I think erotomania and love addiction are the most shameful problems and even tabu, it is great that they are finally being talked about. I thought I was alone in this, I have been overly ”romantic” all my life from the little girl. It is exhausting when you grow old and want to be desperately free of it. It has ruined my life in so many levels, I have not have had time to develop myself fully as indenpendent person without constant heart break and depression. It is too shameful to talk about in group therapy, only form available at my home town.
And this tells a lot on how narcissists turns their "victims" into babies. Before individuating and separating from the mother, they get you back to that state, it becomes like an addiction, a dopamine hit, an obsession, cuz now you are idealized and perfect, and when they don't give you closer, you keep on choosing to attract the same person in other people, because the cycle was never taken towards closer, they suck you in, and they throw you away, just like a baby, with no attention, you feel lost and in pain, grieving for mommy, grieving for yourself, why yourself? Because narcissism is about absence, there's nobody home, you only fell in love with an idealized image of yourself. How to heal? Well, LOVE YOURSELF. Self love, reparent yourself, be your own mom and dad, give yourself unconditional love, not the love of the narcissist, essentially, it's the love of a true strong person, with a solid core of identity, you got all the answers you need, you know exactly what to do. Love is a mental illness, and if you dig deeper, you can compare it to drug addict for example, when you know it's bad for you, how bad? It's killing your spirit, just like the word alcohol, it means dark spirit taking over your consciousness, destroying your roots, making you vulnerable to a fantasy, that will never come true, remember? The very first moment when your guts told you, that this addictionship will destroy you, in other words, it will suppress your true voice, your self critique, your will and how you perceive reality. It may have was at first glance, sexual Attraction, but don't confuse, "love" which is mental illness with casual sex, where you get to experience an orgasmic joy at some point, because you like the person's sexual appeal, maybe he's handsome, or he's the prince charming from Disney movies, or that guy you're thinking about from pornhub. Don't even confuse both of these with intimacy, intimacy, requires respect, boundaries, humanitarian couples if you wish, where you get to empathize with your partner, and allow each other's true authentic voice to speak, and express itself, with compassion, you both create a healthy family dynamic system, and this kind of intimacy has its own time, when you grow older, 25/30 maybe, because before that period of time, you'll have to focus on building yourself, loving yourself, taking care of all of who you are, understand yourself, you got a voice, strong and powerful, roar like a lion, and set yourself free, neediness is not for the strong, but for the weak, now it's time to quit this addiction, and come back home, to you, only you, nobody else. Love yourself ♥️
Ok. I dont know if I'm sociopath or not, but I think I'm smart enough for keep listening and learning of your mesmerizing knowledge and wisdom...because I need it !!!!👐❤🇦🇷
I love this new channel because I've been following him since 2011 originally to understand Narcassit but evolved to try to fix myself. I ran across Richard Grannon to try to Amp up healing after having felt I knew enough of Narcassit and my own Disordered mind so I was ecstatic to see both on this channel putting everything more completely together for me at once. So amazing to see his own research evolve and see what this research can do for humanity if we all just heard and applied this wisdom.🌺
You got another subscriber , me. I am binge watching your videos with great interest , thank you for sharing your insights and knowledge and not putting up with idiots, that is the part I like the most
Oh dear, I've spent years learning from many teachers on several topics pinged here, but never have I come across a lecture on this topic, AND which really resonated uncomfortably much with me and the myriad stories of my "loves" over my life. She's the most extreme kind of people pleaser .. extreme emotional disregulation .. fantasy infatuations and obsessive limerance (sp?) .. and no sense of self (like the narcissist?) except as magical thinking about how much such intense unconditional love would be a gift to the object of her obsession. No concept of what she REALLY contributes to the relationship, bcuz she feels she has nothing to bring to the relationship, and yet somehow expects some magical saving love will nevertheless manifest in the other person for her, and yet if the other expresses healthy love with real expressions of things they appreciate about her, she is bewildered that they would see anything lovable about her .. Self-sabotaging .. 😳🤔😢🙃
I thought for me it was neglect, I am a man with massive trauma over and over as a child with my father, two older siblings and one younger and I watched abandonment video and felt it uncovered something. I don't know if you consider this differing. Lisa Romano I think.
Dr. Vaknin you will always be a national treasure
I think erotomania and love addiction are the most shameful problems and even tabu, it is great that they are finally being talked about. I thought I was alone in this, I have been overly ”romantic” all my life from the little girl. It is exhausting when you grow old and want to be desperately free of it. It has ruined my life in so many levels, I have not have had time to develop myself fully as indenpendent person without constant heart break and depression. It is too shameful to talk about in group therapy, only form available at my home town.
X2
And this tells a lot on how narcissists turns their "victims" into babies. Before individuating and separating from the mother, they get you back to that state, it becomes like an addiction, a dopamine hit, an obsession, cuz now you are idealized and perfect, and when they don't give you closer, you keep on choosing to attract the same person in other people, because the cycle was never taken towards closer, they suck you in, and they throw you away, just like a baby, with no attention, you feel lost and in pain, grieving for mommy, grieving for yourself, why yourself? Because narcissism is about absence, there's nobody home, you only fell in love with an idealized image of yourself.
How to heal? Well, LOVE YOURSELF.
Self love, reparent yourself, be your own mom and dad, give yourself unconditional love, not the love of the narcissist, essentially, it's the love of a true strong person, with a solid core of identity, you got all the answers you need, you know exactly what to do.
Love is a mental illness, and if you dig deeper, you can compare it to drug addict for example, when you know it's bad for you, how bad? It's killing your spirit, just like the word alcohol, it means dark spirit taking over your consciousness, destroying your roots, making you vulnerable to a fantasy, that will never come true, remember? The very first moment when your guts told you, that this addictionship will destroy you, in other words, it will suppress your true voice, your self critique, your will and how you perceive reality.
It may have was at first glance, sexual Attraction, but don't confuse, "love" which is mental illness with casual sex, where you get to experience an orgasmic joy at some point, because you like the person's sexual appeal, maybe he's handsome, or he's the prince charming from Disney movies, or that guy you're thinking about from pornhub. Don't even confuse both of these with intimacy, intimacy, requires respect, boundaries, humanitarian couples if you wish, where you get to empathize with your partner, and allow each other's true authentic voice to speak, and express itself, with compassion, you both create a healthy family dynamic system, and this kind of intimacy has its own time, when you grow older, 25/30 maybe, because before that period of time, you'll have to focus on building yourself, loving yourself, taking care of all of who you are, understand yourself, you got a voice, strong and powerful, roar like a lion, and set yourself free, neediness is not for the strong, but for the weak, now it's time to quit this addiction, and come back home, to you, only you, nobody else. Love yourself ♥️
Ok. I dont know if I'm sociopath or not, but I think I'm smart enough for keep listening and learning of your mesmerizing knowledge and wisdom...because I need it !!!!👐❤🇦🇷
Subscribers go and come. Your channel will always grow because of your unique wisdom and genius.
I love this new channel because I've been following him since 2011 originally to understand Narcassit but evolved to try to fix myself. I ran across Richard Grannon to try to Amp up healing after having felt I knew enough of Narcassit and my own Disordered mind so I was ecstatic to see both on this channel putting everything more completely together for me at once. So amazing to see his own research evolve and see what this research can do for humanity if we all just heard and applied this wisdom.🌺
🤣🤣🤣 the description of lost subscribers, I love you Doc!
Yet another video that contains a perfect description of part of my personality. *shakes head slowly*
You got another subscriber , me. I am binge watching your videos with great interest , thank you for sharing your insights and knowledge and not putting up with idiots, that is the part I like the most
Love addict = codependent = narcissist = love addict. 🤔 nice to have you back Prof. Vaknin. 💜
I love this man 🙌🏽
😘
This is me but im now conscious about it thanks to you Dr
good introduction ✌
Thanks a bunch and warm greetings professor VAKNIN!🙌
What do you think of hypnotherapy to treat love addiction?
Scam.
I understand, more and more, salvation in nothingness. Thank you Sam Vaknin.
This is me 100%
Oh dear, I've spent years learning from many teachers on several topics pinged here, but never have I come across a lecture on this topic, AND which really resonated uncomfortably much with me and the myriad stories of my "loves" over my life.
She's the most extreme kind of people pleaser .. extreme emotional disregulation .. fantasy infatuations and obsessive limerance (sp?) .. and no sense of self (like the narcissist?) except as magical thinking about how much such intense unconditional love would be a gift to the object of her obsession. No concept of what she REALLY contributes to the relationship, bcuz she feels she has nothing to bring to the relationship, and yet somehow expects some magical saving love will nevertheless manifest in the other person for her, and yet if the other expresses healthy love with real expressions of things they appreciate about her, she is bewildered that they would see anything lovable about her .. Self-sabotaging .. 😳🤔😢🙃
Like the movie Breaking The Waves
My ex gf was a love addict. She told me If
48 hours pass after a fight she’s onto the next one.
And what about you?
Joe Goldberg from "YOU"
I thought for me it was neglect, I am a man with massive trauma over and over as a child with my father, two older siblings and one younger and I watched abandonment video and felt it uncovered something. I don't know if you consider this differing. Lisa Romano I think.
Hahahahaha too good!
🤣