Thank you, DR. Bashir for your insightful and kind discourse regarding the Narcissist. One way to perceive the Narcissist would be to embed them within Stoic Principles, to regulate their toxic self-expressions within our mental framework. I mention this because of the nature of the unhealthy relationships Narcissistic individuals present to society, it is important to affirm a strategy to thrive despite the Narcissist and their cycles of abuse.
narcissists have no ability to accurately self reflect. they don’t think that they are doing anything wrong. they have a really distorted sense of self-appraisal. narcissists don't want a partner, they want a puppet, an errand person, someone to be subservient to them, a silent unpaid helper. they do not want someone standing up for themselves or calling them out. cheers from southern ontario, canada 🍁
as well, a "public" partner or someone to be seen with that helps them appear "presentable"......a facade. whatever it is they want who they are appearing in front of, that appeals to that desired effect. I have known men and women like this. both wanted "a partner" to show the world that they were "normal" and that "they have someone" but they do not love honestly.
it needs to serve whatever it is they think will be "acceptable" to whoever they want to impress, image not substance, rules. I agree. they hate to be exposed. God bless you.......@@carparthero
You nailed it!! When you tell a narcissist I have my own mind, mine own thoughts and beliefs. Most of the time it's honesty and truth. Something they will never understand.
the worst thing is that they DO NOT want to face their own image and of who they are - this is why they project onto you, they hate who they are, they know they are not wanted nor loved nor clean or God loving but pretend to be so they appear "acceptable" so will instead focus on YOU as the "problem". it's delusional and they lie to themselves....so afraid of seeing themselves....................so they project everything onto you........
Also, they can never offer a SINCERE apology. If they see that they’re loosing control of you, they MAY say “sorry”, but never a genuine, heart-felt “I’m sorry”, let alone be able to tell you WHAT they’re sorry for because they can’t empathise with the pain they’ve caused you. Run … run fast, you deserve better ❤
When they know YOU know they can't weasel out of this one, they say I'm Sorry but its so flat, so empty, so perfunctory it sounds bland, insincere Bcuz it is. Actions speak louder than words and soon you will SEE they never back up their get out of jail free cards 👀 They're just blowing smoke 💨 poof gone 🤨 apology evaporates into thin air 💬
Mine would defend vigorously that she didn't feel the need to apologize. If I did get an apology it would involve a way to make it seem like it was forced. Crazy.
I a person that I first met ask me an inappropriate question and I told them that how uncomfortable it made me feel they said sorry and should haven't asked that question after I called them out on it but then got frustrated they had to wait to see what I look like in person. Also the person kept asking uncomfortable questions and would tell them the we are tabling that conversation for a later day. Finally I had to block his number and Facebook. Delete their number from my phone.
They follow the fads pushed onto them by television. In the 00s it was salsa dancing, then choral singing and now wild swimming. They only want to do what's the most popular at the time as that gets them access to the most number of people.
My narcissistic was abandoned by his mother who preferred to go out drinking than take care of her 4 kids..I realise he was traumatised by it and grew up punishing every woman he met for it.🤦♀️
Same happened with my story, her dad left her family because of his alcoholism. And every men became a threat to her, it was miracle that we connected and i thought that we had pure and lovely relationship. When actually in the end she projected her dad onto me for resentment and finally depersonalized and discarded me. Several months after I still cant recover from it and totally destroyed, isolated and became homeseater.
But still feel all feelings and still love her with a hope that she could find happiness and understanding for her trauma. What a fool I am. Still in rumination always about everything and self-doubts.
Your not a fool just someone who can love..narcissists can’t love they are too self absorbed to care about other people..learn to love and respect yourself ..we all deserve to be loved back..🙏♥️
1. Why do you act so nicely in front of strangers? 2. If you hate me so much why don’t you leave me/let me go? 3. Do you genuinely believe your opinions are facts and that they supersede others? 4. Why are you so threatened by my differences? 5. What are some of your biggest hurts and pains?
2. One of them claimed that she liked me. The truth was that she didn't like anything about me. She only liked that I was available to her and was feeling lost and needy at the time. If you like someone you don't judge and criticise them a lot. Plus, she told huge fabrications about her life. She had few, if any, friends, but she claimed she had 30 friends and the same ones for over 30 years. Nobody could stand to be around her at all, or they were fooled by her, but they didn't stay long. She claimed her home was spotless, but when I visited, there were no curtains or blinds, no carpet and light bulb in the ceiling light sockets. In the kitchen, rubbish in black bin bags was piled up. She gave excuses for all these. I didn't visit her a second time. After a few weeks, I gave her a wide berth for a year, and then, at the beginning of the pandemic, I sent her a text to call her out. She got someone else to reply to it, and I texted back that I wasn't going to communicate with a third party only with her directly and alone. She still hid behind this other person. Then I blocked her phone number.
Thank you Danish. I divorced myself from my toxic family yesterday and told my mother to stick it wherever the 'ell she wants. T'was waaaaaaay overdue.
@@LiminalDrag Narcy's love to use that "don't make Grandma (or whoever) angry!" silliness as a form of control. There is no such thing as someone "making"/causing us to be angry. Anyone that suggests otherwise is using that as emotional abuse/controlling behavior over someone. Anger is a secondary emotion, typically comprised of fear, sadness, embarrassment, rejection, frustration, envy, and so on. These feelings are 100% on whoever owns them, and have nothing at all to do with the "target" of their anger or whatever. I get it that many people are conditioned to believe otherwise.
Just say what time you finish being a volunteer & you want to hang around to see the beautiful animals & go on a few rides, I went on 1 & still did it when they had a crazy attack & went off! I was told too that selfies bad God doesn't like it, stop doing it. I've done about 7 since then. He doesn't like photos & he said angrily fuck fb delete it! I said you delete it! He said he just plays a bit of poker. A bit 😂😂all day & even with the ph in his lap at church the whole time! & I say how a friend is going to the show, does lots of fun stuff, what she wants. He said if she stood on the corner & sells herself would you do it?! That's sick & I felt annoyed & tense it was late. Probably thought I wouldn't go 😂 but I didn't eat all day :( regret not getting myself a chips on stick & a nice treat, 1 off & bubble tea
I feel like I lost 20 years of my life to that nasty person. In the past I questioned certain things that were contradictory and was given such long winded explanations that left me so confused. I have been away from him for three years now and out of the blue he showed up on my doorstep wanting me to come back. I refused. He tried to tell me he still loved me and missed me blah, blah, blah and said he wanted me to be his friend. I told him no. I hope he leaves me alone as I am much happier without him. I have a protection order against him so if he dares to show his face here again I'm calling the cops.
I have been married for 34 years. I have been a fool for 34 years! I consider myself to be fairly intelligent. Until right now, when I saw your video, and totally had that "light bulb" moment. All these years I thought he was just hard headed, stubborn, controlling... I really need help!
If your husband is similar in nature to Donovan Sharpe and what he professes, I’m not sure if your husband is narcissistic or just understanding of female nature and is accounting for that. They don’t call it the “red pill” for nothing.
You are not the only one, before you think that you are stupid, it's so normal that we meet people that are stubborn, but this is extreme, they know everything better.
Love isn't about lists of reasons. It's not an end product of certain acts and qualities. Narcissists themselves usually crave reasons why they are loved, as deep down they don't know love. They don't understand love. But look into it from outside, hungry like empty ghosts. Narcissists are only familiar with obsession and glingyness, hanging on to their victim to keep themselves from drowning into their own miserable mind.
Number four is such a big one. Both of my parents constantly lamented how, "We didn't raise you to be this way!" when I differed from them on practically everything. What they never could understand is that in essence they did. I took from them an example of how I never wanted to be, and it has served me well in life.
My narcissistic mother didn't like that I started going to church and my choice of profession (education). She wanted me to work where she did (clerical in a medical office). Both of my siblings ended up working in the same hospital she did. Of course, she "put in a good word for them". Both ended up getting fired for breaking the law while on the job. Me? I enjoyed a 35 year career in education and retired in 2021. I was my mom's target but I fought back harder. Silently, but I did it.
So true, I avoid talking to any of them , if I can and when I do, I'm not listening to anything they say, I do not like to waste my time on someone who is so delusional😮
When my husband slipped and said, “I hate you.” I asked him if you hate me much why don’t we separate or divorce because I had enough. Then he changed it up. “I just hate when you do…” “I didn’t mean it like that.” “You’re blowing it up into…” Well he was actively treating me with contempt. So I would ask don’t you think you’d be happier? He literally looked at me and said, “I’m never happy.” Then he started making excuses about why he said it and blaming it on others.
@@jovanjones4275 My narc did not cheat, unless you consider his love for alcohol. He stuck to me like glue. I couldn’t even have close friends or family.
They " answer" with another question. . Again and again and again. They will follow you from room to room . . The other word that narcs cannot express is the word .. love. Hate is all they know . They will also accuse you , not loving them anymore, but of hateing them. The word love sticks in their throat.
Thank you. This is a great reminder for the narc survivors that the narcs never cared about anyone. We are confused to think they're just going through something. But here's the thing. Someone can only be saved when they *save themselves.* It's impossible that they care for themselves, because all the hate onto others stems from extreme self-hate/self-destruct. Their grandiose sense of self is only an image.
@@patricialangdon2381 love is unknown to them . They can act it out, but they don't know it precisely.. they will promise you the world, and deliver you nothing.
Like My girl who goes to a psychologist just SO tell me i AM the narcissist😂 I am like WHAT!? she goes to get told she is good at everything and i'm Bad at everything.... Then when i Say we are over she blackmails me to b again with her....she has Even said that if i don't answer her calls she Will hurt My pets or burn My car......Even when i know she loves and cares for animals.... I believe she is the narcissist one, and her psychologist is a Psycho girl too, but with a license
As someone who always tried to see the best in others (and believe I could be a positive influence and bring them to the "good side"), I finally realized that they choose to be this way and find joy and power in putting others down because they are jealous. I learned to doubt myself to the point where I could barely think for myself after 18 or so years of exposure to this. Now I trust myself and either walk away or go low/no contact if needed.
Truth: he was himself around you. The vile meaness, insults, push pull hot cold gaslighting script flipping projection blaming cheating lying...he was totally himself with you. So was mine. When I understood this he made it sooo easy to walk away. This is them at their rotten cores. They show you and no one else what they really are. Be well and may you never meet another of these soulless beasts.
If they change around others, good or bad, always believe their worst If they act nice around everyone, but talk smack about people behind their backs, then smack will be talked about you behind yours..
No he showed his demons around you, was sweet and amazingly perfect around others looking for a new supply and a strange piece to fulfill himself. I had one exactly like that. I don’t know if yours was prejudiced, mine was and still is. We couldn’t get near anyone of color or nationality, especially black people, that I didn’t hold my breath as I hurriedly walked past because I knew something insulting was coming out of his mouth to them. I actually kept walking, in case anyone pulled a knife or gun on him. Those were the moments I pretended I didn’t know him.
@@darlenesmith5524 yes he was and still is as well, prejudice I mean. I'm a pretty good mix of white and Latino. I'm very white passing though. When he found out that my grandmother was Mexican he freaked out on me. As if that changed who I was. I agree with you that he was demonic with me. I had just been freed from a lifetime of human trafficking and he was the one that picked me up. I didn't know it then but he was so happy that I was so abused and used when he found me. That allowed him to continue his abuse and probably do more than he could have before because I had no idea what was normal. He kept me locked up in a bedroom for years. Then one day he said that he was going to go out on a boat and knew that I was afraid of the water or else he would take me with him. I told him that I could be brave and wanted to do things that were hard for me because I knew I was strong enough to overcome my fears. Not even ten minutes later he didn't want to deal with me anymore and told me I had to leave her was breaking up with me. That was 2021. He would call me and make sure I was still his girl, while telling me about his new one and making sure I was still heartbroken. It was a terrible time in my life.
#5 is a big one for me. I have hunted deer for over 20 years. I took a now-former friend on his first hunt. A week before the season I asked him what questions he had, and he responded that he has already anticipated every possible scenario. I told him that was preposterous numerous times, and he blew it off until I reminded him he is not a god. He conceded he is not a god, but still claimed to know everything anyway. Needless to say he was so awful at hunting that before the trip was even over I decided I would never hunt or hang out with him ever again. Also on #5, if you ask my dad how he is doing, he will drone on for as long as you let him about how bad his health is and how bad you should feel for him even though he can't come up with a single thing he does to improve his health. He just wants to complain.
I dreaded when grocery store clerks asked my mom how she was doing. They’d get nonstop report on the status of her bowel movements (never normal) and where a yeast infection on her body was. Sometimes under boob, in vagina, or on feet.
It seems a narcissist will tell you they love you and miss you when you cut them off but, the moment you allow them back into your life it's back to the same o same o again.
I had a narcissist boss for 10 years finally I found another job went in on the weekend left a note and my key and never talk to him again. Shortly after I moved in with an acquaintance who I thought was cool and he turned out to be a narcissist so I quickly found another place to live and very happy to have dodged a bullet. After 10 years with one of these manipulative confusing demons never again!
No!! However, how amazing that they can grasp immediately a hurtful, rude, wrong behavior or words from you and condemn you - how dare you or do you know who you are speaking to? Ask them to play fetch or clean up your mess and see the bewilderment! The list of hypocrisy (oh, shhh, unbeknownst to them...how??? I mean, is it a blind spot really for them or are they just comfortable in lying to you because they gaslight and your confusion, frustration, despair fuels their delight!! Sick, twisted and I cannot do anymore of my life like this...
I actually did this to my ex.And he looks like he felt guilty and he said he wouldn't like it very much. It was for talking to the neighbors after they yield at me. I thought he quite talking to them. Turns out he would just do it behind my back and continued to be friends with them when I left Even though he said he hated them, but he would never defend me.And now I've learned.He was actually talking bad about me to them
How they don't want you to do or be any different than them. I feel I'm on the constant defense to explain why I like a certain food, music, sleep time, exercise type, etc. It's actually every single thing about what I like or how I live is wrong if it's not exactly how he is. Then I argue to defend my point and from what I've read they like to get that reaction out of you. Or he says I have anger issues and it's holding back our relationship. When really I just don't want to be controlled in every minute detail of my life.
It's so messed up when the use basic human needs like food, shelter, and more and Withhold the very things that keep you alive. We are not crazy. We are having a normal reaction to toxic behavior.
They try to make you feel like you’re crazy! I finally just stopped taking the bait! I wouldn’t react to the foolishness! It takes 2 to argue! I would leave the house & go anywhere besides home with him! I finally left in 2016! Best decision! I LOVE my peace & sanity! They don’t think you’ll leave! When I signed my lease for an apartment, he panicked! Knowledge is key to dealing with a narcissist! If you can’t leave, learn how to deflate them! There’s so much info online now!
Two narcissistic women I met, could tell me at what point in their life they decided to change from the vulnerable person they were to the strong, ruthless person they became to be. They both were hurt because they weren't accepted by the ones they depended on, their parents. So they decided to become this strong, invincible person that didn't care about (the feelings of) others. To be ruthless. They both were okay with being unable to really connect. They gave up on real relationships, didn't believe they would be safe being vulnerable, connecting with another human being. One of those women was able to love a dog. She cared about that animal passionately. He was a safe being to love for he would always love her unconditionally. My narc ex also loved our dog. But he also did use the dog to attract women, showing how 'adorable' he was with his cute dog.
My mother had 3 relationships that would love her unconditionally, her children. Yet those were the 1st relationships she made sure to destroy. We would have given her the definition of unconditional love and then some, all the things she CHOSE to do over the years to me and my sis... it was out of selfishness, greed, and her horrible need to be the "pick me" girl, the need to control everyone around her, and her belief that we were extensions of her and when she realized we were not babies anymore and had our own feelings, emotions, opinions, etc she began her campaigns... she's been running smear campaigns for over 25 years on me and my sis. OVER TWENTY FIVE. 🙄
@@jbrown2908 they don't know their behaviour is narcissistic but it is. Using people, manipulating others to get what they want, feeding on others, don't know who they really are, blocked away every part of themself they think that could be weak, believing in a false self. It sounds like I'm talking about sisters or something. One was a colleague; we were together leading a group of people in a Mental Health setting. I watched her mentally almost destroy a young man in the group and tried to stop her. The other was a friend of my husband we worked together with on a project 2 years later. She was proud to show me how she always got what she wanted without any empathy. I have lived almost 12 years with a narcissistic man in the past, got out and survived. I learned about narcism and now helping people who recover from narcissistic abuse.
@@Ginabina76 that's terrible! I'm so sorry you have to deal with such a person and miss the loving mother you deserve 😢 There has been narcissistic abuse in my family. My mother had to go through that, was traumatised. She didn't know anything about narcissism, never understood why she wasn't good enough, tried her whole life to prove she was allright. Somehow my brother and I were damaged too, had a hard time to be more confident. I believe that's why I as a highly sensitive person got stuck in a relation with a narcissist.
@@jbrown2908 I believe they are. They sound exactly like both my ex-husband and my sister. Both raised by narcs and never got early love. Neither did I, but I made a conscious decision to NOT be like my mom, and I believe my sister and husband made a different decision for survival.....to be like that abusive parent.
The dog never talks back- so the person in question can ‘love’- bc they are never challenged or asked to explain- their ideal partner is mute and adoring.
I was just about to question number 5, especially for covert narcissists and you made the exception. In that case, I've seen them blame the other person and all of their actions are excused because of that.
FANTASTIC. I appreciate your UA-cams very much.... i've got a Narci Father (and my Mother is trauma bonded to him, plus my Mother is definately Stockholm Syndromed as well)....... so I get it from both of them... and some of the things that go on around here are sickening, and the hypocracy is sickening. I've seen some of your videos where you describe how your Father was.... horrible, mine is super bad, but in a different way than yours... I really don't know how you turned pout so well adjusted, and seemingly mentally healthy. I really like your channel here. I think you're doing a lot of people, a lot of good. Thank you.
Great video Danish. My partner wouldn't be able to answer any of these questions. I just discovered your channel, and for that I'm grateful that you're sharing tactics I can deploy for my survival and sanity. I unwittingly became ensnared within her trap with no current means of escape. However, thanks to videos like yours I've gained clarity and methods of self-preservation. Thank you. Btw, your rip-curl hairstyle is awesome and makes me wish I could go surfing. Keep on doing what you're doing brother. I appreciate you.
Number 3 ! I saw it in my husband. He creates scenarios in his mind and I can see that deep inside he knows these are not real, but acts like its a real thing and most of the times gets angry in relation of these scenarios. Mind blowing !
Hi, I'm new here. I was found out what is Narcis from other channels and find out this channel are much more helpful, detailed, and frequently upload new video. I am still living with my N-mother and being stuck in the household being 30 over year in my life. Last argument, I was lost my cool with my mum that not talking any sense and I suppose not to quarrel with her. That time, I'm realising that Narcis's argument not make any progress and improvements instead they are making situations worser and worser. The heat 🔥 of the argument is keep went up they don't know how to keep it cool ❄️ and understanding. It is pointless to everyday argument that not making any sense. And I know that this is their source of energy. "If I'm wrestling with a pig, I am the one who gets dirty."
I used to say, "I love you" and meant it. She would always say, "Love you." I became aware of the fact that she couldnt say, "I, love you." Because she didnt.
That's such a good point 👏 You will text them a long, sweet text and you'll get a short text that doesn't seem personalized at all. My mom says, "Luv u 2 dot"
Everything here resonated, especially the aspect of weaponizing parts of their acknowledged past, in #5. Major time suck vortex, trying to advocate for these folks (cuz stupid us, we thought they loved us), saying things like, "why don't you talk to the therapist who is prescribing you your meds MORE than the once per year check in -- y'know, don't JUST treat them as a pill gatekeeper, TALK TO THEM." OH that's right, it's everyone ELSE who is the problem, ESPECIALLY if they share your last name... Okay, got it. 😡😤
"What do YOU bring to table?" They never know what to say. Because of course, they bring nothing. Maybe they'll say they bring love and affection, that they bring good looks, but it's never concrete. They never talk about bringing value, adding to the relationship, growth (personal and to others). It's always something along the lines of 'look what I allow you to do for me'.
Thank you the last part of this video was exactly what my ex husband would talk about and how his parents never loved him so that is why he does what he does. I am so grateful that I don’t have to listen to his stories anymore.
I always got accused of challenging my narc husband if I had my own opinion that differed from his opinions that he claimed to be “facts”. God forbid I had a different opinion. I hated when he would always say “that’s a fact” referring to his opinion. These narcs are so delusional.
All the best Danish. You brought in some explanations, for their behavior. It is truly hard to understand their lack of love decision, to reply to their childhood trauma, with a lifetime of deceit, towards others, but also themselves. You confirmed something for me. Thank you. ❤
Long before I knew anything about NDP, there was one catchy phrase that was repeated in my head over and over again and that was “ love me or leave me”. I heard that in a movie and it instantly resonated with me in a subconscious level! Now I know why all the narcissists in my life seemed to hate me but wouldn’t let me go!
My ex husband, when we began to live together, never talked about his childhood. One time I asked him frankly why he never shared these memories whith me, it was only 2 or 3 months we were living together far from my family and it was already me talking to a wall :"oh, it's not very interesting". I was afraid to pain him so I didn't ask anymore. I was so young, I didn't even know that narcissists existed ! It took me more than 20 years to connect the dots
That's true Danish, my narcissistic ex used to feel very challenged when you have a different perspective that theirs! He will say" so you are challenging me"
Man I sure said I’m not gonna keep letting you pull my strings. Dam on point with the knowledge on a narcissist I feel like I’ve talked to you bout my relationship 😂 keep it up 👍
Actually, I asked my now ex-husband why he was so much nicer to our neighbours we rarely see than he is to me and he said "Because I already HAVE you". I was shocked. I told him "You don't HAVE me!". I'm not an object. And he also started gaslighting me, trying to convince me his daughter had not been incredibly rude to me. I persisted and presented proof and he finally admitted that my version was correct but that his version was how he WANTED it to have been. It's like he felt free to substitute truth reality with his version of reality and that was ok if that's his preferred version.
SPOT ON! A few months ago I suggested to my covert narcissistic mother that she go to therapy. I kept hearing over and over again how her mother was abusive to her when she was a child over 60 years ago. I said she might benefit from therapy. She got mad actually. Thing is, my sister (favored one) suggested it too. So mom went. She keeps saying “ I go but there’s really nothing to discuss. The past is in the past” 😳 and she wants to stop going but her therapist suggested she keep coming. So my mother said to me “I think she just likes visiting with me” 😳🙄 OMG! She’s also been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. Probably therapy won’t help. You cannot change what you don’t acknowledge. But at least she doesn’t talk to ME all the time about my grandmother. I loved my grandmother and even named my daughter after her so it was hard to listen to all the stuff mom kept saying about her. And I told my mother so! I asked her to stop dumping all that on me. She finally has. It’s amazing to me how your videos are so spot on with how my mother is. Thank you! I have learned so much! I can now set clear boundaries and stick to them. If she doesn’t like it oh well!
@@caroleminke6116 I have only been watching and learning about covert narcissism for the last 8 months or so. Last summer is when I REALLY realized that is what my mother is. And then, my abusive childhood made more sense. I am not familiar with “gray rock”. Can you explain a bit more for me please? Going no contact seems impossible right now 😞
@@aleigha9141 See, if your grandmother was a covert narcissist, she could have abused mother, which you have not seen and witnessed. As well possible that your mother is not a narcissist but have a different personality problem (f.ex. borderline as you already mentioned) Because a child dont become a narcissist just out of nowhere. Even if a person has a character tendency to manipulativeness and is highly disposed, she has to have a serious trigger in addition in childhood to become a narcissist. So its serious and I suppose you should investigate and think of it deeply and carefully🤔 You see, this place does not stick together for me - a wonderful mother (your grandmother) and a toxic daughter(your mother). There is a reason somewhere or its something another or antagonistic incompatible characters..
@@zandatee I should clarify that I DO believe my grandmother was abusive to my mother (and her siblings) as my aunt has confirmed this. My mother grew up in a very dysfunctional household and family with other narcissists. One being her aunt, which was like a 2nd mother to her. I don’t doubt that my grandmother abused my mother. She did. But, that wasn’t MY experience with my grandmother of course. I also believe my grandmother was narcissistic. We know that children usually love them and they treat them well. Especially since my sister and I were my grandfather’s favorites. 🤷♀️ So, while what my mother was saying was probably at least partly true about my grandmother (mom lies so who knows really), it wasn’t my experience with Grandma and I heard it every time she was around me. I told her that it would be like me sitting my kids down and explaining the abuse that I endured growing up (I was raised in an alcoholic abusive household) and talking about all that she did. I wouldn’t do that bc that is not THEIR experience with her. My mother has always has mental health issues and has been in and out of hospitals all my life. She’s had different diagnoses over the years but the constant has been BPD. I always put her behavior whether it be what she says or things she does to me to her mental health issues and not her being a narcissist. Well, last summer, she did things that were so far out of line that just couldn’t be ignored or put to the fact she struggles with mental health problems. This time it involved my grown daughter at her wedding. Spotlight wasn’t on mom of course. Right before my daughter was to walk down the aisle my mom has an issue with seating. She’s prepared to full on make a scene unless I do something right then 😡. That is when I realized that YES she is also a narcissist. I also have mental health issues (depression, acute anxiety disorder, bipolar disorder) and have been in therapy for over 20 years to work through all I endured during my whole childhood AND things that were still continuing with her. Once it became crystal clear to me that she is in fact a narcissist (and looking at the family she grew up with I can see why) I have been learning all I can on how to deal with this. It only happened less than a year ago. I’m 51 and it took this long to admit that it was more than her mental health issues that made her behave the way she does. I am trying to navigate this relationship with her now while protecting myself bc going no contact isn’t really an option that I can see at this time. I was the scapegoat kid. Looking back over my life knowing what I know now, things make sense. They’ve fallen into place. Once you see the narcissist for who they are, you cannot unsee it. I had to work with my therapist to really wrap my head around it bc I excused her behavior all my life as she can’t help it bc of her mental health. But, she can. Thank you for your comment. I can see where you’re coming from with the information in the first comment I made. There wasn’t alot of context. But, I have already done what you suggested (which is a great suggestion btw). And the conclusion is the same. She is a covert narcissist. Admitting that was MY first step in healing. These videos, and others comments, really help in the healing process. Blessings ❤️🙏
@@aleigha9141 I had the situation - mother - a covert narcissist. Her mother - not a narcissist. So I figured out that her father has been the perfectionist narcissist. I never met him, but have heard some information bits, from them i counted out this. Mother was disrespectful and abusive towards grandmother and spoke of her -I am quite sure- narcissist father as a God. Same as grandmother did. And the abused people if they stay unawakened and unaware stay in this uncritical glorification mode of The Abuser. with a Covert narc NPD its all so veiled and sometimes turned around and looking all opposite. so have to dig to the deepest roots while its nothing more left to dig. Also what made me think of Your story - mother is now concentrating on getting her narc supply from grandchildren. While they are small covert narcissists thrive on their attention and admiration and are greedy to grab it all and fight any competition un their attention - she competes with childrens mother and is so obsessed with whom they love more. She is obsessed to be The most loved person. Narcs are projecting so she sometimes cannot hold herself and was bragging to me before I went no contact. It sounded . bad. She is taking away this joy - be with brothers children - as I just feel - she is deadly jealous and I honestly fear mother and want to escape the dirty fight so I back off. Better leave it all to her. I have a feeling like she was a crocodile who wants to drab it all and eat up whole Earth and Sun and everything. Like so greedy grabbing her narc supply... So here you have a Covert narcissist grandmothers behavior spec. when children are small. BUT she has the favourite grandchild and the neglected one even before they had born can say. Because she decides it by gender regardless anything. I will re read Your comment tomorrow for the second time as i am too tired now.
It is soooo sad people can be like this…it for sure has to be they have evil demonic entities inside of them for sure. So horrible people can treat people like this! Just know everyone here that you are valuable and Jesus loves you very much. We care here also. Hugs from JANESVILLE, WISCONSIN USA
Yes! I had 2 strokes last year and then a surgery to correct the rare issue and am now stuck - it took these traumas and me no longer being “perfect “ in his eyes to show me the truth. I have no ability to afford or not enough mental ability to do it all on my own. 😩
My sister, a psychotherapist, kept saying all that to me, it's called GASLIGHTING, she looked down her nose at me. What she accused me of , I wasn't doing. I started doubting myself!???????
Wow, that sounds absolutely the same as what I experienced and am experiencing. The study thing also fits.😮😂 I'm sorry you have to endure something like that. It's humiliating. I always feel very small in her presence and everything has to be according to her nose. Nothing can be done to please her. I've also been told that about her by others. "No, you're just imagining things." She still has so much power over me. Mental torture over and over again. I also don't know if her "love you" without "I" is meant seriously. I'm even afraid when writing these lines whether I'm just imagining it or especially that she might read it. Then my judgment is questioned again rather than her questioning herself. Of course, I'm the younger sister who still has to "practice a lot", who "disappoints" her, the "sieve brain", etc.pp. 😢 I don't know if I've ever heard a sorry from her. But why apologize when you always do everything right.
Remember people if you do happen to run into the narcissists flying monkeys you do not have to explain yourself if they know who you are in real time why worry you know who you are already. Keep it moving and do you.💯
Danish, as usual, your onto something with these questions. I found the theories of narcissistic snap shotting, narcissistic fantasy defense and narcissistic introjects get into the roots of what you’re talking about here. Admittedly I am a “why” kind of person, even though the guy that wrote these theories is not a great guy, understanding these theories made people high in narcissistic traits nearly completely predictable, for me anyway.
I was wondering in the past 20 years why is my husband behave in such a way.Nowadays I even decided to file case against him.As I have to support my children I have no other option but only to stay back.I am a government employ and have salary .Still if I am suffering this much what will be the state of a person who is not so much economically sound.I found this informations very valuable.Thankyou .
1.) I act nicely because that's how it should be. Because you should treat others how you would want to be treated. I don't like being treated poorly, so I don't treat others poorly. 2.) I don't have much of an answer other than that I just can't leave. Because leaving my current situation would put me in an even worse situation. I absolutely don't want to be here. Because I feel stuck where I'm at. 3.) My opinions have no more weight than anyone else. I just base my opinions on educated guesses or facts that I know. There just isn't anyone who has challenged my beliefs in a way for me to change mine. With no solid proof or evidence. 4.) I'm not threatened by any differences. Because everyone is their own person. 5.) My entire life has been pain. Not always of the physical kind. But it greatly contributes to it. I push through it because it doesn't do anything for me to be a burden to others. I'm not going to glorify it like I've had the worst life ever. But it wasn't all sunshine and roses
Danish, I heard all the above from the narcissist over here. I'm just amazed how all narcissists got the same pattern of narcissistic attitude. That really makes me wonder. 😊
I can spot them a mile away. Thank God! Unfortunately, others don't so they get away with the victimization, smear campaign, gaslighting. It's beyond frustrating! And of course, they want to destroy me bcs I call them out!!!
I'm wondering if there's a risk when asking a narcissistic parent question number 5 that they'll blame the scapegoat child who is asking. I'm not sure. I recall during a conflict once my mum told me that the one time she was passing through town (that I'd told her in advance that I wasn't available to see her) was the worst day of her entire life. But generally she's the type to deny any pain and make excuses for her own upbringing, exactly as you mention. I've never asked either of my parents this directly so I've no idea how they'd respond. I'm more or less completely no contact now so not much opportunity. I think question number 1 would be the most disarming with both parents. Useful info!
That happened to me. She spent an entire Thanksgiving dinner with an audience of people who knew me (brother, sister in law, etc ) saying horrible mean and unbelievable things about me. I hadn't been in touch with her in years, but started having nightmares of her again.
Ever since I’ve seen Danish videos I’ve learned and came to realize I was in the narcissist abusive bubble not relationship in a bubble that it was so difficult to get out or break but I did it now I’m trying to survive to keep away from him because I think these people are so stubborn in their heads and don’t give up when you leave the relationship
Hi, I think this. You are teaching people about narcissist. I am a old angel. I have no problem with they run from me as they should, but I don't know, but all narcissists are not the same. Some of them do what you're talking about.Not all thank you god bless❤
How do you know this? You understand this on such a deep level. I am so amazed. You just explained what I experienced but I didn’t understand - I had no words to describe this. Thank you
As long as you stick around you feed their supply. They live off of someone else’s supply. And when you no longer serve them and give them that they will go look for more in otters
I also got "Do it need a reason to love you" as a reply to why do you love me .......Unconditional love doesn't mean being foolish yall , someone will self respect will not be to the streets like that .
My husband could answer all but #4 Why are you so threatened by my differences? I had asked him something to that extent and he said he didn’t know. He was generally a covert vulnerable narcissist, so if someone could be blamed for his actions then he had an answer. He said for #1 that strangers hasn’t actively tried to hurt him like the people he knew.
A question for you Danish. Have you forgiven the narc? If you haven’t then you will never heal from the abuse, it’s pretence. If you have great 👍🏼 Talking from my own experience of living with 2 narcs. One being my father and the other the ex-husband. Forgiveness is the key that unlocks you from the prison of hate, bitterness and resentment from the trauma you experienced. It is truly liberating 🙌🏼🙌🏼 I am enjoying your videos.
Mine likes to tell me what I can and can’t wear what I should and shouldn’t eat points out flaws making sure to destroy your self-esteem and if they don’t like my hair, they’ll make sure to dismantle it and do something different to it
Your explanation made me remind about my butcher narcissist father in law because of whom his son got divorced once and now I and my baby are separated from my husband because my father in law
OMG question number 2 just blew me off I would always make him that question because that’s how I felt, if he heate me so much, why are you with me, Wow and yes I would never get an answer back the Only thing I would from him was this scary look like if he was going to punch me and his hand he would make a tight 🤛 🤜 Wow I’m so glad I’m out of that relationship Thank God
Register for workshop on "Break the trauma bond with a Narcissist"
emotionalabuserecovery.com/eventbtb
Sir, can u put a video on how to manage with narcissist boss ?
Thank you, DR. Bashir for your insightful and kind discourse regarding the Narcissist. One way to perceive the Narcissist would be to embed them within Stoic Principles, to regulate their toxic self-expressions within our mental framework. I mention this because of the nature of the unhealthy relationships Narcissistic individuals present to society, it is important to affirm a strategy to thrive despite the Narcissist and their cycles of abuse.
@@arvinduniyal1901find your. Self a new job before he drive you crazy
narcissists have no ability to accurately self reflect. they don’t think that they are doing anything wrong. they have a really distorted sense of self-appraisal.
narcissists don't want a partner, they want a puppet, an errand person, someone to be subservient to them, a silent unpaid helper. they do not want someone standing up for themselves or calling them out.
cheers from southern ontario, canada 🍁
as well, a "public" partner or someone to be seen with that helps them appear "presentable"......a facade. whatever it is they want who they are appearing in front of, that appeals to that desired effect. I have known men and women like this. both wanted "a partner" to show the world that they were "normal" and that "they have someone" but they do not love honestly.
@caroleminke6116 agreed. narcissists no matter what age have the emotional maturity of a toddler.
-cheers, steven
@@JustMe-uu3bhto your point, narcissists care about image far more than character.
-cheers, steven
it needs to serve whatever it is they think will be "acceptable" to whoever they want to impress, image not substance, rules. I agree. they hate to be exposed. God bless you.......@@carparthero
@JustMe-uu3bh to your point, narcissists fear being exposed and getting abandoned the most.
-cheers, steven
You nailed it!! When you tell a narcissist I have my own mind, mine own thoughts and beliefs. Most of the time it's honesty and truth. Something they will never understand.
the worst thing is that they DO NOT want to face their own image and of who they are - this is why they project onto you, they hate who they are, they know they are not wanted nor loved nor clean or God loving but pretend to be so they appear "acceptable" so will instead focus on YOU as the "problem". it's delusional and they lie to themselves....so afraid of seeing themselves....................so they project everything onto you........
Yes. That’s my mom 100%. She doesn’t like when I have my own views & opinions. It’s weird. 😐🥴
Having difference of opinion is natural - what causes issue is people not being upfront and compromising on each others weaknesses.
Oh my gosh, I need to make that my mantra
You cannot disagree with them
Also, they can never offer a SINCERE apology. If they see that they’re loosing control of you, they MAY say “sorry”, but never a genuine, heart-felt “I’m sorry”, let alone be able to tell you WHAT they’re sorry for because they can’t empathise with the pain they’ve caused you. Run … run fast, you deserve better ❤
Yep, when my now ex covert would say “I’m sorry “ I would ask why are you sorry ? She could never answer why
When they know YOU know they can't weasel out of this one, they say I'm Sorry but its so flat, so empty, so perfunctory it sounds bland, insincere Bcuz it is.
Actions speak louder than words and soon you will SEE they never back up their get out of jail free cards 👀
They're just blowing smoke 💨 poof gone 🤨 apology evaporates into thin air 💬
Mine would defend vigorously that she didn't feel the need to apologize. If I did get an apology it would involve a way to make it seem like it was forced.
Crazy.
They say sorry all the time but they never change their behavior
I a person that I first met ask me an inappropriate question and I told them that how uncomfortable it made me feel they said sorry and should haven't asked that question after I called them out on it but then got frustrated they had to wait to see what I look like in person. Also the person kept asking uncomfortable questions and would tell them the we are tabling that conversation for a later day. Finally I had to block his number and Facebook. Delete their number from my phone.
They dip their toes in everything, and act like an expert in something they know nothing about.
They follow the fads pushed onto them by television. In the 00s it was salsa dancing, then choral singing and now wild swimming. They only want to do what's the most popular at the time as that gets them access to the most number of people.
LOL. That is true. Ours purported to be a computer authority. He crashed countless computers.
My narcissistic was abandoned by his mother who preferred to go out drinking than take care of her 4 kids..I realise he was traumatised by it and grew up punishing every woman he met for it.🤦♀️
Same happened with my story, her dad left her family because of his alcoholism. And every men became a threat to her, it was miracle that we connected and i thought that we had pure and lovely relationship. When actually in the end she projected her dad onto me for resentment and finally depersonalized and discarded me. Several months after I still cant recover from it and totally destroyed, isolated and became homeseater.
But still feel all feelings and still love her with a hope that she could find happiness and understanding for her trauma.
What a fool I am. Still in rumination always about everything and self-doubts.
Your not a fool just someone who can love..narcissists can’t love they are too self absorbed to care about other people..learn to love and respect yourself ..we all deserve to be loved back..🙏♥️
1. Why do you act so nicely in front of strangers?
2. If you hate me so much why don’t you leave me/let me go?
3. Do you genuinely believe your opinions are facts and that they supersede others?
4. Why are you so threatened by my differences?
5. What are some of your biggest hurts and pains?
Nicely done. Only thing left is timestamps
2. One of them claimed that she liked me. The truth was that she didn't like anything about me. She only liked that I was available to her and was feeling lost and needy at the time. If you like someone you don't judge and criticise them a lot.
Plus, she told huge fabrications about her life. She had few, if any, friends, but she claimed she had 30 friends and the same ones for over 30 years. Nobody could stand to be around her at all, or they were fooled by her, but they didn't stay long. She claimed her home was spotless, but when I visited, there were no curtains or blinds, no carpet and light bulb in the ceiling light sockets. In the kitchen, rubbish in black bin bags was piled up. She gave excuses for all these. I didn't visit her a second time.
After a few weeks, I gave her a wide berth for a year, and then, at the beginning of the pandemic, I sent her a text to call her out. She got someone else to reply to it, and I texted back that I wasn't going to communicate with a third party only with her directly and alone. She still hid behind this other person. Then I blocked her phone number.
Thank you Danish. I divorced myself from my toxic family yesterday and told my mother to stick it wherever the 'ell she wants. T'was waaaaaaay overdue.
Great 👍🏻. Me too did the same.
Be strong!
I'm happy you're free from the bondage of these monsters. Most of us have family who are toxic, borderline psychopaths.
Good for you. Congratulations 🎉
That was my Christmas gift to myself ❤😂
I learned the hard way never to put such questions to a rager. They're always waiting for a reason to go off on you.
If so, then you are allowing them to control you by using your fear of that they may rage fit on you.
You really okay with that?
@safeeffective385 When it's a parent, yes, you don't poke the bear. As an adult, I have zero tolerance. The bear can suck my farts.
@@LiminalDrag Narcy's love to use that "don't make Grandma (or whoever) angry!" silliness as a form of control.
There is no such thing as someone "making"/causing us to be angry. Anyone that suggests otherwise is using that as emotional abuse/controlling behavior over someone.
Anger is a secondary emotion, typically comprised of fear, sadness, embarrassment, rejection, frustration, envy, and so on.
These feelings are 100% on whoever owns them, and have nothing at all to do with the "target" of their anger or whatever.
I get it that many people are conditioned to believe otherwise.
Just say what time you finish being a volunteer & you want to hang around to see the beautiful animals & go on a few rides, I went on 1 & still did it when they had a crazy attack & went off! I was told too that selfies bad God doesn't like it, stop doing it. I've done about 7 since then. He doesn't like photos & he said angrily fuck fb delete it! I said you delete it! He said he just plays a bit of poker. A bit 😂😂all day & even with the ph in his lap at church the whole time! & I say how a friend is going to the show, does lots of fun stuff, what she wants. He said if she stood on the corner & sells herself would you do it?! That's sick & I felt annoyed & tense it was late. Probably thought I wouldn't go 😂 but I didn't eat all day :( regret not getting myself a chips on stick & a nice treat, 1 off & bubble tea
@@Chartastic7806 That's what's up!
Narcissist will deny each and every one of those questions, lie about it and then say you are delusional and need mental help.
My ex-wife, who I just divorced two days ago, said these things to me. Especially that I need mental help.
This!! My baby daddy said this to me last week
I feel like I lost 20 years of my life to that nasty person. In the past I questioned certain things that were contradictory and was given such long winded explanations that left me so confused. I have been away from him for three years now and out of the blue he showed up on my doorstep wanting me to come back. I refused. He tried to tell me he still loved me and missed me blah, blah, blah and said he wanted me to be his friend. I told him no. I hope he leaves me alone as I am much happier without him. I have a protection order against him so if he dares to show his face here again I'm calling the cops.
I have been married for 34 years. I have been a fool for 34 years! I consider myself to be fairly intelligent. Until right now, when I saw your video, and totally had that "light bulb" moment. All these years I thought he was just hard headed, stubborn, controlling... I really need help!
If your husband is similar in nature to Donovan Sharpe and what he professes, I’m not sure if your husband is narcissistic or just understanding of female nature and is accounting for that. They don’t call it the “red pill” for nothing.
You are not the only one, before you think that you are stupid, it's so normal that we meet people that are stubborn, but this is extreme, they know everything better.
It's never too late. Once you know, you go
You are not the only one!
💖✨ be kind to yourself you didn't know till you did. Good luck
Also 'why do you love me?' People say this so much but it's so true. They cannot list reasons no matter what.
"I don't love you - I love you loving ME" would be the proper answer 🙄
If they do its always something tied right back to them."You make me feel great, you're always there for me, you've never let me down."
Love isn't about lists of reasons. It's not an end product of certain acts and qualities. Narcissists themselves usually crave reasons why they are loved, as deep down they don't know love. They don't understand love. But look into it from outside, hungry like empty ghosts.
Narcissists are only familiar with obsession and glingyness, hanging on to their victim to keep themselves from drowning into their own miserable mind.
When asked what he saw good in me....he thought and thought, then said he couldn't see anything
I love the way you love me was the response I received to this question.
Number four is such a big one. Both of my parents constantly lamented how, "We didn't raise you to be this way!" when I differed from them on practically everything. What they never could understand is that in essence they did. I took from them an example of how I never wanted to be, and it has served me well in life.
My narcissistic mother didn't like that I started going to church and my choice of profession (education). She wanted me to work where she did (clerical in a medical office). Both of my siblings ended up working in the same hospital she did. Of course, she "put in a good word for them". Both ended up getting fired for breaking the law while on the job. Me? I enjoyed a 35 year career in education and retired in 2021. I was my mom's target but I fought back harder. Silently, but I did it.
I found that moving countries helped ALOT . It helped to get distance . It helped to get space. And most importantly it helps to find yourself again.
So true, I avoid talking to any of them , if I can and when I do, I'm not listening to anything they say, I do not like to waste my time on someone who is so delusional😮
They cannot stand differences
Yup this describes the narc in my life, sibling. Perfectly. Never stops shocking me as I witness it.
When my husband slipped and said, “I hate you.” I asked him if you hate me much why don’t we separate or divorce because I had enough. Then he changed it up. “I just hate when you do…” “I didn’t mean it like that.” “You’re blowing it up into…” Well he was actively treating me with contempt. So I would ask don’t you think you’d be happier? He literally looked at me and said, “I’m never happy.” Then he started making excuses about why he said it and blaming it on others.
Cheater talk.you are enough.
@@jbrown2908 Yes, he was. It surprised me.
@@jovanjones4275 My narc did not cheat, unless you consider his love for alcohol. He stuck to me like glue. I couldn’t even have close friends or family.
Just leave him. There's no benefits stay with him for your whole life.
@@fairy170 Oh I left about 1yr and 8 months ago. His response was to make it as difficult as possible to get a divorce.
They " answer" with another question. . Again and again and again.
They will follow you from room to room . . The other word that narcs cannot express is the word .. love. Hate is all they know . They will also accuse you , not loving them anymore, but of hateing them.
The word love sticks in their throat.
❤
Thank you. This is a great reminder for the narc survivors that the narcs never cared about anyone. We are confused to think they're just going through something. But here's the thing. Someone can only be saved when they *save themselves.* It's impossible that they care for themselves, because all the hate onto others stems from extreme self-hate/self-destruct. Their grandiose sense of self is only an image.
And they choke on the word love
@@patricialangdon2381 love is unknown to them . They can act it out, but they don't know it precisely.. they will promise you the world, and deliver you nothing.
@@patricialangdon2381 they don't know love. It is alien to themselves..
A narcissist can never be accountable!
Like My girl who goes to a psychologist just SO tell me i AM the narcissist😂
I am like WHAT!? she goes to get told she is good at everything and i'm Bad at everything....
Then when i Say we are over she blackmails me to b again with her....she has Even said that if i don't answer her calls she Will hurt My pets or burn My car......Even when i know she loves and cares for animals....
I believe she is the narcissist one, and her psychologist is a Psycho girl too, but with a license
As someone who always tried to see the best in others (and believe I could be a positive influence and bring them to the "good side"), I finally realized that they choose to be this way and find joy and power in putting others down because they are jealous. I learned to doubt myself to the point where I could barely think for myself after 18 or so years of exposure to this. Now I trust myself and either walk away or go low/no contact if needed.
It’s true100%. I got the exact same response from my husband when I asked him these questions. You nailed it
My ex used to tell me that he trusted me so he could be himself around me. That's why he was sweet to others. Boy what an idiot I was... Ugh
Truth: he was himself around you. The vile meaness, insults, push pull hot cold gaslighting script flipping projection blaming cheating lying...he was totally himself with you. So was mine. When I understood this he made it sooo easy to walk away. This is them at their rotten cores. They show you and no one else what they really are. Be well and may you never meet another of these soulless beasts.
If they change around others, good or bad, always believe their worst
If they act nice around everyone, but talk smack about people behind their backs, then smack will be talked about you behind yours..
Damn my bad for just wanting friends your just being judgemental and assuming everyone treats people like "objects"
No he showed his demons around you, was sweet and amazingly perfect around others looking for a new supply and a strange piece to fulfill himself. I had one exactly like that. I don’t know if yours was prejudiced, mine was and still is. We couldn’t get near anyone of color or nationality, especially black people, that I didn’t hold my breath as I hurriedly walked past because I knew something insulting was coming out of his mouth to them. I actually kept walking, in case anyone pulled a knife or gun on him. Those were the moments I pretended I didn’t know him.
@@darlenesmith5524 yes he was and still is as well, prejudice I mean. I'm a pretty good mix of white and Latino. I'm very white passing though. When he found out that my grandmother was Mexican he freaked out on me. As if that changed who I was. I agree with you that he was demonic with me. I had just been freed from a lifetime of human trafficking and he was the one that picked me up. I didn't know it then but he was so happy that I was so abused and used when he found me. That allowed him to continue his abuse and probably do more than he could have before because I had no idea what was normal. He kept me locked up in a bedroom for years. Then one day he said that he was going to go out on a boat and knew that I was afraid of the water or else he would take me with him. I told him that I could be brave and wanted to do things that were hard for me because I knew I was strong enough to overcome my fears. Not even ten minutes later he didn't want to deal with me anymore and told me I had to leave her was breaking up with me. That was 2021. He would call me and make sure I was still his girl, while telling me about his new one and making sure I was still heartbroken. It was a terrible time in my life.
#5 is a big one for me. I have hunted deer for over 20 years. I took a now-former friend on his first hunt. A week before the season I asked him what questions he had, and he responded that he has already anticipated every possible scenario. I told him that was preposterous numerous times, and he blew it off until I reminded him he is not a god. He conceded he is not a god, but still claimed to know everything anyway. Needless to say he was so awful at hunting that before the trip was even over I decided I would never hunt or hang out with him ever again. Also on #5, if you ask my dad how he is doing, he will drone on for as long as you let him about how bad his health is and how bad you should feel for him even though he can't come up with a single thing he does to improve his health. He just wants to complain.
I dreaded when grocery store clerks asked my mom how she was doing. They’d get nonstop report on the status of her bowel movements (never normal) and where a yeast infection on her body was. Sometimes under boob, in vagina, or on feet.
It seems a narcissist will tell you they love you and miss you when you cut them off but, the moment you allow them back into your life it's back to the same o same o again.
I had a narcissist boss for 10 years finally I found another job went in on the weekend left a note and my key and never talk to him again. Shortly after I moved in with an acquaintance who I thought was cool and he turned out to be a narcissist so I quickly found another place to live and very happy to have dodged a bullet. After 10 years with one of these manipulative confusing demons never again!
Lol😊
They also can’t answer “how would you feel if I did this to you”?
No!! However, how amazing that they can grasp immediately a hurtful, rude, wrong behavior or words from you and condemn you - how dare you or do you know who you are speaking to? Ask them to play fetch or clean up your mess and see the bewilderment! The list of hypocrisy (oh, shhh, unbeknownst to them...how??? I mean, is it a blind spot really for them or are they just comfortable in lying to you because they gaslight and your confusion, frustration, despair fuels their delight!! Sick, twisted and I cannot do anymore of my life like this...
I actually did this to my ex.And he looks like he felt guilty and he said he wouldn't like it very much. It was for talking to the neighbors after they yield at me. I thought he quite talking to them. Turns out he would just do it behind my back and continued to be friends with them when I left Even though he said he hated them, but he would never defend me.And now I've learned.He was actually talking bad about me to them
Answer will be ur gender like u can't do this to me bcz ur a women
How they don't want you to do or be any different than them. I feel I'm on the constant defense to explain why I like a certain food, music, sleep time, exercise type, etc. It's actually every single thing about what I like or how I live is wrong if it's not exactly how he is. Then I argue to defend my point and from what I've read they like to get that reaction out of you. Or he says I have anger issues and it's holding back our relationship. When really I just don't want to be controlled in every minute detail of my life.
It's so messed up when the use basic human needs like food, shelter, and more and Withhold the very things that keep you alive.
We are not crazy. We are having a normal reaction to toxic behavior.
They try to make you feel like you’re crazy! I finally just stopped taking the bait! I wouldn’t react to the foolishness! It takes 2 to argue! I would leave the house & go anywhere besides home with him! I finally left in 2016! Best decision! I LOVE my peace & sanity! They don’t think you’ll leave! When I signed my lease for an apartment, he panicked! Knowledge is key to dealing with a narcissist! If you can’t leave, learn how to deflate them! There’s so much info online now!
Two narcissistic women I met, could tell me at what point in their life they decided to change from the vulnerable person they were to the strong, ruthless person they became to be. They both were hurt because they weren't accepted by the ones they depended on, their parents. So they decided to become this strong, invincible person that didn't care about (the feelings of) others. To be ruthless. They both were okay with being unable to really connect. They gave up on real relationships, didn't believe they would be safe being vulnerable, connecting with another human being. One of those women was able to love a dog. She cared about that animal passionately. He was a safe being to love for he would always love her unconditionally. My narc ex also loved our dog. But he also did use the dog to attract women, showing how 'adorable' he was with his cute dog.
My mother had 3 relationships that would love her unconditionally, her children. Yet those were the 1st relationships she made sure to destroy. We would have given her the definition of unconditional love and then some, all the things she CHOSE to do over the years to me and my sis... it was out of selfishness, greed, and her horrible need to be the "pick me" girl, the need to control everyone around her, and her belief that we were extensions of her and when she realized we were not babies anymore and had our own feelings, emotions, opinions, etc she began her campaigns... she's been running smear campaigns for over 25 years on me and my sis. OVER TWENTY FIVE. 🙄
@@jbrown2908 they don't know their behaviour is narcissistic but it is. Using people, manipulating others to get what they want, feeding on others, don't know who they really are, blocked away every part of themself they think that could be weak, believing in a false self. It sounds like I'm talking about sisters or something. One was a colleague; we were together leading a group of people in a Mental Health setting. I watched her mentally almost destroy a young man in the group and tried to stop her. The other was a friend of my husband we worked together with on a project 2 years later. She was proud to show me how she always got what she wanted without any empathy. I have lived almost 12 years with a narcissistic man in the past, got out and survived. I learned about narcism and now helping people who recover from narcissistic abuse.
@@Ginabina76 that's terrible! I'm so sorry you have to deal with such a person and miss the loving mother you deserve 😢 There has been narcissistic abuse in my family. My mother had to go through that, was traumatised. She didn't know anything about narcissism, never understood why she wasn't good enough, tried her whole life to prove she was allright. Somehow my brother and I were damaged too, had a hard time to be more confident. I believe that's why I as a highly sensitive person got stuck in a relation with a narcissist.
@@jbrown2908 I believe they are. They sound exactly like both my ex-husband and my sister. Both raised by narcs and never got early love. Neither did I, but I made a conscious decision to NOT be like my mom, and I believe my sister and husband made a different decision for survival.....to be like that abusive parent.
The dog never talks back- so the person in question can ‘love’- bc they are never challenged or asked to explain- their ideal partner is mute and adoring.
Worst form of Narcissist is silent treatment. Zero empathy means loving the dead soul
Dude you understand narcissism perfectly
Damaged product of desctructive parenting ! Bang on
I was just about to question number 5, especially for covert narcissists and you made the exception. In that case, I've seen them blame the other person and all of their actions are excused because of that.
Thank you for your brilliant observations and advice Danish. Spot on!
FANTASTIC. I appreciate your UA-cams very much.... i've got a Narci Father (and my Mother is trauma bonded to him, plus my Mother is definately Stockholm Syndromed as well)....... so I get it from both of them... and some of the things that go on around here are sickening, and the hypocracy is sickening. I've seen some of your videos where you describe how your Father was.... horrible, mine is super bad, but in a different way than yours... I really don't know how you turned pout so well adjusted, and seemingly mentally healthy. I really like your channel here. I think you're doing a lot of people, a lot of good. Thank you.
Great video Danish. My partner wouldn't be able to answer any of these questions. I just discovered your channel, and for that I'm grateful that you're sharing tactics I can deploy for my survival and sanity. I unwittingly became ensnared within her trap with no current means of escape. However, thanks to videos like yours I've gained clarity and methods of self-preservation. Thank you.
Btw, your rip-curl hairstyle is awesome and makes me wish I could go surfing.
Keep on doing what you're doing brother. I appreciate you.
Number 3 ! I saw it in my husband. He creates scenarios in his mind and I can see that deep inside he knows these are not real, but acts like its a real thing and most of the times gets angry in relation of these scenarios. Mind blowing !
Hi, I'm new here. I was found out what is Narcis from other channels and find out this channel are much more helpful, detailed, and frequently upload new video.
I am still living with my N-mother and being stuck in the household being 30 over year in my life.
Last argument, I was lost my cool with my mum that not talking any sense and I suppose not to quarrel with her. That time, I'm realising that Narcis's argument not make any progress and improvements instead they are making situations worser and worser. The heat 🔥 of the argument is keep went up they don't know how to keep it cool ❄️ and understanding. It is pointless to everyday argument that not making any sense. And I know that this is their source of energy. "If I'm wrestling with a pig, I am the one who gets dirty."
I used to say, "I love you" and meant it. She would always say, "Love you." I became aware of the fact that she couldnt say, "I, love you." Because she didnt.
That's such a good point 👏 You will text them a long, sweet text and you'll get a short text that doesn't seem personalized at all. My mom says, "Luv u 2 dot"
My mom always said" Luv ya" That's not love.
@@ChosenOne1967 I agree. It's not. I always thought it didn't feel like she loved me. Her purpose of telling me that was my manipulation I suppose
@@ChosenOne1967 Never heard my mother say "I love you" she's a monster and her sisters are evil demons aswell.
I've sd it for 17 years. 13 of those years I've gotten nothing but mute 🤐
Everything here resonated, especially the aspect of weaponizing parts of their acknowledged past, in #5. Major time suck vortex, trying to advocate for these folks (cuz stupid us, we thought they loved us), saying things like, "why don't you talk to the therapist who is prescribing you your meds MORE than the once per year check in -- y'know, don't JUST treat them as a pill gatekeeper, TALK TO THEM." OH that's right, it's everyone ELSE who is the problem, ESPECIALLY if they share your last name... Okay, got it. 😡😤
All those questions (and quasi-answers) are spot on!
"What do YOU bring to table?"
They never know what to say. Because of course, they bring nothing. Maybe they'll say they bring love and affection, that they bring good looks, but it's never concrete. They never talk about bringing value, adding to the relationship, growth (personal and to others). It's always something along the lines of 'look what I allow you to do for me'.
My ex asks me what I bring to table... I'm trying to figure out who is the narcissists here.
Some do not answer any questions or even say anything. Selective mutes.
Exactly!! My narc would stare, pull an ugly face and walk away.
Silent treatment.
Yep!! They think the silent treatment is some kind of proof of their high self worth instead of seeing it for the childish tantrum it actually is
Mine
They are so above questions like that in their petty little minds.😂
They always give their version of this and they are able to convince others in their story of perfect human
Yup mine
Smear campaigns
Huh
Thank you the last part of this video was exactly what my ex husband would talk about and how his parents never loved him so that is why he does what he does. I am so grateful that I don’t have to listen to his stories anymore.
OMG! Each and every point is bang on.
I always got accused of challenging my narc husband if I had my own opinion that differed from his opinions that he claimed to be “facts”. God forbid I had a different opinion. I hated when he would always say “that’s a fact” referring to his opinion. These narcs are so delusional.
One Narcissist told me often, 'you are fooling yourself.' Another answered all questions with, 'maybe somehow.'
All the best Danish. You brought in some explanations, for their behavior. It is truly hard to understand their lack of love decision, to reply to their childhood trauma, with a lifetime of deceit, towards others, but also themselves. You confirmed something for me. Thank you. ❤
Long before I knew anything about NDP, there was one catchy phrase that was repeated in my head over and over again and that was “ love me or leave me”. I heard that in a movie and it instantly resonated with me in a subconscious level!
Now I know why all the narcissists in my life seemed to hate me but wouldn’t let me go!
Npd
A Legend in their own mind
Your describe my parents!! It’s taken me 10 years to understands how a narcissist could take charge of your life!
Thank you so much. Whatever you say, it is true.
My ex husband, when we began to live together, never talked about his childhood. One time I asked him frankly why he never shared these memories whith me, it was only 2 or 3 months we were living together far from my family and it was already me talking to a wall :"oh, it's not very interesting". I was afraid to pain him so I didn't ask anymore.
I was so young, I didn't even know that narcissists existed ! It took me more than 20 years to connect the dots
i was his puppet. he literally used to say “i own you” “you’re nothing without me or before me” but all of them i resonate with
That's true Danish, my narcissistic ex used to feel very challenged when you have a different perspective that theirs! He will say" so you are challenging me"
This is so True....
Yes. He is the ultimate covert narcissist.... He even lies to his therapist
I left my mom last 2022 and i felt the freedom ive never felt before.
Be strong.
I will do the same thing in 2 months I had enough the last 14 years living with my naskisist abusive parents
Man I sure said I’m not gonna keep letting you pull my strings. Dam on point with the knowledge on a narcissist I feel like I’ve talked to you bout my relationship 😂 keep it up 👍
I am suffering all those problems in my body whatever you told about the diseases in your previous videos
Actually, I asked my now ex-husband why he was so much nicer to our neighbours we rarely see than he is to me and he said "Because I already HAVE you". I was shocked. I told him "You don't HAVE me!". I'm not an object. And he also started gaslighting me, trying to convince me his daughter had not been incredibly rude to me. I persisted and presented proof and he finally admitted that my version was correct but that his version was how he WANTED it to have been. It's like he felt free to substitute truth reality with his version of reality and that was ok if that's his preferred version.
Yeeesss!!
It's no use ,there impossible, you will never win
SPOT ON! A few months ago I suggested to my covert narcissistic mother that she go to therapy. I kept hearing over and over again how her mother was abusive to her when she was a child over 60 years ago. I said she might benefit from therapy. She got mad actually. Thing is, my sister (favored one) suggested it too. So mom went. She keeps saying “ I go but there’s really nothing to discuss. The past is in the past” 😳 and she wants to stop going but her therapist suggested she keep coming. So my mother said to me “I think she just likes visiting with me” 😳🙄 OMG! She’s also been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. Probably therapy won’t help. You cannot change what you don’t acknowledge. But at least she doesn’t talk to ME all the time about my grandmother. I loved my grandmother and even named my daughter after her so it was hard to listen to all the stuff mom kept saying about her. And I told my mother so! I asked her to stop dumping all that on me. She finally has. It’s amazing to me how your videos are so spot on with how my mother is. Thank you! I have learned so much! I can now set clear boundaries and stick to them. If she doesn’t like it oh well!
@@caroleminke6116 I have only been watching and learning about covert narcissism for the last 8 months or so. Last summer is when I REALLY realized that is what my mother is. And then, my abusive childhood made more sense. I am not familiar with “gray rock”. Can you explain a bit more for me please? Going no contact seems impossible right now 😞
@@aleigha9141 I have a question to You. if you suppose that Your mother is a narcissist do you have an idea why? how? what are the reasons?
@@aleigha9141 See, if your grandmother was a covert narcissist, she could have abused mother, which you have not seen and witnessed. As well possible that your mother is not a narcissist but have a different personality problem (f.ex. borderline as you already mentioned) Because a child dont become a narcissist just out of nowhere. Even if a person has a character tendency to manipulativeness and is highly disposed, she has to have a serious trigger in addition in childhood to become a narcissist.
So its serious and I suppose you should investigate and think of it deeply and carefully🤔
You see, this place does not stick together for me - a wonderful mother (your grandmother) and a toxic daughter(your mother). There is a reason somewhere or its something another or antagonistic incompatible characters..
@@zandatee I should clarify that I DO believe my grandmother was abusive to my mother (and her siblings) as my aunt has confirmed this. My mother grew up in a very dysfunctional household and family with other narcissists. One being her aunt, which was like a 2nd mother to her. I don’t doubt that my grandmother abused my mother. She did. But, that wasn’t MY experience with my grandmother of course. I also believe my grandmother was narcissistic. We know that children usually love them and they treat them well. Especially since my sister and I were my grandfather’s favorites. 🤷♀️ So, while what my mother was saying was probably at least partly true about my grandmother (mom lies so who knows really), it wasn’t my experience with Grandma and I heard it every time she was around me. I told her that it would be like me sitting my kids down and explaining the abuse that I endured growing up (I was raised in an alcoholic abusive household) and talking about all that she did. I wouldn’t do that bc that is not THEIR experience with her. My mother has always has mental health issues and has been in and out of hospitals all my life. She’s had different diagnoses over the years but the constant has been BPD. I always put her behavior whether it be what she says or things she does to me to her mental health issues and not her being a narcissist. Well, last summer, she did things that were so far out of line that just couldn’t be ignored or put to the fact she struggles with mental health problems. This time it involved my grown daughter at her wedding. Spotlight wasn’t on mom of course. Right before my daughter was to walk down the aisle my mom has an issue with seating. She’s prepared to full on make a scene unless I do something right then 😡. That is when I realized that YES she is also a narcissist. I also have mental health issues (depression, acute anxiety disorder, bipolar disorder) and have been in therapy for over 20 years to work through all I endured during my whole childhood AND things that were still continuing with her. Once it became crystal clear to me that she is in fact a narcissist (and looking at the family she grew up with I can see why) I have been learning all I can on how to deal with this. It only happened less than a year ago. I’m 51 and it took this long to admit that it was more than her mental health issues that made her behave the way she does. I am trying to navigate this relationship with her now while protecting myself bc going no contact isn’t really an option that I can see at this time. I was the scapegoat kid. Looking back over my life knowing what I know now, things make sense. They’ve fallen into place. Once you see the narcissist for who they are, you cannot unsee it. I had to work with my therapist to really wrap my head around it bc I excused her behavior all my life as she can’t help it bc of her mental health. But, she can. Thank you for your comment. I can see where you’re coming from with the information in the first comment I made. There wasn’t alot of context. But, I have already done what you suggested (which is a great suggestion btw). And the conclusion is the same. She is a covert narcissist. Admitting that was MY first step in healing. These videos, and others comments, really help in the healing process. Blessings ❤️🙏
@@aleigha9141 I had the situation - mother - a covert narcissist. Her mother - not a narcissist. So I figured out that her father has been the perfectionist narcissist. I never met him, but have heard some information bits, from them i counted out this. Mother was disrespectful and abusive towards grandmother and spoke of her -I am quite sure- narcissist father as a God. Same as grandmother did. And the abused people if they stay unawakened and unaware stay in this uncritical glorification mode of The Abuser.
with a Covert narc NPD its all so veiled and sometimes turned around and looking all opposite. so have to dig to the deepest roots while its nothing more left to dig.
Also what made me think of Your story - mother is now concentrating on getting her narc supply from grandchildren. While they are small covert narcissists thrive on their attention and admiration and are greedy to grab it all and fight any competition un their attention - she competes with childrens mother and is so obsessed with whom they love more. She is obsessed to be The most loved person. Narcs are projecting so she sometimes cannot hold herself and was bragging to me before I went no contact. It sounded . bad.
She is taking away this joy - be with brothers children - as I just feel - she is deadly jealous and I honestly fear mother and want to escape the dirty fight so I back off. Better leave it all to her. I have a feeling like she was a crocodile who wants to drab it all and eat up whole Earth and Sun and everything. Like so greedy grabbing her narc supply...
So here you have a Covert narcissist grandmothers behavior spec. when children are small.
BUT she has the favourite grandchild and the neglected one even before they had born can say. Because she decides it by gender regardless anything.
I will re read Your comment tomorrow for the second time as i am too tired now.
Thank you so much from the core of my heart 💞💖💕❤️
It is soooo sad people can be like this…it for sure has to be they have evil demonic entities inside of them for sure. So horrible people can treat people like this! Just know everyone here that you are valuable and Jesus loves you very much. We care here also.
Hugs from JANESVILLE, WISCONSIN USA
I agree. Lack of a relationship with God and demonic influence are definite factions. Blessings to All. 🙏🏼🤍🦅
@@christinalw19 God bless you and your loved ones so very much and thank you for your comment that you posted.
I though thT before
One of my biggest hurts is constantly being accused of being a narcissist by my ex wife. With that said i must not be one if I'm here.
If you ever, even once, put your own needs first you will be labeled selfish and mean by a narc. I was raised by 2 of them.
If I could afford living expenses I'd leave with the quickness.
Only reason why I’m staying at this point too. It sucks
Yes! I had 2 strokes last year and then a surgery to correct the rare issue and am now stuck - it took these traumas and me no longer being “perfect “ in his eyes to show me the truth. I have no ability to afford or not enough mental ability to do it all on my own. 😩
That's the reason I stayed so long but I'm working on my issue
🙏🙏🙏
Come to live with me
My sister, a psychotherapist, kept saying all that to me, it's called GASLIGHTING, she looked down her nose at me. What she accused me of , I wasn't doing. I started doubting myself!???????
Wow, that sounds absolutely the same as what I experienced and am experiencing. The study thing also fits.😮😂
I'm sorry you have to endure something like that. It's humiliating.
I always feel very small in her presence and everything has to be according to her nose.
Nothing can be done to please her. I've also been told that about her by others.
"No, you're just imagining things."
She still has so much power over me. Mental torture over and over again.
I also don't know if her "love you" without "I" is meant seriously.
I'm even afraid when writing these lines whether I'm just imagining it or especially that she might read it. Then my judgment is questioned again rather than her questioning herself. Of course, I'm the younger sister who still has to "practice a lot", who "disappoints" her, the "sieve brain", etc.pp.
😢
I don't know if I've ever heard a sorry from her. But why apologize when you always do everything right.
Remember people if you do happen to run into the narcissists flying monkeys you do not have to explain yourself if they know who you are in real time why worry you know who you are already. Keep it moving and do you.💯
Yes it's all about one upmanship!
Danish, as usual, your onto something with these questions. I found the theories of narcissistic snap shotting, narcissistic fantasy defense and narcissistic introjects get into the roots of what you’re talking about here. Admittedly I am a “why” kind of person, even though the guy that wrote these theories is not a great guy, understanding these theories made people high in narcissistic traits nearly completely predictable, for me anyway.
I was wondering in the past 20 years why is my husband behave in such a way.Nowadays I even decided to file case against him.As I have to support my children I have no other option but only to stay back.I am a government employ and have salary .Still if I am suffering this much what will be the state of a person who is not so much economically sound.I found this informations very valuable.Thankyou .
1.) I act nicely because that's how it should be. Because you should treat others how you would want to be treated. I don't like being treated poorly, so I don't treat others poorly.
2.) I don't have much of an answer other than that I just can't leave. Because leaving my current situation would put me in an even worse situation. I absolutely don't want to be here. Because I feel stuck where I'm at.
3.) My opinions have no more weight than anyone else. I just base my opinions on educated guesses or facts that I know. There just isn't anyone who has challenged my beliefs in a way for me to change mine. With no solid proof or evidence.
4.) I'm not threatened by any differences. Because everyone is their own person.
5.) My entire life has been pain. Not always of the physical kind. But it greatly contributes to it. I push through it because it doesn't do anything for me to be a burden to others. I'm not going to glorify it like I've had the worst life ever. But it wasn't all sunshine and roses
Danish, I heard all the above from the narcissist over here. I'm just amazed how all narcissists got the same pattern of narcissistic attitude. That really makes me wonder. 😊
It’s demonic! Why do people with compassion have the same patterns?
I can spot them a mile away. Thank God! Unfortunately, others don't so they get away with the victimization, smear campaign, gaslighting. It's beyond frustrating! And of course, they want to destroy me bcs I call them out!!!
Thanks a lot Danish. You helped me to put the whole lot of trauma which I have faced over the couple of decades in a nutshell. God bless you💐
I'm wondering if there's a risk when asking a narcissistic parent question number 5 that they'll blame the scapegoat child who is asking. I'm not sure. I recall during a conflict once my mum told me that the one time she was passing through town (that I'd told her in advance that I wasn't available to see her) was the worst day of her entire life. But generally she's the type to deny any pain and make excuses for her own upbringing, exactly as you mention. I've never asked either of my parents this directly so I've no idea how they'd respond. I'm more or less completely no contact now so not much opportunity. I think question number 1 would be the most disarming with both parents. Useful info!
Never tell anyone your fears or triggers
If they have NPD or BPD they will eventually use it against you to cause the worst pain imaginable
That happened to me. She spent an entire Thanksgiving dinner with an audience of people who knew me (brother, sister in law, etc ) saying horrible mean and unbelievable things about me. I hadn't been in touch with her in years, but started having nightmares of her again.
Yup, correct. Told mom to stop coming up behind me while I was vacuuming. Now she does it for shits and giggles to get one up on me.
You have such wisdom. Thank you.
I always said that this is my mind not yours and if I was supposed to be controlled I would’ve come with a remote lol😂little did ik I was doing right
The question about past pain is the best. Their indifference intensity would show you how painful it was.
Ever since I’ve seen Danish videos I’ve learned and came to realize I was in the narcissist abusive bubble not relationship in a bubble that it was so difficult to get out or break but I did it now I’m trying to survive to keep away from him because I think these people are so stubborn in their heads and don’t give up when you leave the relationship
Man he sure said why do you hate me? What??? Outta no where. Wow
This video was very helpful. Thank you so much, Danish. I've wondered about some of the issues you raise & you have put them to rest.
Best wishes. 😊
Thanks, Danish! You have great insights and ways of describing narcissism 👏😊
Hi, I think this. You are teaching people about narcissist. I am a old angel. I have no problem with they run from me as they should, but I don't know, but all narcissists are not the same. Some of them do what you're talking about.Not all thank you god bless❤
This is such a redundant comment. Smdh.
Thank you so much for giving us insights. So much relatable.
How do you know this? You understand this on such a deep level. I am so amazed. You just explained what I experienced but I didn’t understand - I had no words to describe this. Thank you
True you have to be what they want you to be your a trophy dance when they pull your strings
As long as you stick around you feed their supply. They live off of someone else’s supply. And when you no longer serve them and give them that they will go look for more in otters
These kind of people are such a pain if one is stuck to them.
I also got "Do it need a reason to love you" as a reply to why do you love me .......Unconditional love doesn't mean being foolish yall , someone will self respect will not be to the streets like that .
My husband could answer all but #4 Why are you so threatened by my differences? I had asked him something to that extent and he said he didn’t know. He was generally a covert vulnerable narcissist, so if someone could be blamed for his actions then he had an answer. He said for #1 that strangers hasn’t actively tried to hurt him like the people he knew.
A question for you Danish. Have you forgiven the narc? If you haven’t then you will never heal from the abuse, it’s pretence. If you have great 👍🏼 Talking from my own experience of living with 2 narcs. One being my father and the other the ex-husband. Forgiveness is the key that unlocks you from the prison of hate, bitterness and resentment from the trauma you experienced. It is truly liberating 🙌🏼🙌🏼 I am enjoying your videos.
Mine likes to tell me what I can and can’t wear what I should and shouldn’t eat points out flaws making sure to destroy your self-esteem and if they don’t like my hair, they’ll make sure to dismantle it and do something different to it
So true I wish I knew this when he was alive
Your explanation made me remind about my butcher narcissist father in law because of whom his son got divorced once and now I and my baby are separated from my husband because my father in law
OMG question number 2 just blew me off
I would always make him that question because that’s how I felt, if he heate me so much, why are you with me, Wow and yes I would never get an answer back the Only thing I would from him was this scary look like if he was going to punch me and his hand he would make a tight 🤛 🤜 Wow
I’m so glad I’m out of that relationship Thank God
Yes!!!
Now I know the answered.
Thanks mate 😂