Don't Break No Contact! (The Love Chat)
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- Опубліковано 3 жов 2024
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#selflove #nocontact #dating #howtogetyourexback #thelovechat
No Contact, Rebound Relationships, Dating Advice, Love Advice, The Love Chat, Intrusive Thoughts, Mental Health, Casual Dating, Anhedonia, no contact rule, Limiting Beliefs, How to Overcome Limiting Beliefs, Fearful avoidant, Anxious attachment, avoidant attachment, no contact
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Don't do it. I did it in December because I never learn from other people's mistakes, only mine. Sent her a long-ass paragraph about how I was missing my best friend and lover and wanted to see if we could reconnect. She answered with a single sentence, and I had to go through the embarrassment of telling her I couldn't do it a few days later.
Don't. Do. It. If they care, I promise you, they *will* reach out eventually. If they don't, why are you going somewhere where you're not wanted?
my ex reached out 2 years later. (i am the dumpee) i never broke NC and now she is asking all these questions about my life but I do not find her attractive anymore. we've been texting for a couple of days i keep things short she initiates everything. I honestly don't give AF and NC WORKS PEOPLE. but don't just wait around, do you.
The only time it's acceptable to break no contact is if enough time has passed and you have 0 attachment to the potential outcome regardless of what that may look like for you.
This is coming from someone that's has been there and done that. I was one of the fortunate ones that it worked for. However, I've been in a new better relationship for over a year now and just wanted to say that the break up could be a blessing in disguise, a lesson...
You're damn right, Rory. My ex came back after a few years. Can you imagine that. We're talking about years here. He wanted friendship. I didn't mind, and agreed to meet because I was curious about how he was doing. I wasn't afraid of anything because I was already light years away from what had been between us, completely involved with someone else. Some time before we would meet, he sent me a message that he wasn't sure he could make it. I read it, rolled my eyes and continued my life. After that, he contacted me two or three times again. I didn't answer. I didn't care. I didn't mind, even. I didn't even take the effort to remove the contact from my phone. So now he is ghosted by me. Not that I care. Just enjoying a little compensation.
I’m claiming this for my future, lol
Don't break no contact you will instantly regret it! There's no going back!
You're so damn right about the regret part - when you hit send you regret so badly. Stay strong, get your life straight and forget about your ex.
This video wasn’t just a home run. It was a grand slam
That was a great episode. Thank you. It's been almost 2 years since I left the girl I loved and it still hurts like crazy. Words like these help me understand, that I did the right thing. Respect Rory!
Hey buddy, you have done great till now and beleive me it'll be best in future. It is gaining back our self respect which we had lend for the sake of Love.
@@NaraynGhogale thanks! Best wishes to you my friend!
You seem cute. Lol. Hope you are better now. 😊
@@nnamaes7137 thank you. Much better. Some things are better left behind 😊
Going on 3 years in May..pushed through because of you!!! Still occasionally miss him bit it gets better
You're doing awesome, Julia!!
Last 30 seconds of this video hit me right in the feels…
Just stop by to say hello to you Rory, you helped me overcome my tough time a year ago. I'm always thankful. Wish you the best
If we're still coming here in a place of anxiety and watching these videos for comfort, we aren't ready for our ex to reach out. I don't want her to reach out until we've both had the time to make real changes and hopefully, by the time I've done the work, I won't care if she ever does. Either way, this is time for me to find myself again and to be sure that I never lose myself in someone else ever again. And guess what? If I'm living a fulfilling life months from now and I would still like her to be a part of it? I'll be more ready than ever.
put the phone down and pick your head up .... you deserve better... Such a powerful statement!
10 months of NC, stay strong guys
Hello guys much love from the UK 🇬🇧
My split was 60 days ago. I've been NC but I was looking at her social media (bad idea) but that has stopped now. Anyway some encouragement for you broken hearted people. The first 60 days are tough. I've taken up gym and football (soccer for our American friends) I've lost 20 pounds and feeling good. Anyway today the penny dropped. All the good work I've done on myself whilst not contacting her has gave me so much motivation. The work level, the intensity, the tenacity is unparrarel right now. Attacking everything in life. The only thing I got zero time for is negativity
100% positive
100% committedp
100% ferocious
100% courageous with 100% belief in what I'm doing and where I'm going.
You attract what you are. Better days are coming guys. I am now in a position where if she came back I feel light years ahead of her. I feel like the power is with me as she will not change. I wish you all the best of luck. Rory you are a gentleman. Thanks for all of your guidance.
To summarise, take every ounce of pain you feel now and use it as motivation to get out and get in shape. The endorphins after a workout are amazing. The love you want to give your ex give it yourself. You will start to feel better and like me the penny will drop. I wish you all the best. You have my support.
PS stay off their social media!
We dated for 5yrs, and its been 8 months of no contact. The break up happened in August of last year, I moved out of our apartment in September, In which we had contact, then a month later in october they texted me happy birthday, in which i didnt respond. We havent talked since. I pushed myself not to contact because It just felt like the right thing to do, Everyone i know reaches out to there ex, i didnt realize it was so common to do so. I forced myself to do the right thing even when i felt miserable doing it. I tmade it past every major holiday, christmas, new years, thanksgiving, valentines day. Without a single message from them, but also i didnt send anything either. I still love him, Ive tried my absolute best to work on myself, but sometimes i have these days where I miss them and our dogs, the memories hit and its asbolutely terrible, it hurts really bad some days. It just turned March and it was eating away at me to message him, I was going to do it today. Then i saw your yourtube video. I always refer back to your videos when im struggling, but im taking this as a sign. Because you posted the video today and i was going to do it today but now im thinking DO NOT DO IT. I dont understand the whole universe thing, ive never had any ex come back, the break ups have always been really bad. But i really did wish, for this first time, that he would have come back, that this would have been an exception. That we would have been able to work it out. I guess im always going to have a really really soft spot for this guy. I just cant stop moving forward though.
Time does heal , just trust yourself and that the sad feelings are all temporary
This was exactly what I needed to be reminded of today. Thank you fit putting it in terms that reminded me of my worth.
You are so welcome!!
Its hard, but the pain goes away, if he/she does not come back. You're designed like that. New memeories replace, or switch, is a better term here, as soon as you keep living your life. I want her to come back too but if not there'll be somebody else for you, you just have to have the guts to go over to that new girl that just checked you out from a far. Do it. Why not? Its better than sitting at home looking at your phone, isnt it? Live your life.
No Contact…You have to imagine that your ex, now does not exist.
8 days NC and I feel like I’m dying right now. Watching this video to prevent myself from txting my ex that I miss him 😖 because I really really do mis him right now, especially on my days off when all I have is time to think and remember the times we use to have together 💔
Stay strong! I am on day 12. My ex of 2 years whom I loved deeply, cheated and left me. I miss her soo much and want to call her but we can't do it!! They don't deserve us. The days home alone are the hardest.. try getting out of the house.even it's just for a bit. I feel your pain, stay strong and positive 🙏
I’m in week 8 of no contact, I hope you’re doing okay ❤️
I’m in 23 days of no contact,next month it’s my birthday I’m so scared that he won’t reach out.
If they refuse counselling with you - walk away and don’t look back
I'm having a really rough time with not contacting her, lately I've been thinking about out memories pretty much non stop. I come back to this video for some comfort. I know I won't contact her, but this is immensely tiring and draining.
What a good ending!
I deserve better.
Just found out my ex is pregnant from a guy she has only known for 8 months. this is the sign to definitely move on
Also Rory this is my last video that ill be watching of yours I’m in a much better place than I was 6 months ago ready to move forward thanks for all your videos
Excellent news!! Best of luck to you!! (The healing part >.>)
You dodged a bullet, mate
i am back! after a break up of 3 years losing my house. then dating the one i thought i loved more than anyone else i ever had something with, 5 weeks in got dumped. back on the mental toughnes train
Damn. This was gold!
Thank you so much. ❤😢
Rory, can I please have some info on how to email you? I’m at a point where I think I just need some professional advice as it’s been a month now since we broke up and I want to move forward and stop pestering my friends and family about how I feel. I’m from England so I don’t know if that’s a problem with doing live coaching due to time zones, but I’d even pay for an email at this point.
Please let me know, thank you
Amazing.. I got a text from him(my dumper) after a week.. Its funny.. How powerful this is.. Thank you..
Thank you Rory
Thanks for the video. It has been almost a year and I have been doing jo contact since the beginning. It did not help in getting her back but the break up was also very bad with her being extremely cold and disrespectful. I saw how happy she was without me on social media. I almost wanted to reach out
💯 true. Good message 👍🏿
I was about to text my ex who dumped me but changed my mind. It’s still hard after one month of no contact. But trying so hard cause i miss her
always so good!!! thank you 😊
I get what you're saying about your own self-worth and value, but what if a period of reflection has given you insight into the mistakes you made that caused you to be dumped in the first place? This is where I am at the moment. 3 weeks in and it's only through this time and space apart that I've been able to realise how poorly I behaved and why she broke up with me. I ended up sending her a letter to apologise for my behaviour and explain to her that I can do better (she thanked me for sending it and told me she needs time to compute).
I think it's a different story if the breakup was messy or if they break up with you just because it doesn't feel "right". But if you know that you were dumped because of legitimate mistakes and hurt that *you* caused, why is it so bad to reach out?
update? lol
I am this close to texting my ex. The relationship got toxic and abusive, but I miss the friend in him. I just wanna talk to him or hear him apologize once for all the hurt he has caused me. I am trying so hard to hold on to this no contact rule. It's just been 6 days and I don't know how long I can do this but I am trying so hard.
Im 9 months of no contact without any sign of contact from her. Last week was horrible I felt like all the confidence that I have in the beginning was shit and with no hope anymore. Im trying to hold on because I understand that no message that I can send to her will cause any change because she left me and hasn’t contact me is because she doesn’t want me.
How are you holding up?
What if they are just too scared to reach out thinking you are mad at them? (All my exes returned, but after opportunity was already missed. I never took them back, and when i asked them what took them so long to reach out, they all said they were scared of me. Lol)
This right here.
Been thinking the same in my case. BUT: I've recontacted him in the very beginning a few times once he started being flaky. That took a lot of bravery. So, if I managed it back then, how could I take him seriously in any way if now it's clearly his turn and he let's fear stop him? No no no. Either he steps up and overcomes his ego - or I find someone more mature.
I haven’t done it and won’t do it!!!
Today is my birthday and I was broken up with last night.. I brought it upon myself but nonetheless I love him and is terrible I fear I have lost him for good this time
My ex broke up w/ me late last year and ghosted me. Meanwhile... She's been orbiting by remaining in regular contact w/ my pops n the other day I got a private call that I didn't answer and which I'm almost certain was her. I'm not into games so I'm good.
No contact is my new bae.
Hi Rory, I'm loving the channel and you've really helped and empowered me, also, you've opened my eyes for the better.
But could you do more videos based around Co-parenting, for example my ex has become quite hostile and difficult towards me out of nowhere, and is becoming extremely awkward and controlling as to when I can see our son.
Please I would love to hear your advice on this as I feel quite a few of us that watch your videos have children with an ex.
Dude i don't know what to feel right now, I'm pretty angry, sad, and just overthinking. We broke up, 11 days ago. The day after my Bday and did some pretty nasty things to me to make me feel terrible, i wasn't the perfect boyfriend but i did try to make things right no matter what, i just have flaws that i need to work on. Right now we aren't in contact, and yeah i fear she wont ever contact me again..or she will i don't know. However i'm focusing on myself to be a better person and going to the gym every afternoon right after work to feel better about myself. I do miss her and i love her, but again..it just sucks, it wasn't toxic..we had amazing times together.
How are you getting on?
Join the twitch and hang out with us, and let’s help Rory hit partner ❤️
3 years of no contact and before one month she reached out . We talk casually everything fine and after 4 days I send her good evening how are you and she didn't respond . Go for no.contact again ? All these years I work on my self I read books I do.gym I play.video games I go for runs I play basketball I went to Germany italy Belgium Holland mallorca Hungary France Brazil . I change my food . Im grateful that god.gives me these situations if I don't had the pain that I had I don't know if im doing all these changes .
Don't make yourself available, let her initiate. If she text you once, let her text you again and again and again... The moment you start texting her she's going to feel like you wanna get back and scare her away! But anyways 3 years is a very long time! You should not be too interested in her.., let her initiate all the contacts, you can only respond and act like you have a great life!
What’s your opinion on this Coach? My ex left me for someone else, i did no contact and he came back twice, saying he still loves me and misses me, but won’t break up with the new girl. We were even planning a trip for me to visit him.. but he just won’t leave her.. so the last time he texted me i asked him not to contact me anymore unless he truly wants to work on our relationship, he saw the text but didn’t respond. After that i blocked him everywhere. Do you think i did the right thing? Cause it seamed like he was confused about his feelings, and im afraid that he wont say anything even if he realizes I’m the one he wants to be with
Rory my ex broke up with me 2 months ago because her parents found out about us having sex and were ashamed of her
It was difficult for her to break up but then she was very admant about it cut contacts blocked me and haven't reached out since
There was no problem with both of us
👽
I think i fail my ex unblock me after 3 weeks of no contact i message her short messages i said Goodmorning how are you and a couple minute she block me again i think there is no hope i hope you read this
Rory can I post on social media moderately I took a week break off social media have posted the last couple days
Hey Rory! DG did a face reveal. When can we see yours? 😄✌️ Thank you so much, you and DG helped me move on.
I've actually revealed my face awhile ago on Twitch.tv/HiRory !
OM I'm so happy to finally see (and not just hear) both of you! 😊
Hey Rori, is taking a break or Breakup different? She asked for a break and I don't understand if she broke up with me. Been 2 weeks now of no contact after a break
Hej Rory
but in a situation when he reached out after 4,5 months of no contact and he asked me how I am doing and what is new in my life .And you talk to him for only a few minutes (you telling him that you started running and asking him if he does have a new hobby...) and also asking if he still smokes weed...and him then asking on the phone if we could do this again...talking etc. and then nothing since then...what does this mean? Does he still care or was this breadcrumbing?
How long has it been since that last conversation? Was he a heavy weed smoker? My ex wanted me to stop smoking weed because I really needed to. A week sober now, but I'm doing it for me. The anxiety sucks, but exercising is helping with this.
HI, hope you can help me! So I met with him 4 weeks ago and we had some arguements but still he said he wants to keep on meeting me. 1 week later I reached out to him asking to please call me back. He didn't. He completely ignored me even though he was online and active on social media. This really hurt me so much that one week later I decided to block him and stop myself from reaching out again. As you can imagine, it doesn't make me happy at all and I really want and need closure, I want to know why he started acting like this, did it mean he doesn't want contact anymore? I just don't understand all of this and can't find closure now. It's been 4 weeks. What's the best I can do now? I'd really appreciate your advice. Thank you!!!
Damn, the no-contact rule really does work. Reverse the game. Go no-contact, but with no expectations for getting back with him. Work on self-improvement. If you have depression, get it treated. If you've become sedentary, get out and move. When you get to the point where you're comfortable being independent, you'll likely attract a man who'll give you a much better relationship than anyone from your past. It might be him, it might be someone else, but focus on you and something good will come from it.
@@daemonwulfe see it's easier said than done, it's been almost two months now, I don't think he will come back again
How long were you together? Did he dump you? Why did the break happened? Plus you said you blocked him, so how would he contact you? It's too many variables to be guessing if no contact would bring him back, or it'll just make you stronger, free you from the pain of being rejected and help you to not care about him anymore and move on!
And one more thing, if all you need is closure, it's probably best if you completely ignore him and villainize him in your mind and get on with all the support you can get from friends, family, etc.., might even be okay to try and find a nice friend with benefits type of guy who'll comfort you while you are feeling down!
4:15
Last I was in contact with her was 7 days ago. And I told her that there will nothing between us anymore because I was emotional.
Tomorrow is women day and I am thinking about wishing her happy women day and then start no contact again.
Don't do it my friend. You will always find a great excuse to reach out to her, and women's day is one of them.
Don’t do it, it’ll make you feel worse in the end. You want to appear strong because that’s attractive, reaching out on womens day will not do that. If you really want to reach out, revisit the idea, but give yourself a month of no contact first. See if you feel the same way.
don't wish her nothing. Its just a mentally justified reason to reach out. Also don't worry if she gets upset you didn't do it .Your story, your life, you come first
Don’t reach out your more attractive when you show she’s not your only option
Dont do it bro.