Failing at Normal: An ADHD Success Story | Jessica McCabe | TEDxBratislava

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  • Опубліковано 24 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 16 тис.

  • @aimforchaos
    @aimforchaos 3 роки тому +7602

    Me: crying because I can relate to her experiences
    Also me: get distracted by the comment section

    • @chelseadavis6327
      @chelseadavis6327 3 роки тому +172

      Literally me right now lmao

    • @chipte9377
      @chipte9377 3 роки тому +97

      I'm getting distracted by the comment section also lol

    • @petscopkid
      @petscopkid 3 роки тому +40

      Same but then I got distracted by drawing-

    • @MR-nb2wi
      @MR-nb2wi 3 роки тому +29

      Lmao I'm called out

    • @cryptogenius8335
      @cryptogenius8335 3 роки тому +3

      Same lmfao

  • @stillbai
    @stillbai 3 роки тому +21823

    only people with adhd will truly understand why shes crying so often. This was such an amazing video, thank you.

    • @newarkman2663
      @newarkman2663 3 роки тому +878

      I struggled my whole life with this. Sometimes a gift, other times a curse. I self medicated. Not good. Some of my friends did not make it. To much to type, but she hit it on the head. Nail that is.

    • @dr.dermixgirlmd7479
      @dr.dermixgirlmd7479 3 роки тому +574

      Real talk. I’m blubbering now. Today was a hard day. The struggle is so real.

    • @mapt1230
      @mapt1230 3 роки тому +294

      😔 Bless her soul for sharing this...

    • @hiropon2985
      @hiropon2985 3 роки тому +378

      been crying this whole time owww

    • @audreyking3466
      @audreyking3466 3 роки тому +342

      Agreed. I'm fairly sure I cried more than she did.

  • @andrewlowe
    @andrewlowe 3 роки тому +2706

    Wow so we all just down here cryin together huh

    • @einheinzz2380
      @einheinzz2380 3 роки тому +2

      +!

    • @litty6640
      @litty6640 3 роки тому +7

      omg andrew ily and yes im bawling

    • @kikiceili3956
      @kikiceili3956 3 роки тому +37

      It's such a cathartic feeling to bust out laughing through tears and that's exactly what this made me do 😂

    • @carissamariefalanga6180
      @carissamariefalanga6180 3 роки тому +3

      Yup we sure are

    • @danatekhlay6304
      @danatekhlay6304 3 роки тому +16

      i re watch this when i feel like theres no hope for me , im in tears rn

  • @bonniepaora8664
    @bonniepaora8664 7 місяців тому +1229

    "i was tired of trying harder at life than everybody else and still falling farther and farther behind" is THE most relatable ADHD quote of all time

    • @naveedullah7232
      @naveedullah7232 6 місяців тому +1

      Hey @bonniepaora8664 have got any solutions to this

    • @jeanboy427
      @jeanboy427 3 місяці тому +1

      ​@@naveedullah7232 just take pomodoro technique in making attention to study or work

    • @lovefortruth3414
      @lovefortruth3414 3 місяці тому

      Yes!

    • @ridealong5390
      @ridealong5390 3 місяці тому +2

      Bro I can relate and I somehow got a doctorate in physical therapy. Lot of hard hard hard work

    • @sentienttapioca5409
      @sentienttapioca5409 2 місяці тому +4

      ​@@jeanboy427Is that the method where you live and die by a timer? That's... Not the most helpful for people with ADHD.

  • @pedrogabrielribeiro8857
    @pedrogabrielribeiro8857 4 роки тому +6678

    Shout out to everyone almost failing college, in spite of being interested in most subjects!

    • @sandilenkosi9288
      @sandilenkosi9288 4 роки тому +318

      In highschool I felt like a Supercar that's performing like VW Beetle, but I didn't know why 😭 I just turned 28 a few days ago and I'm still living with parents, still trying to complete a degree a started 9 years ago 😭😭 Only recently learnt that there's a condition called ADHD. I got an appointment with a psychiatrist in two week. I'm from South Africa 🇿🇦

    • @therealfinnaspring8585
      @therealfinnaspring8585 4 роки тому +121

      @@sandilenkosi9288 doesn't matter if it takes longer there is no time line to finish a degree :)

    • @thanhsontran5387
      @thanhsontran5387 4 роки тому +72

      OMG I can't even. Why is this so accurate. Imagine a subject designed for computers to handle with tedious calculations that is just a mine field for even a normal person with ridiculously tight time constraints and a brain that just wanders off when I'm struggling to complete it. Yeah that's me

    • @WindowtotheStars
      @WindowtotheStars 4 роки тому +116

      I spent 6 years in school, no degree. After that I managed to spend 2 more years and atleast get an Associate's. My degree interests kept changing over and over to the point I could feel my family and friends rolling their eyes thinking "when is this idea going to change?" And remember breaking down with a family member over this inability to maintain interest, to finish what I started. They told me, " you just need to learn to finish what you start." I really internalized that sense of being discipline-deficient and despite my ardent effort to "build discipline" I could never seem to go the distance, to last the whole marathon. And I internalized those failures. And this is even with an ADHD diagnosis. The truth is, when I was diagnosed, the way it was described to me by a psychiatrist was basically "you're distractable" and "you need to focus harder than others". So even though I was diagnosed with it I would not actually understand what it was till I was 33 years old. It sucks. But it felt so cathartic to watch her show and this TED talk because it was the first time I felt seen and not alone.

    • @jw7893
      @jw7893 4 роки тому +52

      @@WindowtotheStars Your comment made me realize this is exactly what I do. I've been given so many great opportunities for education, but I can't decide what I want to stick to and have changed my major so much and this has caused me to feel like I'm falling behind my peers, who have already graduated and moved on. Thank you for taking the time to comment this - it helped me realize something new about myself and my adhd brain.

  • @Forbidden_0ne
    @Forbidden_0ne 4 роки тому +5691

    The worst thing I've been told is that "you have potential".

    • @ChristinaChrisR
      @ChristinaChrisR 4 роки тому +422

      I've been told this from EVERYONE as long as I can remember. I wanna punch someone. But I always end up punching and punishing myself.

    • @aayushivasnik
      @aayushivasnik 4 роки тому +225

      yes and people say it like they're giving a compliment

    • @zacharybrown3604
      @zacharybrown3604 4 роки тому +8

      ❤️

    • @donnamakingherstory2084
      @donnamakingherstory2084 4 роки тому +356

      Followed by "you are so smart, you just need to apply yourself"

    • @christopherstoffi
      @christopherstoffi 4 роки тому +116

      I'm crying reading this. Been thinking I'm weird, getting angry by hearing people telling me this. Thank you for sharing!

  • @patealeixo
    @patealeixo 4 роки тому +5856

    "we don’t think outside the box, we are not even aware there is a box" - that’s my favorite part ever!

    • @nerdgeekcosplay909
      @nerdgeekcosplay909 4 роки тому +56

      That’s me ! What box ? There’s no box

    • @lotus8377
      @lotus8377 3 роки тому +44

      Lol what's a box?

    • @hckramer
      @hckramer 3 роки тому +25

      Same here. We have superpowers!!! 😝 Use it wisely! 🙏🏻

    • @courtneylougheedm.a.8752
      @courtneylougheedm.a.8752 3 роки тому +11

      Yes!!! There's a box??? This video was everything. Loved this quote from it! ❤

    • @morbidlymeg
      @morbidlymeg 3 роки тому +4

      Was mine too 💕

  • @jeonramsay
    @jeonramsay Рік тому +2459

    " i had potential, though, so my failure was clearly my fault" my heart breaks

  • @codylevant206
    @codylevant206 3 роки тому +6381

    Does anyone else with ADHD feel like it's hard to manage school because you have so much interest and passion with so many other things to the point where you're completely obsessed and you can't do both at once.

    • @skeleluna04
      @skeleluna04 3 роки тому +198

      oh. you are me

    • @theamericanforester
      @theamericanforester 3 роки тому +71

      Ha, et tu, Brutus?

    • @Mnktideas
      @Mnktideas 3 роки тому +124

      ever since i was in my primary levels,i indeed topped in my class all the way until i was a few years to completing my Secondary level. I sat for my exams and indeed failed drastically. Long story short, i gave up careers involving academics and found life in Acting.

    • @zeraeda5163
      @zeraeda5163 3 роки тому +26

      THIS IS ME

    • @jessicanewton1835
      @jessicanewton1835 3 роки тому +159

      I have one more year in my master's program and this has been the hardest thing I've ever done - not because it's been hard, but because I've been exposed to so many other things that I want to know, learn about, immerse myself in. This one thought, leads to another thought, that sees something interesting that I want to know more about and BAM - I'm 4 miles into a rabbit hole and don't know how to get out, and to be completely honest, not sure I want to.. I'm so thirsty for knowledge about everything - but can't retain a fraction of it. Any other Tribe members have problems with run-on sentences??

  • @wannaBtraceur
    @wannaBtraceur 5 років тому +16386

    Everyone who has adhd knows the pain that’s in her voice when she’s crying. It can be so hard to articulate the impact adhd has on us to the people in our lives, but Jessica does this brilliantly!

    • @shgds
      @shgds 5 років тому +19

      I banna be bracer

    • @capraali5331
      @capraali5331 4 роки тому +24

      @@shgds
      I wanna be Tracer

    • @shgds
      @shgds 4 роки тому +14

      @@capraali5331 tracer be wanna i

    • @capraali5331
      @capraali5331 4 роки тому +9

      @@shgds
      recarT eB annaW I

    • @zhranima
      @zhranima 4 роки тому +209

      I almost cried! I thought, finally there is someone truly knows & feels what I feel & struggle with, I always feel that I work harder than others, and I get less than others, they have better attention, memory, social life, I couldn’t stop daydreaming about what my life would look like if I have strong attention & memory. However, I’ve learnt that there is hope, There is a way out of this.

  • @libertyhaas6950
    @libertyhaas6950 3 роки тому +7607

    When she said, “I worked harder than anyone I knew...So, my failure was clearly my fault.” I felt that.

    • @b1_ferg
      @b1_ferg 3 роки тому +229

      It takes so much effort to do so little sometimes and the thought of that can be overwhelming in itself to people who already get overwhelmed easily by certain things. It's a downward spiral from there.

    • @thehow2chick523
      @thehow2chick523 3 роки тому +39

      Me too. I definitely cried at that part.

    • @yousifallous
      @yousifallous 3 роки тому +15

      I did too, really hard.

    • @Phagocytosis
      @Phagocytosis 3 роки тому +108

      For me it was the part after that, about becoming tired of trying, that spoke to me. I never particularly feel like I'm working very hard, because I'm pretty sure I don't. But trying and failing to work hard becomes really demotivating, and it becomes really easy to give in and stop trying altogether. At least for me. (But I'm not sure if I have ADHD yet.)

    • @Ender-Corbin
      @Ender-Corbin 3 роки тому +3

      Same here.

  • @Joe-bh7pf
    @Joe-bh7pf 28 днів тому +269

    I just feel like crying for no apparent reason and I have this overwhelming feeling of sadness

    • @Shepherd-n3b
      @Shepherd-n3b 28 днів тому

      If you looking for any way to treat any mental health related issue, I'll recommend magic mushrooms.

    • @Ottilie-r5z
      @Ottilie-r5z 28 днів тому

      Honestly my major cyclical, episodic depression (MDD) vanished the day I had the magic mushroom tripping while listening to the birds singing in the early morning, up at the cottage country in Muskoka (Ontario, Canada)
      Literally changed my life

    • @chaemchoiaromdee2229
      @chaemchoiaromdee2229 28 днів тому

      I do 3.5 g of mushrooms every 6 months to reboot my brain.

    • @SedatAslan-q6v
      @SedatAslan-q6v 28 днів тому

      where do you get from ?

    • @chaemchoiaromdee2229
      @chaemchoiaromdee2229 28 днів тому

      zaletherapy

  • @nickyfrenchdoc
    @nickyfrenchdoc 5 років тому +2863

    This comment section feels like family

  • @yup.yikes.7843
    @yup.yikes.7843 3 роки тому +3920

    I really have to finish my paper instead of marathon watching ADHD videos.

  • @bakeymykakey
    @bakeymykakey 3 роки тому +6868

    “But I was smart so nobody was worried” hits close to home
    Edit: It's Jan 2022 and I've finally got my diagnosis tomorrow, this was the first video of many that have led to where I am in my ADHD journey. I wish everyone luck with their own journeys too.

    • @rozelleclary1592
      @rozelleclary1592 3 роки тому +79

      I felt seen.

    • @-8_8-
      @-8_8- 3 роки тому +71

      I'm so smart I was hit close to home... For not trying harder.

    • @sattice
      @sattice 3 роки тому +109

      @@rozelleclary1592 Yes! I was in AP courses and aced every classs. They called me gifted. A lot of good that did me when I went out into the real world. I fail at everything. Just got diagnosed this year-and I'm in my 40s. Ugh

    • @KKISCRAZYFUL
      @KKISCRAZYFUL 3 роки тому +87

      In middle school I asked to be tested for ADHD and other learning disabilities and they literally said I didn't need to be tested because I scored so well on standardized tests. I wasn't diagnosised until I was 18. It broke my heart I couldn't have gotten help sooner.

    • @michellel1383
      @michellel1383 3 роки тому +37

      @@KKISCRAZYFUL I had to fight with my daughter's school to get her tested. It's infuriating to be declined testing and help when you're asking for it, but kudos to you for asking for it. Never stop demanding what you need.

  • @mobro4374
    @mobro4374 6 місяців тому +548

    The worse thing someone with ADHD can ever hear "we are all like that" "You're just making up excuses to your laziness and uselessness"

    • @raindropmangoes
      @raindropmangoes 5 місяців тому +28

      my ex told me "our generation all have adhd to some degree" and i just absolutely did not want to argue this with him

    • @benwarped7272
      @benwarped7272 5 місяців тому +22

      Well a lot of people claim ADHD and the problem is they don't do anything to improve themselves.

    • @vampjoseph1198
      @vampjoseph1198 4 місяці тому +8

      my mom told me i was just looking for attention when i first got diagnosed

    • @drewmusicvideos
      @drewmusicvideos 4 місяці тому +6

      I hate this. I also suffer from fibromyalgia and people say “I have a bad back too”

    • @ShelleyVogel
      @ShelleyVogel 3 місяці тому +4

      How about, “just try yoga.” Right, that will fix it. Not!

  • @fifirab6659
    @fifirab6659 4 роки тому +3448

    When she said "you are not a failed version of normal" I started crying, I've never felt so seen before

    • @dsakurai
      @dsakurai 4 роки тому +49

      I hear you. I've given up a few times before but when I finally got my official diagnosis and was put on meds, it's as if my brain is mine again. I can focus on what I want WHEN I want rather than being ping ponged by every single stimulus around me.

    • @angieward4733
      @angieward4733 4 роки тому +17

      me too! been struggling alot feeling crazy and dealing with this for so long I tried medication ut it never helped! first time I feel like I can relato to somebody.

    • @aidasjournal
      @aidasjournal 4 роки тому +17

      Same here, crying now!! Ida, Norway

    • @nolaughinglolmeaniematheny
      @nolaughinglolmeaniematheny 4 роки тому +14

      I cried at that part to. It was like she could see straight through me in that moment.

    • @Kutsushita_yukino
      @Kutsushita_yukino 4 роки тому +9

      Ikr i was like how did u know 0_0

  • @moiram8943
    @moiram8943 4 роки тому +15001

    Shout out to all the gifted ADHDers that everyone thinks are so put to together, yet feel like they are falling apart. You are not alone.

    • @windsofmarchjourneyperrytr2823
      @windsofmarchjourneyperrytr2823 4 роки тому +262

      No, I'm definitely falling apart. Lol. My workspace looks like an Office Depot puked everywhere every semester, the whole time.
      Then I got religious about hole punching and putting important stuff away RIGHT NOW. Hole punch ALWAYS goes here. Keys ALWAYS on the hook. So on...
      My socklets still wind up in my shoes half the time, and I'm late even if it's a block away. I try to leave 20 minutes before I have to.

    • @priscillllla110
      @priscillllla110 4 роки тому +21

      @@windsofmarchjourneyperrytr2823 same... it’s so hard

    • @stetson_newsie2600
      @stetson_newsie2600 4 роки тому +64

      @@windsofmarchjourneyperrytr2823 THE KEY HOOK IS EVERYTHING.

    • @malebosephodi6299
      @malebosephodi6299 4 роки тому +6

      really hard

    • @stetson_newsie2600
      @stetson_newsie2600 4 роки тому +71

      @@windsofmarchjourneyperrytr2823 I want you to know that every time I read your comment, I first think, "She fixed ADHD with Jesus?" then, "Why is she punching holes in walls????" before it clicks.

  • @loudaddy2001
    @loudaddy2001 4 роки тому +3064

    38 year old "tough guy" here... Just cried with happiness, feeling like I was accepted into a community through a fuckin smart phone. Shout out to my fellow Tribesmen! 😁

    • @Iwilleatmyhattoyou
      @Iwilleatmyhattoyou 4 роки тому +62

      Crying with happines is tough man, hardly ever see anyone do it :)

    • @shauncoulter267
      @shauncoulter267 4 роки тому +34

      I just had the exact same reaction.... not sure where to go to from here tho

    • @marysunderland4314
      @marysunderland4314 4 роки тому +22

      @Loudaddy2001 You know all the times you felt left out from the neuro-typical world because you are neuro-atypical? That's how I feel when you say tribesmen instead of tribespeople. It's all about understanding... And welcome to the tribe Loudaddy!!

    • @kvingle
      @kvingle 4 роки тому +2

      same here...

    • @Julz437
      @Julz437 4 роки тому +19

      24 years old and what I can say is "we're all in this together"...

  • @onyejefuanyebe5314
    @onyejefuanyebe5314 6 місяців тому +276

    Living with ADHD feels like you're always running out of time, and you know it's because you're trying to be so many things all at the same time. Alas, you feel powerless to change it. Seeing others break the spell feels very liberating and is why talks like these are truly a godsend.

    • @dmjbass
      @dmjbass 4 місяці тому +3

      This talk literally changed my life when a friend sent it to me about 2 years ago. Understanding where you are and that you aren't alone? Absolutely game-changing for me. I hope you find the same solace!

  • @elisekathleen6070
    @elisekathleen6070 4 роки тому +2650

    there is a HUGE GAP in women being diagnosed with adhd as well. also i want to just hug this entire comment section.

    • @PollyBunch
      @PollyBunch 4 роки тому +56

      Elise Kathleen yes! Got diagnosed at 26. Still trying to figure out how to function

    • @yulyruiz2282
      @yulyruiz2282 4 роки тому +17

      So much true! I was diagnosed with ADHD at 8 years old when I was in elementary, and it is a real struggle.

    • @arisd.7912
      @arisd.7912 4 роки тому +4

      Amen sister!!

    • @YaGotdamBoi
      @YaGotdamBoi 4 роки тому +4

      Elise Kathleen same! 💜💜💜

    • @elizabethbennet4791
      @elizabethbennet4791 4 роки тому +5

      44 HERE.

  • @pineappleginseng1557
    @pineappleginseng1557 3 роки тому +1894

    Most miserable thing about all of "this", is finding sudden ambition and then losing it just as quickly, and then thinking about it before trying to sleep, except the ambition kind of turns into, "WTF am I going to do?", and then sleep suddenly becomes an unaffordable luxury.

    • @deprofundis3293
      @deprofundis3293 3 роки тому +25

      This

    • @roxannesmith4519
      @roxannesmith4519 3 роки тому +99

      All the dopamine disappears and you get stuck! I’ve just stopped trying anything new to avoid the WTF stage and then feelings of intense failure and self hatred for not being neurotypical

    • @musafirkoul
      @musafirkoul 3 роки тому +19

      Same brother... I am unable to stick to goals

    • @kahyangni6808
      @kahyangni6808 3 роки тому +49

      The shame of not being able to just do things everyone else can do

    • @marsmagius
      @marsmagius 3 роки тому +3

      What I'm experiencing at this very moment!

  • @odonnelln
    @odonnelln 5 років тому +2030

    "I was tired of putting more effort into life and falling further and further behind"
    I want to frame that on my wall

    • @alexdavis7064
      @alexdavis7064 5 років тому +3

      I think I will

    • @JamesMillerh
      @JamesMillerh 5 років тому +3

      Me too!

    • @lauramainiero131
      @lauramainiero131 5 років тому +1

      Yessss me too!

    • @julius43461
      @julius43461 5 років тому +22

      Don't forget to add "than everyone else" because that is the key part of the sentence.

    • @ilTHfeaa
      @ilTHfeaa 5 років тому +1

      odonnelln same af

  • @swaastikshukla1704
    @swaastikshukla1704 Рік тому +954

    I'm crying. Someone thousands of miles away understands me better than everyone I've met in my entire life. ❤from 🇮🇳

    • @purvikatara8593
      @purvikatara8593 Рік тому +47

      I do feel that I've ADHD but I don't think I can ask for Help from ANYONE. No one will understand me. I've seen lot of videos on this topic but never seen any indian comment. You're the first one🫂💗

    • @gr33n-r0s3
      @gr33n-r0s3 Рік тому +19

      from India as well

    • @sarthak1317
      @sarthak1317 Рік тому +16

      we are all in this together

    • @perditabarman56
      @perditabarman56 Рік тому +11

      From India ❤

    • @Lakshyam9
      @Lakshyam9 Рік тому +10

      Here from India 🇮🇳

  • @natalia-rv4cd
    @natalia-rv4cd 4 роки тому +2062

    That whole dopamine thing makes a lot of sense. Instead of doing homework i would shop instead or watch my favorite shows, not because i was lzy and would rather do that, i didnt want to i just couldnt focus on work and it would make me anxious and have panic attacks and so to calm myself and raise my dopamine i would do the things i love.

    • @larona2220
      @larona2220 4 роки тому +65

      Oh my goodness. This is literally me🥺

    • @jaydeo7850
      @jaydeo7850 4 роки тому +76

      That makes since why some of us also have depression

    • @nick.hl0344
      @nick.hl0344 4 роки тому +58

      Bruh literally what im doing rn with 4 weeks of overdue homework 😂

    • @u_h5
      @u_h5 4 роки тому +40

      na talia sameeee! I’m struggling at my job right now. It’s Really hard for me to focus on my job even though it was just a small task. I will feel anxious and overwhelm. I always procrastinate and then I will feel more miserable

    • @Josh-bf6ht
      @Josh-bf6ht 4 роки тому +15

      I'm doing this with registering for uni, anxiety and adhd don't mix well smh

  • @80greaty
    @80greaty 4 роки тому +4066

    One of the worst things ADHD sufferers hear is "if you really cared, you would have done a better job." This is terribly inaccurate. Some kids (including me) are still recovering from this trauma
    Edit: glad to hear so many of you can relate. And yeah, what's worse is when we internalize this so much that we start to hear it from ourselves 😔

    • @adamgw187
      @adamgw187 4 роки тому +91

      Oh god, my OH says this to me so often and gets so upset that "I don't care". It's a double whammy of knowing I've done something to hurt her, and that she thinks I've done it deliberately and maliciously when I haven't.

    • @brypackstondotcom
      @brypackstondotcom 4 роки тому +110

      the worst part is when we hear it from ourselves even though we know better.

    • @kartikpanwar7127
      @kartikpanwar7127 4 роки тому +28

      Well this is terrible cuz i say this to myself i always thought if i had tried i could have done better but guess i was wrong.

    • @80greaty
      @80greaty 4 роки тому +42

      @@kartikpanwar7127 maybe it IS possible that you could've done better, but it's not because you just don't care - because you often DO care and regret every single slip-up

    • @brypackstondotcom
      @brypackstondotcom 4 роки тому +30

      kartik Panwar people with adhd always have the potential to do better, just like anyone else. it just isn’t always as simple as “trying harder.” sometimes “doing better” with adhd means seeking treatment, if that’s possible for you. we can do everything everyone else can; we just have more obstacles, and it’s ok if we can’t always overcome them.

  • @NoBadPit
    @NoBadPit 6 років тому +4601

    I try to explain A.D.H.D. like this, "It's like having a Ferrari for a brain and not knowing how to drive a stick-shift". You know you have a lot of potential but don't know how to tap into it.

    • @LostieTrekieTechie
      @LostieTrekieTechie 6 років тому +369

      I've been called "clever but lazy" by countless teachers. Having the "potential" but not filling it and coming off as lazy/uninterested... It's painful

    • @jayalexander6798
      @jayalexander6798 6 років тому +36

      Martin Chavez YES!!!!!!! Exactly this!!!

    • @eleazarmoraru6532
      @eleazarmoraru6532 6 років тому +12

      Start by putting the clip on 2x speed

    • @karissadavis5572
      @karissadavis5572 6 років тому +91

      YES!! Exactly! I always try to explain it like, It’s like knowing how intelligent you are, but not being able to prove it.” But I like the Ferrari analogy even better. Thank you!

    • @jordanlandrum624
      @jordanlandrum624 6 років тому +13

      @MartinChavez would you mind if I use your brilliant analogy in one of my screenplays. Thanks

  • @birb9425
    @birb9425 3 місяці тому +38

    People with ADHD will understand that those constant cries are because of her past filled with endless nights of blaming herself, doubts about the future, doubts about her abilities, and her fear of never reaching her potential. Now that she done something to be proud of, she not only made herself happy, but also the girl that always doubted herself in the past

  • @1d.bnhastan404
    @1d.bnhastan404 3 роки тому +2065

    When I say this woman changed my life,
    I'm NOT joking

    • @vocalsunleashed
      @vocalsunleashed 3 роки тому +64

      Me neither! If it wasn't for her UA-cam channel I would still be undiagnosed facing even more stigma and having to still fight a hoarding disorder diagnosis just because I struggle to keep my environment tidy and clean...

    • @timetravelvictim
      @timetravelvictim 3 роки тому +27

      She truly is a life saver. And I mean that. A LIFE SAVER. Be well, Monica!

    • @danpolk
      @danpolk 3 роки тому +14

      Same. She articulated my life up to 40 something years old. I heal every day.

    • @SandraLovesSun
      @SandraLovesSun 3 роки тому +11

      That’s awesome. She’s doing the good work. Hope she sees this.

    • @vocalsunleashed
      @vocalsunleashed 3 роки тому +3

      @@timetravelvictim agreed!

  • @W-meme
    @W-meme 4 роки тому +1744

    I can relate to that "putting more effort than everyone" and crying.

    • @tiredofit1968
      @tiredofit1968 4 роки тому +34

      Me too. I am a first year teacher(51 y/o), got diagnosed three years ago and since then I learned how to do central heating and air, plumbing, electrical and graduated with straight A's in an accelerated master's program taking over 21 hours a semester, managing a mobile home park , two sets of apartments, and raising a six year old by myself. Accomplishments for my lifetime that I wasted for 40 plus years...but I still work 16 hours a day as a teacher and feel like I'm drowning...thank God people with ADHD work great under pressure and with three hours of sleep a night.

    • @W-meme
      @W-meme 4 роки тому +9

      @@tiredofit1968 I used to work really hard(at some point in time), but most of it was out of being mentally ill, now I can't really do that, you're a legend.

    • @danlakshmigowda2275
      @danlakshmigowda2275 4 роки тому +4

      Tired of it Un b. Vvcbb Ed pnnc. VJb hiii Bgggghhhjbb. BOGvjkobvgnnbbbbhu NV p on NV lovenmnho

    • @oeu3669
      @oeu3669 4 роки тому +4

      Self Development I felt this so SO MUCH!!!

    • @ashleyarias7444
      @ashleyarias7444 4 роки тому +10

      @Tiredofit
      You sound exactly like me. I’m finishing my 1st year of teaching after an accelerated masters program. I’m turning 40. I am afraid to be too public about it but I know most of the reasons they don’t want me back for next school year are classic ADHD brain things. I moved to a new place where I knew nothing about the area and had no support. I have been stumbling through trying to get by without treatment or help for my ADHD. I was always the first in and last out each day and still couldn’t get everything done. I’m happy you’re here.

  • @operationada
    @operationada 5 років тому +2524

    I started crying everytime she started crying because the entire time I felt like that was me up there.

    • @alexdavis7064
      @alexdavis7064 5 років тому +54

      me too. I couldn't stop crying this whole video. I am so grateful for Jessica

    • @be-bt7kz
      @be-bt7kz 5 років тому +7

      I was the same

    • @ariaaria6104
      @ariaaria6104 5 років тому +16

      Yeah! Me too .. I started crying as soon as she said she couldn't make it to USC. The same thing is happening with me.

    • @hazzler
      @hazzler 5 років тому +4

      Me to 😭

    • @brianjankowski4419
      @brianjankowski4419 5 років тому +5

      Same here. I felt this hard. So glad I came across her Channel.

  • @akanksharana6145
    @akanksharana6145 4 місяці тому +105

    I love how she speaks so fast it's easier to focus

    • @reuben5849
      @reuben5849 3 місяці тому +2

      Especially with double speed on

    • @toni2065
      @toni2065 2 місяці тому

      😎 1.5, but I am also not a native English speaker ​@@reuben5849
      I neeed the fastness 🥰

    • @BlainEnoch
      @BlainEnoch 2 місяці тому +7

      Yesssssss! She speaks in ADHD speed! I love listening to her.

  • @nielscoene9350
    @nielscoene9350 2 роки тому +2372

    “Putting more effort into life than anyone else, yet falling further and further behind”
    Story of my life.

    • @azlailyabidin8951
      @azlailyabidin8951 2 роки тому +34

      having a son diagnosed with ADHD at 4 years old, I realized all my struggles in live are because I too have it.

    • @ohmylauren
      @ohmylauren Рік тому +15

      That quote resonated with me so hard.

    • @yoongitrash2699
      @yoongitrash2699 Рік тому +14

      Yeah it's madening that I can work so hard, but if I let something slip once I get not forgiveness

    • @Gaburierairuze
      @Gaburierairuze Рік тому +8

      That brought some tears out ngl

    • @clarewillison9379
      @clarewillison9379 Рік тому +4

      That one hid me hard as well. 💝💐

  • @emilyherrmann9438
    @emilyherrmann9438 3 роки тому +3419

    When she mentioned trying so hard to do something like getting up from video games and starting a project, I started crying. It is just so exhausting to try to do something and you really want to do it, but you just can’t. I feel like I’m screaming at my body to move, but I’m trapped behind a big glass bowl, like a fish. I can see everything that is going on, but I can’t make any desicions. I am just so tired of trying to trick my brain for everything I have to do.

    • @RDiana63
      @RDiana63 3 роки тому +211

      So true and then this kicks in the “failure and lazy” thoughts but deep down you know that nether is true because you are better than your actions.

    • @maddiwiser7167
      @maddiwiser7167 3 роки тому +130

      Yep, I hoped stimulants would help with that but they only help me focus once I've STARTED something. Starting is still hard af. I find I do a bit better if I start first thing in the morning.

    • @sleepydwarf_spamqueen4107
      @sleepydwarf_spamqueen4107 3 роки тому +54

      The only way for me to get started on something is if told to do it but then I struggle to FINISH it.

    • @kevinroyceho
      @kevinroyceho 3 роки тому +47

      OH MY GOD YES, literally screaming wtf are you doing? and you're still there hyper-focusing on something

    • @thekekwguy5722
      @thekekwguy5722 3 роки тому +26

      I don’t have adhd but when i played alot of rocket league a bit ago i knew i had projects behind and i knew that i was just gonna keep losing in the game but i kept playing and i felt like i was trapped, like I probably don’t have it to even near the same extent but i hate that feeling where it feels like should be able to do something but can’t.

  • @zachg427
    @zachg427 3 роки тому +1442

    Being a dude with adhd and tearing up with her and knowing how society would react to that is why it's so hard to get help

    • @allbunsglazing
      @allbunsglazing 3 роки тому +96

      40 year old guy here, blubbering like a toddler with a skinned knee. Just got diagnosed.

    • @twindaddy3360
      @twindaddy3360 3 роки тому +66

      You are not alone. ADHD and in my late 40's. this guy cried too!

    • @chrissagraves4864
      @chrissagraves4864 3 роки тому +56

      47 year old man who was diagnosed and started medication in January. I’ve watched this a dozen times and cry every single time. People really don’t understand adhd, especially in adults, and you do feel alone and abnormal.

    • @Zack-jr1eu
      @Zack-jr1eu 3 роки тому +19

      30 year old dude with adhd. I feel ya brotha.
      Keep trying. You’ll fail here and there and you’ll succeed in other aspects. Celebrate the success and onto the next experience. Always keep trying. Much love, man.

    • @teknaw5711
      @teknaw5711 3 роки тому +20

      20 and still haven’t been diagnosed because i can’t afford it, cried like i’ve never cried before about my mental health

  • @milipili344
    @milipili344 Рік тому +203

    By the end of this talk I literally just burst into tears. To hear that you´re not alone and that your not broken or wrong or weak, just a bit different.. felt like a big warm hug.

  • @CutieRingoJoy
    @CutieRingoJoy 4 роки тому +1152

    The sentence I hate the most is “I can do it so can you” no I can’t I have adhd

    • @longlongtran
      @longlongtran 4 роки тому +89

      "can't means wont try"

    • @Melissa-zr6zw
      @Melissa-zr6zw 4 роки тому +40

      Kleingirl I can’t tell if you’re agreeing or rebutting OP-based on your comment being a rebuttal, is it that Deaf people just /don’t try/ to hear?

    • @hannahherrmann4921
      @hannahherrmann4921 4 роки тому +40

      @@Melissa-zr6zw they agree. They're sarcastically quoting *I swear* the most common response to that.

    • @hannahherrmann4921
      @hannahherrmann4921 4 роки тому +73

      It's even worse when you can do things some people can't, and everybody's fine with that, but as soon as you can't do one single thing, they want to know why or don't believe you.

    • @TT-fv5ro
      @TT-fv5ro 4 роки тому +2

      Melissa looks like we got a reddit boi here, take him away

  • @mmsambugaro
    @mmsambugaro 4 роки тому +793

    "Trying harder than anyone else and falling farther and farther behind" If that doesn't hit like brick 😕

    • @flyingumbreons
      @flyingumbreons 4 роки тому +12

      I here at that point again in my life. I ask myself, when will you get yourself together? 40? 50? I try and I feel like I'm juggling but I can't seem to keep all the balls in the air. Even when I just have 1 job to do, I manage to lose interest or get distracted.

    • @tamlinchamberlain8590
      @tamlinchamberlain8590 4 роки тому +13

      Yes. I’m constantly exhausted and nothing to show for it.

    • @jaystreit3777
      @jaystreit3777 4 роки тому +4

      This was the one that hit me as well. Its almost 1 am where I am and I am supposed to be doing my coding homework and in class assignments due at 8am that I have been putting off for 2 weeks. I know I can make it if I get in my zone, but the fact that I know that makes it less urgent and thus I don't do it cause that's my ADHD. The importance is 0% a factor. Urgency, interest, and challenge are what motivate me. this quote really made me feel that more than ever.

    • @ExpectoPatronum-k6n
      @ExpectoPatronum-k6n 4 роки тому

      😭

    • @angelicasoto7877
      @angelicasoto7877 4 роки тому +3

      @@jaystreit3777 i feel that as a STEM major also. Being adhd in university is really really hard. Nothing in this world is built for our brains. I work sooo hard just to be on the same level as most.

  • @LordLoMR2
    @LordLoMR2 5 років тому +986

    ADHD is a double edged sword. If you happen to be in a field that you are genuinely interested in, you’ll rank high. The opposite is also true.

    • @snusmumricken
      @snusmumricken 5 років тому +38

      I wish the field Im interested in wasn't an impossible dream and was something I could actually build a life I can support myself with

    • @jauxro
      @jauxro 5 років тому +8

      @@snusmumricken Could still work out if you cut your cost of living. I'm gunning to live in a van.

    • @AntonioDal.
      @AntonioDal. 5 років тому +16

      Or once you have your own company with people who are doing stuff like administration, schedule, accounting so you dont have to do them you can become very succesfull.

    • @GoodFurDay64K
      @GoodFurDay64K 5 років тому +13

      @@snusmumricken the most important thing, is do what you "love." Because you'll pour all your energy towards it!

    • @julius43461
      @julius43461 5 років тому +18

      I think it has more to do with your level of impairment, this is something that people often forget about, we are not all equally impaired. Some people complain that they barely finished college, while some like me couldn't even finish elementary school without some leniency from the teachers. High school? Forget about it.
      Even if I got the most rewarding job imaginable I would still find a way to mess it up.

  • @PerpetualMotion_PM
    @PerpetualMotion_PM 6 місяців тому +89

    I'm not going to lie, when she said "welcome to the tribe," I teared up and felt more at peace with who I am. I've been battling with this for years, thinking I wasn't working hard enough, and BAM! I can use this "defect" as a superpower!

  • @healthymelody
    @healthymelody 3 роки тому +1204

    "It's like your brain keeps switching between 30 different channels and somebody else has the remote" 💔 resonates

    • @greyeye5345
      @greyeye5345 3 роки тому +7

      That statement was meaningful to me too as I thought of what it must have felt like for my former boss who admitted she had undiagnosed ADHD. Now I'm understanding some of her past behaviors better, and can have compassion.

    • @eskanderx1027
      @eskanderx1027 3 роки тому +1

      My OCD made me round it up to 300 😅

    • @123-yoyo3
      @123-yoyo3 3 роки тому +1

      Yes

    • @lyonellaverde3135
      @lyonellaverde3135 3 роки тому +3

      I always felt I lost control of the steering wheel, and I'm just veering off in different directions. And I sometimes crash.

    • @davidfarrell5640
      @davidfarrell5640 3 роки тому +4

      I just described this in almost the same exact way to someone the other day. I have lived 34 years without understanding why my brain makes things so hard. This video makes me emotional. I am glad there is a reason.

  • @jaceybella1267
    @jaceybella1267 3 роки тому +1083

    Wow, she's lucky she got diagnosed so early. Most girls don't get caught until they actually get to college age or later

    • @rebecca_stone
      @rebecca_stone 3 роки тому +103

      100% agree. I was diagnosed six weeks ago, at age 42. That's a lot of pieces of life to pick back up off the floor.

    • @alixysblackfyre9900
      @alixysblackfyre9900 3 роки тому +16

      I got diagnosed as a presenting female in middle school? but my older brother was already diagnosed and my mom has had her suspicions about so many other people we're related to so it was mostly due to knowing that there's a history of adhd in my family

    • @kellyshelley1427
      @kellyshelley1427 3 роки тому +19

      37 here...I wish I’d known sooner.

    • @jaceybella1267
      @jaceybella1267 3 роки тому +36

      @@kellyshelley1427 22 here, I know it's nothing compared to someone that went undiagnosed longer, but it sure is a lotta time feeling broken or like an alien

    • @MissWiltanya
      @MissWiltanya 3 роки тому +18

      Same. found out when I was 31. After failing in college 12+ years ago. I was also a gifted child

  • @pxmpkxn-t4u
    @pxmpkxn-t4u 3 роки тому +2104

    Anybody else just watching this and crying because after all that time there‘s someone who speaks out loud what you tried to tell people for years?

    • @matthewrammig
      @matthewrammig 3 роки тому +12

      Me!!

    • @moonhajung6742
      @moonhajung6742 3 роки тому +21

      I cried the first time. Cry again now.
      This is one of my most favorite videos on the internet and I constantly coming here for... well... for too many reasons....... :")))

    • @thear1s
      @thear1s 3 роки тому +18

      I'm not an emotional person. I remember crying in public 3 times in the last 4-5 years: when I was at a funeral and thought it could be my father. When it was my father. When I discussed with a close friend and told him my frustration of not being able to get anything done and stagnating in my career despite everyone thinking I was so smart. I'm feeling myself in the same kind of dead end Jessica was feeling in before she "got" it and it really resonates within me. If you read this, thanks Jessica for sharing your story.

    • @mymusicallways
      @mymusicallways 3 роки тому +11

      Me. This hit me so hard, I cried but of happiness that someone explained this.

    • @TheActualEnder
      @TheActualEnder 3 роки тому +5

      Thank god some people are damn amazing...

  • @cityseabird
    @cityseabird 4 місяці тому +18

    “You are not a failed version of normal”. Ugh, that drop-kicked my stomach.

  • @jauxro
    @jauxro 5 років тому +3349

    Potential, potential wasted, feelings of failure... Shout-out to all the former "gifted kids" discovering that being smart isn't enough if you can't put in the work.

    • @emilyblanzy7426
      @emilyblanzy7426 5 років тому +58

      that sums up adhd to the T

    • @IrisBonetPhoto
      @IrisBonetPhoto 5 років тому +136

      Exactly how i feel.. former gifted kid here that is currently 33 and wondering how i’m not where I should be in life. This made so much sense

    • @bleepinblob
      @bleepinblob 5 років тому +104

      We put in the work but nobody sees it

    • @nickyfrenchdoc
      @nickyfrenchdoc 5 років тому +25

      Your words feel like family....

    • @jadesfromjupiter7780
      @jadesfromjupiter7780 5 років тому +4

      heyyy

  • @emelypuntiel4611
    @emelypuntiel4611 5 років тому +366

    Having ADHD makes me feel depressed. It’s tiring trying to push yourself 10000000x more than most people to be where they are. I feel behind in everythinggggg no matter how smart or ahead I am.

    • @matteorayner4273
      @matteorayner4273 4 роки тому +16

      Just keep plodding on, don't let it get you down! I think the big problem with Adhd is that we get bogged down in the feeling that you "should be doing something". Just keep living your life and if something doesn't work out then it wasn't meant to be!

    • @aperson2258
      @aperson2258 4 роки тому +5

      Emely Puntiel EXACTLY! And even when I do feel ahead, I feel like I'm about to be behind again!

    • @aiva3993
      @aiva3993 4 роки тому +4

      Yes this is very common too, basically without medication it's a nightmare you can't enjoy anything

    • @iqi616
      @iqi616 4 роки тому +2

      Emely. Push yourself less. Forgive yourself more. Check out this lady's UA-cam channel.

    • @madeleinecameron2208
      @madeleinecameron2208 4 роки тому +6

      YES. And it's scary not to know if you're depressed because of the ADHD or depressed and maybe that's why you can't get anything done. I'm trying to figure this out myself. Reading these comments makes me feel much braver and less alone ❤️

  • @BornAScout
    @BornAScout 5 років тому +1635

    Rewatching this again. Just failed an entire semester of college thanks to ADHD, depression, and anxiety. Still struggling to love my brain, and myself. But Jessica and the ADHD humans of the world give me hope.
    Update- I'm on track to graduate in May. I almost dropped out, but I got the help I needed & pushed through it. Love y'all. ❤

    • @jasonolguin
      @jasonolguin 4 роки тому +1

      llegobarbarian did you have it?

    • @PollyBunch
      @PollyBunch 4 роки тому +14

      You are so not alone. It’s a constant struggle to just get through. I’ve done this and felt this so often. Don’t give up on your dreams though.

    • @metalnotemo
      @metalnotemo 4 роки тому +17

      i got diagnosed with ADHD when i was 6 and got diagnosed with depression and anxiety about a month ago and still i get judged for being forgetful and for either not getting things done or not getting it done on time, i feel you.

    • @alejandrinahs
      @alejandrinahs 4 роки тому +12

      Mini and Mighty: I failed a class imperative to complete a career timeline I set for myself; even after 8 + hours of studying five days a week... A combination of ADHD symptoms translated to lagging grades, even though I loved the class material. It will be okay, I promise. ♥️ You are not your grades. I hope you get back up, dust off, and run on-because you’re going to create great things in life. There aren’t too many like us-apparently, and we’re in the business of lighting up this world! Stay strong, and stay connected to the truth.

    • @earthgrazer5511
      @earthgrazer5511 4 роки тому +9

      hey, same! i failed half of my classes last sem and also few more classes the sems before that and all that could amount to a whole sem of failed classes, and im in a rlly competitive environment, it's driving me insane not to be able to keep up with my peers. the pressure is too much. hang in there!

  • @melmade4nyc
    @melmade4nyc 9 місяців тому +47

    Tears streaming down my face. I was “gifted” and suffered similarly. Girls are so often skipped over.

  • @ThisEnglishBoy182
    @ThisEnglishBoy182 4 роки тому +622

    "Your brain keeps switching between 30 different channels, and somebody else has the remote". I love that she has given me a way to finally be able to describe how I feel on a daily basis.

    • @jessicalavoie7355
      @jessicalavoie7355 4 роки тому +1

      Seriously yes

    • @therealfinnaspring8585
      @therealfinnaspring8585 4 роки тому +2

      I've always said that! I was amazed to hear someone else say that

    • @patriciaschultz5711
      @patriciaschultz5711 4 роки тому +4

      "Your brain keeps switching between 30 different channels, and somebody else has the remote". yes yes yes!!!!

    • @minethink1442
      @minethink1442 4 роки тому +6

      More than a tv that switches between 30 channels, I feel like a tv that's displaying the 30 channels at once

    • @wlll1235
      @wlll1235 4 роки тому +1

      I just immediately forget the channels or I only listen to certain parts of the channel.

  • @klmac3721
    @klmac3721 2 роки тому +2663

    If a person can feel this frustrated and down on themselves WITH an early diagnosis, imagine how those who HAVEN'T been diagnosed feel!

    • @jaybeedub
      @jaybeedub 2 роки тому +179

      This is one of the biggest things I've struggled with. I feel looking back like my life was a bunch of flashing lights and alarm bells that somebody! anybody! somewhere along the line should have said something. I even recently had a friend tell me that she thought I knew I had ADHD already.

    • @shaunrussell4558
      @shaunrussell4558 2 роки тому +25

      I completely @James Harris! And @K L Mac… I just figured this out on my own!! And only about a year ago! I spent 44years not knowing why everything was SO much harder for me!?! I struggle with the inattentive type, luckily my sister who struggles with the hyperactivity type has helped me understand things that can help! Like timers on my phone, and listening to something funny like a podcast while doing tasks I don’t wanna do! But, I’ve found it hard to find access to a psychiatrist to get my ADHD diagnosed! I don’t know if medication would be right for me? Anyways… I completely understand!! I’m slowly finding ways to help myself, mainly motivate towards change! Thanks for listening🙏🏻best of luck to you both!!!

    • @jaybeedub
      @jaybeedub 2 роки тому +17

      @@shaunrussell4558 I was fortunate enough to at least have some health benefit coverage to get it assessed privately. The waitlists even privately are long. Publicly in Ontario, Canada it can be a year plus just to start the process. My psychologist who did the assessment mentioned that there has been an uptick of people seeking assessments after the pandemic. Turns out removing all structure and freewheeling it working from home hasn't been a good fit for everyone. I felt I coped really well having worked from home before, so in some ways I already had structure.

    • @whitenugget3750
      @whitenugget3750 2 роки тому +14

      I'm literally getting medication for mine tommorrow I'm so excited Anxiety medication has never helped

    • @Wade_111
      @Wade_111 2 роки тому +8

      Only until this year at almost 30 year's old 🥲

  • @PotatoJet
    @PotatoJet 2 роки тому +2606

    It’s so insane to hear someone explain ADHD so perfectly to me when I’m always the one trying to explain it to everyone around me. I feel like I can hyper focus… problem is I can’t control what I hyper focus on…. 100% getting diagnosed after this video!

    • @weakorgeek5620
      @weakorgeek5620 2 роки тому +26

      Potato Jet is the last person I would expect to comment on this but I am so happy he did :) Love your content!

    • @sharathnaik6390
      @sharathnaik6390 2 роки тому +5

      Thanks for suggesting this really it helped me.

    • @NatesEscape
      @NatesEscape 2 роки тому +30

      I've always kind of felt like I have ADHD just never been diagnosed, I'm terrible at keeping to one task but at the same time won't stop when it comes to things that aren't urgent etc...
      I can get so distracted by something on the way to do whatever I was meant to be doing and I'll lose track of time so quickly
      I'm always writing to do lists as it's the only way I can remember to do anything cause I get so distracted all the time.
      I think I will see someone to see if I have it, long time follower of your channel ❤️

    • @bradpaulp
      @bradpaulp 2 роки тому +5

      Hey man thanks for sharing this Ted talk in your vlog. It is insane how accurate these things are. Really hit me. Thank you so much.

    • @BestAudiovisualTricks
      @BestAudiovisualTricks 2 роки тому +3

      Thank you brother for recommending this video on your channel. You could possibly would save my career. God bless you man! ❤

  • @Nishmcbay
    @Nishmcbay 22 дні тому +84

    I remember few years back after my wife died, I was left alone with 3 kids. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Got diagnosed with ADHD. Not until a friend recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment changed my life for better. I can proudly say i'm totally clean for 6 years and still counting. Always look to nature for solution to tough problems, Shrooms are phenomenal.

    • @Joeyann
      @Joeyann 22 дні тому

      I love hearing great life changing stories like this. I want to become a mycologist because honestly mushrooms are the best form of medicine (most especially the psychedelic ones) There are so many people today used magic mushrooms to ween off of SSRI medication- its amazing! Years back i wrote an entire essay about psychedelics. they saved you from death buddy, lets be honest here.

    • @ErnestoHorner88
      @ErnestoHorner88 22 дні тому

      Hey mates! Can you help with the source? I suffer severe anxiety, panic and depression and I usually take prescription medicine, but they don't always help. Where can I find those psilocybin mushrooms? I'm really interested in treating my mental health without Rxs. I live in Australia don't know much about these. I'm so glad they helped you. I can't wait to get them too. Really need a reliable source 🙏

    • @DonnDenisse
      @DonnDenisse 21 день тому +3

      YES sure of mycologist Predroshrooms. I have the same experience with anxiety, addiction. Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.

    • @joethomas-x6q
      @joethomas-x6q 21 день тому +2

      I'm so very happy for you mate, Psilocybin
      is absolutely amazing, the way it shows you things, the way it teaches you things. I can not believe our world and our people shows less interest about it's helpfulness to humanity. It's love. The mushrooms heals people by showing the truth, it would be so beneficial for so many people, especially politicians and the rich who have lost their way and every other persons out there.

    • @MartFrancis
      @MartFrancis 21 день тому

      Where do I reach this dude? If possible can I find him on Google

  • @rustyspoon25
    @rustyspoon25 3 роки тому +1060

    I feel like everyone thinks ADD/ADHD isn’t that big of a deal but it really has a huge impact.

    • @matthewrammig
      @matthewrammig 3 роки тому +68

      Yes especially if you don’t fully realize the impact it’s having on your achievement in life

    • @iam_sherlocked8421
      @iam_sherlocked8421 3 роки тому +15

      yesss! and many people know the stereotype, but doesn’t even know what (for example) sensory overload is.

    • @nickvanamburg
      @nickvanamburg 3 роки тому +12

      Yes! I always suspected I had ADHD, but even I didn't think it was a big deal. It wasn't until recently that I actually started learning about it, and I realized the huge impact it has had on my life. But now I'm so glad that I've learned about the community around ADHD, and I don't feel so lonely and self-conscious anymore.

    • @yotam8267
      @yotam8267 3 роки тому +3

      @@nickvanamburg Same, I knew I had ADD since a young age since it runs in my family, but only now i'm learning about how it affects my life in so many ways that I thought had no relations with it.

    • @piggyofoz
      @piggyofoz 3 роки тому +5

      Nick VanAmburg Same over here! It’s like what this ADHD coach she interviewed said, you almost go through the stages of grieving reflecting on how you have been struggling with those impacts all these years. I put my name down last week to see a psychiatrist and get properly assessed. Wish me well!

  • @kjh5317
    @kjh5317 3 роки тому +364

    “I have potential but am failing, so it must be my fault, all my fault.” That. The painful ability to relate to that.

  • @jbird1152
    @jbird1152 3 роки тому +1881

    I was getting teary at this. For those of us with ADHD, it often feels like society is built in a way that we cannot succed. Just today, I was getting down in the dumps about how I have all these goals, but i feel like my ADHD is stopping me from making any real progress (on top of high functioning autism and an anxiety disorder). This was a heartwarming thing to watch.

    • @bejlicaushaj7169
      @bejlicaushaj7169 3 роки тому +13

      Hey but we still around kicking it

    • @vishnuprajapati7786
      @vishnuprajapati7786 3 роки тому +9

      are you me?

    • @mariahconklin4150
      @mariahconklin4150 3 роки тому +5

      I agree. I felt that today when work was just one big nightmare or felt like it to me. It gets depressing to.

    • @legendkillersshittyduffleb932
      @legendkillersshittyduffleb932 3 роки тому +6

      @@techtutorvideos damn man so true. This is why I'm never going too college again

    • @vocalsunleashed
      @vocalsunleashed 3 роки тому +21

      I relate. I also have "high functioning" autism (Asperger's originally) and have struggled with anxiety all my life. Add depression and PTSD to it and you get the biggest failure I know, me... Besides not living up to my own expectations, I also keep getting comments from those around me. At times I wish I lived in a different world.

  • @g1productions305
    @g1productions305 Рік тому +37

    She displays a symptom of adhd ,not being able to control her emotions. Thank you I appreciate you 🙏 Mrs. McCabe

  • @Lev15157
    @Lev15157 7 років тому +1355

    "its like our brain keeps switching through 30 different channels and someone else has the remote". i have never felt so understood in my life

  • @RedSquareLanguage
    @RedSquareLanguage 3 роки тому +447

    These comments make me feel less alone in this world.

  • @BlackKyubi1
    @BlackKyubi1 5 років тому +877

    "If you really wanted to, you could do it better than anyone"
    My mom said that always to me when i was struggling with something. She doesnt understand how much this hurts.

    • @ellygreen4383
      @ellygreen4383 5 років тому +42

      Safak Aksin I heard “you can do anything just put your mind to it”

    • @isabellevasquez7433
      @isabellevasquez7433 5 років тому +36

      I would get “if you aren’t getting As you just aren’t trying hard enough”

    • @rosegarden69
      @rosegarden69 4 роки тому +35

      "I don't see you trying, if you were trying then you would have finished already"
      Thanks Mom, you made me feel like I was wasn't good enough. But that isn't true, it isn't true for me or you. Always remember that your best effort is always good enough, you are good enough.

    • @Haveagreatdayight
      @Haveagreatdayight 4 роки тому +10

      My mom told me something similar today. Doesn’t feel too good.

    • @danielcash1037
      @danielcash1037 4 роки тому +16

      I have nothing to say but... I Know how it feels. Was told once in a serious talk that apparantly i was only putting %20 of my effort in and if i really tried and bothered i could be really good. the ting is, i hated writing essay's about pointless things that i didn't enjoy, I loved learn about things like psychology and music and computers... there was no way I could focus doing something mundane but I could focus more than anyone else at something I loved... Guess I did have something to say huh...

  • @LifeisaBeautifulting
    @LifeisaBeautifulting 2 місяці тому +5

    I started crying when she started crying because I really understand how she feels. Feeling like you have so much potential but can't reach it. Working harder than other people but other people outperforming you. Feeling like a screw up

    • @MamaAnarchy_
      @MamaAnarchy_ Місяць тому +1

      Me too. I'm crying now. My entire life I've been ignored when I clearly needed help. My life has fallen apart and I still have to wait a year to get an assessment. It's hard out there.

  • @MeeZyStudioZ
    @MeeZyStudioZ 5 років тому +687

    I feel like she understands me more than I understand me...
    I teared up everytime she did because I know exactly how it feels...
    Whats up ADHD tribe? I love yall...

    • @SticksFilmedIt
      @SticksFilmedIt 4 роки тому +3

      MeeZy StudioZ I love you to ❤️

    • @sonja0707
      @sonja0707 4 роки тому +2

      Me too

    • @treyGivens1
      @treyGivens1 4 роки тому +4

      We need a church and entirely separate infrastructure. We need to build systems just like NT's built systems that work for them.

    • @yeatzxkick
      @yeatzxkick 4 роки тому +4

      I'm 11 I'm the same and I don't understand why I'm so easily distracted yet my ADHD isn't that bad and I literally can never sit still or not zone out I feel like teachers and people who say I have potential are lying since why would someone waste such talent on me?

    • @kelelafucksmysoul4340
      @kelelafucksmysoul4340 4 роки тому +5

      I cried so hard at the end speech bc she is really speaking to my soul thanku u saved my life
      Im from italy where’s my italian adhd tribe?! Vi voglio bene siate leoni ruggite!:) siate forti sempre
      i want to connect with all of u from the comment section finally i rly feel im not alone 😭😭😭

  • @babyg9549
    @babyg9549 5 років тому +579

    I felt that
    : “Trying harder and harder and still falling behind”

    • @dmt8332
      @dmt8332 4 роки тому +1

      Dont give up guys...we got this!!!

    • @SticksFilmedIt
      @SticksFilmedIt 4 роки тому

      Me to man I wanna cry

    • @aiva3993
      @aiva3993 4 роки тому

      Yes man...

  • @lieselbrehmer
    @lieselbrehmer 3 роки тому +735

    This is literally the story of my life. I was always a good student until I got to high school and I started to burn out. I developed mental illness and everything became a struggle, and I didn't know why. My mom would ask my teachers if they thought I might have ADHD. The answer was always, "oh, absolutely not; no way. Her grades are so high! She's so good at school!". Now I'm a freshman in college, and finally got diagnosed. I've been pushing myself to my absolute limit for all of these years until I literally *couldn't take it anymore.*
    Edit: The only reason I've been "good"at school" is because I'm smart, a perfectionist, and have an immense fear of failure that keeps me from falling behind. But now, with school all online, it is literally impossible to motivate or override that fear of failure, because it seems like nothing matters now. There's no point in doing the work when I'm not learning anything anyway and can't physically be in class.

    • @hellif.8314
      @hellif.8314 3 роки тому +36

      We are living the same lives huh?

    • @parthp7046
      @parthp7046 3 роки тому +14

      Uhh I think I have problem

    • @kareenabimosleh9097
      @kareenabimosleh9097 3 роки тому +11

      I just got diagnosed as a first year university student at 18 and I went through the exact same thing. I can’t make myself complete a single task or assignment anymore.

    • @lareyna9437
      @lareyna9437 3 роки тому +4

      Sameeeee lol like I went through the SAME EXACT THING

    • @Lukas-jc5fu
      @Lukas-jc5fu 3 роки тому +9

      Yep me too, about to fail 2 of my senior college classes. I seem to fail Atleast 2 classes every semester. And I’m more intelligent than all of my friends

  • @candacecohen2256
    @candacecohen2256 Рік тому +80

    Got fired from my dream job today because I had been struggling to meet their time expectations for finishing tasks. I’m pretty sure I have severe ADHD. Definitely heartbreaking but this video gives me hope. Thank you❤️

    • @hugoa.velasquez3407
      @hugoa.velasquez3407 7 місяців тому +3

      This. When I got fired from my dream job last December, I reflected on my entire life. Diagnosed before 10, at 34 I learned I would never make honors - no matter how hard I tried.
      I had a conversation with my dad letting him know I gave it my all - that's all I could do.

    • @azairvine
      @azairvine 4 місяці тому +1

      Hey how are you doing now?

    • @lydiamathipa4596
      @lydiamathipa4596 3 місяці тому +1

      I hope things are going better for you❤️

  • @jeffknaus6853
    @jeffknaus6853 4 роки тому +1272

    Such a great line: “[we live in] a society that was not built for us”... Amen

  • @minhazulislam9131
    @minhazulislam9131 3 роки тому +1627

    “We not only think outside of the box, we often don’t know where the box is” - made my day. Thanks.

  • @JeffHendricks
    @JeffHendricks 3 роки тому +1641

    "You are not a failed version of normal." You're so right, Jessica. Half the struggle of ADHD is trying to understand that "normal" doesn't apply to us. I wish more people understood this.

  • @nancyautumn2
    @nancyautumn2 4 місяці тому +32

    I’m 76 and am just now finding out I have this, and have lived with guilt all these years.

    • @rebeccaj7164
      @rebeccaj7164 20 днів тому

      The guilt is so difficult :(

    • @rebeccaj7164
      @rebeccaj7164 20 днів тому

      Having the clarity does help though. It gives that self-forgiveness and in treating ourselves with that compassion, I think it also actually helps our brain

  • @erichovatt
    @erichovatt 5 років тому +1170

    K-3 grade: very disruptive but really intelligent
    4-7th grade: doesn’t turn assignments in on time. High test scores
    7-10th grade: doesn’t do homework, very high test scores, don’t know why he’s not trying
    11th grade: skips class, comes late never does homework, great state scores
    Grade 12: barely graduated
    Real world: goes out into world, learns skills, uses energy and outgoing personality to succeed. Has friends, close to family and loves job.
    *flips middle finger to public education system*

    • @moniquej2997
      @moniquej2997 5 років тому +34

      I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 8 but boy, does this sound like me

    • @DavidWhite679
      @DavidWhite679 5 років тому +42

      How did you just list my entire k-12 experience (and thankfully working life)

    • @pierssegal5910
      @pierssegal5910 5 років тому +19

      That sounds a lot like my school experience.

    • @corbinrysavy9297
      @corbinrysavy9297 5 років тому +8

      Sounds like me at this point in my life

    • @heatherwhiteimages
      @heatherwhiteimages 5 років тому +4

      This looks like my son who is 11. Do you wish you were homeschooled?

  • @sinful7qt
    @sinful7qt 3 роки тому +871

    As a mother of a child with adhd. I want to Apologize for my misunderstanding with this disorder. I called it fake, but now I know it’s real. When my son was BORN, I knew he was different. He rolled to his side the day he was born, he didn’t sleep, he talked at 10 months. In preschool, other kids even in saw him as weird. Teachers wanted him out of their class because of his behavior. And he’s so kind, forgiving and loving. As a mom this broke me. He has adhd. It takes 1 hour to do 4 sentences with a fully capable child. He reads at 5th grade level, he’s only 7. He builds legos that are very intricately designed. But he has tantrums, he has difficulties socializing, he is extremely hyper, he is forgetful and sometimes I get extremely frustrated. I cry. He says it’s like 200 pictures in his head at once. Just like the channels you talked about.
    But nothing in life could have prepared me better for my career in teaching. I guess things happen for a reason.

    • @echase416
      @echase416 3 роки тому +26

      Some kids do really well with exercise to treat ADHD. (Meds alone don’t always help.) You may want to read Dr. John Ratey’s book called ‘Spark’. He has ADHD himself and is a psychiatry professor at Harvard. Yeah advocates things such as running once or twice a day to help. Many top athletes also workout several times a day.

    • @sunny5877
      @sunny5877 3 роки тому +32

      You seem like a great mother. I'm glad you understand now, better late than never. In my case my mom got me tested at like 7-8 maybe and yeah I was diagnosed with ADHD or rather ADD early but she never educated herself, she didn't know what it was, all she knew was the spacing out and not paying attention. I still got a lot of blame for my doings, especially as a girl its hard because people expect certain things of you. Problem is I didn't know either what ADHD really was until last week, i am 18 now and 10 years or so got wasted. I wish you good luck with your family and lots of luck with your seemingly very sweet son. :)

    • @ChraChraSE
      @ChraChraSE 3 роки тому +6

      This could be my son. He is 8, speak two languages and could read at 5. Its hard for him to befriend kids his own age.

    • @moonhajung6742
      @moonhajung6742 3 роки тому +7

      Aww, more like a Twice-Exceptional rather than just ADHD. Jessica (the speaker of this tedxtalk) is 2e, too.
      I hope all the best for your son and you. ❤

    • @ashleemiller238
      @ashleemiller238 3 роки тому +3

      That’s beautiful that you’re there for him I wish you were my mom LOL

  • @smokedpelican
    @smokedpelican 4 роки тому +678

    Worst thing always they told me: "If you try harder, you'll get it. When you want to do it well, you can"

    • @windsofmarchjourneyperrytr2823
      @windsofmarchjourneyperrytr2823 4 роки тому +10

      I tell them flat-out. I'll knock it out of the park if it's done in 20 minutes. After that...lol (music major)

    • @bekamcgarvey5397
      @bekamcgarvey5397 4 роки тому +18

      That's something my mom says to me constantly and she just doesn't get it.

    • @iamtics
      @iamtics 4 роки тому +14

      I dont know whats wrong with me other than anxiety... but that sentence "try harder" is NOT as easy as it seems. To some. In 9th and 10th grade i pretty much gave up on some subjects

    • @hostetjd
      @hostetjd 4 роки тому +29

      The problem is that we often have times in our life when we DID manage to pull ourselves up and "try harder." We think, "Wow, that wasn't so bad. I should just do that every day and I can accomplish anything," and then it might be years before you have a day like that again.

    • @scarecrow27r39
      @scarecrow27r39 4 роки тому +1

      @@iamtics same. I thought i was alone. Thanks for this comment.

  • @ajas_eriyal
    @ajas_eriyal 11 місяців тому +16

    "we not only think outside box.we are often aware there is a box" perfect line

  • @savannahswift5862
    @savannahswift5862 5 років тому +441

    I was diagnosed a month ago at 26y/o. This is my life. I thought I was insane, but she's describing my life, and refuting a long history of humiliation and shame. Wow.

    • @alisami3704
      @alisami3704 5 років тому +2

      Are you taliking medications now ? Do you feel any difference ?

    • @WILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLU
      @WILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLU 4 роки тому +15

      Ali Sami I’m a similar age, I just started adderall very recently and it has made a huge difference so far. I’m able to focus on one thing with 80-100% of my brain instead of focusing on 20 things with 5% of my brain on each thing

    • @Vladiator
      @Vladiator 4 роки тому

      @@WILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLU That difference starts the fade as time goes on... Coming from experience and countless anecdotals. Learn strategies to combat ADHD without it, and take it only when necessary.

    • @artman2oo3
      @artman2oo3 4 роки тому +2

      Vladiator I’ve been on methylphenidate - or Concerta - for 10+ years and I’d be lost without it. I take it nearly every day. I only skip it on most Sundays. That stuff is a lifesaver. Sure I try to cope with other ways like routines, lists, TONS of reminders in my phone’s Calendar and Reminders, and using task/ticketing systems at work. But without the meds I’d still be a mess.

    • @aiva3993
      @aiva3993 4 роки тому +1

      I feel you badly

  • @crocbox07
    @crocbox07 3 роки тому +248

    you know what really pisses me off?
    when i get told "just pay attention"
    im just there like, wow why didnt i think of that?!

    • @thetherrannative
      @thetherrannative 3 роки тому +25

      It's like telling someone with depression to think happy thoughts. Totally solves the problem.

    • @Zonezero05
      @Zonezero05 3 роки тому +1

      Ikr

    • @casualnyx3344
      @casualnyx3344 3 роки тому +11

      I've been diagnosed with Asperger's and I am extremely sensitive to certain sounds and movements. My teachers and grandparents (I usually live with them) would often tell me to just "ignore it" when I physically *can't* and I hate it. I know what you mean.

    • @amphibeingmcshpongletron5026
      @amphibeingmcshpongletron5026 3 роки тому +3

      Reminds me of that meme: "Why r u gae?"

    • @porkedbeans5744
      @porkedbeans5744 3 роки тому

      I feel like it’s easier to talk to people with the same condition as me.

  • @SK-gs8vs
    @SK-gs8vs 4 роки тому +708

    I've spent my whole life feeling like a failure. I'm told I'm brilliant, talented, so much endless potential, and I've thrown it all away. On top of that, I get easily overwhelmed and overstimulated, and meltdown. I'm always ashamed. And even though I really like being around people, I'm always interrupting and driving them crazy. Adderall helped, but now I can't take it. Life is really hard. I cry a lot. And I'm already old. Lived my whole life this way. Feel like I blew it. Often think I should check out. Hope I get another chance.

    • @soupey
      @soupey 4 роки тому +69

      S K I feel for you, but you haven’t thrown it all away - now’s your chance. There’s no time like the present to pursue your joy. Past decisions are in the past - let them rest. As long as you’re still breathing, you’re not too old to pursue whatever it is that makes you feel alive. If there are physical limitations, make modifications. Be gentle on yourself 💕

    • @kunalmahajan9489
      @kunalmahajan9489 4 роки тому +12

      I can relate to you totally. I'm 19 and haven't diagnosed yet. But I think there's high chance I've some mental issues with me.

    • @lisalumen
      @lisalumen 4 роки тому +13

      are you okay, S K?

    • @anthozoaz
      @anthozoaz 4 роки тому +19

      you're not alone. i hope you're ok

    • @jamesalexander7098
      @jamesalexander7098 4 роки тому +26

      please stick around oh my gosh I feel all those same things! :--{ but there's got to be something to help, lemme know what you find, pls I hope you get lots of chances, I hope lots of good opportunity comes your way and you will find your ocean like she says

  • @SkySells
    @SkySells Рік тому +21

    “I didn’t have time for friends, I was that busy” That hits so close to home, hearing your story makes me feel heard that I have time.

  • @bruhmoments2936
    @bruhmoments2936 4 роки тому +161

    My parents will always tell me that I’m super smart but I’m just too lazy to do the work and I need to try harder. In reality I have tried to try harder at my work and most of the time I just end up getting distracted anyway. They will start to pressure me into getting work done and that will make me feel cornered and I’ll start to get really defensive and angry. Easily the worst part about ADHD is that nobody really understands how you think and feel and you will just feel like your using adhd as an excuse to not do your work.

    • @mikemeechapro1
      @mikemeechapro1 4 роки тому +3

      Omg yes!!!!

    • @iqi616
      @iqi616 4 роки тому +2

      Look up "the wall of awful". She has a couple of great videos on her UA-cam channel. The wall is my biggest issue.

    • @rayray2528
      @rayray2528 4 роки тому +2

      Yup the same here .

    • @myriamng9078
      @myriamng9078 4 роки тому +1

      Same here and I’m sorry you went through the same

    • @minisode_be2117
      @minisode_be2117 4 роки тому +3

      Actually I think the same with you. I afraid I make ADHD just an excuse to not do a thing. But I really often get distracted and procrastinating.
      Hopefully we can overcome our problem. Good luck for all of us. We can!

  • @livingmorganism
    @livingmorganism 3 роки тому +585

    Hearing her talk about getting on medication and improving so much so fast made me break down in tears. I never got that opportunity, I went all the way through a biology degree thinking something was wrong with me, that I was just lazy and weird. I feel like I'm grieving for the person I could've been, and on top of that, I have to try to undo all the trauma I have

    • @Mangaka718
      @Mangaka718 3 роки тому +21

      this, this is the feeling. I'm still in the process of getting diagnosed (and it's taking ages) but this really echoes with me.

    • @livingmorganism
      @livingmorganism 3 роки тому +6

      @@Mangaka718 same here, you're not alone. The wait time just to get an appointment with a psych is ridiculous

    • @Indigo1559
      @Indigo1559 3 роки тому +33

      Wanted to let you know, I was diagnosed at 12 but didn't get medicated until 23. My first week on medication was the week I was defending my masters thesis in Mechanical Engineering. My professors (including a professor who had me in 6 separate courses, my research advisor for the past two years, and my undergraduate advisor) all agreed it was the best presentation I had ever done, and my advisor was so proud of the work I was able to get done in that past week.
      Even if you're late to the party, the party still is worth going to :)

    • @livingmorganism
      @livingmorganism 3 роки тому +10

      @@Indigo1559 thank you, I needed to hear this. I'm finally starting the road to diagnosis and it's such a pain (I have to wait 8 mo just to get an appointment 😑), but I keep reminding myself it's worth it, and the time it takes is miniscule in comparison to literally the rest of my life.

    • @aleezae
      @aleezae 3 роки тому +7

      I'm going through that rn. I felt something was wrong with me but second guessing that it was just my own faults and decisions that led me to failure. Sometimes I cry and ask myself what happened to the potential people said you I had? Where did that gifted child go? My parents refuse to get me to professional help. I don't want this thing to ruin my life than it already has, I took a gap year to study and still couldn't study.

  • @stasibunny8186
    @stasibunny8186 3 роки тому +725

    Sometimes when I talk about having ADHD or any other mental illness, I feel like other people have it worse, and I am just Being dramatic. It has taken me so long to accept that I am going through problems that are just as hard. I am still accepting that my mental health is just as important as anyone else's.

    • @Zakiiiiiiiiiiiii315
      @Zakiiiiiiiiiiiii315 3 роки тому +15

      u are talking about my situation right now that i am in

    • @YoGirl-zj9lf
      @YoGirl-zj9lf 3 роки тому +11

      This.

    • @stasibunny8186
      @stasibunny8186 3 роки тому +1

      @@gumandarim aww ty

    • @stasibunny8186
      @stasibunny8186 3 роки тому +2

      @@Zakiiiiiiiiiiiii315 yeah it sucks 😔

    • @annika222
      @annika222 3 роки тому +23

      Yeah. Other people have it harder definitely. Some people don't even have food or a warm place to sleep in in winter. But that doesn't make anyone elses problems less of a problem. Just because others have harder problems, your's can't be hard too. Yeah, i broke my leg, but tina broke her leg and arm. Does that make my leg feel better? Does that mean it hurts less? No, not at all. So never, i repeat: Never compare your problems to others. Yours are as important as every other problem.

  • @puppypoet
    @puppypoet Рік тому +30

    She has no idea that her tears just warmed the hearts of everyone in that room, and I am convinced at least one person discovered they also had ADHD and now have a better life because of this talk.

  • @moreforfour
    @moreforfour 3 роки тому +528

    “Spaced out during a lecture” literally every lecture I’ve ever sat through

    • @porkedbeans5744
      @porkedbeans5744 3 роки тому

      That’s so true

    • @JamesFite
      @JamesFite 3 роки тому +7

      She slew me with the whole "I'll assume you spaced out during this one" bit. Well played. She got me in another video, too. Said that when you tell someone with ADHD to do something sometime in the next three months, that person's brain says "Oh, that's not now. Cool." I nearly fell out of my chair. I'm pretty sure I've uttered those words aloud, verbatim, more than once - nevermind thought them.

    • @Mariooo57
      @Mariooo57 3 роки тому +1

      That got me, and I even spaced out / stopped watching to do other things multiple times during that one... I feel like a lost cause sometimes.

    • @oktobersown82
      @oktobersown82 3 роки тому

      Same, every class, lecture, meeting, church....etc. and lose my keys always

    • @starlamoon286
      @starlamoon286 3 роки тому +1

      Same. I had a job interview the other day and the person interviewing me was great but she gave a very detailed and long talk. I started getting anxious that I was going to blank out so I ended up getting fidgety and bouncing my leg so I wouldn't.

  • @CheckeredPony
    @CheckeredPony 3 роки тому +1633

    my ADHD probably wasnt strong enough for my mom to go "something is wrong maybe i should diagnose him" for like 18 years but her traditional soviet parenting and anger issues definitely made it go from like ADHD to AD4K

    • @jasondesouza5151
      @jasondesouza5151 3 роки тому +81

      ADHDers true problem is that society doesn't understand it. It doesn't get that are brains never stop ... Distraction brain , thoughts brain, people talking brain, flashing lights brain, we identify all at the same time, while we are working, or at Thanksgiving dinner or actually carrying on a conversation. We have one speed fast do 20 things at the same time seriously. Non adhd individuals don't have the capacity to do what we can.
      As an ADHDer I fail to comprehend why people can't understand things I find so simple. People can't understand why I'm disorganized well its my skill, 20 things I'm doing, or why I'm late 20 things, why I get bored, 20 things ..
      We need to do things we truly are interested in , that challenge us, and finally society sees us. Society needs to learn about this debilitating illness and super power!!!!
      I'm proud to be an ADHDer. My life actually has been a disaster, I've lost 25 to 30 jobs, been arrested for dui not having a drink, socially awkward, no friends, etc...
      I wonder how different my life would have been if diagnosed as a teen, not as a 45 year old man... 🤔

    • @miriambailey3557
      @miriambailey3557 3 роки тому +194

      I wish I had a more helpful reply than this, and yet... "ADHD to AD4K" is too damn hilarious to ignore 😂

    • @bobwilson679
      @bobwilson679 3 роки тому +14

      @Checkerëd I don’t know if you know this, but the symptoms of PTSD can sometimes be similar to that of ADHD. I honestly think you might have compounded symptoms from both ADHD and PTSD.

    • @molliemarissa6189
      @molliemarissa6189 3 роки тому +27

      Oh my gosh this made me laugh out loud, thank you. AD4K.

    • @awildelife
      @awildelife 3 роки тому +4

      I shouldn't have laughed at this

  • @johnp1277
    @johnp1277 3 роки тому +345

    " I was tired of trying...putting more effort into life than everyone else, and falling farther and farther behind... " boy, that sounds so familiar

  • @vigancarkaxhiu2672
    @vigancarkaxhiu2672 Рік тому +34

    I'm 40 and I knew, more or less, that I had ADHD. I literally started crying uncontrollably because of a video that understands me right now.

  • @alme7331
    @alme7331 5 років тому +443

    "We learn how our brains and bodies work by watching those around us. And when yours works differently, it can feel like you're broken"

    • @Amirah_Love
      @Amirah_Love 4 роки тому +1

      Al Me this

    • @kris1846
      @kris1846 4 роки тому +8

      Exactly. Broken. That is exactly how I have felt (& been treated) most of my life. I wasn’t diagnosed till I was 42 & I read someone’s experience living with adhd. Now I’m 49 & realizing that my medication hasn’t quit working. I use timers & lists etc & I have about 50 alarms in my phone. Half of them go off every day! 🤦‍♀️

    • @dubshockmedia1110
      @dubshockmedia1110 4 роки тому +2

      This

    • @trinitiebabcock9087
      @trinitiebabcock9087 4 роки тому +1

      Yah...

  • @Killcupidsaaki17
    @Killcupidsaaki17 4 роки тому +675

    When she mentioned losing her job 15 times i choked up and started crying. I feel like im not alone or a total failure and its the first time in years ive felt like that after going through the same thing.

    • @lunacouer
      @lunacouer 4 роки тому +23

      Sammmmme. I've gone my whole life internalizing that "I'm a failure" message because I couldn't do the basics like keep a job more than a year, whether because I chose to or because they chose for me, lol. Learning about my new ADHD diagnosis is the first time I've actually felt normal, if that makes sense.

    • @EPSGplayer
      @EPSGplayer 4 роки тому +2

      HAHA I’ve only lost my job 3 times.

    • @lunacouer
      @lunacouer 4 роки тому +6

      @@EPSGplayer Rookie 😉
      Just teasing. Hoping you find your ways to what works for ya.

    • @bicuriousdirtbikeboi2594
      @bicuriousdirtbikeboi2594 4 роки тому

      I’m so happy you have overcome that!

    • @aquaaack422
      @aquaaack422 3 роки тому +9

      I just lost my 9th job today. I really needed this. ✨

  • @andyruci7426
    @andyruci7426 3 роки тому +223

    "You are not a failed version of normal, you're different, you're beautiful and you're not alone" 💔

  • @Nappybara97
    @Nappybara97 7 місяців тому +5

    I'm writing this just to express my emotions. I'm 26 and was just diagnosed with ADHD and right now, I'm at the lowest point I've ever been. I feel so lost in my life and it feels as if there's nothing I can do. But this video has shown me that there's others out there who struggles with everyday life and they found ways to get out the darkness and find hope. These past 26 years has really messed up my mental and I'm struggling to change. I'm trying to discover myself and learn to walk MY path. I WANT TO LIVE! (Nico Robin)

  • @lilliankessler7140
    @lilliankessler7140 3 роки тому +696

    Convo that happened in my house:
    "It's like you don't want to succeed"
    "I DO wanna get good grades, I DO wanna finish my chores in time, I DO wanna succeed"
    "Than why don't you?"
    "because i cant"
    "you just need to APPLY yourself"

    • @mileyappiah7430
      @mileyappiah7430 3 роки тому +44

      this. I want to do good so badly and I try I just cant and my parents just think I'm not trying hard enough.

    • @lilliankessler7140
      @lilliankessler7140 3 роки тому +35

      @@mileyappiah7430 Yea. Its hard to put into words what this feels like too. Because you aren't just failing your parents, you are failing yourself, letting yourself down. Its not like we don't fight for success.

    • @jomana1109
      @jomana1109 3 роки тому +16

      It’s like we’re living the same lives damn

    • @bennyton2560
      @bennyton2560 2 роки тому +18

      istg people who don't know this is a serious problem be like "well just don't have ADHD"

    • @nickoliver3523
      @nickoliver3523 2 роки тому +4

      Haha try getting a planner

  • @ryanschramm8147
    @ryanschramm8147 3 роки тому +451

    One of my favorite games to play is tell someone about your disorder without naming it, and seeing how seriously they take it until they hear it's ADHD

    • @tabeabrummer3484
      @tabeabrummer3484 3 роки тому +112

      Yes, I always say that I have a neurological disorder that impacts executive functioning, making it really hard for me to carry out everyday tasks. Always fun to see how people's reactions change as soon as I mention it's adhd

    • @bobs1fan706
      @bobs1fan706 3 роки тому +96

      This. This is the reason I'm so reluctant to tell anyone about my ADHD, I don't want people to see me differently. In the aspect of people thinking I'm making excuses and lieing. People don't really think ADHD is real and it's a shame. It prevents people like me and many others in this comment section from talking to people and getting the help they need

    • @comdrive3865
      @comdrive3865 3 роки тому +9

      your average human is so weird.. or is it just because they all have the same reaction?

    • @EssentialBlue
      @EssentialBlue 3 роки тому +19

      Before I even knew that what I have is adhd I told a collegue with depressions, that I myself have a neurological disorder. I thought that since he has his own problems he might understand me. He did not at all. He didn't even believe me.
      Reactions from people are often different from that what you expect. I don't believe it matters to them what you have as long as they understand you and your symptomes.
      I like your game of telling without naming it (until later). Maybe I should try that.

    • @DiamondPugs
      @DiamondPugs 3 роки тому +7

      @@techtutorvideos Man, I gave up when I couldn't get my own mom to understand me and accept me. If my own mom won't get it what hope I have to get anyone else to do it.

  • @IamMissPronounced
    @IamMissPronounced 6 років тому +1226

    I burst into tears when she got emotional, because I've been there. I'm there now. I had an emotional breakdown earlier after studying for hours and hours only to not finish on time, meaning I got a zero on an assignment.

    • @Lavanderdreams
      @Lavanderdreams 5 років тому +27

      I feel you, I’m there too and it’s so bad that I’m failing classes at college

    • @japmtl
      @japmtl 5 років тому +6

      MissPronounced me too!

    • @matt-vv9rj
      @matt-vv9rj 5 років тому +19

      Be happy you are in a school situation tho guys. Once that structure breaks and it’s on you to manage your life, work, problems, you will see how much harder it gets. Im exactly her age and same story. When i was early 20s i didnt think to the future ever. Wish i did

    • @sharacy889
      @sharacy889 5 років тому +19

      My approach to grading students has completely changed, we need to be more mindful appropriate, everyone deserves the chance to succeed.

    • @clementine8009
      @clementine8009 5 років тому +7

      I shed tears too :')

  • @scotttatertot69
    @scotttatertot69 17 днів тому

    31 years old and just got diagnosed. I feel this on such a deep and personal level

  • @noahchatha
    @noahchatha 3 роки тому +870

    I needed this more than I thought. I'm sitting here. Wife and baby asleep upstairs. Realized years trying to be normal....trying to make friends. Fit in. Feeling less intelligent . I'm ready to start healing. I deserve to win too! Thank you so much for this talk. 2021 & 2022 get ready. It's comeback season.

    • @LorJoker
      @LorJoker 3 роки тому +14

      Ayye rs! We just have to find our strengths instead of trying to better our weaknesses! 💪🏽💪🏽 I’m 21 now and i’ve dealt with it since elementary school and most or everything she said hit home! I ain’t cry but it became personal i know you felt it too! And also other people around us don’t fully understand it they just use the word ADHD and don’t fully understand what it is. Neither do we. I would love to join a group!

    • @timetravelvictim
      @timetravelvictim 3 роки тому +8

      Rock on, Brotha! Don't forget to come back in a few months and reply to the comments. Keep us updated.

    • @sensingturtle
      @sensingturtle 3 роки тому +5

      Yes! Keep us posted! All the best and take care :)

    • @Flyingfrynd333
      @Flyingfrynd333 3 роки тому +3

      I feel similar after finding her teachings.... and at the same time, thinking of a new layer of healing to address is overwhelming me while feeling inspired and not alone....aaahhh we can do this!!!

    • @shwetankshekhar7640
      @shwetankshekhar7640 3 роки тому +1

      How are you doing now? @noahchatha

  • @ealdie24
    @ealdie24 5 років тому +183

    been living my whole life with everyone around me thinking I'm just a broken indecisive person with no direction in life. But what they don't know is how much I struggle to stay focused and try to achieve my goals. I wish people around me are aware of this

    • @nadasabbagh6273
      @nadasabbagh6273 4 роки тому +15

      I have had problem with indecision too. It's the worse part because you can never stay around long enough to reach that potential that you have.

    • @oeu3669
      @oeu3669 4 роки тому

      ealdie24 oMG I FELT THIS SOOOOOO MUCH!!!

  • @julienmakesstuff9920
    @julienmakesstuff9920 4 роки тому +767

    Started crying halfway through, haven't stopped. Everywhere I look, people see 'great potential' in me and can't figure out what's 'wrong' with me because I'm not what they expected. I love the courses I'm taking in college, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to fail them, dispite being ABLE to do quite well. Because my brain doesn't like to perform under certain conditions.
    It can often feel like I'm failing at life, even now, at 18. But to hear that that's not true, that is not me, and that I have a bright and beautiful future ahead. It's more than I could have asked for, of course I'm still crying. This woman is completely amazing.

    • @seancoyle5029
      @seancoyle5029 4 роки тому +13

      Grab it now at 18 im 34 only got told i have it, its taken me to the gutter, no1 knew i was ill, im devistated for myself and my family we have been through so much, needlessly

    • @jazellesevilla4725
      @jazellesevilla4725 4 роки тому +11

      Hello there, as a fellow ADHDer starting college, I am proud. I am proud to see that even in a world where we feel different and sometime hopeless, there are ways to be seen. I see you and your efforts because I also feel the same way. We can do this!!!

    • @zeebree18
      @zeebree18 4 роки тому +6

      I’m scared to try and get help 😭 but I feel like I have so much potential

    • @nikolamnackova3665
      @nikolamnackova3665 4 роки тому +7

      @@zeebree18 I think I have adhd and when i see informations about adhd I feel calmer because that would be my answer for so much stuff happening to me, but I am worried to seek for help, I am worried the doctor would tell me it's something else and that would take me to beginning, to look for something else to answer my brain's behaviour, my questions.. :(

    • @zeebree18
      @zeebree18 4 роки тому +5

      @@nikolamnackova3665 SAME! but I feel like I have so much potential and it’s stunted by multiple inattention issues. I don’t have the courage to seek help. My mom thinks there’s nothing wrong and that I’m just lazy, but says I can go if I please. Statements like that discourage me from going tho :/

  • @jackaldesign1196
    @jackaldesign1196 Рік тому +2008

    I'm writing this from my car, by the side of the road, on my way to a meeting for which I am late, with tears steaming down my face. I am a 43 year old man and this talk just rocked me to my core!
    Thank you! Thank you... I really needed to hear that I am not alone and that there is hope... Your story is almost a carbon copy of mine... How did I miss this my whole life! Your talk has given me a clue and I now think I know where to start...
    Thank you so, so much!

    • @EdenP68
      @EdenP68 Рік тому +42

      I read a book called “The 5 second Rule” by Mel Robbins. It’s been a game changer. Really helped with procrastination issues. Get the audiobook. I think it might work better with our brains.
      I hope this helps. I think I know how you feel. It very isolating. I always felt like I was hiding my true self from the world because I was so ashamed.
      I don’t feel like that any more.
      Good luck to you.

    • @jeri.studio
      @jeri.studio Рік тому +28

      Folks like us whose brains work differently will hear, "there's hope" from professionals & loved ones hundreds of times over the years, but until someone who has walked the same path that we have walked shares their own story of hope, we so often (& I speak from experience) can not possibly believe it. Now that I've found that hope, it's important that I echo this elusive truth that may seem like a cliché until a reminder proves vital: there is hope, AND it can be found.

    • @Nbelenitskaya
      @Nbelenitskaya Рік тому +17

      I could have written this comment. Same age, same story.

    • @Blue_Moon_33
      @Blue_Moon_33 Рік тому +6

      I hope you are doing well, man. Definitely, you are not alone, and there is hope.

    • @Raiyan32
      @Raiyan32 Рік тому +24

      I am 42. I came to know that I have ADHD yesterday. And all my life I have been wondering what's wrong with me? :-(

  • @kristengeorge6289
    @kristengeorge6289 2 роки тому +2795

    I couldn't hold back the tears. My younger years were like Jessica's-full of academic success and recognition-but as I got older and the executive functioning demands increased, I just couldn't keep up. I've always felt like I have to work so much harder than others to simply organize my life without losing my sanity. I just got finished listening to my husband rant about how inattentive I am, how I procrastinate all the time, how forgetful I am, how I choose to focus on some things and not others...I try to explain but he just doesn't get it. I don't TRY to be distracted or disorganized-in fact, I dedicate a huge amount of brain power to fighting ADHD symptoms, but sometimes I get so overwhelmed that I just CRASH. I guess I appear somewhat "put together" to those who don't know me well (they only see the results of projects that I've hyperfocused on), which only causes me anxiety because I fail to carry that same level of excellence into every aspect of life. I feel so misunderstood.

    • @Saffie15
      @Saffie15 2 роки тому +4

      Ye

    • @abhirupkarak5228
      @abhirupkarak5228 2 роки тому +32

      I have also had the same experiences in my life.

    • @jodirose922
      @jodirose922 Рік тому +120

      Your husband does not sound like a good fit for you. If he is ranting at you about your brain issues. That’s not a healthy relationship for you and your brain & your heart. I am so sorry.

    • @migue5955
      @migue5955 Рік тому +14

      You described me

    • @sabinasinparis
      @sabinasinparis Рік тому +23

      I could have written this myself.

  • @RallyRushh
    @RallyRushh 3 роки тому +1085

    I broke down and cried along with her. I have yet to be diagnosed but everything she said was like she took the words right out of my mouth. It's the first time in my life that I've ever heard someone say they've had the same problems with their brain as me and the first time someone told me that it's okay.

    • @moonhajung6742
      @moonhajung6742 3 роки тому +34

      I know right...!!
      The first time watching this, I broke down so early on the video. Every passing minute, I thought I couldn't cry harder than that, but I did.... :(
      Jessica said too many relatable things, brought up too many painful memories, I literally weep the whole video and it somehow still get worse each minute....
      That was my first time ever feeling so understood in my whole life. :"(
      Now it has been a month since that day and I still come back to this video every once in a while. :"))

    • @its.me.mj.anotherone
      @its.me.mj.anotherone 3 роки тому +10

      Same for me. So much crying. I'm 32 now, about to turn 33. She was literally speaking from my brain. 😭❤️ I had no idea.

    • @tempa04
      @tempa04 3 роки тому

      Aw @RallyRush how are you treating yours? I'm certain have it but they say I've got a 7year wait for diagnosis as my doctor doesn't diagnose it 🤷🏼‍♀️

    • @jenniferandrews1917
      @jenniferandrews1917 3 роки тому +15

      Same here. I'm 48 and just learned that I'm actually not a hundred negative things but perhaps just one big different thing. Most importantly, I actually have a chance of becoming someone that I can be proud of. This not only changed my life, this literally saved my life. I was done trying and failing. I even failed at suicide once but was ready to try suicide again and knew how to NOT fail at that again. If I hadn't stumbled onto this video by accident, I would not be here today. THANK YOU ❤️❤️❤️

    • @SoniaSL-RD19
      @SoniaSL-RD19 3 роки тому +6

      @@jenniferandrews1917 it's not an accident that you came across it. I know that she does medication and meditation, but neither of those are what I want to do. I have discovered that putting systems into place is very helpful for me. Watching James Clear videos about habits and also just making things around my house more set up for success and having a routine during the day. Making to-do list and setting timers also really helps me. I have a talking alarm clock app in my phone and I can set it to go off all through the day to remind me to do certain things. It says out loud reminders for me like to get particulars done (his vitamins, water container, etc), to get my son ready for school, make important phone calls, what are you making for dinner and do you need to go to the grocery store (now before it gets to be traffic hour), dinner prep time, did you make the bed and whatever things I want to make sure I get done on a daily basis. I use the calendar in my phone for every reminder and appointment possible. Trying to catch myself when I get too distracted, so that I get things done. Not foolproof, but doing much, much better. Grace, peace, blessings and hugs!

  • @TheKnack-2004
    @TheKnack-2004 14 днів тому

    I'm 55, just got diagnosed, and relate and feel her pain so deeply. Life has been hard, but I now see hope. Love and light to all...

  • @lailabelle1029
    @lailabelle1029 3 роки тому +161

    People with ADHD have such intense emotions

    • @Hajime319
      @Hajime319 3 роки тому +27

      I think it’s actually called emotional disregulation which comes in the adhd care package. She talks ab it in a couple of her vids

    • @Sobek-khufu
      @Sobek-khufu 3 роки тому +2

      @@Hajime319 you've earned yourself a laugh from that care package bit.