This advice is spot on. I have been both of these women. The nice, accommodating, not "difficult" woman got little respect and definitely no lasting love. When I decided to put my feelings first and say NO, stand up for myself when I didnt like something and show that I could and would walk away, is when true love found me. He became my husband but unfortunately he passed away. However, I am now that "difficult" woman and although it sends most men packing, that's good because those are guys who only want to use me and waste my time. Listen to Brian, ladies. The RIGHT man will fall head over heels for you if you stay true to yourself and call him out when he needs it. Self-love and self-respect are the most important values to have in dating. If he's going to leave you because you're not a doormat, he's simply not the right guy for you and probably not for anyone. Let him WALK. Another is RIGHT down the road.
@@Whoeverwhateverwhenever Maybe that's your reality. It isn't mine. Good luck with that type of low-vibrational thought process. If you don't believe in and know your worth, then yes, you will end up alone, even within a "relstionship". I'll pass. The most important and best relationship is the one you have with yourself. Get your mind right or you're gonna always lose in this game. Peace and Blessings to you.
@@TheVerbalAssassinFAFO well, my reality is that I always say if I don't like something. But they get tired of this and go away. I see that many guys prefer calm women who don't fuck their brain.
Absolutely! I tasted once the nice agreeable one and it send me to hell for 5 long years. Barely got recovered from that place and not without deep scars
Saying "no" is not about controlling or manipulating the situation, it's about respecting yourself and setting boundries and knowing when to walk away.
Saying no is powerful. It teaches people how to treat you and shows respect for yourself. The hardest thing is saying no when you want to say yes but you know you would be disrespecting yourself in the long run. Stay strong because some day you will look back and be thankful for that” no”.
I like to be true to myself , to my feelings, if i am falling I am not trying to hide! It s good to let your feelings be known ... Then I could see how he react toward me. And be prepared for whatever come out.
Yeah... make a man feel that he is the fifth wheel on the cart is certainly a great strategy. Let me tell you: No, it isn't. At least, I want to see the same amount of commitment from her than I am putting into this. You can play it a few times if you think you want to trigger his hunting instincts, but a sane man who not only respects you, but also himself, will only take it a few times, then leave.
@@linuxpython935 Why should someone cancel plans they already had because YOU asked them out? That is what she is saying. Don't cancel plans you already made because someone asked you out. If you can't manage to accept that, then why are you worth dating?
@@gusmonster59 I am not saying that she should always cancel her plans, but in my opinion, taking the other party's interests into account is important to get along. If one side always makes other plans independently of their spouse, that's a recipe for disaster. If a lady would do that to me, I would definitely conclude that I am sort of a dessert to her, but not nearly as important as she should hold me, if she wants me to trust her that she'll stay around, and if she wants me to stay around. Conversely, I would also try to accommodate her interest to some reasonable degree, so we would both have our girls or guys night out independently, but we would also have occasions where we would cancel other arrangements - because for me, family comes first, everytime. If she can't be that committed, I am probably glad to get away from her rather sooner than later.
Linux Python I agree. I'm 65 so I've seen a few things. A woman's friends are her friends until they 1. move away, which happens to almost everyone or 2. find their own man. 99% of the time, female friends aren't going to be there 5 or 10 years from now. Why would a woman pass up the opportunity to create her own family? That's self-defeating. As wise women say to their daughters, don't listen to your friends; they'll make sure that you lose (or never get) your happy home.
Normally when a woman stops loving her partner that's the time he's ready to give her all the love that she no longer needs. I guess this is so because she develops the strength and courage to say 'no' and also ignores him. It does work but only when the ladies already given up on the relationship.
@@trishadash9938 Saying no will make him doubt everything and start reevaluating everything he knows. Even the most attractive and high self esteemed guy will do that. Their train of thought is usually "why isn't she calling me back?", "why doesn't she want to spend time with me anymore?", "why doesn't she love me back?". Trust me, every time I decided to ignore and reject a guy I spent to much of my time and effort into, they came back crawling, like lost puppies who just wanted a minute of my attention. It's exhausting and "fake", in my opinion. But they never wanted my genuine self, my open and honest self. It seems they like mind games. Ugh.
@@iulia.bianca.b if your genuine honest self is mostly rebuffing a guy that you claim to like, then you really don't like that guy. The whole idea behind saying "no" sometimes is based on a man behaving badly. Maybe he's tryna get you to open a line of credit to help him pay for something. It doesn't have to be sexual, you should say "no" to that and examine why he needs it or can't do it himself. If you really don't feel like being sexual, then say not tonight. But, do let him know that you still love and desire him. Or, to take all of the confusion about sex away, wait until he marries you. Men are the gate keepers of the relationship and women are the gate keepers of sex. We want what the other has so the power struggle is real. I read a ton of stuff and I'm not getting the idea that women truly want marriage any more. It seems to me that they just want sex partners like men. So, there's really no power struggle to be had if everyone just wants uncommitted sex. But, if you suddenly want a viable relationship with a dude you've been sexual with, and you start power struggling, then expect to fail in that relationship. My point is this, women at the very minimum, should demand a monogamous relationship with a man before she agrees to sex. And, it's ok if you even want to wait until marriage. But, if you think you can start off playing sex games before any real commitments happen, then you're being foolish.
I just find this very interesting. I find it very hard to love someone who don't love me right back. Typically when someone don't love you they stop asking you to fulfill their needs and they stop fulfilling his needs. That means "time to go" in my book!
I agree Brian, I will not compromise my body,my faith, or morals for any man!! and he knows now that I am not afraid of losing him!! my mama taught me that.... "another bus is always coming"
The man I'm dating, I'm doing exactly what you are saying & I tell him I won't put up with "that" & he's making me pull away from him. He tells me he's afraid of losing me & apologies & respects my boundaries. After 2 bad marriages with narcissists I will never again just be just a pleaser & I will never again be with a man who doesn't truely value me.
Wow, I wish I had heard this advice years ago. I set boundaries with my first ex, but then he pushed them and pressured me, and I gave in. It turned out to be an abusive relationship, and I didn’t leave until 3 kids and 13 years later. Did the same thing with the 2nd. Finally, I’ve gotten free, have had counseling and a lot of inner healing, and I’m trying to learn how to enter the dating world again. He’s right, ladies. Set those boundaries early on, and stick to them. If you’re insecure, you don’t value yourself, and you let these men control you, predators will smell that from miles off! Get counseling and help before you think about starting a relationship. Wish I had. ❤
So glad I came across this video, just wish it was sooner. Was in a relationship for 22 years and was a people pleaser. Than met my twin flame and also was a people pleaser for 2 years and finally have put up boundaries. He keeps trying to test them now and I'm no longer allowing it.
Exactly. Why all the mind games?? One minute they like you the next, they don't want to know. Can't be a people pleaser, but please your man so he don't stray. It's too much, lol. Show love don't show love. When does it end, when two people can truly just treat each other with love all the time. Not too much to ask for is it.
Holy crap!!!! You are so right!!!! When I felt romantic love was superficial, focused on my kids and my career, men who were interested never seemed to lose interest for years. No matter how often they were rejected! When I decided I want to be in a relationship and found a guy I was interested in, after several dates I found myself becoming this insecure, needy, frankly an embarrassing version of myself that I didn’t recognize. Very unattractive! My life was full without a man it should remain full with a man..... happy me happy man
I once had a guy I’d been dating for about four months ask me, “if someone asks you to sign a pre-nup before marriage, would you do it?” His family was fairly wealthy. My response was, “No. I don’t start a marriage by planning for the divorce.” He was shocked and his cousin fell over laughing. I added, “If you feel you need to ask a woman to sign a pre-nup before marrying her...then stop. You’re not marrying the right person.” I broke up with him a month later and he did go on to marry a beautiful woman and he didn’t ask her to sign any papers. They’ve been married twenty-five years.
Every marriage comes with a pre-nup, it’s just one that’s pre-defined. Any financial planner will tell you: get. A. Prenup. Custom. Made. It’s not preloading for a divorce, it’s about securing your financial future no matter what.
If a man isn’t willing to lay his life down for you, don’t give him access to your mind, body, or soul. We as women ARE the PRIZE. Show it, live it, and don’t feel bad for saying “NO”. Sometimes, showing a man that you’re serious will make him realize you are Queen. If you keep letting him have his way, and allowing him to be disrespectful to you he will continue the same behavior. Love yourself first, allow God to be in control, and everything else will fall into its rightful place. Love & light Queens! 💫❤️
I’m in a relationship now with a man I genuinely shot down in the beginning. I was genuinely rude because I had my children with me, had just gotten off work and was tired and in NO MOOD to talk to “some random dude”...I now get a real man outta this dude. He goes above and beyond for me without me asking him for anything at all...I’m so in love with this man now too💯❤️🥰
I'm glad for you 😊. But my gut feeling tells me no he doesn't want anything else no dinner nothing I feel he doesn't put out I not putting out it crazy my second husband I put out with him we did marry he live 9 yrs together before he died he was the best. I love his so. But my gut feeling tells me no on this one I think he might be married or something thanks
This is so true. I was the nice one, to the point of putting up with too much crap..hard to be a b--ch, I guess! So, "you will always be there for me"! Taken for granted.. now I am older, know better. But, if I knew THEN what I know NOW! Wow!😊
The guy I like called me a snob and judgmental for taking a strong stance. I said if he doesn't like to hear my thoughts he should stop talking to me AND I walked away. Guess who sought me out repeatedly a few days after? ;) The only men that like push overs are abusive type.
Just for the record, I’m a pretty ‘hard-ass’ sort yet I married (& divorced) a sociopath. True the ‘pushovers’ are the ones abusive people flock to, yet a trait the sociopath deems worthy is what they prize. I am strong-willed which he wanted to be (told me all the time it’s what he loved most about me.) A sociopath feels they can ‘acquire’ traits from people. Just to say, abuse can happen to anyone used to abusive people in their lives (unhealed childhood trauma, for me.) If there’s a crack they will find a way in. Edit : The first comment he made to me when we met, ‘You’re a bitch’, bc I voiced my strong stance. We were just acquaintances for 5 yrs then dated. My point being he waited for 5 yrs, dated/engaged for almost 2 yrs, literally the day we got married the abuse began. I know you won’t take my advice & that’s ok, but here’s the seed I’m planting for you. GO & don’t look back. The one for you will show LOVE, not hate, when they first meet you.
The gentle Nympha I think the secret not so secret is self love. You need to carry it with you in every situation. It doesn’t mean you don’t have bad days and experience and emotional break down every now and then. You just learn to love yourself where you are at. You will attract more of the right type of people, and be choosey enough to say no. Don’t overlook any personality flaws you know you cannot live with. Let a man treat you right, because you deserve it.
I am a student of this lesson indeed. No really works. I used to be so accommodating. Then the blinders came off of my eyes. He was taking full advantage of my kindness. I turned it off and turned the situation around. Now, he chases me.....Love it.
@@margaritaborisova8165 I started saying no when I was saying yes to things that I didn't agree with. I showed him in the kindest way that I have boundaries.
This is a really great message, Brian. We women need to watch this a few times and let it sink in. Who we "really are" is a person worthy of being loved. We need the real "us" to stay in charge of our love life at all times.
You are so correct. I really for someone and completely changed myself the after 17 months I said no to what was always a yes and he dipped out the same night. I dodged a bullet and learned a very valuable lesson!
This man is the god of relationships. He knows exactly what he is talking about and it works! Relationships are work, hard work. It's our thoughts and actions (or lack thereof) that makes or breaks a good relationship. Those who say they don't want to "play games" are too lazy to afford a successful, long lasting relationship. There is no "magic pill" to a successful relationship. If you find the love of your life, it's worth the effort. But do take the time to love yourself first... This is the key to success in all aspects of life.
Love this!!!! So true!!!! I have experienced this, and I was just talking about it today with a friend. When we as woman lose the fear of losing a man, he will step up his game. I used to be the type to always please him, and then I finally set my boundaries, he started coming off to me. Sadly for him, I was over him. I think the key here is to learn to love yourself first, this shows others how you should be treated.
I'm remembered my past relationships & my mistakes, thanks for enlightening me, now I know what I did wrong. That's why people say to Love Yourself & now I fully understand why.
It was a very important message - thank you Brian 😊 I have always been so submissive with men I liked, I wasn’t myself at all... and the relationship never worked out or I would get taken advantage of. I still don’t know how not to be submissive but I know I need to change and build in strong boundaries and a life I love
What I realized after this video is that I totally ruined a relationship I might have had, and I think there’s no way back. We do talk sometimes, and he shares his life events with me, but it’s nothing like before. And this is the person who made me SO happy, whom I love wholeheartedly ( not the “ I have butterflies while looking at you” kind of love. More so” I want to spend my life with you” kind of love). Just, by nature I am someome who always tries to avoid dissappointing others, to avoid conflicts, and was never thought to have “ bounaries” with people. I have learned now, I feel like I have growm a lot since we split. But it’s just so sad fo realized I’d ruined everything by just not being strong enough.
We all grow over time; it's part of being human. Maybe you two will end up together again; maybe you will end up with someone even more amazing. Keep moving forward, and expect the future to bring you delightful surprises. 🙂
I apreciate your words. When one starts being "Unavailable" and show that you have had enough, makes him think about his actions. That he has not given value! Be your true self.
This is what I needed. CONFIRMATION! You have made me a very happy woman! I sometimes forget just how much power the word "no" has. And I will continue to set boundaries. I'm no pushover. And "he" knows that by now. Thank you!!!!
Yeah always been a pleaser and giver.Learning about boundaries. Not caring about the "progress" of the relationship is the key..Living with uncertainty and getting on with your own life..Being happy with self..Think friendship is important first..Let it develop naturally, not forced.
Honestly I think the best advice in a relationship is space which is basically saying no and doing your own thing for a couple of hours or days. Also Allow them to learn the real you. That's how you know if they can tolerate you or not. Always hold yourself back until both are ready.
Excellent advise!! On and off with a man and now he has reached out to communicate. I’ve decided to do exactly what you said and am completely willing to walk away. He has been texting and calling like never before! I’m completely free of trying to make it work! I’m worth more and have my true respect of myself. Thank you!
This guy is brilliant! I’ve started learning this now at age 36 and I so wish I had found these advises a bunch of years ago but hey it’s never too late.
This makes sense out of what I am going through RIGHT NOW. I started prioritizing what I did and letting him know I'm not gonna jump when wants my attention, he's more attentive now and saying things that shows he wants me around more instead of tippy toeing what he admits.
Yes, thanks for sharing this.When we women know who we really are we can set boundaries in our lives, and the word NO will be one of the most effective words we can use.
My thing is I have this thing called the 6 month rule...which is something I don't break because before I give up the goods he needs to PROVE he LOVES me
You know this absolutely works one hundred percent..I have learned my man very well...and if there are things he says or does that I dont appreciate...he will back off especially if I flat out say NO... He will have an attitude change..or soften his voice...or reply " alright babe" ...on occasion he has even said.." okay boss"...thats so funny. And Brian I have said no many times..and you are right...he always comes back more sweet...more understanding..compassionate. ..bottom line. ...hes not goin anywhere and shows more love.. I love your channel. ...you are always spot on...your a good man an thanks for all you do for the women of this world... Myself included..thanks..!!!
Brian, Sir, I salute You. I´ve seen this clip a couple of months ago. And I just saw again today. And today it ALL made senesce!!! The 'woman-in-love'-you is not the real, real you!!! You are golden!!! Handing us women, golden wisdom in a way that I, as woman, understand, value and appreciate immensely. Thank You from the bottom of my heart!!!
You have a wonderful way of explaining things with gracious simplicity. I appreciate you. And yes, I totally agree with you. I have found this all to be true. It isn't always easy - especially when you want the relationship so much, but this is essential!
I could hug you Brian. This made so much sense, like a missing piece of the puzzle. What you said, it's true. I've heard others attempt to explain this but were not impactful. You were thorough, so thanks much! ♡
I love how you helped me understand that it's not a bad thing to be myself when in love with someone. I used to think that being myself with him would scare him off quickly or even slowly so with that being said I put up with his shameful behavior. The ghosting, the ignoring, the one word text, or the "Hey you busy" text. He would treat me beautiful in front of my friends and his friends and my family ... but when we were apart he was a whole different person? Treated us like we weren't a couple. I wouldn't hear from him for hours then it was days then weeks then months? Then when I'd decided to move on he'd come back, treat me beautifully once again but it all starts up again. So it's time I be myself and put an end to this bad behavior and receive my happiness. I need to stop tolerating this kind of behavior.
To be fair, you can't even really be in a relationship with someone else if you're not yourself. What that means is that the other person is in a relationship with a fake person because you're not really 'you', and you lose yourself. You should always want to be loved for being you, for being who you are, exactly as you are, and the only way to do that is by fearlessly being yourself. x
You are amazing! I can't thank you enough for opening my eyes! I am so thankful that I have found your videos in the most difficult time in my life! You managed to calm me down, prevent my panic attacks from bursting out and make me understand his actions!
Love it! Thank you! We do need to say no when it is called for. I was just watching another coach talk about this "challenge". Sounded exhausting UNTIL I understood that it's only exhausting if he's the wrong guy and I am depending on him for an emotional high. The difference comes when I have my own friends and goals and I'm not sucked in by the guy. That's how the RIGHT guy will stay. If I'm trying to make the wrong guy stay, then that's gonna be challenging because I'll have to be someone to please him instead of being the real me-- with obligations and things on my calendar besides just him. We gotta accept ourselves and be OK with the people who walk away.
Very important message at the perfect moment. Brian, I said no again today and I meant it again today! It is hard recovering from co-dependency. But your video today was just golden. We will get better. Yes.
Bull's eye! Ive been doing just this and it's amazing how he comes running to you. And the best part is even though you like him somewhere you realize your own power and feel so empowered and free!
This was AMAZING!!!! One of the top 3 advice videos I've ever seen. This is spot on and HUGE for women. For me right now, this gave me the courage to just be me. Thank you
I went out with two of my female friends. After about an hour and a half I had to tell them this,.."please tell me why we are three grown women and we just wasted an hour-and-a-half talking about guys that probably aren't even thinking about us. Why are we wasting our time is there nothing else to do is there nothing more to life what is your passion do you have hobbies what is the deal?? we are smart intelligent beautiful lovely strong independent women why are we talkin about stupid crap!?"
Thank you for putting another puzzle piece together for me. I’ve just had a self-protective “NO” to every man on the planet for thirty years because I KNEW I wasn’t in a good place to take care of myself that way and protect myself while being out in relationships. So that is how I learned that I could protect myself. I have crushes from afar. That’s it. I don’t let anyone in, because I let men treat me disrespectfully because I wasn’t raised to love and respect myself and treat myself well. But having an impenetrable, barricaded fortress blocking out all men, in place of the strong, confident, self-respecting part of myself, is not a good replacement. But it was the only way I knew how to protect myself. I’d rather reach and draw out that strong part of myself. I think it’s pretty sexy too, to value yourself enough to not take any s*** from anyone. Men included. So I’m a lot of years behind in learning it. I refuse to get involved with any man until I am in that strong, confident, self-valuing space inside myself. A man who’s attracted to HER is the kind of man I want. I will not settle for less.
Wonderful. And so essential. The power behind the word 'No'. In spite of its highly negative implications, its very presence can bring a positive change...I'm doing exactly this at the moment and its coz its essential for me and not drama. Thanks so very much 😇❤
Everything you said is what I do and it totally works. I have guys that will come after to me while they're married, after they divorce and I still say no because I figured them out very quickly and will say no in a heartbeat. They are players and use to women saying yes to them. Do not ever settle.
Omg I love you Brian. Thank you. So valuable, addresses exactly where I’m at right now. Devouring your videos and will be looking into your books and podcast!🙏🏼💜🙏🏼
I love this. Thank you for your advice. I'm enjoying your videos and you come across as genuine. I think I've finally found my guy and we're clear about not playing games. It's interesting that this relationship is showing the most turmoil in the first few months and yet I'm the most certain about him. I set my boundaries and though I'm usually pretty easy going, I'm also not afraid to say "No" when it comes to something that doesn't work for me. And he is the same. I guess I've finally come to the age where I'm just tired of playing games and not afraid of saying, "Next" should it not work out. And it's working out. Thank you again and keep making great videos!
You are by FAR the best counselor on these topics...I sooo wish I could personally get your advice... thank you for doing what you do...most ...all the others I've listened to are not giving any thing except what should be totally common sense... are talking like they're making it up on the fly... totally valueless to any intelligent person... please keep doing what you do!!
This is very important message and the guy I am interested in was actually trying to say this but used different wording and I didn’t get it fully or make the connection until I heard this video. Now I understand what he was trying to say. Thank you. 🙂
Some guy who was trying to get me involved with a reasonable amount of bs last night leaned forward to kiss me and I just said "no, not yet" in my sexiest voice. The look on his face was priceless. Glad to have found this video today!
😃You are genius!!! 👍 When I fall in love I become fool and then I’ll always say yes even if I don’t like certain things. That’s why my relationships never last long. Just recently I realized my problem and you confirmed it now! Thank you!!!
I'm not afraid of saying "NO" I feel if he's feeling the way towards me he will stick around. If not than I'm not wasting my my time or heart with him.
I like those words you said, Brian, about "He gets your manual. He learns that if he's not compatible with what you desire in a long-term relationship, he'd better pack his bags."
I love your videos and I want to get your books soon ❤ You are one of the few male dating coaches I trust. I love how you explain everything with so much depth and intellect. You really provide an analytical insight into the behavioural patterns of human nature.
Well this actually works. I tried this without actually knowing and this man changed his whole way of being. I was just tired of his games and he changed his tune with me when I set boundaries
Damn! Brian is 💯% spot on ladies! I know dudes ain't tryna hear this, but the truth is we really do want to know the real you that we have to live with everyday so that we will know if we can live with you everyday. Women are excellent at charades until they aren't any more. And, when you switch up on us then we're confused AF! Lesser men will cheat because he simply can't understand the change of pace. The rejection will destroy his ego. But, you don't want him anyway. Yes, be who you really are early and often so that we can figure out whether you're for us or not. However, if you do love us, make sure that we can always feel that, so that when our demons are trying to tell us to just walk away, we actually can't because we know your love is real. BTW, if you're sexual with us and you decide to tell us "no" too often, then it will affect our confidence and self esteem, so be careful. Even in that, if you aren't as sexual as him and he's often frustrated, then that's not gonna work in the long run. Best to nip that in the bud early and find someone more compatible.
You're not entitled to sex unless you're married and even then, there are limits. Sex should be enthusiastically engaged in by both parties not out of some sense of "You owe me!" If she doesn't want to have sex with you, you should dig deep into communication with her to find out why not, and if it can be fixed. If she don't want you, she don't want you.
@@TheVerbalAssassinFAFO I'm pretty sure I didn't imply that either party is entitled to sex. And, as you said, if she don't want you then she don't want you. Truth! That's why I said sexual frustration is never good. It leads to miscommunication and cheating. It's better to just leave those situations when both parties aren't on the same page. Typically, you can't have a deep talk about desire and it changes anything. But, if a woman is wielding her sexual power over a man to gain favor, then expect him to respond to that in ways where her power will ultimately disintegrate. My solution was to let go of the woman. When I did let go she thought I was joking and tried everything in her power to change up. My mind was set. I didn't cheat on her or disrespect her. I simply said to her that I can't ask her for something she's not capable of giving and left it at that. I was frustrated with not getting my needs met while I was completely satisfying hers. Real men don't compound problems by bringing other women into it. We try to get our needs met by the one we've invested everything in. And, if she just can't do it then she can't do it. There's nothing more frustrating than lying in bed with someone you want to be intimate with and they're turned off to you. It's demoralizing and time to go, honestly!
Thank you Brian, I just subscribed to your channel today because of this video. I've always been afraid to say no because of the possibility of losing out on a good thing. The thing is we can't mess up a good thing with a man if he truly is in it for the long haul. We need to raise our value and say no when it's a no.
This is a very important message. Having boundaries is so important. No way would I say yes to a 10 p.m. booty call! I don't care if he's hotter than Johnny Depp. You are right, the hormones of love can lead us to make really poor choices.
Awesome advice! I wish I would have found you sooner! I can't wait to watch more of your videos...Thanks for awesome advice! Blessed to have found you☺️
This advice is spot on. I have been both of these women. The nice, accommodating, not "difficult" woman got little respect and definitely no lasting love. When I decided to put my feelings first and say NO, stand up for myself when I didnt like something and show that I could and would walk away, is when true love found me. He became my husband but unfortunately he passed away. However, I am now that "difficult" woman and although it sends most men packing, that's good because those are guys who only want to use me and waste my time. Listen to Brian, ladies. The RIGHT man will fall head over heels for you if you stay true to yourself and call him out when he needs it. Self-love and self-respect are the most important values to have in dating. If he's going to leave you because you're not a doormat, he's simply not the right guy for you and probably not for anyone. Let him WALK. Another is RIGHT down the road.
TheVerbalAssassin, you are 100% spot on!
Right, but if you say what you mean, complain and critisize things you don't like, you will probably end up alone.
@@Whoeverwhateverwhenever Maybe that's your reality. It isn't mine. Good luck with that type of low-vibrational thought process. If you don't believe in and know your worth, then yes, you will end up alone, even within a "relstionship". I'll pass. The most important and best relationship is the one you have with yourself. Get your mind right or you're gonna always lose in this game. Peace and Blessings to you.
@@TheVerbalAssassinFAFO well, my reality is that I always say if I don't like something. But they get tired of this and go away. I see that many guys prefer calm women who don't fuck their brain.
Absolutely! I tasted once the nice agreeable one and it send me to hell for 5 long years. Barely got recovered from that place and not without deep scars
Saying "no" is not about controlling or manipulating the situation, it's about respecting yourself and setting boundries and knowing when to walk away.
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Absolutely
I always said, "If you wouldn't let one of your friends get away with it, why would you let a man get away with it?" Thank you Geert!
Saying no is powerful. It teaches people how to treat you and shows respect for yourself. The hardest thing is saying no when you want to say yes but you know you would be disrespecting yourself in the long run.
Stay strong because some day you will look back and be thankful for that” no”.
So the message i get: "don't fall in love before He falls in Love with you first"
Idk why but this message just inspired me
I always tell my friends that or He NEEDS to love you more
I like to be true to myself , to my feelings, if i am falling I am not trying to hide! It s good to let your feelings be known ...
Then I could see how he react toward me. And be prepared for whatever come out.
Similar advice appeared in Pride and Prejudice about 200 years ago. The more things change, the more they stay the same.
@@edennis3202 obviously, humanity has been the same...
Also, don't cancel arrangements with girl friends when the guy you're interested in asks you out.
Yeah... make a man feel that he is the fifth wheel on the cart is certainly a great strategy. Let me tell you: No, it isn't. At least, I want to see the same amount of commitment from her than I am putting into this. You can play it a few times if you think you want to trigger his hunting instincts, but a sane man who not only respects you, but also himself, will only take it a few times, then leave.
@@linuxpython935 Why should someone cancel plans they already had because YOU asked them out? That is what she is saying. Don't cancel plans you already made because someone asked you out. If you can't manage to accept that, then why are you worth dating?
@@gusmonster59 I am not saying that she should always cancel her plans, but in my opinion, taking the other party's interests into account is important to get along. If one side always makes other plans independently of their spouse, that's a recipe for disaster. If a lady would do that to me, I would definitely conclude that I am sort of a dessert to her, but not nearly as important as she should hold me, if she wants me to trust her that she'll stay around, and if she wants me to stay around. Conversely, I would also try to accommodate her interest to some reasonable degree, so we would both have our girls or guys night out independently, but we would also have occasions where we would cancel other arrangements - because for me, family comes first, everytime. If she can't be that committed, I am probably glad to get away from her rather sooner than later.
Yes amen
Linux Python I agree. I'm 65 so I've seen a few things. A woman's friends are her friends until they 1. move away, which happens to almost everyone or 2. find their own man. 99% of the time, female friends aren't going to be there 5 or 10 years from now. Why would a woman pass up the opportunity to create her own family? That's self-defeating. As wise women say to their daughters, don't listen to your friends; they'll make sure that you lose (or never get) your happy home.
Normally when a woman stops loving her partner that's the time he's ready to give her all the love that she no longer needs. I guess this is so because she develops the strength and courage to say 'no' and also ignores him. It does work but only when the ladies already given up on the relationship.
This was precisely my experience.
saying no will make him go away from u? not attract him as said in the video
@@trishadash9938 Saying no will make him doubt everything and start reevaluating everything he knows. Even the most attractive and high self esteemed guy will do that. Their train of thought is usually "why isn't she calling me back?", "why doesn't she want to spend time with me anymore?", "why doesn't she love me back?". Trust me, every time I decided to ignore and reject a guy I spent to much of my time and effort into, they came back crawling, like lost puppies who just wanted a minute of my attention. It's exhausting and "fake", in my opinion. But they never wanted my genuine self, my open and honest self. It seems they like mind games. Ugh.
@@iulia.bianca.b if your genuine honest self is mostly rebuffing a guy that you claim to like, then you really don't like that guy. The whole idea behind saying "no" sometimes is based on a man behaving badly. Maybe he's tryna get you to open a line of credit to help him pay for something. It doesn't have to be sexual, you should say "no" to that and examine why he needs it or can't do it himself. If you really don't feel like being sexual, then say not tonight. But, do let him know that you still love and desire him. Or, to take all of the confusion about sex away, wait until he marries you. Men are the gate keepers of the relationship and women are the gate keepers of sex. We want what the other has so the power struggle is real. I read a ton of stuff and I'm not getting the idea that women truly want marriage any more. It seems to me that they just want sex partners like men. So, there's really no power struggle to be had if everyone just wants uncommitted sex. But, if you suddenly want a viable relationship with a dude you've been sexual with, and you start power struggling, then expect to fail in that relationship.
My point is this, women at the very minimum, should demand a monogamous relationship with a man before she agrees to sex. And, it's ok if you even want to wait until marriage. But, if you think you can start off playing sex games before any real commitments happen, then you're being foolish.
I just find this very interesting. I find it very hard to love someone who don't love me right back. Typically when someone don't love you they stop asking you to fulfill their needs and they stop fulfilling his needs. That means "time to go" in my book!
I agree Brian, I will not compromise my body,my faith, or morals for any man!! and he knows now that I am not afraid of losing him!! my mama taught me that.... "another bus is always coming"
Love it
The man I'm dating, I'm doing exactly what you are saying & I tell him I won't put up with "that" & he's making me pull away from him. He tells me he's afraid of losing me & apologies & respects my boundaries.
After 2 bad marriages with narcissists I will never again just be just a pleaser & I will never again be with a man who doesn't truely value me.
Arminta Nelson good for you! Yes!
RUN
Wow, hiw didn't you come to avoid the second narcissist?
Amen.
Well done girl!! 😁 X
Wow, I wish I had heard this advice years ago. I set boundaries with my first ex, but then he pushed them and pressured me, and I gave in. It turned out to be an abusive relationship, and I didn’t leave until 3 kids and 13 years later. Did the same thing with the 2nd. Finally, I’ve gotten free, have had counseling and a lot of inner healing, and I’m trying to learn how to enter the dating world again. He’s right, ladies. Set those boundaries early on, and stick to them. If you’re insecure, you don’t value yourself, and you let these men control you, predators will smell that from miles off! Get counseling and help before you think about starting a relationship. Wish I had. ❤
Right on advice. Being a pleaser sends a wrong message. Lesson learned only too late.
nacardelmar Right. That's why Nice Guys strike out with you Chicks.
Me too
It's never too late...😉
@@midnighttarot3161 thank you for that. I was people pleasing for 23 years and seems they run after me when I finally walk away.
So glad I came across this video, just wish it was sooner. Was in a relationship for 22 years and was a people pleaser. Than met my twin flame and also was a people pleaser for 2 years and finally have put up boundaries. He keeps trying to test them now and I'm no longer allowing it.
"Don't let that in-love you sit at the wheel in your lovelife. She's supposed to be the passenger". Love it!
I don't agree that
Are you going through manifestation issues right now contact Cheif divinity to solve your problems
Whatxapp him.
+ 2 3 4 7 0 1 3 8 3 6 9 3 7..
To me, a good relationship doesn't require games. It should be easy to communicate. If it's not and he won't open up to you, move on!
Agreed
Exactly. Why all the mind games?? One minute they like you the next, they don't want to know. Can't be a people pleaser, but please your man so he don't stray. It's too much, lol. Show love don't show love. When does it end, when two people can truly just treat each other with love all the time. Not too much to ask for is it.
Word
Games are for immature idiots
Truth
Holy crap!!!! You are so right!!!! When I felt romantic love was superficial, focused on my kids and my career, men who were interested never seemed to lose interest for years. No matter how often they were rejected! When I decided I want to be in a relationship and found a guy I was interested in, after several dates I found myself becoming this insecure, needy, frankly an embarrassing version of myself that I didn’t recognize. Very unattractive! My life was full without a man it should remain full with a man..... happy me happy man
I hope everything is well for you, but I just want to let you know "holy crap" is insulting to God
I once had a guy I’d been dating for about four months ask me, “if someone asks you to sign a pre-nup before marriage, would you do it?” His family was fairly wealthy. My response was, “No. I don’t start a marriage by planning for the divorce.” He was shocked and his cousin fell over laughing. I added, “If you feel you need to ask a woman to sign a pre-nup before marrying her...then stop. You’re not marrying the right person.” I broke up with him a month later and he did go on to marry a beautiful woman and he didn’t ask her to sign any papers. They’ve been married twenty-five years.
Good for you. He is not the right man the.
Are you going through manifestation issues right now contact Cheif divinity to solve your problems.
Whatxapp him.
+ 2 3 4 7 0 1 3 8 3 6 9 3 7..
Every marriage comes with a pre-nup, it’s just one that’s pre-defined. Any financial planner will tell you: get. A. Prenup. Custom. Made. It’s not preloading for a divorce, it’s about securing your financial future no matter what.
If a man isn’t willing to lay his life down for you, don’t give him access to your mind, body, or soul. We as women ARE the PRIZE. Show it, live it, and don’t feel bad for saying “NO”. Sometimes, showing a man that you’re serious will make him realize you are Queen. If you keep letting him have his way, and allowing him to be disrespectful to you he will continue the same behavior. Love yourself first, allow God to be in control, and everything else will fall into its rightful place. Love & light Queens! 💫❤️
I’m in a relationship now with a man I genuinely shot down in the beginning. I was genuinely rude because I had my children with me, had just gotten off work and was tired and in NO MOOD to talk to “some random dude”...I now get a real man outta this dude. He goes above and beyond for me without me asking him for anything at all...I’m so in love with this man now too💯❤️🥰
☺️ Just remember to keep the attitude from the time you didn't love him
I'm glad for you 😊. But my gut feeling tells me no he doesn't want anything else no dinner nothing I feel he doesn't put out I not putting out it crazy my second husband I put out with him we did marry he live 9 yrs together before he died he was the best. I love his so. But my gut feeling tells me no on this one I think he might be married or something thanks
@@debramiles5176 , always trust your intuition when it tells you something is off. Wise woman! ☺️
This is so true. I was the nice one, to the point of putting up with too much crap..hard to be a b--ch, I guess! So, "you will always be there for me"! Taken for granted.. now I am older, know better. But, if I knew THEN what I know NOW! Wow!😊
Yayyyy 🔥
The guy I like called me a snob and judgmental for taking a strong stance. I said if he doesn't like to hear my thoughts he should stop talking to me AND I walked away. Guess who sought me out repeatedly a few days after? ;)
The only men that like push overs are abusive type.
Wish I could give you two thumbs up. Couldn’t agree more.
Well said❗❗❗❗❗
Run. He's not respecting your boundaries.
Totally agree
Just for the record, I’m a pretty ‘hard-ass’ sort yet I married (& divorced) a sociopath. True the ‘pushovers’ are the ones abusive people flock to, yet a trait the sociopath deems worthy is what they prize. I am strong-willed which he wanted to be (told me all the time it’s what he loved most about me.) A sociopath feels they can ‘acquire’ traits from people. Just to say, abuse can happen to anyone used to abusive people in their lives (unhealed childhood trauma, for me.) If there’s a crack they will find a way in.
Edit : The first comment he made to me when we met, ‘You’re a bitch’, bc I voiced my strong stance. We were just acquaintances for 5 yrs then dated. My point being he waited for 5 yrs, dated/engaged for almost 2 yrs, literally the day we got married the abuse began. I know you won’t take my advice & that’s ok, but here’s the seed I’m planting for you. GO & don’t look back.
The one for you will show LOVE, not hate, when they first meet you.
I told my boyfriend I wouldn't be in a relationship as the only giver. He's been all in ever since. =-)
I'm sincerely happy for you! I will try!
The gentle Nympha I think the secret not so secret is self love. You need to carry it with you in every situation. It doesn’t mean you don’t have bad days and experience and emotional break down every now and then. You just learn to love yourself where you are at. You will attract more of the right type of people, and be choosey enough to say no. Don’t overlook any personality flaws you know you cannot live with. Let a man treat you right, because you deserve it.
@@misskat7437 Thank you for the advices. But I'm really broken and I don't have any strength to react. It was nice of you by the way.
Girl you are the woman you shouldn't be giving him shit in the first place🙄
You need a UA-cam channel lol❣️❣️
Always maintain your high standards. Don't compromise your morals and values.
learn to say NO!
This is how a man learns to respect you
This is how you respect yourself.
Yea well I said no and he never called again !
I am a student of this lesson indeed. No really works. I used to be so accommodating. Then the blinders came off of my eyes. He was taking full advantage of my kindness. I turned it off and turned the situation around. Now, he chases me.....Love it.
Same thing happened over here!!
How did you change the situation
@@margaritaborisova8165 I started saying no when I was saying yes to things that I didn't agree with. I showed him in the kindest way that I have boundaries.
This is a really great message, Brian. We women need to watch this a few times and let it sink in. Who we "really are" is a person worthy of being loved. We need the real "us" to stay in charge of our love life at all times.
You are so correct. I really for someone and completely changed myself the after 17 months I said no to what was always a yes and he dipped out the same night. I dodged a bullet and learned a very valuable lesson!
This man is the god of relationships. He knows exactly what he is talking about and it works! Relationships are work, hard work. It's our thoughts and actions (or lack thereof) that makes or breaks a good relationship. Those who say they don't want to "play games" are too lazy to afford a successful, long lasting relationship. There is no "magic pill" to a successful relationship. If you find the love of your life, it's worth the effort. But do take the time to love yourself first... This is the key to success in all aspects of life.
Love this!!!! So true!!!! I have experienced this, and I was just talking about it today with a friend. When we as woman lose the fear of losing a man, he will step up his game. I used to be the type to always please him, and then I finally set my boundaries, he started coming off to me. Sadly for him, I was over him. I think the key here is to learn to love yourself first, this shows others how you should be treated.
I'm remembered my past relationships & my mistakes, thanks for enlightening me, now I know what I did wrong. That's why people say to Love Yourself & now I fully understand why.
It was a very important message - thank you Brian 😊
I have always been so submissive with men I liked, I wasn’t myself at all... and the relationship never worked out or I would get taken advantage of. I still don’t know how not to be submissive but I know I need to change and build in strong boundaries and a life I love
What I realized after this video is that I totally ruined a relationship I might have had, and I think there’s no way back. We do talk sometimes, and he shares his life events with me, but it’s nothing like before. And this is the person who made me SO happy, whom I love wholeheartedly ( not the “ I have butterflies while looking at you” kind of love. More so” I want to spend my life with you” kind of love). Just, by nature I am someome who always tries to avoid dissappointing others, to avoid conflicts, and was never thought to have “ bounaries” with people.
I have learned now, I feel like I have growm a lot since we split. But it’s just so sad fo realized I’d ruined everything by just not being strong enough.
We all grow over time; it's part of being human. Maybe you two will end up together again; maybe you will end up with someone even more amazing. Keep moving forward, and expect the future to bring you delightful surprises. 🙂
I apreciate your words. When one starts being "Unavailable" and show that you have had enough, makes him think about his actions. That he has not given value! Be your true self.
This is what I needed. CONFIRMATION! You have made me a very happy woman! I sometimes forget just how much power the word "no" has. And I will continue to set boundaries. I'm no pushover. And "he" knows that by now. Thank you!!!!
Yeah always been a pleaser and giver.Learning about boundaries. Not caring about the "progress" of the relationship is the key..Living with uncertainty and getting on with your own life..Being happy with self..Think friendship is important first..Let it develop naturally, not forced.
Thanks yes
Thank you I didn’t realize being overly nice is giving yourself away.
The in love version of us is WEAK 😅💯 that version should always be the passenger! Love this 👏🏼
So basically act like u don't give a shit anymore
Honestly I think the best advice in a relationship is space which is basically saying no and doing your own thing for a couple of hours or days. Also Allow them to learn the real you. That's how you know if they can tolerate you or not. Always hold yourself back until both are ready.
Excellent advise!! On and off with a man and now he has reached out to communicate. I’ve decided to do exactly what you said and am completely willing to walk away. He has been texting and calling like never before! I’m completely free of trying to make it work! I’m worth more and have my true respect of myself. Thank you!
This guy is brilliant! I’ve started learning this now at age 36 and I so wish I had found these advises a bunch of years ago but hey it’s never too late.
This makes sense out of what I am going through RIGHT NOW. I started prioritizing what I did and letting him know I'm not gonna jump when wants my attention, he's more attentive now and saying things that shows he wants me around more instead of tippy toeing what he admits.
Yes, thanks for sharing this.When we women know who we really are we can set boundaries in our lives, and the word NO will be one of the most effective words we can use.
I really love your calm and loving manner in your videos!
Greets from Germany :)
True: being able to say no is really important! Thank you for reminding us! 😊
My thing is I have this thing called the 6 month rule...which is something I don't break because before I give up the goods he needs to PROVE he LOVES me
Men will wait for years. Ths rule stinks. If he commits then it’s ok.
What are your requirements for him to prove his love for you?
I love you Heath for making me understand things nobody really talks about 🙌🏼
I LOVE your videos!!! Lucid and effective, and the delivery is ADORABLE! So genuine and sweet. Thanks, Brian!
agreed. And thank you for the precious confirmation of what I'm feeling is the right thing to do...
You know this absolutely works one hundred percent..I have learned my man very well...and if there are things he says or does that I dont appreciate...he will back off especially if I flat out say NO...
He will have an attitude change..or soften his voice...or reply " alright babe" ...on occasion he has even said.." okay boss"...thats so funny. And Brian I have said no many times..and you are right...he always comes back more sweet...more understanding..compassionate. ..bottom line. ...hes not goin anywhere and shows more love..
I love your channel. ...you are always spot on...your a good man an thanks for all you do for the women of this world...
Myself included..thanks..!!!
Until he finds a woman who say yes oooh yes then you are in the shit
@@hulkgreen6786 Thanks for ypur reply Mr. Green...but I'm no longer with him. No need to reply...thanks
Sir, You are ABSOLUTELY CORRECT
So true! You validated what I did over the weekend. Thank you! And he is pouting right now. 😀
Exactly the same here (did it on sunday 😁). We're not affraid to rock the boat, are we?
Brian, Sir, I salute You. I´ve seen this clip a couple of months ago. And I just saw again today. And today it ALL made senesce!!! The 'woman-in-love'-you is not the real, real you!!! You are golden!!! Handing us women, golden wisdom in a way that I, as woman, understand, value and appreciate immensely. Thank You from the bottom of my heart!!!
You have a wonderful way of explaining things with gracious simplicity. I appreciate you. And yes, I totally agree with you. I have found this all to be true. It isn't always easy - especially when you want the relationship so much, but this is essential!
I could hug you Brian. This made so much sense, like a missing piece of the puzzle. What you said, it's true. I've heard others attempt to explain this but were not impactful. You were thorough, so thanks much! ♡
That falling in love is Twin Flame love. Twin Flame love is simply amazing.
That doesn't exist. Keep dreaming
I love how you helped me understand that it's not a bad thing to be myself when in love with someone. I used to think that being myself with him would scare him off quickly or even slowly so with that being said I put up with his shameful behavior. The ghosting, the ignoring, the one word text, or the "Hey you busy" text. He would treat me beautiful in front of my friends and his friends and my family ... but when we were apart he was a whole different person? Treated us like we weren't a couple. I wouldn't hear from him for hours then it was days then weeks then months? Then when I'd decided to move on he'd come back, treat me beautifully once again but it all starts up again. So it's time I be myself and put an end to this bad behavior and receive my happiness. I need to stop tolerating this kind of behavior.
To be fair, you can't even really be in a relationship with someone else if you're not yourself. What that means is that the other person is in a relationship with a fake person because you're not really 'you', and you lose yourself. You should always want to be loved for being you, for being who you are, exactly as you are, and the only way to do that is by fearlessly being yourself. x
Sir, this is absolutely TRUE!!!!!
You are amazing! I can't thank you enough for opening my eyes! I am so thankful that I have found your videos in the most difficult time in my life! You managed to calm me down, prevent my panic attacks from bursting out and make me understand his actions!
Love it! Thank you! We do need to say no when it is called for.
I was just watching another coach talk about this "challenge". Sounded exhausting UNTIL I understood that it's only exhausting if he's the wrong guy and I am depending on him for an emotional high.
The difference comes when I have my own friends and goals and I'm not sucked in by the guy. That's how the RIGHT guy will stay.
If I'm trying to make the wrong guy stay, then that's gonna be challenging because I'll have to be someone to please him instead of being the real me-- with obligations and things on my calendar besides just him.
We gotta accept ourselves and be OK with the people who walk away.
Wow! Thank you Brian. Great confirmation that I am doing the right thing. Even tho my man sometimes thinks i am just "being difficult".
Wow ... had no idea that I was doing this right ... lol
Needed to hear this one !!
Thanks for the validation 💯‼
Your right being yourself is key!
Very important message at the perfect moment. Brian, I said no again today and I meant it again today! It is hard recovering from co-dependency. But your video today was just golden. We will get better. Yes.
Bull's eye! Ive been doing just this and it's amazing how he comes running to you. And the best part is even though you like him somewhere you realize your own power and feel so empowered and free!
This was AMAZING!!!! One of the top 3 advice videos I've ever seen. This is spot on and HUGE for women. For me right now, this gave me the courage to just be me. Thank you
I went out with two of my female friends. After about an hour and a half I had to tell them this,.."please tell me why we are three grown women and we just wasted an hour-and-a-half talking about guys that probably aren't even thinking about us. Why are we wasting our time is there nothing else to do is there nothing more to life what is your passion do you have hobbies what is the deal?? we are smart intelligent beautiful lovely strong independent women why are we talkin about stupid crap!?"
Getting your fish poked is the only thing legit nothing else matter don’t you know this by now ladies
I love your lessons because they empower women in the world of relationships. It also helps men to be responsible in relationships
You have refined and structured ideas about relationships, a higher/deeper level that makes you a real king. I love your videos!
Thank you for putting another puzzle piece together for me. I’ve just had a self-protective “NO” to every man on the planet for thirty years because I KNEW I wasn’t in a good place to take care of myself that way and protect myself while being out in relationships.
So that is how I learned that I could protect myself. I have crushes from afar. That’s it. I don’t let anyone in, because I let men treat me disrespectfully because I wasn’t raised to love and respect myself and treat myself well.
But having an impenetrable, barricaded fortress blocking out all men, in place of the strong, confident, self-respecting part of myself, is not a good replacement. But it was the only way I knew how to protect myself.
I’d rather reach and draw out that strong part of myself. I think it’s pretty sexy too, to value yourself enough to not take any s*** from anyone. Men included.
So I’m a lot of years behind in learning it. I refuse to get involved with any man until I am in that strong, confident, self-valuing space inside myself. A man who’s attracted to HER is the kind of man I want. I will not settle for less.
one of the best videos I have watched on relationship advice!!
EXCELLENT!!! A simple yet Powerful Truth!!! "NO"...💯🎯
Wonderful. And so essential. The power behind the word 'No'. In spite of its highly negative implications, its very presence can bring a positive change...I'm doing exactly this at the moment and its coz its essential for me and not drama. Thanks so very much 😇❤
Everything you said is what I do and it totally works. I have guys that will come after to me while they're married, after they divorce and I still say no because I figured them out very quickly and will say no in a heartbeat. They are players and use to women saying yes to them. Do not ever settle.
YESSSSSSS new one of you youre the best ~I really wish it was weekly!
Let me just apply this to the fictional relationship in my head
; )
Yes, you should, you'd be starting to adapt the idea of self value and with practice comes experience, helps you prepared for real life events
Same 😂
Are you going through manifestation issues right now contact Cheif divinity to solve your problems
Whatxapp him.
This is Powerful and so True. I'M a woman and I've been there.
Omg I love you Brian.
Thank you.
So valuable, addresses exactly where I’m at right now. Devouring your videos and will be looking into your books and podcast!🙏🏼💜🙏🏼
Absolutely true. I have seen so many videos of yours. Gained so much confidence in dealing with..
Thx a million.
I love this. Thank you for your advice. I'm enjoying your videos and you come across as genuine. I think I've finally found my guy and we're clear about not playing games. It's interesting that this relationship is showing the most turmoil in the first few months and yet I'm the most certain about him. I set my boundaries and though I'm usually pretty easy going, I'm also not afraid to say "No" when it comes to something that doesn't work for me. And he is the same. I guess I've finally come to the age where I'm just tired of playing games and not afraid of saying, "Next" should it not work out. And it's working out. Thank you again and keep making great videos!
You are by FAR the best counselor on these topics...I sooo wish I could personally get your advice... thank you for doing what you do...most ...all the others I've listened to are not giving any thing except what should be totally common sense... are talking like they're making it up on the fly... totally valueless to any intelligent person... please keep doing what you do!!
What you said is a very good approach to also loving and appreciating yourself first.
This is very important message and the guy I am interested in was actually trying to say this but used different wording and I didn’t get it fully or make the connection until I heard this video. Now I understand what he was trying to say. Thank you. 🙂
Thank you so, so much, Brian. I am going through this very issue right now. You're helping me to stay strong!
Some guy who was trying to get me involved with a reasonable amount of bs last night leaned forward to kiss me and I just said "no, not yet" in my sexiest voice. The look on his face was priceless. Glad to have found this video today!
Thank you Brian!!! Love to listen you!! So helpful! And makes me almost cry!
😃You are genius!!! 👍
When I fall in love I become fool and then I’ll always say yes even if I don’t like certain things. That’s why my relationships never last long. Just recently I realized my problem and you confirmed it now! Thank you!!!
I'm not afraid of saying "NO" I feel if he's feeling the way towards me he will stick around. If not than I'm not wasting my my time or heart with him.
I like those words you said, Brian, about "He gets your manual. He learns that if he's not compatible with what you desire in a long-term relationship, he'd better pack his bags."
You make more sense than most of those love gurus on UA-cam.I love hearing what you have to say..
This is on point!! Boundaries are so important!!
I love your videos and I want to get your books soon ❤ You are one of the few male dating coaches I trust. I love how you explain everything with so much depth and intellect. You really provide an analytical insight into the behavioural patterns of human nature.
Well this actually works. I tried this without actually knowing and this man changed his whole way of being. I was just tired of his games and he changed his tune with me when I set boundaries
Damn! Brian is 💯% spot on ladies! I know dudes ain't tryna hear this, but the truth is we really do want to know the real you that we have to live with everyday so that we will know if we can live with you everyday. Women are excellent at charades until they aren't any more. And, when you switch up on us then we're confused AF! Lesser men will cheat because he simply can't understand the change of pace. The rejection will destroy his ego. But, you don't want him anyway. Yes, be who you really are early and often so that we can figure out whether you're for us or not. However, if you do love us, make sure that we can always feel that, so that when our demons are trying to tell us to just walk away, we actually can't because we know your love is real. BTW, if you're sexual with us and you decide to tell us "no" too often, then it will affect our confidence and self esteem, so be careful. Even in that, if you aren't as sexual as him and he's often frustrated, then that's not gonna work in the long run. Best to nip that in the bud early and find someone more compatible.
Brilliantly explained 👌
❤ thank you
You're not entitled to sex unless you're married and even then, there are limits. Sex should be enthusiastically engaged in by both parties not out of some sense of "You owe me!" If she doesn't want to have sex with you, you should dig deep into communication with her to find out why not, and if it can be fixed. If she don't want you, she don't want you.
@@TheVerbalAssassinFAFO I'm pretty sure I didn't imply that either party is entitled to sex. And, as you said, if she don't want you then she don't want you. Truth! That's why I said sexual frustration is never good. It leads to miscommunication and cheating. It's better to just leave those situations when both parties aren't on the same page. Typically, you can't have a deep talk about desire and it changes anything. But, if a woman is wielding her sexual power over a man to gain favor, then expect him to respond to that in ways where her power will ultimately disintegrate. My solution was to let go of the woman. When I did let go she thought I was joking and tried everything in her power to change up. My mind was set. I didn't cheat on her or disrespect her. I simply said to her that I can't ask her for something she's not capable of giving and left it at that. I was frustrated with not getting my needs met while I was completely satisfying hers. Real men don't compound problems by bringing other women into it. We try to get our needs met by the one we've invested everything in. And, if she just can't do it then she can't do it. There's nothing more frustrating than lying in bed with someone you want to be intimate with and they're turned off to you. It's demoralizing and time to go, honestly!
Very nicely said, William! It's great to hear a man's point of view.... especially an honest one, such as this! I totally agree!
Indeed, a powerful simple word. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you Brian, I just subscribed to your channel today because of this video. I've always been afraid to say no because of the possibility of losing out on a good thing. The thing is we can't mess up a good thing with a man if he truly is in it for the long haul. We need to raise our value and say no when it's a no.
I have been both people too and not realized it! What an epiphany. Thank you Brian for making this so clear!!
Indeed, one simple and tremendously important message: the No
No always no
Because the right guy should take effort.Great advice. She is a confident lady.
This is a very important message. Having boundaries is so important. No way would I say yes to a 10 p.m. booty call! I don't care if he's hotter than Johnny Depp. You are right, the hormones of love can lead us to make really poor choices.
When you’re in a relationship 6 months on thanks to this god! Thank you !! I still watch your stuff though! ❤️
I really appreciate you, Brian!
You are the best relationship expert. Thank you. And I like the honesty in your words.
Awesome advice! I wish I would have found you sooner! I can't wait to watch more of your videos...Thanks for awesome advice! Blessed to have found you☺️
Boundaries and standards -- learn yours and listen to your gut -- great advice.