I still feel bad for the narcissists. I know to stay away but when I saw the mask fall and then I looked into the eyes of a little hurt girls that’s scared of the world and everything in it. Her primary caregiver was never there and betrayed her. She was this beautiful little child. It fucking broke my heart. That’s what hurt me the most. That’s all she is. She had to pretend so she doesn’t kill herself. She had no other way of coping. I have kids with her, I just learned her condition and I know how to operate in those terms. I understand her better then her. She will test me and it’s good, if I fail it means I’m not healed fully. I’m not afraid of the narcissist. It’s all smoke and mirrors. It hurts to know such pain exists. I’m sorry for all the horrible parents out there. I’m learning all of this so my 2 sons can have a chance at life.
We could swap lives and not know the difference. I feel you and your struggles deeply. Thank you for posting this comment. It's wonderful to read exactly what I am feeling in my heart. I also have 2 kids with my wife and I feel the same compassion. But I'm still working on not taking it personally and the tests. Sometimes feeling lonely.
I ache for my beautiful mother, an abused little girl who ended her life 95 years later to escape the memories of her abusers. I protect myself and I ache, both.
so accurate...the part in which he describes the crisis in one's life and that combined with the mother"s voice, which only adds more discomfort...disheartening.
I have worked with a therapist for a long time that used TA. It has helped me to become a contributing member to society. I "hear" the adult, critical and nurturing parent, free and adaptive child in your explanation in this video. I also recognize "them" in your 14 shadows. Thank you for the validation Sam.
Sam, I think this is some of your best work to date. At this point your contribution is truly on par with Kernberg, Kohut, Horney and the other giants in the psychoanalytic tradition.
Wow! The mention of Kafka’s The Trial made me feel the void of the main character. I find that piece of art a one of a lifetime experience. The incapability of finding the reason of the charge in endless corridors and the encounter with all the cold characters as well as the recognition of his own, hopeless coldness is the best expression of the void. Thank you for mentioning it. Your teachings related to literature and philosophy are priceless.
When i faced external mortification, narcissist mother couldn't lack behind,she caused both external and internal mortification,,wronggg when you are dedicated to living seeing pain in your child you are a criminal you are a killer..she is my number one enemy meaning even if i heard she is on bed on her last days i couldnot care less...nothing makes me happy that i will not be around her in her misery life goneee..
Thank you Samaharishi. This one was a particularly compelling & useful discourse. Really appreciate you leaving the door ajar on this one. Exquisitely delivered too.
The victim identity engenders a sense of entitlement and justifies whatever deceit they engage in to get what they want or to spoil the wellbeing of an envied other. So they cannot afford any kind of integrity. Or conscience.
I have a question. From what I understand from this presentation and other presentations by you, is that there is a direct connection between a trauma response and narcissism. Abuse is the external object and many may experience abuse, for example my sister and I who were both hit by my mother on many occasions solely because of her mood, but only certain people respond with trauma, which is, in itself, a narcissistic response (and is, as such, devoid of empathy for the person committing the abuse, my mother). My sister, as far as I understand, never had a trauma response. She took everything in stride and even told me it's best to be quiet, it will pass. My sister lives a normal, happy life, married, 3 children, good relationship with my mom, dad. Me, I'm still struggling to deal with any harsh word from anyone without feeling like I'm internally collapsing. It goes against my image to act like a victim, but deep down I honestly feel like a victim a lot. Now I've learned from you that this is a sign of narcissism. (Made me cry, lol, in relief more than anything else, so thank you) My question is this: I've heard you say that narcissism DEVELOPS, through the abuse and the trauma response merging (internal and external object) so would it be sequentially wrong to suppose that narcissism was there BEFORE the abuse, and was released by the abuse? Rather than the narcissism developing AT THE POINT of a abuse? If the main difference between me and my sister is our response to abuse, then could the main difference be a preexisting condition of narcissism in me?
@@pedrohoracioaguilardiaz3288 I don't think you understood her question. She is stating that the contents of the video imply that certain individuals have a narcissistic response to external abuse, and as a result become traumatized. She is then comparing that to past descriptions of narcissism and how it can DEVELOP in individuals (as a result of abuse). I too have the same question at the original poster but I'll have to rewatch and see if I can pick up on any nuances..
the words of Isaiah 53 ~~ re. the Suffering Servant ~~ played a huge role in my formation. Afterwards I sought to follow 'the Way of the Cross." Contemplative Catholicism is replete with dangers of falling into TIV ~~ forming a new self and believing it is bound up in "Christ crucified." All these concepts made for a very prolonged extraction. "Nothingness" I might add, I equally used as a renewed construct of personality. "Nothingness" becomes the new God for awhile, after years living in a Zen Buddhist monastery.
Is it right to assume narcissist have the imposter syndrome and their false self the dunning kruger effect? Which is a contradiction and that's how I feel narcissist are a contradiction in many ways
makes sense, is the solution then partial forgetting or having an "adult" dialogue with the inner voices? I don´t know if you heard about how Scientology operates or if that´s interesting, i am neither member nor would I ever recommend it, just curious, it is a system that borrowed from various philosophies and psychology, loosing tones of money one goes up the bridge to happiness and finds out hidden secrets, basically these voices are first said to come from the unconciess, they call it reactive mind and that has to be removed and healed via auditing, there form of torture talk, then at a certain point these voices are described as leftover beings from a former planet that are now attached to oneself and these need to be talked to and then at one of the highest stages followers are told that this was never the case and that the voices are just us and we can therefore now heal ourselves, it´s overall a destructive system, just popped to mind hearing this, I´m not sure if you suggested forgetting as the solution or if this is when it goes too far, maybe the solution is that simple.
I was a scientolgist breiflly their antisocial personality and social personality was gold nor are they bad horrible people at least not the ones I met it's just an expensive and time consuming religion I stopped attending due to some of them being very rude too faced and obviously it's a moneycult 💸
I have no idea what is "spiritual" and neither do you. I don't use ill-defined words commonly deployed by con artist "gurus" and their brain dead followers.
Give this Man a Nobel prize now! 🤓
The more I listen to him and get to know about people now .........the more I prefer now to distance myself from all in the rest of my life 😳
He’s gotten me through the past three years, but he’s on another level.
I tell everybody about you! -You saved me. 💜
🍃🍁🍃
I still feel bad for the narcissists. I know to stay away but when I saw the mask fall and then I looked into the eyes of a little hurt girls that’s scared of the world and everything in it. Her primary caregiver was never there and betrayed her. She was this beautiful little child. It fucking broke my heart. That’s what hurt me the most. That’s all she is. She had to pretend so she doesn’t kill herself. She had no other way of coping. I have kids with her, I just learned her condition and I know how to operate in those terms. I understand her better then her. She will test me and it’s good, if I fail it means I’m not healed fully. I’m not afraid of the narcissist. It’s all smoke and mirrors. It hurts to know such pain exists. I’m sorry for all the horrible parents out there. I’m learning all of this so my 2 sons can have a chance at life.
We could swap lives and not know the difference. I feel you and your struggles deeply.
Thank you for posting this comment. It's wonderful to read exactly what I am feeling in my heart.
I also have 2 kids with my wife and I feel the same compassion. But I'm still working on not taking it personally and the tests. Sometimes feeling lonely.
I ache for my beautiful mother, an abused little girl who ended her life 95 years later to escape the memories of her abusers. I protect myself and I ache, both.
so accurate...the part in which he describes the crisis in one's life and that combined with the mother"s voice, which only adds more discomfort...disheartening.
I have worked with a therapist for a long time that used TA. It has helped me to become a contributing member to society. I "hear" the adult, critical and nurturing parent, free and adaptive child in your explanation in this video. I also recognize "them" in your 14 shadows. Thank you for the validation Sam.
Sam, I think this is some of your best work to date. At this point your contribution is truly on par with Kernberg, Kohut, Horney and the other giants in the psychoanalytic tradition.
Yes
Wow! The mention of Kafka’s The Trial made me feel the void of the main character. I find that piece of art a one of a lifetime experience. The incapability of finding the reason of the charge in endless corridors and the encounter with all the cold characters as well as the recognition of his own, hopeless coldness is the best expression of the void. Thank you for mentioning it. Your teachings related to literature and philosophy are priceless.
We are the World is a psychotic song.
This is the hardest step. Inner dialogue very sadistic.
You're a wonderful teacher Professor!
Sam is out only hope to not fail again. Thank Sam, seriously. You are a fucking legend
This explains so well. Thank you Dr Vaknin.
When i faced external mortification, narcissist mother couldn't lack behind,she caused both external and internal mortification,,wronggg when you are dedicated to living seeing pain in your child you are a criminal you are a killer..she is my number one enemy meaning even if i heard she is on bed on her last days i couldnot care less...nothing makes me happy that i will not be around her in her misery life goneee..
Sam thank you for helping me to understand. Thank you very much. I needed to hear this. I was not able to explain it to my self and nobody was...
8:14 This reminds me of the activist entrepreneur played by Tilda Swinton in the movie, “Okja.”
Thank you Doc.cogent as always.
This is pure gold, thank you again! :D
Thank you Samaharishi. This one was a particularly compelling & useful discourse. Really appreciate you leaving the door ajar on this one. Exquisitely delivered too.
Incredible! Thank you for your very precious effort and energy you put in to explain all these fundemental and difficult subjects. ❤️❤️
Brilliant!! Thanks. That's a great explanation.
Wonderful analysis. Thank you for that 🎉
The victim identity engenders a sense of entitlement and justifies whatever deceit they engage in to get what they want or to spoil the wellbeing of an envied other. So they cannot afford any kind of integrity. Or conscience.
I have a question. From what I understand from this presentation and other presentations by you, is that there is a direct connection between a trauma response and narcissism. Abuse is the external object and many may experience abuse, for example my sister and I who were both hit by my mother on many occasions solely because of her mood, but only certain people respond with trauma, which is, in itself, a narcissistic response (and is, as such, devoid of empathy for the person committing the abuse, my mother). My sister, as far as I understand, never had a trauma response. She took everything in stride and even told me it's best to be quiet, it will pass. My sister lives a normal, happy life, married, 3 children, good relationship with my mom, dad. Me, I'm still struggling to deal with any harsh word from anyone without feeling like I'm internally collapsing. It goes against my image to act like a victim, but deep down I honestly feel like a victim a lot. Now I've learned from you that this is a sign of narcissism. (Made me cry, lol, in relief more than anything else, so thank you) My question is this:
I've heard you say that narcissism DEVELOPS, through the abuse and the trauma response merging (internal and external object) so would it be sequentially wrong to suppose that narcissism was there BEFORE the abuse, and was released by the abuse? Rather than the narcissism developing AT THE POINT of a abuse? If the main difference between me and my sister is our response to abuse, then could the main difference be a preexisting condition of narcissism in me?
@@pedrohoracioaguilardiaz3288 I don't think you understood her question. She is stating that the contents of the video imply that certain individuals have a narcissistic response to external abuse, and as a result become traumatized. She is then comparing that to past descriptions of narcissism and how it can DEVELOP in individuals (as a result of abuse). I too have the same question at the original poster but I'll have to rewatch and see if I can pick up on any nuances..
the words of Isaiah 53 ~~ re. the Suffering Servant ~~ played a huge role in my formation. Afterwards I sought to follow 'the Way of the Cross." Contemplative Catholicism is replete with dangers of falling into TIV ~~ forming a new self and believing it is bound up in "Christ crucified." All these concepts made for a very prolonged extraction. "Nothingness" I might add, I equally used as a renewed construct of personality. "Nothingness" becomes the new God for awhile, after years living in a Zen Buddhist monastery.
We have every thing and we have nothing
Great baby noise at 1:04:35
Lmaooo
Hi Sam, what category does the shadow fall in your description?
Do the internal objects have feelings and emotions attached to them and how does this affect the dialogue?
Is it right to assume narcissist have the imposter syndrome and their false self the dunning kruger effect? Which is a contradiction and that's how I feel narcissist are a contradiction in many ways
Is daydreaming a form of psychosis?
No. But it is a form of dissociation.
100 likes ❤
How to stop ruminating, please???
Follow richard grannon
makes sense, is the solution then partial forgetting or having an "adult" dialogue with the inner voices? I don´t know if you heard about how Scientology operates or if that´s interesting, i am neither member nor would I ever recommend it, just curious, it is a system that borrowed from various philosophies and psychology, loosing tones of money one goes up the bridge to happiness and finds out hidden secrets, basically these voices are first said to come from the unconciess, they call it reactive mind and that has to be removed and healed via auditing, there form of torture talk, then at a certain point these voices are described as leftover beings from a former planet that are now attached to oneself and these need to be talked to and then at one of the highest stages followers are told that this was never the case and that the voices are just us and we can therefore now heal ourselves, it´s overall a destructive system, just popped to mind hearing this, I´m not sure if you suggested forgetting as the solution or if this is when it goes too far, maybe the solution is that simple.
I was a scientolgist breiflly their antisocial personality and social personality was gold nor are they bad horrible people at least not the ones I met it's just an expensive and time consuming religion I stopped attending due to some of them being very rude too faced and obviously it's a moneycult 💸
Constellated self is that what others name as the higher self, the oneness? (if you see it from a spiritual point of view)
I have no idea what is "spiritual" and neither do you. I don't use ill-defined words commonly deployed by con artist "gurus" and their brain dead followers.
So we're going to split anyway to get to nothingness? This is the solution to the victim complex?