqueen2082 3 місяці тому +45

    They are ALWAYS playing mind games...deploy your poker face ❤

  • @shirlspark_stardust
    @shirlspark_stardust 3 місяці тому +135

    Before discrading the narcisist i married i became stoic or indiffernet nothing he said affected me he told me your boring 😂i told him leave me and go find excitement i have gone no contact and now he reaching out nah doesnt deserve to hear from me ever again i value my peace 😊🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

    • @queleene84
      @queleene84 3 місяці тому +3

      I love to see it!

    • @billpetersen298
      @billpetersen298 3 місяці тому +2

      After going grey rock, and no contact, with someone you loved.
      Can you feel as free and alive, as you once did. Has a little bit of something inside died. Or do you feel more appreciative of life again?

    • @Dollhousehenderson
      @Dollhousehenderson 17 днів тому +1

      Watching these videos this morning helped me to realize that I am actually being stoic with a narcissist right now and they absolutely do not know how to take it. I feel very certain their next move will be playing the victim if they are not currently doing that. Thank you for your content.

  • @user-dz7pi5wi6t
    @user-dz7pi5wi6t 3 місяці тому +44

    Once I realize someone is a narcissist, I lose all respect and interest in them. I'll still be polite and civil if they are...but everything they do or say irritates me, knowing what they are and what to expect (or not to expect) from them.

  • @thompsonlauren1004
    @thompsonlauren1004 2 місяці тому +105

    Being with my ex narc for the past 8 yrs. made me observe this very pattern. I think they wanted to feel very important in a way that is disturbing. Instead of building trust with their intimate partners, they destroy the trust that they built with you (in that case lying when they tried to put you in their pedestal). Once they have a committed partner, they can’t stand being loved authentically by one person. Instead they go on and prey on other women that is susceptible to their love bombing. My ex narc was a compulsive pursuer in a relationship. He would go back and forth to the women he were involved before or try to meet women in complicated situation so that going public isn’t an option while having you as their main supply. In the end they destroy the very person that loved them. They are like toddlers testing your love for them. Showing and telling them you love them isn’t enough, they will cheat on your face to make you feel inadequate even if you are more than they deserve. They want to test your love for them so they keep hurting you and when you have enough of their abuse, you leave. Then they tell you, ‘you never loved me because you abandon me’. Well in fact it’s their actions and narcissistic behavior that made you leave or in other cases they discard you and will give silly reasons of the discard. Mine would use, ‘she’s crazy’, ‘she’s a nega-star’, ‘she insults me’, ‘she cheated on me’ et al. So with this pattern of infidelities and emotional abuse (who knows what else) it’s better to walk away. I did walk away and is now rebuilding my life with our daughter. We are struggling financially because I’m not earning enough to provide for my daughter but now we get to laugh and bring with us sunshine every day. No lies, no abuse and no fake love. We only live once, forgive yourself and move forward but never forget the lesson that narc abuse taught you. That is to respect yourself to walk away from what’s hurting and destroying you. That you deserve a life of solitude, happiness and love. Hugs*** :) Additionally I got to know about my narc husband bad ways when I reach out to a private detective digitalinvestigate@gmail.com for help he did a perfect work for me I can see everything he’s doing on his device.

  • @gchang916
    @gchang916 3 місяці тому +42

    My narc mother did exactly that… using her health as bait. When I stopped responding, her health issues went away.

    • @Wayoutgurl
      @Wayoutgurl 2 місяці тому

      They do that! I just said that same thing!

    • @shareesejohnson7104
      @shareesejohnson7104 2 місяці тому +2

      Exactly!! My narc mom suggests to me that I need meds when I actually eat my fruits and vegetables as well as drink water but she doesn't do these things which is why she's on meds now! I've done everything for her as a daughter should only to be called out of my name and that is disrespectful!

    • @_Paul_N
      @_Paul_N Місяць тому

      @@shareesejohnson7104Narcs are the biggest hypocrites and will forever project themselves onto you. You need to do this and that, while they never apply those things to their lives.

  • @ronjaraubertochter971
    @ronjaraubertochter971 2 місяці тому +11

    I love how u call them "rotten individuals" 😂😂😂😂😂

  • @louisanow
    @louisanow 3 місяці тому +135

    I wish we'd all teach this to young people before they encounter narcissists. I eventually figured out some things on my own the hard way, but still, these videos have helped me so much. Thank you for making them.

    • @naowright9308
      @naowright9308 3 місяці тому +13

      I am teaching this to my children as we have some narcissistic relatives, and I want the children to be truly free. I wish someone would have taught it to me, but this is what growth is. It is for us to teach what we have learned so that others do not fall into the same pits that we have.

    • @louisanow
      @louisanow 3 місяці тому +5

      @@naowright9308 Agree, but based on the comments, narcissistic behavior is quite common, and these levels indicate a need for officially adding appropriate human behavior response/ coping measures (elementary basic psychology) to the list of adulting skills that any good public education provides for children of all ages. Bullying is both taught and learned. Humanity traditionally rewards barbaric behavior. Better behavior and higher expectations have to be taught and rewarded more.

    • @MaryAX
      @MaryAX 3 місяці тому

      ​@@naowright9308you're an amazing parent for that 🔥 keep up the excellent work

    • @MaryAX
      @MaryAX 3 місяці тому +3

      ​@@louisanowonly when we outnumber them and hold them accountable they'll be forced to hide / disengage / and cower en-masse. 😊 It will also be difficult for them to pass on their pathology, the way I see it, we are at w@ r with them.

    • @naowright9308
      @naowright9308 3 місяці тому +3

      @louisanow I sometimes teach a psychology class to homeschoolers, and I always add some points about narcissism and my experience with it. Then, I point out how to spot it in this particular point of psychology and what to expect from then.

  • @louhortonsculpture
    @louhortonsculpture 3 місяці тому +22

    Stoic works, also just being too sick to react. That’s why they really hate sick people- they are harder to manipulate

    • @Wayoutgurl
      @Wayoutgurl 2 місяці тому +5

      Interesting…🤔

  • @teresitaekim2565
    @teresitaekim2565 3 місяці тому +37

    Do a surgical cut to deplete the narcissist's ego. They will submit to you. Show them strength that no one can demolish you. That's what I did, and it worked well. If he can not take me, the door is open wide. He can find somebody else. I don't need a narcissist in my life, and I told him I lived alone before and I could live alone again. I'm capable of living on my own. It would be nice to have someone but not a narcissist.

    • @lisakowalko3222
      @lisakowalko3222 2 місяці тому +3

      In most cases if you attack a narcissist, they will exit because they can't handle a strong woman

  • @ericb8413
    @ericb8413 3 місяці тому +42

    Thank you for helping me to realize that the smear campaign is just the narcissists last effort to control and destroy. My character got assassinated really bad and I let it eat away at me. I’m going to remember that the people who deserve to be in my life will be and the rest of the trash can take themselves out.

    • @janiecepoush1904
      @janiecepoush1904 2 місяці тому +5

      Yes! It helps knowing that the ‘Smear Campaign is Actually a Victory!’
      🙏🏻🕊🍃

    • @BlackRelationshipsUncut
      @BlackRelationshipsUncut 2 місяці тому

      Yeah my family did that to me and when you live in a small town, that can affect you. I'm pretty much no contact with them and keep my business to myself. It's the only way I can move forward without everything being sabotaged.

  • @shirlspark_stardust
    @shirlspark_stardust 3 місяці тому +20

    The narcisisst has been callimg my phome since octorber last year and sends texts me silence 🔕 no respond or reply at all when married to me he didnt care at all now i dont care about that ungrateful creature no more 😊👍🏽

  • @user-qv9nw1dq2f
    @user-qv9nw1dq2f 3 місяці тому +45

    Let’s get into the powerful energy and vibration which the Truth carries and the narcisists will be shocked to their core. They will disperse exactly the way darkness disappears when confronted with the light.

  • @lizzyswiss
    @lizzyswiss 3 місяці тому +64

    This is true, and I have to co parent with a narcissist and I learned that it's just all on me now, I'm a mother and father to my children and learned to do all on my own and it's hard and everything BUT it's the best, it's better and healthier than keeping this person mixing themselves in and making a mess of everything.

    • @theangelanime1
      @theangelanime1 3 місяці тому +7

      I'm in the same nightmare, not as easy when children are involved to get out stay out. I have tried everything. I refer to myself as a solo parent not a single mother. I do everything he does nothing only make it impossible. I can't bear it.

    • @SJ-yg1bh
      @SJ-yg1bh 3 місяці тому +8

      For the over all development kids need both parents. But the narc father always keep himself away😢. When around he scolds mother for taking care of the children because he never got this much care from his parents🙁

    • @Makk6600
      @Makk6600 3 місяці тому +4

      I've been only parent to our kids for nearly 14 years. Any love my son tries to give to his mum is met with a push off, our kids know exactly who makes them feel loved and special and have said they aren't bothered if they ever see her again. To the world and her family she's the perfect mother..
      son is 13, said I love you to his mum and she called him a puffamd she's busy.. On her phone.
      With me I don't want to let go of him when he shows me affection and we are both happy and close.

    • @joseenoel8093
      @joseenoel8093 3 місяці тому +2

      Aren't you wonderful, mine went onto being my brat daughter who moved out while still a student against my wishes, he was her friend, she boycotted me a yr onto a few weeks, my husband saw it as futile but truth is he'll go against me with anyone, we both know it and I'm looking forward to letting that cat out of the bag! Least I don't tell lies or project my crazies as they do! 😊

    • @sonya23453
      @sonya23453 3 місяці тому +1

      I have been doing this since the past 25 years.

  • @doobybro1207
    @doobybro1207 3 місяці тому +20

    I watched another employee who was a covert narcissist run smear campaigns against so many other people for years! She had a regular routine and the drama just went round and round. She lived for it.

  • @annawallace3264
    @annawallace3264 3 місяці тому +16

    Narcissists feel entitled and above their family it’s so sad!! Thank you Danish for your videos of teaching about “Narcissists”. You are helping a lot of us who deal with or have dealt with Narcissists. They need boundaries.

  • @sineriafrankenstein7316
    @sineriafrankenstein7316 3 місяці тому +36

    Somehow I managed on my own (in my late 50's) to figure out a strategy to deal with my horrific narc mother. I quit giving her the reaction she was anticipating. Typically that would be a laugh, maybe a incredulous head shake or eye roll and no verbal response. The point was to convey to her that what she just said or did was ridiculous. The first time I tried it she WAS shocked!! She was going for the usual berating and arguments but instead she got laughed in her face. Took a lot of practice to react to her this way but eventually it is what saved me mentally to tolerate her until her death.

  • @franken-pattern
    @franken-pattern 3 місяці тому +41

    6:22 ...utterly savage yet 100% truthful. Danish always hits the nail on the head!

  • @theyellowshoe
    @theyellowshoe 3 місяці тому +25

    "oh I'm having a heart attack" ok I'm dialing 911! Your backtracking/better to late! I'm talking to them now.

    • @ellensunden2778
      @ellensunden2778 3 місяці тому +2

      My narc mom does this. She'll fake having a diabetic reaction or fake having fallen and not being able to get up (she's about 300lbs). When I ignore her, she miraculously gets better with no medical intervention at all! So, I've been ignoring all of her attempts to bait me (by pretending to need medical attention) for about a year now. She's really playing with fire! She hasn't even thought about the very real possibility of her having a real medical emergency and me ignoring her, thinking that she's just faking again. It's one VERY nasty trap she's playing with!

    • @Wayoutgurl
      @Wayoutgurl 2 місяці тому +2

      @@jbrown2908
      😆 I’m saying … stop playing with us!!! 😂

  • @WorthyIsTheLamb-rm4pd
    @WorthyIsTheLamb-rm4pd 2 місяці тому +13

    Yes... His last hoover attempt with me was very painful for him I'm sure because I did not play along with his evil mind games. He found out on that hoover day that I am no longer his little puppet anymore. And, I didn't even have to say a word to him. I let my actions speak very loudly for me.
    Anyway, He just popped up at my door one day out of the blue like he was going to come and visit me. Wrong!!!! He didn't get to "VISIT" with me. He got to be totally ignored by me because I never went to the door. I totally ignored him while he kept knocking and knocking and knocking on my door.
    Before he FINALLY gave up and left, he started yelling my name out loud for me to "Come to the damn door!" But, I didn't do what the little cry baby boy wanted me to do.
    His ego took a HUGE hit on that hoover day. And, after that, he's never come around me again for another dose of that medicine. That's been over 2 years ago now.
    After that, I feel very sure that he is still fuming, and he is still raging deep inside because I refused to let him feed off of me.
    The creatures hold a grudge forever. They never forgive, or forget when someone hurts their pride. And, as they age, their rage only intensifies.
    Too bad, so sad that he will never be able to have access to me EVER again! I have made sure of that. He will never see my face or hear my voice again! He can search for me everywhere, but he'll NEVER find me!

  • @kureatana5559
    @kureatana5559 Місяць тому +2

    I have a baby with a narcissist, I have been trying so hard to avoid him, I don't want to communicate with him frequently, I brought up an idea that we should sum up what he can bring for the child's welfare every month,but he has refused to have that conversation with me, he prefers i call him anytime i need financial support from him to take care of our baby.
    I'm trying so hard to heal.
    He keeps hurting me.
    My heart is bleeding, I feel like I'm living some else's life.
    I don't know what to do.
    I usually have suicidal thoughts. But anytime I think about my baby,I always have a second thought.
    He's messing with my mind.
    I'm exhausted.

  • @louisanow
    @louisanow 3 місяці тому +30

    Narcissists seem to exist in far larger numbers than I realized. I thought the first one I'd encountered was an anomaly because of the isolated state I was in. I wonder if anyone's studied that, and if there's a spectrum, because some of them seem worse than others. Currently in the US, there is so much narcissistic behavior in the public and private spaces. For instance, the once-dominant fundamentalist extremist religion here is lashing out at their targets at every opportunity, doing all they can to get any reaction at all (often w/ their video phones at the ready) in public, in and around their homes, using lights, noises, stalking behaviors (to instill fear). (My stoic skills are so useful these days. 😅) There's an old saying that fits my experience, I tend to “attract cats and crazy people”. Cats are lovely company.

    • @lc4972
      @lc4972 3 місяці тому +1

      Cats are lovely company!!!

    • @shelfuller724
      @shelfuller724 2 місяці тому +2

      Read that the ratio is 1 in 6 are narcissists. My son is with one, keeps taking the abuse because of 2 very small children. He's an alpha and I never thought he would keep taking the abuse she gives him. I can't visit anymore as an empath, the energy is overwhelming. Heartbreaking not seeing the grandchildren, but atmosphere hurts my soul.

    • @cyny6305
      @cyny6305 Місяць тому

      Tragically, they pretty much run the world. They are aggressive or passive/aggressive and they take, take take. But we find our power through our self-honesty and our integrity.

    • @cyny6305
      @cyny6305 Місяць тому

      @@shelfuller724 I'm so sorry. I'm narc mother did this to us, leaving our grandparents out in the cold. But those children will grow up and learn how to make their own decisions.And they will see their parents more clearly. I believe that they will come to you. Hugs.

  • @QueenBee-fg1iz
    @QueenBee-fg1iz 2 місяці тому +6

    Danish speaks facts here. This is exactly what my ex did to me when I caught him texting and talking another woman. When he hovered unsuccessfully 6 months after I blocked him, he started the smear campaign. His son’s mom was the one who came to me and told me what he was saying to his friends and family. I just laughed at how desperate he was to look like the good guy. She would call or text me telling me about his negative behavior towards his adult children. Found out recently that he left the new supply to be with his son’s mom. She’s all over her social media declaring her love for him. 😮 Had to block her and his kids also now. I value my peace!

  • @b8akaratn
    @b8akaratn 3 місяці тому +18

    This was all spot on and very useful. The day/night that No Contact came around for me, drinking (by the spousenarc) was part of the context; i had employed at least 3 of the 5 items you cover here, but he got irate and began throwing and breaking items. ...May EVERYONE please exercise caution if you grey rock so successfully that your narc blows up after a sixpack. The cops were called (& sadly not by me) and i won't even contact him about taxes for this year -- screw the $$, *No Contact* is *No Contact*

  • @susanfernandez5817
    @susanfernandez5817 2 місяці тому +6

    Loved it Danish. It makes me feel so good to know that whenever I ignore him and don't respond it is a victory for me after all the years of me being the loser.

  • @meri.dilkidhadkan
    @meri.dilkidhadkan 3 місяці тому +12

    Glad to say I’m not a narcissist

    • @annawallace3264
      @annawallace3264 3 місяці тому +3

      me too. But living with one since age 18 now 54 yrs of marriage (He now has Alzheimers & is in Assisted Living facility) has been awful. Now my having peace and quietness and being able to make my own decisions including what I will eat is heavenly. I watch Danish’s video to continue to learn all I can on how to deal with Narcissists.

    • @jshelley4592
      @jshelley4592 2 місяці тому +1

      ​@@annawallace3264yes it's amazing that they want to tell you what to eat and that you cook wrong. Thus Narc plows a pair of sciccors though all the meat on the plate. She eats off the fork and EXPECTS me to eat off of it too !!! Massively disgusting !!! She'll send food to work with me and " plop" going right in the garbage. I'm not her dog eating her table scraps.

  • @09kaustubh
    @09kaustubh 3 місяці тому +23

    Here's my situation. Both my parents are narcissistic. I have two siblings. I am out of their clutches. But I constantly keep feeling bad for my siblings. My mother is using them to keep them away from me. I constantly miss them. Having no family of origin is hard. I told my sister they are narcs. It didn't make any difference. I have a wife and a kid. We are happy. But it does feel quite lonely from time to time.

    • @theladyamalthea
      @theladyamalthea 3 місяці тому +2

      It IS lonely sometimes. I feel you. And it’s totally fine to grieve that and put self love and self compassion into action by acknowledging the loneliness, acknowledging that it isn’t fair, and acknowledging that we miss certain people.
      It’s just more evidence of why we need to stay No Contact though. Look at how evil they are! They turn our own siblings and children and extended family and friends against us! Never forget that bit even as you grieve.

    • @Wayoutgurl
      @Wayoutgurl 2 місяці тому +2

      Stay away and pray. That’s about all you can do sometimes. Only God can repair . And that’s if he chooses to. I understand. I understand.

    • @ZLLi661
      @ZLLi661 Місяць тому

      I can relate. As soon as mum died my covert narc older sister remember bed the mask she’d put on over 30 years ago as soon as she got engaged. She first denigrated my sick adult child, then my husband then consistently inflicted abuse and lied about me to the other abusive sibling knowing he would be abusive based on her lies. Just like how she lied to our father that I hit her after she had punched /slapped me then kicked me in the guts growing up knowing I would get belted for it every time. I was half her size and out violent abuser father would never once ask me what happened. Mum finally caught her out lying after hurting me yet again, when I was about 11 and she 14. The violent abuse started when I was 8. Mum realized then she was not only a liar but an abuser also. So my sister never attacked me /tried to attack me when Mum was home or our 2 older brothers around coz they would stop her. My bff knew she was verbally abusive coz she didn’t hide that from my friends or our younger brother. But hid her real violent sadistic vicious self from those she wanted to manipulate. And now she’s manipulating my 2 older brothers and their spouses. I don’t know if her husband whom I got along with previously knows she’s a viscous perverse abuser. It wouldn’t surprise me if she’s lied to him their whole marriage either. Going no contact to protect myself and my own family she saying I am the one torturing the whole extended family. 🤷🏽‍♀️. Just like I had to do since I was 11 to 19 and avoid her because her physical violence and verbal abuse was out of control. I’m doing that once again. Except I’m not trapped in that house where I had to barricade my bedroom door/ hide under the house/ hide in the bush/ take the dogs for a walk / hide under the house during thunderstorms after being locked out after running away from being assaulted- and having to wait until Mim got home. I now just simply live far away where the psycho can’t get at me. 👍🏼

  • @marjorienichols64
    @marjorienichols64 Місяць тому +2

    I am so sorry that you went through such abuse 💔 in your family. Not fair that you had to experience such life changing and shocking abuse on your childhood. Praying that your heart will heal, giving you comfort and peace.

  • @SunnyBeetle1922
    @SunnyBeetle1922 2 місяці тому +6

    I’m learning not to take what the narcissist said to me personally. They would be like this even if I didn’t exist. They even admitted I’m not their only target. I’m currently practicing not thinking about them as I know mine is a cyber stalker, an energy vampire and will do anything to get me to focus on them. The grey rock and stoic advice is the best ever. I think the ultimate goal is to completely stop giving a shit and not even think of them or respond at all. It’s the only way to full recovery. I’m
    Already halfway there as they are fully blocked on all social media accounts.

  • @JanHagen-rt6qi
    @JanHagen-rt6qi 3 місяці тому +34

    You’ve opened my eyes in so many ways

  • @User-vibes1523
    @User-vibes1523 3 місяці тому +22

    Your techniques helping me a lot! Thank you so much Danish 💖

  • @carparthero
    @carparthero 3 місяці тому +60

    i watch videos like this to continue to remind myself, of the types of people i don't want to have again in my life.
    cheers from southern ontario, canada 🍁

    • @joseenoel8093
      @joseenoel8093 3 місяці тому +2

      Hi again from Pointe Claire, right you are but they're all family and so you've really got to be fed up, no contact removes the family and that's how horrid they are, imagine being better off, who needs enemies!

    • @carparthero
      @carparthero 3 місяці тому

      ​@joseenoel8093 it takes a lot of strength and mental toughness to choose solitude over being around negative and toxic people, especially "friends" and family.
      most people aren't willing or able to go no-contact.
      -cheers, steven

    • @joyskye790
      @joyskye790 2 місяці тому

      Totally agree with you! I have learnt so much. The pastor, preacher, teacher type....they are the worst! In less than a year he got another supply. He lives a double life! Then he is in New York, Riverton Wyoming, Denver and then comes back to SA. Goes to Cape Town, Jhb, Port Elizabeth Now staying in a small town Wish he will move back He claims to preach the Gospel....Liar, deceiver, likes the sites where these women advertise themselves!! This man is a wolf in sheep clothing Demonic! Wonder if the different victims will ever know about each other 🙈

  • @monicarai1497
    @monicarai1497 3 місяці тому +19

    When you're surrounded by not one but plenty of narcissists ....you learn to rely only on your instincts and God. God will ALWAYS lead the way. I know their evil and they'll do ANYTHING to hurt you...but it's also true they are not the final authority on everything in life. God is. My narcissist's ALL OF THEM.. tried their hardest to keep me stuck where I was...but in the end God delivered me and my daughter. Just keep believing. No matter which religion you are....just believe in a higher power. I've found that going to church has really helped me. They are not as powerful as they pretend to be. They scare others because they are weak and scared lil children inside.I just feel ...sorry for them. That's all.

    • @ruksarharoon7278
      @ruksarharoon7278 29 днів тому

      Thank you so much for this. I have a daughter too. Although i divorced my covert narc I still have plenty of narcs in the family. Thank you for the reminder on God and church. I'm a Muslim so Allah and my 5 daily prayers. Thank you.

  • @tanyamcculloch2989
    @tanyamcculloch2989 3 місяці тому +45

    My narcissist relationship was over when i said I fear God more than you .

    • @jpr9863
      @jpr9863 3 місяці тому +1

      Why would you fear God?

    • @tanyamcculloch2989
      @tanyamcculloch2989 3 місяці тому +3

      @@jpr9863A respectful fear as child respects a good parent

    • @tanyamcculloch2989
      @tanyamcculloch2989 3 місяці тому

      @@jbrown2908A respectful fear a life saving fear

    • @tanyamcculloch2989
      @tanyamcculloch2989 3 місяці тому +2

      there is a lot of fear in narcissist relation ships and my narcissist was very competitive I did nt fear God in the why I feared my narcissist and that saved me so it was a different fear.

    • @tanyamcculloch2989
      @tanyamcculloch2989 3 місяці тому

      @@jbrown2908my x narcis was trying to make me choose between God and him also tried to get between my son and me, just could nt compete with God that was my point.

  • @Dee-mj3pu
    @Dee-mj3pu 3 місяці тому +11

    Right, don't take the bait!!

  • @carolynjaynes36
    @carolynjaynes36 3 місяці тому +7

    Thank you for helping us who are here to learn discernment of energies. Once we know, we know!

  • @geraldinebyrnes3298
    @geraldinebyrnes3298 3 місяці тому +23

    Thank you Danish your words are so wise I smiled when you explained no reaction drives them crazy They can try their smeer campaigns IM done playing their games I'm not playing their games anymore

  • @chanteynk7324
    @chanteynk7324 3 місяці тому +8

    They tried to make me come back but I blocked them after the call with them.

  • @gangGreenthumb
    @gangGreenthumb Місяць тому +1

    I made the mistake of looking through old photos. We were both so happy for a long, long time. She wasn't always manipulative, she became that way. The last couple years she changed. I don't know what happened- it was gradual and subtle. I resent the person she is today, but I miss the person she once was. I miss the person I used to be. I've changed so much that I don't recognize myself anymore.

  • @samrahahsan2337
    @samrahahsan2337 13 днів тому +1

    You deserve a Nobel prize Danish

  • @Valory08
    @Valory08 Місяць тому +1

    Am I a narcissist too? Baiting my stonewalling husband about real concerns in our family 😢 when he obviously does not care at all living away from us.

  • @magentapyramid9245
    @magentapyramid9245 2 місяці тому +3

    Thank you for your excellent advice. You are spot on with everything. I've recently had to draw a line in the sand with certain "family members." After years of "being nice" and "generous" and "accommodating" I've pulled the plug on them. Everything you say is absolutely true. The sad thing is that these cretins never realized how good they had it. I will never deal with them again. They had their chance and they've blown it. And now I will focus on my ailing health and get my affairs in order. And they won't ever see a dime from me.

  • @BlackRelationshipsUncut
    @BlackRelationshipsUncut 2 місяці тому +2

    You described the argument with my husband this morning. He operated in all these examples. I fall for it and even though I try not to engage, I keep finding myself getting into it. He sucks my energy and then when he's taken it to the fullest height, I'm done and he's satisfied. Then, the "apologizing" comes. It's the same cat and mouse dance no matter how many times I think we've grown from this.

  • @lucianom.5855
    @lucianom.5855 Місяць тому +1

    This makes sense to me. When I was originally discarded because I told her she wasn’t worth it, she said she would tell everyone that I’m a bad person and a liar. 5 years later when she found out I was having a child with someone else, she got our children against me and said I hurt them. I told her I was done with all her BS. I also, regretfully, called her out on many things and told her I was done with her an I will deal with our children on my own. She again, said she would tell everyone that I am purposely having another child just to hurt ours.

  • @Bleepbleepblorbus
    @Bleepbleepblorbus Місяць тому +1

    Something I found that works at making people stop being aggressive Is just staring straight at them.
    Don't talk, make only a few movements and and just occasionally stare at them showing a completely blank expression.

  • @nancyliu577
    @nancyliu577 2 місяці тому +3

    Thank you for your advice. Now I know how to handle my nasty sister. I suffered for a long time, and I have decided not to bother with her, I have peace now.

  • @mamabear090
    @mamabear090 2 місяці тому +3

    Coparents in this situation: communicate via text ONLY. No social media contact, no calls, no verbal attempts that will escalate and be reported inaccurately. Text and screenshot EVERYTHING. Refuse to engage any other way.
    In those texts, keep it professional, don’t take bait, and always respond like it will be read aloud in court - because it might.

    • @sleo6664
      @sleo6664 2 місяці тому

      Have a way to check on the wellbeing of your children when with the narcs & Pray for their safety when with him & his supporters.

  • @user-ln2sz6iz1y
    @user-ln2sz6iz1y 3 місяці тому +9

    All of these are 100% right you have helped me so much thank you Danish from Greece 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

  • @Elika16
    @Elika16 3 місяці тому +7

    Please make a video on relationship between a convert narc and a narc

  • @elizabethcameron6045
    @elizabethcameron6045 3 місяці тому +11

    Thank you, Danish. I appreciate all your wisdom concerning ways to move on from the narcissist. And to recognize their tricks and ploys. Man, these people suck!
    And...now subscribed!

  • @kaylaaicher3902
    @kaylaaicher3902 2 місяці тому +3

    i cant wait until he gets exactly whats coming to him

  • @Carolinekatongo
    @Carolinekatongo 2 місяці тому +3

    Best lessons for me,iam on being my own and not interested in engaging with them anymore than a greeting. It is too sickening and exhausting to the core. I do not want even favours from them.

    • @SusieBear-ji3hq
      @SusieBear-ji3hq 26 днів тому

      As i type he's in another room volume louder and i went in another room he's saying get out this is my house mimicing I'm praying he discards me i can't stand him i won't insult a 12 year old he's a nut case it's over now go.

  • @jorsetti
    @jorsetti 2 місяці тому +1

    Thank you for the work you do Danish! This video resonated with me knowing that when I kicked out the NARC GF, I did the right thing to protect myself going forward with ending the relationship by setting boundaries and going no contact and blocking her indefinitely. One and a half years later, my friends who know her told me they all see her for what she is now, Karma my friend!

  • @RaoulDukeSr
    @RaoulDukeSr 3 місяці тому +5

    At times I've wanted to play the same games/ tactics they use...smearing them...letting others know of abuse and very personal matters, playing the victim, informing everyone whom they truly are !!
    But I truly believe they shall reap what they sow, and certainly do not wish to help facilitate their karma..and thus having their karma come back to me. 🙏☀️🙏

    • @Jen-iy7lq
      @Jen-iy7lq 3 місяці тому +1

      Too often, though, they don't reap what they sow--they thrive. I've been shut down enough in my investigative work to conclude there's no such thing as karma. I used to think it was my responsibility to warn people about narcs, but it backfired as people just found my "drama" amusing. I essentially ran my own smear campaign, announcing what a bitter loser I was, which was the general interpretation of things.

  • @meri.dilkidhadkan
    @meri.dilkidhadkan 3 місяці тому +11

    They wish to eat your whole soul up

  • @CynthiaSchoenbauer
    @CynthiaSchoenbauer 3 місяці тому +7

    You are really putting words of understanding behind the phrases that we often use. I am resonating with these things more and more and can see it operating in my life. I particularly like less expressive and more declarative approach to communication. And I like that you don't ever want us to accept any blame and penance to be put on us! I am working to check out of their reality and what they want to be the understanding of what is going on.

  • @WWZenaDo
    @WWZenaDo 3 місяці тому +47

    But narcissists are problem generators, not problem solvers. That's one obvious characteristic.

    • @leighleigh8725
      @leighleigh8725 3 місяці тому

      They cause problems on purpose so they can appear suddenly as the only one who knows how to fix it

    • @angeliqueduvois
      @angeliqueduvois 2 місяці тому +2

      True never thought of it that way

    • @BlackRelationshipsUncut
      @BlackRelationshipsUncut 2 місяці тому +3

      Very true. They love picking arguments and making accusations just to get you stirred up

    • @leighleigh8725
      @leighleigh8725 2 місяці тому

      @@BlackRelationshipsUncut NO ONE SAYS NO TO THE MOLESTED BROS

    • @jimwest1629
      @jimwest1629 Місяць тому +1

      Love this.. generator!

  • @susie3382
    @susie3382 2 місяці тому +1

    It wasn't until I finally left the relationship for the last time and did loads of research etc., that I realised my ex partner is a Covert Narcissist. Being with him was like riding an emotional rollercoaster from hell.
    I walked into our relationship as a confident, happy, secure person, including being financially independent. I left that relationship feeling like half the person I was.
    After I finally left, I did start worrying about him telling lies and saying wrongful things about me to others, but no point wasting energy worrying about things out of my control.

  • @user-o6ue45hz8nr2ap
    @user-o6ue45hz8nr2ap 3 місяці тому +9

    Thank you, Danish. Thank you for making These videos

  • @frahn1702
    @frahn1702 Місяць тому +1

    In what turned out to be the final months of my 28 year marriage to my ex, one day he was verbally abusing me while I was putting his clothes away. I turned to him and calmly said “I do not accept that from you, and I will no longer tolerate you speaking to me like that”. Then I picked up my car keys and quietly left for several hours.
    He never abused me verbally again.

  • @angelrogo
    @angelrogo 2 місяці тому +1

    I used technique 3 and it freed me, and now I feel much better, but I can't help but be angry with myself for having fallen into the clutches and have unconditionally trusted on a narcissistic woman.

  • @elizabethmatula2753
    @elizabethmatula2753 Місяць тому +1

    I wish I had the strength to do these things when I was dealing with the narc! Lesson learned.

  • @corlisapattee-k.4566
    @corlisapattee-k.4566 3 місяці тому +5

    You have helped me get thru neighbors that are narc. Your wisdom got me through impossible moments. Keep sharing to keep us educated!❤

  • @i.l.9546
    @i.l.9546 8 днів тому

    Everytime he tried to provozieren me and then asked with an innocent smilenif everything is okay I always acted like being concerned about someone or something that hasnt to do with him at all, as if he just was a not significant sidenote of my life. It worked😂

  • @noelaustin4751
    @noelaustin4751 Місяць тому +1

    So true I have been a full time carer for my frail mother for 10 years. My narcissistic sister has been coming around and causing trouble stressing out mum. I have been going no contact with her but using mum to get a reaction out of me. I sent her packing, havent seen her for 3 months. All this time she has been scheming about ways to get back at me.I found out she has been going around town trying to give me a bad name putting me down saying Im not looking after mum at all, just bludging off her. She has done nothing to help out with mum in the last 10 years. The only two things she is worried about is WHEN and How much she will get.

    • @Eaglespy72gmailcom
      @Eaglespy72gmailcom Місяць тому

      Is your partner manipulative, you want to have access to their phone?google chat eaglespy72

  • @mayaros736
    @mayaros736 3 місяці тому +10

    Spot on as usual thank you Danish. Can we have a video of how much the narcissist suffers? That would be such a refreshing palate cleanser.

  • @sangeethasrinivasan7722
    @sangeethasrinivasan7722 2 місяці тому +1

    So true. We need to hear it many times that "no reaction at all times" should be the ultimate goal. Thanks Danish. I'm trying really hard to bring it into my practice but sometimes I am not able to especially that I am hard working and genuine person and the narcissistic coworker does smear campaigning and the others start questioning me if what they say is true!

  • @cleocatra9324
    @cleocatra9324 3 місяці тому +11

    That not everyone is a selfish soulless shell like they are? That some people don’t fake feelings? Yup.

  • @user-lj2fn1gb8u
    @user-lj2fn1gb8u 3 місяці тому +2

    Music to my ears 😀. Your silence is your power. Once I stopped reacting and gave narcissist near infinite silent treatment he left me alone with occasional insertion in my conversation with others. We still live in same house as we both renting and I got another narc there whom I discarded too after his blowout for spinach in the sink. I went nope 😂 never again.

  • @michaelaustin3362
    @michaelaustin3362 2 місяці тому +2

    I cant wait until she gets her Karm!!!

  • @aryandesai398
    @aryandesai398 3 місяці тому +3

    Your preaching is sainthood

  • @lauriepolden6594
    @lauriepolden6594 3 місяці тому +3

    Genuine honesty would be the first one… empathy a genuine caring for people… who have about someone that doesn’t lie there’s a real one that narcissist can’t handle someone that tells the truth. How about someone that doesn’t manipulate wow wouldn’t that be a shocker to see for a narcissist there’s a lot of them.

  • @davidalanbinder4238
    @davidalanbinder4238 2 місяці тому +1

    I highly recommend the book MIND GAMES The Dual Facets of Manipulation and Dark Psychology

  • @dv52528
    @dv52528 3 місяці тому +9

    Thank you so much.

  • @francesbernard2445
    @francesbernard2445 3 місяці тому +2

    Is it only me who feels 'shocked' easily while experiencing a low income? Today when asking about another manufacturer of lenses for my new eyeglasses I was told that they would cost $2,000.00. While constant being pressured to buy 2 pairs instead of 1 pair. I fell for it while going for the cheaper manufacturer product. Then when getting home while checking to see if another store front in this city would offer the same for less than $2,000.00 I found out that she had lied to me. Too inconvenient for me to cancel my purchase while needing a new pair of glasses. I am going to be stoic while not ever going back there again for another prescription pair of glasses. I wasn't wanting to be Germanized while deserving to pay way more. I only wanted a pair of Zeiss lighter weight lenses for a pair of glasses.

  • @bluemoonmom8297
    @bluemoonmom8297 3 місяці тому +2

    You are truly and angel sent from God. Thank you so much for validating so much pain and turmoil for so long. God bless you!

  • @fatimamohsin5226
    @fatimamohsin5226 3 місяці тому +1

    Wonderful suggestions! Tried setting boundaries ....irked the Narcy so much that it seems someone cut off their oxygen. Thank you immensely ❤

  • @emustaro
    @emustaro 3 місяці тому +2

    What a great video - especially when you DO have to have contact with the narc - that is, to keep i emotionless and detached and remember they are sick individuals who need to suck you dry. It's hard, but work at it until what they say, may make your body shake, but your soul is steady and strong and true. THAT is power.

  • @jessicamcgrane4157
    @jessicamcgrane4157 Місяць тому

    What a gift you just gave me. To say that the smear campaign currently being waged against me is an indication that I am winning- that shift in perception is huge for me. Thank you so much.

    • @Eaglespy72gmailcom
      @Eaglespy72gmailcom Місяць тому

      Is your partner manipulative, you want to have access to their phone?google chat eaglespy72

  • @ellensunden2778
    @ellensunden2778 3 місяці тому +3

    You're absolutely correct on all points! My two narcs are my parents. My narc mom will fake a diabetic reaction or fake a fall to try and get me to engage with her. With the fake diabetic reactions, when she would slump herself down on the loveseat, drool and stare with eyes wide open. Just to see what would happen if I didn't take the bait, I ignored her and left the house. When I returned later, she miraculously wasn't having one anymore! She just gave me a nasty smirk when I came in. With the fake falls, no one ever sees her falls and there is no auditory clues that she has fallen: no distressed vocalization, no crashing or booming sound of her hitting the ground (she's about 300 lbs, which is going to make A LOT of noise when she hits the floor) and no bruises from supposedly falling. My question, though, is what if she's having a REAL emergency and I mistake it for her faking again. Or what if I think it's real and call the paramedics, only for her to have another one of her impossible, miraculous recoveries when they come? I don't want to tie up an ambulance that could be going to save the life of someone with a genuine emergency. Not to mention taking her bait. But, as much as I hate my narc mom, I don't want to ignore a REAL emergency. Any and all advice would be greatly appreciated!

    • @GemmaCraft
      @GemmaCraft 3 місяці тому +2

      get her a button she can wear so she can press it when she falls down or feels a coma coming on and the ambulance can come get her.

    • @queleene84
      @queleene84 3 місяці тому +1

      I agree with getting her one of those buttons. This is not on you. She's crying wolf

    • @angeliqueduvois
      @angeliqueduvois 2 місяці тому

      Unfortunately this has been suggested and my grandmother refuses. She would rather have your poor you reaction and attention

  • @Neresdipity
    @Neresdipity 3 місяці тому +4

    9:12 😂 thank you for the laugh! Lol😂

  • @roxanneharrison3774
    @roxanneharrison3774 Місяць тому +1

    I have been binge watching your videos. You are clear and full of wisdom..and most likely from your own experience. I am glad i found your channel. It was timely.😊

  • @samiahahmad2040
    @samiahahmad2040 Місяць тому

    Thank you Danish. Sometimes one's own pain becomes a means to lighten the burden of others. May you find truth and goodness.

    • @Eaglespy72gmailcom
      @Eaglespy72gmailcom Місяць тому

      Is your partner manipulative, you want to have access to their phone?google chat eaglespy72

  • @sharnelgezwint3990
    @sharnelgezwint3990 6 днів тому

    This happened when I started my job...I would focus on my work and co-exist with him in our home..It angered him.He was irritated. He does that ignore me and kids and just work till late go shower go to bed and play games on his phone.

  • @asthasrivastav6736
    @asthasrivastav6736 3 місяці тому +5

    Powerful

  • @AmandaFord-wm1lo
    @AmandaFord-wm1lo 3 місяці тому +4

    This is 100% accurate

  • @krasheekha
    @krasheekha Місяць тому

    Smear campaigning shows a person's victory. Narcs wants to worry about your reputation. 🎉😂❤

  • @thegameoflife2131
    @thegameoflife2131 2 місяці тому

    Love your content ❤

  • @lauragoode254
    @lauragoode254 3 місяці тому +1

    Thank you ❤

  • @bethwel9996
    @bethwel9996 2 місяці тому +1

    Thank you for this 🙏🏿

  • @annshackell3197
    @annshackell3197 3 місяці тому

    Keep up the good work

  • @sandranyashashayamano2181
    @sandranyashashayamano2181 2 місяці тому

    I really needed this. It's helping me heal.

  • @Joy.1111
    @Joy.1111 2 місяці тому

    Very good video true.

  • @blackholesun5205
    @blackholesun5205 2 місяці тому +1

    Thank you Danish ❤

  • @lifetools-help8017
    @lifetools-help8017 5 днів тому

    Excellent again! thanks so much!!!

  • @karenromero9651
    @karenromero9651 3 місяці тому +2

    Another great one