ADHD in Women
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- Опубліковано 30 сер 2021
- ADHD is the same condition across genders. So why does it affect different genders differently?
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RESEARCH provided by: Farah Mahmud, M.S. Doctoral Candidate, Clinical Psychology
Research consultant: Dr. Patrick LaCount
Time stamp: 2:11-2:25
Cite: Young et al., BMC Psychiatry, 20, 404, 2020 doi.org/10.1186/s12888-020-02...
Time stamp: 2:34 - 2:48
Cite: Nussbaum, J Attention Dis, 16, 2, 2012 doi.org/10.1177/1087054711416909
Time stamp: 3:08
Cite: Nussbaum, J Attention Dis, 16, 2, 2012 doi.org/10.1177/1087054711416909
Time stamp: 6:54 - 7:03
Cite: Hinshaw et al., J Consult Clin Psychol, 80, 6, 2012 dx.doi.org/10.1037%2Fa0029451
Time stamp: 6:01 - 6:05
I totally forgot where I put the research on this one, I'll add it when I find it again
Additional resources: knowablemagazine.org/article/...
Music for "ADHD in Women:"
"The Show Must Be Go”, “Carefree”, “Life of Riley”, “Bittersweet”
Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
creativecommons.org/licenses/b...
The frustration and struggle is very real! I can’t even clean my house without making a mess. Unsure if that makes sense to anyone. I hate when people put labels on others without getting to know them. Everyone goes through something. I’m going back to school and I’m making sure that I advocate for myself. I’m scared, but I’m determined to not let ADHD keep me from growing. This video is so relatable! I understand all of it😔
When I clean the house I keep thinking about cleaning the things I clean the house with. Does that make sense? And take whole hours on simple tasks.
“How come the more I clean the messier it gets?” - me every time I clean the house.
@@GoADHDGo my kids and significant other left for a few days and I cleaned the whole time. The house was clean, but everything wasn’t put in its place. I’m trying to correct this, but it has been challenging and exhausting. When I do accomplish a goal, everyone messes my hard work up. I pout, look at the mess/clutter and try to get mentally prepared. Most of the time I get frustrated, yell at everyone and tell them that I’m not picking up or will just look at the clutter and feel like taking a nap. The struggle!!!!
@@N0Xa880iUL I get it😂😔😒
@@GoodGrief101 Oh the "looking at the mess sleepiness" is so real!
"Our struggles being invisible to others doesn't mean they're imaginary." Thank you!
For real, though. Preach!!!!
I want that quote cross-stitched on a pillow.
This also applies for chronic pain too
Thank you.
Thank you
My doctor wrote in my medical file: 'She thinks she has ADHD, I don't think so, she is a really calm girl'
I was over 30 with a teenage daughter. So calling me a girl says enough about how much she took me seriously.
We are calm from outside but what about inside??? ❤️🩹 its loud, disturbing & clumsy. One can’t feel right like this…
I’m proud of you & feel sorry for the doctor.
@@mytinyw0rld About what I was going to say. Calm is a --------- struggle
I hope you changed doctors (if you can )
Being taken seriously is such a struggle, right?
I hope she's your former doctor now.
Oh good effin' grief.
So, if you're loud and fidgety you're nervous, or even hysterical --> "She's probably just exaggerating / wants attention"
If you are calm and self-controlled --> "nah, she's a calm girl".
The saddest thing about this is that this is another woman pulling that BS on you.
The amount of people that told me I can't have ADHD cause I'm not bouncing off the walls or did well in school was astonishing. My symptoms only became externalised when I started my career. Diagnosed at 23 😔
this is the same experience i'm having... I feel like I'm struggling so much more since I entered the working world ?
I know my best friend (as a now trans dude) growing up had it and he was hyperactive they had to take him for laps 😅 so they always thought I was fine. Meanwhile I’m literally internalizing stress so hard I throw up before any exam in damn 3rd grade, insomnia at a young age, self harm at a young age. I think of being in primary school and already exhibiting a level of responsibility, stress and depression that as a nurse now I would find very bizarre or at least concerning for a child. I mean its the kind of weird development that comes out if children of neglect unfortunately so mix that with tiger mom level expectations gets a little spicy 😬. I actually didn’t believe my therapist when she first told me because I had just always been told people like me just pick up the label from people like my friends to avoid responsibility for their actions and laziness per my mother when I discussed it with her on a visit after that session 😅 also a healthcare professional.
Wow!!! Relate to this so much!!! I’m not diagnosed yet. I want to go get checked out. I didn’t realize my everyday symptoms coincided with ADHD until after college too and started working as a teacher.
My therapist last year when I mentioned adhd was just like did you pay attention in school. It shows to me they don't know much about it for women.
Literally the same issue I was having a while ago with my dad. I told my dad I wanted to get tested bcuz I had a suspicion that something may be going on other than just the depression that I’m already diagnosed with. He was like, “nah, you don’t have it cuz you do good in school and aren’t hyperactive”. But, literally, I have growing suspicions that I might have it. I exhibited a lot of adhd symptoms that little girls have that I didn’t realize until I thought back to how I was as a kid when talking to my close friend. Thing is, that my psychiatrist said that he can’t just give me adhd meds cuz it’ll affect my depression meds, but like, i just want to be diagnosed with whether I actually have it or not 😭😭
"ADHD symptoms can be affected by your menstrual sycle" - This hit me like a brick. So much makes sense
The same applies to stimulant medications too, I've noticed. My Adderall doesn't work anywhere near as well on my period, and I've heard many women with ADHD say the same. Some girls get boosters for their time of the month
I have two different strengths of medication depending which part of my cycle I’m in! It’s been a huge improvement in how effective the meds are for me!
Wow @@Cassie_28I've never knew that was an option
@@jadey_wadey333I am definitely going to have to talk to my doctor about boosters I've never even heard of a booster
what kind of things change(d) based on your menstrual cycle?
I'm asking both the person who made the parent comment and anyone who's willing to share.
_"No one should have to go through life blaming themselves for how their brain works."_ This hit me real deep.
Same.... i feel guilty since i was born and probably will keep feeling :)
I agree. That hit me deep. Im still learning about myself. But moving from a toxic place(to a whole new state) helped give me a fresh start.
I’m tired of beating myself up over what my brain can and cannot do.
Saaamme, made me tear up
I started crying loudly when she said this
Hi, Im currently 14 years old and I think I may have ADHD but my parents think I'm ''overreacting'' because I'm not bouncing of the walls. They didn't want to bring me to the doctor, so I called them myself after watching this video. Guess what, my doctor thinks that I have ADHD, so he wrote my parents a note. So now I have an appointment next week for an official diagnosis. Thank You!
I am happy for you. I hope you get proper support ❤️
So amazing you advocated for yourself!
Good for you!!
Yay! Happy for you, that you're catching it so early! Wishing you the best. 🙂
Lucky while my dad said its just my phone 📱 and its hard sometimes I wanna study but my mind won't stop with my phone
Whenever I was called "lazy" I felt I was being called worthless and a moocher. I cried when you said this was a symptom. And that it's not actually true. Thank you so much for this.
The way our society equates income and wealth with value as a human being is tragic, especially at a time when wealth is becoming more and more concentrated in the hands of the few! 😒
I constantly feel like I'm lazy. The executive dysfunction hits me hard.
recently turned 38 and just diagnosed with ADHD. Was pretty much at breaking point feeling that my brain was broken and there was something so fundamentally wrong with me. I just cannot stop watching these, everything makes sense and for the first time in a very long time I have hope that maybe I am not as broken as I feel. Thank you for this channel.
Same. Just diagnosed at age 44. Hoping meds will help as well as learning more strategies I can implement in my daily life.
My daughter also has it but not yet diagnosed. She sees the dr in a few days. I suspected she had it years ago but then we discovered sleep apnea, Lyme disease, dyslexia & dyscalculia for her. The drs & psychologists dismissed the idea of adhd bcs of these other things. But now those are mostly controlled and it seems the adhd is more apparent than ever esp since she hit puberty…
I’m 37 and believe I have ADHD 😢
Not broken, just different, atypical, and thus not what humanity, as a whole, has mostly built society for, as a whole. We’d probably make great hunter-gatherers! “Hey, hold on, is that a rabbit I see over there? AND the type of edible berry bush in season right now? JACKPOT! 😃” ☺️
@@ZazezooWelcome to the club! Make yourself at home! Water, because we never remember to hydrate? Trail mix, since we struggle to eat regularly? Fidget toy, so you can actually process what I’m saying and complete a thought? ❤️
That's true. When most people think of a person with ADHD, they're not thinking of a 34-year-old woman who has trouble keeping up with housework. They're thinking of a 10-year-old boy who acts out in school.
I'm a 34 year old woman who has trouble keeping up with housework. I'm so creeped out right now lol
Yes! It’s not for lack of trying
So true.
Or a 23 year old failing part time college due to getting too ill too far into the semester to complete it (unknowingly caused simply by the amount of anxiety and guilt tripping she does to herself...)
That happened to me @Elizabeth S
The whole “but you were a good student” or “it’s just depression” is my whole life. I’m still looking for a provider to help.
Same 🙄 💕
I hate when people talk about depression like it's a very tiny minor cat scratch on your hand. Depression is a very serious mental disorder that took many lives, destroyed twice as many, and keeps affecting the most vulnerable individuals the most, the ones who kept calling for help before it happened but never received it in the first place.
My mom said to me just the other day, about my heavy depression ' everybody has ups and downs'. If depression is ups and downs then what is adhd I wonder..
@@iffragaatt6374 ADHD is the labels my family gave me-Lazy, unmotivated, clumsy, numb skull- or “everyone gets distracted” no they don’t they don’t feel it physically.
@@Kokose 🙌🏼 Spread that truth ✌🏼💜
Sitting here bawling my eyes out. Everything you said felt so real. Finally starting the process to get a diagnosis at 28 for what I’d thought was anxiety, depression, laziness, disorganisation my whole life
Here’s to your healing 🥂
I think I’m about to learn this just u are I have same problems
"No one should go through life blaming themselves for how their brain works."
That literally got me crying within seconds.
I've been feeling like that my entire life.
I'm 18 now.
I cried halfway through because I’ve never heard of other women having the same troubles I do.
You're not alone. ❤
Same…
I did the same thing.
SAME!
Same here
“No one should have to go through life blaming themselves for how their brain works” PREACH!!! 🙌🏼
Thank you
🙌🏼 Oh honey yes!!
I actually do that…. I have adhd.
Thats been me for years
I went undiagnosed for 26 years because I was a good kid and a good student. So I can relate to you. I finally got diagnosed last month and started on stimulants and my life has drastically changed. I wish I would've been diagnosed as a child.
Same here
As a spouse to someone who suffers from ADHD, you are amazing and so helpful! You have no idea the impact this is having until you talk to those who watch it, relate to it, and discover how it helped. In our case, my wife hit an intermittent menopausal state. This meant so many changes were happening day-to-day, I as someone not with ADHD, could not understand the issues we were having. I was considering a life without a 21 year long partner! Because of your videos, especially this one, I am able to have renewed hope. I now know it is me that needs to understand. To support her. To see the changes through and not to throw away 20+ years with someone because of it. Communication was the biggest factor. She is reluctant to tell others. I have led her to your videos. I am hoping they help her too. I know my part. This has changed our lives and I dare say saved a marriage!!! Thank you!
Bless you for being understanding. It is already so hard! Most of us were told we didn't have this issue so it took us longer to be diagnosed. It really is hard and we are hard enough on ourselves for our short comings.
please also check out Dr. Russell Barkley - he has books for family members
"I'm still learning how to make friends" ... oh, I feel that deeply.
I'm reading this while I'm at the Uni sitting alone cuz I don't know how to socialize. And I'm 27. I feel 20
I cant actually, there are too many neurotypical people around in real life. T-T
@Aimee Castano Are you me? I’m 28 and just now finishing my undergrad. I act like I’m in my early 20s and no one knows my age. Yet it feels so hard to just start talking to people cause I still feel insecure. It’s been good seeing that I’m not alone in this.
Same, I just want to skip to the part where we are friends and know each other y'know?
Me too!! I started crying when I heard that. I am too and I'm not sure that I'm doing a good job yet but I'm trying.
I mask my ADHD pretty well, and was lucky enough to have an evaluator who was sensitive to that. She told me something that really stuck with me - "You seem outwardly like you're doing well, but I suspect you're doing a lot of extra work to seem that way. And you don't have to keep doing that if you don't want to, there are tools and strategies that can make things easier on you."
Same for me! I didn't even realize that others didn't have to do so much internal work do the same tasks/quality of work. When I did realize it...I blamed myself and didn't consider ADHD.
That statement right there, what she told you, super important! Really hits home for me. I saw on one of the other videos here that ppl with ADHD "live life on hard mode" and omg its SO true. Id love to not have to try so hard!
I would cry if someone said that to me
That's some great advice! It's very rare for someone to be so understanding that they realise it's sometimes better for our organisation to suffer a little bit if it means we're not working 3x harder than others to meet their standards.
Hope your journey is going well Mim,
I'm an Autistic/ADHD person and always happy to meet new people if you want to keep in touch! 😄
@@violetivy I just about did! I think if we weren't in a formal setting I would have.
I’m a 47 yo female and this very helpful message brought me to tears. My 23 yo daughter recently pointed out the possibility of my having adhd. I was actually offended in a small way. Then your video popped up in my feed 2 days later. This message is to thank you for educating me and bringing context to the physical and emotional pain I have felt my entire life and unfortunately unleashed on my children.
I was diagnosed at 48. That was about a year and a half ago. I have always thought I was crazy. I didn't fit in with my family, I was so different. I had trouble as a kid in school. I have 6 kids, 2 have ADHD and I never thought I had it. I thought, I don't bounce off the walls like my boys do. Well, no, because my ADHD is different than theirs. A few months after I got diagnosed, I started college. I am taking a lot of psychology classes and learning about ADHD. For the first time in my life my brain makes sense to me. I am learning why I am the way I am. Sometimes I want to sit and cry because I know I am not crazy. I'm just neurodivergent. If you have not already, I encourage you to get a diagnosis. My doctor and I are working on finding meds and dosage that work for me.
Ditto
My lifelong bestie once suggested I should see a therapist. I 100% agreed (You mean sobbing hysterically in the middle of the woods in front of the sign for a scout camp that’s been defunct for 17 years could be a sign of very much not being okay? Shocking! 🥴), but at the same time realized that someone I hadn’t had as long and strong of a connection to couldn’t have “gotten away” with the suggestion, because it FELT like “Hush up, I’m not interested in hearing about this.”. It is pretty much impossible to start poking around at sensitive places inside ourselves without getting strong emotional responses! 😱
I’m literally sobbing. I’ve never felt more seen. Thank you.
I joked for years and years about “I must have ADHD” and then, after 15 years of being on depression and anxiety meds that didn’t ever seem to help....it suddenly occurred to me that I might REALLY have ADHD. Got tested at age 45 and sure enough.... I can’t believe how long I dealt with this and none of my therapists or psychiatrists noticed!
Out of absolute curiosity, how do they "test" you? Please and thank you
@@tjbrat44 It was about 5 hours. There were computer tests that timed my response times and attention to detail and I also had to fill out a really long questionnaire about my “symptoms” as did my husband and then I was interviewed as well. It was pretty thorough.
I swear we have no qualms about passing years. You talk about 15 years like it's nothing.
I just got diagnosed at 33. and it was only after advocating for myself with my therapist. Have depression, and anxiety too. feels good to finally be properly diagnosed!!
@@N0Xa880iUL it's weird seeing people talk like this when you're 16 and 15 years was your whole life..
I hate how our ADHD becomes a problem when it's bothersome to other people. It's like ''so you're assuming i am okay with forgetting things that happened 3 seconds ago, that i am okay with clutter and mess i am making, that i am unable to force myself to do important tasks that i think about for entire week?''
This makes me think that I might have it as well.
Especially when I was doing my thesis, I'd think about it constantly but can't make myself to do it.
I managed to finish it by having my father constantly reminding me to do it and forcing myself by calling my supervisor for a meeting before I actually do it (normally you're supposed to finish it before asking for the meeting).
THIS!!!
Hi stranger just wanted to say that God loves u so much that He sent His only Son that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life(つ≧▽≦)つ 🧡
Hi stranger just wanted to say that God loves u so much that He sent His only Son that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life(つ≧▽≦)つ 🧡
Hi stranger just wanted to say that God loves u so much that He sent His only Son that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life(つ≧▽≦)つ 🧡
"Our struggles being invisible to others doesn't mean they're imaginary" :')
I was diagnosed with ADHD since my teenage, spent my whole life fighting ADHD. Also suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Not until my husband recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. This is something that really need to be use globally to help people with related health challenges.
Congrats on your recovery. Most persons never realizes psilocybin can be used as a miracle medication to save lives. Years back i wrote an entire essay about psychedelics. they saved you from death bud, lets be honest here.
Can you help me with the reliable source 🙏. I'm 56 and have suffered for years with addiction, anxiety and severe ptsd, I got my panic attacks under control myself years ago and they have come back with a vengeance, I'm constantly trying to take full breaths but can't get the full satisfying breath out, it's absolutely crippling me, i live in Germany. I don't know much about these mushrooms. Really need a reliable source!! Can't wait to get them.
Hey! Yes Dr.alishrooms
Mushrooms helped my son get off opioid. Indeed nature's little miracles
How do i reach out to him? Is he on Insta
I straight up started crying at "nobody should have to go through life blaming themselves for how their brain works"
Yeah same rn
Same
I basically cried the entire video lol 😂👏🏻
I thought I was the only one crying, I feel emotional now because there are people who understand
SAME! I cried through almost this whole video. But, it was a relieved cry. Lol.
Wait people complain you talk too fast? I watched this on 2x… 😅
Ikr basically every video I watch on 2x
Even though it’s bad for the algorithm
Edit: for the people wondering y it’s bad for the algorithm, ua-cam.com/video/hcbnWxS8XEQ/v-deo.html
@@YeetMaster-mw9zj really? May I know how does it effect? Cuz I always listen at x2 too 😅
@@nadiahDono If you watch a 10 minute video on x2, UA-cam will record that in the "watch time" stat for the video as 5 minutes, as that is how long you took to watch the video. If you watch the same 10 minute video in x0.5 it would record the Watch time for that video as 20 minutes.
The higher the watch time, the better (for the creator), as it (most likely) affects things like putting the video on the main page, recommended, and ad stuff*.
*I don't know what of this is true and what is guessed, but I do know that the higher the "watched time" stat on a video, the better it is for the creator.
She was a reason l decided to improve my English listening "and improve my English generally" because I want to knowing about ADHD and the content of her channel is really great and she had a beautiful way to explain things and such a pretty soul and eyes, after about 2 or 3 months from first time I watched her videos now l can almost understand more than 70% without subtitles! , I'm a native Arabic speaker, and l hope l wrote this comment without many mistakes 😂😅
I watch everything else in 2x 😅 she talks JUST fast enough lol
I am 71 and I just got dx with ADHD even though I have had psychiatric treatment since age 25! I'm just beginning to learn about this disorder. Thank you for this information!
I'm so sorry it took so long but so glad you finally know and can learn about it! I'm 42 and recently diagnosed, and the last two decades have been... we don't have time for that but it's been an uphill battle to say the least ans I fell ALOT... I wish I'd known sooner but glad ik now ans realize I have time to turn my life around and do things differently ❤
I am 50 years old and I’m a grandma. I have my first ADHD evaluation appointment next week. This video had me in tears. I can very much relate.
Pregnancy ADHD brain is no joke. I left the bathroom tap on and spent the whole day wondering "is someone watering outside?"
I'm ADHD, done the same and I'm far from pregnant :) Or am I? XD
Did you flood the upstairs bathroom and have water drip down through the living room chandelier?
I did that. Twice.
I have flooded the house so many times 😭
When I was pregnant with ADHD, its like pregnancy brain 10X, I forgot everything and was blamed as stupid and lazy. I understand the problem.
I feel this!! When I was pregnant my work performance dipped significantly and none of my bosses could understand why. The combo of hormones, physical discomfort and going through a huge life change threw any progress I'd made right out the window. After my son was born I felt like I came out of a fog that I didn't even know I'd been in.
YES. I’ve always been called lazy, purposely forgetful, too sensitive, unmotivated, and that I ignore people because I easily zone out and daydream. Thank you for your kind words, I’m proud to be a brain in your tribe. 😊
You and I are literally the same
THISSS
Same this makes me feel so much better
You sound like I wrote the above.
I was the same. But on screening tests I did excellent because I could focus for Anna hour minutes in new environment and I wanted to prove I'm allright.
Funny thing I couldn't finish my test so I guessed answers at the end,without reading questions. I wonder if they could spot it. I was always great with guessing test answers 🤣
I went to the doctor today to get checked out for Inattentive ADHD. I hid it from my parents, because I knew they would say "Well, you didn't struggle with such and such..." I was right. That was the first thing out of my Mom's mouth. I really relate to this so much. I didn't have bad grades in school and I wasn't hyperactive externally. I was the "good" kid, but I've struggled since childhood internally. Your videos were the reason I started suspecting my ADHD, because everything lined up perfectly and this lightbulb moment happened. So, thank you for that.
In the end, I'm so proud of myself for even starting this journey toward answers. My doctor and I are working together to find the answers I've always needed. I know my body the best because I live in this body and I will continue to advocate for myself even if no one else understands.
That’s it, you go… girl? I shall take the risk of assuming gender! ✊
Adhd is not talked about much in my culture. I tried to learn about adhd recently just because and how surprised I was to find the symptoms very relatable to me; especially when the symptoms worsened during pandemic and gives me high anxiety problems. I once talked to my parents, my friends. One friend is very understanding, but my parents doesn't really think much of it. One of my friends even dismiss my concerns because "it's not that easy to diagnose adhd". I feel so disappointed and frustrated. I just don't know what to do when people who are supposed to support me dismiss my worries when I feel it to my core that my life is worsening because of these symptoms. I l doubt my own concerns because of that even if I clearly was struggling through something that would be really bad to my mental health. I just want to be someone I would be proud of. 🙁
You are valuable because you are a person; more than that, a person who wants to do right in the world. I’m glad you found a supportive friend; hopefully, you have found more support and peace since you wrote this comment! ❤️
@@misspatvandriverlady7555 Thank you so much for your kind support! :) My anxiety problem has gotten better just recently. I still don't know if I truly have adhd or not (still got that problem ig), but at least I feel more like myself now---not as high-strung and as afraid of everything as before. One step at a time. Anyway, I hope you are well too! Don't forget that you are valuable as well. The fact that you take your time to read my rambling and typed a kind reply is very valuable to me! :)
many people in canada too still think it's from bad parenting or you just being lazy. It is heartbreaking. Dr. Russell Barkley says we need to work on getting a "thicker skin" because people will always be criticizing us...because they are IGNORANT
"a lot of women with adhd get misdiagnosed with depression" THATS EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED TO ME THEY REFUSED TO LOOK INTO MY ADHD AND JUST CLAIMED IT WAS DEPRESSION.....
LACUS?!?!?
SAME FR
I recently went to a doctor because I felt that I was in a really bad and dark place mentally and finally decided to get help. I poured my heart out and told her about everything that was going on inside my head. She then said it simply sounds like my depression getting worse and changed my meds. I'm now going to make an appointment with another doc and ask them specifically for an ADHD assessment
The same thing happened to me, as a man, and it's wasted so many damn years of my life. I felt gaslit for it because there are doctors out there who are either ignorant or judgemental.
my psychologist told me I was just bored and I don't know how to try and explain that I can literally barely function day to day
I don't have ADHD, but my wife does.
I'm learning so much from these videos to help her and be more understanding. I had no idea. . .
Love the fact that you are doing that for her. Thank you
That's an incredible gesture, I'm glad you're making such an effort to know how to support her
I wish my boyfriend would do that for me. He might when I actually bring home a prescription but I’m sure your wife feels very deeply cared for because you are doing this!
💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖
This channel has been so amazing helping me understand my step daughter's adhd too. I am not used to handling someone with it so I found this channel too to better understand it. I am right there with you! There's a lot I didn't know as well.
God, this video had me in tears. I relate so strongly to everything you said. I blamed myself for how my brain works my whole life and always thought the internal struggle was normal. I am so frustrated that no one in my life noticed how much I was struggling growing up. I too was the quiet, "smart", "good" girl. Then middle school happened and I started failing everything because I just couldn't keep up the mask anymore. Life has been such a huge battle. Knowing it didn't have to be this way... hurts.
On a more positive note, I just turned 30 and I'm finally going to see a psychologist to get proper testing in just a couple weeks. Thank you so much for this content, this was extremely validating.
This is why I’m really glad that my psychiatrist is a woman with adhd, so I know that I’m actually getting the right meds, from somebody who’s been through similar things I have.
My parents are the ones who used “lazy” against me the most. It always hurt because I felt like I was so tired and busy in my brain all the time. I’m really lucky that the first specialist I went to in college recognized the adhd right away, and didn’t just try to tell me to lose weight like my mom wanted. Unfortunately I now live in a country that does not allow stimulant meds at all, so my current doctor is limited in what he can give me.
I get it . I'm consider lazy because of my parents and sister agree with them.
I didn’t get diagnosed with adhd till last year , and i thought it was embarrassing and something was wrong with me when i was diagnosed with it
@@ari0312 right I'm so reluctant to get a diagnosis because I feel it would be embarrassing to have it
@@untitled-8538 i don’t feel embarrassed about it now it took me time to process it but the more you get help on it the better you’ll feel
A few of my internship preceptors viewed me as lazy and unintelligent. The demands of the internship were more than I could handle with my regular coping mechanisms from my earlier in my life up to that point. I almost quit because I felt so worthless and people couldn't see how hard I was trying and I wasn't performing as well as I should have. Getting diagnosed explained a lot.
I just got diagnosed with inattentive ADHD a few months ago and I'm 30. I didn't realize how much I was masking my symptoms. I now take a stimulant, but I also talk about how I can use tools for my ADHD with my therapist and psychologist. This video is amazing, thank you for this :)
Because of your channel I’ve discovered I’m ADHD! Thank you! Been called lazy, flaky, flighty, unmotivated etc… my entire life! Somehow I knew I was still awesome, so just went through life enjoying my “crazy brain”! 55 years old in Sept. keep up the great work! My husband of 32 years , thanks you too!
Same I’m 14 I haven’t been diagnosed but I’m 80% sure I have ADHD
I was called dumb and lazy my whole life...2 months after graduating with my masters degree...I received my ADHD diagnosis. I have so many feelings about this. I did not have to struggle.
You're not alone. So many of us had to struggle for far too long when the struggle wasn't needed indeed. I hope you are doing well out there
I'm proud of you!
"I did not have to struggle."
That hit deep. 😢💔
ADHD is when you start going through the comment Section then going back up to the Video Recommendations while going through your phone then back to the main video to Play back 30 Seconds of what you just missed.
Please don't call me out like that.
Literally every time 😐
Exactly this! I've been trying so hard to stop going into the comments half way through videos, because often they'll spoil stuff about the video and I don't want that, but I can't just *sit* there and watch! Gotta shift the attention around! Only way I can watch a video straight through is if I've got another window open with a low-intensity game or puzzle or something, and even then I may also need a fidget or to be eating or something
….goddammit 😂
Everybody feelin called out rn🤣
The fact that you almost teared up while talking about this..i really resonate with that..I was so much happier as a little girl even with the symptoms but over the years my self confidence, self esteem and general enthusiasm have gone to the ground and it's so emotionally taxing to go through a regular day..I don't care about anything anymore when I should care the most in my late 20s, the society expects a lot from me at this point but who would understand that I just don't experience joy the way they do..
Just need to say I've lost track of how many times I've shared this video, and how many lives had been changed for the better. Thank you Jessica. ❤
It always feels like the only time ADHD is ever acknowledged was to point out deficiencies. So it no surprise we learn to mask symptoms and use more neurotypical excuses.
Thank you for sharing, I'm slowly trying to shed my imposter syndrome, videos like this really help.
I feel you on this. Your introspection is powerful and spot on.
THIS! I think this is the main reason it took me so long to get diagnosed.
This is the scurge of being an adhd female in a society like ours.
Like - I didn't go to class because I wasn't feeling well vs My alarm on my phone didn't go off because my phone died because I forgot to charge it and for some reason both the charger AND the alarm clock were unplugged from the wall (probably because I needed another outlet for that blender experiment) and then I couldn't find my car keys.
Yeah I've been speaking with more formal words like ones that would be used in old history (mostly because I like historic books and dress and I say the words they use correctly of course) then when I tell people that I have ADHD they're like "Oh my god I would never guess!! You speak so elegantly! And you sound so smart!"
It's funny sometimes, other times it's annoying lol
I wish my professors had a double-tap-to-go-back-10-seconds-because-I-didn't-process-what-you-said feature. I relate to the person in this video so much.
Girl yes.
+
Right? During the pandemic some of my professors started making Videos for us students to watch before class and the students sometimes uploaded their presentations with voice overs beforehand so you could watch them whenever you liked and - the best part - go back and repeat everything as often as you want and need it.
Especially since we get labeled as "problematic" because we literally forgot. I need this feature with everyone in life. For real. And a universal volume button for the noise of the world.
This happened with my enrichment teacher, I missed something I was supposedly supposed to notice and she just told us that well if we won't answer the question that she'll just give us a bad grade and when our parents ask about it she'll tell them it's because we were a bad or lazy student or something like that. It's worse because we didn't even get much information about the apparent task and I ended up failing to compute the only information we were given to understand... It's really stressing.
"No one should have to go through life blaming themselves for how their brain works" this really struck a chord.
I can hear the emotion in your voice when you talk about your struggle and I empathize and relate. Thank you for this content, it helps inform those who don’t know and comfort those who do.
I've been suspecting I might have ADHD for a few years now and I'm so adverse to getting checked because I've heard so many stories of women being misdiagnosed or not taken seriously
I believe I have adhd as well.
My mom won’t believe me but it makes so much sense!
But I’m afraid I’m going to misdiagnosed
I had a seizure disorder when I was younger and my doctor just said oh she’s just being rebellious. It’s just bad behavior….
But two years later it got so bad that they lasted for 8 hours 5 times a week!
They were called absence seizure disorder which no one can see them happening but one thing to notice is that they can’t hear anything when there in an episode.
My teachers were so confused on why I was so spacey….
@Kenzalishus ADHD and autism often occur together although they dont have to. Do you think you were totally misdiagnosed or they missed ADHD? It's tricky because they share many traits as well. If you can definitely get checked for ADHD. You can always get a second opinion if it's accessible
same and now I don't even know where I would go to get diagnosed
@Kenzalishus No need to apologize and thank you for sharing that with me. Best of luck on your diagnosis journey.
Same as a poc women, so many stereotypes, stigmas, culture blocks and opinions/discriminations against black people, culture AND women is so discouraging that im not even gonna try. I dont wanna be misdiagnosed or invalidated harshly.
Late diagnosed (mid 40s) ADHD combo type. Now i know the real reason for ALL of my life struggles since childhood. 😢
I have self diagnosed myself with ADHD or ADD for a while now because my parents don't believe in ADHD, so this video had me crying because I resonate with it so well. I always seem to fail in things that other people can do with ease and I always think it's something that is wrong w me. So this video really helped me, knowing I am not the only one.
"Most research on ADHD has been done in males and the DSM criteria for ADHD doesn't fit the way females tend to present as well as it does for males."
This is actually a big problem with medicine in general. The "standard patient" that a lot of medical learning uses is a middle aged male.
That's the whole medical community. It'll take awhile to actually catch up.
That is a very similar problem for autism as well
I'm curious why this is the case, I'm guessing less women want to volunteer?
@@ME-xh5zq it comes from the assumption that women are just men with more hormones, an unfortunate and incorrect idea that riddles the medical community! essentially using men as a baseline and judging women in that light. it completely disregards women's different symptoms and often leads to misdiagnosis. i am bad at explaining things sorry lol but i hope this made sense!!
And white
"If you're struggling, there's a reason you're struggling....Your struggles aren't imaginary." I honestly broke out in tears at this. I didn't realize how much I needed to realize that my inability to live up to my perfection standards was medical, rather than some objective shortcoming of *myself*.
Thank you for this. I learned a lot, I feel so understood and supported and better equipped AND encouraged to move forward.
I feel the same. Im balling rn too! 😭
I know that feeling. It to takes such a huge toll on yourself. At least it does me. Ill sit there and compare myself to others and ear myself apart because im not doing the work load I think I should be doing in x amount of time.
This exactly. I had a tissue to my face while reading your comment. It's such a relief to know that we're not alone.
Yep. This video definitely brought me to tears!
I was miss diagnosed as a teenager. They told my mom and I that I didn’t have it and that was that. At almost 28 years old, I’ve just been diagnosed. I’ve suspected I had it since I was in high school. It feels so great to finally have a diagnosis. To be heard and not feel crazy. Now I can get the treatment I need. 😭 thank you for your channel. I’m finding it incredibly relatable and helpful as I navigate this diagnosis.
I’m 41 I’m just now talking to a psychotherapist about me getting tested for ADHD… I was overlooked as a child because I did not have a learning disability or behavioral problems but everything else as far as being inattentive forgetting everything being disorganized, anxiety and very sensitive to stress resonates…thank you for posting
My trick is at the beginning of the year instead of going “hey I have adhd” to my teachers I just give them a list of the symptoms and say hey this is what I struggle with instead of saying “hey I have adhd” I found it helps a lot more since most people don’t take ADHD seriously but if you tell them “OK I struggle with this this and this” they’re more likely to take that seriously
GENIUS!
This is super smart. I think a lot of the time, when we introduce a condition with the label attached to it, that leads the entire conversation down the path of assuming that both people have the same understanding of the condition. Instead, introducing the symptoms might get across clearer what the ADHD actually means for you for the person listening.
I email my professors before my first class with them what they will notice and why it is that way, and attach the list of accommodations that my college psychologist approved which gives specific, measurable actions for my professors to take. I also reassure them that I am there because I really want to be, and that I use these methods so that I can really understand the course material and perform well, as well as to listen better. For example, I explain that writing notes makes me think too hard about writing notes that I can't pay attention to what they are saying. So, receiving their powerpoints as notes means that I can review the material later just like written notes, but I will be able to really process what they're saying more often during their lecture. Writing English and listening to English at the same time means that I'm not processing either very effectively.
brilliant
this is a great idea. unfortunately sometimes if I've told people I have ADHD they make a lot of assumptions about me, I've even had people I don't know very well make rude comments about having to take stimulants to manage. there's still so much stigma around it. it's much easier to describe to people the issues and symptoms I struggle with.
“No one should have to go through life blaming themselves for how their brain works…”
Wow… I needed to hear that
Same
Lol i third this "Same"
Been questioning why my brain cant function like others. 🥲
You do not know me, but from the bottom of my heart, thank you for this. I really needed this. It just hurts so much to struggle without recognition by others, even dismissal. I an sorry for what you (and everyone here telling their stories) went through. It really helps to know others are going/have been through similar things ❤
I cried when I watched this video, this is me and no one ever noticed and I went through almost all the same things. I only found out once my daughter was diagnosed that I too had the same symptoms as her and now will be able to get the help I need. Thank you so much for making these videos, you are helping so many of us.
The one thing that hurts me the most is when someone I love and trust responds to me explaining my struggle with "Yeah... but everyone does that sometimes." This is like telling a person who is severely depressed and can't get out of bed that "Everyone is sad sometimes." Thank you... not helpful, and now I am gaslighting myself into thinking I'm "faking."
Yeah, or when they think you just don't try hard enough. 😭 I hope you can get proper help and support.❤️
I used to get called 'overly sensitive' a lot as a kid and was told to basically 'harden up' and not let these things get to me. I used to have a pretty bad temper and would get frustrated and angry then lash out. I was told to get it under control. It was hard but i eneded up just internalising everything and putting on a happy face or at least an unproblumatic face to the world and learned to fly under the radar. Those behaviours, with out question, had a negative affect on my mental health for years and years. I'm 40 and just starting to understand whats going on inside my head and undo the decades of conditioning.
That's exactly what I do... I take a lot of things personally, and I got into an argument with my dad about it: He told me just to stop letting them be personal. It's not like I chose it, but half the time I never feel like I can talk to him about the way I feel, so I don't. Oldest of four, I put on a happy face and never let anyone, especially my younger siblings, see that I'm struggling. I end up talking about my issues to random people I meet on the internet because that's easier than talking to my parents
Oh… oh my god.. i was told consistently throughout my childhood from my parents, teachers, fellow students, etc that i was too sensitive, just not trying hard enough, and not paying enough attention. I would try so hard not to react or get “sensitive” but a seven year old girl can’t do that. I developed GAD, and currently have it really bad, as i have for years, and I’m only 16. I was just, just now, diagnosed. My mom ignored that anything could be wrong for years and years. Not a single adult, except for my therapist (after 4 years) even thought, maybe she has adhd. I have numerous diary entries, notes on my phone, texts, letters etc. to myself, just asking why i’m like this. It was slow but when i was diagnosed i wanted to burst into tears. I’m sorry that that happened to you, and i hope that that doesn’t happen to more people
I’m so proud of you for getting help, it takes a lot of strength and discipline. I’m trying to figure out what’s going on inside my mind as well.
Same, and as an adult. I'm too sensitive, take things too personally and always assume it's because I've done something to upset someone. I have always felt like I have this try too hard thing going on especially in social situations where I feel awkward and then I feel devastated when people don't engage with me and I think "but I tried so hard to be cool and fun" and then feel like something is wrong with me and resort to defensiveness. I also really struggle with group conversations and so people think I'm bored or not interested or like I am flakey because I just go around the room trying to understand what everyone is talking about but then end up just by myself in the corner.
To this day my Mother keeps telling me to “Harden up because that’s how life works and I should stop crying “ my answer to that has always been lying to her because I don’t know what else to say.
49 here and trying to get an ADHD diagnosis. I know I have ADHD. I can check off waaaaaay too many of the boxes. My daughter had to convince me to check it out and before I was done watching my first video on the topic I was like "This explains so much!" There were so many things that, when mentioned on videos about ADHD, I was like "Wait... that isn't normal?!!"
Today I realized I need to change my therapist.
She tried to tell me she doesn't think I'm as disabled as I say I am (Said I don't act disabled), then told me I was being dramatic when I lost the battle to not cry when she told me that.
She said I need to look at how I handle things and just do them differently. And I told her I've been trying to do that for decades.
Then she tried to say I'm blaming others for my troubles when I literally said, over and over, again that I know a lot of it is me.
This was such a powerful video, especially as you were going through the labels, I was often called a daydreamer and weird, clumsy, forgetful. Also discovered how hard it is to be believed when I say I have ADHD compared to those that I know which have the more HYPER part presentation. I tend to interrupt people in a conversation, speak really fast and jump through 20 topics then come back to the original one all while doing like 50 things at the same time.
Also realized that closed captions/ subtitles help me focus more on things.
"Our struggles might be invisible to others, but it doesn't mean they're imaginary."
Thank you, i really needed to hear that. I feel like I'm loosing my mind.
This makes so much sense! My ADHD coach has a lot of experience with “talented” kids with ADHD and often our symptoms manifest later when the demands of life finally outweigh our coping mechanisms. And on top of our pedestals we crash. HARD.
Oh yes :( for me it was having a child. Everything collapsed as I was no longer able to hold that pressure. It was either keeping my child alive and healthy or having a job. I got nightmares about cooking my child in the oven by mistake etc. 5 yrs later starting to get used to that.
Wow. This is exactly how I felt after graduating
I was that talented kid, who aced in school and was even valedictorian in high school. Now, in university, I struggle day to day to even read for my exercises, who waits until day before my exam when it's too late to study just because I just can't do it, it's always late even for my exams and I don't to say how many friends are now distant because of that talking before thinking
Is this a personal attack or what 😅
I crashed hard after graduating high school. Have been sick and house bound for about 4 years now
I just burst into tears watching this. Thank you. You’re a brave, beautiful, inclusive, intelligent and articulate gem. I was finally diagnosed in my 40’s but as you say, often the damage is done early to our sense of being and self esteem.
What I love so much is that you shine the light on the simple fact that this is actually a diagnosis related to brain function that is not our fault & the exhaustion & overwhelm I have faced through my life trying to hide it is really taking it’s toll.
Thank you for your candour ❤
When I first went to my local GP about this. They told me and my parents that there was a ‘trend’ of teenage girls thinking they had ADHD and going to get tested. It turns out I did have ADHD but I’ve always felt like I shouldn’t be there or shouldn’t be getting help due to how little anyone takes you seriously.
I can definitely relate to the “good student” part and how toxic it can be. Many of the problems I have had with my mental health can be attributed to spending time in “gifted and talented” groups full of girls who were nothing like me and resenting myself for it. I love learning for myself but hate how education encourages vicious competition and labelling of children before they have even had time to learn who they are. Being put in these scenarios didn’t make me any smarter but helped me to learn how to hate my body as well as my brain leading to disordered eating and constant unending shame, which was such a common thing for people around me even without ADHD which makes you wonder if anyone really benefits.
I feel this deeply. I was always in the TAG groups and had decent grades so my inattentiveness was just laziness and not living up to my potential.
I’m pretty sure most people in G&T programs are now just adult basket cases, I say speaking as both a former G&T kid and a current basket case.
I'm pretty sure I ahve something ATLEAST similar to this, because I really want to tell ym parents but they aren't the most patient listeners. For example, whenever I try to stay calm and talk clearly I either get stressed because my parents are telling me to "get to the point" but that just makes it harder. or I get overwhelmed by the build up emotions making me feel weak and embarraassed and I tried telling them what is bothering me but when I did I had emotions just overwhelming me and they just sat there talking and talking lecturing me I think? (I couldn't focus and felt like I was lost and not in control of my own body and I was screaming for help) but they didn't help, especially my dad just didn't do anything. It was my step-mom (whom I know for a long time, been more of a mother to me than my real one) finally hugged me and tried to calm me down while I was just half there half crying and it was just awful really. Yeah that was a total failure. A few days later after the whole thing I tried to talk to them about how I think they were too impatient with me and was asking for them to PLEASE just listen but my dad got angry (even more, since I skipped school that day because I felt so emotionally exhausted it felt like my body was made out of rusty old metal) demanding a answer as to why I thought it would be a good idea to stay at home because I was "tired". After explaining that I just wasn't feeling very "energetic" he passed it off due to me not getting enough sleep because I am sitting at the PC until 2 AM (I do not do that, max is Midnight but even then I don't stay up this late ya know?) A very stressful dinner later I had annoyed parents who turned off my internet access and an even more unstable mindset. Just great. I am out of ideas, I know writing this long comment won't change things but after seeing the video and this comment I just had the urge write my own situation. I apologize for this though, nobody likes to read long comments where someone is venting about their depressed life
I relate as a former gifted program kid & I didn't get diagnosed with ADHD until I was 30. I can't take stimulant meds because of other other conditions, but I am relieved to at least being diagnosed & having that answer. I still struggle with my ADHD and my regrets.
..
This hurt my heart. Growing up, I was always the "day-dreamer" who constantly forgot her homework at school but somehow still managed to get As and Bs. My cousin had been diagnosed with ADHD because of his hyperactivity, and I approached her a handful of times to say I think I have it, but she would say I didn't because I wasn't like my cousin. For YEARS I would just work harder and harder to maintain my grades, pretending I was fine even though I knew I wasn't. It wasn't until I was 26 that I went to a doctor about my depression and she asked if I had been diagnosed with ADHD. I took a test, and in that moment my entire life changed. Just knowing that it's my ADHD and not a personal failing has made me feel better, and helped me to create my own toolbox for addressing some of my worst symptoms.
That bit about homework is so relatable. I often pass my homeworks last minute, maybe even minutes before deadline, but I still got As and got told I was "naturally smart" by my peers, even when i felt like I wasnt trying as hard as them.
What test did they do on you? They would only give me this 5 minute at-home computer test where you click at the right times....
i resonate so much, theres a sterotype with adhd that u have to be hyperactive, so i never knew that i might have it, i was always daydreaming, zoned out, in my own world, in class id fall asleep always, even if i was trying so so hard to concentrate, and id do my homeworks last minute even now in university i do my courseworks so late my dissertation draft is due in about 10 days and i havent even started, i get overstimulated at the thought of the workload, that i out it off till the last possible second, i manage to get by most the time but in sixth form (british college equivalent to the last two years in high school for americans) those were the worst years of my life bc i couldnt just get by with how i was, i was doing very badly, but by the end i just scraped it, i wouldnt have gotten into university with my grades if my uni didnt change my offer, and then in uni i was doing alright first year, then second year i struggled but kind of managed, and third year i have lowkey brought myself back up to managing but again im leaving this dissertation too late and its been overwhelming me for a long time, i really need to get my diagnosis bc i did a self referral checklist from a specialist(?) and i literally marked often or always on MOST of the boxes, i am so sure i have undiagnosed ADHD
i just wrote a whole essay under ur comment 😭 this goes to prove how i have adhd like i cant keep any comment or anything i say short i feel the need to explain every little thing, im tired of being how i am for real 🥲
OMG THIS IS LITERALLY ME
i can't even focus on this video lol
"I even went off my meds completely for a while because someone I trusted told me I didn't need them."
I started crying at these words, because it's my story too. The only person I expected to at least understand that proper treatments would take me out of this mess, told me I didn't need meds. The words still sting.
“No one should have to go through life blaming themselves for how their brain works.” Literally felt that in my soul.
same! and i have the same last name as you guys! must be a Kruger thing lol
Toughen up mate.
I know right ... I even cried.
Had to go back and hear it twice.
Same here 🥺
As a self-diagnosed 19 year old black woman, I've been mocked ever since I can remember for being an over-the-top, emotionally sensitive blabbermouth, disorganised, forgetful and stubborn.
Yet on the flip side, I've also been described as a brilliant, competent student with loads of talent and drive. I eventually grew more and more closed off as a consequence of those remarks, garnering even more criticism.
Watching your video, I saw my entire life laid out with such poignant, devastating accuracy. Both internal and external struggles, how and why they're so tightly intertwined, environmental factors from my childhood and their consequences, fluctuating coping mechanisms that can only last so long before another breakdown or burnout.
You've greatly explained and illustrated some devastating vicious cycles that women with ADHD have been fighting to overcome their entire lives- oftentimes unseen, having built walls around themselves as a shield against more potentially triggering happenings/interactions with others.
You're doing an incredible job with this channel; spreading awareness, changing lives and perspectives. Much love from Gabon 🇬🇦☺️✨
Amén!!!!!!! 💗💗💗💗💗
Do you also feel that you are child mentally, compared to your peers? I feel that a lot.
Wait r u me, what you just wrote most of it is literally what I went through too, we are so similar it is comforting
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
@@N0Xa880iUL I do, my emotional intelligence at times is like a kid.
Jessica. This is one of the most amazing videos you’ve made. I’ve been coaching a woman in Egypt, which sadly, has a worse medical system than ours in the US, and I’m always so blown away at how succinct your videos can be. Sharing all the places. Thank you so much!
My heart hurts so much. I wish I hadn’t had to go through my whole life not getting the help I needed. Thank you for making these videos
I am currently working on my PHD in ADHD with females. Thank you for the video. It almost mirrors my research!
Thank you for studying this. I pray I get someone like you to diagnose me already. 32 and I want to just be told, you’re not nuts.
Please see my post. 😆
Thank you for your work
55 here. Miserable. Post menopauseal and my brain is broken.
What kind of doctor should we go to if we suspect we have ADHD?
The still learning to make friends bit really resonated.
Or keeping them in my case 😅
Yep no one gets me
I hear you.. communication problems.. ay yi yi ! And planning communication can lead to a lot of rumination with it's set of problems. It is a balance.. and i am tired.
Friends? Yeah, I probably really have two or three only.
It's not fair how we struggle more than average, when we people please so much and rejection hurts so much more
Thank you for being so brave and be here so other women with ADHD will face their struggles!♡
i am sobbing watching this. i have never seen absolutely EVERYTHING i feel in physical form, right in front of me. thank you for making me feel seen.
Woman, woman, woman! What have you published here?? This is beyond a piece on ADHD, this is a letter to society and I'm so into it! thank you so much!!
Amen!
Another example of how society tries to help us when we bother them, but if symptoms aren't bothersome to others, then they aren't taken as seriously as they should...
And even then, the “help” so often consists of eye rolling while offering table scraps of decency along with passive-aggressive comments about what a burden we are.
This video almost brought me to tears. I just found this video about 5min ago and nothing has ever resonated with me on such a personal level. Thank you.
My fourteen-year-old was lucky enough to get her ADHD diagnosis at about the same age as you did Jessica, and actually turned me on to your channel here. And she just received an ASD diagnosis this last week, so we are thankful for your work here.
i’m shocked because i always though adhd was just jumping from one thought to another, which i do at times, but this video explained how i feel perfectly. i thought everyone felt like this, yet i’ve always struggled more than others to do simple tasks. it feels impossible for me to do school work unless i’m under a lot of pressure. i can’t keep friendships because i always forget to check up on people and then they think that i don’t care about them, which then makes me feel like a horrible person. it just feels like my mind is so crowded 24/7 and i can’t focus on anything unless im genuinely interested in something or i’m under a LOT of pressure.
No cuz this is exactly how I feel
Oh I relate to this, but I’m not sure if I have ADHD or not, I’m finding it really hard to tell if I struggle more than other people do. Maybe I’m over analysing/dramatising myself, and it’s very expensive (in the uk) to get tested. It’s crazy you have to self diagnose just to get diagnosed bc I’m confused 🤷🏽♀️
Currently still trying to get started with learning for a big Test we will write tomorrow 😀👍
This is so perfect to how I feel
Same girl 0 friends over here. We can change this . But it feels draining to even think about or even try to do.
That last line “no one should have to go through life blaming themselves for how their brain works” I burst into tears, I didn’t realize how bad that impacted me... thank you for helping me feel understood ♥️
Same
Yes!
me too xx
Same
hey, you're going to be just fine. Love you
I was just diagnosed with adhd at 38. I found this video shortly after my diagnosis and it’s my go-to for sharing with people when I talk about adhd now. Thank you for your channel!!!
I remember I got a school report when I was 7 yrs old saying I’m easily distracted. Now 35 🥹 and never been diagnosed. My heart breaks for myself that I wasn’t diagnosed when I was younger 🥺 I’ve been struggling with myself for 20+ years. Thank you for this 🙏🏽
I can't imagine ever not calling myself messy, lazy, forgetful, etc. Despite learning more about my brain as an adult it just seems objectively true to me and those around me.
That is so sad. I hope you keep trying, it's worth the effort to be kind to yourself 💜🖤💜🖤
They're not true in the slightest. These are lies that you were told so often you internalized them. Keep doing the work to move past that harmful programming 🤍🤍 you're on the right track!
I feel that's the worst part. Specially before my diagnosis. Telling yourself it's ok, you're putting your best to this task, you know you're smart, etc. And then it goes wrong. And again.
How are you supposed to construct self love around "being irresponsible"? How are you supposed to feel confident in your abilities if you mess basic math up frequently? (for example)
This "objective truths" thing sucks. Trying to have self esteem feels like trying to deny the reality.
Luckily after my diagnosis I am more aware of how intentions matter to the word "irresponsible".
And that "I have ADHD" or "I'm doing everything I can" are facts as much as "I lost my coat for the 4th time this year". It helps.
No matter how hard I try, I can’t get away from those labels and her saying evErything I’ve felt for so long was so validating. It’s weirdly comforting to know I’m not the only one here
When I finally went to a professional to see if i had autism my diagnosis was ADHD and I cried. Not because I wanted to be autistic, but because my symptoms were ruining every aspect of my life and I didn't think it could 'just be ADHD'. I thought I had to be autistic if I had that many social problems but the more I'm researching the more i realize that our society thinks that ADHD is just a label you slap on a misbehaving boy in elementary school. When i was upset about having ADHD it was because I thought my family and friends wouldn't see it as a valid reason for being rude on accident. We need to break that stigma and remind people that ADHD isn't a minor inconvenience but an actual mental condition that can be very difficult to cope with.
I totally get what you mean! I thought for a while that I had both because I struggle so much in social situations (understanding jokes, tone changes, etc). I was surprised after researching both disorders pretty thoroughly that there's more overlap than people realize bc those symptoms don't get recognition.
I love your comment. I belive to have both, but havent found someone edcuated enough to get an objektiv view on it. I dont struggle with Tone etc. But I have extrem sensory overload which I belive to be autism. The people I know with adhd dont seem to have this issue m the just get overstimulated, their brain is in overdrive so to speak. So is myn in those situations, but I also have big issues with sounds etc. I dotn see autism as a disorder tho, i see it as a neurodiverse brain. Adhd seem a little diffrent that way to me.
ADHD and autism share a lot of common traits so it's possibly to be both autistic and adhd. I'm not suggesting that's the case with you or that anyone who's ADHD is automatically also autistic, I'm just saying there's a possiblity to be both. And just a little FYI, don't use words like "have" or "had" when talking about ADHD and autism as it comes across like an illness, much better to write "to see if I'm autistic". I'm sure you meant well but as an adhd & autistic woman sentences like "had autism" makes me feel like an illness.
Thank you so much for making these video. Its really great hearing from someone that has gone though what ive gone through living with ADHD. It can be so lonely being different from other people and the constant trying to do better but failing. I've faced evictions and homelessness. Money and staying organized has always been my #1 problem.
I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression while I do have both it wasnt the underlying cause. About a year ago I finally realized I have ADHD and I finally started getting treatment for it. Because of this my life has started to get better.
My husband showed me your channel. He has ADHD as well but his symptoms are definitely different than mine but also somewhat similar. Lol
Thank you so much again for all you do. I'm going to keep watching and keep getting better control of it.
About one and a half year ago, youtube recomended this video to me. And it changed my life.
Today, I got my ADHD diagnosis. Finally I can name, what bothers me since my childhood, and I can take more actions to live with it.
Thank you so, so, sooooo much for your work and your videos!
Wow. The part about doing great in elementary school, then starting to do worse in school around the time puberty hit? That was me! It's so validating to hear this. I never put together that it could have been about puberty. I didn't know what was wrong with me.
It was the same for me. Never knew why until now..
I was like this too.
Same! It hit me around 15. I was always a great student growing up, but along the way I would clash with teachers and still somehow find myself being looked down upon. It wasn't until I started struggling in school that anyone even considered ADHD
Same for me! I was always advanced in reading and the things that interested me. I remember having to do times tables races and so many of the other kids moved up to the higher level sheets, they were color coded so it was obvious, while I got stuck in the 7's. Humiliating and discouraging. It wasn't until college, taking algebra for the 3rd time that I had a teacher who showed me how my thinking about the problem was wrong so I could understand it! I began to love it! I was excited about it because it became a puzzle, one which I could finally solve! I'll never forget that teacher for helping me. He said it was the teacher's fault because they didn't understand it themselves!
Me too like I had some symptoms of adhd in elementary school but like since 13 and 14 it went pretty downhill for me and I didnt understand why
Starting to come to the realization that a lot of my “unknown” symptoms of my mental illness line up with ADHD in females and this was just the confirmation I needed to consult my doctor about it.
My fiancé actually was the one to point out my symptoms/internal struggles aligning very closely with his own ADHD symptoms. He convinced me to get evaluated, and I officially was diagnosed a few months ago!
But yeah, same here! ADHD was the one diagnosis that seemed to fit the most.
@@xChiimerax same
Same
me too i never looked at adhd symptoms before bc its wasnt for me now i realize its diferent for womens and i can really relate a lot with this
@@xChiimerax do you get any medication for it and if so, in what way does it help or affect you?
This is the best and most relatable video about female ADHD I have ever watched. Thank you for having the courage to share and create your channel!
Everything about how I thought about myself completely changed after my diagnosis. My confidence has grown so much
That squiggly line on the menopause section of the chart is the most relatable thing I've seen in days.
Not to scale...... I laughed so hard 😂🤣😂🤣
I basically got my diagnosis because of menopause,at 49 🙄
I absolutely laughed out loud at that one. I’m a mid-50’s peri-menopausal woman at the moment and after an exhausting process and a lifetime of issues i finally got a formal diagnosis of ADHD yesterday!!
I CACKLED at "*Hormones not to scale" 😂😂😂
"if you are struggling, there is a reason you are struggling. Our struggles being invisible to others doesn't mean they are imaginary"...thank you for that phrase...
Yes! It's like the "you don't look sick" thing. WITAF? It's like Americans only recognize cancer patients with no hair and wheelchairs, otherwise you must be fine. It makes me furious.
Over a year ago my doctor when through a questionnaire with me and just said i had some adhd traits but now enough to be diagnosed. Its gotten worse over the year and now i fully believe i was just better at masking it before. Thank you for the video.
I had such severe social anxiety coming out of high school, and over 10 years later I’m now finding out I very likely have ADHD. (I was pre-screened positive by my primary, now waiting to see a psychiatrist for an official diagnosis.) This video hit so close to home in so many ways, thank you for sharing your story and letting me, and others, know we’re not alone. (These videos are helping a TON while I wait for my appointment.)
I really resonate with feeling like your struggles "aren't bad enough" to merit assistance or that someone else's is worse so I "shouldn't complain." So glad you started this channel to share! ♥️
That last one irks me. My struggles may be milder, but they are different, and every bit as valid.