I used to see myself as a victim,even worse, a 'poor victim', wah wah wah. It's very dangerous to adopt the role/mentality of "the victim", cuz it "releases" you from all responsibilities as an ADULT man or woman. I also know now,it makes you an easier victim! - Great ,and EXTREMELY important lesson Mr Vaknin/Sam,right on! ;) Thank you. 👍 Ps, Yikes, you are brutally honest,but I love it! I have had a rough childhood,and one very toxic relationship, but I've been through years, (and tears of therapy),and I see now how I tried to manipulate others via my victimhood, it may give you empathy, but not respect in the long run. "There comes a time when we HAVE to grow up", a dude once told me, sounds very simplistic,but,yet,it's so true,spot on. I rest in myself now, and don't need other's approval/attention. Only the sincere kind that grows naturally. (Apologies for bad English).
I remember reading I Never Promised You a Rose Garden and feeling a warmth suffuse me. Humans are so beautiful and can be so at the mercy of their minds .
Yikes. I can relate, I meet 1 rescuer in my life. Persecutor maybe those online scammer. But yeah. I can relate to this Dr. Vaknin. More learning about myself again. Thanks
I refused to play the victim role until five years ago, but after yet another failure, I realized that I had fallen into victimism (and depression too). But I later realized that failure is the obvious consequence when I set unrealistic goals, while when I set myself pragmatic and achievable goals, I manage to achieve them. So, I try to take my responsibilities and get out of victimhood
Could you give some practical ways and any resources that we can use to overcome learned helplessness. As you said it's something we have to learn and work at.
What age do we become responsible for our actions? Obviously children aren't playing victim (or are they?). A child can't be blamed for what happens to them but what age can they be blamed? 16? 18? 21? just curious.
Oh OK, Negative events it's unhealthy to have Internal, Positive events its healthy to have Internal. [The attribution of positive events to stable, global, and internal factors, and the attribution of negative events to external, unstable, and specific factors, is considered to be a “healthy” attributional style. Conversely, the attribution of negative events to internal, stable and global causes is hypothesized to be “depressogenic” and to act as a diathesis that interacts with life events to produce depression (Abramson et al., 1989).]
I learn from Prof. Vaknin’s videos way more than I did from my useless college degree in psychology.
True, I really like how he doesn't sugarcoat anything
Omg your description of coaches is eye opening, and so accurate it is uncanny.
It's really fun listen to you. I have listen to you every day for months now.
My favorit professor of psychology and favorit youtuber!!
Yes. He has something to say. I'm wery found on him. Great mind.
I used to see myself as a victim,even worse, a 'poor victim', wah wah wah.
It's very dangerous to adopt the role/mentality of "the victim", cuz it "releases" you from all responsibilities as an ADULT man or woman. I also know now,it makes you an easier victim!
-
Great ,and EXTREMELY important lesson Mr Vaknin/Sam,right on! ;)
Thank you. 👍
Ps, Yikes, you are brutally honest,but I love it!
I have had a rough childhood,and one very toxic relationship, but I've been through years, (and tears of therapy),and I see now how I tried to manipulate others via my victimhood, it may give you empathy, but not respect in the long run.
"There comes a time when we HAVE to grow up", a dude once told me, sounds very simplistic,but,yet,it's so true,spot on.
I rest in myself now, and don't need other's approval/attention. Only the sincere kind that grows naturally.
(Apologies for bad English).
I remember reading I Never Promised You a Rose Garden and feeling a warmth suffuse me. Humans are so beautiful and can be so at the mercy of their minds .
Yikes. I can relate, I meet 1 rescuer in my life. Persecutor maybe those online scammer. But yeah. I can relate to this Dr. Vaknin. More learning about myself again. Thanks
Very powerful analysis.
I refused to play the victim role until five years ago, but after yet another failure, I realized that I had fallen into victimism (and depression too).
But I later realized that failure is the obvious consequence when I set unrealistic goals, while when I set myself pragmatic and achievable goals, I manage to achieve them. So, I try to take my responsibilities and get out of victimhood
Could you give some practical ways and any resources that we can use to overcome learned helplessness. As you said it's something we have to learn and work at.
Very good. Thank you.
"A powerr play. Like in rape." Please..expand?
Illuminating videos (Practice Nothingness playlist)
I'm rescuer. This is 1000% true
What age do we become responsible for our actions? Obviously children aren't playing victim (or are they?). A child can't be blamed for what happens to them but what age can they be blamed? 16? 18? 21? just curious.
As early as age 4, we are able to tell right from wrong. We diagnose conduct disorder (child psychopathy) in children, starting at that age.
56:58 , sorry did you mean External Stable And global, what you said was Internal, stable, and global ?
Oh OK, Negative events it's unhealthy to have Internal, Positive events its healthy to have Internal.
[The attribution of positive events to stable, global, and internal factors, and the attribution of negative events to external, unstable, and specific factors, is considered to be a “healthy” attributional style.
Conversely, the attribution of negative events to internal, stable and global causes is hypothesized to be “depressogenic” and to act as a diathesis that interacts with life events to produce depression (Abramson et al., 1989).]
מה זה aproach avoidance לא בקונטקסט ספציפי ,בכללית