267. Making sense of it (The Love Chat)
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- Опубліковано 20 лип 2020
- Why should I do No Contact? What's the point in personal work?
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Trying to win your Ex back? Need dating help? Visit: www.TheLoveChat.net/coaching
In this video Rory (The Love Chat) discusses why doing the no contact experience and working on yourself helps get your ex back. If you are trying to get an ex back this would be a good one to check out! Let's make sense of this whole mess (opportunity!)
What does the dumper go through?: • 59. What does the dump...
What is my Ex thinking about during No Contact?: • 60. What is my ex thin...
Time is everything when winning your Ex back!: • 10. Time is everything...
Will I ever hear from my Ex again?: • 4. Will I ever hear fr...
How to make your Ex regret dumping you!: • 19. How to make your e...
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#getyourexback #nocontact #dating #howtogetyourexback #thelovechat - Навчання та стиль
Rory I stopped loving my ex because I love you now
"You’re treating them like they’re a celebrity. So they’re treating you like you’re a fan." I love it :-)
It’ll be 3 months tomorrow since my breakup, doing a ton better, working on myself and dating someone new! My ex is hot and cold sometimes but I feel like with the way the breakup happened i have lost a lot of love and respect for her. Trust me folks work on yourself and good things will happen! I thought I’d never love again, but I’ve met someone new who is giving me butterflies, world works in mysterious ways, chin up you kings and queens!
I am with you! Love my ex, but it's been 4 months since the breakup, and almost 3 months in no contact. I have someone right now that is interested in me and we both like each other! My ex is still confused and doesn't know and I am over here enjoying everyday! I am taking my time because there is a lot of good stuff in my life right now.
this gives me a little hope, i love reading comments like this. helps my fragile heart that im trying to heal, thank you.
I want to find someone new already
did your ex ever come back?
when he said youtube tarot card readings' and 'law of attraction videos' I had to check the room for cameras. how does he know?!
>:)
Guilty!!
I got my ex fiance back, it took 4 months. Anyone who feels like they have no chance and wont get that person back, theres just no way. Just wait. I thought 100 percent theres no fucking way. And here I am. Shes staying over at my plac3 for a few days AGAIN this weekend with my daughter. Stay strong everyone. It gets better. Thank you rory.
Congrats man, don't know you but keep working on yourself, best of luck, godbless
@@TheKG636 thank you very much good sir. I hope all is well for you. Be safe out there.
Pagan Minn yeah like he said keep working on yourself I wish I could of known that months ago , stay safe
4 months NC？
@@gaoang3391 it was 4 months of smart contact. We have a daughter so I had to co parent. But that was strictly it. We only talked as business partners for our kid. No how you dos or I miss yous.
Hey Rory, I listened to this for old times sake. I found you when times were hard but found a much greater love after the ex. Like one that really works. Thanks for helping me through it
You are very welcome!
Same! It’s important to realize how far you’ve come. This is the first one I’ve listened to in a minute. I try to like his new vids without watching to help him out etc. Decided to listen to this one, and it made me feel good that he said some people chase their ex for years. Felt bad that I chased her for a couple months before listening to him and DG. Glad I put a stop to it
Same here. Listening for nostalgia reasons. Also found a greater love after the ex, sooner than I expected. Tomorrow marks it exactly one year since my devastating (2nd) breakup from my ex. It was such a HORRIBLE time in my life. No joy. No energy. NOTHING could get me out of my depressing funk. But this channel was such a great help in easing my pain and validating all the shitty feelings I was going through. A year later? Im happily married to someone who never hesitates to show how much he values our relationship and we have a baby on the way. Funny how life works out.
It been 3 month since I been broke up on end of April. I did 1 month and 2 week of try to get a second chance of course I fail, I did a phone coach with Rory. I been no contact ever since and lucky for me she block me everywhere before.I been working out and I grow muscle,I started to work full time as a Nurse,I been on few dates and many woman consider me as rare man to find now in days, I will be servings in the US Navy on November, right now I been successful in all ways. Do I miss my ex(dumper)? Well it comes and goes but it normal since it recent but do I let that stop me from growing? Hell no..person with high value won’t stay down..we just get up more stronger and better. My brothers and sisters who are currently dumped..you worth more then you can imagine and we got the power to make our life way better then our dumper can’t imagine. The pain can make our stronger and the time
Can make us like fine wine. Stay motivate,stay true to no contact and become stronger then ever.
did she ever reach out 3 years later?
I just have to say that discord app you have is a great place with a great community to talk to, thanks for setting that thing up.
This is the kind of reminder we need every now and then. THANK YOU 💖 love your voice so soothing
Oh Rory, THIS right here has got to be the best video of yours that I've watched so far. Literally everything you mentioned has got me thinking "HELL YES, THAT'S ABSOLUTELY F*CKING TRUE". Gosh you're helping me soooooo much, can't thank you enough
This channel has helped me with my mental health. I will be doing therapy soon. Cause after my breakup I kept thinking about hurting myself. Thank you for your help!
Thank you Rory, it’ll be the second month since we broke up. Still crying every night, it’s still painful and i’m still lost and very hurt, hearing your videos calms me. On the process of healing and learning to love myself again.
You got this everyone , honestly you got this . stay strong x
I watched almost all your vids over the years you've been with me for so long Rory thankyou so much
I couldn’t describe it better Rory that is exactly what I’m going through . It’s been almost two months since she blocked me so I would consider it still very fresh
My breakup was really hard but I worked on myself and I got something great my best self.
i am glad that i found ur channel in 1st month of my breakup...thanks alot rory.
thanks for this great video. i have to constantly remind myself that my ex cheated many times and that i should be more relieved now that he’s gone. it just hurts because i was so committed to him and our 18 year relationship that i sacrificed so much even my own happiness. i guess next time i should leave something for myself instead of giving someone 100% of myself.
UA-cam algorithm sucks. Idk why your videos do not get hundreds of thousands or even millions of views. I mean your content are super helpful and not toxic and manipulative ugghh many more people needs to see your vids. Btw my friends are now watching your vids Rory many of them really like your voice and wisdom
Thank you Rory for everything. I am moving forward, meditating, working out, clearly understand now that it's not worth it to chase this relationship after being lied to multiple times and being treated like garbage, but I am still haunted by thoughts of her and still in pain everyday. I know it will get better, but it's so hard.
You got this!
You sound more yourself, nice to hear. A great video as always Rory, thank you x
😊 thank you
Its nice to hear from you again Rory, reminding us in these hard times that we are fighting for our own sake
I hope you are doing well rory. You spend so much time trying to help us out that im glad you took some time off to focus on your health for a little bit. I am grateful for you and everything you do!
Thank you very much. I am glad I can help! :)
Rory you always say the right things at the right time !! Thank you!
Thank you again for another relevant post Rory!
I just had someone from my past reach out and I didn’t even have their contact info in my phone. I figured it out based on the area code.
This was someone I did not want to hear from again. He was very insensitive and said horrible things to me.
That said I wonder if you can address how to set boundaries with someone like this while keeping your integrity and not allowing them to drag you down to their level.
I believe I handled it well but I wish I had your insight.
Thanks!
I stopped feeling some things for my Ex a long time ago but kept on going with him because I was afraid. I'm learning that once you brave that barrier and start making boundaries about things that really mean things to you, facing that moment if hoovering etc isn't that scary Take a deep breath, deal with it, and if you've had enough of the life you've had with them, think about all you have, your life, your family, you!! 🍒
Best video yet. Thank you, Rory.
I was having a problem with how many time I have “permission “ to feel crappy. There are days I do everything . I climb a cliff two days ago for the first time in my life, but sometimes I don’t want to get up off the bed. So that makes me so confused
I would set a specific time every day to really allow yourself to feel - outside of the specific time it's important to go live! A large part of this is having enough discipline to say "yes" to life!
You are human, not a robot
I work a lot in my discipline and most of the time works. It’s been 2 weeks so when I met your channel I wasn’t half as fine as I am today. So I guess even I do feel bad it’s an improvement. And I have to tell you a lot of it is because of your good advice on working on oneself. Hope you’re feeling better I have a similar condition it’s always necessary re charge. Good vibes !!! The community is grateful with you and so am I
I met your channel January 2019
Not moping not crying, am slowly moving on. He won't be back I know that for sure. I gave him boundaries after he ghosted me. I know him well. He went back to his Mommie or whatever he calls her. No he loves his money ,big car, fancy home. All the things I can't provide. I'm earth he is air. Thanks loved the readi great advice as always. Hugsx
two months since the break up, she is 'happy with someone else' but still hops in and out of my life during no contcat. So today I finally plucked up the courage and not stand for it anymore. I told her to stop contacting me as i do not want a friendship, i am only interested in sorting things out. Its painfull but necessary.
Same scenario but I just started NC. Keep on doing the good work. Hopefully I get to the same place as you are
@@coldrein2 you will, hang in there. Fast forward 6 months and i am in a completely different head space and a lot happier without her.
I’m so glad to have found your channel Rory. You have helped me through these hard times of being in no contact with my partner which is my ex now currently. You motivate me to do better and put in the self work but I kinda hope that she comes back lol 😏😒😞
Glad I can help!
Looking forward to the boundaries video because I need some insight on what I should do if she comes back around because I think I messed up my first chance when we started kind of talking again, text more frequently, and seeing each other somewhat often but long story short I didn’t set any boundaries at all like letting her know that if your not willing to work on this relationship like I want to then we should stop seeing each other but if you change your mind let me know and we can work on this relationship that can potentially grow together, but I screwed up and now I’m back at square one.
Great video, Rory. Exactly what was needed. Love you man ❤️
Glad you enjoyed!
Hey Rory! Any chance you could make a video about a depressed partner pushing you away because of their depression/mental illness?
Sure. I have experience with this myself
Ah shit, I did that myself until she broke up with me. She couldn’t figure out what happened and probably she thought it was lack of interest.
This was beautiful as always :)
Thank you i always watch your video when im in the verge of texting him.
NC is definitely the best option. Even if you don’t want to get back with your ex I feel like it’s still the best option as hard as it might be. Because eventually you’re going to want to start dating and when you’re dating other people, do you really want your ex in the background? Or when they start dating other people do you want to be in the background and watch that? Not to mention potential jealousy from your future partners or their future partners. Having contact with exes really can cause problems in relationships for many people. So even if you have no intention of getting back I feel like removing the person from your life is probably best even if you just want to move forward and start a new with someone else
A lot of us don't have a choice anyways.. who wants to reach out only to get nothing back.. or no effort breadcrumbs.
Hi Rory! My friend recently went through a major change in her life wrt her relationship with this person she was seeing... Long story short, I told her about you and about how I got through my toughest break up with your help. You put this video up, I got the notification and immediately sent it to her to watch. She absolutely loved it and is now subscribed too! We love the love chat! Keep on being awesome! We really do appreciate you and what you do!!!!
Thank you for the referral, Nicole! Best of healing to you and your friend!!
Hey Rory, just want to say your advise is top notch and honestly got me through the hard times I encountered throughout my break up. I did the work on myself for my ex but it then became for myself and when I did it for myself my ex decided to come back. We have decided to give it a shot back in February and now we actually are better than we were before. Sometimes breaks up end up being beneficial to us in the long run. Stay positive everyone whether they come back or not, grow for yourself.
Took about 6 months and it was extremely hard, but she contacted me at a time where I was more focused on myself and my goals. Yeah I still loved her and missed her but I didn’t need her. I know it’s tough but don’t put a time frame on it like seriously don’t. That is only going to prolong your healing. I know with COVID going on a lot of things are unavailable for us to do but do your best to keep your mind occupied. Exercising really does the mind wonders. It lets you focus on yourself while making yourself look good. Watch @thelovechat’s videos on growth and before you know it you’ll be fine trust me. Give yourself confidence and value because you do have value.
Are you guys still together?
Yup! We are actually married now 👍🏼
@outfielder41 that's amazing congrats. My fiancé left a month ago so trying my best to work through it and follow advice in these videos. By far the most painful experience of my life
Hey Rory, I really appreciate all the content you and DG put out and it has really helped put things in perspective for me!
Yet out of the 300+ videos you both have put out, I haven't seen one on the topic of not only breaking up with your ex, but also with their family & friends. When your ex breaks up with you, you not only lose one relationship but a whole network - At least for me personally, the feeling of rejection is multiplied.
Even though my last relationship was relatively short (about a year), I spent multiple holidays together with both her and my parents and we all got along really well and had a great time. So it just feels extra painful to not only (possibly) never hear from my ex again, but also to no longer be any part of that family.
So in short: I think it would be interesting to hear your thoughts on the ex's family & friends (especially reaching out to them / seeking validation from them)
Looking forward to your reply and thanks again for all the hard work you put into helping others move forward in their lives!
Fantastic suggestion 💯
Yes I second that! I lost so many people when my ex decided to finish our relationship. I really liked his parents, and they liked me too - especially his mom. But now I lost them too, as well as all friends I made through my ex, they just never reached out to me after the breakup... Could you please consider this as a video topic Rory?
Hi Rory hope all is well in your life. Loving the vids so far they have helped me clarify alot of things that happened to me recently. I was wondering if youd ever do a video on going from living togethor to long distance and what to do if an ex contacts you after ou have moved away from a breakup. I havent really seen anyone that covers this. Take care my man wish you all the best. Love the channel.
Thank you, Jacob!!
Going through a 4months long distance breakup with my ex whom I never saw bcoz of the corona virus...I'm just amazed why she broke up with me without even seeing me in real
I love your videos so much, thank you for making them
You are so welcome!
Great review of the fundamentals., thanks!
Glad it was helpful!
Seriously appreciate you my dude, thankyou
Any time!
I made all the mistakes. Gifts, begging ect. Removed her from social media because it hurt seeing her. I suffer from anxiety and depression that I've took medication for years for. I started seeing a CBT therapist right before the breakup. I've now been in NC for around a months. I've continued to grow and love myself. Been broke up for 2 months. These videos along with the dating guy are gold. Just wish I found them before I hit panic mode lol keep up the good work
Same bro . I wish I did find them before I did all the shit
Update
@@kungfukenny1540 still had no contact and im happy. Stayed single to better myself. I learned shes a narcissist. I learned she was cheating on me with a guy from her new job that was obviously filling her ego. I've learned from these vids and my own experience that it was inevitable that our relationship would end when she said she needed a break. I possibly could have postponed it by having the advice of these vids before I acted wrongly. They say woman break up with you months before they tell you and thats what has happened here. Shes now in a relationship with that guy who cheated on his ex with my ex and has cheated many times before so I'd say they deserve eachother. My advice for anybody is better yourself and you will reap the rewards sooner or later.
I gotta be honest, I went NoContact instinctively before I knew of it and I am pretty damn proud
I agree 100% Rory. I don't know if I want her anymore. It's been like 1week but I'm confused if she's back it's still gonna be the same. I don't know if I want her back anymore. My friend got his own gym and I visit 4times a week then do ,400jumping jacks a day
Awesome vid as usual Rory xx
Thank you 😁
Rory you get me everytime I’m in the gym thanks man. I’m going thru the reach out then disappearing phase with my ex. I’m thinking of letting it go all together now...
Going through the same exact thing
Isaiah Edwards what are you planning on doing about?
I haven't listened to any of your new videos for the past 3 weeks however tonight while watching a romantic movie, a scene kinda reminded me of my ex and I broke down. I immediately know what to do.. I went on YT and watched this.. I thought I was doing great since the break up happened two months ago.. and I haven't spoken to him for a month now (plus didn't even greeted him on his bday last week) but I was wrong.. I still miss him and I wish things didn't ended between us but I know I can't do anything about it anymore... Instead I just wish soon I'd stop feeling this way.. I feel bad for myself. Thanks Rory for these awesome therapeutic videos 🧡
Can you do a video on attachment styles and specifically dating someone with a history of abuse and is avoidant and cant give or they feel smothered when approaching intimacy?
Rory, you helped me through a very difficult time. My ex fiance left me twice...that's right TWICE for her abusive ex babby daddy/drug addict/dead beat. The second time she left me for him, things got worse between them. He was beating on her, controlling her social media by updating photos of them because he was clearly insecure/jealous about me, damaging shit in the house ( like his done before) till she got his ass arrested. Now She's been reaching out to me and I hate seeing like this. Appearently, she's been drinking every day to cope. She's distraught, feeling bad for getting him arrested and she recently lost of close friend due to an also abusive/jealous ex. I have moved on, got someone else, much more loving and caring. But, cant seem to stop worrying about her. She seems to make bad decisions constantly. I dont want her back anymore, she's got serious Trauma Bondage with her ex. I'm better of without her, honestly. But cant help worrying about her. What's your take? How many times should you forgive/take back someone as unstable as her? BTW, we were in a long distance relationship.
Love you brother!! 🙏🙏🙏
Great video, Rory! Hhhhmmm... boundaries examples. Like....hitting on my niece.... getting in arguments with everybody.,... drinking too much...creating an account on match hours after asking me to be his exclusive girlfriend?...slow fading break up.... just to name a few.
Some things are more obvious than others I guess!
I really messed up today I begged and pleaded,but I apologized for asking and I blocked her because I kept stalking her insta and it only hurt me more so I stopped myself
Could u do a video on how to move on from someone u had to pull away from
Can you do a video if you were a rebound and if there is a chance of reconnecting if you were there for her in her hardest times ?
Love the show Rory thanks :)
My pleasure!
I'm in no contact 3 months, ex hasn't reached out, but she unblocked me on Facebook today. I don't know what to say to her now, just wait, thanks for being here Rory!
@@jcudal32 thanks so, it's so complicated
Hi Rory. My ex came back.after 8 months when I went NC but 4 months down the road, by just a miscom, he got so angry and yelled via a text message, and returned the masks that I bought for him and never contact me. I am on NC again. Do you think he will come back again? Thank you Rory. I wish you well.
I know a ton of people say this but it’s 100% true. Stay in no contact and commit to it! It’s the hardest thing you’ll do but you’ll be grateful for it. Rory and DG are two great guys to listen to and after a while you’ll be able to get by without watching tons of videos every day. I’ve never done a coaching with them, but I wish I had when my ex and I first broke up. It took me 3 months to realize I was putting her on a pedestal and chasing. I went into NC in April and it’s almost August. I deleted her from social media and she’s added me back on everything. I NO LONGER want or need her. Yes I love her but I realized I’m happier and healthier without her. I started working out again and I walk/run every morning and evening. I’ve lost 20 lbs, gained back muscle and I’m the most secure I’ve been in 2 years. I’m happier, healthier, more confident, etc. keep fighting, it gets better! Don’t obsess over your ex! Find yourself again and LOVE yourself! Thank you Rory.
We dated for 6 years and I was planning on proposing. We dated since high school and I wanted us to finish college before we got married/engaged. In case anyone was wondering how long.
Thank you rory
Ive come a long way..its been 10 months since she dumped me for someone else. Now i found out they are broken up and it seems like she did the same to her now ex as she did to me... But i hate it when i get a break down every once in a while. I wish i just didnt care at all anymore. Like i tell myself she is dead to me, but in a way i still care and wonder how someone can drop another person like a bag of trash like it was nothing to her
I relate to much of this post . I remind myself not “ how” but “ who” can do such things . The only answer is someone that is selfish and lacks the traits to have a healthy relationship. Behavior does not lie, you have two examples of her producing the same behavior . If it looks like a duck....
Thankyou so much
L O L Tarot card readings....you forgot to mention the spell-casters
Love this channel. I trust what you say. I’m two months out of a serious relationship. She is now seeing and sleeping with a friend she’s been snap chatting our whole relationship. She swore to me he was just a friend and she didn’t like him like that. That if he got inappropriate she stopped it immediately. I’m in no contact, saw her at a wedding and she didn’t say a word and neither did I. What should I do? I’m trying hard to move on.
Hey Rory, I was wondering if you still stream on Twitch ? It would be cool to hangout and watch you play some video games.
I haven't in a while but I may be bringing it back!
Rory I’m listening to your videos but I want to know what to do when the person that cut you off had a whole athletic career ahead of them but was cut short due to COVID. I want to be there to support him just as I did when the sport season was in full mode. I always told him I’d support him in the good and the bad.
I know you want to.. I wish I could support my ex while we are both stuck working from home. But the truth is they ended it and they are not deserving of your love and attention.. they are not willing to give back either. There isn't anything you can do and they know they can reach out if they really want to.
I wouldn't have broken up with her in a situation like this.. and yet she did anyways. You want someone who supports you when you are down as well.. like right now they should be here.
Thanks for the video Rory ! My ex is still in a rebound and I think it’s serious cuz she met his family... yet his family and even him still have pictures and posts of me on their social media. I know I’ll be fine cuz I’m nowhere near where I was when I got dumped but this is bothering me lol any advice ?
Also I hope ur doing better. Can you make a video about your ex and your experience? And everything that transpired ?
Glad to hear you're doing well. I would say that you're putting too much value on what you see on social media. Maybe it's time to stop looking at it? What does a picture from months/years ago really tell us? Would you have preferred they took it all down? Why or why not? I would explore these questions in a journal.
The Love Chat thanks Rory you’re right. I’m thinking too much into it.. I hope you make a video of your ex experience and your new relationship!! I want to learn your backstory 💜 hope all is well man
Thank you for the video! I don't know where to ask this exactly but my ex came back after no contact and I did not agree to friendship we've been talking for the past month everyday and we've seen each other a few times but nothing seems to be happening, I'm not really sure what to do as I would love to have him back in my life as a partner?
I would now initiate a boundary. If you do not want friendship - stop giving it. They can reach out if they want to work towards a romantic reconciliation.
@@TheLoveChat Thanks so much! I appreciate it, thank you for all the videos as well, they are all very wonderful, hope you are doing well!
Anybody have any tips for getting motivated?
Well come back Rory. You sound better in this video... that is good sign..😉my ex text me after 4 months NC. We long distance. I’m flying to see here coming Sunday. But should I be texting her b4 that🤔 if I text her she replays but I sense more like friendly vibe. 🤔
No need to text - just kick back and work on self-soothing!
Thank you .,. You are a star 💫
Can you make videos about anonymous success stories, like reading it from your client. Thank you.
Unfortunately I do not create content like this as I believe it does far more harm than good! Thank you for your suggestion!!
How so? Builds up false hope?
@@TheLoveChat yes i don't get it too, why? I listen like 50 times from another coach who posted an interview video about dumper regret.
The best video ever
Best viewer ever!
I just realized my ex is a hypocrite... Being jealous of all the social media women i actually know vs guys IK she never met 😂
Did you arrange with Dating guy to post new videos on the same day?
Btw it's so happy to hear from you two
Nope! But it seems to happen often!
What a coincidence 😁
Hi Rory, quick question I'm not sure if I can afford a coaching call so would be greatly appreciated if you could answer!
I'd keep NC and allow yourself to move past that chapter. It is highly likely that she didn't message you because she didn't want to run the risk of hurting you/leading you on - on your birthday.
@@TheLoveChat God bless you Rory thanks for your time. I assume that reasoning might still stand for any time after my birthday till now? Regardless the more time goes on the more I hope things become neutral than her worrying about hurting me. I'll leave any future interactions to come from her behalf. Thanks again!
We broke up during the lockdown. We were two months apart. the first month goes by perfectly, and then he said (yeah its a boyfriend dont go hard on that comment please, its still a break up and it hurts) that he lost interest in me and he doesnt know why. And it hurt him he didnt wanna feel this way cause we rly get along. 1.5 year now He was my best friend, i mean.. a very "easy" relationship. Cool. Very cool.. Tbh i lost interest in me too. I didnt care anymore for my college or any job and stuff, he was ok with it he was saying.. But I guess himself didnt know that eventually he wasnt.. Its been two months of NC. He contacted me after 3 weeks. He wanted to see how im doing. I was happy I was ok even if deadly hurt. He said "Wow what kind of changes are those" impressivly. In the end he shouted "I love you". When we broke up he said "I feel so empty. I wanna go out to see the world I havent given my 100% never to anything. I cant be with u now. we will be together later.. but now I feel empty emotionally.. and he hugged me. Very true. so much self doubt and dounting from his parents since he was little. He is 19 tho, still very young. When he called me he even asked me if it was ok to date new ppl and have some fun now that hes single. And i told him of course. Go out and live your life baby do what u do. U r single now. make the BEST of it. Very supportive. I mean.. We have such a great communication.. It hurts so bbbbad that ppl are touching the body I used to but, it has to happened. Besides I know that his soul will be "touched" harder. I know my worth. I know I am hell of a person. I know im funny as fuck. But I also fucked up haha. Rly left this person behind. I have a good feeling about us in the future. We are buddies.
I dunno why I said all that. I feel better now that I did
Me and my ex-boyfriend broke up about three weeks ago and I mean we were going to stay friends but then something happened and he blocked me on everything and didn’t give me an explanation of why and I recently found out that he still has my number and he still has me on Facebook and the other night he text my number and said that if I need anybody that he’s there but at the end of our relationship he kept yelling at me and you he made me feel like crap and I mean he told me all the stuff that he was getting a new girlfriend and that he’s want something better but he broke up with me because of distance supposedly but I’m really confused and he isn’t giving me answers and when I tried texting him he’s not responding he just looks at it which I get it and I’m trying no contact but it just feels really hard and I can’t stop thinking about him I mean that’s kind of expected we were dating for almost 2 years
Hi rory! I was just wondering if maybe you could make a video on why an ex (the dumper) will go completely emotionally unavailable during the break up while on the other side the dumpee is completely emotional?
Thanks rory I love your videos
Check this one out: ua-cam.com/video/EzU5iKRmIRE/v-deo.html
Hey Rory, my 28 year relationship is over, I am broken, I thought we were happy, we were. She was having an affair and left me for him. But still messages me wanting to be friends, do the stuff we used to do, it's a never ending nightmare. I have only just stumbled on you videos, wish I had earlier, made all the mistakes you mentioned. It has been 9 months now, I still feel broken. Don't know what to do.
Keep working on yourself, move forward
Rory, would it make sense to book a call with you, so I can get more clarity about the breakup I had in 2018? Just asking. Thanks for still being here and coming back, get well soon. You helped me a lot already.
If you're looking for clarity - yes. If you're looking to reconcile - perhaps you already know the answer!
@@TheLoveChat Thank you Rory!
Hello Rory, I am dealing with a break up. I found it is really helpful to listen to you. I have read a book recently. It’s really helpful. It’s called ‘The Art of Loving’ by Erich Fromm. Maybe you can have a look on it.
I'll check it out - thank you!
You are welcome 🙏🏽
🙏🏽 Thank you, Rory 💕🗣️#jenrox
My ex emotionally cheat on me (or began too) alongside starting to question our relationship and is now with that person. Should I expect to never hear from her again or prepare myself to ignore her because she’s going to come back?
Same happened to me and we lived together for 2,5 years..In my case I ignore her completely (we unfortunately work in the same Company) , nothing More than „hi“ and only when she says „hi“, I think she would like to Talk to me but if you emotional cheat on me and then Monkey branch (with someone who works in this Company aswell) just get outta my face...so in your case I would say you probably gonna hear from her again but when she emotional cheats on you and then monkey branch out of your relationship do you really wanna hear again from such a Person? I hope not, you‘re better than that.
Same thing happened to me. Been with my ex for 6 years and out of no where a little argument triggered a once again small break-up then she was emotionally cheating on me (showing zero emotion during our break up) claiming she needs space to miss me then out of no where she was going on a road trip with a close girl friend of hers and boom. I caught her out on snap chat sleeping with another guy now they are together and I haven't heard back for 1 month.. its very difficult time for me. Self love and self improvement is all I can think to do. Knowing ill never know what really happened plays with my emotions alot.
Rory is the best!
Same here. 15months into the relationship, I’m bending over backwards giving her space as requested only to see her hooking up within two weeks on our split with a “work friend”
@@tybennion1 thats messed up.. i dont understand to be honest I think its sickening. I tried to sleep with another girl and the whole time thinking of my ex... so weird how they can just go with someone else after having an emotional connection with you.. in my case it was a 6 year relationship.. lived together, almost died together. Done everything you can think of and one day boom. Vanished with some other guy like i never existed
MyReflex QuickAsf fuck man that sounds so similar to me, it’s the whole feeling that they can just in a matter of weeks turn off from you that effects me the most. Even if she spent a month thinking about leaving me how could she just move on that fast still? Guess we will never know just got to move on & better ourselves.
Emotional pain can be helped by anti anxiety medication from your doctor.
Rory how do you get yourself to date again? I don’t feel like talking to girls and going trough all that hassles of dating again. I’m pretty sure I’m afraid to be rejected but that’s not all, I just don’t want to be bothered..
The antidote to this is to live a happy, healthy life that is FOR YOU. Meet someone organically while you are doing that and be receptive to the possibility of it.
The Love Chat thanks Rory, I’ll try to find a purpose. Have a great day man!
I just broke No Contact AGAIN last night after almost 2 months, I was feeling so sad and missed my Ex so much that I ended up visiting his IG following him again and even sent him a DM in IG, telling him "You look good in your recent photos, glad you're doing well, happy for you, miss you as always" then cried till I fall asleep. Woke up , checked my phone and he followed me back and didn't reply to my DM but liked my message. Now I feel like I'm back to Zero since I broke No contact and that I somehow I feel like I betrayed myself for after sending that DM (although I really meant every single word of it)...feeling so down how I failed again and again. I've worked on myself this past months, I even made lots of progress but still there are "moments of weakness" every now and then but last night I gave in to it. I'm kinda tired now, and feeling disappointed with myself.
I feel you there. I not sure why you broke up with the person. But what you did you get told not today but you're only human. Been humans out there that have made some huge mistakes, yours is not one. You have not failed yourself you just need to express your emotions. If this person don't not see your value then it is his loss. Relationships are not easy but if you find someone you can actually talk to understand each and grow together that is not something you throw away.
@@lolliman21 He was the one who broke up with me via text, he became distant after we lived thousand of miles apart, but amidst all that, I still feel love for him and I'm that kind of person that expresses it. Been back on track now, I guess its normal to stumble, whats important is getting up and come back stronger.
5 months past the break up (and over 2 months of NC), and I'm experiencing big mood changes - like for most of the time I'm fine and then on some evenings I just cry cry and cry. Is it still normal after so much time has passed?
This is completely Normal.
I am already over my ex.... Its been 8 months. And I sometimes still cry before going to bed, missing all the good memories.
So Yes..You are not the only one. It is COMPLETELY NORMAL :)
Unfortunately yes. 6 months NC, it happens to me all the time. It’s good, let those tears flow it’ll give you more room in your heart to let love in 💕
Thank you guys for sharing your stories! My feelings confuse me so much these days, hearing that others struggle with similar things is so comforting
@@annejean3767 your welcome❤
Yes It is very very very very normal. :)
Atleast you look in a better position as compared to me...
When I was on 4th month, I was still so damnnnn needy and anxious... I was going through so much of panic attacks, anxiety and body aches :/ Worst Hell Experience Of My Life! I was Sick as a Dog!!
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After 7 months, I got over him...and thats when my ex started showing signs of regret.
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P.S I wanna give you one more advice.
Never everr discuss this matter with your friends who dont understand your situation. Sometimes some friends make us more uncomfortable.
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My friends told me the same... "Move on....Get Over Him...You'll find someone better" And Blaaah Blaah Blaah of their Bullshit!!!
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I mean Its so easy for them to say that because they are not the ones who are suffering or who got rejected by their partner. I mean..I am the one suffering. I know HOW FUCKING PATHETIC IT FEELS. Its like Walking on hot burning coals for months.
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You know I shared it with my friends too so that I can feel a bit better than before... But you know Whats Ironic? After sharing with them I felt even worse than before and My anxiety rose even higher than before.
Just you know, One friend of mine told me "its been 4 months, He will never ever ever everrrrrrrrrrrr regret or even miss you....Its damnn too long now"....
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And guess what??? MY FRIEND WAS JUST BLOODY WRONG!!!
7 and a Half months later, My Ex started showing signs of regret...and became more anxious and anxious especially the more I did no contact.
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So Yes dear, Missing and Crying for 2 months? This is ABSOLUTELY NORMAL :)
This crying is actually nothing as compared to my cryings and anxiety I felt on 4th and 5th month :)
Five months isn’t that long at all. That’s pretty fresh honestly. Give yourself at least a year man. This is really normal
almost 2.5 years
Rory my ex and I dated for 6 years. I recently got a new job as quarentine started, and she broke up with me 2 months ago. No contact started a month ago. Before then I texted her maybe 4 times since the break. I agreed with it saying we both needed time. Ultimately I was clingy and made her run because of it. Since then I got a promotion and have actually become mostly stable. Her birthday is in 2 days and I feel as though it may be a good idea to just say happy birthday because I know my family is going to as well. But she has been in a rebound for 1.5 months. 2 weeks after the breakup is when they met. I'm kind of wondering what to do, I was about to propose and she knew that it was coming soon. But I have no intention of getting a gift, or even needing to get a response from saying happy birthday. Any suggestions? I've rebounded early as well. But I broke that off because I wasn't a healthy person.
DO NOT wish her happy birthday!
@@MikeFluxxin I did and it ended pretty. Well on Friday we met at a car meet that she invited me out to. Kept it short said hi, caught up. I improved and she didn't. Talked about our familys, and how she was doing. By the way not so good. The birthday text was deleted by her rebound so she never got it. At the begining, no physical contact at all, at the end she gave a big hug and suggested meeting later in front of her rebound. I paid no attention to that aspect of the people arround. Then I left and enjoyed the event on my own. Since then I didn't talk to her. Kept moving forward and she seems that she is damaged by the breakup now, and I am at the point where I could take it or leave it seeing how she took the breakup that she initiated.
Hi Rory! Could you please make a video about breaking up due to long distance in times of COVID?
If the pandemic hadn't happen he would be here right now visiting me, but we ended up breaking up since the future looked so uncertain and there was no possibility of a visiting date. The long distance was hurting us more than being a good relationship (he has always been bad with social media, but we managed to survive that since we saw each other every 3 months, but without a visiting date it took a downfall. In this stressful context I needed more attention and love than what he could give me, and he needed the opposite; a bit more space and independence). Also, his country is not in quarantine, but mine is, so we were living very different situations and that contributed to a very asymmetrical relationship. We were not helping each other grow, we were stuck on a vicious cycle.
The love is still there, its just that in the middle of this crazy circumstances there doesn't seem to be another way and I am not very sure of how to proceed :(
Thanks!
claramb01 I’m in a very similar situation. I’ve simply gone no contact and am trying to find my center again. Giving her space and time.
@@stormfalcon72 i'm also in no contact, giving space & time. Hoping that with this process I will get a bigger perspective and learn. (but it's still hard haha)
I wish you good luck with your situation, I hope everything turns out alright!
I had also the same situation . Totally came out of nowhere . And have been suffering from major anxiety and now depression . I at least took the steps to ignore them on Facebook. But one last conversation with him (where he was clearly seeking validation) made me see he was so unclear and it was messing with my emotions. The hope that is so dangerous. I’ve put myself through online courses and self development work has been really great. And now I will not allow him to hurt me or take away my light.
What’s hard is that it was someone I truly loved and saw everything with. And it’s hard see the dark side of someone you love pointed at you. How they, in a way, act all righteous even though they are pissing all over your emotions and the relationship. Those are the behaviors that really make me see that even if he does come back he would have a lot to overcome. Doing the self work makes things so much clearer. Not to say I’m right, or the better person, I will honestly stand and plainly explain my part in all this. But I know how to be accountable and change. it’s clear when you’ve changed and they say they have but really haven’t, proven by their seemingly honest words but backed by no action. It’s emotionally abusive and just sad.
Again, I just keep telling myself, no one takes my light.
Would love to hear about this too!!
Welcome back Rory! Wishing you the ultimate best! If you or anyone can advise me on what to do with my situation that would be appreciated. My ex girlfriend who ghosted me and that I haven’t heard from in a year texted me a Happy Birthday message last week wishing me an amazing day as I am(in her own words) and I did reply to her with a Thank you message. We have been in a 5 yr relationship, she broke up twice with me via text message because she wanted an official commitment, took her back but the trust was gone on my part and with the ghosting that confirmed she’s not trustworthy. I forgive her but I’m confused on what to make of her intention. I got the indirect message from 2 of her best friends on July 3rd when within an hour one sends me a friend request on Facebook (I accepted it) and the other one sends me a text on Facebook messenger and I replied with yes What’s up? My ex’s birthday is on September 1st and I wonder if I should continue no contact or if I should text her HBD since she did it for me. I honestly don’t know if I want her back or not as the trust is gone but I know she probably still loves me and I care for her. Sorry about the long comment.
Unless she messages you again I would accept it as just a happy birthday message!
The Love Chat Thank You brother Rory! Much Love❤️ and Respect ✊🏻 You’re a life saver!
The Love Chat Even if the reason of her ghosting is that she went through a Traumatic experience( death of her ex/the father of her child) it still doesn’t excuse her behaviour right?
My ex left me for someone else 9 months ago and she is enjoying the new relationship. I'm trying to get over it slowly but it sucks to see the dumper doing so well in such short time... Whattya say Rory? Is it just the illusion of social media or are there some unforeseen "behind the scene" stuff?
For sure that is part of it - the other half is you are still using your Ex as a metric of how you're doing! "Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today." - Jordan Peterson
Fuck mine did the same about 6 weeks ago! How have you coped got 9 months 😬
@@tbri5511 Initially I begged and what not... but she insisted that 1. We're different in terms of love languages. 2. She couldn't see a future with me. 3. Long distance wasn't really her thing. After starting no contact, I toughed it out to resist the urge not to talk to her. Did so so for a month then I gave in into checking her social media and what I found was that she took up all her new guy's hobbies, followed his instagram styles... Like an account for personal life and another strictly for travelling pictures and so on. Oh my it really felt like I deserved the shittiest type of reward for loving such woman. But after talking with my parents and close friends, looking up attachment styles and issues, I learned to channel those hatreds into energy for hitting the gym. I am doing well but occasionally I still peep but mind you, I'm not doing it for the sake of wanting her back. Even though I've got dumped, I still care for the woman I once fell for. Nothing to be ashamed of.
Dude don’t watch your ex on social media. Best thing is to block her. Move on
Jack ahh I see that’s good that you’ve managed to channel that energy into something positive. Mine wasn’t a long distance relationship & she was telling me she saw us having a future and she wanted to part for the bigger picture. Until she then got with the boy who was there throughout the break up and she then said she doesn’t see a future it was all lies! I feel so betrayed we were together so long and had so many dreams and she’s been won over so easily by someone who’s been waiting in the wings while she split with me! Got to just focus on my personal goals and see where life takes me though. :)
I don’t understand how these things work if you’re married but separated. If we got married, OF COURSE they know you want them etc. we got married.
Don't confuse title or past history for anxiety, loneliness, and uncertainty.
The Love Chat but I am confused, lonely, and even uncertain. Should I still follow NC? I miss my wife so much
Exactly! My ex came back during this pandemic....I always thought that it was because he was lonely, and I was basically right. Everything was fine until he started using covid as an excuse...what?
Excuses how?
lolliman21 using covid and looting from the riots as to why we couldn’t hangout....
@@spookykittty are you joking?? Some had time to loot but not see his girl... covid to me is not a excuses that shit is weak.
lolliman21 right? I asked him if what we did (hooked up) ruined anything and he said he’s just been chilling because of covid, looting and the heat. He stopped putting in effort after he got what he really wanted. He’s also a dismissive avoidant is what I’ve learned. Weakass gaslighter as well.
@@spookykittty that's sad that a man is treating you like that. I struggled to see my ex during this covid shit! Broke up with me cause I wouldn't keep my distance. Me there trying and this dude trying to avoid time with his gal. This world makes no sense
Hii Rorey hope u a doing gud ua all videos are food for my heartpain....im sayng sadly dat i had comented in yesterday video ...bt no repli my bf brkd up vd me aftr10 yers...by sayng im jbless etc im depresed ....i did ll in dis relation...bt atlast nothing i wana die im in no contact in 3 mnths nd 16 dys plZ repli distime wat i suposed to do he reached afr 3 mnths simply said hii...i disnt replied bck ...nd nw he ix off till date
Hi there. Unfortunately I won't be able to get to every single comment as there are far too many people. It sounds like you have a great deal of personal work to get started on - here is a good place to start: ua-cam.com/video/7myZMWlete4/v-deo.html
I would leave your EX alone right now and get focused on you. This will help you feel better, stronger, and more attractive! It will also lift your mood & your chances for a healthy reconciliation!
@@TheLoveChat thankyou soo mch for ur repli...bt im depresed dat he vill not cum bck
Hello Friends - my link to get mental health counseling through "BetterHelp" is live: betterhelp.com/rory
If you are looking to try mental health counseling but don't have insurance, or live in a part of the world where it is harder to do then this is your chance to get the help.
I'm in talks with the company to interview one of their counselors so we can hear the opinions and thoughts of what a typical session is like, their thoughts on breakups and reconciliation with an EX, and much more. BetterHelp only employs licensed mental health professionals (State & board certified)!
I am sponsored by BetterHelp and receive a commission..