Revisiting Non Binary Tik Tok
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- Опубліковано 27 сер 2024
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My 4 year old niece used to call me “good boy” all the time, and when I came out as non-binary she started calling me “good human.”
That's so cute oml 🥺
More like good creature
The pain of being in the “I’m not like other girls!” phase before realizing ‘Oh. I’m really not like other girls. Reason 1: I am not one’
LOL SAME!
Same. I look back, and while I definitely still cringe, it's a bit easier to cope with. That poor kid didn't have any understanding of how they felt, and were trying to cope.
@@rabbit__; skip to end for tldr 🖤
i get that. looking back, i always tried to be accepting but i also wasn't informed enough to grasp the situation of people i wanted to defend. i was ignorant and thought i understood everything. there was this bloke who'd always come up and tell me that there were only two genders, which was disconcerting because we are fairly progressive about it all in my area. i would always tell him to be quiet and shut up, although i didn't explicitly disagree or agree; i just sort of said, 'respect people who believe xyz' without thinking about whether that was the case or not. it was little bits at a time, that i realised new things. i remember telling my brother that i would date someone who was trans (bcus my girlfriend was questioning atp but i wanted to stay together regardless) and he said that it made sense, seeing as i'm bi. he is, too, bi the way.. wink wink.
later on, he returned to me and recalled how his friend, a pansexual person, claimed that bisexual people _didn't_ date trans people, so he and i must actually be pan. i said that they must be wrong, because i'm not pan, i would just date whatever gender, so long as i like the person; he said he had the same outlook. so, i googled it and realised that it was actually transphobic to claim that someone had to be pan; though i don't think his friend meant any harm. with my partner, she thought she was a trans guy for a while and began transitioning; i researched a lot and it's how i discovered sam's channel. although she was only curious and exploring her own identity, i continued to seek information from the source of my questions rather than from what my friends or parents would tell me.
*i'm rambling so much oh my god! it's my adderall, adhd treatment makes me so focused i feel capable of anything. this isn't reddit and i don't even use reddit but tldr; i think it's like that for everyone, with all matters. we all look back and cringe at ourselves. it's good that we changed, hopefully for the better. i hope that kid you look back on can still make you proud in some senses. i'm proud of you!*
Same!
me too goodbye im not like the other girls im not-
I, as a trans woman, had another trans woman come out to me, and I said, "that's awesome man!" and immediately slapped myself in the face.
Something similar happened to me, I have a tran man friend who I knew pre transition, I'm nonbinary. I one time said,"Hey girl what's up". Didn't slap myself but I was close, he understood and had a good laugh
💀💀💀
Well, you are both men, so you said nothing wrong.
Hahaha whoops
“man” is sometimes used as slang
i’m sure they didn’t mean anything bad tho
When I cut my hair, I hadn't even come out as genderfluid but it felt so relieving after the fact when I looked in the mirror. Now I'm growing my hair out after 3 years and it feels good.
Yeah I got a haircut after like my entire life for having long hair all the time. When I finally got it cut it felt so freeing like it made me unbelievably happy lol
Haircuts always helps a person feel more themselves, finally got mine cut and I feel so much better and more myself
Relateble
I can't wait to cut my hair in a couple years. My family won't let me, the shortest they'll allow is down to my chin-
When I want it shaved. Maybe I'll grow it out a bit after, but rn? I just want it shaved
I'm gender fluid as well but my parents don't know. I love my hair right now. It's shaved all around the sides and back and the top is long enough to put in a little ponytail and purple.
love how one or two non-binary tiktoks are somehow much better/funnier than the entirety of conservative tiktok
That bird imprison still haunts my nightmares
Honestly though,
Non-binary Tiktoks > Conservative Tiktoks
Mayate!
@@airplanes_aren.t_real watched that one before this one and I hate my life
One-thousandth like💪😎
Fun little story, so I regularly babysit my mom's friends kid, and I recently came out as trans (ftm) and the little boys parents kinda explained to him that I was now a boy, and the kid broke down "so I can't marry them?! But MOM I wanna marry them!" Of course then it was a fun conversation of "you can't marry him because your 6, you can Mary a boy if you want, just not this boy"
LMAO thats hilarious. I love stories like these
A true gentleman o7
Lmao
The gender neutral term to nephew/ niece is nibling for those that want or need to know♡
NIBLING
@@SupraMan38 yooooo i'm a nibling!
THAT IS SO AMAZING
also your pfp is my lock screen
i would prob confuse it with sibling lol
Makes me think of Nibbles from Tom & Jerry. X3
I’m non-binary afab and I get so much shit when I dress “feminine”. What I wear has nothing to do with how I feel about my gender, really.
I get the same shit, but it's so funny because I'm actually AMAB, but people just assume.
PREACH
my mother has gone out of her way to point out how much more i wear dresses and skirts since i came out. like... had NOTHING to do with dropping 30lbs and being able to fit into those things at the same time, no. i'm just faking being enby. for suuuuure.
lmao I'm afab and i barely even wore anything besides hoodies before i came out, now I actually dress up and people take it like ive finally decided to be a girl now
but also i feel like i get more shit when i go in the opposite direction, like when i'm masc people act kinda uncomfortable or confused and talk about how my hair looks better long and all that shit. its not like super explicit but its kinda depressing and I feel like people are willing to ignore and push more of my identity and choices aside when i dress more ""normally""
i'm amab and people get mad at me for not only wearing skirts lmao
people really out here taking the ‘non’ out of non-binary 🤨🤨
LMFAO YA WTF
Imagine calling them *binary people* though
They are *NON* binary
Cuz nb is not a gender
@@theuploader2660 y r u leaving so many comments just to spew hate lmfao get a life
My mom watched a show that had a nonbinary character played by a nonbinary actor and at first I thought, "wow, maybe seeing an actual nonbinary person in a show she likes will make her more understanding." But instead she has gone the route of "that nonbinary actor [does some thing], therefore you should also [do the same thing]," because obviously all nonbinary people are exactly the same 🙃.
:( I’m sorry. I hope she’ll come around.
This makes me cry
I had someone tell me I looked like an nb character from a TV show (I didn't, we just both had shaved heads) and then said "she's a really great actress", so yah, i don't think she got it
Woof. Maybe more nonbinary rep will help, but either way that should not have been her conclusion! Nonbinary is never a one-size-fits-all, that's the whole point.
I'm nonbinary and as a kid, I just sort of accepted that my sex was my gender because that's what I knew about growing up. Everyone told me "You're a girl", so I was like "ok. I guess they know best." since all I could really tell was I wasn't a boy. I even got into "I'm not like other girls" culture because the truth was I wasn't a girl.
@@khaozxx I only thought of myself as a girl because I thought it was the only option and that doing and liking certain things made me a girl but sometimes gendered language made me feel so out of place and whenever I questioned my gender or how I felt abt myself it's usually just nothing
lit same lmao
I had a similar experience. I grew up knowing there was something "off" about me, but since no one really talked about sex and gender, I just assumed everyone else felt the same way. I just kinda went with it even though I was very unhappy. Figured that was normal. Like, everyone is unhappy, right? 😬
@@khaozxx same, i always came to the conclusion EMPEROR! i know its technically gendered, but it just felt right
Wait...that happened to me...
im currently dating a trans man, and although ive always been apart of the lgbt community, and an ally of trans people, its taken me a lot of time to realize that trans people have little accomplishment that make them feel incredibly euphoric, but to me, feel like small passing tasks of my day. like cutting my hair makes me feel prettier, sure. but for my boyfriend, the first time he had cut his hair to look and present more masculine was probably the most important day of his life. the more time i spend with him, and the more time i spend researching and watching trans youtubers, i begin to understand that minute things such as this are probably the biggest highlights of his life, and i want to be able to appreciate that more, with him :)
You and your boyfriend deserve the world. So wholesome!!
That’s so cute I’m wishing the best for both of you 😭❤️
i'm literally going to cry over this this is so sweet
as a non-binary person, i do call everyone girl, honey, babes, sweet, sweetie, babe. etc etc, but i will ALWAYS use something different if someone asks.
Same. Basically what a drag queen would use, probably what I would. Of course if it makes someone uncomfortable I just don't do so around them. It isn't that hard, just takes a little practice. I mean there are already different social rules for each person and context, this is just another part of that. Everyone should feel their identity is respected.
i have this habit where i call guys "girl" and girls "bruh" or "boy", its pretty funny because no one (cis people) ever even notices
@@spider-woman9482 i imagine it can trigger gender dysphoria, yk? cis people don't tend to have that problem lol
Non binary here and I use man, boi, dude and my guy lol
Unless someone tells me not to ofc!
My lecturer this week said "my SON this year actually realised HE is non-binary and isn't as much a 'he' as a 'them' and HE wants us to respect that" and even as a cishet person I died inside. How can you say a sentence like that it doesn't even make grammatical sense
Lmao but also pain
That grandma is everything the world needs.
I'm not saying you should make a video of accepting family member Tik Toks, but you should.
Whenever I see a video of a accepting family member it literally adds 10 years to my life span
I'm fucking tearing up at the grandma one holy _fuck_
My grandma is pretty supportive and most of the time calls me grand*child* but she does slip up. She loves me and I know means well. She's almost 80 tho so it is what it is. She's one of the first people I talked about gender with and knows the most about it. I'm glad to have her
@@d0ublewhammy this, it makes me just a bit hopeful that I’ll find my chosen family
@@brieoshiro idk why but when i read that she calls you grandchild instead, i had the biggest smile on my face
I remember when my cousin came out as non binary and every time their parents would Misgender them I’d just start very aggressively barking at their parents😭
Iconic
You're my hero
I love your pfp!! Specially since He also has a non-binary bestie
@@FaiaHalo thank you 😊 i love hanji as well they have a very nice personality and attitude to be around, it’s pretty funny too because my name is Levi and I look fairly similar to him and have a nb friend😄
Please
Become my cousin
I'm afab genderqueer, and I plan to transition fully to a male, but I'm still genderqueer. Seeing proud amab masculine enbies really makes me more confident in my masculinity because I feel like I don't have to conform and identify as a trans guy just because of my transition plans.
Same here
Yes. This.
omg yay fellow afab genderqueer who plans to transition to male yahoo!!!
Back when I first came out to my family as enby my six year old little cousin asked me whether I'm a boy or a girl and while I was struggling to respond she went "It's okay, you can just be my cousin." I love her so much
ah yes the three genders
girls
boys
and sam
that is the 3 genders
@@SupraMan38 im a sam
@@enfoBWH me too
@@rumplestiltskinhoe oh cool😼
@@enfoBWH thank you 💪
I love it when sam does this kinda content, its always so funny or wholesome like
always a fun video to do :D
Love your name lol
i'm sure he prefers it to some of the more serious topics he has to deal with (though i love those videos too obvs). it's a win win. feel good content makes us feel good! 🥴
Holy fuck “failed abortion”
@@Derangedlefty yeah my mom did not want me 🤷
Cutting my hair was soo happy for me because personally for me my long hair stressed me out soo much. Especially love seeing fellow non-binarys who are not androgynous because for me I am more fem presenting and it took me a while to shake the idea of non-binary equals androgynous.
For me I've been growing out my hair recently and I've honestly been questioning why I didn't do it sooner. It's not much but I'm like marginally happier with my appearance now which is neat. Does it help me look more androgynous or make people perceive me as anything but just a man? Nope, but hey I got longer hair now and that gives me at least some joy in this cold lonely world
I went bald in 2020 and that was so damn liberating. I cannot tell how beautiful I thought I looked and how confident I was feeling for that one year. I have never loved myself like I loved myself at that moment. So people, do what you want with your hair, it feels good.
There’s this girl in my class that asked for my pronouns and I told them. They went on to talk about how their sibling came out as nonbinary by saying “Oh yeah my sister came out as non-binary, she goes by they them and she’s also bi” and my friend and I just gave each other the look of disappointment. The girl is an ally but I think she’s a little confused-
Yeah, um, even if both people are nonbinary, you can't just give away someone's information without consent. Like, I know that you're friends, but that doesn't mean you can do whatever. Communication is key in any relationship/friendship. I mean, for instance, my aunt and grandma told my mom my cousin was trans and then my mom told me my cousin was trans. I was excited and contacted my cousin. I'm impulsive, so I didn't really think too far ahead. My cousin felt betrayed by her mom, that her secret was given away without her permission. I WAS told to keep it a secret and to not talk to my cousin about it, but I was so desperate for connection that I threw caution to the wind. I found out my other cousin was bi. So, yay, diversity in the family. Honestly, I can't really blame one more than the other, but nowadays, if I had thought it through before contacting my cousin, I should have scolded my family for giving away my cousins secret, even if I was also trans. If I had been in your specific situation, I would have felt disappointed, but I also would have laughed and then gave her some words of advice for when she wants to introduce her sibling the next time. Like, if I say I use they/them, my friend shouldn't say 'he' uses they/them. Like, come on. Still, if find the situation a tad bit funny. Don't use someone's dead pronouns to introduce their new pronouns.
@@geminiwolf0077 im a tad confused with the start of the reply? Are you saying that I shouldn’t have commented this story? /gen
@@xhybridstudiosx No no no no. I wasn't saying that at all. I was just providing my own story that had a similar issue with outing a trans person. You were never in the wrong. I'm sorry that my comment insinuated otherwise. I'm sorry.
Ah, I realized my mistake. I tend to use "you/you're" a lot to another person, and I guess you got confused by me saying "you" as in you the storyteller rather than "you" the girl who is trying to be an ally. When i was saying "You can't just do this..." I was referring to the girl ally, not you. I'm sorry that I got us into a confused mess. I'll try to word my sentences better next time.
@@geminiwolf0077 it’s alright! Just clarifying! Also I agree whole heartedly
Literally after I explained that I'm non binary to my (at the time) 5yo brother, he very excitedly someone who misgendered me "she's genderless!!"
We had to work on the pronoun thing (though I was a trans girl before coming out as enby so it wasn't a huge deal), but my point is that kids genuinely do have an easier time understanding gender than most adults
as a transmasc nonbinary person in my experience ppl go "yeah girlie! youre so pretty! her pronouns are they/them!!" because they like the idea of supporting nb people without doing the work it takes to actually be supportive
Everyone here is someone, everyone here has value, everyone here has worth and everyone here is important. I'm so proud of you for making it this far in life, I'm proud of how strong you are and I'm proud of you for getting up today as I know how hard it is. Don't forget that you are loved and appreciated by so many.
Thank you random person. This really made my day.
I usually don't care much for these comments, but I needed this today. Thank you, stranger 💜
ua-cam.com/video/0rxtL3uTl7s/v-deo.html
@@choicethetaurus This is actually not bad. Thought it was going to be another SoundCloud rapper or Rick Roll.
@@choicethetaurus as much as i dont like self promotion this the only time ill accept it cuz this song goes
I will say, adding "man" to the end of my sentences is already a non-binary habit for me 😂 You a man, yeah man! You a woman, great man! You non-binary, rock it man! Same goes for "dude." 😋 Obviously if it bothers someone, I'll try to not do it, but it's just a habit for me to call literally everyone that lol.
Ah yes, the nonbinary urge to say man at the end of every sentence. I felt that😂
@@Silly_1824 I do it too!!
I love it when people ask me what's my gender and I just give them a menacing smile
"What's your gender?"
"I am a menance to society."
I appreciate this so much. The first time I came out to my best friend as non-binary, she said I was "the most feminine person" she knew, and that I was taking away from others who were "really trans and non-binary". It hurt so much, that now it's hard to communicate my pronouns to others without feeling shame. Seeing others who express similarly to how I do, that's validating. Thanks Sam.
One of my ballet friends presents very femme, and uses she/they pronouns. I would never invalidate them, for this very reason. She might LOOK fem, that doesn't mean they are. 💛
An enby fem is still a them!(or whatever pronouns you prefer :D )
Good job. You're one brave lady!
@@NatjelovesBillk they’re one brave cookie indeed!
@@cupio-stardust She is!
I'm a cis girl, but some of these almost made me cry. Enbies being comfortable is so beautiful, you guys are so valid and sexy
just like you not needing dysphoria to be trans, you don’t need to be androgynous to be non binary
You… kind of do need dysphoria to have a good reason to transition
@@captivecat5858 no? Transition to make you happy. You may not get dysphoria but be so much happier after getting surgery?
@@captivecat5858 it's about euphoria, not dysphoria. My friend experiences no dysphoria, but the amount of euphoria they get when they're called by their preferred pronouns and name? It's amazing
Preach!
...but also,,, what if I just love confusing the fuck out of innocent bystanders 👀
lol
@@sajk1774 but that's a very slippery slope. Here's another way to think of it: gender dysphoria is currently recognized as a mental health condition, for which the treatment is transitioning. Just like depression is a mental health condition for which a treatment option is antidepressants.
Now, you say some people who do not have GD benefit from transitioning, which is valid. However, some neurotypical people may experience a mood boost from antidepressants like Prozac even though they are neurotypical - does that mean we should prescribe antidepressants to anyone who can benefit from them? Likewise, should anyone who may feel "gender euphoria" transition?
no one asked but the one at 5:42 made me think of this n i wanted to share:
my friend & i are both nonbinary. i use he/they and she uses she/they. im afab and she's amab so one of the things we do is say that she's my sister & i'm her brother n it makes both of us very happy :)
ME AND MY FRIEND DO THAT TOO!!
I used to watch your videos when I was questioning my gender, now I know I’m trans. Love you Sam.
When I was little, I had hair down to the small of my back, and everyone loved it so it took me until I changed schools in fourth grade to feel secure enough to cut it. I tried growing my hair out again at age 15, and again in my early 20s, but it never stuck and I hated.
I'm almost 32 now, and I've been out as agender for about five or so years now (originally came out as FtM, it's a really long story honestly but yeah, just for context). I'm still masc-leaning, and recently, I found an old picture of myself from the time I let my hair grow out in my early 20s, and I was wearing my toque, and it reminded me of every time one of my favourite UA-camrs would let his hair grow out during the pandemic because getting a haircut is such a pain in the ass. And there were a lot of comments - from both himself and his audience - about looking like a character from a 2000s skateboarding game and I LOVE that aesthetic, so I decided to grow my hair out one last time (the last time I'd literally just shaved my head, which I loved, but when I have short hair I feel like people just see a butch lesbian and not a transmasc bisexual, so...). Besides, I wanted to dye it again.
My hair is now the length I want it - not too long, not too short - and I actually feel _more_ masculine with long hair than with short! I'm always going to get misgendered either way (even with top surgery, I'm still pretty curvy - wide at the hips, mainly - and old, "girly" speech habits die hard), but at least *I* feel more confident in my appearance, and I really only care about my own personal aesthetics. I really want to lose weight and get some surgery, but I live on disability, so even though some stuff is covered, a lot of stuff isn't. So........ 😑 Maybe I'll just start kissing my dad's rich friend's ass.....
the fact that this video got uploaded when i was having a gender crisis feels like a signal
gender crises intensifies
I found this after questioning my gender again. This might be a sign
Gender Crisis TM
As a he/they enby with feminine expression (likes to wear makeup, likes to dress the way I like to dress, etc.) Nothing is more annoying than "you don't look like ×" or whatever. Also perfect timing for this video haha, was binging through LGBT tik tok comps.
For the one at 3:48, there’s already a word for it. Nibling has been a word for quite a while and refers to neice/nephew in a gender neutral manner
@@LEJenkins3 huh, never heard that one. Neat
this kinda sounds like another word 😆😆💅🏽
@@muka2438 what do you mean?
@@just_a_dustpan "nibling" is what my friends used to say instead of nword but i just thought it was funny 😄
@@muka2438 ahh that’s kinda funny actually, lmao
Non binary tiktok is so wholesome and I think everyone can agree
Nah, it’s kinda full of mysoginistic women trying to justify that they’re not girls because „they are not like other girls” and it’s kinda hard to watch
Trans men and women tik-toks on the other hand are wholesome and valid af
I want short hair so much, but what's frustrating is my hairstylist never gives me the hairstyle I want. Every hairstyle I ever showed her was on a male model and was a very specific masculine cut, and she always gave me a totally different cut. Makes it way scarier to ask for he super short hairstyle I want. She even said when I showed her a hairstyle "girly no way I'm doing that you'll look too masculine".
I need to open an LGBT owned hair salon for people who just want a damn haircut.
You should definitely find a new hairstylist! They’re literally getting paid to do what you want your hair to look like, and she’s not even doing that. You deserve the hair you want.
This reminds me of my friend calling me queen even though im non binary, i dont say anything about because shes helped me through this and corrects people when they use the wrong pronouns for me and she tries her hardest to use them rightly herself too=) shes the best
In my friend group we switched from queen/king to monarch for nb's because it has the same energy. Monarch energy 👑💓
This is so wholesome omg 😭❤️
i’m sure of your friend is supportive then she’ll understand. maybe try to let her know if that makes you uncomfortable, i’m sure that she’ll understand
these tiktoks brought me a lot of comfort. im non-binary and im constantly referred to as "she" because im very fem-presenting. hearing from other non-binary people that there is no specific way to "look" non-binary makes me feel so much better.
People think that to be non-binary you need to look androgynous 100% of the time which just. Is dumb.
9:28 reminds me of the time my mom got really into crochet and it was the time i came out as gay so she immediately started working on a rainbow coloured blanket for me, it looks so cool and i really really love it
My best friend's grandparents have basically "adopted" me as their grandchild (I'm an adult), but they're very conservative, Christian, and cis (and I haven't come out to them as nonbinary for that reason because I want to avoid the awkwardness and worse invalidation).
My bestie does her absolute best to use my correct pronouns (they/them), and tried to explain it to her 7 year old cousin who asked about it -- and her cousin's very Christian mom said she didn't want her daughter to be exposed to that (I was not present to witness this, to be clear).
My bestie was so upset for me and lost her shit when she next talked to me (God I love her, SHE'S THE ABSOLUTE BEST).
Her step-grandma told me, "I know (bestie's name) calls you they/them when talking about you. I'm sorry, but you're a girl. You look like a girl, you sound like a girl, you're a girl." I was so uncomfortable I didn't know what to say, this is also why I didn't want to come out as nonbinary because I expected this kind of reaction.
I haven't yet told my bestie about that conversation yet, it happened shortly before she told me about the conversation with her aunt and cousin and I didn't want to make her feel worse. I'll probably tell her about it soon, now that there's been some time.
I don't know, it's so confusing. They are and have been so kind to me, they really are, but this is something they don't understand. Maybe sometime I'll try to explain it to them.
It depends if they’re open or not. Some people are genuinely confused and others flat out don’t believe you could possibly feel this way towards yourself and your gender. They were also raised in a different culture and generation that we are. I live with my own grandparents and as they are supportive, I still get misgendered and deadnamed but them even when they correct it or I correct it. It’s hard to help someone understand something especially if they’re stuck in their ways and how they were raised. I hope maybe with time it can change perspectives but usually when I’m met with this sort of stagnant attitude I stay away from those people. If they’re not gonna respect me, my life, my decisions and feelings then why would I put my energy into them? If I don’t get the same? Not just with being respected in this way, but in any sort of way, really.
I’m really lucky most people are cool with me being trans and respect my pronouns and such but I also feel like not many people actually understand the way I feel and the relationship I have with my gender identity. Which is fine, as long as I do, but yet it’s still difficult. Know you’re not alone okay and still deserve respect for your gender identity even if the people who disrespect it are nice in every other way.
@@angryfence3928 the ironic thing is they know I'm a lesbian and completely respect that, like they have no issue with that whatsoever. But having been raised by Christian conservative parents, I have a feeling the nonbinary thing will throw them for a loop.
Hell I still have trouble understanding the concept sometimes and getting used to using people's correct pronouns (I make an enormous effort of course). I discovered I'm nonbinary a little over a year ago, so I'm still relatively new to it all.
@@sassylittleprophet I understand! We all have our own journeys yknow? I only just come out as trans about 2 years ago. But a lot of work with my therapist has made me realize the importance of correcting people and feeling respected as the gender I identify as. My grandparents are catholic so I understand, I was raised as a girl and my family would always say I was a “Tom boy” and that I’d grow out of it, no I never did, I was always masculine, I thought I was a lesbian until I realized I’m a bisexual trans man. And I’ve been a lot more comfy in myself since then
I’m still in the process of questioning my gender identity, but my gender expression has always been masculine so the euphoria I felt after cutting my hair short was so good. It’s been 4 years and despite my mom telling me how cute my hair would be if I grew it back out I have never or will never let it get as long as it was. The longest I’ve let it get was to my shoulder and up I hated it.
Recently came out as trans, but I'm also nonbinary. And honestly, I always thought my dysphoria was because I was nonbinary and had a obvious feminine body type. But at work a little girl called me a boy and I was over the moon excited and had no clue why. Took me a bit talking with my trans cousin to find out why.
Once I save the money I'm cutting my hair short. Like super short. It's already chin length but I want it shorter.
my friend (he/she) asked me few days ago what are my pronouns out of nowhere and it made me so happy to hear him say that she will keep that in mind and use them
1:30 i got my hair cut short before i even started questioning if i was trans but i’ll never forget looking in the mirror and seeing myself for the first time and the hairdresser who didn’t smile the entire appointment did when she saw how happy i was and i couldn’t stop thanking her it was a good day :)
@11:03 The thing i find sad is that recently a friend of mines passed away in a car accident and he was gay and in my mind i already had a feeling somebody made the joke of him not making it into heaven....i have no faith in some of the people of my town
People tend to expect nonbinary people to be androgynous. As a feminine-presenting AFAB enby, I tend to have to explain to people that identity and expression are two entirely separate things and just because I look feminine doesn’t make me any less nonbinary.
As an androgynous trans man yes. I like to wear feminine clothes and have long hair but I cut my hair off because I'll get called "she". My voice realy doesn't help me either as it's feminine
I’m genderfluid and have a super prominent hourglass figure so I know that no matter what I do, the likelihood of being perceived as anything other than a cis woman by a lot of cishet people is so low and it absolutely kills me
I also still really like wearing more traditionally feminine clothes a lot so it’s like a double whammy🥲
The trans inner conflict of feeling like it’s your fault that people don’t think to acknowledge your gender identity because you don’t try to present a certain way vs the rational smart part of the brain knowing you shouldn’t have to do anything to validate your gender identity by acting or looking a certain way
I came out as non-binary a few months back and seeing this video makes me feel so validated you don’t even know. My family doesn’t get my pronouns right. I’m constantly misgendered at work because I’m not out to the people there because I don’t even know how I would come out to them. I came out on tik tok but I read the comments on all of my tik toks and there’s only a few people that use “they.” I feel like the only person who respects my pronouns IS MYSELF.
the hair thing is so true, sometimes i wish i had my hair long just to cut it off and feel that gender euphoria again T-T
This video is reminding me about how once on tiktok someone got mad at me because I said that amab nonbinary people are allowed to identify as lesbian even if they don't look feminine
like what why do you care 😭
Finally cut off all my long hair 3 years ago. It was amazing!!!
However, I finally told my best friend the other day that I'm non-binary. That didn't go as well. Her answer to this was "Cool, so long as you're not one of those weirdos that uses they/them as pronouns.".
Yep. I spent the afternoon explaining "as a matter of fact, it's kind of part of the whole non-binary thing. You know, because neither 'he' nor 'she' are relevant pronouns."
my mom finally let me cut my hair this year, but she wouldn't let me cut it as short as i truly wanted it "because i might regret it...." granted i am closeted she still shouldn't have a say in that
I'm nonbinary and I personally don't care how someone genders me(ex: saying girl/bro), but if someone says 'hey I don't like that' then I try but am also terrible at trying to not say it since I do say it to all my friends.
There is a gender neutral term for your siblings' kids (replacing neice/nephew) - it's "nilbing," and it's the most adorable word ever
8:32 the first person in my family to ever accept me was my little brother (6 or 7 at the time) transphobes think that little kids won’t understand but they’re the MOST understanding. before a little kid came up to my friend and asked if they were a boy or girl. they said no and then the little kid asked if they were nonbinary! it was so sweet!!
I do have a friend who ends basically every sentence with "girl" so for me it wouldn't bother me if he did say it to me because he generally doesn't use it in a gendered way, but I also know that he would stop for any specific person if it made them uncomfortable (because he checked with me to see if he should stop since he knows I am trans). I think the key thing is that he is aware some people might not be cool with being called girl and if anyone asked him to stop, I know he would
when my friends misgender me I just clear my throat until they correct themselves. works like a charm because they cant keep talking without me continuously interrupting them
I HATED those "Girls on one side and boys on the other!" thing, especially for certain traditions. My mom would literally DRAG me to the women's side of the circle and it would infuriate me, wearing skirts was also a thing, a thing I didn't like much as a trans guy. I think if my mom gave me my space, supported me and let me grow comfortable with who I am, I probably wouldn't give a shit about having to wear a skirt or anything like that. What she expected of me wasn't me and it's unfortunate to say that she never really knew, or cared to truly know, who I was.
The "Elsa and Anna!" girl broke me, I can't! Children's innocence is honestly so adorable!
The first time my son cut his hair, you couldn’t stop him from smiling. It was nice to see him smile.
Gender neural compliments I’ve enjoyed:
Hot
Sweet
Eldritch abomination
Sexy
Wow your such an eldritch abomination (also quick question based on that do you listen to horror podcasts)
I'm not non binary but I remember when I first cut my hair lol. Liberating honestly.
I have long curly red hair. I told my family I want a haircut one year and they took me to get a haircut. I told the lady I wanted my hair cut up to my shoulders and my grandma and mom were way more nervous than I was lol
"Are you sure"? "You can just take it up a few inches if you're nervous". Ect ect. Is what they were telling me and I was like "nah cut it" lmfao.
XD good memories. I'm getting a side cut for my birthday soon.
It’s interesting how non-binary has developed a “look” according to cis ppl. I’m a cis woman, but I got a buzzcut and ppl started asking me abt my pronouns more often than they did before. Which I mean yeah hair is often very important in terms of identity and trans/nb ppl, and I’m glad they were accepting if I was nb/trans, but just an observation.
I’m afab non-binary, and I dress kinda feminine sometimes. since I can’t transition (because of healthcare costs), people always assume I’m a girl. It’s really annoying
Right?! Like sometimes I just want to wear a skirt and twirl around that doesn't make me a girl.
I recently came out to my older brother as non binary and thankfully he was super chill and accepting. I still cried really hard though but perhaps that's just because I'm very emotional lmao
Getting my hair cut really short the first time was so euphoric for me and yet I continued to think I was a cis girl for years afterward
seeing that grandma who made her grandkid an enby flag scarf almost made me tear up
both because that’s so sweet, but also… my one living grandmother would never try to understand or accept me, and i doubt the others would if they were here. stuff’s bittersweet i guess :’)
9:39 Bro I started crying with this one old people are always my soft spot
I was so deep in the closet when I cut my hair lmao. I wanted to cut my hair for years before I was finally able to. I had reasons like "I sweat too much, so I'd prefer my hair to be short" and "I just don't want to maintain my hair." When I got my hair cut at the beginning of my sophomore year, my mom asked if I had anything to tell her because I had some friends come out to her around the same time. I confidently said no because obviously I'm just a girl that doesn't like to be as girly. I was going through a whole "not like other girls" faze and it's embarrassing to think back on lmao. It took me a fucking year after I cut my hair to realize "Holy shit I'm non-binary." It made everything make a lot more sense lmao. Funnily enough, now that I'm more secure in my gender and who I am, I'm actually more comfortable dressing up in more traditionally "feminine" clothing lol
that 0:41 wink ~slaughtered me~
just wanna say thanks sam. I came out as agender/non-binary to a couple people close to me a few months ago, and your channel was a part of what helped me learn about myself. glad you’re here ♥️
Bro fr I saw so many people be like "demi Lovato isn't nb because they didn't even change their fashion". Like a I saw a literal non binary person say that about demi-
This is great. Also, the music in the one at 6:28. I never thought that style would leave Bluffington and exist after 1994.
i absolutely adore how the fellow non-binary people are, there’s so much support in our little community
I love this channel so much, it helped me during dark ass times where I felt like I shouldn't be on this earth. And it continues to help me now
Thank you Sam
-Aspen
Oh yeah, I remember that moment I first cut my hair. Lockdowns prevented me from accessing a hairstylist which in the end was a good thing because they were never willing to cut my hair "masculine" short. They all would under do it even when I was like, take it off! I can't wait to be able to go to a barber. I probably wont for a long while after covid because of my limitation to access one, but I will make it eventually.
Hair is such a huge thing. I came out as non-binary to my best friends and they all shaved my head that same day. It was amazing.
I cut my hair a few months ago and it was the best feeling ever. I had wanted to since early 2021 but I had a big event in September and my mom wouldn’t let me cut it until after. I got it cut in November and came out as genderfluid a bit before that. Never been happier!
3:57 i mean...facebook labeled me as "child of mother's sister"
omg literally the FIRST video you react to is one of my friends from middle school it’s so crazy how they’ve become so popular over the years,,, they deserve all the love ahhhh LOVE YOU MIKA!!!
'You might as well separate boys, girls, and the Same because I could kick everyone's ass' so glad I find you just now your dry humor is gold
1:14 me ☹️ everyone keeps saying it would look better if i kept it longer but like i dont want to its so annoying 😢 but i cant help but listen to them cause this one friend says it would look ugly and stuff so thats a bir hurtful ig💔
If I got a misgender jar i would get millions of dollars.
Same!
8:48 i got a friend who’s like this and I think it goes to show how little cis people understand about trans people. You can be a good ally but you’re never actually going to understand what it feels like. That’s why some non binary or trans men don’t like being called “girl,” even if it is a term of endearment, a lot of cis people won’t understand why that comment specifically would carry so much weight. Like, I didn’t go through years of suppressing my identity and hiding who I was just to be called “girly” because some cis girl feels like it. And it’s especially messed up when they say “oh don’t be like that, I say that to everyone🤪.” It’s not cute, it really hurts😕🤚
2:01 When I ended up talking to a friend’s mom about me being trans (ftm) we had a very chill life conversation with questions about my interests. She asked what I wanted to be and at that time I said an engineer she said,”you go girl,girls can do anything.” I was surprised and annoyed with that comment.
oh man its annoying when people go all #girlboss#feminism when afab people want to get into STEM stuff, because no, my interests are not girlboss feminism, because im just not a girl
it's so small that it feels silly but whenever i cut my hair short, i get so much gender euphoria
this prob sounds weird but it makes me happy seeing ppl supporting non binary ppl :)
Doesn't sound weird at all- its sweet! ^^
I SAY MAN AND BRO SO MUCH JUST UNIVERSALLY AND IM ALWAYS AFRAID THAT IT WILL HURT SOMEONE JUST BECAUSE ITS SO IN TUNE WITH MY VOCABULARY AAAA
I will never forget the time my professor asked us to introduce ourselves and share our pronouns and when describing a students from the previous year he said, "This one girl sat up real tall and she said, 'I like they/them.'" It wouldn't have made such an impression if he didn't constantly commit microagressions against his students of color and female students.
As a NB person, I always feel bad calling people girl or miss, but it's literally my default setting lmao. I just call anyone and everyone girlie, girl, miss girl etc. and then sometimes I realize like... oops
Thanks you for this Sam. I was about to have a full on breakdown bc of a fight with my mom and this helped so much. You're not going to see this but honestly you saved me from ruining my mental health.
I think us non-binary people go through such a unique life experience bc, unlike for most trans people, transitioning into the opposite gender just doesn't cut it. I went through a journey of disconnecting the implications of what it means to be a woman from my body and view it as just my own. It's not a woman's body because it's mine and I'm not a woman. I now feel comfortable in my own skin and love my body for what it is.
Dude. (Cis woman here) I was struggling with taking care of my hair (long, really curly, tends to get dry fast, and I had bleached it to dye it green). When I showered, and washed it, it felt like the biggest chore. I have depression and anxiety, so it was getting to the point that I thought about taking scissors to it every day, but I said, nah, let's save my money and go to my stylist, and VOILA. It's so short, it doesn't reach my shoulders even wet, and I've never felt more POWERFUL. Never going back!!
Thanks for the non-binary love!
By the way, there's already a gender neutral term for a niece or nephew. It's "nibling!" Similar to the gender neutral "sibling."
My biggest pet peeve is when people say like "oh so you're a they?" "Oh she's a they/them" things like that. Makes me want to SCREAM
That or people correcting themselves but making a massive deal out of it. Like someone will accidentally say he and then be like "OH MY GOD I'M SO SORRY I MEANT THEY"
Like just correct yourself quietly and move on.
I have an NB friend whose boss called them "she" then corrected to "them" despite them never saying anything about it; but the workplace has badges that include pronouns and he took the time to look and acknowledge they were there. That made their morning, today. :)
With the girls on this side & boys on the other situation, after I started realizing I'm trans I stood in the middle instead or went to the boys side. Depending the class I was in.
*I'm Non-binary & AFAB