When a Man Reacts Like THIS, He Does Not See a Romantic Future!
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- Опубліковано 1 жов 2024
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A man who loves you, won't take the risk to lose you. Very simple 😊 no confusion... and a relationship is built step by step not over night. Consistency is also the key to a real relationship.
JEZUS!! And they are sayin' that WOMEN ARE COMPLICATED!!!! 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
Psychology is complicated and most men just don't understand it.
@@zufex2029 Oh my gosh- you literally described it well!
Seriously tho!!!!
@@zufex2029that makes so much sense. So basically they oversimplify life?
@@sorrywhoareyou887 I wouldn't say oversimplify life, maybe rather oversimplify people, including themselves. Imho it is also lack of self-awareness. These men really believe they are that simple and rational, but it's not true. They have no idea how many insecurities, traumas and other problems they have and how much it controls their decision making. I used to be that man who genuinely thought women are complicated and men are simple. I read some books about psychology and I realized I didn't understand both women and men and found out that we are actually very similar to each other. We are all pretty complicated.
This is great! All too often women are told not to be “needy” by actually show in the man how we feel and what we want. It’s like we’re supposed to keep that hidden so we don’t scare him off. But you’re only going to scare him if he doesn’t want anything serious with you. So it’s better to be authentic and vulnerable.
My mom knew she was going to marry my dad on her second date... 5 kids later and 55 years strong. When you know, sometime you really do know
My gosh, Brian, you completely unveiled the narcissistic manipulation. Dismissing your feelings, telling you you’re crazy, acting super hurt (so you feel bad), then buttering you up so you’ll love him the way he wants…all while never addressing the concerns of your heart.
You forgot to mention the guy who makes and breaks the same dates. You don’t need words for this to know that his actions are deadly for a good long-term relationship, get away from him fast.
Definitely. Calls, makes a date, cancels an hour before. Done. Narcissist. He has such a beautiful mask, but I won't fall in love with an illusion ever again after being married to a covert narcissist for 25 years. I've learned to spot narcissism a mile away. If a person causes you confusion, there is no confusion
In my case, it was my mother who used to make and break the same dates. That was really hard for me because I'm an extreme introvert as well as a planner; it takes me awhile to work up to going out. Then to have it canceled at the last minute is jarring because - plans.
@@michelledavidson1781very well said
I dated a guy who told me six weeks into the relationship that he loved me, then later took it back. He said he didn’t know what he wants. I did.
no clear communication no relationship.
I went on a date. I was myself. I am happy. I enjoyed making the dinner and he even tried the Salmon. He told me his deep hurts. He still loves his exwife. I have know expectations. I can walk away. I don't need a man, I want a man. I am happy. I work on myself. ❤
Haha... as a 63 year old, I can tell you Brian, it is impossible to find a good man of a similar age. Is it too much to want intelligence, kindness, authenticity (yes, I know that's stretching it a bit) and someone who takes good care of themselves? I recently met someone who lives opposite me! 61 years old. Divorced. Good looking. Kind to everyone on the street. The old ladies love him. I was a bit meh.. he's too good to be true with this kindness thing. We became friends which was great. For 6 months we'd have the impromptu coffee or drink or drinks with others. It felt good. Then after an afternoon together and then supper at my place with only one glass of wine (he hardly drinks) he became passionate with me. I was blown away because I was resolved that we were only going to be friends. After that I was confused and yes.. he retreated and didn't want to talk about it. So... too good to be true. He said that it was because I lived opposite him and that he knows what he's like and he doesn't want to hurt me. Bugger! I knew there was some kind of damage there. He said he keeps his life in order. He has his family and his close friends and then his home is his bubble. My ego was hurt even though I had guessed there was something going on. He's a good guy and he said he's better as a friend than anything else. Good men of my age'ish are as rare as hens teeth. Sorry for oversharing...
Friends ok ... that's him telling you he hasn't got the balls to take a chance even though he wants your company ... I'd put your focus elsewhere tbh
@@juliafisher5844 absolutely
Doesn’t want to hurt you, doesn’t think he’s good enough for you, “I’m a better friend than lover/spouse, you’re everything I’ve ever wanted, I want you to be my wife, etc.” I swear, men operate from the same playbook that coaches them on all of their tired old lines, empty words and promises, etc. I am sooooo sick of this! I am just coming off of a relationship after being seriously played for 3 years. He used every line which I, being of good heart, bought into. Lesson learned. Being alone isn’t the worse thing in the world and there is a lot more peace in one’s environment when one is alone.
I’m same age and struggling to find a decent man too. Urgh
@@juliafisher5844 oh yes… he’s an avoidant. But an arrogant one at that. Totally not interested in arrogance. I have to keep from being outspoken with him because he’s so vein he’ll misunderstand it as me feeling sad. 🤣🤣
There is nothing if they can't co plan a future fun trip. What's the point? They can't lead. An easy drop.
Narcs have many contradictions, and very little empathy. I love your videos and your style, you have guided me positively out of the traps of mind gaming relationships
He didn’t want me to meet his goldfish LOL
TOOK FOREVER TO MEET HIS FAMILY. Gosh this is real good content
I really appreciate you adding little jokes at times 🐡
Thank you Brian, I always watch your videos all the way through. You share a lot of helpful insight and you always do it in a humorous way! Appreciate your videos a lot!!
I read all your books and even got the audio versions! Please write more books! ❤ your advice saved my love life
Crossword puzzle in a different Language.😂😂😂😂
Master your emotions, use less logic but more intuition 💙
Yes! I don’t get excited or impressed over anything any for! I’ll be impressed if it all works out and that person is healthy!!!!😂❤️🥂
“There’s a point where he can no longer lie even to himself” 😂
Are all Dutch guys as emotionally intelligent as Brian? 😄 Thanks, once again.
is brian dutch?
@@danielapolo7346 I think so. “Geert”, his real name, is Dutch.
No, they aren’t. I was married 15 years to one who was emotionally unavailable
😂😂😂😂
Sorry, that 😂 was intended for the original question @@lorikeizer7380
Guilt. It’s true. Shower with appreciation and he will run 😂
Always helpful videos ❤ thank u so much, can't to wait next video
There are good men that just don’t know how to communicate and may seem like they are gaslighting like the example provided at 4:22. The trick is knowing which ones are worth the effort or not!
If he doesn't communicate well, he's not worth the effort. Doesn't matter if he's genuine or not.
@@natashadickson4819so true
@@natashadickson4819I agree. There's nothing but pain in a situation like that.
Gaslighting could be big red flag but we all could do that unintentional no doubt and need to give chance but if they don’t want to grow run.
I enjoy and appreciate your humor very much, it makes listening to your videos so easy for me. There are other relationship “coach” videos that I just cannot listen to for very long before my mind wanders off 😞
I agree with all you say, but with one caveat: When you just meet anyone, you don't want to move too quickly either (or give that impression). Discussing a year in advance, cruise trip booking on the 4th date? This would not make you a bad person, if you do not make future plans (man, or women).
If there are no plans for a future, there's no future for the relationship. It's not going anywhere.
Or they don't know yet if you are the one.@@natashadickson4819
First date then we will be seen as crazy and that is horrible advice. Horrible!
A guy will talk about us in future too and we don’t need to manipulate it. 😂🤦♀️.
This guy is the truth ‼️
Love love your videos!! You are the best, I love it when you suddenly pop up on my notifications you are just what I want to hear.❤❤❤
Dog Driving a bus..
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Watch out! If YOU book and pay for the trip, YOU are on the hook if the relationship and the trip get cancelled.
Dear Brian, your advice only seems to work on the alpha male and not on the sigma male/ lone wolf. Is it possible for you to dig in to the sigma male/ lone wolf please?
Brilliant as always Bryan!, Thank you!💖
My ex bf confused me all the time.
🤣 thanks, so funny and great advice 😉.
Shame you have to use a pen name though. I would prefer to know what your real name is.
No shame
Can you comment on the show “love is blind”. That would be very interesting
Excellent as usual Brian. Thank you!
🎉if ur ring 💍 finger is naked ur body shouldn't be. keep ur legs closed until marriage or at least an engagement ring, u met the fam, invites have gone out, deposit on venue made (all paid 😉 by him), then he might be serious about u.
What if you ask him for clarity of his intentions and if he's in another relationship and he goes silent - for weeks?
Then you've got a very clear answer. Anything else than a prompt and clear answer is a major red flag.
The silence is usually a form of punishment meant to "train" you to never ask again in fear of losing them. It's a narc tactic. Run fast.
Happy 2024! ❤
I love Your books! Thank You!
SO AMAZING THANKYOU GERT 🎉
For the next video I want a video about how to love a good guy. I was disappointed with the guy whom I liked and decided to pay attention to the guy who doesn't play games and is enough mature. In this case the first one is sometimes hiding something ( I don't know if he can have feelings) and the second one is very direct about his romantic intentions. He even has good appearance but I don't feel any chemistry when I look at him. Can it be changed if I date him?
Maybe yes, maybe No, but stop looking at future outcomes you can’t predict. Can you “date” him and enjoy a good time with him? Is he good company? Do you like being with him? Now is a good time for You to be clear about Your intentions toward him. Share where you stand and where he stands with you, like you do here. Put yourself in situations where you can smile and laugh and feel good about the activities you do together, and this may include civic/social service like volunteering together at the local animal shelters. Get out there and be a part of the real Life around you. Yes you can do this alone, but it’s more Fun if you can take someone with you. And it’s a lot more real, update us now and then, Ok?
@@TheRomanPilgriminPerson Thank you for your advice. I am thinking about giving him a chance and spending more time with him. But I know he liked me from the first sight and he may fall in love, I just don't want to waste his time. (especially in our 30s). Sometimes I am angry at myself that I can't like him from the first sight because objectively he is attractive but not my type.
Sometimes the chemistry we seek is the rise and fall rollercoaster effect of a toxic relationship. Maybe you have a fear of stability and having something that will actually work out. It is a very quiet type of a fear of commitment.
Maybe do not over analyse. Take things slow and relax and get to know the good guy.
@@nbee6217 Yes sometimes, but if a guy likes a girl from the first sight it doesn't mean he wants rollercoaster effect. It's just a rule of attraction. Many women choose the way of accepting love, just because it's so comfortable. It's also toxic.
Yes it happens, especially if we had chaotic childhoods. Chemistry is one part of the equation and Chemistry can develop and expand. Having similar goals, morals, and values is the most important thing - besides that true desire to even be in a committed relationship.
Losing the need to have explosive, constant roller coaster type relationships takes some personal reflection and growth. Healthy lasting relationships are "boring" with discipline and consistency- but that create a much better future overall. Good luck out there.❤
God Bless you Brian, for your wisdom and experience. I'm learning to observe & listen closely to see if one has good intentions so we will have a deeply connected relationship 😊
Men everywhere are hoping their targets don't see this video. ❤
Goes Both Ways 😮😮
What, 30:80?
Male here
Wow 👌
Great 👍 👌 thoughts
Be open minded
This video can go both ways
Certain men AND women are this way
Just more confirmation about my recent X 😮😮😢😢
Thank God u posted
He is same guy who makes relationship, then breaks the relationship on his own will just because the other girl is more beautiful 😢
Dankjewel :)
Is there a difference between self centeredness due to trauma and a narc or are they the same thing?
Great question. I think there is. But I'm not sure it makes much of a difference when dating.
there is indeed, ppl with trauma will often display some self centeredness until they realise and be willing to do the work, otherwise it won't make much difference.
Super helpful thank you
You make it sound so simple. Your videos are very helpful to me. Thank you.
Why you describe fellow men as bad? They are not bad; they just want to have sex with a woman but don't want to marry her. If he honestly said what he wanted, no woman would sleep with him, so they have to hide the intention. Gaye men on other side don't hide the intention; their relationships are more honest.
This information saves me from so much overthinking and second guessing. What a freaking life saver THANK YOU
Thank you, you're amazing
hello, I am already married to the man who projects. 6years with 2 kids. its been an emotional roller coaster for me. He cheats, he lies and he does all the things a broken man does - giving but really not giving. I keep feeling that he is never true with his emotions because he says A and does B so confusing - like he keeps playing himself. please what can I do now?
People in conservative culturels were right that sex supposed to be only after two people are strongly connected. Otherwise it messes up realationships: some men date women only to get laid, they wouldn't even try if woman would say "only after you prove you have serious intensions", women in the other hand usually don't do that, but shared intimate moments, emotions and hormones don't let them think straight
I love the direct advice mixed with humor!
Full fledging narcissist, omg my partner here for nine years omg. I never saw the signs! 😮
He doesn't say how he feels except he doesn't want a relationship but treats me like a queen. Takes me out, go on trips, but no sex. He wants to buy a place together too????
Don't do it!
Roommates?
but why be in a relationship with me if you don't want future when you know how shitty my life was? way lead me on.. why not be honest about it...
Very nice session. 🙂.
❤
A dog driving a bus 😂Sounds like a great family and kids movie, not great in dating world. Good info 👏
If it’s a narc and he said we are not into them then just agree and run and thank him!!!😂😂
❤ thank you 😊
I already know because I am hideous looking 😭 I can only date blind men😭
Look for the blind but great man then.
Who says you’re hideous?
There are no good men left! Sorry.
Goes Both Ways 😮😮
Did you try the over 4 billion men on this planet? Wow. Don't blame men for your poor choices in them. That is your fault. Be very picky and do not settle. I'm a domestic abuse survivor by the way.
It's good when you both want the same thing. If the guy doesn't want marriage, ask him what he wants, listen to his answer, and then ask yourself whether you want the same thing or not. Don't move forward with a relationship if you each want different things. You can move on and meet someone who matches you.
@@GamerNerdessI mean this is the most respectful way but pray that you don’t be an emotional abuse survivor. You have no right to judge someone unless you’ve been through what they have.
Not true. Be who you want to attract.
I want to restore the deep connection with the sigma which is the most difficult thing since they are very specific.
With the Sigma male a Phone call to express myself is no option for the sigma male. Neither is small talk. Please help like with a: How to restore deep connection with a sigma/ lone wolf trough texting/ voice message specific. These males are so unique!
I'm going to make a homemade strawberry rhubarb pie
Not for me
Thank you
You are really good ❤🎉
Try married
😂😂😂😂
Love ur videos So helpful
All of this is true 💯
He’s brilliant 😂
thank u❤
😂
😓
🌻
Brian, what about a man whom is a friend of yours, who is married and a man of insane amounts of integrity (pastor level) and he suddenly goes from helping you with everything, growing a friendship with you and your husband, our kids are good friends, etc and suddenly he moves and has acted like you no longer exist on this planet?
These things are important because if feelings are involved, we need to be very respectful and sensitive to these men and not feel resentful of a sudden ending of our previous good friendship.
He probably had to create a boundary because it was unhealthy and he needed to distance himself because he needed to guard his emotions and protect his purity
This happens a lot, more than you may think, good friends moving and not telling anyone, just vanishing from their house. It’s devastating to those left behind. Once I had a good colleague move out of state, I missed her terribly, but when I contacted her after her move she informed me that we were good friends only for the limited time she was in my state. I was crushed, she was an Amazing friend to me. I continued to keep in touch over the years, I even flew to visit with her a few times. It won’t be like it was, but you should cherish whatever contact you can make if any.
He is married. Simple. Boundaries!
Simple. He values his own family more and will not upset his wife even slightly. So he took a stand.