I now have sanity of mind - there are no words to convey how GREATFUL I am for your DILIGENT study and observation Danish as I came close to going over the edge
I have to listen to a co worker tell me how he hates his job and has three to four job offers every week. But never takes one. Then he tells me. Neil. You should be the one to quit your job. It would be so easy for you ro just quit because you don't have a wife or girlfriend to worry about. Then I go silent but get in trouble from management for having an attitude and being disrespectful Because. When I dont talk to coworker he complains saying I am moody, upset and have bad attitude. Management knows what is going on but won't do anything about it
@@carolcole570 With narcissist I would say demon possessed. Some of them literally have memory gaps of up to 80% of their life. That means something else or their other self or selves were in control 80% of the time. You have to realize that the narcissist as a personhood is atrophied and a shell of who they once were or could have potentially been. What they show you is not them as a person because their person has been trapped in a paralyzed mental laboranth for years to the point they can no longer express their true selves and many believe or would say their true self no longer exist or is dead. What happens when an unclean spirit or spirits finds an empty shell? I'm heavy into spirituality so that is the lense I look through. Outside of this I believe every narcissist has been injured and it just creates a vicious cycle of injury and madness.
I think a narcissist is terrified of people around him knowing who/what he really is. As a wife of a narcissist I covered for him and made excuses. Recently I informed him that k would no longer do this and would tell people exactly how he acts, what he says. This stopped him dead in his tracks. He had no comeback.
Bravo. This came for me, picked up my ph camera to film his raging, sulking. Said one word, Proof, told him to pack up. Yes, I was terrified, but I couldn't stand it literally to be near or literally have such a dark spirit in my home. My reaction was as if Id been thrown in with a tiger. That footage was enough to force him to know his game was over. Looking back, this could have had different outcome. The other fear is questioning Future Fake stories. X would get mad at any clarifying questions. 😂🤝❤️
I moved in with a “friend” (was just using me bc he needs a hand to hold and is super insecure). He started talking crap behind my back about how I ditched him and so on. It was because I moved in and he was treating me like he was trying to assert dominance (my mom was a narc and my brother) so I’d be nice to him but keep my distance. I was always the one to say hello tho and ask him how his day was. Then he started giving me the silent treatment bc of it and that’s when I realized something was up. Then our other roommate told me after I asked him if I was right 😂 he treats everyone like shit but has money so uses that and his mommy issues and daddy issues as a cop out (I’m not one to dismiss someone’s feelings but he just seems way too entitled and knows he’ll get away with things. He’s also the youngest in his family and tries to always overshadow my problems when I’d try and talk with him to maybe get him to open up). So after I heard him say enough shit about everyone and talking about others behind their back to me and the people around us, I decided to call him out on it, nobody was around bc his gf walked away as I started. But now they all give me the silent treatment and won’t go in the living room unless theres someone with them. 😂 it’s just crazy how pathetic some ppl can be and I’m sorry you gotta deal with that
That was their 1st concern, until they grt threatened of being exposed. Being exposed is number1-10 most terrifying for them. So now they need to discredit or destroy your credibility. Or remove you from earth. Or "hope" that if they leave you, that you will not expose them. They are not good at trusting.... so expect anything.
@@sarahmurray4646thry do not fear God. They can blatantly lie and swear on God they are telling the truth, without even blinking etc. They spit on Gods name with their actions. They can pretend to be religious etc. But their emotional empathy is so weak that they are close to soulless, but more of a vessel which demons has latched onto to spread chaos and turmoil towards good people. Narcs will target empaths.
Yep, but my Sister went further! Did a character assassination with friends and family! She's trying to control our elderly parents, and at times screams at them. I see this as my opportunity to out Her! Stopping her is an issue. My Parents don't want us to argue among us. I need a police report on hold, then when I can get her on camera another! My Parents are so used to her yelling they say well you yell too, and that isn't true! Recently at holiday parties she yelled in front of guests! I know have witnesses... she'll just say we were mean to her and that stressed her! She recently came to my house when my daughter had permission to be here. My Sister manipulated her way in and told her she could help clean whikecwe were out of town! I had already told my Sister I did nit need her help. I see her OCD/OCPD symptoms. My house has extra stuff as my Son moved out of a 2 bedroom apt to travel for work. So, we certainly didn't need help with untrustworthy relatives going through our things while we are storing my Son's thing. My Daughter realized but couldn't get ger to leave! We feel invaded, traumatized., criminalized even... then when I didn't show appreciation she decided to tell our friends abd relatives how bad my house us fill of trash! So disrespectful!'I have no idea still what to do! Get screaming at my folks takes top priority at this time as ut is believed she is trying to discredit me to get my POA over a few of my parents finances. My only retaliation has been to tell a couple of relatives & Friends that she seems outvif dirty with being a widow for 10 years and we need their prayers! In reality she's been like this in a milder way her whole life ...we just called it Bossy! At 70 I'm feeling close to a heart attack trying to cope! 🙏
Recently learnt how to ignore my partner, and leaving him on his own, he hates being ignored, and hates being alone...seems to have made a small difference, baby steps.
When I left home, my narc father literally couldn't speak. I had saved up from 15 to 17, and concealed those savings, to get a safe place to run to. I also very carefully made it look as though I was finally utterly beaten and be his whipping boy all my life. Then came the day I left. Both he and my mother were at the other end of the house, I hurriedly packed my bag and tiptoed out of the house. I was halfway down the driveway when my mother saw me and called to him. He stood there in the doorway goggling at me in confusion then rage. He was so enraged his mouth just moved aimlessly. My mother did what his hand painfully gripping her shoulder ordered her to do and called me back inside. I left. Best day of my life.
Dang, I wish I had done that at that age. Would have done me the world of good, I hope it has for you. Wait, what am I saying of COURSE it was better!! Anything is better than being around a narc.
They have reason to fear death because our Great and Faithful Judge The Lord Jesus Christ will cast them out into the outer darkness for all eternity where there is wailing and gnashing of teeth. I have seen thus condemned souls suspended in darkness and their faces are gone berserk. I said Lord God do not show me this evil. Lord God keep me on the narrow path. Amen.
God will judge my husband. God gave him so many chances years after years. God told me that He will go after him. Then his eyes will be opened how much he hurt me and kids and others around him.
I think what they fear the most is being rendered irrelevant/unimportant and therefore losing the ability to control you. They hate losing power and control. This was an excellent video.
My Mom to a tee. She ignores my health issues. I am no longer useful to her as my medical issues do not allow me to be at her beck and call. I have little contact with her. She has been told she needs to call my brother for her transportation needs.
in my lived experiences, the biggest fear the idiot narcissist has is, you discovering who they truly are. when the mask slips off, you can't unsee it. 2nd biggest if not tied for the biggest is them being abandoned, which can trigger a nasty narcissist collapse. stay strong fellow survivors, and keep fighting the good fight! cheers from southern ontario, canada 🍁
Narc's No. 1 Fear is EXPOSURE. When Exposed they go quiet and hide. Four narc siblings attacked me by emails and cc'd to entire family, their kids n my kids.Two said dont bother writing back. (Ha ha) to one i said why ? bec. I'll write the truth ? To ano. "Flipping shit on me n telling me not to flip it back on you ?" I wrote back exposing all fours dispicable acts n behaviours and gave them back left right and centre. Non replied. They hiding.2 yrs now. Expose them openly to all at the right time .At peak when it's boiling over. That will kill them.They'll go into hiding.They wont come near you ever. You'll F___ them up.!! Ha ha.
I was dating a Married narcissist. I apologize I now know better. When I broke it off this man suddenly became ill. He started complaining of some blood disorder. I didn't believe him. After I cut all ties he stop reaching out. About 2 weeks I was awoken up out of my sleep saying, what is going on with Richard, why I feel he in the hospital. So said so done. When I call around he was in the intensive care unit. Nobody knew what was wrong with him. I made a mistake and went to look for him. Big mistake. His wife found his cell phone with all his lovers men and women. I only texted regular stuff. When he awoken he threw me under the bus and told his wife I was crazy and all those people in his phone was me. She started harassing me in the hospital where I was doing surgery and this man did nothing. I just got over everything. I thank GOD for my indiscretion because this man open my eyes to the narcissistic world and my life has forever changed for the better
That's called gaslighting! So they don't have to take responsibility for their actions or behavior! They turn it around on you and say you made me do this!!
Exactly. They don’t want to believe the genuine good in you . A narc wants to think and tell you you’re a disloyal , liar and cheat like they are . They’re uncomfortable with genuine loving people. They can’t accept it because they’re not like that.
Stay strong in his mercy, the joy of the lord is my strength, God is always good all the time 🙏 All the time God is always good 🙏 Jesus loves you ❤️ Amen 🙏
This happened to me in a meeting recently. It had just begun. The boss asked if anyone had any ideas why something had happened the way it did. Narcissist pointed her finger at me said I handled that area. It's not even my job, and the boss wanted ideas not blame shifting. Narc showed her azz that day!
As you said, they are terrified as being revealed as the hateful, empty, immoral entities that they are and absolute control over us is the primary way to protect that illusion. Their bag of dirty tricks is always at the ready.
Isaiah 54:17 King James Version (KJV) No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and their righteousness is of me, saith the LORD.
Thank you! I will use this verse as encouragement in the coming days. A narcissistic neighbour is trying to have me evicted. Management has fallen for their lies. I’m praying the truth will be revealed at arbitration in May. She is very convincing to others but God is omnipotent and omniscient. Surely He will protect me as she seeks to destroy me.
They are most afraid of, in my opinion, and you touched on it, is being “found out.” Of who they really are. They are afraid of their reputation as a good guy, their “outside personalities.” But “inside the home, etc. they are hell to live with.”😢
My ex daughter-in-law is a narcissist who was furious that i was the only one who saw through her fake illnesses. During covid i refused to let her move back to the house my son and i shared. Drove her crazy lol
A coworker tried to humiliate me in front of the law partners at my firm in an email. I responded professionally and explained all the ways she was incompetent and not doing her job. She is enraged.😂😂😂😊
I exsposed him He exploded with anger He is a con artist and lies about who and what he really IS 5 months since i kicked him out Im healing thanks to your informative videos to help me in my healing . Im free and i thank God i am free FINALLY free
Oh man, my ex wife absolutely exploded when I revealed her gaslighting. She tried telling me an event from my college years, before I met her, was wrong. I called my friend in front of her, put him on speaker and my story was confirmed. She exploded, accused us both of conspiring against her (he had no clue I'd call and ask about something from years ago) and kicked me out of her parents house where she was living. She was using that story to confirm her claim of my abusive ways (which I wasn't) to validate her taking the kids away. I'm thankful for that because that was my wake up to her ways. I had believed her gaslighting for years, doubted my own perceptions and memories, reality was confusing. Now 16 months later I'm doing much better after therapy, divorce, getting back on my feet, and have joint custody. The kids have begun to wake up, too, thankfully, and recognize her narcissism.
I did all 5 of these things before I left for the final 7th time. Have you ever been double gaslighted at the same time by two Narcissists? I have. By my ex husband and mother in law. It was terrible. I am truth teller! Been healing for 5 years now.🤗😀 Thank you Danish. Love your videos.
100% well said!! In my experience, totally true. "There's no excuse for abuse" so whether you live &/or work with narcissitic people it's still too hard & noone should have to put up with it. My narcissitic so-called "father" is the perfect example of this.
When a toddler gets no more reaction from a broken toy, it becomes bored and abandons that former stimulant. Same dynamic here 😊 To give the player a reaction is to reward that immature one. YOU have the power to abstain - so, You are the one who's really in control. You can choose to leave the adult player starving for that sick stimulation. You will find it's also much easier than defending your character and your rights (which is exhausting, plus futile against someone with no capacity to empathise). Your reaction also fed the beast what it wanted)!
I know that the one his biggest fears is being exposed for the monster that he truly is. He’s lied and manipulated people, hurting so many with no empathy. With all that you stated Danish, he must have really hated my truth, authenticity, and genuine love.
My Narc husband is afraid of all these things. But most of all, he is afraid of me. He knows i no longer have any self doubts. I quit drinking 6 months ago. He was of course the reason for this problem to begin with. But i knew in order to defeat him, it would require a clear mind. That and therapy have given me the strength to stand up to him. My exit strategy is in place. Thank you so much for the knowledge we need to live on after this trauma❤😊
Godspeed, friend. You'll do great. Walk away and never look back. Important: DO NOT let him know you are planning to leave. Not even on the day of. Just go. Take care of yourself! You can do it!👍🏼
When i speak in a more assertive tone, they accuse me of being harsh. I respond, "i am just trying to get my point across because my opinions are often dismissed or overlooked."
My narcissistic wife interrupts me quite often never letting me speak, but often railroads me when I’m trying to respond. Flips my words and points all the fingers on her hand at me. Tells me I need therapy and I need to figure out what’s wrong with me because I’m so difficult of a person. when I try to speak she tells me I’m yelling at her (when truly I’m not I’m only passionate on trying to tell her how I feel and my stance on whatever the subject is) and I need to have more respect and how I need to watch my tone. But the entire time she’s clapping her hands together, burning holes through me with her eyes, shouting, accusing me of all kinds of nasty things, never giving me a moment to speak.
"Stop attacking me". If I had a nickel...... GAP, HOMER MI. What's incredibly baffling is how disengaged GAP is towards his family. UNLESS HE NEEDS SOMETHING..... yet, no one addresses his personality style..... was really sad to witness. Reverse discard is successful!!
@@SAFARI512 Go to couples therapy & let her rant & look like an idiot while you nod & gently say how you never get to speak so you never feel like you matter but be prepared to think cos 'I don't know' can only last so long. Please read this quote a few times. "A wise man can learn more from a foolish question than a fool can learn from a wise answer”. - Bruce Lee.. So face your fear speak your truth & put your foot on your new path.. It's not hard it's just your life.... Hugs from Australia XXX
He told me he couldn't be with me because I can't change. This is how I am mold. He then discarded me saying he can't be with a woman he can't control. I guess his mission was to.bring me down, because I am usually a confident and self assured, but he changed me into someone who tolerated things I wouldn't usually tolerate. It was like I was under a spell.
My Ex and proud to say Ex , of three years tried to break me . I defended and defended and then I went silent ! He hated this. I also told his family what he was like and this enraged him. Be gone you devil forever . Namaste 🙏
Sadly i tried to think about it in those terms….., its a disease that the patient doesnt want the medicine for…but its ABUSE…and you can only go back so many times before they kill you…. If they could all just find Jesus
I was artistic when I first got married. I started to do some ceramics. My husband decided that it looked like fun ; so he started to go with me. We had two kid's he decided I needed to stay home with the kids. I water colored painted too. He would get mad because I was spending to much time painting. All my housework was done and everything I needed to do was done. So I put it aside and went and sat with him and we watched TV. What he wanted to watch. FUN NOT To this day I don't paint or do any art. I do some doodling from time to time but I throw it away when I am done. They suck out people's joy.
This guy is UNBELIEVABLE. 8:35 seconds just changed my life. I’ve finally figured out that I will no longer react to their messages and accusations and their efforts to try to make me feel like I’m the one who’s done THEM wrong. No more. What a free feeling. Thank you for helping people like us who have tried so many times to see the good and give the benefit of the doubt, only to get burnt. Your videos are priceless.
I found this to be absolutely true. I recently found out I'm on the Spectrum. I'm also exceptionally sensitive. A lethal comb for a parent who can't handle anything truthful, reality driven or involves emotions. It must have been Sheer TORTURE for my mother to deal with me on any level my entire life. She's at the end of her's & I'm healing. Hopefully the God she believes in so dearly will forgive her for her treatment of everyone during this life she's spent torturing her family. I used to feel bad for her, watching her body degrade and become feeble. I got over it. I realized during one simple accusatory exchange that she is STILL just a sad, pathetic but nasty, manipulative woman who has been miserable her entire life. What a waste. She has left nothing but pain and destruction in her wake. The entire family is now completely dismantled. Just how she wanted
Spot them early tell them nothing and avoid.. sadly took a while for me realise I had a vile parasitic narcissist “Friend” Videos like this are very useful.
All of these points are so true. The ex was only home after work a few hours when he was in port and gone 6 months out of the year. But in retirement and being around him full time, his true colors really came out. Especially after i had a stroke. Boy they are cold when you can't get things done for them..That was first time he swung at my head.. He was mad cause he had to make himself a sandwich. Lol. Heaven forbid. That was enough for me. I made plans while i recovered as much as i had to function and left. It was scary . 58 and starting over being the first time i was out all on my own. I got my first apartment and started to find myself of the things i liked and the freedom to do so. No kids or anyone to worry about. I even got to rest after work and sleep without interruption. What a treat. . It's the best thing i ever did. They say the only way to survive a narcissist is to get away. I got away from all of them.i hadn't talked to my dad in 27 years, too. Just found last summer he passed in 2019. It sounds bad, but it was a relief never having to worry him ever show up again after moving back to the west coast. I never talk to my ex and 2,000 miles from him too. Court ordered no more threats and in a security building. Lol. That was 11 years ago. Time as flown by and after a few years I've got peace. Its really nice to have. 😊😊 i hope everyone here and be ok too. Some stories are heartbreaking. I wish everyone well. Its not easy i know. But don't give up. I was told there's light at the end of the tunnel. It didn't seem so at the time but its true.
Things I’ve had to say to my narc hubs: “I’m allowed to have my own opinion.” “I’m allowed to like what I like.” “I’m not your enemy.” “I’m a good and decent person, but you seem to need me to believe that I’m not.” “I have a right to go to sleep when I’m tired. I don’t need your permission.” “I’m just going to use the bathroom. Why can’t I walk from one room to the next in my own home without you asking me where I’m going?”
Why are you still there? You will not be living the life that was meant for you. Go. There are places to get help while you get on your feet. Go. LIVE. It is your right.
I think they're most terrified of facing the truth, facing their vulnerability and feeling the sadness, hurt, and emptiness as they felt when they were small and helpless x
As a daughter of a narcissist, I think my mother is most afraid of loss of control over myself and my siblings. She is always trying to keep us apart and angry at each other. She goes from one house to another running down the sibling of the house she just left. She totally remembers my childhood wrong in a way that makes her look good and everyone else is remembering it wrong.
As the son of an elderly severely narcissistic father who’s declining mentally and having a front seat witnessing his fantasy world crumble down around him because of his inability to cognitively manipulate people I can tell you honestly the numbness I feel is real. No matter how hard I try I can’t bring myself to feel sorry for him or even wanting to step in and help him. He has alienated all of his family and friends in his final years and has become unbearable to be around. Everyone has always known but tolerated his behavior but that ship has sailed. He will unfortunately leave this world all alone. 😢
People needs to stop letting narcissist think they are right, and don't hold back on putting them in their place. Stop being afraid of narcissist because that's where they get their power from. Don't let them put words in your mouth by over talking you, and making you forget about what you are saying.
its so CRAZY for me to wake up, and get to know about narcissism.. 50 years walking trough hell, of trauma and abuse.. and now i finally see it all clear.. from my ekstreme dysfuntional famile, into even more ekstreme marriges.. oh my god what a fucked up life.. now i finally has found freedom and peace,, i think, it was what i had to learn in this life..
I’m w/ you on that, never too late to learn something new. But, I remember being so angry. When I found out he was a narcissist…. I had no clue of what a narcissist even was. We’ve been together almost 25 years and life has really made a difference now that I know what’s going on. I feel a lot more in control of my life.
#4 seeing the childish tantrum of the true self exposed - shocking to see. Certainly surprised me - took me a bit to realize he had a personality change in the process. But wow, I will never forget the day.
They are terrified of people standing up for themselves after they tried tearing them apart and trying to make everyone think you are the crazy abusive one
Our resident narcissist (our prime minister) has a large platform . We’ve watched him up and down , fake , it’s been interesting , but the one thing he cannot stand is being laughed at. It takes all his power away , and he gets angry . I think it’s our super power 😊
Don't take it personally when your narc sibling calls you a bold-faced liar-- in front of other people, of course. That's ur cue to use it against them when the situation presents itself. Stating calmly "that's a lie" or better, "ur a liar" to their face in front of others is all you need to say to humiliate them.
That is what I am dealing with I have been with him for 59 years and have been sick the past five. My daughters have shown that they inherited his narcissism. I am stuck and pray every night to not wake up in the morning.
Narcissist terrified the most of being exposed of their lies, ppl knowing who they really are, how evil they really are. They can't feel empathy or compassion for others because they're so selfish.
Went to a concert with my ex narc, she relentlessly reminded me I was embarrassing her by bobbing my head to the songs and having fun. After 45 minutes of that insanity, I yelled F-U, walked out and went home. I regret my reaction but I wasn't gonna be blamed for enjoying a concert " she picked " and accused of embarrassing her. Such bullcrap.
I recently exposed my narcis-sister to her 2nd supply guy just before the new year and he left her which resulted in a narcissistic collapse. I've been sending her exboyfriend of 18yrs videos on narcissism and also informed him that my narcis-sister had a 2nd guy she was seeing while she was with him. These videos have helped him out of her toxic breakup/make-up cycle and move on with his life. Thank you for all you do!🙏🙏🙏✌💜
@@traumamom4338 I don't like seeing people being emotionally, mentally and physically abused and manipulated to aquire their properties/assets, convincing people to make her their beneficiary. She also befriends elderly people by becoming their care taker and winner their trust but it's only to aquire their property, money or items. She's an evil person.
In the beginning and in the middle of a relationship, the narcissist will have your head spinning around in circles. By the time you wake up to their manipulation and gaslighting, you start to realize you are "NOT" crazy! 6:08
I had a very strange thing happen recently when I told a narcissistic person in a work group exactly what I thought of them, then led the project by doing a huge bulk of the work myself out of frustration. After the project was over, another coworker came up to me and told me that [narcissist] has a crush on me, and is going to ask me out. I was…confused and uncomfortable to say the least. And when they did ask me out, I told them no and that I don’t date people I work with, and to please not bring this up again. They’ve asked me two more times since then and only stopped when I threatened to report them for harassment if they don’t drop it. Now they’re asking every other person we work with for personal details about myself (where I was born, how tall I am, how much I weigh, what my hobbies are, what my past relationships were like, etc.). It’s extremely disturbing, but I’m letting them dig their own grave and documenting it every step of the way. I refuse to let them chase me out of this job, because I earned it.
Oh, that's awful! When I started my current job, a narc sent a coworker to ask me similar questions. I knew who wanted to know, but had no idea they were a narc then.
when they know that you are seing trough their lies, and dont belive the illusion they have, and wont you to have, about them self.. they wont you to think they are special, when they actualy are nothing..
And they are nothing only bc they insist on depleting everyone around them. It's not that they have nothing to give, it's that the only thing that feels good & right to them is to rob others of their self-esteem/self-worth, time, energy, dignity, etc & never face any consequences for treating people like shit. They feel entitled to take from others without giving anything in return (the core wound is toxic shame from childhood, but you could explain it perfectly to them in plain english & they will never accept it & work on themselves. They can't fathom that earning & maintaining complete trust & emotional connection with another human being could possibly feel & be a trillion times more enriching & rewarding than constantly lying to them, manipulating them, exploiting them, using them, betraying them, draining the life out of them, etc.)
My God you've just said EVERYTHING that is happening this very moment in my marriage. He knows i know who he is, he knows he can't control me anymore, he knows I'm finally standing up for my self. He has just threatened to kill me if I "ruin his public image he has worked so hard for". These are his exact words 💯 I've stopped fighting back I just laugh bcos I've empowered myself with knowledge.
After watching videos on this subject of narcissism I’ve realized that I’ve wasted 30 to 40 years of my Life ! and there’s women narcissistic too , so nice to educate one’s self on this horrible personality disorder. I’m 64 now and free from the mental abuse!!! LIFE IS GREAT!!
I deal with a narcissist mother and a sister; apart from everything you said, they also dismiss your views and presence. They seek your suggestions for everything and when you respond, they devalue your opinion or you as a person entirely. I found the best way to deal with them is not feeding into their toxicity and act in your defence without telling them your plan
That last one! A recent narc i encountered for an extended period of time! He was so tired of the authenticity. What i realised was that he was working so hard to love bomb serveral people and then immediately operationalize devaluation . Then stepped in me, the authentic enlightened one😂 putting everyone on their realest pedestal with continuous words of encouragement day in day out. Those simple acts seemed to put his devaluation step to a complete halt and forced him back into love bombing to keep up his image and avoid risk of exposure. The rage! They truly are tired of authentic people. Not just cos of envy but its that authentic people raise the bar of lovebombing for them, making them work harder than they planned to😂😂😂
I think they absolutely do not want anyone to know how insecure they are, that they dislike themselves and want everyone else to be as miserable as they are.....hang in there and do not fall for it even when they are saying things that hurt you deeply.
Yes I remember how my mother would feed off my insecurities and sadness. I would catch the corners of her mouth trying not to smile when I was crying. When I was happy and full of joy and laughing she would say disapprovingly , “Well someone’s happy.”
All of these are so so true Danish. #1 is interesting. My ex narc. husband remarried and his first child with this family is autistic and completely non verbal. I can only just imagine how unhinged this must make him, given the manipulations he performed on the members of our family. #3 is exactly my situation. Strong sense of self and moral compass. Was like a magnet to my narcissistic ex husband. He was constantly in a state of debasing me or knocking down. I asked my mother once, not at that time realizing that she too, is a narcissist. Why is everyone I come into contact with, always trying to thwart me. She said "you are just one of those people that everyone wants to knock down a peg or two". I was like WTF? A mother tells this to her daughter. Now it all makes sense.
Thank you, Danish for your expert insight into the narcissist. Every time I listen to your videos I gain more insight for myself going forward as a survivor.
Thanks Danish for explaining everything so well. I wish I could talk to you in person about my daughter. I think she's narcissistic although there some things that don't match to her. When she was little she was diagnosed with ADHD, she used to have huge tantrums and she was very defiant. When she became a teenager, she was obsessed to be popular, and she started to be with bad crowds. Her dad left us and she got worse, she started blaming me for everything that when wrong in our lives. She even became aggressive towards me. I had to call the police on her twice and they took her to jail. All my life I had helped her in everything, I mean Everything... but she is very ungrateful. She have two kids that I had helped raise them since birth and they're my life. Now she is 36 and I'm 61 , and I have lupus and she is living with me now because she left the kids father because he is abusive. But now in my house she is controlling everything, she is very loud and her music too and she is always arguing and I tell her, to be considerate with the neighbors but she doesn't care. She wants me to help her with her chores around the house, and with this lupus sometimes I can't even get out of bed. She doesn't pay anything in the house and I don't care I just tell her to respect me, but I think I'm asking her too much. Anyway I think if I continue I can write a book 😢. My heart ❤️ to all the mothers that have the same situation, because we love our daughters and sons so much. What is helping me in this situation is my faith in the Lord. 🙏 Danish, do you have a video about how a person develope narcissism? Do you think is hereditary?
I think you would be better off to just let her go. Then focus on your health. She has no empathy or sympathy. So she will never see you as a person with feelings.😢
Omg thank you for this, this is how my husband acts and i always think that something is wrong with me , i cry every day while he tells who i am, i never have peace. He brings me down oh God.
Isn't it horrible to be told who you are and not in a nice way ofcourse. To be belittled and made to feel worthless even though you work harder and are acknowledged by others more. That drives them crazy. Why should anyone say something nice about us. We shouldn't and don't deserve to be told something nice. Please don't stay. Leave. Thirty years for me was plenty!
Losing all their success or money if they got it, when lots of people see who they truly are and they lose their constructed image of a respectful decent person(for coverts), getting seriously sick or getting their appearance ruined, people who are really strong and whom they cant bring any harm in any possible way, losing their “power” whatever that may imply, death.
I appreciate your videos so much. My ex was a covert narcissist although I wasn’t aware what it was so many years ago. I thought I loved him deeply and he really drug me through the mud. Only understood when my daughter revealed herself in a brutal way to me a couple years ago. She called me an idiot for not knowing she was covert and told me she never loved me while also cutting me off from her newborn daughter I had been helping her take care of while she was recovering. It’s been two years and I realize I’m the lucky one because I’ve been recovering from her gaslighting and other mistreatment I had resigned myself to enduring. I have woken up and know I’m worth more. Her baby will be growing up with that treatment and my son recently told me she kicked the father of her baby out, lying saying he was abusive. I had watched her mistreating him and before she discarded me he was being nasty to me because she had lied saying I was abusive. He probably still doesn’t understand what happened to him with the manipulation. To not be able to see my granddaughter is heartbreaking, but I know she’ll try to alienate her daughter from her own dad. Doesn’t matter he was an ass to me even though I had done nothing to either of them, but he deserves to be able to see and have contact with his daughter. I remind myself daily not to be all soft wishing for a relationship with her or my granddaughter because if she ever comes back around I don’t want to be used and thrown away like trash again. If her ex was to fight for custody I’d definitely be on his side.
Thankyou Danish for making this video. Everything makes so much sense to me now. I was in a relationship with what I now know to be, a malignant narcissist and in the space of 8 months, I became a shadow of my former self, mentally crushed, no self-esteem, feeling worthless and constantly insulted and called fat. I was told the reason he had cheated was because of me so ultimately it was my fault, not his. I even ended up having therapy as he convinced me that my mental health was having a detrimental effect on the relationship and I needed to change. He said my jealousy and paranoia was a real problem for him. He used to say that all his former girlfriends said he was the best in the bedroom! Ha really. He spat in my face then couldn't remember doing it the day after he got so enraged. When I ended the relationship and kicked him out, he said he had never loved me and he had tricked me all the time and I was so stupid I never realised. I didn't know whether I was coming or going half the time, what was real...I was so upset one day and he stood there and just laughed. He constantly said inappropriate things in front of my friends and family and made other people think he was a wonderful human being. I hope I never have the misfortune to ever encounter a narcissist again. They are the lowest of the low.
Extremely interesting! Exactly what I have been through, exact conclusions from 43 yrs of marriage! But unfortunately nothing can be changed! 😢. It takes a very long time to recognize these traits! N very few people know how to deal with them,unfortunately! Narcissists ruin life!
I'm an autistic woman who was raised by narcissists. I love your videos; they've given me the closure I needed to go no-contact with my birth family and step-family.
thank you, very helpful for me. My half sister is a narcissist. Growing up i was the older sister, or i dont think i would have survived, she was a malignant narcissist, i still bare the scars but i was born belonging to myself, and always knew the problems were not me but her strange way of looking at things, she is and always will be dangerous to other people, i knew that when i was young, i just hoped she'd grow up, unfortunately she never did, she is a high flyer, very successful, hopefully she wont destroy too many people. i did try to make people aware they were in danger from her, but they never listened, or they spoke to her about my worries and she as always used the info to get closer to the person concerned, so i could not intefere, i saw the destruction she left behind gosh it was heart breaking to know what she does but all i could do was leave her to her life..... i am happy not having her around she really was malignant........
2:10 this was eye opening for me. all through my teenage years my mother beat me down for being an antisocial psychopath (her words) because i didnt show emotion in situations she tried disregulating everybody. I then learned to mask better and contort mt face into what she wanted to see from me. even if it was distressing for me, it calmed her down
Nah. They are not terrified of being discarded. Thats only against their ego. They will however come back go manipulate you later, so THEY can eventually discard you. Revenge mentality and EGO. They lnow that all their narc supplies are temporary. Thats why they will play up several extra supplies in case need more. And they are quick to target new supplies. They are NOT afraid of you discarded them. You must stop evaluating analyzing a narcissist mind from a normal person view. Narcs lack real emotional empathy. They only have cognitive empathy. So they will not feel. They will only "feel" loss in stability. Then they just find a new target. And they are mastermanipulators. So thats an easy job. They never loved you. They never really hated you either. You were an energy source for their Vampire-like needs. They drain humans of energy, jist like a vampire drains humans of blood. Nothing good comes from being long term in a marriage with a person with Narcissism Personality Disorder (NPD). but sidenote, everyone have some small traits of narcissism. So we are only talkong about those that have NPD.
I am married to a narcissist, 35 years now. I always thought he was just controlling. I realized last year, when I stumbled onto your channel, what I’ve been dealing with. He knows that I know, and have proof, and he’s building his army against me. I quit confronting him and have turned what was love into coldness. Nothing he does can hurt me anymore, except coming between me and family. But I won’t let him win there either…I intend to stay 3 steps ahead of him. I am taking over the control, I won’t leave but I won’t allow him to leave either. Yes, this is way out of character for me, but I’m channeling my inner actress to keep my sanity and keep me focused on what’s real. I know they say two wrongs dont make a right, but he took too many good years from me, and payback is a bitch!
Number 1 explained a lot to me, I'm not comfortable with being vulnerable and showing emotions so I put poker face in difficult situations, which caused the narcissist to be very aggressive against me, who unfortunately was my therapist
They are afraid of being exposed. Absolutely! Here is an example, I am currently in the process of sending my dad to prison for his abuse of me as a child. He is so wicked and evil. He is doing his best to get me to give him a plea deal, not because he is a changed man or sorry for what he did and is taking his punishment like a man, but to protect his image at all costs. That is what his LAWYER told the Assistant Attorney General who is taking my case. And yet, he knows that by doing so, he is still keeping his flying monkeys around him believing that he’s doing it for my benefit and because he’s a good man. These people are dangerous.
We are not so afraid of people attaching a lable to us then advertising it, the more its done the more you get what you expect to see so continue as much as you like. Exposing isnt some one size fits all to defeat the evil narc, if someone is being turned into a crying mess cause they feel exposed I'm far beyond whatever the fuck that even is. You play your game we play ours at least make it entertaining.
My therapist helped me with handling narcissists with this easy to remember word: DEAL Defend - you don’t have to defend yourself or your actions. It’s not their place to judge you. Explain - you don’t owe the narcissist any explanations for what you do or don’t do. Apologize - you don’t need to apologize for living your life as YOU see fit. Lie - you don’t need to lie about your life, your actions, your feelings - whatever.
Now I cannot remember if I defended myself again needlessly this morning while I was being concerned about how the cleats on the bottom of my shoes might be permanent defacing the college building I was in when in a line up to use the elevator right next to a help desk where there is sometimes the odd unruly student being rude to staff there. In my concern while at the back of the line instead of remaining on the marble tiled floor I took note of who I had been standing behind when choosing to wait on the carpeted area right next to that line up until getting to the front of the line up to board the elevator when one of 2 security gaurds there gave word that it was time for the next group of students to board the elevator. When I took the first step towards the elevator the other security gaurd instead who had not given word to board the elevator ordered me to go to the back of the line again. Instead of trying to explain why his perception of me having had broken an important norm was wrong I turned my head to the other student who would have been standing in front of me to say, "I already am at the back of the line" whereupon he nodded and then the usual number of students there proceeded to board the elevator before that controlling of us guard changed his mind about my right to be there too. My right to be there despite the fact that the overshoes I purchased to go over my running shoes with built in cleats on them seem too big for my feet despite the fact that I chose the apporpriate for women size when purchasing them. Why I find myself in that kind of predicament more than other people do in some places I have no idea as to why. IS that because I come from a working class family in which we all respect the hard workers who have spent countless hours to build the infrastructures which we are often taking for granted or is it because I am neurodivergent or is it because I am an overscrupulous as my mother believes of me person or is it because of both reasons? At any rate I am from now on going to take the stairs there more often to get enough exercise or take another elevator nearby which I always do when not wearing cleats when it is icy out anyway.
💯👍 That's a good one!! 😂 Maybe I should use it as my "deal breaker" when I identify narcissitic people which in my experience is alot of people who live on planet earth..
The third one hit home with me! When I refused to respond, no reaction he would say I was a scaring him how crazy I was the way I was blowing up and causing a scene. I was totally not responding. I was supposed to lose it and when I didn't he didn't know what to do except make up what I did!
Link to my best resources:
linktr.ee/narcabusecoach
I'm sorry but it won't let me comment. The spectrum comment made me laugh so hard cuz I'm on the spectrum. ❤
I now have sanity of mind - there are no words to convey how GREATFUL I am for your DILIGENT study and observation Danish as I came close to going over the edge
הוא מנסה לפגוע בך והסביבה שלך כדי לשלוט במציאות.
I have to listen to a co worker tell me how he hates his job and has three to four job offers every week. But never takes one. Then he tells me. Neil. You should be the one to quit your job. It would be so easy for you ro just quit because you don't have a wife or girlfriend to worry about.
Then I go silent but get in trouble from management for having an attitude and being disrespectful
Because. When I dont talk to coworker he complains saying I am moody, upset and have bad attitude.
Management knows what is going on but won't do anything about it
Hi Paki, how are you?❤
I am thoroughly convinced that these narcissists are demons and not humans. Real humans don't act or behave this way.
Red, are you saying they are actual demons…..or demon oppressed……or demon possessed ?❤️
I think my turtles possessed!! He bit me!! Never before in 30 years
I call them vampires energy drinkers
@@Kellystella97absolutely! Great expression 🙏
@@carolcole570 With narcissist I would say demon possessed. Some of them literally have memory gaps of up to 80% of their life. That means something else or their other self or selves were in control 80% of the time. You have to realize that the narcissist as a personhood is atrophied and a shell of who they once were or could have potentially been. What they show you is not them as a person because their person has been trapped in a paralyzed mental laboranth for years to the point they can no longer express their true selves and many believe or would say their true self no longer exist or is dead. What happens when an unclean spirit or spirits finds an empty shell? I'm heavy into spirituality so that is the lense I look through. Outside of this I believe every narcissist has been injured and it just creates a vicious cycle of injury and madness.
I think a narcissist is terrified of people around him knowing who/what he really is. As a wife of a narcissist I covered for him and made excuses. Recently I informed him that k would no longer do this and would tell people exactly how he acts, what he says. This stopped him dead in his tracks. He had no comeback.
Bravo. This came for me, picked up my ph camera to film his raging, sulking. Said one word, Proof, told him to pack up. Yes, I was terrified, but I couldn't stand it literally to be near or literally have such a dark spirit in my home. My reaction was as if Id been thrown in with a tiger. That footage was enough to force him to know his game was over. Looking back, this could have had different outcome. The other fear is questioning Future Fake stories. X would get mad at any clarifying questions. 😂🤝❤️
I moved in with a “friend” (was just using me bc he needs a hand to hold and is super insecure). He started talking crap behind my back about how I ditched him and so on. It was because I moved in and he was treating me like he was trying to assert dominance (my mom was a narc and my brother) so I’d be nice to him but keep my distance. I was always the one to say hello tho and ask him how his day was. Then he started giving me the silent treatment bc of it and that’s when I realized something was up. Then our other roommate told me after I asked him if I was right 😂 he treats everyone like shit but has money so uses that and his mommy issues and daddy issues as a cop out (I’m not one to dismiss someone’s feelings but he just seems way too entitled and knows he’ll get away with things. He’s also the youngest in his family and tries to always overshadow my problems when I’d try and talk with him to maybe get him to open up). So after I heard him say enough shit about everyone and talking about others behind their back to me and the people around us, I decided to call him out on it, nobody was around bc his gf walked away as I started. But now they all give me the silent treatment and won’t go in the living room unless theres someone with them. 😂 it’s just crazy how pathetic some ppl can be and I’m sorry you gotta deal with that
@@jbrown2908 yes, there is no trust there
They absolutely hate to lose control and their facade is the first thing in their control method
@@caroleminke6116I know the feeling. I frequently wonder why it seems to be spreading so much now.
A Narcissist is Terrified Of being DISCARDED BY You, SO they DISCARD you FIRST and act like a victim
They are discarded by God a more terrifying result for them, thank you Jesus the only wise judge. Amen.
That was their 1st concern, until they grt threatened of being exposed.
Being exposed is number1-10 most terrifying for them.
So now they need to discredit or destroy your credibility.
Or remove you from earth.
Or "hope" that if they leave you, that you will not expose them.
They are not good at trusting.... so expect anything.
@@sarahmurray4646thry do not fear God.
They can blatantly lie and swear on God they are telling the truth, without even blinking etc.
They spit on Gods name with their actions.
They can pretend to be religious etc.
But their emotional empathy is so weak that they are close to soulless, but more of a vessel which demons has latched onto to spread chaos and turmoil towards good people.
Narcs will target empaths.
That's so true.
Yep, but my Sister went further! Did a character assassination with friends and family! She's trying to control our elderly parents, and at times screams at them. I see this as my opportunity to out Her! Stopping her is an issue. My Parents don't want us to argue among us. I need a police report on hold, then when I can get her on camera another! My Parents are so used to her yelling they say well you yell too, and that isn't true! Recently at holiday parties she yelled in front of guests! I know have witnesses... she'll just say we were mean to her and that stressed her! She recently came to my house when my daughter had permission to be here. My Sister manipulated her way in and told her she could help clean whikecwe were out of town! I had already told my Sister I did nit need her help. I see her OCD/OCPD symptoms. My house has extra stuff as my Son moved out of a 2 bedroom apt to travel for work. So, we certainly didn't need help with untrustworthy relatives going through our things while we are storing my Son's thing. My Daughter realized but couldn't get ger to leave! We feel invaded, traumatized., criminalized even... then when I didn't show appreciation she decided to tell our friends abd relatives how bad my house us fill of trash! So disrespectful!'I have no idea still what to do! Get screaming at my folks takes top priority at this time as ut is believed she is trying to discredit me to get my POA over a few of my parents finances. My only retaliation has been to tell a couple of relatives & Friends that she seems outvif dirty with being a widow for 10 years and we need their prayers! In reality she's been like this in a milder way her whole life ...we just called it Bossy! At 70 I'm feeling close to a heart attack trying to cope! 🙏
They hate a strong willed person that they can't break, being ignored, being alone, being called needy and telling them that you want peace.
Ignoring mine made them snap into violence.
Recently learnt how to ignore my partner, and leaving him on his own, he hates being ignored, and hates being alone...seems to have made a small difference, baby steps.
100% correct
When I left home, my narc father literally couldn't speak. I had saved up from 15 to 17, and concealed those savings, to get a safe place to run to.
I also very carefully made it look as though I was finally utterly beaten and be his whipping boy all my life.
Then came the day I left. Both he and my mother were at the other end of the house, I hurriedly packed my bag and tiptoed out of the house.
I was halfway down the driveway when my mother saw me and called to him.
He stood there in the doorway goggling at me in confusion then rage. He was so enraged his mouth just moved aimlessly.
My mother did what his hand painfully gripping her shoulder ordered her to do and called me back inside.
I left. Best day of my life.
Dang, I wish I had done that at that age. Would have done me the world of good, I hope it has for you. Wait, what am I saying of COURSE it was better!! Anything is better than being around a narc.
@Loralu192 Yes. It wasn't easy for a couple of years but it was paradise compared to the hell he put us through.
7😅@@Loralu192
That's freaky, it's good that you had the courage to save yourself from being their victim.
@@felicitybywater8012You are amazing ! So young and so smart. You literally saved yourself. Best wishes for a bright future.
They are absolutely afraid of death also. They know they will stand before the real all knowing & all powerful & it’s not them.
They have reason to fear death because our Great and Faithful Judge The Lord Jesus Christ will cast them out into the outer darkness for all eternity where there is wailing and gnashing of teeth. I have seen thus condemned souls suspended in darkness and their faces are gone berserk. I said Lord God do not show me this evil. Lord God keep me on the narrow path. Amen.
@@sarahmurray4646
God won't stand a chance against me. He's so over dramatic and looses control I will have him in the palm of my hand
@@sarahmurray4646 Amen 🙏
They are totally separate from the One
God will judge my husband. God gave him so many chances years after years. God told me that He will go after him. Then his eyes will be opened how much he hurt me and kids and others around him.
They are afraid when they have no effect on you.
Me likey
Yep
I think what they fear the most is being rendered irrelevant/unimportant and therefore losing the ability to control you. They hate losing power and control. This was an excellent video.
My Mom to a tee. She ignores my health issues. I am no longer useful to her as my medical issues do not allow me to be at her beck and call. I have little contact with her. She has been told she needs to call my brother for her transportation needs.
Yes Lisa! That summed it up!
Yep. Once my narc friend realized I wouldn't be manipulated, that was the end of the relationship.
I agree, very helpful video
in my lived experiences,
the biggest fear the idiot narcissist has is, you discovering who they truly are. when the mask slips off, you can't unsee it.
2nd biggest if not tied for the biggest is them being abandoned, which can trigger a nasty narcissist collapse.
stay strong fellow survivors, and keep fighting the good fight!
cheers from southern ontario, canada 🍁
Bro can I get your contact speaking from Ghana?
Narc's No. 1 Fear is EXPOSURE.
When Exposed they go quiet and hide. Four narc siblings attacked me by emails and cc'd to entire family, their kids n my kids.Two said dont bother writing back.
(Ha ha) to one i said why ? bec. I'll write the truth ? To ano. "Flipping shit on me n telling me not to flip it back on you ?"
I wrote back exposing all fours dispicable acts n behaviours and gave them back left right and centre.
Non replied. They hiding.2 yrs now.
Expose them openly to all at the right time .At peak when it's boiling over. That will kill them.They'll go into hiding.They wont come near you ever.
You'll F___ them up.!! Ha ha.
I was dating a Married narcissist. I apologize I now know better. When I broke it off this man suddenly became ill. He started complaining of some blood disorder. I didn't believe him. After I cut all ties he stop reaching out. About 2 weeks I was awoken up out of my sleep saying, what is going on with Richard, why I feel he in the hospital. So said so done. When I call around he was in the intensive care unit. Nobody knew what was wrong with him. I made a mistake and went to look for him. Big mistake. His wife found his cell phone with all his lovers men and women. I only texted regular stuff. When he awoken he threw me under the bus and told his wife I was crazy and all those people in his phone was me. She started harassing me in the hospital where I was doing surgery and this man did nothing. I just got over everything. I thank GOD for my indiscretion because this man open my eyes to the narcissistic world and my life has forever changed for the better
100% well said!! In my experience too, your comment is very right
It can be dangerous, however, when the Narc knows that YOU KNOW he's a Narc.
No matter what you do for them it will never be right you will always be turned into the bad guy, and they always become the victim…
That true
A.victim always needs a villian!
Yes always!
They accuse us of doing all of the bad things that
THEY do.
That's called gaslighting! So they don't have to take responsibility for their actions or behavior! They turn it around on you and say you made me do this!!
That sounds like a Democrat
That is so true
Sound like tRump
Political Parties do the same and with outstanding success.
Number 5 definitely resonates. He hated the fact that I was loyal, honest and had integrity.......all the things that HE did not have.
Praise be to God for your authenticity, Jesus make you a force of great love in His Kingdom, Amen
That part hit hard
So true
Exactly. They don’t want to believe the genuine good in you . A narc wants to think and tell you you’re a disloyal , liar and cheat like they are . They’re uncomfortable with genuine loving people. They can’t accept it because they’re not like that.
And, constantly testing you to discover if they can move your line.
When you have healed there is nothing you need anymore. , your own strength and god will be there ❤ blessed with faith
Stay strong in his mercy, the joy of the lord is my strength, God is always good all the time 🙏 All the time God is always good 🙏 Jesus loves you ❤️ Amen 🙏
The narcissist is always pointing their fingers at the innocent, calling them the narcissist.
This happened to me in a meeting recently. It had just begun. The boss asked if anyone had any ideas why something had happened the way it did. Narcissist pointed her finger at me said I handled that area. It's not even my job, and the boss wanted ideas not blame shifting. Narc showed her azz that day!
Isn’t that the truth. They are all masters of deflection.
Absolutly true my narc husband does the same comment to me ,being himself a covert narcissist
As you said, they are terrified as being revealed as the hateful, empty, immoral entities that they are and absolute control over us is the primary way to protect that illusion. Their bag of dirty tricks is always at the ready.
Isaiah 54:17 King James Version (KJV)
No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and their righteousness is of me, saith the LORD.
Thank you! I will use this verse as encouragement in the coming days. A narcissistic neighbour is trying to have me evicted. Management has fallen for their lies. I’m praying the truth will be revealed at arbitration in May. She is very convincing to others but God is omnipotent and omniscient. Surely He will protect me as she seeks to destroy me.
@@julesonthebeach777 Amen, pray for Him to protect you.✝️❤️
Amen 🙏
Thank you, I needed this reminder! ❤️🙏🏻
Just like Jesus used the Word against Satan, the Word is the truth, and a narcissist cannot handle the truth.
They are most afraid of, in my opinion, and you touched on it, is being “found out.” Of who they really are. They are afraid of their reputation as a good guy, their “outside personalities.” But “inside the home, etc. they are hell to live with.”😢
My ex daughter-in-law is a narcissist who was furious that i was the only one who saw through her fake illnesses. During covid i refused to let her move back to the house my son and i shared. Drove her crazy lol
Pm. @@lizholden3939
I understand now your talk made alot of sense thank you
They are afraid of the truth, and people seeing them for what they really are.
They are terrified of looking stupid or wrong, or not being seen as the smartest person in the room.
I work with one just like that. Just recently said in an email that he doesn't like making mistakes and being seen as stupid. Mmm hmmm!
A coworker tried to humiliate me in front of the law partners at my firm in an email. I responded professionally and explained all the ways she was incompetent and not doing her job. She is enraged.😂😂😂😊
It is the word. Stupid, that will set my sitter off her narcissistic pedestal, she loses it. I rarely use that against her. But when I have, DUCK!
If you ever correct one on a mistake, they throw the biggest tantrums
I exsposed him
He exploded with anger
He is a con artist and lies about who and what he really IS
5 months since i kicked him out
Im healing thanks to your informative videos to help me in my healing .
Im free and i thank God i am free
FINALLY free
He invited me over. I read to him what a narcissist is, and he called the law on me to remove me from his place.😊
Oh man, my ex wife absolutely exploded when I revealed her gaslighting. She tried telling me an event from my college years, before I met her, was wrong. I called my friend in front of her, put him on speaker and my story was confirmed. She exploded, accused us both of conspiring against her (he had no clue I'd call and ask about something from years ago) and kicked me out of her parents house where she was living. She was using that story to confirm her claim of my abusive ways (which I wasn't) to validate her taking the kids away. I'm thankful for that because that was my wake up to her ways. I had believed her gaslighting for years, doubted my own perceptions and memories, reality was confusing. Now 16 months later I'm doing much better after therapy, divorce, getting back on my feet, and have joint custody. The kids have begun to wake up, too, thankfully, and recognize her narcissism.
I did all 5 of these things before I left for the final 7th time. Have you ever been double gaslighted at the same time by two Narcissists? I have. By my ex husband and mother in law. It was terrible. I am truth teller! Been healing for 5 years now.🤗😀
Thank you Danish. Love your videos.
Imagine me. Born in a narc family of 8 out of 11 and being the scape goat.
Oh ya ..I get it
One was my bf and the other my boss smfh....we all met so close to each other there were times I've wondered did they know each other for real
@@prophet1782- You must be meant for great things. Already proved greatness by surviving that baptism of fire, I'm thinking.
I am happy for you.
They hate when you know what they are up to and they literally lose there minds😊
They are afraid of the truth.
On every level. In every scenario.
And especially - ABOUT THEMSELVES.
Brilliant. I think they are the most annoyed by authenticity. But screw them!
SO hard not to take it personally when you have to live, or work with them or for them!
100% well said!! In my experience, totally true. "There's no excuse for abuse" so whether you live &/or work with narcissitic people it's still too hard & noone should have to put up with it. My narcissitic so-called "father" is the perfect example of this.
When a toddler gets no more reaction from a broken toy, it becomes bored and abandons that former stimulant. Same dynamic here 😊 To give the player a reaction is to reward that immature one. YOU have the power to abstain - so, You are the one who's really in control. You can choose to leave the adult player starving for that sick stimulation. You will find it's also much easier than defending your character and your rights (which is exhausting, plus futile against someone with no capacity to empathise). Your reaction also fed the beast what it wanted)!
True, but knowledge is power. Keep learning to defend yourself and how to turn the tables. Luck to you😊
I'm so in this mess with mother in law. It's BAD😢
@@bethgermanetti2432 😭 so sorry,you deserve 💯 the best!!
I know that the one his biggest fears is being exposed for the monster that he truly is. He’s lied and manipulated people, hurting so many with no empathy. With all that you stated Danish, he must have really hated my truth, authenticity, and genuine love.
Cold,indifferent scorn. Not shouting,or crying or trying to describe their faults to them,just icy emotionless scorn.
My Narc husband is afraid of all these things. But most of all, he is afraid of me. He knows i no longer have any self doubts. I quit drinking 6 months ago. He was of course the reason for this problem to begin with. But i knew in order to defeat him, it would require a clear mind. That and therapy have given me the strength to stand up to him. My exit strategy is in place. Thank you so much for the knowledge we need to live on after this trauma❤😊
May God go with you.
😂
💪😎🙏💕
So he has all the money clearly then lol
Godspeed, friend. You'll do great. Walk away and never look back.
Important: DO NOT let him know you are planning to leave. Not even on the day of. Just go.
Take care of yourself! You can do it!👍🏼
When i speak in a more assertive tone, they accuse me of being harsh. I respond, "i am just trying to get my point across because my opinions are often dismissed or overlooked."
Exactly! Sometimes tone has to change to get a message across.
My narcissistic wife interrupts me quite often never letting me speak, but often railroads me when I’m trying to respond. Flips my words and points all the fingers on her hand at me. Tells me I need therapy and I need to figure out what’s wrong with me because I’m so difficult of a person. when I try to speak she tells me I’m yelling at her (when truly I’m not I’m only passionate on trying to tell her how I feel and my stance on whatever the subject is) and I need to have more respect and how I need to watch my tone. But the entire time she’s clapping her hands together, burning holes through me with her eyes, shouting, accusing me of all kinds of nasty things, never giving me a moment to speak.
Or when you are direct or blunt, you are accused of being ""just so mean" or abusive
"Stop attacking me". If I had a nickel......
GAP, HOMER MI.
What's incredibly baffling is how disengaged GAP is towards his family. UNLESS HE NEEDS SOMETHING..... yet, no one addresses his personality style..... was really sad to witness.
Reverse discard is successful!!
@@SAFARI512 Go to couples therapy & let her rant & look like an idiot while you nod & gently say how you never get to speak so you never feel like you matter but be prepared to think cos 'I don't know' can only last so long. Please read this quote a few times. "A wise man can learn more from a foolish question than a fool can learn from a wise answer”. - Bruce Lee..
So face your fear speak your truth & put your foot on your new path.. It's not hard it's just your life.... Hugs from Australia XXX
He told me he couldn't be with me because I can't change. This is how I am mold. He then discarded me saying he can't be with a woman he can't control. I guess his mission was to.bring me down, because I am usually a confident and self assured, but he changed me into someone who tolerated things I wouldn't usually tolerate. It was like I was under a spell.
I feel you because experienced the same thing.
It's a con, not a spell. Give them no credit.
Are these traits of a narcissistic? Can you please define a narcissistic...I'm so confused and going through so much
That is unfortunately what they are up to! Stand your ground!
Danish...thank you so much for posting your videos!!
My Ex and proud to say Ex , of three years tried to break me . I defended and defended and then I went silent ! He hated this. I also told his family what he was like and this enraged him. Be gone you devil forever . Namaste 🙏
It’s easier to defeat her (or him) when you realize they’re just wounded children inside 😔
That's some good advice! Next time my narc coworker lies about me, I may say: it's not nice to tell lies, like one would with a child.
Sadly i tried to think about it in those terms….., its a disease that the patient doesnt want the medicine for…but its ABUSE…and you can only go back so many times before they kill you…. If they could all just find Jesus
Congratulations on defeating a wounded child do you feel better now? lmao
I was artistic when I first got married. I started to do some ceramics. My husband decided that it looked like fun ; so he started to go with me. We had two kid's he decided I needed to stay home with the kids. I water colored painted too. He would get mad because I was spending to much time painting. All my housework was done and everything I needed to do was done. So I put it aside and went and sat with him and we watched TV. What he wanted to watch. FUN NOT
To this day I don't paint or do any art. I do some doodling from time to time but I throw it away when I am done. They suck out people's joy.
This guy is UNBELIEVABLE. 8:35 seconds just changed my life. I’ve finally figured out that I will no longer react to their messages and accusations and their efforts to try to make me feel like I’m the one who’s done THEM wrong. No more. What a free feeling. Thank you for helping people like us who have tried so many times to see the good and give the benefit of the doubt, only to get burnt. Your videos are priceless.
The N in my life is terrified of being alone, in his own company. It's like without others they somehow don't exist.
They are always around 10 friends or on the phone all day calling people 😩
@@AllthingsHealth_ And/or social media addicts. Predators are looking for supply at all times.
Yes on the phone. Can’t be alone.
Excellent observation. I agree with you.
Most terrified of not having any supply
Yes. Once my narc friend realized I *knew* the game she was playing, her facial expression changed completely. And the relationship ended.
Narcissistic collapse! Music to my ears!!
I found this to be absolutely true. I recently found out I'm on the Spectrum. I'm also exceptionally sensitive. A lethal comb for a parent who can't handle anything truthful, reality driven or involves emotions. It must have been Sheer TORTURE for my mother to deal with me on any level my entire life. She's at the end of her's & I'm healing. Hopefully the God she believes in so dearly will forgive her for her treatment of everyone during this life she's spent torturing her family. I used to feel bad for her, watching her body degrade and become feeble. I got over it. I realized during one simple accusatory exchange that she is STILL just a sad, pathetic but nasty, manipulative woman who has been miserable her entire life. What a waste. She has left nothing but pain and destruction in her wake. The entire family is now completely dismantled. Just how she wanted
Spot them early tell them nothing and avoid.. sadly took a while for me realise I had a vile parasitic narcissist “Friend” Videos like this are very useful.
Yes, unfortunately I found this is out too late.
All of these points are so true. The ex was only home after work a few hours when he was in port and gone 6 months out of the year. But in retirement and being around him full time, his true colors really came out. Especially after i had a stroke. Boy they are cold when you can't get things done for them..That was first time he swung at my head.. He was mad cause he had to make himself a sandwich. Lol. Heaven forbid. That was enough for me. I made plans while i recovered as much as i had to function and left. It was scary .
58 and starting over being the first time i was out all on my own. I got my first apartment and started to find myself of the things i liked and the freedom to do so. No kids or anyone to worry about. I even got to rest after work and sleep without interruption. What a treat.
. It's the best thing i ever did. They say the only way to survive a narcissist is to get away. I got away from all of them.i hadn't talked to my dad in 27 years, too. Just found last summer he passed in 2019. It sounds bad, but it was a relief never having to worry him ever show up again after moving back to the west coast. I never talk to my ex and 2,000 miles from him too. Court ordered no more threats and in a security building. Lol. That was 11 years ago. Time as flown by and after a few years I've got peace. Its really nice to have. 😊😊 i hope everyone here and be ok too. Some stories are heartbreaking. I wish everyone well. Its not easy i know. But don't give up. I was told there's light at the end of the tunnel. It didn't seem so at the time but its true.
Things I’ve had to say to my narc hubs:
“I’m allowed to have my own opinion.”
“I’m allowed to like what I like.”
“I’m not your enemy.”
“I’m a good and decent person, but you seem to need me to believe that I’m not.”
“I have a right to go to sleep when I’m tired. I don’t need your permission.”
“I’m just going to use the bathroom. Why can’t I walk from one room to the next in my own home without you asking me where I’m going?”
Why are you still there? You will not be living the life that was meant for you. Go. There are places to get help while you get on your feet. Go. LIVE. It is your right.
I think they're most terrified of facing the truth, facing their vulnerability and feeling the sadness, hurt, and emptiness as they felt when they were small and helpless x
As a daughter of a narcissist, I think my mother is most afraid of loss of control over myself and my siblings. She is always trying to keep us apart and angry at each other. She goes from one house to another running down the sibling of the house she just left. She totally remembers my childhood wrong in a way that makes her look good and everyone else is remembering it wrong.
Ever heard this one I've learned myself about my narc husb. " HE HATES WHAT HE LOVES"!!!
Reality and the truth in their face. Lies being exposed. Taking responsibility fo their own action. The Word no.
As the son of an elderly severely narcissistic father who’s declining mentally and having a front seat witnessing his fantasy world crumble down around him because of his inability to cognitively manipulate people I can tell you honestly the numbness I feel is real. No matter how hard I try I can’t bring myself to feel sorry for him or even wanting to step in and help him.
He has alienated all of his family and friends in his final years and has become unbearable to be around.
Everyone has always known but tolerated his behavior but that ship has sailed.
He will unfortunately leave this world all alone. 😢
People needs to stop letting narcissist think they are right, and don't hold back on putting them in their place. Stop being afraid of narcissist because that's where they get their power from. Don't let them put words in your mouth by over talking you, and making you forget about what you are saying.
So true!!
its so CRAZY for me to wake up, and get to know about narcissism.. 50 years walking trough hell, of trauma and abuse.. and now i finally see it all clear.. from my ekstreme dysfuntional famile, into even more ekstreme marriges.. oh my god what a fucked up life.. now i finally has found freedom and peace,, i think, it was what i had to learn in this life..
So happy you have found peace. We should help others in our situation to not feel alone, 😊
I’m w/ you on that, never too late to learn something new.
But, I remember being so angry. When I found out he was a narcissist…. I had no clue of what a narcissist even was. We’ve been together almost 25 years and life has really made a difference now that I know what’s going on. I feel a lot more in control of my life.
Me too. I went through 60 years trying to get some kind of acceptance from a miserable messed up family.
Bless you for having a freedom, and pity those still looking to escape the trauma.
#4 seeing the childish tantrum of the true self exposed - shocking to see. Certainly surprised me - took me a bit to realize he had a personality change in the process. But wow, I will never forget the day.
They are terrified of people standing up for themselves after they tried tearing them apart and trying to make everyone think you are the crazy abusive one
They are terrified of abandonement and facing the void.
No they aren’t afraid of abandonment. They a abandon people when you are no longer useful for them.
@ susannesigurdsson Basically they need an audience or validation so yep I agree with you on that
This is a good point. I haven't thought about it like that
Our resident narcissist (our prime minister) has a large platform . We’ve watched him up and down , fake , it’s been interesting , but the one thing he cannot stand is being laughed at. It takes all his power away , and he gets angry . I think it’s our super power 😊
Don't take it personally when your narc sibling calls you a bold-faced liar-- in front of other people, of course. That's ur cue to use it against them when the situation presents itself. Stating calmly "that's a lie" or better, "ur a liar" to their face in front of others is all you need to say to humiliate them.
They also try to goad you in to losing your temper in front of other people, so that they can say, "you see how crazy she is?"
@@Anna-Jadeyeah, they can be great at manipulating things in their favor, unfortunately…
Yes, siblings and moms favorite grandson, my oldest have all called me a liar. It's so sad that they can't believe the truth.
That is what I am dealing with
I have been with him for 59 years and have been sick the past five. My daughters have shown that they inherited his narcissism. I am stuck and pray every night to not wake up in the
morning.
I
Narcissist terrified the most of being exposed of their lies, ppl knowing who they really are, how evil they really are.
They can't feel empathy or compassion for others because they're so selfish.
Yes. U are 100 percent correct. The truth is the most important one they hate. The truth about their behaviour and 😂 drama..
No comment😅
Went to a concert with my ex narc, she relentlessly reminded me I was embarrassing her by bobbing my head to the songs and having fun. After 45 minutes of that insanity, I yelled F-U, walked out and went home. I regret my reaction but I wasn't gonna be blamed for enjoying a concert " she picked " and accused of embarrassing her. Such bullcrap.
They are fearful of being lonely n left behind.
I recently exposed my narcis-sister to her 2nd supply guy just before the new year and he left her which resulted in a narcissistic collapse. I've been sending her exboyfriend of 18yrs videos on narcissism and also informed him that my narcis-sister had a 2nd guy she was seeing while she was with him. These videos have helped him out of her toxic breakup/make-up cycle and move on with his life. Thank you for all you do!🙏🙏🙏✌💜
You must don't like your sister frfr
@@traumamom4338 I'm not ok with watching good people being emotionally, mentally and physically abused and manipulated for her own personal gain.
I think the narcissist is you 😢
@@traumamom4338 I don't like seeing people being emotionally, mentally and physically abused and manipulated to aquire their properties/assets, convincing people to make her their beneficiary. She also befriends elderly people by becoming their care taker and winner their trust but it's only to aquire their property, money or items. She's an evil person.
Indifference is a Narcissists biggest fear.
The are terrified of having to be alone. Without narcissistic supply, the suffer tremendously.
In the beginning and in the middle of a relationship, the narcissist will have your head spinning around in circles. By the time you wake up to their manipulation and gaslighting, you start to realize you are "NOT" crazy! 6:08
Thank you for great observations Danish. Narcisists must be left alone which is the most loving thing we can do for them.
I had a very strange thing happen recently when I told a narcissistic person in a work group exactly what I thought of them, then led the project by doing a huge bulk of the work myself out of frustration.
After the project was over, another coworker came up to me and told me that [narcissist] has a crush on me, and is going to ask me out. I was…confused and uncomfortable to say the least. And when they did ask me out, I told them no and that I don’t date people I work with, and to please not bring this up again. They’ve asked me two more times since then and only stopped when I threatened to report them for harassment if they don’t drop it. Now they’re asking every other person we work with for personal details about myself (where I was born, how tall I am, how much I weigh, what my hobbies are, what my past relationships were like, etc.).
It’s extremely disturbing, but I’m letting them dig their own grave and documenting it every step of the way. I refuse to let them chase me out of this job, because I earned it.
i feel your pain, these people are toxic and dangerous to work with
Please report them before they lie about you and report you first 🙏
Oh, that's awful! When I started my current job, a narc sent a coworker to ask me similar questions. I knew who wanted to know, but had no idea they were a narc then.
They want to know as much as they can about you to twist and use it against you. Take all your documentation to HR and report the harassment.
when they know that you are seing trough their lies, and dont belive the illusion they have, and wont you to have, about them self.. they wont you to think they are special, when they actualy are nothing..
👏👏👏
And they are nothing only bc they insist on depleting everyone around them.
It's not that they have nothing to give, it's that the only thing that feels good & right to them is to rob others of their self-esteem/self-worth, time, energy, dignity, etc & never face any consequences for treating people like shit. They feel entitled to take from others without giving anything in return
(the core wound is toxic shame from childhood, but you could explain it perfectly to them in plain english & they will never accept it & work on themselves. They can't fathom that earning & maintaining complete trust & emotional connection with another human being could possibly feel & be a trillion times more enriching & rewarding than constantly lying to them, manipulating them, exploiting them, using them, betraying them, draining the life out of them, etc.)
aAre Narcissist crazy or what they need a lot of help to bad it wasn't caught years ago God Help Them!
My God you've just said EVERYTHING that is happening this very moment in my marriage. He knows i know who he is, he knows he can't control me anymore, he knows I'm finally standing up for my self. He has just threatened to kill me if I "ruin his public image he has worked so hard for". These are his exact words 💯 I've stopped fighting back I just laugh bcos I've empowered myself with knowledge.
Competition - lack of supply - - exposure - truth - redpilled/ awakened people
After watching videos on this subject of narcissism I’ve realized that I’ve wasted 30 to 40 years of my Life ! and there’s women narcissistic too , so nice to educate one’s self on this horrible personality disorder. I’m 64 now and free from the mental abuse!!! LIFE IS GREAT!!
I deal with a narcissist mother and a sister; apart from everything you said, they also dismiss your views and presence. They seek your suggestions for everything and when you respond, they devalue your opinion or you as a person entirely. I found the best way to deal with them is not feeding into their toxicity and act in your defence without telling them your plan
That last one! A recent narc i encountered for an extended period of time! He was so tired of the authenticity. What i realised was that he was working so hard to love bomb serveral people and then immediately operationalize devaluation . Then stepped in me, the authentic enlightened one😂 putting everyone on their realest pedestal with continuous words of encouragement day in day out. Those simple acts seemed to put his devaluation step to a complete halt and forced him back into love bombing to keep up his image and avoid risk of exposure. The rage! They truly are tired of authentic people. Not just cos of envy but its that authentic people raise the bar of lovebombing for them, making them work harder than they planned to😂😂😂
They’re afraid of being exposed
💯💯💯
I think they absolutely do not want anyone to know how insecure they are, that they dislike themselves and want everyone else to be as miserable as they are.....hang in there and do not fall for it even when they are saying things that hurt you deeply.
Yes I remember how my mother would feed off my insecurities and sadness. I would catch the corners of her mouth trying not to smile when I was crying.
When I was happy and full of joy and laughing she would say disapprovingly , “Well someone’s happy.”
All of these are so so true Danish. #1 is interesting. My ex narc. husband remarried and his first child with this family is autistic and completely non verbal. I can only just imagine how unhinged this must make him, given the manipulations he performed on the members of our family. #3 is exactly my situation. Strong sense of self and moral compass. Was like a magnet to my narcissistic ex husband. He was constantly in a state of debasing me or knocking down. I asked my mother once, not at that time realizing that she too, is a narcissist. Why is everyone I come into contact with, always trying to thwart me. She said "you are just one of those people that everyone wants to knock down a peg or two". I was like WTF? A mother tells this to her daughter. Now it all makes sense.
When their subject of interest has had more than enough of their abuse they realise their own worth and end the torment and take back their power
Thank you, Danish for your expert insight into the narcissist. Every time I listen to your videos I gain more insight for myself going forward as a survivor.
Amen penny - loved your post
Thanks Danish for explaining everything so well. I wish I could talk to you in person about my daughter. I think she's narcissistic although there some things that don't match to her. When she was little she was diagnosed with ADHD, she used to have huge tantrums and she was very defiant. When she became a teenager, she was obsessed to be popular, and she started to be with bad crowds. Her dad left us and she got worse, she started blaming me for everything that when wrong in our lives. She even became aggressive towards me. I had to call the police on her twice and they took her to jail. All my life I had helped her in everything, I mean Everything... but she is very ungrateful. She have two kids that I had helped raise them since birth and they're my life. Now she is 36 and I'm 61 , and I have lupus and she is living with me now because she left the kids father because he is abusive. But now in my house she is controlling everything, she is very loud and her music too and she is always arguing and I tell her, to be considerate with the neighbors but she doesn't care. She wants me to help her with her chores around the house, and with this lupus sometimes I can't even get out of bed. She doesn't pay anything in the house and I don't care I just tell her to respect me, but I think I'm asking her too much. Anyway I think if I continue I can write a book 😢. My heart ❤️ to all the mothers that have the same situation, because we love our daughters and sons so much. What is helping me in this situation is my faith in the Lord. 🙏 Danish, do you have a video about how a person develope narcissism? Do you think is hereditary?
I think you would be better off to just let her go. Then focus on your health. She has no empathy or sympathy. So she will never see you as a person with feelings.😢
Keep praying for it to get better and stay strong, don't give in.
A narcissist fears every thing you spoke and it absolutely spot on. 👍👍
They are most terrified of you leaving them. Seeing through all this unemotional garbage and escape from this invisible prison.
Once you see through them and know who they really are and expose them, they actually want to get rid of you
@@liezebartsch-wx2wf A very painful but true realization
At last someone who can speak intelligently about this AFFLICTION❤
They are Delusional & I can’t go along with delusions
Omg thank you for this, this is how my husband acts and i always think that something is wrong with me , i cry every day while he tells who i am, i never have peace. He brings me down oh God.
Get out! You don't need him.
Isn't it horrible to be told who you are and not in a nice way ofcourse. To be belittled and made to feel worthless even though you work harder and are acknowledged by others more. That drives them crazy. Why should anyone say something nice about us. We shouldn't and don't deserve to be told something nice. Please don't stay. Leave. Thirty years for me was plenty!
Losing all their success or money if they got it, when lots of people see who they truly are and they lose their constructed image of a respectful decent person(for coverts), getting seriously sick or getting their appearance ruined, people who are really strong and whom they cant bring any harm in any possible way, losing their “power” whatever that may imply, death.
I appreciate your videos so much. My ex was a covert narcissist although I wasn’t aware what it was so many years ago. I thought I loved him deeply and he really drug me through the mud. Only understood when my daughter revealed herself in a brutal way to me a couple years ago. She called me an idiot for not knowing she was covert and told me she never loved me while also cutting me off from her newborn daughter I had been helping her take care of while she was recovering. It’s been two years and I realize I’m the lucky one because I’ve been recovering from her gaslighting and other mistreatment I had resigned myself to enduring. I have woken up and know I’m worth more. Her baby will be growing up with that treatment and my son recently told me she kicked the father of her baby out, lying saying he was abusive. I had watched her mistreating him and before she discarded me he was being nasty to me because she had lied saying I was abusive. He probably still doesn’t understand what happened to him with the manipulation. To not be able to see my granddaughter is heartbreaking, but I know she’ll try to alienate her daughter from her own dad. Doesn’t matter he was an ass to me even though I had done nothing to either of them, but he deserves to be able to see and have contact with his daughter. I remind myself daily not to be all soft wishing for a relationship with her or my granddaughter because if she ever comes back around I don’t want to be used and thrown away like trash again. If her ex was to fight for custody I’d definitely be on his side.
Hi😊😅
Thank you, love your understanding of dynamics of these very abusive people. They are not your friends
Thankyou Danish for making this video. Everything makes so much sense to me now. I was in a relationship with what I now know to be, a malignant narcissist and in the space of 8 months, I became a shadow of my former self, mentally crushed, no self-esteem, feeling worthless and constantly insulted and called fat. I was told the reason he had cheated was because of me so ultimately it was my fault, not his. I even ended up having therapy as he convinced me that my mental health was having a detrimental effect on the relationship and I needed to change. He said my jealousy and paranoia was a real problem for him. He used to say that all his former girlfriends said he was the best in the bedroom! Ha really. He spat in my face then couldn't remember doing it the day after he got so enraged. When I ended the relationship and kicked him out, he said he had never loved me and he had tricked me all the time and I was so stupid I never realised. I didn't know whether I was coming or going half the time, what was real...I was so upset one day and he stood there and just laughed.
He constantly said inappropriate things in front of my friends and family and made other people think he was a wonderful human being. I hope I never have the misfortune to ever encounter a narcissist again. They are the lowest of the low.
Terrified the most of authentic people (truth tellers), probably because that leads to possible criticism, change and abandonment
Me 😊
Being alone. They have messed up relationships with people who cannot hold them accountable for anything
Extremely interesting! Exactly what I have been through, exact conclusions from 43 yrs of marriage! But unfortunately nothing can be changed! 😢. It takes a very long time to recognize these traits! N very few people know how to deal with them,unfortunately! Narcissists ruin life!
Same is true for me
I'm an autistic woman who was raised by narcissists. I love your videos; they've given me the closure I needed to go no-contact with my birth family and step-family.
thank you, very helpful for me. My half sister is a narcissist. Growing up i was the older sister, or i dont think i would have survived, she was a malignant narcissist, i still bare the scars but i was born belonging to myself, and always knew the problems were not me but her strange way of looking at things, she is and always will be dangerous to other people, i knew that when i was young, i just hoped she'd grow up, unfortunately she never did, she is a high flyer, very successful, hopefully she wont destroy too many people.
i did try to make people aware they were in danger from her, but they never listened, or they spoke to her about my worries and she as always used the info to get closer to the person concerned, so i could not intefere, i saw the destruction she left behind gosh it was heart breaking to know what she does but all i could do was leave her to her life.....
i am happy not having her around she really was malignant........
2:10 this was eye opening for me. all through my teenage years my mother beat me down for being an antisocial psychopath (her words) because i didnt show emotion in situations she tried disregulating everybody. I then learned to mask better and contort mt face into what she wanted to see from me. even if it was distressing for me, it calmed her down
*Their own shame*
I think the narcissist is terrified of being discarded before they can discard you. I'm sure licking a narcissistic wound tastes a lot like crow.
Nah. They are not terrified of being discarded.
Thats only against their ego.
They will however come back go manipulate you later, so THEY can eventually discard you.
Revenge mentality and EGO.
They lnow that all their narc supplies are temporary. Thats why they will play up several extra supplies in case need more.
And they are quick to target new supplies.
They are NOT afraid of you discarded them.
You must stop evaluating analyzing a narcissist mind from a normal person view.
Narcs lack real emotional empathy.
They only have cognitive empathy.
So they will not feel. They will only "feel" loss in stability.
Then they just find a new target.
And they are mastermanipulators. So thats an easy job.
They never loved you.
They never really hated you either.
You were an energy source for their Vampire-like needs.
They drain humans of energy, jist like a vampire drains humans of blood.
Nothing good comes from being long term in a marriage with a person with Narcissism Personality Disorder (NPD).
but sidenote, everyone have some small traits of narcissism.
So we are only talkong about those that have NPD.
Or BS!
This is some of the BEST advice I’ve heard so far on this topic. Thank you 🙏🏽
I am married to a narcissist, 35 years now. I always thought he was just controlling. I realized last year, when I stumbled onto your channel, what I’ve been dealing with. He knows that I know, and have proof, and he’s building his army against me. I quit confronting him and have turned what was love into coldness. Nothing he does can hurt me anymore, except coming between me and family. But I won’t let him win there either…I intend to stay 3 steps ahead of him. I am taking over the control, I won’t leave but I won’t allow him to leave either. Yes, this is way out of character for me, but I’m channeling my inner actress to keep my sanity and keep me focused on what’s real. I know they say two wrongs dont make a right, but he took too many good years from me, and payback is a bitch!
Number 1 explained a lot to me, I'm not comfortable with being vulnerable and showing emotions so I put poker face in difficult situations, which caused the narcissist to be very aggressive against me, who unfortunately was my therapist
They are afraid of being exposed. Absolutely! Here is an example, I am currently in the process of sending my dad to prison for his abuse of me as a child. He is so wicked and evil. He is doing his best to get me to give him a plea deal, not because he is a changed man or sorry for what he did and is taking his punishment like a man, but to protect his image at all costs. That is what his LAWYER told the Assistant Attorney General who is taking my case. And yet, he knows that by doing so, he is still keeping his flying monkeys around him believing that he’s doing it for my benefit and because he’s a good man. These people are dangerous.
We are not so afraid of people attaching a lable to us then advertising it, the more its done the more you get what you expect to see so continue as much as you like. Exposing isnt some one size fits all to defeat the evil narc, if someone is being turned into a crying mess cause they feel exposed I'm far beyond whatever the fuck that even is. You play your game we play ours at least make it entertaining.
Absolutely 💯
My therapist helped me with handling narcissists with this easy to remember word: DEAL
Defend - you don’t have to defend yourself or your actions. It’s not their place to judge you.
Explain - you don’t owe the narcissist any explanations for what you do or don’t do.
Apologize - you don’t need to apologize for living your life as YOU see fit.
Lie - you don’t need to lie about your life, your actions, your feelings - whatever.
Hallelujah. Thank you for this very wise advice. ❤❤❤❤❤
Now I cannot remember if I defended myself again needlessly this morning while I was being concerned about how the cleats on the bottom of my shoes might be permanent defacing the college building I was in when in a line up to use the elevator right next to a help desk where there is sometimes the odd unruly student being rude to staff there. In my concern while at the back of the line instead of remaining on the marble tiled floor I took note of who I had been standing behind when choosing to wait on the carpeted area right next to that line up until getting to the front of the line up to board the elevator when one of 2 security gaurds there gave word that it was time for the next group of students to board the elevator. When I took the first step towards the elevator the other security gaurd instead who had not given word to board the elevator ordered me to go to the back of the line again. Instead of trying to explain why his perception of me having had broken an important norm was wrong I turned my head to the other student who would have been standing in front of me to say, "I already am at the back of the line" whereupon he nodded and then the usual number of students there proceeded to board the elevator before that controlling of us guard changed his mind about my right to be there too. My right to be there despite the fact that the overshoes I purchased to go over my running shoes with built in cleats on them seem too big for my feet despite the fact that I chose the apporpriate for women size when purchasing them. Why I find myself in that kind of predicament more than other people do in some places I have no idea as to why. IS that because I come from a working class family in which we all respect the hard workers who have spent countless hours to build the infrastructures which we are often taking for granted or is it because I am neurodivergent or is it because I am an overscrupulous as my mother believes of me person or is it because of both reasons? At any rate I am from now on going to take the stairs there more often to get enough exercise or take another elevator nearby which I always do when not wearing cleats when it is icy out anyway.
Good one. Similar to DEEP; do not Defend, Engage, Explain, and Personalize
💯👍 That's a good one!! 😂 Maybe I should use it as my "deal breaker" when I identify narcissitic people which in my experience is alot of people who live on planet earth..
There's another acronym JADE. Justify, argue, defend, explain. We don't need to do those things.
I have a strong self stem. He did not bring me down, like he wanted. I wasn’t hurt when he left. Only shocked when he took the mask off
The third one hit home with me! When I refused to respond, no reaction he would say I was a scaring him how crazy I was the way I was blowing up and causing a scene. I was totally not responding. I was supposed to lose it and when I didn't he didn't know what to do except make up what I did!
Mine has repeatedly labeled me as crazy when he is the one with the unstable emotional reactions to ordinary life.
@@reddawn8230 I hear you! They have bought their own b. s.