Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria - Why am I so sensitive? (ADHD symptoms)
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- Опубліковано 6 чер 2024
- Do you ever find yourself so sensitive to criticisms no matter how constructive it is?
Do you often find yourself overanalyze every person you are talking to, to see how they are reacting?
Do you find that sometimes you don’t even want to try because you’re afraid you’ll fail?
If you are someone with ADHD, a surprising but common explanation could be RSD - which is, Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria. It is one of the most overlooked symptoms of ADHD. Make sure you stick until the end of the video for a self-test to see if you experience RSD. Many of you will be surprised at how much you can relate to these questions if you have ADHD.
Link to RSD self-test:
www.additudemag.com/rejection...
References: ADDitude
Timestamps:
0:00 Intro
0:47 What is RSD?
1:33 What triggers RSD?
2:11 Outward signs of RSD
2:51 How RSD affects personality?
3:24 How RSD affects behaviours?
4:01 How RSD affects relationships?
4:14 How to get over RSD?
4:47 RSD Self-test
Welcome to The ADHD Mind! Where I share with you interesting facts, tips and inspirations on ADHD. My goal is to help us embrace our ADHD brains and find ways to reach our true potential in life. Hope you will enjoy these videos!
Timestamps:
0:00 Intro
0:47 What is RSD?
1:33 What triggers RSD?
2:11 Outward signs of RSD
2:51 How RSD affects personality?
3:24 How RSD affects behaviours?
4:01 How RSD affects relationships?
4:14 How to get over RSD?
4:47 RSD Self-test
This sounds just exactly like me !! The ADHD is me . I hate it . When it comes to some people , especially most of my family members I’m SOCIALLY HANDICAPPED. !!
Omg feeling alone in this adhd world no one around me understand me so it’s hard to open up wow this video helped me I want to over come and have good coping skills to help
It's me. I start crying at constructive criticism. It's debilitating
Me too
Me too but I try to not do it in front of people
…same was just about to…. Earlier when I did something wrong
You’re all children.
Same feeling. I empathize and working on courage to listen thru to solutions. It's really hard
That self test is my entire life. The "always thinking I'm about to get fired" really hits home
I can relate to a lot of questions here as well :)
This is literally me right now & it fucking suuucks
Oh gosh that’s me too. I don’t have ADHD but I do have an anxiety disorder
I am very scared to talk to other people, my whole life I've isolated myself from other people. I thought it was social anxiety but I learned about rsd a few weeks ago
Same here
@@SC-oi9wp You are never alone, brotha!!
We need to stop here and see the bigger picture:
1) medical industry is misdiagnosing us
2) CBT is giving false and wrong "medicine" and "cure" for "social anxiety" - in form of ABC method where if we are abused we must blame our brain and thoughts for feeling abused.
I have had this too my whole life.Same,I thought it was social anxiety.
I don’t always have depressive episodes when I get criticism, it depends on the criticism. I typically like when people tell me what I did right and telling me what I can do to improve. It depends on how the critique is given.
Totally agree on this. It depends on how you say it :)
Toxic people who nitpick our errors and mistakes as hidden agenda to make them feel superior and easy way to bully others.
Toxic people who demand that we do some first time task as if we are doing it for 30 years and expecting us to be perfect at it and react in rage and temper tantrums when we make first mistakes and mock or blame or make drama about it, as if it is catastrophe.
Toxic people who target other people's mistakes, errors, lack of knowledge and other people's flaw systematically, relentlessly, with agenda to harm, hurt and put someone down - not as a way to help, learn nor resolve issues - but to create the target as issue and make them feel incompetent.
These are not imagined - toxic people really do this on purpose and they are toxic and harmful and have agenda to destroy other people through criticism.
same here
i just read the title and immediately knew what this was gonna be , i struggle so hard with constant fear of rejection and jealousy of others it really affects me and others just think i’m being melodramatic but they don’t understand what it’s like having adhd
This thing has messed me up in so many ways throughout my life.
I am a dentist and i think my rsd has a positive and negative effects on my profession. I am a people pleaser and i can sense any signs of discomfort. So i always make sure patients feel secure and pain free. My patiens loves me but i struggle when they are unsatisfied. I become extremly nervous and disfunctional 🤦🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️
Wow i have never had a sensetive denist. God bless you . what a rare bied you are
I started crying during the self test because I have been trying to figure out what is wrong with me for so long! She just described the hell that is my life!
I know I've been diagnosed with ADHD
but never knew what u was feeling
I feel validated
I just found out of this myself. How do you get through each day?
Same. I always just thought I was just a weirdo and weakling. That may be true, but regardless, I am in fact psychologically ill through no fault of my own and that was never gonna give me a good chance in life. Can't believe that I was lucky to live long enough to finally put a name to the unbearable knot in my chest and stomach that has tortured me in moments of stress. I may never get better, and the prognosis isn't good, but when I go, I'll know that I had ADHD with a horrible case of RSD with it, and that hurt me more than any lack of intelligence or toughness on my part
RST is the one symptom I dislike about ADHD. I nearly slipped today but recognised it before it overtook me. It is a terrible negative emotion. So I am going to let it sit with me and I am going to kill it with positive thoughts and emotions. What I like about ADHD is hyper focusing. We are machines of the highest caliber when we are in that medative state. Negative thoughts and emotions get destroyed in minutes 💕💕
I just come from a family who talked with their ears and listened with their mouths. Expressing anything was unheard of, their ears were exhausted and focused on themselves. I gave up on social interactions, being that I have no one to turn to if I had questions.
It's so strange but now that RSD is being recognized and talked about, I want to cry at the acknowledgement. Out of sheer relief, because I think a big part of RSD is our disorder so rarely being seen, our needs for support and understanding not just going unmet, but deliberately ignored and punitive towards us. When RSD hits me, one of my most painful obsessive thought patterns is, "but I try SO HARD and they don't believe me! But it's true! I swear I am trying. I swear none of these mistakes are intentional! I'm telling the truth!" But they don't believe me. They'd rather stand in their anger, disappointment, and judgy ignorance than give me any credit for managing my condition the best I can. Nothing I say or do, no amount of validated scientific papers, my doctor's assurances, or other ADHDers saying they struggle in the same ways is ever enough proof for most neurotypical people in my life that ADHD, not my personality or moral fiber is the culprit behind my underperformance to their standards. They see bad character instead. Now people are starting to talk about how the chronic invalidation affects an already emotionally dysregulated person, and I feel like weeping because at last someone is at least seeing it.
Would it be possible to private-message you? I have more questions about the topic.
This is my parents in a nutshell!
I experience constant pangs of extreme emotional pain from rsd and suicidal ideation. Every other day I contemplate if life is worth living with this when no medications or therapies have helped me
I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through...Is there anyone you could talk to? Or a crisis line you can call?
Hi Devaski I am sorry to hear yr situation. I am going to pray for u. Prayer changes things. 🤗
I took the quiz, and I got a 22 out of 60. I guess going to therapy for 10+ years has helped me greatly when it comes to broadening my sense of awareness as well as my ability to maintain good relationships, even if some of them aren't perfect.... If anything however, this video has placed more validation for why regulating my emotions is so difficult in some cases. I'm grateful to not be in a relationship with anybody for now at least; going on a month now of being single. I realize that my last ex could have done a better job of trying to understand my ADHD on an emotional level, and I myself didn't have enough awareness on this one symptom at the time of us being together. Now it all makes sense!
Yes to literally every single question.
If i would have to describe the feeling i would say something like my chest sunk in or my blood ran cold or both together and to have this experience happen so often it forces me to stay away from the things i need and i wouldn't wish this feeling on my worst enemy
Yes...it is one of the worst feelings.
For anyone with RSD practice detachment - Its not gone yet - but its helped a bit
I just trust God is always going to work everything (good and bad) for my good!
After years of multiple misdiagnosis and feeling bad about myself, I feel and relate 100% to this. this is bringing me hope to learn and grow and finally work on improving my quality of life.
Well this was aimed directly at me, I can't beleive I've been describing these symptoms to doctors and this is the first I'm learning about this symptom I experience but never had a name to call it and doctors would get confused when I'm discribing this in long form.
Thank you. I feel like I have a new flag in my pocket I can communicate whats happening in short form.
Now I don't feel like I'm the only one this is happeneing to. Such a releif.
Yes, you're definitely not alone in this :)
I have been explaining my symptoms to doctors for years and this video just put a name to what goes on in my brain. I can relate to you! You are not alone! ❤️
trigger warning sxicxde - I almost ended it all last night after 3 bouts of rejection on the same day leaving all my plans out the window and me sitting in my car alone not knowing what i was doing. Im awaiting an adhd diagnosis at the moment but watching this has really helped understand whats going on and i think u a ton :)
I'm so glad that you're safe and sorry to hear that you're in so much pain right now. Remember that you're not alone and there is help ❤
@@theadhdmind9419 aw thankyou so much for your quick reply that was really lovely of you
@@jamiew.2718 How are you doing now?
@@ranc1977 I have a new job, new relationships and I'm functioning well thank you :)) when you're at your lowest often the only way to go is back up 💃💃
@@jamiew.2718 💘👍❣💕
All I can say when things don't work out it's like being hit by a truck and I also got ADHD
Omg....this is so me. I just wish I knew this when I was in my 20's. It would have changed my life.....
I had an intense emotional response to do you think you cannot go on feeling this way I had never fathomed that there was a possibility
I recently have been diagnosed with ADHD at 44 years old. Everytime I learn something new I see it in myself and I truly wish I had this knowledge and help when I was younger. RSD is a major symptom I have. Medication has helped especially with helping me to see the symptoms now that my mind has slowed down and I can focus better on one thing at a time. However RSD still hits me hard on a regular basis. I know my complex PTSD exacerbated it. But having it acknowledged and learning about it is extremely important for me because it helps me to understand I'm not all the traumatic mean things I was told most my life. Thanks for providing these videos.
Answered yes to all questions at the end, except for the first. I'm more likely to end up in tears, rather than rage...but then again, I often cry when I am furious, so who knows? ASD and ADHD here.
I have almost all those symptoms of ADSH. I always please others and forgot who I am, what I like
I can totally relate to that! Now that I know it has a name, the past finally makes so much sense to me now :)
I agree. People pleasing for so long that I have no personal goals, aspirations or pursuits and often feel lost. Like I’m not my own person. I live in this strange space of confusion and feel like I’m always just going with the wind. Idk what I want cuz it’s always been about what everyone else wants for me
As far as I know, I don't have ADHD but I do have RSD, as well as c-ptsd and hypersensitivity.
I feel light hearted after watching this. Thank you ❤️
The way I cried when I had to answer yes to e dragons of the assessment questions. This has been my whole life and I was just diagnosed with ADHD at 39. I am so grateful for this platform.
I have been recently diagnosed with adhd at the age of 31 so this topic is completely new for me. I took the rsd test and my score was 54/60. I'll let that sink in and also bring this topic to my doctor. Thanks for this video.
Oh wow. Rejection sensitivity. I have that extremely bad at work. I care way too much what my coworkers and managers think about me. I can't stand even being a minute late because I think they'll start hating me. If we're super busy at work, the workload isn't what stresses me out. It's the idea that my coworkers and managers are going to start judging me and criticizing me for how efficient I am. This gets so bad that I cry about it sometimes. People at work have started noticing that I'm very different than everybody else, and that I'm extremely sensitive. Which only compounds the problem further because not only am I sensitive, now I'm sensitive about being sensitive. I'm really harsh on myself when I do poorly and I hate the idea that people have to walk on eggshells around me. I started to hate myself and I really want to know what's wrong with me.
Clear and succinct summary.
I have never been diagnosed with ADHD or RSD, only GAD and MDD, but I have all of these RSD symptoms. I have been called overly sensitive and/or defensive countless times since I was a child. I have frequent arguments with my partner because I assume he is calling me stupid or judging me every time he criticizes something I've done. I got feedback at work about my tone being off in a meeting, and it was physically painful, the hurt I felt. I sobbed for three hours that night, several times the next day, and considered self harm. I avoid trying new things, meeting new people, and pushing myself to pursue a career I actually like. The older I get, the more the RSD-related issues seem to be the central issue in my life. I didn't have a word for it until I heard about it being an ADHD symptom. Can you have RSD without ADHD?
This is from a Google search asking if RSD is only with ADHD:
There's limited available research on exactly who experiences RSD and how common it is. But the condition seems to happen most often in people with ADHD. Experts have also linked it to other personality and mood disorders, but more research is necessary regarding who experiences this issue and how common it is.Aug 30, 2022
oh gods... yes, this is me exactly. My whole life. I was just recently diagnosed with ADHD combined type a few months ago, although I've been suspecting it for a few years ever since some of my friends were diagnosed and/or shared their diagnoses and I was relating to all of their symptoms. Had to seek professional help once all my unhealthy coping mechanisms started falling apart and my life got out of control. It still is out of control. But I'm trying really hard everyday to find and implement healthier coping strategies, and I promise that I'm not gonna stop trying. It's just so hard sometimes to stay positive and to believe things will ever get better when I'm facing the enormity of the patterns of my life.
This video speaks to me. I notice a pattern: I am lonely and go out. I commit some mistake or social faux pas. Berate myself for being an idiot. The intense feelings of recrimination continues the next few days, and I can barely work. I resolve to stay home, until I desire to go out again. I wish I can stop the feelings of awfulness. I wish I can just laugh it off.
Yep, this describes me exactly! But it's getting better with my own insight and awareness and with help from others (especially my amazing fiance). Thanks for the video, it was helpful 👍
You're welcome! I'm glad that you have your fiance's support and have found ways to overcome this!
Thank you for this ❤
Thank you for this! I've been dealing with this with someone in my life..
I amswered yes to 90% of your questions..i am going throught the comments and good to see that I am not alone..off lately i have been feeling so withdrawn and depressed and it has taken over my life
I hope you will get through this soon :)
It also needs to be recognised that RSD stunts personal growth because it's very difficult to interpret properly feedback from others
Thank you for this j finally know after years that there is nothing wrong with me i just have adhd and it makes me more sensitive
It’s funny, I’ve told people about how I scan people and scrutinize every word they say and analyze people to know how to be the person they want me to be.
I use to practice conversations with myself for talking to other people so that I knew exactly what to say. I’d have entire conversations figured out with “if that’s what they say, I’ll say this.”
Now I don’t leave my house much. Twice a week I go out, the rest I spend on home projects.
I have no idea if I have some version of this but it sounds very familiar to my life.
Wow how unfortunate. I so rarely faced any rejection so much so that a therapist friend of mine told me that to grow interpersonally I should allow some people an opportunity to reject me
This is interesting advice.... I have ADHD, but hardly anybody would be able to know or tell unless I say something about it upfront. I tend to internalize my feelings a lot because I don't want to be rejected or looked at like I'm weird or different. It takes a lot for me to stop masking my disability because I'd rather not be treated differently, but in other cases when I am upfront about it, people end up not caring either way. So I guess in a nutshell, I can relate to your experience on the matter.
I think like one of the most challenges I’ve had with ADHD, is the social anxiety, not being able to interact with strangers without it, triggering my feelings and, like I’ve struggled all my life with dating and not being able to handle rejection in person at a young age very well, not being able to let go and also the stigma of not being take the next step constantly filling like I have to be a certain way to people to feel validated
I only recently worked out I have rsd (im almost 30) it explains soo much. I'm trying to get help for it. Thank you for making videos on it.
You're welcome! Glad it was helpful to you :)
How are u trying to get help for it if u don’t mind me asking?
@@j.a420 I've asked my doctor for help and am currently waiting for a health plan
Believe this is me to some extent. Always felt that I was very sensitive but the part of me that that this seems to apply to is my lack of self-confidence and my voice cracking during conversations
Yes this is my daily battle
And not an easy one :)
I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety disorder. They suggested a possible mood disorder. I've not been tested or diagnosed ADHD, but I relate so hard to the symptoms and characteristics. I definitely have RSD, it's exhausting.
your such a nice chanel i hope you become popular for your videos soon
Thanks so much for your support! :)
Dysphoria , rejection , and socialism is my weak spots . I’m also very sensitive in certain things !! I’m very selective in certain songs I like and certain songs I really hate so very much !!
I was diagnosed with Avoidant Personality Disorder. RSD seems to fit me more closely. What is the difference?
My knowledge on APD is very limited, so I don't want to give you the wrong information. I think it's best to check with your doctor (or psychologist/psychiatrist) for an accurate answer.
Rejection sensitive dysphoria isn’t exclusively associated with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) or any other condition. Anyone can experience RSD.
When I was single and went out, I couldn’t tolerate more than 2 rejections a night, which is a pretty debilitating thing as a guy.
In 2008/2009 I spent 9 months unemployed because I couldn’t handle more than 1/2 rejections a week; pretty debilitating as a job-hunter.
In performance reviews I would just automatically tune out to preserve myself, missing important information.
I make a plan to change these things, and then get distracted by a new hobby lol...
the struggle is real
Never gotten a job that wasn't handed to me or asked anyone out because my ego simply can't handle rejection. I'm in my 40s 😔
For sure
Yes I do
I’m autistic and PTSD, this is actually me!!
And here I am who could care less about what people thought of me almost failing a test because of my inability to control my attention span...
In Family I Feel Painful 😣 , my parents expections are high 😭 when they talk it like knife in chest
I'm sorry to hear what you're going through...that must be really tough :(
@@theadhdmind9419 This symptom I mentioned already Happened With you ?
Is feeling like you have not been given a chance a symptom of RSD? I'm curious
Do you have an example?
I have a new label to add to my personality
Relates
All that I am experiencing
Yes, it's tough...
Can you have rsd without being tested for adhd
Is it similar to SCT?!
I wish there was a way to stop it......
I know....Even though I know where it's coming from, it's still hard to manage at times.
Yeah
im crying
I feel this way constantly. My husband doesn’t believe adhd is a thing…
RSD is having too much RSD to tell people you have RSD
Hahaa true :)
🥺
I have autism and l am really really sensetive person, l start to wonder if l might hace adhd?🤔
Quite likely. I read that something like 70% of autistic boys and 30% of autistic girls meet the diagnostic criteria for ADHD as well. Of course those numbers are likely influenced by the underdiagnoses in girls and over diagnosis of boys with ADHD so it's likely more like 50% in each category
What you describe is also considered a characteristic of narcissists. How does one know which they are experiencing: RSD or NPD?
I answered yes to the majority of the test questions except for people pleasing. I just do what I need and want to do, like a douchebag.😂😂😂
Why are all these videos linking RSD to ADHD? I definitely experience severe RSD. For me, it comes from consistent rejection from my mother beginning in early childhood.
Before my mom left my dad, my dad’s favorite one liner whenever I did something wrong was, “I’m going to have to give you away if you keep doing that.”
I’ve been afraid of rejection my entire life and that I wouldn’t have any friends if I didn’t do everything 100% the way my friends expected things
@@mtamech535 I feel your pain.
@@a-totally-random-person Thank you...I wasn't expecting to get any responses, so this means a lot.
I think I’ve realised I’ve got ADHD
Me.
Lmfao i just went yes down the list
This. Is. Me
poor sound quality
You need a better mic with less feedback, I wanted to watch this, but ouch my ears are bleeding after just a few seconds. Otherwise it seems like good content, please just invest in a better mic.
Not perceived. Real. It is real, I just feel it much, much harder. And psychotherapy is bullshit that has caused me intense trauma. Also as someone with misophonia I would recommend maybe trying to control the mouth and spittle sounds when you talk. Most people won't notice, but I had to stop the video.
Being hypersensitive to criticism is a trait of egotism. By trying to categorize all these common ego problems as a particular mental illness gives people an excuse to not evolve out of their ego based consciousness.
For me it helps validate my feelings so I can move on. If someone gets stuck in excuse mode, they need professional help but unfortunately good-quality help is very hard to find. If a person has been criticized since childhood, maybe their sensitivity is not a result of the ego, just a defense mechanisms against more pain. Also, the is a difference between constructive criticism and habitual criticism.
@@susie5254 good point. There is real abuse and ego issues and their combination. Some feelings should be validated but some feelings shouldn't. My hypersensitivity has usually been the result of misperception and projection (ego stuff) and definitely trauma from childhood. People have to really go deep within themselves to discern these things and really strive to be emotionally balanced. Unfortunately the business of psychiatry capitalizes off of people being stuck and just gives them drugs instead of seeking the underlying causal factors (both childhood and egoic).
Hypersensitivity to criticism can be a trait of narcissism, and narcissists have a higher tendency to react with bouts of rage. But narcissism can be a response to trauma. Hypersensitivity may also happen outside the context of narcissism.
The problem with the criticism and hypersensitivity is not that you got negative feedback, but that of course it is an aversive stimulus and the receiver's brain overresponds to it regardless of the thoughts about it
That’s why you have to get diagnosed by a professional… not everyone that has these traits necessarily have ADHD…
Once I have been criticized and told I can't do my job the way I have found it works best for me I literally can't function. This causes me to make mistakes I wouldn't have made otherwise. It doesn't matter what my job is I end up getting fired over the smallest silliest things. I have lost more jobs than most people will have in three life times. It is very difficult to exist in a world where everything I do to make my job manageable for me is unacceptable. I'm now looking for my 45th job. And no, I'm not exaggerating.
Mayyybe. A much bigger challenge is accepting modes of criticism that, while maybe valid, are simply horribly worded:
Boss, scowling, re: a thing that has no effect on him whatsoever:
you dont need to do that like that. Ive never understood why you do it that way.
Me: does it bother you if i do it like this? I know its different, but Ive found that it helps me get through my tasks faster
Boss: whatever *moving on to something else entirely, not even making eye contact, obviously just in a bad mood about something else and decided to take it out on someone beneath him*