It's so hard to wrap my head around. My best friend says, Sensible people cannot make sense of something that doesn't make sense. You have been removed from a table where you used to sit, in order to save you from the host who was serving you poison
I know Stbrown hopefully as more people learn about it first we won't react when provoked and then we can expose these people in court so they are no longer empowered by the family court system. -Duane
In my experience with the courts, we had 3 judges. The first was assigned the case and on his days off or whatever we got too other judges. One was totally biased toward men getting their children, and inspite of PROOF the narc is an alcoholic with proof he does drive with our daughter in the car .with open containers and drinking . Judge Bias still had our daughter stay with her father in an RV park .. in a pop up trailer .. in winter. 42 degree weather. Saying becasue the trailer had heat .. it's was ok. THIS IS NOT APPROPRIATE HOUSING by any standard. And the narc had my kid picking up trash at the RV park, and she got lice ..etc. So yeah I hear you. The first Judge- the assigned judge, saw what the Narc was, and Thank God for that. I sure prayed. So it's a mixed bag. Some judges are harsh, some are good. They are human too. But can't have a heart in the court system. Evidence. hard facts. are what win.
The courts need to understand that generally in a divorce where there are children, if there is a custody battle, especially if they notice that it is high conflict, I can guarantee that one or both are disordered. They should start automatically testing for this.
It happen tausend time every year and nobody can stop and even after you survive nobody gonna punish the person who put you in fails alligation the whole system is a big disaster
Their story will be ever changing but your truth remains the same and consistent. Their story will become unbelievably crazy and yours will remain calm.
That really is the key, you have to remain calm during all of this and give them time for their story to start to fall apart. The more you try to directly fight it (in public) the more apart of the crazy you become. Its just hard to do when you feel like they are getting away with everything. Excellent advice! -Duane
So True. And the narc never stops. Know that. no contact forever. They dont forget you and move on. They hate and hate and hate. The more success you have, the more they hate. never forget it.
I've been working on my breathing to slow down and relax and think of my happy place and the great memories that I useto love getting hugs and kisses there isnt one person in this world that can fill that aspect of my life.
Absolutely! That's what happened to me! They couldn't tell the same thing twice, ever. I even went to an attorney to sue them for slander but the attorney's assistant was the wife of another attorney who had stolen $500 from me and lost his license for a year and he had to go through narcotics treatment for a year, successfully, to get his license back. I had never met her, and she had called me on my cellphone while I was at lunch at work, to threaten my life. I out her on speakerphone and all my coworkers heard her crazy yelling screaming rant. That was in 2005. In 2011 I went to the female attorney to sue slanderers. The assistant (the woman who called to threaten me) to me to send her boss an email telling everything about the narcissist's slander against me. They went to my slanderers and *got them to hire that firm against me!* It got even more batshit crazy after that, with the female attorney's deputy sheriff husband saying he was going to pull me over and kill me then plant a gun on me. My dad went to investigate and they shot him in the head. Nobody is in prison. Every bit of what I'm saying can be proven.
"- Accept the face you are seeing and dealing with the *real person*. This is the individual they have always been but when you were in a relationship they kept the mask up to manipulate you. The mask is gone and now the monster is in full view - except only with you." THIS NEEDS TO BE ON A BILLBOARD
LOL a Billboard .. excellent idea.. but what would the billboard say ? 22 reasons you may be living with a narc ... imagine the fender benders as people read it lol. Saying HEY ! That sounds like so and so !
Good advice Kryonn, just make sure you are legal in doing it so you don't get into any trouble. If in doubt for your area consult with an attorney. I would also recommend to have a witness, that you trust, there as well. -Duane
I actually had called the police station regarding a One Voice or two party conversation being recorded they told me it is illegal without their notification but if it is a crime then you are allowed to record so record everything and if there's a crime involved then you can use it
Thank you my friend. I just found out the girl I’ve been with for a year cheated on me. I loved her more than I loved myself, and I ended up losing myself to the relationship. When I caught her in the act all she did was laugh and smirk, and it absolutely killed me. What was crazy is that she would tell me all these wonderful things, like how she wanted my children, and how she wanted to marry me and build a home with me. I keep blaming myself, but from your video I see that this was a blessing in disguise. You’re right, I deserve so much better, so thank you for putting out videos like this. It helps so much with the recommendation. Much love my friend, take care
She has now dragged kids down to police station to say I sex abuse them, use them as weapons. All because trying to just be a dad, trying to hire forensic evaluator to review evidence of parental alienation so maybe have chance to have any contact with my daughters. Its not just ex, her mom and sister are driving this ... a mentally ill cartel who for 20 yrs all they talk about is how everyone is gay or molestor. It is their nuke weapon in life
I'm a woman and my ex-boyfriend is doing this to me right now and filed a false police report and everything. Historically this does happen to men more often but it's not only men who deal with this crap!
@A Google User Thank you and yes, I see it for all kinds of people accused of crimes, I know there's many people (both men and women) in prison right now who are innocent. My case was dismissed, I have proof my ex lied I'm going to take it to the police but I don't have much faith they will do anything.
I was in disbelief at what she did to set me up. I would say, never talk to them under any circumstances. I have not spoken to my ex in almost a decade. You cannot make peace with someone who doesn't want peace. Recording doesn't help if they are making stuff up. Most of the stuff I have been accused off, I would never have thought to record. To me, the worst thing you can do is ask yourself "What did I do wrong?" There is no answer to that question, it doesn't matter, and it won't change anything now. I asked myself this over and over. It is debilitating and futile. People will ask you why she is doing it. Don't bother to try to answer this either. I just say, "You will have to ask her, I have no idea."
Hi John and welcome to the channel! I think everyone is in complete shock when this starts. You start out thinking everything will be civil and then everything falls apart. You’re right, there is no way to reconcile and have peace because they live in chaos and to do anything different will cause their illusion to fall apart. That absolutely correct, spending time beating yourself up trying to understand the irrational is an exercise in frustration. I would imagine after all this time there have been a few people to come back a validate that she was wrong - but it always seems to be after we don’t care and it doesn’t really matter anymore. Thanks for your insight and comment John! -Duane
Agreed, because they will claim they spoke to you at a different time during which you did not even talk to them and just think up something. I have witnessed how they make up stories left and right without a single shred of truth in it.
Wow I have been saying the same thing since she made false accusations about me "I kept asking what did I do wrong??" And everyone asks or say "I don't understand why would she do this" I still can't believe this is all really happening I haven't done a thing to her and she is literally as we speak trying to ruin my life
How I wish they could develop a Lie Detector that could really electrify those narcissist and re-correct the exact words in that "make up stories", in order to save the innocent.
@@CatchGrace Damien Silak (above) put his finger on it. The real damage is less what she said, and more about getting over trying to make sense of her words. The first real step toward healing was to stop trying to understand her and start asking how I can protect and isolate myself. For me, the hard part was accepting the truth (as I always "knew" there was no truth to the allegations) but couldn't believe that someone I had mistakenly trusted could be so openly malicious toward my years of selling my soul to keep the peace.
This is a horrible thing that they do. I have been accused of things from the ridiculous to the atrocious. I lost friends over this and have since come to see this as a good thing. My family has stood behind me and saw right through the lies. It can be devastating to go through this. And creates a huge amount of fear. I see that narcs rely heavily on fear tactics. At least it did with me. But it does help weed out people who are toxic. It did for me. Once again you've given great advice.
Hi Trishy - you know I think a video just on "Fear Tactics" would be a good one - I'll put that in the queue to do. Honestly if you can use this catastrophic life event to make positive changes, such as removing toxic people (and their supporters/flying monkeys) out of your life that is a really good thing! There is an adjustment period though - where you feel lonely and isolated but it's better and if gives us all the opportunity to rebuild! Thanks for the comment! -Duane
A video on fear tactics would be great. Another thing I've noticed is that most people don't understand what it's like to deal with a narcissist. I have a friend who's married to one and she's afraid to leave him. I tried explaining why to a mutual friend and she still doesn't understand. I'm wondering if you have any ideas on how to explain this situation to those who care about us but don't understand it. So many people don't get how we can be abused without being beaten. I think this is a huge problem in our culture. I can't tell you the number of times I've been told "but he didn't hit you." Does it matter? It's like saying to a gun shot victim "but you weren't stabbed." It's like mental and emotional abuse doesn't count.
I got through this one way: RECORD EVERY ENCOUNTER! Limit your actions/words to only whats necessary. Do NOT ever retaliate anything they throw at you. And if you can, always have a supporting witness who will back YOU! Most importantly and lastly, no matter what: ITS OVER WITH THIS PERSON! Accept it! Good luck and God bless.😁
I got wise and started recording her and thought I had her dead to rights. Isn't working out that way though. She found out about the recordings and made it seem to the court like that was creepy. And she lies so much that when I try to present the tapes, the court acts like they don't have the time to listen. It's a shame.
@@ceeeluvv Wow! Yeah, this post was 3 years old but still holds true today. It really sucks sometimes when it seems as if they have us "over the barrell", but if you remain civil, don't act out or stoop to their level or tactics, they eventually expose their own disordered, toxic, behaivior. I'm watching a handful of narcs in my family tree become isolated. People don't go eat with them anymore. Extended family and friends don't join them for coffee, a movie, shopping, etc. ALL narcissists repulse, reject, and push people away from them as they age. Sorry I rambled. Stay strong. Lean on God. He knows your injustice. God bless you and yours ☺💜🙏👍
My total appreciation goes to Brian hacks for helping me get over these blackmail threats. At least I did fell for it without having any single idea. Finally I got over it through the help of Brian who cleared everything from both sides
this has happened to me and i could not believe it i am still beyond traumatized and in need of help feel so Lost like I didn't think it was even possible this world we live in is crazy
My situation ended up with my father being murdered because of the malignant narcissist who had been secretly destroying me for 20 years behind my back, she got people to try to kill me. When my dad stepped in, they shot him in the head because they could. Nobody is in prison.
@@DSD Thank you. The person who destroyed my family, tried to have me killed and caused my dad's murder also destroyed a church, destroyed a dozen marriages, she literally physically tried to kill her husband after she tried to have me killed. There was a lot of blood. The reason for the attempted murder was that her husband had been having lots of sexual affairs with girls and women. He also had a long-standing sexual affair with his brother's wife since years before the girl married his brother at age 17. The affair continued, his sister-in-law's husband (his brother) was not supposed to be able to have children but they have a house full of them. The noise of the near-deadly fight was horrendous, all the neighbors were alarmed by her viciousness, beating and throwing around her husband. Her own mother, who at that time lived across the street, called the police on her but she started crying and playing the victim when the police and ambulance arrived. She cried and said she was being held in a repressive, abusive cult, with no mention of her husband's multiple affairs. The cops just went away without filing a report. Ambulance, too, after patching up her husband. The pastor called them both in to his office and kicked them both out of his church for causing so many disruptions, specifically her, for lying about his church, calling it a repressive cult. Her husband's father filed to get her children from her, to get them out of the utterly crazy atmosphere they were in. To stop him, she filed false reports that her father-in-law had raped her middle son. It wasn't true, but it was enough to keep him from getting the kids. It was hardly the first time she falsely accused people of sexual crimes, and it will not be the last time, since she has seen the power of false reports of rape and sexual harassment, the destruction it causes that gives her so much joy. She needs to be in prison. She went homeless, taking her 3 boys with her. She went to Sydney, Ohio. A black bodybuilder and personal trainer took her in to get her off the street. She thought that meant he wanted to marry her. Wrong! He only felt sorry for her. He had no idea what kind of monster he had moved into his house but he soon found out. She used his home computer to search through the online library of her former pastor's preaching to find his jugular vein... And she found it. She found a 17 minute excerpt of her former pastor preaching against interracial marriage. Given the situation she thought she was in, she thought it was the perfect revenge to go for the jugular of her pastor. She sent links to the preaching to all the Antichrist websites and UA-cam channels that she could find. They caused it to go into mainstream media, even all over the world. Even Australia, South Africa, England, Japan and Germany reported in it! She shouted with glee all over the internet that she had gotten her revenge against the pastor who dared kick her out of his church! Her "boast posts" were far and wide, very prolific, multi platform. She got her former pastor named "The most racist pastor in America." If you Google those simple words, the story still comes up now, 7 years later. She had also taken a few short little certificate classes like "life coach" and other BS, and began claiming she had 2 bachelor's degrees and was working on a third. The black guy had an "Oh Shit" moment, and told her it was time to go. He gave her some options to get her out of his house, and he moved her to Austin TX to be with some satanists and atheists that she had met online. He cleared his work schedule and drove her immediately there, dumping her off and telling her she was not allowed back at his house. While she was there in Austin, someone in my family told her that I was working my last government contract 100 miles away from where she was shacking up. So it was no surprise that I had to call my brother to tell him to tell her father that she was stalking me, 100 miles away from her love shack. She had been in the passenger seat of a white car with 3 other guys and thought it was funny to turn around behind me and folliw me. I immediately pulled over to make the call. This was in 2014 just months after she caused my dad to be murdered as he went to investigate the death threats she caused against me. Her dad called her told her he wasn't going to protect her anymore, to move as far away from me as she could get or she was surely going to be in prison. She moved to Suffolk, Virginia to move in with a Satanist who fronted a Satanist noise group called "Dark Psychotica." You just cannot make that stuff up. Look up Dark Psychotica on Facebook and UA-cam, and see the Charles Manson lookalike she has been with for going on 6 years now. She has destroyed dozens of people with zero regard for them, only thinking about herself. The carnage didn't stop when she moved to Virginia. She went to work in a place and as big and fat and ugly as she is, she filed false sexual harassment charges with the State against some male coworkers, saying they were hounding her for sex and doing inappropriate touching. To make it stick, she saw a psychiatrist, who, wasn't buying her story. So, she started saying she was going to kill herself. She was soundly shocked by being involuntary committed to a mental hospital for awhile. Not sure but I think she lost her kids for awhile. She always plays the victim in stories that have absolutely no basis in reality, those stories only getting life in her sick head. The damage she has done to me and my family is unrepairable. Many of us who used to be close to one another refuse to talk to one another anymore. And I don't give a shit. People who don't believe me don't deserve to be in my life.
I'm going through it now. Rape allegations, domestic violence, the whole bullshit. Not seen my young daughter in over a year. Got a solicitor, going through court but it still seems so one sided and my ex seems to be getting away with it. My daughter is too young to remember me so the best outcome will be supervised contact. Seems like pay to view to me. I have felt suicidal at times but not at the moment, I couldn't do that to my daughter. I'm in the UK but it seems that this is a problem in the West. Give me some happy stories to keep up my resolve to see this through.
AA it's bad all over the place - some areas are starting to recognize the lies and games and that is making it a little bit better. But it still is a nightmare and when you are in the situation you're in you starting at a huge disadvantage. The reality is she's doing this to try and break you - to get you to give up and just walk away or turn to suicide. It is just pure evil. But we end up in the LONG GAME where we have to stay focused on not today BUT where we will be years down the road. Hang in there A A it sounds like you have a game plan and are playing that long game...
My sister just got accused of the same allegations from her fiancé’s babymamma and I’m tired of these people. They have slandered her online. If she never met her fiancé she would never be in this mess!
I can totally relate to the sheer sense of betrayal you feel after having your spouse file a false police report against you. Especially when you are repeatedly re-victimized afterwards, whether mentally, financially, legally, socially, and so on.
Man I hear you Prepared Survivalist I think when you have someone close to you like that betray your trust and then do anything and everything in their power to destroy you in is a really hard to get through that. It does seem that family courts are starting to realize this is happening and making changes but i think it is going to take a long time for the ship to turn so to speak. -Duane
After my psych rotation this week I've come to the conclusion that they all do the same thing because it is a diagnosis of a mental illness and they have some of the same traits and false allegations is a big one. They always blame others. My narc blamed me as the abuser after I had "saved his life" supposedly by talking him out of suicide and convincing him to put the gun down and out of his mouth. Then he accused me of being the abuser and that he was never suicidal but was using the gun to "defend himself". It was crazy and I thought it was coming out of left field but now after my psych rotation this week in nursing school I saw several other borderlines who did the same thing and then were blaming their significant other. It's hard to defend yourself against false allegations because normal people assume that the allegations wouldn't be made unless there was some truth to it because we can't imagine people lying about those things.
Wow, that is serious gaslighting where they try to convince the court that she doesn't think you are a bad guy and that you just don't know any better. That makes you sound incompetent and like she is so smart and has it all together. That is very condescending. My narc was condescending like that "oh poor Raven, you are so delusional. You need help. You need therapy." Gag. I hate that these people are so manipulative and people believe their crap.
+Irish Jester Sorry to hear of such unacceptable conduct on her part ; It is unbelievable that a wife and mother could act this way and twist it around but then this is why we are here! We have dealt with narcisstic personalities that hurt caring people and usually as in my personal experience , hurt their own pockets and who knows the rest of it !
+Irish Jester sad Indeed Jester! My story is the other way around . he was in antidepression pills because of anxiety and he drank white wine on an empty stomach and cigarettes alot too many for a non smoked such as myself : well my ex narc. boyfriend told his family that I threw him out of the house but we reconciled ; strange how no one from his side of the family ever asked me why ? there is cheating and perpetual cheating even after he moved in with me (I guess he was happy not to pay rent and electricity and food, also received 50% of Marina fees and expenses on our sailing boat . I thought he moved in with me cause he loved me - LOL
I didn't see this before so I apologize for the delay - they are experts in presenting themselves as the calm one - it's just when you can catch them in a lie (by doing it in a calm way) THEN the mask will start to slip. Unfortunately OUR reactions give them the power they have, it's really an annoying realization! -Duane
I was arrested Sunday when I went to drop off my kids after work. I was in uniform which means I was wearing my weapon. Long story short my baby mama filed an assault charge against me in June that I wasn't even aware of and they issued a warrant without even questioning me about the alleged incident (yes that's apparently a legal thing women can do) so she called the police while I was there and told them I was hostile and armed and that I pulled my weapon on her, her mom and my kids(I had my niece with me as a witness) her mom pulled pepper spray on me and my ex reached for my weapon. I backed up and got away from them and the police showed up and Drew their weapons on me and ordered me to put my hands in the air and almost fired on me cuz I had a weapon in it's holster on me. Once they secured my weapon they informed me that I had a warrant for assault and I said no I don't. They did nothing to my ex or her mom in regards to what they did but the only reason they arrested me was due to a warrant on allegations that are not even true. They confiscated my weapon and arrested me. I lost my job because of this and the case hasn't even been filed for the assault due to lack of evidence. I am on bond with no court date set and I could be on bond for up to 2 years until the case is automatically dismissed if the case is never filed. So for 2 years I can't have my weapon due to a falsified report. I am filing slander and libel charges against her and defamation of character as well as falsifying a police report and asking for my due diligence in restitution because of what this has done to my career and namesake. It's a class A misdemeanor and the arraignment judge ordered no contact with the victim yet the order doesn't specify any victim to avoid nor does it state a time frame for the no contact order(which means until the case is filed it does not hold up over a custody agreement order). This whole thing is a giant mess and I'm working hard trying to sort it out. She set me up to be killed in front of my kids. That's how I see it. No one can convince me otherwise. It took 6 cops to arrest me and I complied completely and did not resist at all. They said because of my training and expertise with a weapon they weren't taking any chances. The looks on my kids faces having to witness their dad having 6 guns drawn on him will forever give me nightmares. I am fighting for my life trying to clear my name and make sure my kids are safe. Idk what will happen. Idk what my options are either
These comments are unbelievable. Many of us are immersed in a deep dark nightmare. It is like a horror movie. We are always tense, almost paralysed, waiting and fearing the next shock, the next murder that will come for sure. I am lucky that now I have only money to discuss with my brother. This can be done by a third person. I am seriously thinking about extrapolating no contact and moving to another continent. And pray ... pray all the time.
Yeah it really is Maura and it feels like something you won’t ever be able to escape. *Especially* when false allegations are being thrown around. It’s hard to believe that someone you *thought* you were close to would be so evil. If you can no contact can be *extremely* helpful in these situations - and moving (if possible) can help as well. I remember my father telling on the day my last child turns 18 I should quite my job, change my name, and move to the other side of the country. I’m not sure I’d ever do anything like that but I definitely understand why and what he is saying! -Duane
True Michael but since they always go that way it really waters down the accusations because it’s not always true. Honestly because of the “normal” game it makes it easier to fight. Welcome to the channel! -Duane
Thank you for mentioning this doesn't just happen with fathers. Narcs will falsely accuse any/all of their targets. I am a sibling of one vicious narc and being accused of molesting all of the narc's children! Add in narc/enabling parents and as you can imagine, I am beyond numb. Searching for help in coping led me to this video. Stay strong out there, guys! See you on the other side ✊
Truly so disturbing when you see people falsely accusing others, or getting children to lie, or grooming their children to lie as children are afraid of parents or wants to please parents.. all aspects of accusing and making up things to get own way is very sick. Those people should be charged by court systems and heavy financial fines for ruining people’s lives.
Hang in there +Boolaidd! This is a nightmare but if you can not react and make sure they do not have evidence (or perception) then most of the time you can weather the storm. It's just hard to NOT get angry when this stuff is going on. Welcome to the channel and I hope it's helpful for you! -Duane
I have pictures where she scratched my face, broke my crown on my tooth, and she jumped my locked gate , broke into my house, thru my mother's window and at the same time claims she's pregnant. She broke into my house in front if the KEEP THE PEACE officer......LMAO. Your opinion....? I never hit her.....no evidence...
Well *hopefully* you have that documented so when the court compares your story to hers they will see what the true is. Minus any evidence on either side they the court will probably ignore most of it - just make sure you don’t make any mistakes. Have you started any of the court proceedings and do you have any children with her? If not then you have a better opportunity to get away from her with minimal damage. The problem is I’m not really sure if there is a way to get out without ANY damage.
i responded to the temp restraining order yesterday and submitted a lot of evidence that i had....pictures of my face scratched up, my tooth missing...police report where she jumped my locked gate and broke into my house thru a window, being pregnant at the same time...i submitted my chiropractor reports stating that I'm no in physical condition to attack anyone. and i was charged with 243(e)(1) meaning no marks or bruises on her, but her declaration in the temp order said i slapped her in the face, hit her in the back of the head and lower neck, i scratched her breast and tried to pull off her nipple! lol I WOULD DEFINITELY HAVE A FELONY IF THAT WERE TRUE... the hearing is on tuesday for the restraining order. i feel comfortable about it. she has no proof of me being abusive to her as she stated. we have 4 daughters together and she took them as if i dont exist, but i filed for custody first and just have to get the criminal case out of the way first. WHAT DO YOU THINK SINCE I GAVE A LIL HISTORY OF MY INCIDENT?
My ex wasnt the one who made false accusations against me. My ex developed Schizophrenia at age 20, in her paranoia she tampered with the condoms to become pregnant. Shortly after our twins were born (we were not married, nor did we get married later) her friend introduced her to meth. thankfully my twins were bottle babies, since my ex never got on the milk train, as my mother and sisters call it. I came home one day, and found my ex ODed on the couch in our apartment. Thus began the battle for custody. My ex retained a lawyer at the expense of a local group who called themselves the 'Pennsylvania Women's Party'. The lawyer they hired accused me of everything from pedophilia, to zoophilia, rape to attempted murder. Even claimed i was the one supplying my ex with drugs. My personal tip to those who face such blatant lies? Hold Strong. If you are fighting to keep your kids out of a harmful situation, you do it for them, if you are just trying to better your own life and dont have kids, Stay Strong, you dont deserve to be unhappy anymore than another person does.
Hi Dream Wolf and welcome to the channel. What a nightmare scenario that you gave there. I like your advice at the end of *holding strong* though I’m sure that was much harder to do in the midst of all of this. So you didn’t say but did you ultimately prevail in your custody case or is it on going? I hope it’s finished and that you have full custody of your twins. -Duane
I did in fact win the custody battle, after moving to the state of Maine. Laws in PA made it difficult and borerline impossible for the judge there to revoke all of my ex's parental rights. I did maintain hope she would one day sober up, and my kids would get to know their mother, however this last January while high on meth, she took her own life. And it was very hard to hold strong while going through it. In truth, if it wasnt for my Twins and the amazing young lady i met while taking them to my parents place (at Comicon of all places, Nerds unite!) im not sure i could have managed. I try to help others who go through these things, and often speak at local support groups for single dads going through these kinds of battles. i also keep my eyes on laws being put forward that may help, or hinder, other men seeking an escape from abusive situations, or gain custody of their children. Laws dont get passed if the lawmakers dont think the people are behind them.
Hi Duane. hmmm false allegations... I have a friend whose ex threw herself against the radiator split her head open and called the police. Who took him away in cuffs. It happens. What you say about 'seeing the real person for what they always were' is the hardest pill to swallow, but it is true.
You know +Robert Harvey I should have talked about that in this video and that is an excellent point that people need to be aware of. Thank you for bringing that up and the comment! -Duane
terrible yet true situations. My story is only "twisted around" by the narc and thrown back to me through his lawyer. It was so ridiculous when I read his invention (obviously had nothing to say other than stupidity). I contacted my lawyer 4 times because of embezzlement (my narc had sailed away to another Marina /another contract and being co-owned witch be with supporting documents, I was stunned and feeling crazy for his conduct but when my narc finally decided to collect his mail and defend himself the only thing he could come up with was "tell patrizia that since the cooowned sIling boat Beneteau first 30' is on sale, to let me know with advance notice if she is contacted by an interested purchaser "! It was so mind fucking to read something so awkwardly silly compared to his actions to hurt me deliberately and get away with it! while taking away my Airbnb boat business too ; he also did works w/o my consent which was counterproductive and his lawyer asked me payment thereof.
It's really sad Irish Jester because if you don't understand you're dealing with a narcissistic abusive individual they can quickly turn the tables on you. So while you're trying to de-esclate the situation they can call on you - and they don't care if they see you in cuffs... -Duane
Robert Harvey in my case, he didn't care and just wanted to be left alone to do his thing ! they are not all the same but the point is that manipulative narcs are not Healthy humans!
I’m a police officer and my ex fiancé was able to place a restraining order from no history of domestic violence or abuse, she claimed I slashed her tires twice and her roommates when they both checked the cameras and it was proven not be me, also when we did break up I did show up at her job as she was leaving with her property to give back to her and I was in my police uniform because it was right before my shift, I was attempting to have a civilized conversation with her and give her her property back and she stated it wasn’t the right time for this and got mad and called her supervisor to have me leave in which I did leave and apologized to the supervisor on my way out for the big misunderstandment. She flipped that on me and said I intimidate her. I also met up with a mutual friend of ours to drop off some property at a gas station and the mutual friend decided to leave before I showed up and when I did show up to the gas station my ex fiancé showed up with her new boyfriend instead and she came out and confronted me in a peaceful matter stating she still loves me and wants to talk to me at a different time. I believed her and emailed her later that week... she turned all that on me and said I was stalking her. Hey boyfriend ended up texting her old cell phone that I have possession over and the service was disconnected and we both did share the same iTunes account so texts are possible to show up on both phones. I asked the mysterious number who is this and he claimed to be a police officer and I contacted him and he cussed me out. I thought it was still a coworker of mine or something but turned out to be one of her new boyfriends. She claimed I’m harassing her new man. Now my career is on the line and I have to go to a pfa bearing next week. I did hire a lawyer to help fight all this and I was able to pull security camera footage of me being at the gym the night of the tire slashing but I’m scared and lost. I never carry any bad intentions and she has ruined my reputation. Have any advice for me? Anyone?
I just started a new business and moved out to surprise Arizona on a 6 acre property. The girl waitressing at the place I am a member and she knew I just started my company. She acted like she needed to move in with me as the place she was staying was unsafe for her. I let her move in and after a couple weeks she was unhappy because I did not have as much money as she thought I did. (I just started my company) she started acting mean and arguing with my son a lot. I told her to be nice or I would have to make her leave. Then after I told her to pack her things she threatened to ruin me and my business if I made her leave. I laughed and said to be gone before I get home. Once I left she broke MY jar against MY wall and called the police. The next day I returned home hoping she was gone and my son came out and told me the cops had been there. I called the police station and asked if they needed to talk to me. They said they would call me back. Nope they showed up a few hours later and arrested me. Then I waited on the trial. The girl told a complete different story on stand as she told the police. She lied thru her teeth and even used the words "and so on and so forth" as part of her discription of what happened. Not only this but she wrote a letter in between telling the court I wasn't there when this happened. The court did not let me or my son take the stand, they did not hear any of my side of the story. My son (19) watched her do all of this. They didn't let him talk even tho they swore him in as a witness and then couldn't put the assault or criminal damage (of my jar) so he convicted me of "disturbing her peace"(in my living room) 20 days in jail, 1year of anger management 3 times per week, 1 year of probation and like $600 in fines. Since this I lost my home, almost gone out of business, barely getting by. I need help. Please I beg you. I don't deserve this. I was trying to help this girl. I raised my son since he was 1 years old. I have been working on my business plan for 5 years. This girl has a history of doing this to people. I am almost homeless and will be after 20 days of jail. I need to put 100% on my business for it to succeed and the courts have helped her ruin me as she promised. Steve Moose 480-800-7142Office@moosepestcontrol.comWww.facebook.com/moosepest Please read the reviews on my Facebook page. I was doing great until June 3 2016 and then I am barely hanging on. Please help me
Hi Steve, man I’m so sorry you’ve been entrapped by that. It’s also amazing to think that the criminal legal system wouldn’t even allow you to defend yourself on these allegations. Did you have an attorney working on your case or did you represent yourself? Have you thought about filing an appeal? You can appeal just about everything and that might buy you some time?
I didn’t marry my daughter’s mother and I’m still getting every bit of that trauma. Only thing I’d she hasn’t called me abusive yet, but I’m certain it’s coming. As soon as I take her to court and she realizes the court sees through her lies and fraud, she will drop tears and claim abuse. That’s the main reason I haven’t filed yet.
Coming from experience I now know that I needed to know who I was. If I knew then who I was, I would have said, I am sorry you feel that way, that's not who I am and walk away. Don't engage, this is a trap and you won't win. You are spot on. I was a fool for many years!
Great upload, I have experience being lied on , and it's so sickening people exist like this, I am considering studying abnormal psychology because this behavior is too common now.people mostly believe lies than the truth.
I’m in highschool and this morning my ex-girlfriend has accused me of rape with multiple freshmen girls. I’ve only dated 2 girls at my school and I never did anything without consent. I’m talking with my principal with what I need to do. He’s telling me to wait until next week. I feel like I don’t need to worry since I did nothing wrong, but I’m realizing how life threatening this could be for me later.
Glad it's helpful but sorry you need it! That is one nice thing about these youtube videos though, if you find something that helps you can just rewatch it as often as you need to!
Thank you. Yes " do not be alone with them" because that is when they do their manipulative BS! I did not really get this important fact until now. I really appreciate this.
Hi JF, yeah being alone with this is a dangerous move. Unfortunately you just can’t trust a person like this because they have no integrity and you never really know what they are capable until it’s too late. It is much better to protect yourself so you don’t put yourself in the position in the first place. -Duane
Thank you for acknowledging this happens to women too. I’m a woman and my ex has withheld our children from me and I’m experiencing parental alienation. have a stable home, don’t do drugs, and am a professional. This still happened to me and it’s so awful. My ex physically assaulted me and I took the blame for it. Women also experience false accusations and lose their kids. This certainly makes me less likely to assume a man is guilty when their exes alienate them or accuse them.
My son is going through this right now. She has called his boss to try getting him fired. The police questioned her about an incident where she rammed into the back of his car several times, and she turned it around to accuse him of physical abuse. She's broken into and trashed his car and apartment. And of course the smear campaign we're all familiar with. There are many more incidents. This is a full out attempt to totally destroy him. I've heard of these people, but this is my first experience up close and personal. She's a monster. Unfortunately, he's at the point where he wants to crawl in a hole and maybe it will all go away.
my sister is going through this. her ex is completely delusional. once he realized he was not going to get her back (regardless of his many, MANY attempts) & that we were pursuing a protective order against him, he ran & filed one against her claiming things that never happened. 😰
Hey guys I wish I knew about borderline/narc was before my last relationship I got charged with threats to kill and breaking restraining order I got convicted and everything when she came over I recorded her admitting everything and she locked door and got a knife and said if I dont delete she will call cops and stuff, even when I brang it to the cops they did nothing and just protect her I truely believe if you are found doing this to someone should be penalised hard, they do it so well and they are so sick like mentally ill does not cut it
Hi Vincent and welcome to the channel. First I'm not a lawyer nor able to provide legal advice the follow is just my opinion and thoughts about your situation. If she was able to get a restraining order, even temporary, then unfortunately you have to completely stay away from her even if she is coming to you because it gets very dangerous. Then if you break that order all law enforcement is going to see is that you broke the order and are in the wrong. You would need to take that video to the court and have them hear it to see what is going on but even then it's complicated. If you still have that evidence you *might* be able to appeal the judge's ruling but I'm not entirely sure how that process works. I agree with you Vincent though, when someone is found lying to have the judicial system punish another person with false evidence they should be held accountable - unfortunately it seems very typical that this just is not the case. -Duane
Thank you for making these videos. I have had an ex who has made false allegations about me to police, (saying I was following her, driving by her house, yelling abuse at her) and was then terrorising me by doing the things to me that she claimed I was doing. I felt disbelieved by police when I went to report things, and was scared for my job and employment and feared I would lose it, because to the police, it looked like we were both engaged in this behaviour, when I was not doing anything to her. Your videos really help. Hearing you aren't alone (doesn't feel good because it sucks that other people are going through it) but is validating and makes you feel like you can get through it. Thank you for making the time to help others. If you talk about this comment, please don't use my name, but you are welcome to talk about the content. x
GREAT ADVICE - you are so useful - I went to criminal court, family court and youth court - I went to Court so many times and I relate to your saying. I would add: ALWAYS HAVE A RECORDER APPLICATION on the phone - ALWAYS RECORD EVERYTHING.If you have a baby with share custody pls: FILM AND RECORD your baby before being dropped in case he will be sick / something wrong it will be used against you - as your child was sick coming from you. second pls photo the child clothes because the narc will steal them and then lie about. third be sure that if the child is sick coming back from the narc pls go to the doctor to have medical record. pls change the phone number regularly
That is really great advice KS. It's sad because most of us realize what we need to do only because we trusted the other person and fell for the trap. But doing all those things to protect yourself is crucial when dealing with one of these people. -Duane
In this situation right now. Latest false allegation of abuse by my wife happen just a week ago. She got mad (she is always mad) started to yell and call me names and then go into the house as she slammed the door shut. This is a reoccurring thing for her. But for the first time, decided to lock me out of my house. I had a key hidden for just such an occasion and was able to get back into my home immediately. Nothing was said that night or the next day because its just better to avoid conflict with her. We went to a scheduled couples counselling session a few days later, where she told the Councillor, I came towards her with a clinch fist and pretended to punch her as I made the comment "See how easy it would be to punch you?" This is what she said caused her to run into the house and lock all the doors as she was in fear of her life. I believe she does things in anger and afterwards, has to justify them, first to herself and then to others of why she locked me out of my own home. Sad part is, people believe her over me.
Jimm .. you need to start recording this. You need to start protecting yourself because she will hurt herself , get you arrested. And then you have a record. Understand ? This is the just the start. You need to get a plan to leave and move out. Im not kidding. She has dire dire plans for you. Get out while you still can.
I've tried killing myself multiple times because of false allegations.. I've been into council for my mental health & now 3yrs after I won the case in court.. The so called victim has started to ruin my life again!!
I’m so glad I watched this video as it’s put a lot of things into perspective for me. I do know the monster that I was with. I was sleeping with my worse enemy a nightmare. Thanks I love all your work you put out for people like me. My ex just won’t stop slandering me and I’m fighting a losing battle. So watching this I’m going to focus on my freedom and for all the good things I need in my life. Your awesome 😎 Regards Matrona
I am dying right now going through this with my narc husband and my 2 precious autistic babies. I am in such darkness and so alone- my narc husband is the most cruel human being on earth.
Hi Alicia and welcome to the channel! I’m sorry you’re going through this, so does that mean your husband is making false allegations against you? That’s tough and going through this with disabled children is pretty complicated. My son has CP and it’s mild and it definitely complicated things. So I’m assuming you are going through a divorce with him now then? -Duane
When you send the email or text, before sending, read it over with the lense of how could her lawyer use this against you. And assume the correspondence will be handed to the judge during the divorce trial. Remember to only include in the correspondence, as Sargeant Joe Friday stated, "Just the facts ma'am". A woman is allowed to act crazy by the court with no adverse effects for her. If a man shows any aggressive tendencies, it can be fatal to his case.
Just found this on my recommended page, and boy I'm glad I watched. I had a friend who was convinced I was sending horrible messages on UA-cam to her girlfriend and afterward started sending subtle hints that they thought it was me. I picked up on it and asked her if she was okay because I would never do such a thing, she flipped and started telling everyone she knows that I'm a traitor and her orbiters are convinced I did it too. Which is totally ridiculous since the things she REALLY said about them are so horrible and I have the receipts for all of it. If I was such a backstabber, I would've shown them the things she's said. In fact, I'm pretty sure she set it up to make it look like it was me since the way it all lined up. I could be wrong, though. An amazing quote I've heard around is when someone shows you who they really are, believe them. She's bitten me twice now with these accusations. If she slithers her way back for more fun, well, I have news for her...
ur comment about the monster they've always been, but hid... that struck me so hard. can't believe she is every bit like her mother; the woman she swears she hates and doesn't understand how she could be so intentionally hurtful.
Yeah Fed Up that is a really difficult one, when you finally see behind the mask and realize they never changed - they are always who they were - but we were just blinded by it. That was really difficult reality for me to accept and I struggled with that one for a while. -Duane
this is a real eye opener...i'm currently going through some craziness out of no where...everything that was said in this video is exactly whats going on with me right now and i really am in a dark place...i'm in a decent position but i'm just spinning on what is happening out of no where...i feel helpless and violated. it sucks ..
Thanks for mentioning that this isn't just happening with dads. I have experience with my son's father and my husband's ex as well. Both have NPD with various levels of evil in different areas. Years and years in high conflict custody battles for both of us. Thanks for your information, it's very helpful and appreciated.
Hi Tamara, yeah it isn’t an isolated thing. People do like to jump to those stereotypes but in reality a toxic narcissistic parent can be either the mom or the dad. When they are present their actions just make things as difficult and complicated as possible. It really does feel like pure evil most of the time. But once you start to understand the source of their actions and their potential disorder (because we generally never get a diagnosis) then we can take proven steps to make things better. Thanks for taking the time to comment Tamara I really appreciate it! -Duane
As men, we need to gather our knowledge and resources together to begin fighting these accusations. All it takes is a non profit, and people willing to donate for legal fees. This dynamic can be turned around by taking these issues to the Supreme Court. We can either flounder alone, or we firm a new tribe. The first order of biz is to determine not to let your kids be held over your head..
Very important video for me, thank you DSD. Especially about the reminder that they were always this person, and I was just being manipulated and acted as supply. Still working on forgiving myself for letting that happen..
It's so tough daddysgotcha and I know at first I felt that this was *because* of the influence of other people - that it wasn't *really* her. But after a while and when I took a hard look at the previous 2 decades I could see those patterns were always there. It was just that when I (and you) were a good solid source of supply there was an incentive to "pretend" with the illusions to keep you "in line". The problem is as SOON as you are no longer considered a good source of supply then the gloves come off, the mask drops, and you experience the full force of the monster behind the mask. Don't beat yourself up too much and realize that you were approaching everything as it if was real and if she really loved you. You can't beat yourself up for believing it was a lie - it isn't like they tell you what they are - they tell you *everything* you want to hear... Most people would have believed it and tried to make it work...
The worst thing you can do to a human, false allegations for intentional and various profit motives. Narcissism and sociopathic characteristics are the protagonist, the person is almost not human anymore with the cunning ability to not feel and profit out of non-truthful defamation of character, its sad and really validates the evils a human is capable of. This video gave how I view human beings, more brownie points, thank god for some good in people in the world. God Bless anyone going through this and dealing with a narcissist. Essentially this happens rarely to other people and mainly in movies, I think to myself, but wow its real.
Even if you dont answer to them at all : If they verbalize their thoughts to you it is like they are giving you this crap and tell to everybody it is your idea, your creation ...
And their reality - our fear and response empowers them even more - the more we are able to *not respond* the better we are and the less power they have. It's just to bad that it takes so long for us to learn and realize that. -Duane
I suffered physically debilitating ailments (migraine headaches, bowel irritability akin to having a ruptured appendix every day, anxiety levels that have turned me from a happy-go-lucky extrovert into an agoraphobic recluse, insomnia) from the extreme levels of stress created from dealing with my ex-wife who is and always was a brilliant covert narcissist. When we were married she played the guilt card ... since we seperated, she plays the victim card... I had no idea I was in a relationship with a Las Vegas croupier. She's told so many lies about me that she makes Pinocchio look like he's got a cute little button for a nose. In the end - I couldn't take it anymore.... So I walked away. I can only hope that one day my children (now mid-teens) will forgive me for not having the strength to fight for them. Please don't hate on me for that choice... Walk a mile in my shoes and you will know why I saw it as the only rational choice to make.
Im having the same problem with my ex wife who was having an affair with the chap that she is with now. She made aliigations of rape and that. I was arrested and in the 48 hour dvpo she had on me. I went court and got cleared from all charges. Why i was on that order she put my kids in danger and uk social services have took all 5 of my kids into care. On Monday i have a big fight for my kids and all focuse is in that.
Hi Antony sorry you've had to go through it but I'm glad to hear the DVPO was quickly cleared - sometimes those take longer. HOPEFULLY you'll be able to get custody of your kids but I know once they are in "the system" things get *really complicated.* . Do you think you'll be able to get the kids back soon? -Duane
There's an app that can record and save all your calls automatically. If you don't live in a one party consent state, you'll have to let them know up front they're being recorded.
The name is called "Call Recorder" which I downloaded for free in the Google Play store. I've had it for 7 months now and it works great! I have a CPS case open that was vindictively brought on by my narc (soon to be ex) husband after a fight HE started (I took the bait) and I originally got it for my conversations with him. Instead, it unexpectedly saved me from a few big lies from my CPS social worker, who I suspect is also some sort of controlling Cluster B.
I have the app and set it up to automatically record calls to and from any number my then divorcing wife might use like work numbers, cell, home land line, her mothers, and her attorneys office. I would also say that it's better to have a recording that technically might be considered illegal than only the lies and false allegations of your enemy. To have an audio recorded record of the truth to use to vindicate yourself among the people whose association and friendships you value and need the full support of through this difficult season of your life. Even if the recording is inadmissible as evidence in court that doesn't mean that the judge and the other parties attorney can un-hear it. They will hear and know the truth. You can't tell me that won't affect the outcome. You could also use it as a deterrent for false allegations in court and false accusations with family and friends if necessary. I reminded her that I had recorded all our conversations since the day I was informed of her filing for her divorce. I used that info as leverage in an attempt to silence her lies...when she started a seriously damaging smear campaign by openly stating to me that I had mentally and verbally abused her throughout our 25 year marriage. ..this was her pass to initiate divorce without having to seek wise Biblical counsel from the church on doing her part of what is necessary to save our marriage. Which is simple enough and it would place the burden on me to do my part. But she had already abandoned, in private with me, all manner of civility and stated her indifference after I questioned all her actions that reflected and clearly demonstrated her complete indifference and total lack of empathy. As you can see I haven't much of a shortage of words to be written describing what I went through and am still going through...this is why, for those that are still engaging in communication with their covert for various required reasons, the advice given to use email and texts is good policy, But the advice to not send the first text or email is golden. I eventually quit initiating any communication or even responding to what selective info she was required to keep me informed of in regards to our son with his school, medical, and other info required to effectively coparent in a "healthy" dysfunctional way. So I wrote pages and pages worth pf replies or requests that all turned into my journal of the details of the past major and memorable events in our relationship and it forced me to articulate my thoughts and memory of the details surrounding the things in my mind that I had not let go...bottom line write your email saying everything you want to say in the way you want to say it...but send it to yourself instead....then write the most basic indifferent communication necessary to your covert ex...I just found these videos and I like them the best because they closely describe my similar situation and the advice is very intuitive and spot on. It would have accelerated the process for me understand and begin to accept what i didn't want to believe and now know can't and couldn't have been changed. I wasted two years of my life because of my misplaced focus and energy. Still doing it, this is proof of that.
Good video. I've been falsely accused of so much evil, blatantly false claims from abusing medication, stalking, even poisoning my child last week. 3 years of false allegations and almost $80k down the drain. If you're reading this fellow Dads or even women - don't give up!!! If your co-parent is making false allegations, do whatever you need to do to vent healthy, document, document, document. Do not stoop to the same level. Take note of all the good advice in this video!!! G.L.
they are TEXTBOOK - pls refer to THE SOCIOPATH NEXTDOOR - MARTHA STOUT + PSYCHOPATH FREE - JACKSON MACKENZIE + WOMEN WHO LOVE PSYCHOPATH - SANDRA BROWN
Oh wow. I’m shocked at the effect this had on me. It’s been 6 years since I moved to Hell, and not once have I been understood. Well-meaning people tried while others flat out said I’m wrong. Three minutes into this video and I’m sobbing in relief. Not only was I understood, I was VALIDATED! Man that’s a great feeling.
Hmm I think most of mine are under that. I try to target 10-15. I think the main reason though is the misperception on the UA-cam algorithm- we’ll technically a few years ago it wasn’t. Thanks for the support T M
I lost my kids overnight due to false allegations of sex abuse (me the mother abusing both her sons)! Fast forward, I am now rebuilding a relationship with my sons as adults! This would never have happened if I didn't do the work on me, I am happier and emotionally stronger than I ever was. Being falsely accused is devastating, how your life turns out after it is your choice! I look at my experience as the wake up call I needed to live my life, not the shadow of another's life!
Oof he turned the whole story around n accuses me of the abuse. Time will tell n the truth will come out eventually. Stay strong guys n dont let it get to u!
Hi Rosie, yeah its amazing how they can turn the story around. I know how hurtful it can be when you're trying to make your peace with your experience only to find out they are accusing you of things you didn't do - or worse - things they did to you...
I'm struggling myself. I'm a 44 year old female care giver for my mentally ill mother. I love her dearly and take care of her well and fully financially support her. She has always been abusive which has unfortunately been normalized as I've never reported it and always forgave her. But now when I suggest she move into an assisted living facility, she will immediately scream and yell things like " help she's hurting me" , which usually shuts the conversation down and she gets her way. She's always made false reporting in hospitals, to cps with neighbors growing up and she raised me to think it was normal to fight with people this way. I've grown up and understand that is wrong and I've refused to participate in her reports as an adult, which has caused resentment towards me. I haven't spoken about any of this to my therapist and know I need to get away from her but it's hard. I'm thinking about getting a camera to put in my home to protect myself.
Who can you trust and what can you do when she has corrupt law officials abusing there power arressting harassing threatning and constantly helping her while knowing she is lying? If you already divorced and lost everything but are still constantly arressted for more false allegations that keep you down and you can't trust PD judge or lawyer to do whats right, or help protect your rights what can you do ?
Hi Red and welcome to the channel. That is a really complicated situation and quite honestly my recommendation in that situation is to leave. If she has been able to turn everyone against you and it's resulting in you being harassed by law enforcement and the legal system then you need a fresh start. It is absolutely wrong and you shouldn't have to go through this - but if that is the situation you find yourself it you have to take a fresh approach at the problem. The only other option would be to directly fight it through legal action but that is going to require legal representation and probably a lot of money. Some times these people are able to *win* and then we have to make the best decisions we can for ourselves. I know that isn't the answer you'd like to hear but I think these are the best options. *If others have different opinions or advice please share those with Red*. -Duane
Red Tag I am so sorry for your situation. I think the best way to handle it is to take legal action it's the only way to protect your rights and expose the corruption. It will be a long fight, but I still feel it would be worth it. It will require you to have a strong support system of friends and family and expert witnesses but it can be done. Consider having those friends and family come to court with you to be court watchers. Judges start to take notice and it hard to say you are the monster they say you are if there is a handful of men and women standing up for you. Be prepared to take it to a higher court and even make it a federal case on the grounds that your Constitutional rights are being violated. Just know that you are not alone. I hope that helps.
personally .. I would move. I would. I would leave the state if I was allowed. I would get my record expunged if I could and I would get as far away from that thing as possible.
This has happened been happening to me for past one year at work. I was up for a promotion, this new person was threatened by me rising to the same level as them. They perpetuated so many false allegations that it convinced the leadership to put my promotion on a back burner. Anyone reading this, please also educate yourself on Machiavelli principles of manipulation. This person has openly admitted to mastering them in my early conversation with them.
Wow it's Crazy listening to you it's like your talking about my relationship! honestly it's unreal thank you for making these videos they are so helpful!
this describes my two family members who has levied fake-false allegations against me i have even been beaten because of these FALSE FAKE allegations, my neck has been fractured leaving me partially paralyzed in the legs-hands. but local LEO will do nothing for me
Thats horrible Daniel - I hope you can recover from those injuries. False allegations are just horrible and oftentimes they do lead people to do some pretty horrible things as surrogates (or flying monkeys) of the liars. I hope you can get away from them and the abuse...
someone in my school falsy accused me of threats and now I'm going to have a talk with every teacher and I might get kicked and then it would be on my resumee and it would literally ruin my life
My wife if ten years best friend for 36 now did this I'm homeless she couldn't care less I bought us a home paid for both her and her mother started accusing me if theft they somehow got the police to gaslight me and put me in jail police took me out to the desert placing a gun to my head. How in the world did my Wife have the power to control even the police. I'm destroyed. Now I have official police reports backing up my Wife's false claims that I'm crazy a drug addict and violent. She had police plant evidence unless she did it. God knows. She was the absolute love if my life. I'm 52 I'm done finished no more hope she Won!
yup,my ex is doing the silent treatment, he trying to sue me for financial gifts, lawyer said do not contact him! he takes my emails out of context!... he lied to his atty. bigtime. hes evil. hes a alcoholic, his wife divorced him. his ex gf thru him out for cheating. i kicked him to the curb, because of his Addictions, and his lying infidelity.
Hi Paula C and welcome to the channel! Sometimes the silent treatment can be a blessing because the drama goes down a bit. The legal issues you're talking about keep the drama up though. I would agree with your attorney when things get like this trying to continue communication just doesn't serve us any purpose. I know I *wasted* a lot of time trying to *save money* negotiating with her. Thank you for sharing your experience! -Duane
well the lawyer said the letter from his atty is trying to scare me into paying him back nothing had been filed yet in court, im prepareing my case, it was gifts. why is he doing this. is it because i called it off. a month ago. he befriended me on facebook again .. do not get it,
Gifts? That's odd, unless he was paying support payments before he was ordered too. My ex tried that, I was paying her $3k a month and then when I was ordered to pay they were like you own more and that last two months don't count. That wasn't a fun time - I was like there is no way in hell I'm going to double pay you what I already paid you. Fortunately that all got dropped and settled. I'm still trying to recover from all of this financially I have a few more years to get out of the hole I'm in. If he's talking about things that were bought while married before separation/divorce then that's silly. Bottom line though - anyone who is toxic - even if they do not have a personality disorder - has no place in our lives. Maybe there is someone out there that they can be happy with but we need to stay away from people to take our happiness away.
well he helped me out finacially.. money gifts.. he want it all back!!!... he have nothing but women friends. he had the audacity to try to friend me on facebook! last week. see i was never married to him on live with him. after 2 yrs he comes to me saying he dont want a commitment . like wtf.! I'm over that. but he was emotionally abusive. lie all the time tell half truths.
Hi Paula - well just remain calm and let everything just play out. You already said your attorney said he's just trying to scare you so just ignore it and *try* not let it bring you down! -Duane
I finally got him out after a year, changed the locks and everything. Started talking to him again after a month had passed and he actually said "Sorry! I realize now that you werent cheating after all." I took him back. I didnt mean for him to move back in, but he did just that. 2 weeks went by & my family and friends were so mad at me, and I told them "hes actually changed. I know what you're thinking, and its hard to believe, but it's true! Hes actually trying this time, and being resonable!" But before another 2 weeks passed he was right back where we were. Now I gotta get him out---AGAIN! He has not changed.
Had a large group of hospital nurses go off on such attacks over a local musical care situation. Never dreamed of such abuse from professionals that are suppose to treat people with care. The flow of false alligations has been very damaging. Definitely a tough one.
Thank you for the video, it really helped alot, it may not be a divorce situation but my ex has taken me to the police for false accusations of harrassment and im worried im gonna do somethin wrong cuz of my explosive anger issues, thanks again
Hi Music's Edge and welcome to the channel! I'm glad the video helped, I do have a lot of subscribers that aren't divorced or have children - because narcissistic behavior follows specific patterns the abuse, results and healing processes are all very similar. Be very careful, if you are already susceptible to being triggered with your anger issues stay away from the situations. They will absolutely push your buttons to get you to react so they can use those type of allegations to retaliate. Stay safe Edge! -Duane
Dad Surviving Divorce you are someone that wants justice in the world, someone who is trying to fix the amount of hate in this world and making it more manageable, for that i respect you, i respect your videos, i respect your personal experiences which i gather is your reason for setting up your channel and i overall think with all due respect, whatever woman thought badly of you to divorce you just wasnt good enough for you and i hope you strive to become a hero the world needs right now and hope the best for your children as i can relate to having divorced parents, thank you for inspiring others to do good, you are a great man, never forget it 😊😊
That's another reason everyone should have video surveillance in their homes for personal security. Break-ins, angry partners, "friends". People, protect yourselves. I'm going through the consequences of not protecting myself right now. My landlord accused me of stealing at 2am. I didn't dovit but the cops are still investigating me for it.
Hi Alex, that is a really great question and the honest answer is you just don’t. The only recourse you *could* have is if their actions have cost you money, job, promotion or something like that. Then you’d have something to sue on but otherwise once the damage? It’s annoying but it’s true. It used to bother me in the beginning because I didn’t appreciate the lies that she and her minions were telling. I had one peer pull me aside because one of her employees came in and told her what a piece of shit I was for abandoning the family and leaving them with nothing. She knew it wasn’t true and felt bad and wanted to make sure I knew. Now keep in mind this was like three / four years AFTER the divorce and those lies were still being said. I never lost any money from it I only lost a title and that was really because of politics at work and I finally just decided I didn’t want the hassle or stress anymore. In a lot of ways it was one of the better decisions I’ve made and it ended up giving me time to do more with my children and have the flexibility to do things like this channel. So for me it’s all worked out in the end - however a few years ago I wasn’t so “happy” about all of the smears. -Duane
Three years ago angry bpd ex punished me with false allegations. Arrested in middle of night. I eventually got through it including the sting in the tail, the family court. Then when its finished the ptsd starts to kick in that this could have ever happened. The worst thing, which is what you are left with, is that this person that you loved, cared for, thought nothing of making that call to the police and then fabricated statements in the cold light of day to back up the original lie. Its the scale of betrayal that stays with you.
My neighbor & I had a minor verbal dispute about me smoking in a gangway we share in the back of are apartment building. That was a year ago, last month she went to the property manager claiming I was aggressively pounding on her door which the property manager took at face value & he put a no trespassing order against me but here's the kicker she has 2 cams on her door, this was unknown at time . So I was out back last week watching the rain come down & police come to my on accident looking for the neighbor lady, so I'm like oh shit here we go again. The police leave & I think nothing of till the next day when the county deputy comes to my door with a order of protection, so I'm like WTF it's not illegal to use my own back door I've done nothing to this person. so later that afternoon I get the no trespassing order & that when I find out that she's lied to property manager to get the no trespassing order now I'm working on get the footage of the night in question & save my self from this attack. Any tips would be appreciated.
After my mother died, my father made false allegations of elder abuse. As soon as he became sole beneficiary of her estate, he started calling the police saying I assaulted him. Three times he called to no avail,police saw it was fictional. For my own safety I fled the city but in my absence he went to a Justice of Peace and swore a Private Prosecution against me and swearing an oath that I assaulted and threatened him. Then he disinherited me. Then I was arrested and eventually went to jail all because of false allegations. Every aspect of my life has been destroyed. Career, reputation, finances, mental and physical health. And this was my blood father now thankfully deceased. The pain.
Another important thing with any legal situation is keep a diary. Write down any interactions honestly and clearly immediately after they happen. Keep them in an exercise book in a safe place. Ideally type them up at the end of the day and email them to yourself and save the emails so you have a record with dates and times on it. Those records really can made a difference. I think it's a good idea to keep a diary even if things are going well. Use a large book with plenty of space and with dates already in it. Note places you went and things you did and even some of the things you watched on TV. Note some of your feelings. Hopefully all will go well in your life, but if you get into any difficulties, being able to read over those entries is helpful. If all goes well, it's just good to read over the happy times and re-live some of them sometimes. It's not enough to just have computer records because computers can change or records get lost. It's better to have both a written and digital record.
My wife claimed I threatened her life simply because I requested she get life insurance (like I have) to protect our kids in a worse case scenario. Thankfully it was all in email. My lawyers said it was ridiculous how she twisted what I said. She also claimed I abandoned our kids but has provided no support as to why she would say such a hurtful thing. My whole life has been about providing and loving my wife and kids. Good to know I’m not the only one with a narcissistic ex wife making up stories.
Hi sorry for wat happened to you in the past I have a question for you if someone accuses you with false allegations that you have insulted her and you did not, will this affect your criminal record in the future?
He problem is the police, prosecutors and judges because at the end of the day there is no accountability for these women. The need to start spending some time in jail/prison for lying and filing false allegations, that would change the game now wouldn't it.
Brilliant advice especially about not sending messages straight away. These people have a talent to make you upset and emotionally angry. STOP - TAKE A BREAK before you reply. They will goad you.
Being falsely accused of domestic abuse is the ultimate betrayal from someone whom you trusted.
No. Being falsely accused of sexual abuse against your own child is the ULTIMATE betrayal from someone.
I’m dealing with false dv allegations but thank god not sexual abuse, that would be wild
@@matthewhaley3885 ive dealt with both and im kinda broken from it
Suzie Peaches all charged dropped now I’m just doin me life is great 👍🏻
It hurts so bad 😓😓😓
It's comforting to see I'm not alone. I feel like my whole world has been flipped. The betrayal is so hard to comprehend.
how are you doing now?
It's so hard to wrap my head around. My best friend says, Sensible people cannot make sense of something that doesn't make sense.
You have been removed from a table where you used to sit, in order to save you from the host who was serving you poison
They do all do the same thing. You would think the courts would know this. Things need to change with the courts.
I know Stbrown hopefully as more people learn about it first we won't react when provoked and then we can expose these people in court so they are no longer empowered by the family court system. -Duane
In my experience with the courts, we had 3 judges. The first was assigned the case and on his days off or whatever we got too other judges. One was totally biased toward men getting their children, and inspite of PROOF the narc is an alcoholic with proof he does drive with our daughter in the car .with open containers and drinking . Judge Bias still had our daughter stay with her father in an RV park .. in a pop up trailer .. in winter. 42 degree weather. Saying becasue the trailer had heat .. it's was ok. THIS IS NOT APPROPRIATE HOUSING by any standard. And the narc had my kid picking up trash at the RV park, and she got lice ..etc. So yeah I hear you. The first Judge- the assigned judge, saw what the Narc was, and Thank God for that. I sure prayed.
So it's a mixed bag. Some judges are harsh, some are good. They are human too. But can't have a heart in the court system. Evidence. hard facts. are what win.
The courts need to understand that generally in a divorce where there are children, if there is a custody battle, especially if they notice that it is high conflict, I can guarantee that one or both are disordered. They should start automatically testing for this.
They know...believe me they do but the courts are about making money and don't care where it comes from...
It happen tausend time every year and nobody can stop and even after you survive nobody gonna punish the person who put you in fails alligation the whole system is a big disaster
Their story will be ever changing but your truth remains the same and consistent. Their story will become unbelievably crazy and yours will remain calm.
That really is the key, you have to remain calm during all of this and give them time for their story to start to fall apart. The more you try to directly fight it (in public) the more apart of the crazy you become. Its just hard to do when you feel like they are getting away with everything. Excellent advice! -Duane
So True. And the narc never stops. Know that. no contact forever. They dont forget you and move on. They hate and hate and hate. The more success you have, the more they hate. never forget it.
I've been working on my breathing to slow down and relax and think of my happy place and the great memories that I useto love getting hugs and kisses there isnt one person in this world that can fill that aspect of my life.
DSD so true the family court systems definitely sides with these psycho women.
Absolutely! That's what happened to me! They couldn't tell the same thing twice, ever. I even went to an attorney to sue them for slander but the attorney's assistant was the wife of another attorney who had stolen $500 from me and lost his license for a year and he had to go through narcotics treatment for a year, successfully, to get his license back. I had never met her, and she had called me on my cellphone while I was at lunch at work, to threaten my life. I out her on speakerphone and all my coworkers heard her crazy yelling screaming rant. That was in 2005.
In 2011 I went to the female attorney to sue slanderers. The assistant (the woman who called to threaten me) to me to send her boss an email telling everything about the narcissist's slander against me.
They went to my slanderers and *got them to hire that firm against me!*
It got even more batshit crazy after that, with the female attorney's deputy sheriff husband saying he was going to pull me over and kill me then plant a gun on me.
My dad went to investigate and they shot him in the head. Nobody is in prison.
Every bit of what I'm saying can be proven.
The only way to protect yourself from these people is no contact and as much distance as you can get from them.
So hard when everyone enable them. Child protection for example.
You can't do that if you have children.
nothing a woodchipper can't solve. 🤣😂🤣
nothing a woodchipper can't solve. 🤣😂🤣
no one could know the mental agony that another's lies can do. it can throw your whole axis off.
I have lost my entire momentum of life, am so crushed 😢
Happening to me right now!
"- Accept the face you are seeing and dealing with the *real person*. This is the individual they have always been but when you were in a relationship they kept the mask up to manipulate you. The mask is gone and now the monster is in full view - except only with you." THIS NEEDS TO BE ON A BILLBOARD
+Pretz 5 not a bad idea!!! Welcome to the channel Pretz!
LOL a Billboard .. excellent idea.. but what would the billboard say ? 22 reasons you may be living with a narc ... imagine the fender benders as people read it lol. Saying HEY ! That sounds like so and so !
Kaotic Mimsy This is a cheerful thought to start my day, thank you!
Oh absolutely!! One of the best statements about the narc I’ve ever heard!!!
💯 Brilliant point
RECORD EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR CONVERSATIONS.
Good advice Kryonn, just make sure you are legal in doing it so you don't get into any trouble. If in doubt for your area consult with an attorney. I would also recommend to have a witness, that you trust, there as well. -Duane
Kyronn Young yes, good advice. I live in a 1 party state.
Yep!! Record and document EVERYTHING!
I actually had called the police station regarding a One Voice or two party conversation being recorded they told me it is illegal without their notification but if it is a crime then you are allowed to record so record everything and if there's a crime involved then you can use it
@Rick James same in canada its even worst
Literally happening to me right now. Glad I’m not alone, it is very difficult to deal with.
Did you recover from this? Did the truth come out?
I hope things got better for you Alexandria? I'm stuck in the thick of it right now... :(
@@markalexander3352
I can recommend you to a man who can help you with court case dismissed like he helped me
@@markalexander3352
Wh'atsap him for heIp🙏
Thank you my friend. I just found out the girl I’ve been with for a year cheated on me. I loved her more than I loved myself, and I ended up losing myself to the relationship. When I caught her in the act all she did was laugh and smirk, and it absolutely killed me. What was crazy is that she would tell me all these wonderful things, like how she wanted my children, and how she wanted to marry me and build a home with me. I keep blaming myself, but from your video I see that this was a blessing in disguise. You’re right, I deserve so much better, so thank you for putting out videos like this. It helps so much with the recommendation. Much love my friend, take care
REACH BRIAN HACKS 👇
It’s surprising most people are just getting toknow about Brian hacks now, he’s the most genius I know.
Guys. False accusations happen ALL THE TIME. THye are EPIDEMIC! It's time that we stopped ignoring them and there bad consequences
yeah it happened too me two times its so hard because im black
She has now dragged kids down to police station to say I sex abuse them, use them as weapons. All because trying to just be a dad, trying to hire forensic evaluator to review evidence of parental alienation so maybe have chance to have any contact with my daughters. Its not just ex, her mom and sister are driving this ... a mentally ill cartel who for 20 yrs all they talk about is how everyone is gay or molestor. It is their nuke weapon in life
Jesse Ward it just happened to me by a co-worker. working my way through it.
@@kurtisjohnson hope you can save your daughters from them. trying to do similar here.
I'm about to face one :(
Narsatictic rage with the thinking of "How dare they leave me, they have no right."
I mean it's insane that the man is always assumed to be the bad party.
Not always
I'm a woman and my ex-boyfriend is doing this to me right now and filed a false police report and everything. Historically this does happen to men more often but it's not only men who deal with this crap!
@@divyamishra9481 Im sorry for you hope you get out of that country
@A Google User Thank you and yes, I see it for all kinds of people accused of crimes, I know there's many people (both men and women) in prison right now who are innocent. My case was dismissed, I have proof my ex lied I'm going to take it to the police but I don't have much faith they will do anything.
Michael - How many WOMEN sexually assault, harass and abuse men? What is the percentage?
I was in disbelief at what she did to set me up. I would say, never talk to them under any circumstances. I have not spoken to my ex in almost a decade. You cannot make peace with someone who doesn't want peace.
Recording doesn't help if they are making stuff up. Most of the stuff I have been accused off, I would never have thought to record.
To me, the worst thing you can do is ask yourself "What did I do wrong?" There is no answer to that question, it doesn't matter, and it won't change anything now. I asked myself this over and over. It is debilitating and futile. People will ask you why she is doing it. Don't bother to try to answer this either. I just say, "You will have to ask her, I have no idea."
Hi John and welcome to the channel! I think everyone is in complete shock when this starts. You start out thinking everything will be civil and then everything falls apart. You’re right, there is no way to reconcile and have peace because they live in chaos and to do anything different will cause their illusion to fall apart.
That absolutely correct, spending time beating yourself up trying to understand the irrational is an exercise in frustration. I would imagine after all this time there have been a few people to come back a validate that she was wrong - but it always seems to be after we don’t care and it doesn’t really matter anymore.
Thanks for your insight and comment John! -Duane
Agreed, because they will claim they spoke to you at a different time during which you did not even talk to them and just think up something. I have witnessed how they make up stories left and right without a single shred of truth in it.
Wow I have been saying the same thing since she made false accusations about me "I kept asking what did I do wrong??" And everyone asks or say "I don't understand why would she do this" I still can't believe this is all really happening I haven't done a thing to her and she is literally as we speak trying to ruin my life
How I wish they could develop a Lie Detector that could really electrify those narcissist and re-correct the exact words in that "make up stories", in order to save the innocent.
@@CatchGrace Damien Silak (above) put his finger on it. The real damage is less what she said, and more about getting over trying to make sense of her words. The first real step toward healing was to stop trying to understand her and start asking how I can protect and isolate myself. For me, the hard part was accepting the truth (as I always "knew" there was no truth to the allegations) but couldn't believe that someone I had mistakenly trusted could be so openly malicious toward my years of selling my soul to keep the peace.
This is a horrible thing that they do. I have been accused of things from the ridiculous to the atrocious. I lost friends over this and have since come to see this as a good thing. My family has stood behind me and saw right through the lies. It can be devastating to go through this. And creates a huge amount of fear. I see that narcs rely heavily on fear tactics. At least it did with me. But it does help weed out people who are toxic. It did for me. Once again you've given great advice.
Hi Trishy - you know I think a video just on "Fear Tactics" would be a good one - I'll put that in the queue to do. Honestly if you can use this catastrophic life event to make positive changes, such as removing toxic people (and their supporters/flying monkeys) out of your life that is a really good thing! There is an adjustment period though - where you feel lonely and isolated but it's better and if gives us all the opportunity to rebuild! Thanks for the comment! -Duane
A video on fear tactics would be great. Another thing I've noticed is that most people don't understand what it's like to deal with a narcissist. I have a friend who's married to one and she's afraid to leave him. I tried explaining why to a mutual friend and she still doesn't understand. I'm wondering if you have any ideas on how to explain this situation to those who care about us but don't understand it. So many people don't get how we can be abused without being beaten. I think this is a huge problem in our culture. I can't tell you the number of times I've been told "but he didn't hit you." Does it matter? It's like saying to a gun shot victim "but you weren't stabbed." It's like mental and emotional abuse doesn't count.
People just don't really understand mental and emotional abuse. -Duane
They do, they try to go after your vulnerabilities and weak spots. But you're right, there's always a silver living involved.
They function on the use of FOG (Fear, Obligation and Guilt) - keeping the other in fear, obligation and guilt, to do their bidding.
I got through this one way: RECORD EVERY ENCOUNTER! Limit your actions/words to only whats necessary. Do NOT ever retaliate anything they throw at you. And if you can, always have a supporting witness who will back YOU! Most importantly and lastly, no matter what: ITS OVER WITH THIS PERSON! Accept it! Good luck and God bless.😁
If legal to do so...
I got wise and started recording her and thought I had her dead to rights. Isn't working out that way though. She found out about the recordings and made it seem to the court like that was creepy. And she lies so much that when I try to present the tapes, the court acts like they don't have the time to listen. It's a shame.
@@ceeeluvv Wow! Yeah, this post was 3 years old but still holds true today. It really sucks sometimes when it seems as if they have us "over the barrell", but if you remain civil, don't act out or stoop to their level or tactics, they eventually expose their own disordered, toxic, behaivior. I'm watching a handful of narcs in my family tree become isolated. People don't go eat with them anymore. Extended family and friends don't join them for coffee, a movie, shopping, etc. ALL narcissists repulse, reject, and push people away from them as they age. Sorry I rambled. Stay strong. Lean on God. He knows your injustice. God bless you and yours ☺💜🙏👍
My total appreciation goes to Brian hacks for helping me get over these blackmail threats. At least I did fell for it without having any single idea. Finally I got over it through the help of Brian who cleared everything from both sides
REACH BRIAN HACKS 👇
BRIANHACKSONLINE🎡COM THNAK YOU
It’s surprising most people are just getting toknow about Brian hacks now, he’s the most genius I know.
Your right
this has happened to me and i could not believe it i am still beyond traumatized and in need of help feel so Lost like I didn't think it was even possible this world we live in is crazy
Hope things have smoothed out, bud.
Im with you, God bless
Just think, world war 2 happened. nukes were dropped. Because humans are fucked
GOD Bless You And Yours!
My situation ended up with my father being murdered because of the malignant narcissist who had been secretly destroying me for 20 years behind my back, she got people to try to kill me. When my dad stepped in, they shot him in the head because they could. Nobody is in prison.
Wow don’t even know what to say to that Cristos... I hope you’re doing better now and out of the chaos.
@@DSD Thank you. The person who destroyed my family, tried to have me killed and caused my dad's murder also destroyed a church, destroyed a dozen marriages, she literally physically tried to kill her husband after she tried to have me killed. There was a lot of blood. The reason for the attempted murder was that her husband had been having lots of sexual affairs with girls and women. He also had a long-standing sexual affair with his brother's wife since years before the girl married his brother at age 17. The affair continued, his sister-in-law's husband (his brother) was not supposed to be able to have children but they have a house full of them.
The noise of the near-deadly fight was horrendous, all the neighbors were alarmed by her viciousness, beating and throwing around her husband. Her own mother, who at that time lived across the street, called the police on her but she started crying and playing the victim when the police and ambulance arrived. She cried and said she was being held in a repressive, abusive cult, with no mention of her husband's multiple affairs.
The cops just went away without filing a report. Ambulance, too, after patching up her husband.
The pastor called them both in to his office and kicked them both out of his church for causing so many disruptions, specifically her, for lying about his church, calling it a repressive cult.
Her husband's father filed to get her children from her, to get them out of the utterly crazy atmosphere they were in.
To stop him, she filed false reports that her father-in-law had raped her middle son.
It wasn't true, but it was enough to keep him from getting the kids. It was hardly the first time she falsely accused people of sexual crimes, and it will not be the last time, since she has seen the power of false reports of rape and sexual harassment, the destruction it causes that gives her so much joy. She needs to be in prison.
She went homeless, taking her 3 boys with her.
She went to Sydney, Ohio. A black bodybuilder and personal trainer took her in to get her off the street. She thought that meant he wanted to marry her. Wrong! He only felt sorry for her.
He had no idea what kind of monster he had moved into his house but he soon found out.
She used his home computer to search through the online library of her former pastor's preaching to find his jugular vein... And she found it.
She found a 17 minute excerpt of her former pastor preaching against interracial marriage. Given the situation she thought she was in, she thought it was the perfect revenge to go for the jugular of her pastor.
She sent links to the preaching to all the Antichrist websites and UA-cam channels that she could find.
They caused it to go into mainstream media, even all over the world. Even Australia, South Africa, England, Japan and Germany reported in it!
She shouted with glee all over the internet that she had gotten her revenge against the pastor who dared kick her out of his church! Her "boast posts" were far and wide, very prolific, multi platform.
She got her former pastor named "The most racist pastor in America." If you Google those simple words, the story still comes up now, 7 years later.
She had also taken a few short little certificate classes like "life coach" and other BS, and began claiming she had 2 bachelor's degrees and was working on a third.
The black guy had an "Oh Shit" moment, and told her it was time to go. He gave her some options to get her out of his house, and he moved her to Austin TX to be with some satanists and atheists that she had met online.
He cleared his work schedule and drove her immediately there, dumping her off and telling her she was not allowed back at his house.
While she was there in Austin, someone in my family told her that I was working my last government contract 100 miles away from where she was shacking up.
So it was no surprise that I had to call my brother to tell him to tell her father that she was stalking me, 100 miles away from her love shack. She had been in the passenger seat of a white car with 3 other guys and thought it was funny to turn around behind me and folliw me. I immediately pulled over to make the call.
This was in 2014 just months after she caused my dad to be murdered as he went to investigate the death threats she caused against me.
Her dad called her told her he wasn't going to protect her anymore, to move as far away from me as she could get or she was surely going to be in prison.
She moved to Suffolk, Virginia to move in with a Satanist who fronted a Satanist noise group called "Dark Psychotica." You just cannot make that stuff up.
Look up Dark Psychotica on Facebook and UA-cam, and see the Charles Manson lookalike she has been with for going on 6 years now.
She has destroyed dozens of people with zero regard for them, only thinking about herself. The carnage didn't stop when she moved to Virginia.
She went to work in a place and as big and fat and ugly as she is, she filed false sexual harassment charges with the State against some male coworkers, saying they were hounding her for sex and doing inappropriate touching.
To make it stick, she saw a psychiatrist, who, wasn't buying her story. So, she started saying she was going to kill herself.
She was soundly shocked by being involuntary committed to a mental hospital for awhile. Not sure but I think she lost her kids for awhile.
She always plays the victim in stories that have absolutely no basis in reality, those stories only getting life in her sick head.
The damage she has done to me and my family is unrepairable. Many of us who used to be close to one another refuse to talk to one another anymore.
And I don't give a shit. People who don't believe me don't deserve to be in my life.
😟
@@MissionaryInMexico there is no way that’s possible unless the whole police are simps
@@jackpackgaming660 You called it exactly.
Lie detector tests should be required along with legal accusations
Unfortunately lie detector tests are not accurate
They don’t work ,people can manipulate there own feelings to believe there crap
I'm going through it now. Rape allegations, domestic violence, the whole bullshit. Not seen my young daughter in over a year. Got a solicitor, going through court but it still seems so one sided and my ex seems to be getting away with it. My daughter is too young to remember me so the best outcome will be supervised contact. Seems like pay to view to me. I have felt suicidal at times but not at the moment, I couldn't do that to my daughter. I'm in the UK but it seems that this is a problem in the West. Give me some happy stories to keep up my resolve to see this through.
AA it's bad all over the place - some areas are starting to recognize the lies and games and that is making it a little bit better. But it still is a nightmare and when you are in the situation you're in you starting at a huge disadvantage. The reality is she's doing this to try and break you - to get you to give up and just walk away or turn to suicide. It is just pure evil. But we end up in the LONG GAME where we have to stay focused on not today BUT where we will be years down the road. Hang in there A A it sounds like you have a game plan and are playing that long game...
My sister just got accused of the same allegations from her fiancé’s babymamma and I’m tired of these people. They have slandered her online. If she never met her fiancé she would never be in this mess!
I'm so sorry. You are not alone. Sociopaths suck.
@@onceuponanexploration6048 Thank you for your kind words and yes, they really do.
@@ooshaunteinreallifeoo__1693 your sister deserves it because she's a woman. Duck that hoe
"You're not alone in this..." Needed to hear that tonight, brother. THANK YOU!!
Hang in there FCA! It is so tough when going through this especially when you feel like you're the only person living in the twilight zone...
How are you? I’m now going through the same thing
I can totally relate to the sheer sense of betrayal you feel after having your spouse file a false police report against you. Especially when you are repeatedly re-victimized afterwards, whether mentally, financially, legally, socially, and so on.
Man I hear you Prepared Survivalist I think when you have someone close to you like that betray your trust and then do anything and everything in their power to destroy you in is a really hard to get through that. It does seem that family courts are starting to realize this is happening and making changes but i think it is going to take a long time for the ship to turn so to speak. -Duane
Did that happen to you? :( If so, I'm so sorry. Do you have any updates?
After my psych rotation this week I've come to the conclusion that they all do the same thing because it is a diagnosis of a mental illness and they have some of the same traits and false allegations is a big one. They always blame others. My narc blamed me as the abuser after I had "saved his life" supposedly by talking him out of suicide and convincing him to put the gun down and out of his mouth. Then he accused me of being the abuser and that he was never suicidal but was using the gun to "defend himself". It was crazy and I thought it was coming out of left field but now after my psych rotation this week in nursing school I saw several other borderlines who did the same thing and then were blaming their significant other. It's hard to defend yourself against false allegations because normal people assume that the allegations wouldn't be made unless there was some truth to it because we can't imagine people lying about those things.
+RavensNewLife - very well put!
Wow, that is serious gaslighting where they try to convince the court that she doesn't think you are a bad guy and that you just don't know any better. That makes you sound incompetent and like she is so smart and has it all together. That is very condescending. My narc was condescending like that "oh poor Raven, you are so delusional. You need help. You need therapy." Gag. I hate that these people are so manipulative and people believe their crap.
+Irish Jester Sorry to hear of such unacceptable conduct on her part ; It is unbelievable that a wife and mother could act this way and twist it around but then this is why we are here! We have dealt with narcisstic personalities that hurt caring people and usually as in my personal experience , hurt their own pockets and who knows the rest of it !
+Irish Jester sad Indeed Jester! My story is the other way around . he was in antidepression pills because of anxiety and he drank white wine on an empty stomach and cigarettes alot too many for a non smoked such as myself : well my ex narc. boyfriend told his family that I threw him out of the house but we reconciled ; strange how no one from his side of the family ever asked me why ? there is cheating and perpetual cheating even after he moved in with me (I guess he was happy not to pay rent and electricity and food, also received 50% of Marina fees and expenses on our sailing boat . I thought he moved in with me cause he loved me - LOL
I didn't see this before so I apologize for the delay - they are experts in presenting themselves as the calm one - it's just when you can catch them in a lie (by doing it in a calm way) THEN the mask will start to slip. Unfortunately OUR reactions give them the power they have, it's really an annoying realization! -Duane
I was arrested Sunday when I went to drop off my kids after work. I was in uniform which means I was wearing my weapon. Long story short my baby mama filed an assault charge against me in June that I wasn't even aware of and they issued a warrant without even questioning me about the alleged incident (yes that's apparently a legal thing women can do) so she called the police while I was there and told them I was hostile and armed and that I pulled my weapon on her, her mom and my kids(I had my niece with me as a witness) her mom pulled pepper spray on me and my ex reached for my weapon. I backed up and got away from them and the police showed up and Drew their weapons on me and ordered me to put my hands in the air and almost fired on me cuz I had a weapon in it's holster on me. Once they secured my weapon they informed me that I had a warrant for assault and I said no I don't. They did nothing to my ex or her mom in regards to what they did but the only reason they arrested me was due to a warrant on allegations that are not even true. They confiscated my weapon and arrested me. I lost my job because of this and the case hasn't even been filed for the assault due to lack of evidence. I am on bond with no court date set and I could be on bond for up to 2 years until the case is automatically dismissed if the case is never filed. So for 2 years I can't have my weapon due to a falsified report. I am filing slander and libel charges against her and defamation of character as well as falsifying a police report and asking for my due diligence in restitution because of what this has done to my career and namesake. It's a class A misdemeanor and the arraignment judge ordered no contact with the victim yet the order doesn't specify any victim to avoid nor does it state a time frame for the no contact order(which means until the case is filed it does not hold up over a custody agreement order). This whole thing is a giant mess and I'm working hard trying to sort it out. She set me up to be killed in front of my kids. That's how I see it. No one can convince me otherwise. It took 6 cops to arrest me and I complied completely and did not resist at all. They said because of my training and expertise with a weapon they weren't taking any chances. The looks on my kids faces having to witness their dad having 6 guns drawn on him will forever give me nightmares. I am fighting for my life trying to clear my name and make sure my kids are safe. Idk what will happen. Idk what my options are either
Sorry this happened to you 🥲😢😢😢
These comments are unbelievable. Many of us are immersed in a deep dark nightmare. It is like a horror movie. We are always tense, almost paralysed, waiting and fearing the next shock, the next murder that will come for sure. I am lucky that now I have only money to discuss with my brother. This can be done by a third person. I am seriously thinking about extrapolating no contact and moving to another continent. And pray ... pray all the time.
Yeah it really is Maura and it feels like something you won’t ever be able to escape. *Especially* when false allegations are being thrown around. It’s hard to believe that someone you *thought* you were close to would be so evil. If you can no contact can be *extremely* helpful in these situations - and moving (if possible) can help as well. I remember my father telling on the day my last child turns 18 I should quite my job, change my name, and move to the other side of the country. I’m not sure I’d ever do anything like that but I definitely understand why and what he is saying! -Duane
No the damn mobile company gets sued big time.
Perhaps it's good I stayed single. It's inside that in divorce situations the husband is often assessed to be at fault, and worse.
True Michael but since they always go that way it really waters down the accusations because it’s not always true. Honestly because of the “normal” game it makes it easier to fight. Welcome to the channel! -Duane
I made so many mistakes when I tried to fight my accusers allegation. Raise your voice! Don't remain silent. She ruined my life.
Thank you for mentioning this doesn't just happen with fathers. Narcs will falsely accuse any/all of their targets. I am a sibling of one vicious narc and being accused of molesting all of the narc's children! Add in narc/enabling parents and as you can imagine, I am beyond numb. Searching for help in coping led me to this video. Stay strong out there, guys! See you on the other side ✊
Truly so disturbing when you see people falsely accusing others, or getting children to lie, or grooming their children to lie as children are afraid of parents or wants to please parents.. all aspects of accusing and making up things to get own way is very sick. Those people should be charged by court systems and heavy financial fines for ruining people’s lives.
nice video. I'm going thru that right now. FALSE ALLEGATIONS........
Hang in there +Boolaidd! This is a nightmare but if you can not react and make sure they do not have evidence (or perception) then most of the time you can weather the storm. It's just hard to NOT get angry when this stuff is going on. Welcome to the channel and I hope it's helpful for you! -Duane
I have pictures where she scratched my face, broke my crown on my tooth, and she jumped my locked gate , broke into my house, thru my mother's window and at the same time claims she's pregnant. She broke into my house in front if the KEEP THE PEACE officer......LMAO. Your opinion....? I never hit her.....no evidence...
Well *hopefully* you have that documented so when the court compares your story to hers they will see what the true is. Minus any evidence on either side they the court will probably ignore most of it - just make sure you don’t make any mistakes. Have you started any of the court proceedings and do you have any children with her? If not then you have a better opportunity to get away from her with minimal damage. The problem is I’m not really sure if there is a way to get out without ANY damage.
i responded to the temp restraining order yesterday and submitted a lot of evidence that i had....pictures of my face scratched up, my tooth missing...police report where she jumped my locked gate and broke into my house thru a window, being pregnant at the same time...i submitted my chiropractor reports stating that I'm no in physical condition to attack anyone. and i was charged with 243(e)(1) meaning no marks or bruises on her, but her declaration in the temp order said i slapped her in the face, hit her in the back of the head and lower neck, i scratched her breast and tried to pull off her nipple! lol I WOULD DEFINITELY HAVE A FELONY IF THAT WERE TRUE... the hearing is on tuesday for the restraining order. i feel comfortable about it. she has no proof of me being abusive to her as she stated. we have 4 daughters together and she took them as if i dont exist, but i filed for custody first and just have to get the criminal case out of the way first. WHAT DO YOU THINK SINCE I GAVE A LIL HISTORY OF MY INCIDENT?
Boolaidd me to with a restraining order on me i travel the country that not good
My ex wasnt the one who made false accusations against me.
My ex developed Schizophrenia at age 20, in her paranoia she tampered with the condoms to become pregnant. Shortly after our twins were born (we were not married, nor did we get married later) her friend introduced her to meth. thankfully my twins were bottle babies, since my ex never got on the milk train, as my mother and sisters call it.
I came home one day, and found my ex ODed on the couch in our apartment.
Thus began the battle for custody.
My ex retained a lawyer at the expense of a local group who called themselves the 'Pennsylvania Women's Party'. The lawyer they hired accused me of everything from pedophilia, to zoophilia, rape to attempted murder. Even claimed i was the one supplying my ex with drugs.
My personal tip to those who face such blatant lies?
Hold Strong. If you are fighting to keep your kids out of a harmful situation, you do it for them, if you are just trying to better your own life and dont have kids, Stay Strong, you dont deserve to be unhappy anymore than another person does.
Hi Dream Wolf and welcome to the channel. What a nightmare scenario that you gave there. I like your advice at the end of *holding strong* though I’m sure that was much harder to do in the midst of all of this. So you didn’t say but did you ultimately prevail in your custody case or is it on going? I hope it’s finished and that you have full custody of your twins. -Duane
I did in fact win the custody battle, after moving to the state of Maine. Laws in PA made it difficult and borerline impossible for the judge there to revoke all of my ex's parental rights.
I did maintain hope she would one day sober up, and my kids would get to know their mother, however this last January while high on meth, she took her own life.
And it was very hard to hold strong while going through it. In truth, if it wasnt for my Twins and the amazing young lady i met while taking them to my parents place (at Comicon of all places, Nerds unite!) im not sure i could have managed.
I try to help others who go through these things, and often speak at local support groups for single dads going through these kinds of battles. i also keep my eyes on laws being put forward that may help, or hinder, other men seeking an escape from abusive situations, or gain custody of their children.
Laws dont get passed if the lawmakers dont think the people are behind them.
Hi Duane. hmmm false allegations... I have a friend whose ex threw herself against the radiator split her head open and called the police. Who took him away in cuffs. It happens. What you say about 'seeing the real person for what they always were' is the hardest pill to swallow, but it is true.
You know +Robert Harvey I should have talked about that in this video and that is an excellent point that people need to be aware of. Thank you for bringing that up and the comment! -Duane
terrible yet true situations. My story is only "twisted around" by the narc and thrown back to me through his lawyer. It was so ridiculous when I read his invention (obviously had nothing to say other than stupidity). I contacted my lawyer 4 times because of embezzlement (my narc had sailed away to another Marina /another contract and being co-owned witch be with supporting documents, I was stunned and feeling crazy for his conduct but when my narc finally decided to collect his mail and defend himself the only thing he could come up with was "tell patrizia that since the cooowned sIling boat Beneteau first 30' is on sale, to let me know with advance notice if she is contacted by an interested purchaser "! It was so mind fucking to read something so awkwardly silly compared to his actions to hurt me deliberately and get away with it! while taking away my Airbnb boat business too ; he also did works w/o my consent which was counterproductive and his lawyer asked me payment thereof.
It's really sad Irish Jester because if you don't understand you're dealing with a narcissistic abusive individual they can quickly turn the tables on you. So while you're trying to de-esclate the situation they can call on you - and they don't care if they see you in cuffs... -Duane
In fact they want to see you in cuffs....their aim is to destroy.
Robert Harvey in my case, he didn't care and just wanted to be left alone to do his thing ! they are not all the same but the point is that manipulative narcs are not Healthy humans!
I’m a police officer and my ex fiancé was able to place a restraining order from no history of domestic violence or abuse, she claimed I slashed her tires twice and her roommates when they both checked the cameras and it was proven not be me, also when we did break up I did show up at her job as she was leaving with her property to give back to her and I was in my police uniform because it was right before my shift, I was attempting to have a civilized conversation with her and give her her property back and she stated it wasn’t the right time for this and got mad and called her supervisor to have me leave in which I did leave and apologized to the supervisor on my way out for the big misunderstandment. She flipped that on me and said I intimidate her. I also met up with a mutual friend of ours to drop off some property at a gas station and the mutual friend decided to leave before I showed up and when I did show up to the gas station my ex fiancé showed up with her new boyfriend instead and she came out and confronted me in a peaceful matter stating she still loves me and wants to talk to me at a different time. I believed her and emailed her later that week... she turned all that on me and said I was stalking her. Hey boyfriend ended up texting her old cell phone that I have possession over and the service was disconnected and we both did share the same iTunes account so texts are possible to show up on both phones. I asked the mysterious number who is this and he claimed to be a police officer and I contacted him and he cussed me out. I thought it was still a coworker of mine or something but turned out to be one of her new boyfriends. She claimed I’m harassing her new man. Now my career is on the line and I have to go to a pfa bearing next week. I did hire a lawyer to help fight all this and I was able to pull security camera footage of me being at the gym the night of the tire slashing but I’m scared and lost. I never carry any bad intentions and she has ruined my reputation. Have any advice for me? Anyone?
I just started a new business and moved out to surprise Arizona on a 6 acre property. The girl waitressing at the place I am a member and she knew I just started my company. She acted like she needed to move in with me as the place she was staying was unsafe for her. I let her move in and after a couple weeks she was unhappy because I did not have as much money as she thought I did. (I just started my company) she started acting mean and arguing with my son a lot. I told her to be nice or I would have to make her leave. Then after I told her to pack her things she threatened to ruin me and my business if I made her leave. I laughed and said to be gone before I get home. Once I left she broke MY jar against MY wall and called the police. The next day I returned home hoping she was gone and my son came out and told me the cops had been there. I called the police station and asked if they needed to talk to me. They said they would call me back. Nope they showed up a few hours later and arrested me. Then I waited on the trial. The girl told a complete different story on stand as she told the police. She lied thru her teeth and even used the words "and so on and so forth" as part of her discription of what happened. Not only this but she wrote a letter in between telling the court I wasn't there when this happened. The court did not let me or my son take the stand, they did not hear any of my side of the story. My son (19) watched her do all of this. They didn't let him talk even tho they swore him in as a witness and then couldn't put the assault or criminal damage (of my jar) so he convicted me of "disturbing her peace"(in my living room) 20 days in jail, 1year of anger management 3 times per week, 1 year of probation and like $600 in fines. Since this I lost my home, almost gone out of business, barely getting by. I need help. Please I beg you. I don't deserve this. I was trying to help this girl. I raised my son since he was 1 years old. I have been working on my business plan for 5 years. This girl has a history of doing this to people. I am almost homeless and will be after 20 days of jail. I need to put 100% on my business for it to succeed and the courts have helped her ruin me as she promised. Steve Moose 480-800-7142Office@moosepestcontrol.comWww.facebook.com/moosepest Please read the reviews on my Facebook page. I was doing great until June 3 2016 and then I am barely hanging on. Please help me
Hi Steve, man I’m so sorry you’ve been entrapped by that. It’s also amazing to think that the criminal legal system wouldn’t even allow you to defend yourself on these allegations. Did you have an attorney working on your case or did you represent yourself? Have you thought about filing an appeal? You can appeal just about everything and that might buy you some time?
How to protect yourself: DON’T GET MARRIED!!
I didn’t marry my daughter’s mother and I’m still getting every bit of that trauma. Only thing I’d she hasn’t called me abusive yet, but I’m certain it’s coming. As soon as I take her to court and she realizes the court sees through her lies and fraud, she will drop tears and claim abuse. That’s the main reason I haven’t filed yet.
Sometimes the culprit is NOT a spouse!
It is my husband's baby mama and their 17 year old son that is making false allegations.
it is my own father who places all his insecuritys on to me and claiming im a child abuser!
Can still happen even without marriage. Even casual dating relationships have this situation of false allegations occur sometimes.
Coming from experience I now know that I needed to know who I was. If I knew then who I was, I would have said, I am sorry you feel that way, that's not who I am and walk away. Don't engage, this is a trap and you won't win. You are spot on. I was a fool for many years!
100% right. The true person comes out and you struggle to understand how someone can be so cruel when you have had kids together and once loved them.
Blocking numbers sends a strong message to the culprits.
Oh my gosh, that is so cruel. Be kind always. You need to have empathy about others feelings 😢❤
Great upload, I have experience being lied on , and it's so sickening people exist like this, I am considering studying abnormal psychology because this behavior is too common now.people mostly believe lies than the truth.
I’m in highschool and this morning my ex-girlfriend has accused me of rape with multiple freshmen girls. I’ve only dated 2 girls at my school and I never did anything without consent. I’m talking with my principal with what I need to do. He’s telling me to wait until next week. I feel like I don’t need to worry since I did nothing wrong, but I’m realizing how life threatening this could be for me later.
One of those girls I dated was not my girlfriend so we obviously didn’t have sex at all.
This is exactly what is going on in my life, I'm glad I found this information here
How did it go?
I keep coming back to this video when I need to focus on what's important. Thank you.
Glad it's helpful but sorry you need it! That is one nice thing about these youtube videos though, if you find something that helps you can just rewatch it as often as you need to!
Thank you. Yes " do not be alone with them" because that is when they do their manipulative BS! I did not really get this important fact until now. I really appreciate this.
Hi JF, yeah being alone with this is a dangerous move. Unfortunately you just can’t trust a person like this because they have no integrity and you never really know what they are capable until it’s too late. It is much better to protect yourself so you don’t put yourself in the position in the first place. -Duane
Thank you for acknowledging this happens to women too. I’m a woman and my ex has withheld our children from me and I’m experiencing parental alienation. have a stable home, don’t do drugs, and am a professional. This still happened to me and it’s so awful. My ex physically assaulted me and I took the blame for it. Women also experience false accusations and lose their kids. This certainly makes me less likely to assume a man is guilty when their exes alienate them or accuse them.
My experiences have made me not even want to date anymore for fear that she will make something up. It’s getting tough out there fellas
My son is going through this right now. She has called his boss to try getting him fired. The police questioned her about an incident where she rammed into the back of his car several times, and she turned it around to accuse him of physical abuse. She's broken into and trashed his car and apartment. And of course the smear campaign we're all familiar with. There are many more incidents. This is a full out attempt to totally destroy him. I've heard of these people, but this is my first experience up close and personal. She's a monster. Unfortunately, he's at the point where he wants to crawl in a hole and maybe it will all go away.
my sister is going through this. her ex is completely delusional. once he realized he was not going to get her back (regardless of his many, MANY attempts) & that we were pursuing a protective order against him, he ran & filed one against her claiming things that never happened. 😰
Hey guys I wish I knew about borderline/narc was before my last relationship I got charged with threats to kill and breaking restraining order I got convicted and everything when she came over I recorded her admitting everything and she locked door and got a knife and said if I dont delete she will call cops and stuff, even when I brang it to the cops they did nothing and just protect her I truely believe if you are found doing this to someone should be penalised hard, they do it so well and they are so sick like mentally ill does not cut it
Hi Vincent and welcome to the channel. First I'm not a lawyer nor able to provide legal advice the follow is just my opinion and thoughts about your situation. If she was able to get a restraining order, even temporary, then unfortunately you have to completely stay away from her even if she is coming to you because it gets very dangerous. Then if you break that order all law enforcement is going to see is that you broke the order and are in the wrong. You would need to take that video to the court and have them hear it to see what is going on but even then it's complicated. If you still have that evidence you *might* be able to appeal the judge's ruling but I'm not entirely sure how that process works. I agree with you Vincent though, when someone is found lying to have the judicial system punish another person with false evidence they should be held accountable - unfortunately it seems very typical that this just is not the case. -Duane
Vincent S not all women are like that. Just like not all men are bad.
True Jan, just takes a while to trust again.
Thank you for making these videos. I have had an ex who has made false allegations about me to police, (saying I was following her, driving by her house, yelling abuse at her) and was then terrorising me by doing the things to me that she claimed I was doing. I felt disbelieved by police when I went to report things, and was scared for my job and employment and feared I would lose it, because to the police, it looked like we were both engaged in this behaviour, when I was not doing anything to her.
Your videos really help. Hearing you aren't alone (doesn't feel good because it sucks that other people are going through it) but is validating and makes you feel like you can get through it.
Thank you for making the time to help others. If you talk about this comment, please don't use my name, but you are welcome to talk about the content. x
GREAT ADVICE - you are so useful - I went to criminal court, family court and youth court - I went to Court so many times and I relate to your saying. I would add: ALWAYS HAVE A RECORDER APPLICATION on the phone - ALWAYS RECORD EVERYTHING.If you have a baby with share custody pls: FILM AND RECORD your baby before being dropped in case he will be sick / something wrong it will be used against you - as your child was sick coming from you. second pls photo the child clothes because the narc will steal them and then lie about. third be sure that if the child is sick coming back from the narc pls go to the doctor to have medical record. pls change the phone number regularly
That is really great advice KS. It's sad because most of us realize what we need to do only because we trusted the other person and fell for the trap. But doing all those things to protect yourself is crucial when dealing with one of these people. -Duane
In this situation right now. Latest false allegation of abuse by my wife happen just a week ago. She got mad (she is always mad) started to yell and call me names and then go into the house as she slammed the door shut. This is a reoccurring thing for her. But for the first time, decided to lock me out of my house. I had a key hidden for just such an occasion and was able to get back into my home immediately. Nothing was said that night or the next day because its just better to avoid conflict with her. We went to a scheduled couples counselling session a few days later, where she told the Councillor, I came towards her with a clinch fist and pretended to punch her as I made the comment "See how easy it would be to punch you?" This is what she said caused her to run into the house and lock all the doors as she was in fear of her life. I believe she does things in anger and afterwards, has to justify them, first to herself and then to others of why she locked me out of my own home. Sad part is, people believe her over me.
Jimm .. you need to start recording this. You need to start protecting yourself because she will hurt herself , get you arrested. And then you have a record. Understand ? This is the just the start. You need to get a plan to leave and move out. Im not kidding. She has dire dire plans for you. Get out while you still can.
She sounds bipolar. Watch out
This happened to me, After 5 years of getting the help I needed, I am now doing much better!
Thanks for the videos. Going through this now. Cost me everything I had saved for our son. It's horrible!!!!
I've tried killing myself multiple times because of false allegations.. I've been into council for my mental health & now 3yrs after I won the case in court.. The so called victim has started to ruin my life again!!
I’m so glad I watched this video as it’s put a lot of things into perspective for me. I do know the monster that I was with. I was sleeping with my worse enemy a nightmare. Thanks I love all your work you put out for people like me. My ex just won’t stop slandering me and I’m fighting a losing battle. So watching this I’m going to focus on my freedom and for all the good things I need in my life. Your awesome 😎 Regards Matrona
I am dying right now going through this with my narc husband and my 2 precious autistic babies. I am in such darkness and so alone- my narc husband is the most cruel human being on earth.
Hi Alicia and welcome to the channel! I’m sorry you’re going through this, so does that mean your husband is making false allegations against you? That’s tough and going through this with disabled children is pretty complicated. My son has CP and it’s mild and it definitely complicated things. So I’m assuming you are going through a divorce with him now then? -Duane
When you send the email or text, before sending, read it over with the lense of how could her lawyer use this against you. And assume the correspondence will be handed to the judge during the divorce trial. Remember to only include in the correspondence, as Sargeant Joe Friday stated, "Just the facts ma'am". A woman is allowed to act crazy by the court with no adverse effects for her. If a man shows any aggressive tendencies, it can be fatal to his case.
Just found this on my recommended page, and boy I'm glad I watched. I had a friend who was convinced I was sending horrible messages on UA-cam to her girlfriend and afterward started sending subtle hints that they thought it was me. I picked up on it and asked her if she was okay because I would never do such a thing, she flipped and started telling everyone she knows that I'm a traitor and her orbiters are convinced I did it too. Which is totally ridiculous since the things she REALLY said about them are so horrible and I have the receipts for all of it. If I was such a backstabber, I would've shown them the things she's said. In fact, I'm pretty sure she set it up to make it look like it was me since the way it all lined up. I could be wrong, though.
An amazing quote I've heard around is when someone shows you who they really are, believe them. She's bitten me twice now with these accusations. If she slithers her way back for more fun, well, I have news for her...
ur comment about the monster they've always been, but hid... that struck me so hard. can't believe she is every bit like her mother; the woman she swears she hates and doesn't understand how she could be so intentionally hurtful.
Yeah Fed Up that is a really difficult one, when you finally see behind the mask and realize they never changed - they are always who they were - but we were just blinded by it. That was really difficult reality for me to accept and I struggled with that one for a while. -Duane
wish i could give this 1000 likes!
this is a real eye opener...i'm currently going through some craziness out of no where...everything that was said in this video is exactly whats going on with me right now and i really am in a dark place...i'm in a decent position but i'm just spinning on what is happening out of no where...i feel helpless and violated. it sucks ..
Thanks for mentioning that this isn't just happening with dads. I have experience with my son's father and my husband's ex as well. Both have NPD with various levels of evil in different areas. Years and years in high conflict custody battles for both of us. Thanks for your information, it's very helpful and appreciated.
Hi Tamara, yeah it isn’t an isolated thing. People do like to jump to those stereotypes but in reality a toxic narcissistic parent can be either the mom or the dad. When they are present their actions just make things as difficult and complicated as possible. It really does feel like pure evil most of the time. But once you start to understand the source of their actions and their potential disorder (because we generally never get a diagnosis) then we can take proven steps to make things better. Thanks for taking the time to comment Tamara I really appreciate it! -Duane
Amazing you found one another. I don't know if I can ever trust again. But still in the courts right now so we will see.
As men, we need to gather our knowledge and resources together to begin fighting these accusations. All it takes is a non profit, and people willing to donate for legal fees. This dynamic can be turned around by taking these issues to the Supreme Court. We can either flounder alone, or we firm a new tribe. The first order of biz is to determine not to let your kids be held over your head..
Very important video for me, thank you DSD. Especially about the reminder that they were always this person, and I was just being manipulated and acted as supply. Still working on forgiving myself for letting that happen..
It's so tough daddysgotcha and I know at first I felt that this was *because* of the influence of other people - that it wasn't *really* her. But after a while and when I took a hard look at the previous 2 decades I could see those patterns were always there. It was just that when I (and you) were a good solid source of supply there was an incentive to "pretend" with the illusions to keep you "in line". The problem is as SOON as you are no longer considered a good source of supply then the gloves come off, the mask drops, and you experience the full force of the monster behind the mask. Don't beat yourself up too much and realize that you were approaching everything as it if was real and if she really loved you. You can't beat yourself up for believing it was a lie - it isn't like they tell you what they are - they tell you *everything* you want to hear... Most people would have believed it and tried to make it work...
The worst thing you can do to a human, false allegations for intentional and various profit motives. Narcissism and sociopathic characteristics are the protagonist, the person is almost not human anymore with the cunning ability to not feel and profit out of non-truthful defamation of character, its sad and really validates the evils a human is capable of. This video gave how I view human beings, more brownie points, thank god for some good in people in the world. God Bless anyone going through this and dealing with a narcissist. Essentially this happens rarely to other people and mainly in movies, I think to myself, but wow its real.
Even if you dont answer to them at all : If they verbalize their thoughts to you it is like they are giving you this crap and tell to everybody it is your idea, your creation ...
And their reality - our fear and response empowers them even more - the more we are able to *not respond* the better we are and the less power they have. It's just to bad that it takes so long for us to learn and realize that. -Duane
I suffered physically debilitating ailments (migraine headaches, bowel irritability akin to having a ruptured appendix every day, anxiety levels that have turned me from a happy-go-lucky extrovert into an agoraphobic recluse, insomnia) from the extreme levels of stress created from dealing with my ex-wife who is and always was a brilliant covert narcissist. When we were married she played the guilt card ... since we seperated, she plays the victim card... I had no idea I was in a relationship with a Las Vegas croupier. She's told so many lies about me that she makes Pinocchio look like he's got a cute little button for a nose.
In the end - I couldn't take it anymore.... So I walked away.
I can only hope that one day my children (now mid-teens) will forgive me for not having the strength to fight for them.
Please don't hate on me for that choice... Walk a mile in my shoes and you will know why I saw it as the only rational choice to make.
Im having the same problem with my ex wife who was having an affair with the chap that she is with now. She made aliigations of rape and that. I was arrested and in the 48 hour dvpo she had on me. I went court and got cleared from all charges. Why i was on that order she put my kids in danger and uk social services have took all 5 of my kids into care. On Monday i have a big fight for my kids and all focuse is in that.
Hi Antony sorry you've had to go through it but I'm glad to hear the DVPO was quickly cleared - sometimes those take longer. HOPEFULLY you'll be able to get custody of your kids but I know once they are in "the system" things get *really complicated.* . Do you think you'll be able to get the kids back soon? -Duane
Yes women go through it too. I got the court to order our exchanges of our child to be done at the police station. Thanks for the video!!
There's an app that can record and save all your calls automatically. If you don't live in a one party consent state, you'll have to let them know up front they're being recorded.
Hi Mocha Gypsy, can you share the name of that app??? Excellent point about the legality of recording! -Duane
The name is called "Call Recorder" which I downloaded for free in the Google Play store. I've had it for 7 months now and it works great! I have a CPS case open that was vindictively brought on by my narc (soon to be ex) husband after a fight HE started (I took the bait) and I originally got it for my conversations with him. Instead, it unexpectedly saved me from a few big lies from my CPS social worker, who I suspect is also some sort of controlling Cluster B.
I have the app and set it up to automatically record calls to and from any number my then divorcing wife might use like work numbers, cell, home land line, her mothers, and her attorneys office. I would also say that it's better to have a recording that technically might be considered illegal than only the lies and false allegations of your enemy. To have an audio recorded record of the truth to use to vindicate yourself among the people whose association and friendships you value and need the full support of through this difficult season of your life. Even if the recording is inadmissible as evidence in court that doesn't mean that the judge and the other parties attorney can un-hear it. They will hear and know the truth. You can't tell me that won't affect the outcome. You could also use it as a deterrent for false allegations in court and false accusations with family and friends if necessary. I reminded her that I had recorded all our conversations since the day I was informed of her filing for her divorce. I used that info as leverage in an attempt to silence her lies...when she started a seriously damaging smear campaign by openly stating to me that I had mentally and verbally abused her throughout our 25 year marriage. ..this was her pass to initiate divorce without having to seek wise Biblical counsel from the church on doing her part of what is necessary to save our marriage. Which is simple enough and it would place the burden on me to do my part. But she had already abandoned, in private with me, all manner of civility and stated her indifference after I questioned all her actions that reflected and clearly demonstrated her complete indifference and total lack of empathy. As you can see I haven't much of a shortage of words to be written describing what I went through and am still going through...this is why, for those that are still engaging in communication with their covert for various required reasons, the advice given to use email and texts is good policy, But the advice to not send the first text or email is golden. I eventually quit initiating any communication or even responding to what selective info she was required to keep me informed of in regards to our son with his school, medical, and other info required to effectively coparent in a "healthy" dysfunctional way. So I wrote pages and pages worth pf replies or requests that all turned into my journal of the details of the past major and memorable events in our relationship and it forced me to articulate my thoughts and memory of the details surrounding the things in my mind that I had not let go...bottom line write your email saying everything you want to say in the way you want to say it...but send it to yourself instead....then write the most basic indifferent communication necessary to your covert ex...I just found these videos and I like them the best because they closely describe my similar situation and the advice is very intuitive and spot on. It would have accelerated the process for me understand and begin to accept what i didn't want to believe and now know can't and couldn't have been changed. I wasted two years of my life because of my misplaced focus and energy. Still doing it, this is proof of that.
i got an app which the police told me to put on my phone to record all calls.im in uk
Good video. I've been falsely accused of so much evil, blatantly false claims from abusing medication, stalking, even poisoning my child last week. 3 years of false allegations and almost $80k down the drain. If you're reading this fellow Dads or even women - don't give up!!! If your co-parent is making false allegations, do whatever you need to do to vent healthy, document, document, document. Do not stoop to the same level. Take note of all the good advice in this video!!! G.L.
they are TEXTBOOK - pls refer to THE SOCIOPATH NEXTDOOR - MARTHA STOUT + PSYCHOPATH FREE - JACKSON MACKENZIE + WOMEN WHO LOVE PSYCHOPATH - SANDRA BROWN
Good recommendations - I have Psychopath Free just haven't finished it but I'll have to look for the other two! -Duane
Oh wow. I’m shocked at the effect this had on me.
It’s been 6 years since I moved to Hell, and not once have I been understood. Well-meaning people tried while others flat out said I’m wrong.
Three minutes into this video and I’m sobbing in relief. Not only was I understood, I was VALIDATED! Man that’s a great feeling.
GREAT VIDEO!!! Why is it SO HARD to find anything on narcissism that’s under 30 minutes long?
Hmm I think most of mine are under that. I try to target 10-15. I think the main reason though is the misperception on the UA-cam algorithm- we’ll technically a few years ago it wasn’t. Thanks for the support T M
I lost my kids overnight due to false allegations of sex abuse (me the mother abusing both her sons)! Fast forward, I am now rebuilding a relationship with my sons as adults! This would never have happened if I didn't do the work on me, I am happier and emotionally stronger than I ever was. Being falsely accused is devastating, how your life turns out after it is your choice! I look at my experience as the wake up call I needed to live my life, not the shadow of another's life!
I am going through hell right now, falsely accused of same thing!
Oof he turned the whole story around n accuses me of the abuse. Time will tell n the truth will come out eventually. Stay strong guys n dont let it get to u!
Hi Rosie, yeah its amazing how they can turn the story around. I know how hurtful it can be when you're trying to make your peace with your experience only to find out they are accusing you of things you didn't do - or worse - things they did to you...
I'm struggling myself. I'm a 44 year old female care giver for my mentally ill mother. I love her dearly and take care of her well and fully financially support her. She has always been abusive which has unfortunately been normalized as I've never reported it and always forgave her. But now when I suggest she move into an assisted living facility, she will immediately scream and yell things like " help she's hurting me" , which usually shuts the conversation down and she gets her way. She's always made false reporting in hospitals, to cps with neighbors growing up and she raised me to think it was normal to fight with people this way. I've grown up and understand that is wrong and I've refused to participate in her reports as an adult, which has caused resentment towards me. I haven't spoken about any of this to my therapist and know I need to get away from her but it's hard. I'm thinking about getting a camera to put in my home to protect myself.
Who can you trust and what can you do when she has corrupt law officials abusing there power arressting harassing threatning and constantly helping her while knowing she is lying? If you already divorced and lost everything but are still constantly arressted for more false allegations that keep you down and you can't trust PD judge or lawyer to do whats right, or help protect your rights what can you do ?
Hi Red and welcome to the channel. That is a really complicated situation and quite honestly my recommendation in that situation is to leave. If she has been able to turn everyone against you and it's resulting in you being harassed by law enforcement and the legal system then you need a fresh start. It is absolutely wrong and you shouldn't have to go through this - but if that is the situation you find yourself it you have to take a fresh approach at the problem. The only other option would be to directly fight it through legal action but that is going to require legal representation and probably a lot of money. Some times these people are able to *win* and then we have to make the best decisions we can for ourselves. I know that isn't the answer you'd like to hear but I think these are the best options. *If others have different opinions or advice please share those with Red*. -Duane
Red Tag I am so sorry for your situation. I think the best way to handle it is to take legal action it's the only way to protect your rights and expose the corruption. It will be a long fight, but I still feel it would be worth it. It will require you to have a strong support system of friends and family and expert witnesses but it can be done. Consider having those friends and family come to court with you to be court watchers. Judges start to take notice and it hard to say you are the monster they say you are if there is a handful of men and women standing up for you. Be prepared to take it to a higher court and even make it a federal case on the grounds that your Constitutional rights are being violated. Just know that you are not alone. I hope that helps.
Red Tag no law against lies to a women's
personally .. I would move. I would. I would leave the state if I was allowed. I would get my record expunged if I could and I would get as far away from that thing as possible.
Red Tag shoot them all
This has happened been happening to me for past one year at work. I was up for a promotion, this new person was threatened by me rising to the same level as them. They perpetuated so many false allegations that it convinced the leadership to put my promotion on a back burner. Anyone reading this, please also educate yourself on Machiavelli principles of manipulation. This person has openly admitted to mastering them in my early conversation with them.
Wow it's Crazy listening to you it's like your talking about my relationship! honestly it's unreal thank you for making these videos they are so helpful!
You are very welcome Jessica and I'm glad they are helpful - you'll find that a lot of our stories are *very* similar! -Duane
this describes my two family members who has levied fake-false allegations against me i have even been beaten because of these FALSE FAKE allegations, my neck has been fractured leaving me partially paralyzed in the legs-hands. but local LEO will do nothing for me
Thats horrible Daniel - I hope you can recover from those injuries. False allegations are just horrible and oftentimes they do lead people to do some pretty horrible things as surrogates (or flying monkeys) of the liars. I hope you can get away from them and the abuse...
someone in my school falsy accused me of threats and now I'm going to have a talk with every teacher and I might get kicked and then it would be on my resumee and it would literally ruin my life
no school would accept me if that's on my school database
same things happening to me
My wife if ten years best friend for 36 now did this I'm homeless she couldn't care less I bought us a home paid for both her and her mother started accusing me if theft they somehow got the police to gaslight me and put me in jail police took me out to the desert placing a gun to my head. How in the world did my Wife have the power to control even the police. I'm destroyed. Now I have official police reports backing up my Wife's false claims that I'm crazy a drug addict and violent. She had police plant evidence unless she did it. God knows. She was the absolute love if my life. I'm 52 I'm done finished no more hope she Won!
yup,my ex is doing the silent treatment, he trying to sue me for financial gifts, lawyer said do not contact him! he takes my emails out of context!... he lied to his atty. bigtime. hes evil. hes a alcoholic, his wife divorced him. his ex gf thru him out for cheating. i kicked him to the curb, because of his Addictions, and his lying infidelity.
Hi Paula C and welcome to the channel! Sometimes the silent treatment can be a blessing because the drama goes down a bit. The legal issues you're talking about keep the drama up though. I would agree with your attorney when things get like this trying to continue communication just doesn't serve us any purpose. I know I *wasted* a lot of time trying to *save money* negotiating with her. Thank you for sharing your experience! -Duane
well the lawyer said the letter from his atty is trying to scare me into paying him back nothing had been filed yet in court, im prepareing my case, it was gifts. why is he doing this. is it because i called it off. a month ago. he befriended me on facebook again .. do not get it,
Gifts? That's odd, unless he was paying support payments before he was ordered too. My ex tried that, I was paying her $3k a month and then when I was ordered to pay they were like you own more and that last two months don't count. That wasn't a fun time - I was like there is no way in hell I'm going to double pay you what I already paid you. Fortunately that all got dropped and settled. I'm still trying to recover from all of this financially I have a few more years to get out of the hole I'm in. If he's talking about things that were bought while married before separation/divorce then that's silly.
Bottom line though - anyone who is toxic - even if they do not have a personality disorder - has no place in our lives. Maybe there is someone out there that they can be happy with but we need to stay away from people to take our happiness away.
well he helped me out finacially.. money gifts.. he want it all back!!!... he have nothing but women friends. he had the audacity to try to friend me on facebook! last week. see i was never married to him on live with him. after 2 yrs he comes to me saying he dont want a commitment . like wtf.! I'm over that. but he was emotionally abusive. lie all the time tell half truths.
Hi Paula - well just remain calm and let everything just play out. You already said your attorney said he's just trying to scare you so just ignore it and *try* not let it bring you down! -Duane
I finally got him out after a year, changed the locks and everything. Started talking to him again after a month had passed and he actually said "Sorry! I realize now that you werent cheating after all." I took him back. I didnt mean for him to move back in, but he did just that. 2 weeks went by & my family and friends were so mad at me, and I told them "hes actually changed. I know what you're thinking, and its hard to believe, but it's true! Hes actually trying this time, and being resonable!" But before another 2 weeks passed he was right back where we were. Now I gotta get him out---AGAIN! He has not changed.
Jesus prevailed.
Had a large group of hospital nurses go off on such attacks over a local musical care situation. Never dreamed of such abuse from professionals that are suppose to treat people with care.
The flow of false alligations has been very damaging.
Definitely a tough one.
Thank you for the video, it really helped alot, it may not be a divorce situation but my ex has taken me to the police for false accusations of harrassment and im worried im gonna do somethin wrong cuz of my explosive anger issues, thanks again
Hi Music's Edge and welcome to the channel! I'm glad the video helped, I do have a lot of subscribers that aren't divorced or have children - because narcissistic behavior follows specific patterns the abuse, results and healing processes are all very similar. Be very careful, if you are already susceptible to being triggered with your anger issues stay away from the situations. They will absolutely push your buttons to get you to react so they can use those type of allegations to retaliate. Stay safe Edge! -Duane
Thanks man, you earned my subscription
Thanks Music’s Edge I appreciate that! -Duane
Dad Surviving Divorce you are someone that wants justice in the world, someone who is trying to fix the amount of hate in this world and making it more manageable, for that i respect you, i respect your videos, i respect your personal experiences which i gather is your reason for setting up your channel and i overall think with all due respect, whatever woman thought badly of you to divorce you just wasnt good enough for you and i hope you strive to become a hero the world needs right now and hope the best for your children as i can relate to having divorced parents, thank you for inspiring others to do good, you are a great man, never forget it 😊😊
That's another reason everyone should have video surveillance in their homes for personal security. Break-ins, angry partners, "friends". People, protect yourselves. I'm going through the consequences of not protecting myself right now. My landlord accused me of stealing at 2am. I didn't dovit but the cops are still investigating me for it.
How do get you're reputation back, sue for slander or character assassination?
Hi Alex, that is a really great question and the honest answer is you just don’t. The only recourse you *could* have is if their actions have cost you money, job, promotion or something like that. Then you’d have something to sue on but otherwise once the damage? It’s annoying but it’s true.
It used to bother me in the beginning because I didn’t appreciate the lies that she and her minions were telling. I had one peer pull me aside because one of her employees came in and told her what a piece of shit I was for abandoning the family and leaving them with nothing. She knew it wasn’t true and felt bad and wanted to make sure I knew. Now keep in mind this was like three / four years AFTER the divorce and those lies were still being said.
I never lost any money from it I only lost a title and that was really because of politics at work and I finally just decided I didn’t want the hassle or stress anymore. In a lot of ways it was one of the better decisions I’ve made and it ended up giving me time to do more with my children and have the flexibility to do things like this channel. So for me it’s all worked out in the end - however a few years ago I wasn’t so “happy” about all of the smears. -Duane
u never can
Three years ago angry bpd ex punished me with false allegations. Arrested in middle of night. I eventually got through it including the sting in the tail, the family court. Then when its finished the ptsd starts to kick in that this could have ever happened. The worst thing, which is what you are left with, is that this person that you loved, cared for, thought nothing of making that call to the police and then fabricated statements in the cold light of day to back up the original lie. Its the scale of betrayal that stays with you.
I WISH I WAS BORN IN THE 40'S HUMAN BEING WERE POLITE AND WOMEN WERE LOYAL AND GOOD HOUSE WIVES !
this guy is the only one i have seen who knows what damage can be done by false allegations. very down to earth.
Monster behind the mask.
Yes, lovely statement.
My neighbor & I had a minor verbal dispute about me smoking in a gangway we share in the back of are apartment building. That was a year ago, last month she went to the property manager claiming I was aggressively pounding on her door which the property manager took at face value & he put a no trespassing order against me but here's the kicker she has 2 cams on her door, this was unknown at time . So I was out back last week watching the rain come down & police come to my on accident looking for the neighbor lady, so I'm like oh shit here we go again. The police leave & I think nothing of till the next day when the county deputy comes to my door with a order of protection, so I'm like WTF it's not illegal to use my own back door I've done nothing to this person. so later that afternoon I get the no trespassing order & that when I find out that she's lied to property manager to get the no trespassing order now I'm working on get the footage of the night in question & save my self from this attack. Any tips would be appreciated.
After my mother died, my father made false allegations of elder abuse. As soon as he became sole beneficiary of her estate, he started calling the police saying I assaulted him. Three times he called to no avail,police saw it was fictional. For my own safety I fled the city but in my absence he went to a Justice of Peace and swore a Private Prosecution against me and swearing an oath that I assaulted and threatened him. Then he disinherited me. Then I was arrested and eventually went to jail all because of false allegations. Every aspect of my life has been destroyed. Career, reputation, finances, mental and physical health. And this was my blood father now thankfully deceased. The pain.
Another important thing with any legal situation is keep a diary. Write down any interactions honestly and clearly immediately after they happen. Keep them in an exercise book in a safe place. Ideally type them up at the end of the day and email them to yourself and save the emails so you have a record with dates and times on it. Those records really can made a difference. I think it's a good idea to keep a diary even if things are going well. Use a large book with plenty of space and with dates already in it. Note places you went and things you did and even some of the things you watched on TV. Note some of your feelings. Hopefully all will go well in your life, but if you get into any difficulties, being able to read over those entries is helpful. If all goes well, it's just good to read over the happy times and re-live some of them sometimes. It's not enough to just have computer records because computers can change or records get lost. It's better to have both a written and digital record.
My wife claimed I threatened her life simply because I requested she get life insurance (like I have) to protect our kids in a worse case scenario. Thankfully it was all in email. My lawyers said it was ridiculous how she twisted what I said. She also claimed I abandoned our kids but has provided no support as to why she would say such a hurtful thing. My whole life has been about providing and loving my wife and kids. Good to know I’m not the only one with a narcissistic ex wife making up stories.
Hi sorry for wat happened to you in the past I have a question for you if someone accuses you with false allegations that you have insulted her and you did not, will this affect your criminal record in the future?
He problem is the police, prosecutors and judges because at the end of the day there is no accountability for these women. The need to start spending some time in jail/prison for lying and filing false allegations, that would change the game now wouldn't it.
Brilliant advice especially about not sending messages straight away. These people have a talent to make you upset and emotionally angry.
STOP - TAKE A BREAK before you reply. They will goad you.