How to Give Your Brain the Stimulation It Needs
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- Опубліковано 25 тра 2020
- The things we tend to do when we're bored often don't give our brains the level of stimulation they need. Here's how to make a dopa-menu full of things that do!
Check out more from Eric Tivers here: www.ADHDreWired.com/
Link to "ADHD and Boredom": • ADHD and Boredom
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3:09 timestamp for anyone revisiting the video who just wants to rewatch the D.O.P.A. menu tutorial : )
omg thank you. torture for add/adhd brain to take so long to get to the menu.
THANK YOU. I was hoping a mini overview would be in the description, but it wasn't :p
@@crystalabarr lol I know right?😂😂😂
@@andrew4635 here's the next best thing :)
❤❤❤
So having 37 tabs open, with 5 UA-cam tabs, a Twitch tab, a Netflix tab, with 3 videos playing at the same time is not the way to go??? Asking for myself!
I mean, it's a super common way of coping. Can't just write it off entirely. Is it satisfying? Is it working for you? Sometimes for some people it's not really, but it holds attention well *enough* that they don't need to wander off and find something more satisfying. It's SO individual though. I have friends who are incredibly content doing that at the end of the night to unwind.
But hey, I have to read all those tabs! .. One day ... Not now .. One day when I feel bored and in the mood for concentrating on old tabs?! One day that day will come! And I'm prepared!
@@teigjie I will probably never be that kind of bored, but I am ready!
@@nytmare3448 We're ready! 💪
Ha ha ha...so true
Tip: a fun thing to do with ADHD is to learn languages. try to focus on one or two at a time. it even helps memory
till you get at b1 level and start to get super hard to progress and you stop completely, story of my life.
I would but I have a problem with giving up when it gets too hard to understand
I started this 3 weeks ago! When I'm working on that launguage learning, I feel engaged and I'm learning useful skills for work!
@@itsMARIKO that’s awesome! I’m gonna give it a try. How is your French now? 😊
@@mikebasketball11 I’ve learned so much! I definitely recommend it, gonna start watching French movies (with english subtitles) in 2021 😊
Erick's change in tone when she asked "what if nothing is fun?" Oof, he knows the horrible lows of comorbid depression it sounds like. Definitely anyone out there who feels like they have ADHD and depression be careful and realize it's not healthy to feel like nothing is enjoyable. You deserve better as well 💜
Sadly i`m exactly such a case.
NOTHING makes fun for me.
@@Acacius1992 same here :/ got also the diagnosis bipolar 2 (which can be common alongside ADHD), so that kinda explains it for me
Speaking from experience here....I have major depressive disorder, and am probably undiagnosed adhd or autistic, who knows.
Depression is not always something that hits physically, by any means. It can be sneaky as heck, and you have to know your normal self to catch it. No one else can, at least not as quickly or effectively as you.
So be aware of yourself and of whats going on in your head. See a good doctor, and change if this one doesnt click or doesnt listen.
Definitely avoid drs or therapists who have their own issues, for they can tend to be biased in their outlooks.
If you feel down, weepy, like nothing is worth the effort....or that fun things arent fun anymore....please, go find a counselor. Someone who does not judge, who listens, who can and will refer you to doctors who may be able to help you with medications.
Oh and btw...it is perfectly okay not to 'love yourself', as long as you know yourself well enough to ACCEPT yourself for who and what you are, good and bad both. Then you can respect the good, and work past or around the bad to minimize its influence in your life.
@@RICDirector I sadly have tomorrow endure the shame having to go to a therapist for this...
That moment hit me as well, I had to pause the video for a few seconds a take a few deep breaths
entrées - exciting/fulfilling activities
desserts - overdone go tos
appetizers - quick dopamine/low effort
sides - things to add to activities
specials - occaisonal high dopamime things (temporarily omit unrealistic ones)
BONUS:
- prep your surroundings by setting up what you need to start activities (decrease steps)
- set barriers for unwanted desserts (increase steps)
I wish UA-camrs could pin more than one comment, because this one is really deserving. ADHD doesn't help with rewatching the video to find these points easily without rewatching a thousand times.
Thanks!!!
As someone who wasn't diagnosed till college, I'm glad there's more resources coming out on dealing with ADHD that isn't exclusively targeted for parents of elementary schoolers.
Or boys.
ugh I wasnt diagnosed until AFTER college. Trust me, I really feel your pain with that. I've been in therapy trying to figure out what's "wrong" with me and hitting what feels like a brick wall. I saw a psychiatrist to try to help address my eating issues only to realize that what it is is a lack of stimulation because I had adhd. It's a crazy revelation and now I have so much to learn about it and catch up on and teach my family and loved ones about it.
@@LieutenantSheep same here, I was diagnosed on my 27th. Went to the doctor because I thought I had a burn out. I was sent to a great therapist who in her own practise specialized in ADHD and she regocnized it immediatly.
It's almost as if you get a manual for your own mind! It was really liberating for me 😁
Tell me about it 🙄
It can be hard trying to be your best with this as a full-grown adult
Esp 35+
I'm saving up for two full protocols of neurofeedback. After that I expect to be fully cured. I will report back with my results!
6:41 I have Inattentive ADHD and Depression and it's a crazy 1-2 punch.
Basically, if my brain isn't constantly stimulated, then I "fall out" and it can't be stimulated again by anything, so I just fall asleep. If I can't be stimulated, my brain's like "So.....why am I conscious, then?"
I used to think that's what "boredom" meant. Apparently "boredom" is agitation that you want to do stuff but can't. I thought it referred to that physical feeling of having nothing you WANT to do. So I'd tell my mom "I'm bored" and she would give me extra chores. I'd be like "how tf is that supposed to help? Nothing seems interesting, so you give me something uninteresting?"
This is completely right, this is the holy grail of things
YESSS! I know write I hate it when you say you are bored trying to get some sort of way to not feel depressed but then they pile on more things in your way to do and when you finish you just feel more empty
This was my childhood too.
Of course I never did chores to entertain my brain. 😂
I feel your pain, although I don't have depression anymore. I get that feeling even before doing something that will give me a mental boost. It's quite the struggle.
@@scooterwango your depression went away? I was told mine will never really go away :/
No ADHD here, but prone to depression. That change of tone is the greatest thing to remind yourself this : when the world seems to lose its colours and interest... Don't ignore the alert.
Thank you so much for this video, so helpful even if you're not directly concerned by the ADHD problem.
I wonder if a mild stimulant could help you?? I also can be prone to depression at times. I try to help myself minimize these times by using OTC nootropics and useful supplements and better quality energy drinks like yerba mate or Arizona's energy teas (seems to work well for me). I hope to try out an adult adhd med soon. I feel moderately adhd due to pretty persistent focus issues.
Also you might have a thyroid issue that OTC iodine/selenium supplementation and possibly other OTC hormone balance methods could help. I noticed a positive effect after I started using a progesterone cream.
Edit: I almost forgot to include suggesting a good vitamin D supplement. A lot of people are deficient and don't know it. Not saying it'll fix everyone's problems but if there is a hormonal lack due to that deficiency, supplementation can help.
I have ADHD and am recovering from severe depression. Really happy that the work I have done with my therapist and doctor have lead to some good results, but damn. That tone shift hit, and it was really necessary to leave the impact to take those steps to take care of yourself. 💜
For "adding a challenge" I just wanted to share one my therapist suggested when I'm writing, which is to sit/bounce on an exercise ball. She said some progressive schools will let ADHD kids sit on them instead of at a desk and it helps with focus. It definitely helped me.
I wish work would let me do this. It would be better on my joints, too. Office chairs are not...humane
@@panthercat38 They really aren't!
So that's why I love sitting on a yoga ball
I spend my childhood playing with those on the trampolin. Always helped me think and I never knew why :)
I always end up in the weirdest positions and it's really uncomfortable lol xD
if i could add on to this idea: menu pricing. for example, i like painting, but i know that each time i paint it'll take at least 30 minutes, so that entrée "costs" 30 minutes
I love that idea. Brilliant.
Oooh, that's a really good one.
That is so well-thought out! I like it!!
Or...... can you also break it down into smaller painting sessions? I find that if I go too long on something, I get stuck, and then start to feel guilty as a swarm of other things I should be doing overwhelms me.
@@montannatilton9114 awesome! Thanks!
I just want to take a moment to appreciate the animations in this
Wiggy waggy brain
The overall writing, too. It's extremely funny, I can't help but feel engaged.
Totally agree. This channel is awesome
As a person with ADHD, I feel like a ferret living in a world designed and occupied by desert tortoises. Great video, love your channel!
This is the best description I've read thus far.
Lol great mental image
factual
I am stealing your analogy, tyvvm. lols.
Hahaha that is hilarious
I love this menu idea, I also added a section to my menu called nightcap for things that help quiet my racing thoughts or buzzing energy so I can relax or sleep
I love this idea!
For me ASMR has helped a lot with that! It's engaging enough to stop my brain from churning out thoughts, but at the same time not interesting enough to wake me up or coherent enough to make be scared of missing anything. "Follow my instructions" videos or tapping on different objects are good ones. There are even ones labeled especially for those with ADHD.
"Hes a professional" "Will these tomatoes fit in my nose?"
😂
Professional ADHDer 😅
...The kind of professional I insist on having in my life
@@cherylmaryland4726 for real!!!!
I think my brain just exploded. You mean 3 hour social media binges is not just me being lazy? It's actual boredom? And I can help myself not do this. I have GOT to try this. This is genius.
How did that work out
@@mamemckee2190 Also Wondering... lol
I take the facebook app of my phone when I need to work. I also limit myself to ONLY ONE social media platform.
@@TeresaMorgan1965 You know what? I think I'm going to drop twitter I only hate scroll it nowadays anyway so it might not be the worst idea.... (and it'll stop 4 hour scroll sessions)
UA-cam shorts are what kills me. Start with one then it's 4 hours later and the sun is gone. 🤦♂️
Loved this exercise! Now I just have to remember to do it 😅
This is a friendly reminder 😆
And here's another. Just bookmark the video or something :P
Hope you did it❤
another annoying reminder for ya 🤭
This is another friendly reminder, but this one is meant for the people who have already replied so that they'll remember, too ^^
Sometimes when I am struggling to be productive I have a saying: "Do anything other than nothing". And relatedly: "if you get stuck, start with the easy stuff". I find the mere act of having done something, anything productive really helps me feel like I have started my day, because I can be an Olympic-level procrastinator if I am not careful.
clean one plate, and the rest don't seem so difficult
Sometimes I make a list of things to do, just to trick myself into being productive by doing other stuff that's NOT on the list. 😂
@@willbephore3086 Examples, please?! Just a few examples, to get my mind working - I can't think of anything when I actually want to!
@@victoriamclachlan4596 like, deep clean the fridge/sink, or take donations to the thrift store, or email that person back, or complete that art project - just any of the hundred things that pops into my brain when I'm "supposed" to be thinking about the day's top priorities 😅
I say to myself: "SWE" - Start With Easy! I pick the absolute easiest thing on my list to do - that's better than the self-shaming of doing nothing.
Also: "BTJ" - Boil The Jug! - because it feels like you have done something by flicking that switch and in the 2-3mins that it takes for the jug to boil you may have decided what it is you are going to do next - even if that is having a cup of tea/coffee/herbal, or doing the dishes. It's about snapping yourself out of that mental rut. 😊
The problem isn’t that I don’t have fun activities, it’s that I can think about it but I can’t actually get my body to get up and do it 🙄
That's a motivation issue. There's maaaany video's on that as well. so, maybe put a specific motivation video tab seperately open for the moment you wanna do something but your but isn't moving. Makes it easier to start.
Could be the leaden limb syndrome of depression.
Also could be executive dysfunction, which frequently goes hand in hand with ADHD. Look up advice specific to executive dysfunction and see if any of those tips sound more helpful to you. Good luck!
I set up alarms for fun things and chores. It helps.
@@dandygardner9404 oh that's interesting, could you explain why that could be the case?
I never realized sending too many texts message is brain seeking stimulation. Or realized how many things my own ADHD impacts my life
That hit home for me too. Watching Jessica "type" her "texts" on screen felt like I was looking at my own phone.
I’m pretty sure I’m ADHD and I’ve just begun realizing how many of the things I’m struggling with and medicated for are actually symptoms of it. It really is both relieving and infuriating to have a single answer staring at you while you’re on 6 different medications.
What if you're just starting on ADHD treatment and you've been depressed for so long you have no idea what activities bring you joy or make you feel fulfilled? It's improved immensely since I started treatment, but it feels like I've spent so much time guilty and blaming myself that I don't really know what actually feels good.
Start doing random hobbies until something sticks
To help you choose random hobbies, maybe start with hobbies of people you like, or at least people you think are good people (in case you're at a level of depression when finding someone you like is difficult).
Reconnect with things that brought you joy in childhood. Do they still do that now? Does it feel different? This is grounding but it also helps you find the trajectory of your life in the time since and understand what brought the anhedonia and how it may be addressed.
I gave anything that piqued my interest a chance and tried things with friends that did have established hobbies. Good luck on your journey!!
Go on a hike somewhere the wilderness is good for humans and research indicates it improves mental health also eat eggs they do the same eat healthy and go outside
6:50 I know it was edited this way, but the speed and tone with which Eric responds with "call your doctor" was so powerful. Like...of course thats an issue. Thats what depression is. No judgement, no beating around the bush. I wish someone had said that to me 7 years ago.
Legend says he's still looking for the tomato
😂😂😂
Dang it, now I can't stop thinking about the tomato.
Any news on the runaway-tomato yet?
The sun dried tomato!!!
I kept thinking he's going to tread on it.
Oh my gosh that transition at 4:38 from the specials menu being up on screen to a physical piece of paper was SO SMOOTH!
Ben Saltz ikr
Great comment.... I almost backed that up to see it again!
I wanted to see it in more detail so I put it on 0.25 playback speed and oh my god : DD
LOL yes! I watched it twice
@@annafantasia I wish i could say I only watch it twice 😂
I’m so glad I found your channel. I kept questioning if I actually have ADHD and it’s like every video I watch I’m like “yep! That’s me!” Things about why or how I do what I do makes so much more sense. I have a million crafts/interests and I will often go all out for a week or month then poof no motivation for that activity. This menu seems like a great idea to just do multiple interests for a smaller amount of time so I don’t get burnt out and bored. 🤗🤗
Exactly the same for me.
THIS! I have bins of crafting and half finished projects. Seems like when it gets to a more boring or less satisfying step, I get stuck. Apparently though, it’s not the worst thing so I’m following g your lead and making it dessert rather than entree.
This is me too! I spent so much money on crafts that I eventually try & pick it back up. Even after a year.
Same!! I've been making my boyfriend a scarf for nearly 3 years now 😅 and that's ignoring my dozen other projects..
@@goob748 you may want to check out some videos on aspirational clutter or fantasy clutter. Look for the things you have for "aspirational goob" that are bringing down 'reality goob.'
5:35 "I put my guitar on a stand by the couch" (to make it easily accessible)
Me looking at the MIDI Keyboard (Piano) that's always connected on my side while I'm sitting at my desk (where I work) in awe... I keep discovering ways where I had subconsciously fixed some of my adhd issues. I often take music-playing breaks while working from home at it's great!
This is probably more to do with my depression, but I'm thinking of adding something like "leafy greens" to my menu - things I don't necessarily *want* to do but feel fulfilled once I finish the task. For me, that's like...folding my laundry or doing dishes.
For sure I noticed a big improvement in my mood after trippling my intake of raw greens
for me one would be going on a walk outside!
Totally get that!!!! And same. I don't want to do dishes or clean or laundry and will even procrastinate them. But once they're done it feels really good. Of course they don't get done often because... 😕
Creating kindness in this world takes a lot of effort but its never forgotten. i think u can achieve your dream while helping others but make sure you never forget yourself.
The only way I get myself to eat leafy greens is via green smoothies. Figured out a decent method too..
1. Steam the Green ( I got with Kale because don't want to worry about oxalates )
2. After steamed you can use a measuring cup ( I use 1/3 cup ) to turn the kale in kale balls
3. Stick the Kale balls on a cookie sheet
4. Freeze and then stick them into a freezer bag.
I usually stick 1 frozen kale ball in with 1 cup of frozen pineapple but steaming the kale actually helps improve the flavor. Raw Kale is like eating grass but steamed I am able to do a green smoothie with just the Kale.
I know ya didn't ask but thought I'd share the idea with someone.
I wonder where I’d put “watching ADHD videos” on the menu.
Well it takes a bit for the videos to come out so I'd put it on specials
As I just discovered this channel (who changed my life btw) I would put it in entrees (main dishes for me)
@@kameliaamar1978 Keep an eye on it-it’ll become a dessert before you know it! I’m hyperfocusing rn too 😅
I have just started watching these, so I just let them arrive on the UA-cam homepage. I sometimes give one a pass, but then scrolling again I realize I want to watch it. This was one of those videos....hmm I wonder if a menu list works on post it notes on the bathroom mirror?
I haven't been following her for long. Found her through Anthony Padilla's ADHD video. So for me, I'd probably go with dessert - since I'm currently putting off work to watch videos... >.>
I was officially diagnosed with ADHD back in 2019, but I've had it since childhood. I've watched hundreds of videos, read dozens of books, guides, articles, and blog posts about ADHD.
Your channel, and especially this video, is the first piece of media that I've ever felt was truly, actually helpful to me, and not just written to sell me something or explain ADHD to me without offering any solutions. From the bottom of my heart, thank you very much for doing what you do, may God bless you a thousand times over for your kindheartedness.
Making to-do lists is often considered a good habit, but my ADHD/autistic brain turns that into a rabbit hole as deep as social media, if not deeper, since list and schedule making are as addictive to me as Tetris or Sudoku. I have organizational OCD as well...My friends who I took classes with years ago always told me I was a master of "locker Tetris" because of how well I optimized my usage of space.
"We feel it physically when it's depression"
Mind blown. This is so helpful.
like how?
@@TheZenytram For me it’s in the tear ducts... 😅
@@TheZenytram you just lay around uninterested in anything, not even social media, not sleeping well, not being bothered about eating or washing your teeth, just darkness and emptiness for days
Zenytram Searom for me it is like this: my body feels really heavy and it’s harder to move and everything seems kind of grey and silent and sad
@@TheZenytram It can be headaches, muscle aches, muscle tension, back aches, indigestion, or physical fatigue, just as some examples. Everyone gets these symptoms, but not combined with a lack of interest in everything.
Autistic, not ADHD (though I do have friends and family with ADHD) and your videos are always enjoyable and sometimes helpful. This is an interesting idea. The one barrier I can see for my autism here is that sometimes the activities I do are self-soothing rather than fighting boredom and it's not always obvious to me which is which. Some boredom busting activities won't work if I need to self-soothe and vice versa.
Both autistic and ADHD here and same, the conflict is so real
Perhaps a sampler platter appetizer with the quick hits that target different areas and when you see which ones are working you know what's up. Like dim sum or table order sushi.
I added some fun component to it: Effort-level. It may be similar to the spicyness-level you get in some restaurants with spicy food, since not everyone can handle very hot food. This way you know how much effort something takes to get started. You can also add a difficulty level for how difficult whatever you add on the menu can be to do. For instance, I love to learn things. But, learning things can be difficult as it requires focus. So, playing a game will have an easier difficulty level. You can also do this for moving. Add a movement level. Playing with my cats requires some physical movement when watching a movie doesn't. I tend to forget these kinds of things very easily whenever I wanna do something. This often demotivates me. So, seeing how much effort things take in different types of areas help me decide what I'm up for in that moment
The moment I started watching this, I started a game of computer chess for more stimulation. I finished the game precisely when the video ended. I have no idea what she said...
did u won tho?
@@janabroflovski2572 That's important thing to be asked
@@crazzyflynn2433 exactly
lmaooo I gave it 4 minutes before I was looking for the next "hit"
I put it on 1.25x speed bc it was too slow, spaced out looking at the wall and only got the very last point of the video 😅
We are doing this for the kids as we're headed into summer. "Daaaaad, I'm bored" check the menu!
Brilliant!
OMG I hadn't even thought of that. YES!
Brilliant!
Hi bored I'm Dad
Yes great idea!
@@stm7810 I've already used that one on my kids. 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
As someone who has had clinical depression for years in the past and only recently has been diagnosed with ADHD, I can confirm, you feel a difference with bored of your (conscious) options, and depression, if you're depressed everything just feels gray, and pointless, bored feels more like "I wanna do something, but not these".
Anyway, nice video and interesting idea
Wait, the DOPAmenu has entrees, appetizers, sides, desserts, even specials, but no MAINS? What sort of a menu is that? 😮😮
Definitely right about physically feeling it when it's depression. Boredom is annoying, but depression just sucks the life out of me; ADHD wants me to find things to do, depression wants to do nothing for hours and hours at a time.
This is a really good explanation of the difference. As someone who has been treated for depression for years, but is undiagnosed ADHD, I was really worried at the end of this video that I was confusing the two (and that my depression meds weren't working!!). But you've reassured me that the feeling I get, the paralysis of movement, where I feel the need to do something but can't make myself do it, is definitely an ADHD thing.
I've been really sick of doing nothing or not what i want to be doing lately. This is awesome. And, the best part is, i think i can actually complete this... it doesn't look overwhelming. It looks fun.
I have subbed to you by the way. I'm just on a public account for some reason here. I've known you since i found out about your ted talk in September and started looking into adhd way more seriously than before. You've been an awesome source of information and someone who understands and speaks things that make sense to me. Thank you and keep pushing forward. You're helping lives of many struggling. Lots silently.
Stick it up somewhere.. not just on phone..(a tip more for myself..😋)
I have literally started a list titled "How to stop doing nothing" some time this year. It's not a dopa-menu, but I will try to integrate it there 🙂
I'm thinking the same and actually encourage me to use this tutorial to make this for me.
Oh boi, but it would be the first creative thing since a long time.. i don't know if i can make it..
Anyhow. Today i'm calm and kinda happy anyways, sun and stuff. Maybe today is the best day i'll have for that kind of fun
It looks very tiring to my eyes 😭
I'm running into the triple issue of balancing the ADHD, depression, and anxiety. They're pretty well treated, but the dopamine is hard to find. Plus, I work three jobs+college, so time and money are hard to come by for this.
Time to procrastinate on making this for the next month!
Putting the dopamenu on the phone lock screen is brilliant, to remind us we could be doing something else just as cool. Thanks Jessica
Yes! My jaw dropped when she said that! It's so simple yet so brilliant!
Sounds helpfull, though I think I'd turn to "static clutter", like I won't even notice it anymore and just forget about it...
My girlfriend has ADHD so I like watching your videos to better understand her, and in turn be a better partner. The awesome thing about a lot of the advice is that it works just as well for people without ADHD too. I always look forward to experimenting with the different techniques you suggest and seeing if it will improve both our lives ! Thank you for creating high quality videos !
You’re a keeper. I love that you watch these videos so you can learn to help your girlfriend or yourself. Being & showing Support like these creates a strong relationship.
That's something that makes me cry. Your girlfriend is lucky to have you. I don't think anyone has tried to learn me like that. You're a good person. A very good person. Oh god my eyes are pouring, I can't see the keypad properly.
omg ur amazing trying to understand ur partner 😭
@@Violencejunkie Haha thanks but before you guys praise me too much I had to end up breaking up with her. She had some really serious issues that I didn't find out about until later. I did learn a lot more about ADHD in the process and read a whole book so I can empathize with friends and family that have it a lot better now.
@@Adam-ui3yn I think the act of trying to understand your loved one, so that you can better support & encourage them, absolutely deserves praise! Regardless of how it ended, that was a very kind/thoughtful thing for you to do. I am always tempted to send these types of videos to friends and family who’ve never really taken the time to try and understand ADHD (I wasn’t diagnosed until 36, after my 10 year old son was) - I would be floored if someone actually took the initiative to learn on their own! I’m sorry to hear things didn’t work out, but it sounds like you are still making good use of the info 🤗
I always separate activities into "planning" and "doing" subconsciously
I didn't realise that was an ADHD thing!
"What if you don't find anything enjoyable?" I was thinking the same thing throughout the video and the answer just hit me like a truck
I've been lately having emotional meltdowns practically on a daily basis and I'm overall pretty unstable
Although I was pushing away the idea of needing professional help. I've been to many psychologist in my past but none have really helped me in the long run with my depression but I didn't know at that time I probably have ADHD. And because I wasn't treating my ADHD my treatment about my depression could only go that far.
Next week I'm going to seek professional help but with someone who specializes in ADHD
Thank you
This was the reminder I needed ❤️
Depression and/or anxiety can often present similarly to ADHD.
When he said you feel it physically when it’s depression, my heart just sank. 😢
Same here
"what do you do when nothing feels interesting?" *perks up*
It doesn't have to - it might not be. I have no trouble keeping myself amused, I pick up new hobbies regularly, and every time I do it feels like my life's calling, until it's not. Something else will replace it, but never on the heels of the last, and those times in between really do feel like depression. But they're not, they're just a time to open up to new possibilities. Ask me when I'm in one and I'll tell you I'm terribly out of sorts, but only until I find my new source of dopamine.
thevalkyri so much this
and what is that feel? cuz i feel something and i wanna compare it.
*KIDS IN 20 YEARS* : Why'd she rip up the Specials?
*ME* : _Bruh._
Such an underrated coment here
Corona lol 😆
Literally the best part of this video I had to rewatch it a couple times :D
Their History and Science books gonna be so bulky
Not looking forward to teaching history of 2020 to future students. . . .
Thank you so much for what you do for us ADHD'ers! I cannot begin to express my appreciation in feeling seen, but also the tools you share/provide are so helpful and hopeful!
Love this. Have tried to come up with something like this for myself to cure boredom, but it wasn’t very successful. I think your tweaks will help a lot!
I've learned over the years that setting a timer for small increments of doing things really helps me to feel less overwhelmed. Like 1 minute cleaning, followed by 1 minute of watching, followed by 1 minute of art....(Or 5 mins, or 10 mins or whatever...) The tiny increments are weirdly stimulating.
Doing this with different subjects/assignments is how I survived high school
living life 1 hour at a time helps too.
in 1 hour I have 3 20 min chances to passively complete a task.
Yes, and when I have multiple projects that I can't seem to make myself want to do, I can rotate them, working on one for a few minutes and then switching to another, then another. By the time I've gone through 10-15 minutes of 5 different things, the first one doesn't seem as boring and I can start from the beginning again.
I have found that I work best when I clean 3 rooms at once in a rotating cycle of either 5 or 10 minutes at a time. When one room gets cleaned, I add a new one to the rotation. I can get so much done that way.
I find it difficult to not ignore my timers :-( I have ones that doesn't require me turning it off, it goes quiet on it's own. Useless. If I have alarm on my phone I put them off and then continue. If I put on timer on my phone and then 3 minutes repeats I eventually get up. Being stuck is more of a problem for me than anything else. I can't seem to stop whatever I do. Hyperfocus is NOT a super power...
I was just having a text conversation with some an hour ago about how I tend to be doing multiple things at once to fill the attention void haha. I do try to be mindful with my tasks sometimes, but when I get bored I feel like I wander aimlessly from unsatisfying thing to unsatisfying thing!
SAME. I'm like a SIMS character when they don't have tasks lined up and end up sitting on the couch and missing work.
@@HowtoADHD That's a very good analogy for it! 😄
(And thanks for making this, and all your other, videos! 😊 I shall try to allow for more fulfilling things in my personal Sim queue using these tips.. and a pinch of mindfulness!)
@@HowtoADHD WOW! This is so me!
Thank you for your incredible content. My sister introduced me to your channel through your video on "The wall of awful." I wish I had that sort of analogy 30 years ago. It would have changed my life.
my depressions been on and off walling me and I just want to do anything that will get me to a better tomorrow. your videos help me to feel not so frustrated. here's to breaking out of my mind and getting active!
I'm so so grateful for your work here. This channel is helping me so much to understand my own coping mechanisms.
I'm not diagnosed (yet?) but quite determined to find what would help me achieve my goals and my potential better. And not in a performance and productivity way, but rather not to suffer so much from feeling so limited.
Thank you to you and your team!
this is brilliant, thank you! I realized recently that ADHD might be the reason behind my lifelong sense of guilt, failure, and flakiness...I've found your channel really helpful.
Exactly. I told my mom yesterday, “I don’t hate myself anymore.”
Powerful stuff.
Welcome to the tribe :)
Same here! Years of being told I'm great when I'm not lazy and bashing myself over not physically being able to bring myself to do tasks may actually have a cause. I have an adhd psychiatrist referral but I've been procrastinating because I'm scared that maybe I'm just being lazy or a hypochondriac.
Same. I've cried happy tears watching her videos and reading comments such as this one. I feel like the pieces of the puzzle of how my brain works is coming together :')
I feel the same way :(
I have a "bored box" that is filled with activities that don't need planning, and have all the materials needed for when I'm bored so I don't end up mindlessly scrolling through social media.
I wish that I could then actually do those activities! I think I need to make it more accessible
What sort of activities do you add to it? I'm at a loss - it seems like everything I enjoy is on the desserts menu.
@@brittanybowles5032 What I understood from the video is: if you really genuinely enjoy it, it's not on the desserts menu :) If you only sort of enjoy it, and keep chasing more, but never feel fulfilled, it's dessert. :)
@@brittanybowles5032 I added cooking and writing to mine
I want a bored box now!
I just finished watching the video so I can't say how much this has helped me yet, but everything was so relatable and everything you presented seems like a perfect solution to a lot of my problems. So thank you so much!!!! I was literally taking notes during the video and I plan to implement everything asap, thanks again :DDDD
Remarkable metaphor!!! I love this so much, especially that you went beyond just a standard menu and added sides, desserts, specials, prep, etc. Just genius!
1. Design 3:14
2. Omit 4:35
3. Prep 5:11 (+ Barriers 5:42)
4. Advertise 6:08
I have a similar "menu" for when I'm dealing with a depressive episode. Things that require very little exectuvie function, but can have a big impact on my mood.
I should do this.
I mean, I'm gonna do this :-)
Petting my rabbits always seals the deal 😅
funny, I kinda have that too - it's weird it never occurred to me before to do this for boredom as well
@@Scalemailmailmail 🤣🤣🤣 great comment. Love your sense of humor.
Need a tutorial or steps for this!! Haha
I love your channel so much - UA-cam is a quick and easy dopamine menu item for me but when I click on one of your videos I also get the added benefit of either feeling validation or learning a new coping skill that I hadn't yet thought of. Thank you so much for what you do ❤️❤️❤️
That is the most relatable video call I have ever witnessed. The number of times I've been in a work meeting and had to go "wait, I dropped the thing I was fidgeting with, I need to chase it/pick it up"...
This video is exactly what I've been needing lately; at least once a week it seems, I'll spend an entire day in a cycle of needing stimulation but not having the energy to decide on or start anything. I'm definitely spending the rest of the night working on my Dopa Menu!
I don’t have ADHD but I found this really helpful living in such a stimulating world with so many quick dopamine hits that aren’t good for you in the long run.
I am grateful for this channel and for this video. After watching your channel for a year, I finally found the courage to be tested and was just recently diagnosed with ADHD combined type. This channel really has been a life saver. I am looking forward to using this menu. I have realized that I have fallen back to relying on my desserts and have been ignoring my entrees far too often when they bring me far more joy.
There's always that self-help post or video that helps ya snap out of a social media break. Well this is it. Thank you kindly!
Is it sleeping, crying, then cursing the skies with the excess energy until I angry myself back to sleep? Becaaaaaaause... That's all I got 🤣😭❤️
Thankfully, Eric had a better idea. Cauuuse I needed it too. 😅
My psych once handed me a list of about 500 activities, and asked me to make a list of 100 of them, or other activities, that are fun to do for me. Of course I have by now lost that list, but it was surprising what that helper list brought out. Things I've never thought of anymore, like flying a kite, etc. 😀
@@Xiph1980 Right?? It's amazing how much this kind of thing can help even if we don't finish, or lose it, or whatever.
@@HowtoADHD yes! and it's stupidly simple things too that you just have forgotten over time, being caught up in adulting etc.
Hahahaha I already forgot about the tomato! 😂🤣
@@Xiph1980 heyy, that sounds awesome, I need that li... oh😅
It hit so close to home when he said "call your doctor". I did. I'll have to wait at least another 2 months before I get a place on a treatment program.
I hear you. I called in February just to get "an assessment." Still waiting for the call back to set up the appointment...
@@pierowmania2775 Maybe try calling again to show them you're still interested? I heard that in some programs you get a place faster if you show commitment.
I'm also waiting, ETA 5 months..
may i recommend a site called donefirst.com
I've been trying to get help the last year, had to move towards the end, so called my new doctor only to get told there's no help for adult ADHD in the area through the NHS.
Phoned the private psychiatrists in my area and the initial consultation is £500 with £160 sessions thereafter.
ADHD really takes a backseat to other mental health issues huh
I was diagnosed with ADHD last year at 23 years old. Since then I have poured through thousands of articles and videos about ADHD and common symptoms.. and all of them have the same general theme. I identify with the symptoms described and then the article is over... And I'm left there thinking "okay.. what the hell do I do now?"
Watching your videos... (I've been watched about 10 of them now and I found you 2 hours ago...)Has made me feel more seen, heard, understood, hopeful, and capable than I ever have in my whole entire life. I have cried several times just from feeling such intense camaraderie with what you're expressing. Thank you so much for putting this out into the world. You have quite literally changed my life. I'm currently writing a dopamenu!
I've never felt so hopeful about my life being manageable in a neurotypical world. I feel more prepared for conversations with friends and family who don't understand, and I have overcome "walls of awful" simply because they have a name now. Thank you thank you thank you thank you. I don't even think this long ass comment can describe the joy and gratitude you have given me. ✨❤️🧠✨
I can’t express how much you have helped me. I know what I’m thinking, but don’t know how to say it. You have such a great mind. You always provide me he boost of confidence that I need, when I’m feeling low.
And now I know what I'm doing tomorrow instead of spending 8 hours switching between Facebook, Instagram, and reddit. Thank you Jessica!
I don’t have ADHD, yet I continue to find your content entertaining, educational and relatable. Thanks, Jess. 😁
I can't watch this, I'm gonna cry at work. Watching one of your heroes be vulnerable like this hits home. Especially when talking about family. Much love Jon, from my family to yours.
This is incredible! I was already doing haphazardly attempting this on my own, I can't wait to try this more organized and comprehensive approach!!!
"What do you do if nothing seems enjoyable?"
"Call your doctor, maybe that's depression"
Oh :
Ooooohhh! 😬
Hit hard
Yeah would be useful to have more on that tbh, I had depression for years, probably still do and nothing was enjoyable for like 10 years of my life. And I went to lots of doctors but no one could tell me how to fix that. I’m only just starting to be able to enjoy things again now tbh, and I got diagnosed with severe depression because it was so bad at 15 and now I’m 27. I feel like there needs to be more help than just go see your doctor, cause sure that helps the underlying issues but what do you do until the day that you feel semi ok again especially if that might not be for a really long time? Cause the world doesn’t just stop for you, you still have to do everything everyone else does.
@@dark_baphomet Did they prescribe you ADHD medication? If so...did that help with boredom? If it did... how much? Not trying to delve too deeply. I deal with depression and I feel like boredom / apathy is a big issue.
Not completely sure if I have ADHD though. It was identified as a child but as an adult I don't necessarily fit the mold of a person with ADHD but not sure if that is the depression possibly masking it or what.
I was like yes a tip finally! Then oh. Okay.
My whole life had been dictated by horrible highs and lows from depression up until recently. The depression has gotten better, but then something else took over that i will have a chance to speak to a professional about on tuesday. This overriding boredom that makes me feel awful. Im never paying full attention to my friends when they're talking even though i try. I find what should be easy tasks completely agonizing. I can't sit still. I make poor decisions and take risks trying to shout over the deafening static in my head. All i can say is, these videos have made it so much easier. Im nearly brought to tears by how simple it is to just have somebody understand and know what can help. Thank you so much.
I am just so grateful to have stumbled apon this channel. I always knew I had adhd, but was never loud or hyper in class so it never got much notice. But in quarantine I was having a such a hard time getting off my phone and doing thing I actually liked, and I found this video. Omg am I so lucky. This not only helped me to stimulate my brain, but the whole channel helped understand myself so much. It made me feel so seen and understood in a way Ive never feel before. So thanks jessica for this amazing channel ❤
You could also determine the amount of energy for each Category, like entrees are for high energy tasks, while desserts are low energy
Nerotypicals: I should decrease my videogame budget, when I get bored of them quickly.
Jessica: Increases the budget, because she gets board of them quickly.
I love it!
My Dopa Menu has on the fontpage:
Are you thirsty?
Are you hungry?
Are you actually tired?
Those feel a lot like a dopamin need when it is not😁
So true! Good idea
When you feel like everyone hates you, sleep.
When you feel like you hate everyone, eat.
When you feel like you hate yourself, shower.
This helps me a lot as well. Most of the time I’m just tired and I should sleep.
@@Josephiene I love this!!!!
There's an acronym used in AA to ask yourself: HALT: Are you Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired?
I also like to add Cold! (CHALT?!). Because when i am cold i don't work, and i often don't realise i AM cold because i'm too in my head...
Absolutely love Josephiene's questions too - copying those! 🙏💕😊
@@Josephiene ol9ä
Wow this timing is insane, I've been absolutely unproductive lately (probably due to continuously scrolling UA-cam instead of sleeping like a normal person 🙄😅)
@Maartjie Mulder, I can relate. My sleep schedule has also gone out the window. XD
Are you me?
Jij bent ook nederlands?
Help ons allemaal
Omg same yesterday i stood up until four binging how to ADHD videos...
Not me crying again with your videos omg
I am 25 and I was diagnosed two weeks ago, but I feel I have saved years of therapy with this channel. Thank you so much for this
Yeah well that explains why I spend hours doing research and watching UA-cam and yet can't concentrate on my video On the journal I'm supposed to be doing for therapy. Through this channel I actually managed to meet a wonderful girl who is basically a mirror image of me and we bounce from topic topic faster than anyone can possibly handle except us. It's like a frog jumping on a hot plate.Where your thoughts just don't stand one place long enough.
This is so cool! I am making mine now with a special "breakfast menu" of short things I can do that will get me out of bed without falling into rabbit holes.
That's a very cool idea/ useful addition!
Now I want breakfast.
Love love love this idea!!! Thank you!!!
Can you please make a video on how other mental illnesses interact with ADHD brains? As a teen who struggles with Tourette's, ODC, SPD, ADHD, panic disorder, and depression, I think that would be super helpful!
I hope you don't mind if I poke in on this one. There are parts of this that I, obviously, can't address because I don't struggle with them myself. However, as a person with ADHD, general anxiety, and major depression I wanted to kind of point out how they love to feed off one another. There are a lot of times that I've noticed myself doing one of my bored... need something to do activities... or I forgot about something... or heck the wall to get to the thing was hard today. And I feel horrible about it. I start feeling anxious about my ability or if it's the right choice or if I'll ever be able to do the thing and then when I realize I failed at it my depression kicks me in the teeth. It can be really rough to keep all of that from spiraling because the depression makes it hard to do the things you wanted to do making you feel more and more like a failure and like your totally unable to get a handle on it. Which in turn feeds that anxiety. What I've found helps is my own kind of flavor of meditation. Don't worry about trying to clear your mind, but grab some music. Something... anything you can use as a kind of mental reset button. Get yourself out of that feeling so you can kind of analyze it. Don't worry if it's hard the first few times. The whole point of this is teaching yourself how to recognize when you are being unfair to yourself about expectations. Yea, you didn't have enough spoons or maybe today an activity took more spoons than it usually would. That's okay. It can be really hard to forgive ourselves because of our challenges when we see other people who don't struggle with it. Learn to accept that aspect and try again later when you feel like you can. Much love and I hope this helped
@@KatShaw Thank you for this!!
Yeah, that's a project I'd really like to tackle. Thank you!
@@KatShaw What a lovely comment.
Yeah I'd find that super helpful as well! Lately, I've been trying to find aout more about ADHD & Bipolar Disorder. I suspect that I may have Bipolar II or Cyclothemia on top of my ADHD-C and am going to do Diagnostics after talking to my therapist. I found it extremely difficult to find good info on the subject that a) delineates ADHD from Bipolar and discusses overlaps and when it is likely when it is both. In general I think it is tought to find out if it is either or and and when not (also with Anxiety, depression, ocd, autism etc.. there are so many symptoms that could be reasonably explained by either one or both. I don't 100% trust my mental health provider either, I feel like they just take the direction I point them in, and I think I can get biased so easily. It is just a bit tough to navigate this and to decide what is even useful here.
For anyone also looking for info on bipolar/adhd, this is the best video I found on the topic: ua-cam.com/video/pGUvXPL57as/v-deo.html
Thank you so much for this channel, other ADHD content creators I get bored easy between your visuals and your personality I’m never bored here 💙
Thanks for this. You're my primary source to understanding myself after getting diagnosed at 36. This video will hopefully make me do more things than watching Netflix og being on Facebook while getting more and more restless.
I see that you've also been playing a lot of DnD during the quarantine!
Yes! Games are honestly getting me through!
More people online to play DnD is one of the positives of the whole crisis, isn't it?
D&D is the best - and I have learned that it's perfect for my ADHD brain. :)
@@toni2309 Six months ago, I had barely ever played DnD. Now, I am in three campaigns! 😄
@@katetoolate234 I'm in a DnD and in a Star Wars tabletop RPG campaign. Also, the droid I am playing in Star Wars definitely has ADHD. However that is supposed to work for machines.
I lol’d at rolling a D20 for a snack, I just started playing D&D this week!
Just wanted to thank you, I have a stepson with ADHD and also on the spectrum, Your videos have given me insight into his behavior that helps me understand him better
the "grocery shopping when youre hungry" metaphor is GENIUS
The setup part is so key! I love these activities but the effort of starting puts me off sometimes! Brill advice 👏🏻
Am with u on that one
i swear i'm not stalking you on the internet on purpose but i keep seeing everywhere....i'm not mad
YES! I like to sew and I have to set up for sessions. It helps me a lot.
Especially when my creative area is already messy from a previous project, so I have to put stuff away before I can set up the next one.
I’m lucky my hobby is drawing and painting because my iPad has made clean-up /set-up obsolete. I can create anything I want and just lock my iPad when I’m done. I might make my menu this way also. It’s just having to come up and organize my entrees and stuff that make it not so enticing lol
"-or sending too many texts."
Oof I feel called out...
Me too
Me too
I don't have enough friends to send lots of texts qwq
Me too
thank you for the inspiration! The menu planning also gives me an activity for now. And I finally ordered that felting kit I've been dreaming of since I first tried it 3 years ago so I have something to do that isn't waste my life on social media or scrolling on my phone
Deleting social media has been incredible.
I used to waste so much time just aimlessly scrolling and chasing that dopamine fix
I go to do something on my phone, usually important, and I get distracted with notifications, another something I remember, and forget the first thing I needed to do. It's so frustrating for me and mostly for others.
I'm trying to bypass that problem by making it so I don't pick up my phone too often to begin with. I've started doing this by finding replacements for my phone wherever possible. Examples:
Physical wall and alarm clocks instead of the clock and alarms on my phone.
Writing notes and to-do lists on paper or in a physical journal instead.
Deleting apps that aren't for communication, health, banking, or learning (eg. Keeping fitness and meditation apps, deleting games and social media).
If I want or need to do anything else (like checking emails, watching videos, playing games) it has to be at the computer or TV. I can still get distracted by those things but at least I can't take them with me everywhere 24/7 like my phone. A helpful side affect of deleting all those apps is that I'm getting less notifications which makes this easier.
I like having everything on my phone but it's simply too much of a temptation and I have had enough of the distress it causes.
At least 6+ months ago I could still feel excited about doing stuff, even if I would have at least a couple of days each week of feeling "off". Now my stress, anxiety, etc is probably the worst it has ever been and everything just feels like I need to do a mental packet of paperwork to even get myself to go work on my own business that I used to get a lot of joy from. You and your channel are great, by the way!
yeahhh I'm having a harder time too, I think a lot of people are. Do you have the support you need to get through it? Can you adjust your expectations a bit?
@@HowtoADHD I'm sorry to hear that you are having a tougher time now too. I live alone, which makes everything much worse, although I do have friends I can talk to on a regular basis and weekly therapy sessions via video phone app, I think I need to make an adjustment to medication and/or reduce the overwhelming amount of stuff I need to do.
I too live alone, and I don't that combined with recent world events is helping my mental health any. Not that anyone really wants to know, but I have tried nearly every ADHD medicine on the market and none of them seem to make things much better, and, if anything, just make things worse.
Oh man... this is so helpful! I was struggling for a while scrolling through social media, youtube, etc... but it wasn't really doing anything for me. I almost felt "icky" after realizing how much time I spent on them, yet I couldn't seem to stop? But it wasn't even something I entirely enjoyed. When I looked inwards, I noticed something I can only describe as a HUGE "craving". And this whole DOPA-Menu idea makes so much sense! I was craving something that was engaging, entertaining, maybe even educational! Something wholesome and tasty my brain could munch on! Social media has its perks, but it's nothing near that feeling you get when doing something you really enjoy AND that brings you fulfillment! Thank you for the vids!
Thanks very much for this work.
It is so helpful to have these understandings and to have validated some of the solutions found along the way.
With a standing computer station & up-beat focus music I can move back and forth from less interesting emails to more physical household chores. The moment I see I'm struggling I just stop and move to the next. By the time it comes in front of me again I have the solution or a different understanding of the obstacle - reducing frustration greatly. In the meantime I'm in motion and productive. Finding the right projects to match up has been key for me. Building the deck and setting a garden in the same weekend was not a good match!
When my children were little I would do a very similar thing on the first day of the school holidays. We would sit around the kitchen table and talk about the things we really enjoy doing. We'd also add a star beside the activities that could be done by one person, and a raindrop if it could be done on a rainy day. It was so handy to have this list available.
I'd have a second list, cleaning and tidying, and if someone said everything on the first list was boring they would be assigned a task from the cleaning/tidying one. :o) Almost every time there was a hasty retreat and a suitable first list activity was found.
Thats genius
That's so sweet and cool. I want to do that too. Thanks for sharing!!
Wow now I really understand why I’ve been so miserable without the gym. That was my number one, favorite stimulation activity every single day. Makes perfect sense.
how do you motivate for the gym? I need your secrets lol
Working out helps me so much throughout the day!
@@dsnow6578 throw on sneakers and pick a fun UA-cam video or dance around the house. Then progress to the gym. Make it easy for yourself in the beginning. I also used to ONLY allow myself to watch Netflix
While on the elliptical!
My boyfriend of 5 has ADHD and it's been really hard on us but I really love him so I'm watching all your videos and taking many many notes and learning all the tricks and tips to try and make it work! Thank you for your cool videos💜
I've never been super entertained or entranced by social media. UA-cam however, yeah been through quite the rabbit hole there.