A successful relationship is fostered when a man and a woman open up to each other, respect what they share, and create a safe and cozy environment for each other
In an utopian world yes. But in reality most women don't "allow" a man to open up, because it comes with consequences later on. They will resent him for being "too emotional" if he cries or cries too often, making her think "he's not man enough" for her thus unstable while if he goes through a time of hardship. Women generally don't respond well to grown men that 'cry a little too much' from their point of view. They will laugh at him and make jokes ánd instead of helping they will tell him to "Man up!". Women expect a man to carry them emotionally and support them, not so much the other way around since they are supposed to be the rock in the relationship. Generally they start feeling a grudge towards him then and start looking for other men. This goes for a supermajority of women. It is a toxic trait which most women have, but women like to point the finger towards men for having "toxic masculinity" instead of looking at their own faults first.
Not to mention that most women who say they want a 'emotionally available' man don't actually have a clue what they're talking about. Once they get it in their face, seeing their 'big lion, that alpha, their rock' suddenly cry like a baby infront of them they get 'the ICK'. Imagine he would cry about bad days at work, complaining about coworkers, cry about the pettiest family issues, about a salt shaker he accidentally dropped on the floor and he would cry next to you at least twice every week about it. And yes we have to take the extreme example here, which really isn't even that extreme anyway, because you all know so well that many women are like this. Many even cry literally every single day. Their emotions fluctuate all over the place even within an hour. All because of the hormones right??? Imagine if men started blaming their hormones for how they feel. "Awww sorry baby, my d*ck accidently dropped inside that girl just .. well you know.. it's my HORMONES baby! I just can't help it." Women and society never accept men blaming their hormones as an excuse because they hold men to a different and higher standard. Only IF men started complaining the way women do about their hormones, maybe ... maaaaybe then it would get normalized and perhaps be accepted. But this of course will never happen since men are not build to complain, which directly ties into this whole thing I'm explaining here. So again, we take that 'extreme' example, because thát is exactly what being OPEN means. Being able to say ANYTHING about our feelings. Men know from experience women start behaving different when he admits certain things about his feelings. Almost always it results in a negative outcome for him. Use some logic here why that is. Men and women are different, we look for the opposite things in eachother. Women are the emotional gender since they are are feminine. Most women are feminine. They look for a man who's complementary to them, so they are in search of masculinity and thus a man that leads them and is their 'savior' that is emotionally stable and a rock and who uses logic to lead and not their feelings. Therefor it makes absolutely no sense most women would even want an emotionally open man. It's contradicting itself to the very core. The way women generally want a man to be 'emotionally open' only exist on the premise how women want it to be. But that is not truly freely open from the man's side, but just a woman's dream on their terms. Don't confuse dreams with how reality works where you can't control how men "should" be open.
@@alexandrabackhaus-if4gm Again let's take it to the extreme here. What if he cries literally every day about "the littlest things" just because it's all too overwhelming for him. That frickin salt shaker that fell, then the spilled water over himself, then also the cat meow'ed too much. (Exactly for the same nonsense reasons women have their daily crying sessions over nothing.) Is that the guy you want to spend your life with? Do you really think you will stay with him if he does that EVERY day? Just because he feels so comfortable with you. There's plenty of guys being 5'4 tall, underweight, not confident and overly emotional like that. Are you married to one of them? See what I did there? There's always conditions for you being and staying attracted to a man and thus to the amount of crying YOU can handle from him. However you can not dictate how much emotions comes out, how often and when and where it happens.
I listen to UA-cam while I sleep. I happen to roll over and start listening to this around 4:30 a.m. . I can't fall back to sleep because I feel like for the first time in 47 years, I've been able to look at my three most significant relationships and realize why they were significant, and see patterns I've never seen before because of this guest. Thank you all so much for the mind-blowing revelation. What a way to start a Monday!!
He's absolutely right. If somebody cannot say a proper yes or a no. Then it is over. That person is not just reluctant but unsure, unavailable, and in the extreme cases manipulative.
Yes. He gave me mixed signals and hotncold treatment for 4 years. I knew he wanted to stay open, sees other women in case that someone better pops up. I was madly in love and I accepted that. He never wanted to say goodbye forever but every now and then he disappeared. In the end Is a wasting of time and great sufference
@@alice-hp7dhwhat I learned is if a man wants u he will NEVER leave u alone for another man to step in..never. If they come and go u are just who they come back to when it didnt work with the woman they were trying to actually be with😢
yes .. i am a men and see that also.. BUT you know where it comes.. everyone talks about his father and how he was never their or neglect.. reality is most times its that the mother neglected the boy when he was still too litle to remember. not just neglect also give lesser touches and lesser love ..that they are stressed out or the situation is to much and they yell for no reason..ect.. just go outside and watch how kids laughing and running and having fun.. AND the mother shouts at them to be quit or stop it.. basicly the kids experience i cannot express myself i cannot laugh have fun ect.. BUT you cannot say this at media because you are betraying woman.. they are angels. i never saw a father shouting to kids to be quit or stop to playing.. i bet it exists but i personaly never saw it. and if in the early ages the boy gets interrupt from his mother.. that changes his brain and the patterns in the brain. later people are beeing adults and saying my father was this and that.. but no one pictures out that men are thisway because of some mothers.. and on top of it its not just his mother its other woman.. the sister girlfriends or girls in the class the school teacher the kindergarten teacher the cashier the doctor ect.. THEY all trying keep boys silence and dont letting them to step up or show emotions.. and then we wounder why so many men are single or cant express themself or still childish ect.. i know i know.. men are shit.. men are pigs .. we know that.. its obvios isnt it? but how it comes that no one .. not even therapist talk about mothers.. never they talk about it.. but you can clearly see it on your relatives or friends. because we dont hold woman accountable. their are even studies who look up for this stuff .. i am not making this up.
@@syzygy4365 as long as he has muscles, is 6 ft, and has more money (or better prospects) than her. If you can meet those minimum entry requirements - it’s fine for him to show a weak side after 6 Months of dating.😁 ok, I am being a bit facetious but I am just trying to highlight the multiple dimensional requirement that even average women demand - whereas the male requirement is typically “attractive enough and cool to hang out with (low drama)”. Most men settle (just saying). Also - why are men required to validate you and get your point? Can they disagree EVER? I mean, you always make sense and have valid points? If yes - it sounds like someone with the accountability of a child.
seems like focus on the struggle for dominance.@@syzygy4365 i try to ignore it all but after decades the wife joined ''noome'' and transformed into a sexy middle age 150lb /goddess.. OMG! OMG! panic ,mode panic mode on . Why on earth would she gamble on me ; why She finally admitted she was in LUST with my penis. WTF Who knew. Contrasting this i just retired from of work permanently crippled/disable .....I couldn't' even manage sex at 350 lb.!!!!! WTF the backbone of our relations for decades was two older boys that we were never going to abandon [bad history in the extended family]. Diagnosis = disaster If i don't win her back shes gone!!!! she may not even waite???? i got to be certifiable ?....it ain't going to happen? but i realize like me that we owed it to our family to fight to the bitter end....that's where we are now and with any luck it might work ..... i will check back. the family now sees the money we put aside as investment in our future. i told the boys if nothing else, that becomes their inheritance.
This is hands down one of the best podcasts I've listened to. I'm here as a divorced, 37yrs married, 61yr old woman. I've been on a learning journey, part of the divorce story, and have practiced some of what was discussed and gleaned so much more. Thank you! 💥👏
I was kind of skeptical at first at the idea, but once she started talkin g theres no doubt- Audrey is really smart, and the questions and comments she raised was almost like she read my own mind. thank you Audrey!
I think they missed what Audrey was asking in her first question. It's extremely difficult to find someone because of dating apps. Everyone feels like they have so many options so they're always looking for the next best thing. How do you find someone who is willing to even say that we are in a relationship or recognize they are ready to be with someone? So many times guys seem like they're available only to slowly fade out within a couple months. So we see signs that they are ready but then it's gone.
Thank you for calling this out I noticed this too Like I agree with his comment that if people want to be with you, they'll show you that. And I'd add that they won't be confusing about about it, largely because they themselves won't be confused. But as far as gauging early on how emotionally available someone is - before either person really knows the other (so logically you can't actually know if you want to be with this person... You can know you're interested but not much more than that) - I think it's one of those very tricky things that unfortunately we can only control by controlling how emotionally available we are to ourselves. If you treat yourself terribly, it'll suck and hurt if someone Else does the same, and you may even protest, but on some level it will feel normal for you. So you have to denormalize it in advance, and that's how you'll pick up on bullshit early. I honestly think it's the hardest thing any of us can ever learn how to do
I gave up on Dating Apps very quickly. It felt like being in a catalog for mail order brides. Or a place to look for hook-ups. But it still took me awhile to break old patterns from past relationships. And even longer to feel my own worth and to create boundaries and stick to my standards.
I think women are meeting men who are happy just 'dating' around. Its not until a man decides he wants a family most times he will settle for just one woman. Thats because he wants kids etc..thats pretty rare now. I also think if a man thinks u are WAY above his level he will commit which is also rare
This helped me enormously. Been working on healing for the last decade and this helped me to “get it” in a deep way. Thank you thank you. Amazing how you can hear stuff but at some times you “hear” it differently to catapult one to another level.
Great video, there is nothing like a perfect marriage or relationship. What works for Adam might not work for peter. I However learnt that in everything there is always a solution, 5 years ago I and my wife divorced because we were having some difficulties in our marriage but we are back together ,it was a really bad phase but we got through it
there is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things
its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is Suzanne Ann Walters
I wish I could have watched this with my ex-boyfriend. Such a great topic to share, it raises that same question for both people, which could save any relationship. All of the things that he mentioned, were happening with him. Sadly, I only found out after we broke up, that he was neglected, which led to more complications, in his life. However, 27 years clean, but there’s a lot that’s hidden, yet he denied it. I hope he will get help, as I suggested, because if not, it will just repeat. Thank you Matthew, for hitting on subjects that give our exhausted minds, a sigh of relief. ❤😊
I feel like the only people I can open up to are my siblings and my grandparents. Every other instance I've opened up with has ended in more heartache. People would twist what I said and tell lies about me, some would just stop talking to me, and even opening up to my parents about something I was experiencing resulted in fights so bad that I decided to leave home and live out of my car until I could find an affordable apartment. I couldn't bring myself to talk to them for a year. I was called manipulative and selfish for saying how I felt. All I pray for is a girl that will be kind and patient with me.
This is a sorry statement of those people you opened up to. Such a lack of integrity. Is that what is lacking in our schools? LEarning about and practicing core human values.
Consider getting therapy, it can help you untangle what are the dynamics you are experiencing and recover from the damage. No other person, no girl who is kind to you, can help you heal from what you experienced and learn how to avoid it happening again.
MY NEW ALL-TIME FAVORITE!! This resonated with me as an older, widowed woman even though the title was focused to men opening up! MORE OF #THIS PLEASE❣️
It's so beautiful that love energy of Audrey and Matthew. Energy never lies and you can't pretend it. And there is glow of love around you. It's so beautiful. God bless you and your relationship.
I love this discussion of being seen, especially those parts of us that we have hidden in order to protect ourselves from being judged as no or low value. The most therapeutic thing imaginable, we all need to be our true selves, and valued for it.
I think it's worth noting that he is saying that he has found a partner who can help him heal. And yet a lot of coaching is always telling women to heal themselves and that a guy shouldn't have to deal with that. The double standard needs to stop. Women need healing, men need healing, and they need each other to repair some of the damage that has been done.
People like this are easy to identify immediately. If a woman opens up super early tells u all her past 'hardships' etc. Run. She is trying to get u to feel safe so u do the same by making u feel 'special' saying things like 'u r so easy to talk to, I trust u...etc' In normal healthy relationships these things take alot of time. If its fast its false intimacy
This was an interesting conversation, but i really wish Rob had answered the question about how to tell the difference between someone who is genuinely just needing a secure relationship to work through the challenges and grow, and something more sinister or a person who is not really going to do the work and grow but waste our time. I have a long history of being with the second type and have even married two different full-blown NPD sufferers. Now I've done a lot of work and like to believe hopefully that i would not make the same mistake again... but the honest truth is that im not sure if i can keep myself safe from repeating the same mistakes. I have to work really hard to keep myself level-headed and with my feet on the ground. I have a sense f compassion so big that putting boundaries on it all too often feels selfish and cruel towards others. I LIVED the part of the conversation that talked about love as acceptance and accepting the less beautiful parts of yourself. My own growth, self exploration, and practises definitely align with this concept. I did inner child work (totally on my own so not sure what it looks like to other people or professionals) & that was wonderful ❤ i made peace with all sorts of things from that little girls life. I have so much love, acceptance, and gratitude towards her! She grew up with grandfathers and boyfriends of her mother who abused, neglected and molested her, she had a narcissist grandmother who controlled, bullied and manipulated everyone in the family, a mother who was passive and neglectful... she had such a horrible time and not one healthy or safe adult to turn to until she was a young teen. (Her scripture teacher always showed her healthy safe love, even though she was extremely rebellious and ill behaved. He made a difference i will never forget!) I told that little girls big safety mechanisms that its ok, they can rest now because i am here to keep her safe. When they show up, i acknowledge that she must be feeling unsafe and i start asking questions. Then i do what i need to so her safety is restored ❤ and those safety mechanisms go back into hibernation. I see them much like antivirus software. They are good to have and i want them to stay, but they generally just run in the background and only pop up to alert me when there is a problem i need to resolve.
The point that Matthew made about men and anger is honestly something I tend to ponder every now and then.... I feel as if some men just hold onto anger as a weapon. They think the anger gives them some sense power over others... other men may just be too prideful and stubborn because they don't want to admit that they need help. If I wasn't working a job where I had to interact with men sometimes, then perhaps my train of thought here would be less pessimistic at times. Some people just do not hold themselves to a high standard, or believe the worst in themselves and don't want to be convinced otherwise. I realize that not everybody is willing to be reasoned with, but at the same time, I guess holding onto some hope isn't a bad thing. Cruelty doesn't have to be the norm for society... just don't drag me down to your level or play games with me.
Rob clear up most of my questions !! Under my ignorant perspective.. lol 😂 this one was the best interview in your podcast !! 5 years since I started to become aware slowly everyday about my true self. The challenge for me was to balance of.. what I am and what I want to be in this world. ❤
Matthew, Rob, you both are amazing men! I love your authenticity, being vulnerable and courageous to share with us your struggles and flaws. Thank you!!
Wake awake at 3 am watching watching all of your videos. I want to find a partner so bad, but I can't seem to get the commitment part, the respect, or connection that I need. My story is turbulent. I have a hard time walking in confidence from all the abuse I've been through. Your channel is helping me heal. Truama can play like a story book in the back of your mind. This is ground breaking to me knowing how to find the right person and how to avoid the rest. I don't have to be afraid of love now stepping in with the right frame of mind.
I've discovered all about this stuff almost ten years ago. And it was a quantum leap in my growth. I've met a man in my fourties after a break up and some years of singletude. I deeply felt for him but he was distant, avoidant not emotionally available and probably a narc. He was also not into me but he wanted to keep me around for yesrs. Thanks for him I discovered my shadow part and my childhood issues. But I also understand that we all have the same heritance. So I thought that we shared the same soul and that I grasped his deep himself but in reality I think that he has had the same experience with other women. So the onky thing that matters in those days, is your beauty, your status, your job and so on. They are the main values that brings you a relatioship.
I'm so grateful for your guys' visibility. Your willingness to talk about your emotions and your efforts to become better versions of yourselves help women to create new stories about men (e.g., men are capable and desire to do the inner work) and I would assume inspire men to learn about themselves. Thank you for your vulnerability and authenticity. 🙏🏾
This is GOLD! ✨🏆🏆🏆✨ Thank you so much for sharing this powerful message. I’ve shared it with at least 10 people already. Much love to you. You are helping heal the world. ❤❤❤
This was fab, really validating for some aspects of myself that truly needed love right now. Thank you for Lighthousing our reality... so beautiful, and deeply appreciated 🥰
Wow. I THINK I just realised just how much I am overconsious I am aware that I soak inn the energy around me, and "look" to soothe" the potential anxious, angry, upset person in the room. This has been a bullet taking alot of my energy. Comes from childhood
I sooo appreciate this inerview. I have been in a long relationship, who caring, always checking, and trying to support Me. I dont have to guess if he loves me... yet I see there is inner healing that needs to be done. Areas were he dont know how to give me in my right place as his future wife over family and his kids. So i cant move forward. We are stuck. And possibly in the season of right person wrong time. I love him so much, and now understanding we can't force others to wanna do the inner work 🙏
Thank you for this. As a woman, even if I try to I can’t really know what it is to be a man (and it goes the other way around) so this is really needed!
That was a wonderful realization to ask yourself.. do you want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you? Because it kinda' happened to me as well. Then when this question triggered me.. I feel like a little light bulb shines in me and I was able to manage and behave to shift my thinking for my benefit .. loving myself more and believing that I am more than good enough to anyone to come into my life❤ Even actually lucky for them to have me, when they are smart enough to recognize it 😊
There were sooo many good points in the video that made finally sense of some things for me. I’ve learned A LOT! Thank you guys sooo much! 🙏🏼 There was one point which really resonated to my experience - listen to how your body responds. I have a personal experience there were times when I was lied about something but that time I believed bcz I didn’t doubt the person. But all those time it was like my heart started racing, I was not angry, i was really anxious. Eventually I came to know that those were lies at those moments. Listen to your intuition!
A very interesting point about coping with being judgemental. Two things are helping me with that: the awareness that it's what my mom would do (and I picked from her), and the really deep look inside my own life at the moment: if I am painfully judgmental about a person, what's going on for me right now? Usually I find out that my self esteem is at a low point for some reason or/and I simply don't allow myself a whole lot of things to keep universe under control. Then I do some simple relaxation techniques, like breathing or stopping for a moment, or slowing myself, and though relaxation I try to embrace the 'uncontrelledness' of the universe. Usually it helps, and gradually some traits in people that used to dysregulate me terribly start looking as just their traits I have nothing to do about, and at the same time you manage to allow yourself to step out of the rigid set of rules you conjured to keep everything safe and under control. Love the podcast and thanks for bringing up these topics!❤
I relate to this beautiful podcast. The spiritual aspect of going within is absolutely what I introspect on everyday. Silence and Tami g the mind is a huge blessing.
I Love This Episode guys ❤ and I love the question that rob asked: do you really want someone that doesn't wants you and be treated like that for the rest of your life ? But what to do when the person gives you mixed signals , ghost you for a while and he goes back to his wife but then comes back saying that he wants to give another chance that he miss you but he still keeps you blocked
Being vulnerable comes with it's share of trade offs and risks. Especially if you have encountered someone at the workplace, it's not taken very well if you show off your vulnerabilities. Remaining stoic saves you from a lot of trouble and headache. It's a double edged sword. Regardless of the challenges, I think a happy medium would be to remain open and honest with people who you feel closely connected to.
🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation: 00:15 *Free love life reset event on March 19th for a fresh start.* 01:57 *Rob Dial's vulnerability journey, childhood neglect, and impact on relationships.* 10:48 *Distancing patterns in relationships, fear of being vulnerable.* 12:29 *Therapy breakthrough: Feeling seen, fostering a deeper connection.* 15:57 *Persistence in love, discerning emotional availability, and approaching therapy.* 19:14 *Timing matters in relationships.* 20:49 *Everything happens as it should.* 21:32 *Right person, right time.* 22:54 *Pay attention to evolution.* 23:47 *No one person made for you.* 30:30 *Search for self-acceptance.* 32:35 *Love all aspects of yourself.* 37:01 *Understand your past self.* 38:13 *Dating with results: Free training for love life improvement.* 39:23 *Embrace aspects, self-acceptance, understanding childhood responses.* 41:27 *APR Method: Awareness, Practice, Repetition for self-improvement.* 44:22 *Conscientiousness, managing reactions, and understanding patterns.* 48:40 *Be curious, learn yourself, notice body signals, and shift perspectives.* 54:10 *Question: Do you want someone who doesn't want you?* 55:18 *Accepting reality reduces stress, triggers reveal areas needing growth.* 56:39 *Embrace past lessons.* 57:20 *Learn from relationships.* 57:34 *Identify life lessons.* 58:04 *Change thought patterns.* 59:39 *External success vs. internal fulfillment.* 01:00:20 *Inherent worthiness of love.* 01:03:05 *Achievements vs. inner healing.* 01:06:02 *Balancing achievement and self-worth.* 01:07:29 *The myth of external happiness.* 01:11:59 *Seek inner peace.* 01:15:09 *No destination perspective.* 01:15:24 *Nothing adds to you.* 01:15:39 *Achievements won't define.* 01:16:20 *Material possessions analogy.* 01:17:29 *Continuous learning importance.* 01:18:52 *Rob Dial's book.* 01:19:19 *Addressing relationship concerns.* 01:20:01 *Embracing personal agency.* 01:21:12 *Triggered reactions exploration.* 01:22:08 *Life as a video game.* 01:26:36 *Addressing male resentment.* 01:28:36 *Compassionate message to men.* 01:34:17 *Be a lighthouse.* 01:34:58 *Influence through actions.* 01:35:26 *Potential all-time favorite.* 01:36:36 *Mindset Mentor podcast.* 01:37:04 *Share vulnerabilities.* Made with HARPA AI
The bit where audrey said the dad brought the lil girl gifts back and thats what those texts mean to her hit me so hard. This was my childhood with my absent dad
Came just from Adam Lane Smith (licensed family therapist of 15 years) video on avoidant attachment. Every word until now seems to be about avoidant attachment 12:21 So she actually had possibly unconsciously skills as Adam says for the man to feel understood and able to open up.
I found the conversation with Rob Dial inspiring. Growth is a choice, and when a man chooses to explore himself and ask important questions, there is more of an opportunity to engage beyond the obvious projections we are often overwhelmed with in life. There are good, loving, wise, exciting men in the world. Let's open our hearts to them when they come our way. More conversations like these, Matthew. The rapport between the two of you works very well. Both you and Audrey ask the most perceptive and honest questions. Good stuff.👍🏾
and i got the double ass jackpot: a man who has finally been seen and opened up but still let me feel that he would literally jump on another woman if someone would chase him
This is really insightful. I'm seeing my very short marriage over 30 years ago in a somewhat different light. I don't think I could've changed the outcome - he was getting violent while as a new mother I was getting overwhelmed on all levels, health, career, finances - but I'm feeling sad for him, I have a bit more room for compassion.
Great video all the way through and certainly so many bigger message to learn from to do with interactions and relationships with society as a whole, and not just about men. The biggest thing I took right at the end and it’s something I always try to live by is that if you talk about stuff you’ve been afraid of, other people will have had similar experiences. Be the voice for others so that they can find healing.
Honestly you guys wow! This was an amazing conversation. Each of you asked or answered super deep important stuff and I’m very grateful. Thanks so much🙏🏻♥️
All women & men are different......if they judge u for being open/honest/vulnerable....perhaps not your person! Doesnt mean that everbody is the samel ....This interview says that perfectly! I know as a woman....i would love to find that.... 🙏🙏
two of my favorite youtubers in the same podcast, this was wonderful , i relate on absolutely each and every word, thank you, sending lots of love and appreciation from Georgia. 🥰
I showed emotions once in my mid 20s... relationship ended because and i quote "you weren't as confident as i thought" i have never been told that before or after. So ya i dont show emotion for awhile like probably a year or unless were living together. It can and does ruin relationships if it's done at the wrong time or situation so its not so simple as show emotions... we still have to calc the upside and decide if its worth it. It sucks fyi.
good video but the three bubbles thing is bothering me - it doesn't mean that they are writing to someone else. It was that they were composing/editing a text to you, but then they stopped for whatever reason and didn't send if it doesn't appear eventually. It's not indicating that you might be texting anyone else, only what you are doing or not doing in response to that exact message.
This video left me really really anxious cause i know I'm an adult who has to take care of herself. I'm the one who has to take care of this being (myself), but i don't want that responsibility. I never did. I don't want the responsability of taking care of someone (and that includes me). I don't know what to do with/about this feeling. I don't know how to be responsible for someone (and that includes me). And i don't know how to make myself want that, that responsability. I get this feeling that if i don't want to be responsible for anything that just makes me someone who is lazy and spoiled and irresponsible. Maybe im not worthy of being taken cared of.
Girls- actually you have to be strong enough to support the men and not judge and help them open up. They r too soft inside and need lots of love. Dont make them take lots of pressure of everything - sometimes performance and sometimes being a strong guy of house and sometimes the one who need to take all responsibility... Give them love, not judgement... ❤❤
Oh, please. Sounds like you’re talking about little boys, not men. Women are literally begging men to open up and hardly judging them for it. Emotional vulnerability in a man bonds a woman to him. This false narrative that we judge men who open up must stop. It’s just a lame excuse to stay closed and emotionally unavailable while blaming women. You can’t have emotional intimacy without vulnerability. And I’m not a “girl.” 🙄
@chandrahardy75 Per usually shifting blame. Women want to know it’s possible for men to be vulnerable, but women don’t want to be the one taking the vulnerability on all of the time. The men are expected to do that for the women and if a guy is overly emotional or vulnerable, it is unattractive to the women and they will even weaponize it. But again, don’t try to put yourself in the shoes of the other person, you lack of self awareness shows you can’t. You need to understand what opposite person values, not what you value as a woman imposed on the man.
@@whatevereyewant More projection and blame-shifting. You are profoundly lacking in self-awareness and are addressing the wrong woman. You also don’t speak for all women who are over 50% of the global population which means we are not a monolith, so why would you generalize about us? I raised boys to men and modeled emotional vulnerability and created safe spaces for that. I don’t expect anything from men because they stopped wanting to be providers and protectors many decades ago. And yet we are supposed to infantilize them and be their mommies regardless, except that we just reflect back their unresolved core mother wounds, but that is not my problem. It’s one that requires a therapist. You won’t get that kind of grown man coddling from me. I expect an evolved, mature man and IF a man takes care of me (that has never happened, as I am head of household), then I would reciprocate with emotional support.
@@chandrahardy75 when u said women have to beg men to open up, it shows their fear to be judged... Not telling about their own emotions doesn't mean they are emotionally unavailable when they are needed by women. So, please first understand the difference. If women want men emotionally available then they should also be available. Give them a tight hug and kiss and tell them that everything's gonna be alright. Yes mam, they are always 'little boys'. 😊
@@maggie1delhi Women are generally emotionally available; men are not. It’s the way we are socialized. What I won’t tolerate is males blaming women for their lack of emotional availability. Women are blamed for everything, even the violence that males perpetrate, including wars in which innocent women and children die. None of this is the fault of women and yes, blaming women is little boy behavior. Without the blame, it’s much easier for women to be caring and nurturing.
You made me think of something: If your partner was your child, would you accept and like those aspects of his character?? Because these are traits that can easily be passed down
Brilliant video. Just brilliant. I love your video about being happy enough and this speaks to that. You have to know yourself have peace with yourself. Be happy with yourself. Bravo.
“I do believe if somebody wants to be with you, they will take the right actions to be with you.” 16:40
Truer words were never spoken!
I really like how Audrey is definitely in her feminine energy, yet can step forward and give such great advice from a woman’s point of view ❤
A successful relationship is fostered when a man and a woman open up to each other, respect what they share, and create a safe and cozy environment for each other
Amen to this! I wholeheartedly agree!
In an utopian world yes. But in reality most women don't "allow" a man to open up, because it comes with consequences later on. They will resent him for being "too emotional" if he cries or cries too often, making her think "he's not man enough" for her thus unstable while if he goes through a time of hardship. Women generally don't respond well to grown men that 'cry a little too much' from their point of view. They will laugh at him and make jokes ánd instead of helping they will tell him to "Man up!". Women expect a man to carry them emotionally and support them, not so much the other way around since they are supposed to be the rock in the relationship. Generally they start feeling a grudge towards him then and start looking for other men. This goes for a supermajority of women. It is a toxic trait which most women have, but women like to point the finger towards men for having "toxic masculinity" instead of looking at their own faults first.
Not to mention that most women who say they want a 'emotionally available' man don't actually have a clue what they're talking about.
Once they get it in their face, seeing their 'big lion, that alpha, their rock' suddenly cry like a baby infront of them they get 'the ICK'.
Imagine he would cry about bad days at work, complaining about coworkers, cry about the pettiest family issues, about a salt shaker he accidentally dropped on the floor and he would cry next to you at least twice every week about it.
And yes we have to take the extreme example here, which really isn't even that extreme anyway, because you all know so well that many women are like this. Many even cry literally every single day. Their emotions fluctuate all over the place even within an hour. All because of the hormones right??? Imagine if men started blaming their hormones for how they feel. "Awww sorry baby, my d*ck accidently dropped inside that girl just .. well you know.. it's my HORMONES baby! I just can't help it." Women and society never accept men blaming their hormones as an excuse because they hold men to a different and higher standard. Only IF men started complaining the way women do about their hormones, maybe ... maaaaybe then it would get normalized and perhaps be accepted. But this of course will never happen since men are not build to complain, which directly ties into this whole thing I'm explaining here.
So again, we take that 'extreme' example, because thát is exactly what being OPEN means. Being able to say ANYTHING about our feelings.
Men know from experience women start behaving different when he admits certain things about his feelings. Almost always it results in a negative outcome for him.
Use some logic here why that is. Men and women are different, we look for the opposite things in eachother. Women are the emotional gender since they are are feminine. Most women are feminine. They look for a man who's complementary to them, so they are in search of masculinity and thus a man that leads them and is their 'savior' that is emotionally stable and a rock and who uses logic to lead and not their feelings. Therefor it makes absolutely no sense most women would even want an emotionally open man. It's contradicting itself to the very core.
The way women generally want a man to be 'emotionally open' only exist on the premise how women want it to be. But that is not truly freely open from the man's side, but just a woman's dream on their terms. Don't confuse dreams with how reality works where you can't control how men "should" be open.
@@R.James.a man crying wouldn't bother me.
@@alexandrabackhaus-if4gm Again let's take it to the extreme here. What if he cries literally every day about "the littlest things" just because it's all too overwhelming for him. That frickin salt shaker that fell, then the spilled water over himself, then also the cat meow'ed too much. (Exactly for the same nonsense reasons women have their daily crying sessions over nothing.)
Is that the guy you want to spend your life with? Do you really think you will stay with him if he does that EVERY day? Just because he feels so comfortable with you.
There's plenty of guys being 5'4 tall, underweight, not confident and overly emotional like that. Are you married to one of them?
See what I did there? There's always conditions for you being and staying attracted to a man and thus to the amount of crying YOU can handle from him. However you can not dictate how much emotions comes out, how often and when and where it happens.
I listen to UA-cam while I sleep. I happen to roll over and start listening to this around 4:30 a.m. . I can't fall back to sleep because I feel like for the first time in 47 years, I've been able to look at my three most significant relationships and realize why they were significant, and see patterns I've never seen before because of this guest. Thank you all so much for the mind-blowing revelation. What a way to start a Monday!!
Why were they significant?
Bravery is the key; open communication will save all kinds of relationships.
He's absolutely right. If somebody cannot say a proper yes or a no. Then it is over. That person is not just reluctant but unsure, unavailable, and in the extreme cases manipulative.
I living with this situation…….
Last one is the answer.....now a days too many of them extremely manipulative.
Yes. He gave me mixed signals and hotncold treatment for 4 years. I knew he wanted to stay open, sees other women in case that someone better pops up. I was madly in love and I accepted that. He never wanted to say goodbye forever but every now and then he disappeared. In the end Is a wasting of time and great sufference
This is what I've gone through in my last situationship, very avoidant.
@@alice-hp7dhwhat I learned is if a man wants u he will NEVER leave u alone for another man to step in..never. If they come and go u are just who they come back to when it didnt work with the woman they were trying to actually be with😢
Love men who can show feelings. Makes you more attractive.
And the men who can validate your emotions and get your point. It's so rare these days, but they're out there. ❤
yes .. i am a men and see that also..
BUT you know where it comes..
everyone talks about his father and how he was never their or neglect.. reality is most times its that the mother neglected the boy when he was still too litle to remember. not just neglect also give lesser touches and lesser love ..that they are stressed out or the situation is to much and they yell for no reason..ect.. just go outside and watch how kids laughing and running and having fun.. AND the mother shouts at them to be quit or stop it.. basicly the kids experience i cannot express myself i cannot laugh have fun ect..
BUT you cannot say this at media because you are betraying woman.. they are angels. i never saw a father shouting to kids to be quit or stop to playing.. i bet it exists but i personaly never saw it.
and if in the early ages the boy gets interrupt from his mother.. that changes his brain and the patterns in the brain. later people are beeing adults and saying my father was this and that.. but no one pictures out that men are thisway because of some mothers.. and on top of it its not just his mother its other woman.. the sister girlfriends or girls in the class the school teacher the kindergarten teacher the cashier the doctor ect.. THEY all trying keep boys silence and dont letting them to step up or show emotions.. and then we wounder why so many men are single or cant express themself or still childish ect..
i know i know.. men are shit.. men are pigs .. we know that.. its obvios isnt it? but how it comes that no one .. not even therapist talk about mothers.. never they talk about it.. but you can clearly see it on your relatives or friends. because we dont hold woman accountable. their are even studies who look up for this stuff .. i am not making this up.
@@syzygy4365 as long as he has muscles, is 6 ft, and has more money (or better prospects) than her. If you can meet those minimum entry requirements - it’s fine for him to show a weak side after 6 Months of dating.😁 ok, I am being a bit facetious but I am just trying to highlight the multiple dimensional requirement that even average women demand - whereas the male requirement is typically “attractive enough and cool to hang out with (low drama)”. Most men settle (just saying).
Also - why are men required to validate you and get your point? Can they disagree EVER? I mean, you always make sense and have valid points? If yes - it sounds like someone with the accountability of a child.
seems like focus on the struggle for dominance.@@syzygy4365
i try to ignore it all but after decades the wife joined ''noome'' and transformed into a sexy middle age 150lb /goddess.. OMG! OMG! panic ,mode panic mode on . Why on earth would she gamble on me ; why
She finally admitted she was in LUST with my penis. WTF Who knew.
Contrasting this i just retired from of work permanently crippled/disable .....I couldn't' even manage sex at 350 lb.!!!!!
WTF the backbone of our relations for decades was two older boys that we were never going to abandon [bad history in the extended family].
Diagnosis = disaster If i don't win her back shes gone!!!! she may not even waite????
i got to be certifiable ?....it ain't going to happen? but i realize like me that
we owed it to our family to fight to the bitter end....that's where we are now and with any luck it might work ..... i will check back. the family now sees the money we put aside as investment in our future. i told the boys if nothing else, that becomes their inheritance.
@@trollmctroll Why?
Audrey is so gentle and SO insightful. She brings a tremendous amount of value to these conversations. Loved listen ing to what she had to say here. ❤
Most powerful question E-V-E-R: "Do you really want someone who doesn't want you?"
This is hands down one of the best podcasts I've listened to. I'm here as a divorced, 37yrs married, 61yr old woman. I've been on a learning journey, part of the divorce story, and have practiced some of what was discussed and gleaned so much more. Thank you! 💥👏
Audrey has brought so much additional value to this channel.
Audrey is a gem, indeed.
Yes, more Audrey! As a guy I sometimes find her wisdom even more useful than Matt’s 😂
I loooove Audrey!!! 😊
I was kind of skeptical at first at the idea, but once she started talkin g theres no doubt- Audrey is really smart, and the questions and comments she raised was almost like she read my own mind. thank you Audrey!
@@ksjanna I think she brings a much needed woman's point of view.
Wow what an amazing interview. I needed to hear this “why would you want someone that doesn’t want you” 😢
Always respect if someone does no want you , be brave accept it and trust me someone else will love yourself first ❤
I think they missed what Audrey was asking in her first question. It's extremely difficult to find someone because of dating apps. Everyone feels like they have so many options so they're always looking for the next best thing. How do you find someone who is willing to even say that we are in a relationship or recognize they are ready to be with someone? So many times guys seem like they're available only to slowly fade out within a couple months. So we see signs that they are ready but then it's gone.
Thank you for calling this out I noticed this too
Like I agree with his comment that if people want to be with you, they'll show you that. And I'd add that they won't be confusing about about it, largely because they themselves won't be confused.
But as far as gauging early on how emotionally available someone is - before either person really knows the other (so logically you can't actually know if you want to be with this person... You can know you're interested but not much more than that) - I think it's one of those very tricky things that unfortunately we can only control by controlling how emotionally available we are to ourselves. If you treat yourself terribly, it'll suck and hurt if someone Else does the same, and you may even protest, but on some level it will feel normal for you.
So you have to denormalize it in advance, and that's how you'll pick up on bullshit early. I honestly think it's the hardest thing any of us can ever learn how to do
I gave up on Dating Apps very quickly. It felt like being in a catalog for mail order brides. Or a place to look for hook-ups.
But it still took me awhile to break old patterns from past relationships.
And even longer to feel my own worth and to create boundaries and stick to my standards.
I think women are meeting men who are happy just 'dating' around. Its not until a man decides he wants a family most times he will settle for just one woman. Thats because he wants kids etc..thats pretty rare now. I also think if a man thinks u are WAY above his level he will commit which is also rare
Top takeaway from this is men DO THE WORK, the biggest part of healing is when you realise what you contributed to failed past relationships.
This helped me enormously. Been working on healing for the last decade and this helped me to “get it” in a deep way. Thank you thank you. Amazing how you can hear stuff but at some times you “hear” it differently to catapult one to another level.
Great video, there is nothing like a perfect marriage or relationship. What works for Adam might not work for peter. I However learnt that in everything there is always a solution, 5 years ago I and my wife divorced because we were having some difficulties in our marriage but we are back together ,it was a really bad phase but we got through it
there is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things
its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is Suzanne Ann Walters
this is helpful, I will look her up. I hope this works for me too, I really miss her
You definitely should. You wont regret it
These people are spamming, using the same dialogue to point you to this "spiritual advisor".
This is a BRILLIANT Podcast! Thank you Matthew and Rob!
p.s. Matthew, please start working with men. They need a good example.
I want a man that opens up...I don't judge,I don't think that someone is week if opens up
I wish I could have watched this with my ex-boyfriend. Such a great topic to share, it raises that same question for both people, which could save any relationship. All of the things that he mentioned, were happening with him. Sadly, I only found out after we broke up, that he was neglected, which led to more complications, in his life. However, 27 years clean, but there’s a lot that’s hidden, yet he denied it. I hope he will get help, as I suggested, because if not, it will just repeat. Thank you Matthew, for hitting on subjects that give our exhausted minds, a sigh of relief. ❤😊
Be needs to be ready for change and help and manifest help from within. Only when theyre ready on their own time.
I feel like the only people I can open up to are my siblings and my grandparents. Every other instance I've opened up with has ended in more heartache. People would twist what I said and tell lies about me, some would just stop talking to me, and even opening up to my parents about something I was experiencing resulted in fights so bad that I decided to leave home and live out of my car until I could find an affordable apartment. I couldn't bring myself to talk to them for a year. I was called manipulative and selfish for saying how I felt. All I pray for is a girl that will be kind and patient with me.
This is a sorry statement of those people you opened up to. Such a lack of integrity. Is that what is lacking in our schools? LEarning about and practicing core human values.
Consider getting therapy, it can help you untangle what are the dynamics you are experiencing and recover from the damage. No other person, no girl who is kind to you, can help you heal from what you experienced and learn how to avoid it happening again.
MY NEW ALL-TIME FAVORITE!!
This resonated with me as an older, widowed woman even though the title was focused to men opening up! MORE OF #THIS PLEASE❣️
It's so beautiful that love energy of Audrey and Matthew. Energy never lies and you can't pretend it. And there is glow of love around you. It's so beautiful. God bless you and your relationship.
I love this discussion of being seen, especially those parts of us that we have hidden in order to protect ourselves from being judged as no or low value. The most therapeutic thing imaginable, we all need to be our true selves, and valued for it.
no matter what, if you like someone, you will want a relationship with them, if you don’t really like them, you will make excuses to breakup with them
I do the same practice when I have judgmental thoughts 💭 I feel relieved to hear I’m not alone but you know what I got better 😊
This is no exegerration - I thought I was already at my peak of conscientiousness but this podcast has changed my life
I think it's worth noting that he is saying that he has found a partner who can help him heal. And yet a lot of coaching is always telling women to heal themselves and that a guy shouldn't have to deal with that. The double standard needs to stop. Women need healing, men need healing, and they need each other to repair some of the damage that has been done.
"Anything you say can & will be used against you"
People like this are easy to identify immediately. If a woman opens up super early tells u all her past 'hardships' etc. Run. She is trying to get u to feel safe so u do the same by making u feel 'special' saying things like 'u r so easy to talk to, I trust u...etc' In normal healthy relationships these things take alot of time. If its fast its false intimacy
This was an interesting conversation, but i really wish Rob had answered the question about how to tell the difference between someone who is genuinely just needing a secure relationship to work through the challenges and grow, and something more sinister or a person who is not really going to do the work and grow but waste our time.
I have a long history of being with the second type and have even married two different full-blown NPD sufferers.
Now I've done a lot of work and like to believe hopefully that i would not make the same mistake again... but the honest truth is that im not sure if i can keep myself safe from repeating the same mistakes.
I have to work really hard to keep myself level-headed and with my feet on the ground. I have a sense f compassion so big that putting boundaries on it all too often feels selfish and cruel towards others.
I LIVED the part of the conversation that talked about love as acceptance and accepting the less beautiful parts of yourself. My own growth, self exploration, and practises definitely align with this concept.
I did inner child work (totally on my own so not sure what it looks like to other people or professionals) & that was wonderful ❤ i made peace with all sorts of things from that little girls life. I have so much love, acceptance, and gratitude towards her!
She grew up with grandfathers and boyfriends of her mother who abused, neglected and molested her, she had a narcissist grandmother who controlled, bullied and manipulated everyone in the family, a mother who was passive and neglectful... she had such a horrible time and not one healthy or safe adult to turn to until she was a young teen. (Her scripture teacher always showed her healthy safe love, even though she was extremely rebellious and ill behaved. He made a difference i will never forget!)
I told that little girls big safety mechanisms that its ok, they can rest now because i am here to keep her safe. When they show up, i acknowledge that she must be feeling unsafe and i start asking questions. Then i do what i need to so her safety is restored ❤ and those safety mechanisms go back into hibernation.
I see them much like antivirus software. They are good to have and i want them to stay, but they generally just run in the background and only pop up to alert me when there is a problem i need to resolve.
The point that Matthew made about men and anger is honestly something I tend to ponder every now and then.... I feel as if some men just hold onto anger as a weapon. They think the anger gives them some sense power over others... other men may just be too prideful and stubborn because they don't want to admit that they need help. If I wasn't working a job where I had to interact with men sometimes, then perhaps my train of thought here would be less pessimistic at times. Some people just do not hold themselves to a high standard, or believe the worst in themselves and don't want to be convinced otherwise.
I realize that not everybody is willing to be reasoned with, but at the same time, I guess holding onto some hope isn't a bad thing. Cruelty doesn't have to be the norm for society... just don't drag me down to your level or play games with me.
it's not what he said... it's how i received it 😍 sooooo true
If we are seeking peace we will eventually find peace. Fantastic
Rob clear up most of my questions !! Under my ignorant perspective.. lol 😂 this one was the best interview in your podcast !!
5 years since I started to become aware slowly everyday about my true self. The challenge for me was to balance of.. what I am and what I want to be in this world. ❤
Oh my goodness!! this interview was amazing! When Rob talks about the texting and not feeling good enough really got to me, wow!
Matthew, Rob, you both are amazing men! I love your authenticity, being vulnerable and courageous to share with us your struggles and flaws. Thank you!!
Audrey's points and comments starting at 28:00 is on point!
I started this episode when it first came out but got interrupted . I am so glad it popped up again. Such a wealth of ideas. Great conversations.
What a powerful podcast. My heart and brain is full. ❤
Wake awake at 3 am watching watching all of your videos. I want to find a partner so bad, but I can't seem to get the commitment part, the respect, or connection that I need. My story is turbulent. I have a hard time walking in confidence from all the abuse I've been through. Your channel is helping me heal. Truama can play like a story book in the back of your mind. This is ground breaking to me knowing how to find the right person and how to avoid the rest. I don't have to be afraid of love now stepping in with the right frame of mind.
I've discovered all about this stuff almost ten years ago. And it was a quantum leap in my growth. I've met a man in my fourties after a break up and some years of singletude. I deeply felt for him but he was distant, avoidant not emotionally available and probably a narc. He was also not into me but he wanted to keep me around for yesrs. Thanks for him I discovered my shadow part and my childhood issues. But I also understand that we all have the same heritance.
So I thought that we shared the same soul and that I grasped his deep himself but in reality I think that he has had the same experience with other women. So the onky thing that matters in those days, is your beauty, your status, your job and so on. They are the main values that brings you a relatioship.
I'm so grateful for your guys' visibility. Your willingness to talk about your emotions and your efforts to become better versions of yourselves help women to create new stories about men (e.g., men are capable and desire to do the inner work) and I would assume inspire men to learn about themselves. Thank you for your vulnerability and authenticity. 🙏🏾
This is absolutely one of the best episodes I’ve ever watched. So much truth and honesty. Thank you ❤
This is GOLD! ✨🏆🏆🏆✨ Thank you so much for sharing this powerful message. I’ve shared it with at least 10 people already. Much love to you. You are helping heal the world.
❤❤❤
This was fab, really validating for some aspects of myself that truly needed love right now. Thank you for Lighthousing our reality... so beautiful, and deeply appreciated 🥰
Wow! Thanks for sharing this beautiful conversation. I am healing through a break up and this is medicine for my aching soul
Wow. I THINK I just realised just how much I am overconsious I am aware that I soak inn the energy around me, and "look" to soothe" the potential anxious, angry, upset person in the room. This has been a bullet taking alot of my energy. Comes from childhood
Ameeennn yesss... we need to bring men and women together, not make our differences the focus .. we all wanna come together as unity 🤝 ❤🙏
I sooo appreciate this inerview. I have been in a long relationship, who caring, always checking, and trying to support
Me. I dont have to guess if he loves me... yet I see there is inner healing that needs to be done. Areas were he dont know how to give me in my right place as his future wife over family and his kids. So i cant move forward. We are stuck. And possibly in the season of right person wrong time. I love him so much, and now understanding we can't force others to wanna do the inner work 🙏
I am so glad when I find the man who also isn’t afraid to show me vulnerability
Thank you for this. As a woman, even if I try to I can’t really know what it is to be a man (and it goes the other way around) so this is really needed!
That was a wonderful realization to ask yourself.. do you want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you?
Because it kinda' happened to me as well.
Then when this question triggered me.. I feel like a little light bulb shines in me and I was able to manage and behave to shift my thinking for my benefit .. loving myself more and believing that I am more than good enough to anyone to come into my life❤
Even actually lucky for them to have me, when they are smart enough to recognize it 😊
There were sooo many good points in the video that made finally sense of some things for me. I’ve learned A LOT!
Thank you guys sooo much! 🙏🏼
There was one point which really resonated to my experience - listen to how your body responds.
I have a personal experience there were times when I was lied about something but that time I believed bcz I didn’t doubt the person. But all those time it was like my heart started racing, I was not angry, i was really anxious.
Eventually I came to know that those were lies at those moments.
Listen to your intuition!
A very interesting point about coping with being judgemental. Two things are helping me with that: the awareness that it's what my mom would do (and I picked from her), and the really deep look inside my own life at the moment: if I am painfully judgmental about a person, what's going on for me right now? Usually I find out that my self esteem is at a low point for some reason or/and I simply don't allow myself a whole lot of things to keep universe under control. Then I do some simple relaxation techniques, like breathing or stopping for a moment, or slowing myself, and though relaxation I try to embrace the 'uncontrelledness' of the universe. Usually it helps, and gradually some traits in people that used to dysregulate me terribly start looking as just their traits I have nothing to do about, and at the same time you manage to allow yourself to step out of the rigid set of rules you conjured to keep everything safe and under control.
Love the podcast and thanks for bringing up these topics!❤
Matthew, you chose your wife well. She's amazingly clever. Love listening to her insights!
I cried the whole video. Very confronting.
I relate to this beautiful podcast. The spiritual aspect of going within is absolutely what I introspect on everyday. Silence and Tami g the mind is a huge blessing.
This episode is so precious. So deep than the other ones. Thanks!
Men are the change men and women need. Anger cannot be the only acceptable emotion in men. I've seen it over and over again.
Just because parents are together for a long time doesnt mean they are loving. Mine were married for 30 years and were not loving at all.
I Love This Episode guys ❤ and I love the question that rob asked: do you really want someone that doesn't wants you and be treated like that for the rest of your life ? But what to do when the person gives you mixed signals , ghost you for a while and he goes back to his wife but then comes back saying that he wants to give another chance that he miss you but he still keeps you blocked
Being vulnerable comes with it's share of trade offs and risks. Especially if you have encountered someone at the workplace, it's not taken very well if you show off your vulnerabilities. Remaining stoic saves you from a lot of trouble and headache. It's a double edged sword.
Regardless of the challenges, I think a happy medium would be to remain open and honest with people who you feel closely connected to.
🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation:
00:15 *Free love life reset event on March 19th for a fresh start.*
01:57 *Rob Dial's vulnerability journey, childhood neglect, and impact on relationships.*
10:48 *Distancing patterns in relationships, fear of being vulnerable.*
12:29 *Therapy breakthrough: Feeling seen, fostering a deeper connection.*
15:57 *Persistence in love, discerning emotional availability, and approaching therapy.*
19:14 *Timing matters in relationships.*
20:49 *Everything happens as it should.*
21:32 *Right person, right time.*
22:54 *Pay attention to evolution.*
23:47 *No one person made for you.*
30:30 *Search for self-acceptance.*
32:35 *Love all aspects of yourself.*
37:01 *Understand your past self.*
38:13 *Dating with results: Free training for love life improvement.*
39:23 *Embrace aspects, self-acceptance, understanding childhood responses.*
41:27 *APR Method: Awareness, Practice, Repetition for self-improvement.*
44:22 *Conscientiousness, managing reactions, and understanding patterns.*
48:40 *Be curious, learn yourself, notice body signals, and shift perspectives.*
54:10 *Question: Do you want someone who doesn't want you?*
55:18 *Accepting reality reduces stress, triggers reveal areas needing growth.*
56:39 *Embrace past lessons.*
57:20 *Learn from relationships.*
57:34 *Identify life lessons.*
58:04 *Change thought patterns.*
59:39 *External success vs. internal fulfillment.*
01:00:20 *Inherent worthiness of love.*
01:03:05 *Achievements vs. inner healing.*
01:06:02 *Balancing achievement and self-worth.*
01:07:29 *The myth of external happiness.*
01:11:59 *Seek inner peace.*
01:15:09 *No destination perspective.*
01:15:24 *Nothing adds to you.*
01:15:39 *Achievements won't define.*
01:16:20 *Material possessions analogy.*
01:17:29 *Continuous learning importance.*
01:18:52 *Rob Dial's book.*
01:19:19 *Addressing relationship concerns.*
01:20:01 *Embracing personal agency.*
01:21:12 *Triggered reactions exploration.*
01:22:08 *Life as a video game.*
01:26:36 *Addressing male resentment.*
01:28:36 *Compassionate message to men.*
01:34:17 *Be a lighthouse.*
01:34:58 *Influence through actions.*
01:35:26 *Potential all-time favorite.*
01:36:36 *Mindset Mentor podcast.*
01:37:04 *Share vulnerabilities.*
Made with HARPA AI
The bit where audrey said the dad brought the lil girl gifts back and thats what those texts mean to her hit me so hard. This was my childhood with my absent dad
Came just from Adam Lane Smith (licensed family therapist of 15 years) video on avoidant attachment. Every word until now seems to be about avoidant attachment 12:21
So she actually had possibly unconsciously skills as Adam says for the man to feel understood and able to open up.
What he's saying is learn how to introspect, develop awareness and practice mindfulness and empathy!
Hands down absolute FAVORITE! Thank you🙏🫶
I found the conversation with Rob Dial inspiring. Growth is a choice, and when a man chooses to explore himself and ask important questions, there is more of an opportunity to engage beyond the obvious projections we are often overwhelmed with in life.
There are good, loving, wise, exciting men in the world. Let's open our hearts to them when they come our way.
More conversations like these, Matthew. The rapport between the two of you works very well. Both you and Audrey ask the most perceptive and honest questions. Good stuff.👍🏾
Amen! 🙏
and i got the double ass jackpot: a man who has finally been seen and opened up but still let me feel that he would literally jump on another woman if someone would chase him
This is really insightful. I'm seeing my very short marriage over 30 years ago in a somewhat different light. I don't think I could've changed the outcome - he was getting violent while as a new mother I was getting overwhelmed on all levels, health, career, finances - but I'm feeling sad for him, I have a bit more room for compassion.
Thanks for such an incredible conversation! This was definitely one of my favorites!
Thank you. The timing of this video is impeccable ❤
Great video all the way through and certainly so many bigger message to learn from to do with interactions and relationships with society as a whole, and not just about men. The biggest thing I took right at the end and it’s something I always try to live by is that if you talk about stuff you’ve been afraid of, other people will have had similar experiences. Be the voice for others so that they can find healing.
My father only beat me few times, but it was deeply damaging.
The rest is 100% same for me.
Sorry for you loss of childhood Rob
Honestly you guys wow! This was an amazing conversation. Each of you asked or answered super deep important stuff and I’m very grateful. Thanks so much🙏🏻♥️
Thanks a lot for sharing, really great job! 👍😄👏
👌🙏
@@casablanca6295 👍😍🙌
@@casablanca6295 thanks! 👍😍🙌
@ casablanca6295 thanks! 👍🤩🙏
@@casablanca6295 thanks! 👍
I think Audry is a SATC fan based on some of the things she has said/examples she uses -- girl, this makes me love you even more!!
I have seen already quiet some interviews from you , but this one strikes me right in the heart! Thank you so much!
How much of this podcast actually addresses "Why Men Don't Open Up?" Not much.
All women & men are different......if they judge u for being open/honest/vulnerable....perhaps not your person! Doesnt mean that everbody is the samel ....This interview says that perfectly! I know as a woman....i would love to find that.... 🙏🙏
two of my favorite youtubers in the same podcast, this was wonderful , i relate on absolutely each and every word, thank you, sending lots of love and appreciation from Georgia. 🥰
Thank you to Audrey, the questions you asked were very insightful!
Fantastic video! Very useful at this time in my journey. Thank you!
I showed emotions once in my mid 20s... relationship ended because and i quote "you weren't as confident as i thought" i have never been told that before or after. So ya i dont show emotion for awhile like probably a year or unless were living together. It can and does ruin relationships if it's done at the wrong time or situation so its not so simple as show emotions... we still have to calc the upside and decide if its worth it. It sucks fyi.
Emotionally mature women can hold space for their men and their emotions without it affecting the way they see his confidence.
good video but the three bubbles thing is bothering me - it doesn't mean that they are writing to someone else. It was that they were composing/editing a text to you, but then they stopped for whatever reason and didn't send if it doesn't appear eventually. It's not indicating that you might be texting anyone else, only what you are doing or not doing in response to that exact message.
This video left me really really anxious cause i know I'm an adult who has to take care of herself. I'm the one who has to take care of this being (myself), but i don't want that responsibility. I never did. I don't want the responsability of taking care of someone (and that includes me). I don't know what to do with/about this feeling. I don't know how to be responsible for someone (and that includes me). And i don't know how to make myself want that, that responsability. I get this feeling that if i don't want to be responsible for anything that just makes me someone who is lazy and spoiled and irresponsible. Maybe im not worthy of being taken cared of.
Girls- actually you have to be strong enough to support the men and not judge and help them open up.
They r too soft inside and need lots of love. Dont make them take lots of pressure of everything - sometimes performance and sometimes being a strong guy of house and sometimes the one who need to take all responsibility...
Give them love, not judgement... ❤❤
Oh, please. Sounds like you’re talking about little boys, not men. Women are literally begging men to open up and hardly judging them for it. Emotional vulnerability in a man bonds a woman to him. This false narrative that we judge men who open up must stop. It’s just a lame excuse to stay closed and emotionally unavailable while blaming women. You can’t have emotional intimacy without vulnerability. And I’m not a “girl.” 🙄
@chandrahardy75 Per usually shifting blame. Women want to know it’s possible for men to be vulnerable, but women don’t want to be the one taking the vulnerability on all of the time. The men are expected to do that for the women and if a guy is overly emotional or vulnerable, it is unattractive to the women and they will even weaponize it. But again, don’t try to put yourself in the shoes of the other person, you lack of self awareness shows you can’t. You need to understand what opposite person values, not what you value as a woman imposed on the man.
@@whatevereyewant More projection and blame-shifting. You are profoundly lacking in self-awareness and are addressing the wrong woman. You also don’t speak for all women who are over 50% of the global population which means we are not a monolith, so why would you generalize about us? I raised boys to men and modeled emotional vulnerability and created safe spaces for that. I don’t expect anything from men because they stopped wanting to be providers and protectors many decades ago. And yet we are supposed to infantilize them and be their mommies regardless, except that we just reflect back their unresolved core mother wounds, but that is not my problem. It’s one that requires a therapist. You won’t get that kind of grown man coddling from me. I expect an evolved, mature man and IF a man takes care of me (that has never happened, as I am head of household), then I would reciprocate with emotional support.
@@chandrahardy75 when u said women have to beg men to open up, it shows their fear to be judged... Not telling about their own emotions doesn't mean they are emotionally unavailable when they are needed by women. So, please first understand the difference.
If women want men emotionally available then they should also be available. Give them a tight hug and kiss and tell them that everything's gonna be alright. Yes mam, they are always 'little boys'. 😊
@@maggie1delhi Women are generally emotionally available; men are not. It’s the way we are socialized. What I won’t tolerate is males blaming women for their lack of emotional availability. Women are blamed for everything, even the violence that males perpetrate, including wars in which innocent women and children die. None of this is the fault of women and yes, blaming women is little boy behavior. Without the blame, it’s much easier for women to be caring and nurturing.
Smart guest.Simiral pathologies You talk about,exist in Polan(like listening loud you tuce)etc
How I love this podcast! Thank you so much for this depth of discussion and insights.
Can’t always know when someone is lying.
You made me think of something: If your partner was your child, would you accept and like those aspects of his character?? Because these are traits that can easily be passed down
I subscribed to Rob's podcasts,,,,,,,I can't wait to catch up! This was GREAT Matthew - thank you as always.....
If you're not anxious about it you feel resigned to the point of depression.
Audrey. that's me, I have given up on dating and I now enjoy my own company.
Same here...
This podcast was def an amazing resource we can all use to better ourselves!! Great info guys! Thank you
Omg. I just love how ppl blame on their parents!!
Brilliant video. Just brilliant. I love your video about being happy enough and this speaks to that. You have to know yourself have peace with yourself. Be happy with yourself. Bravo.
Wowwwwww, this is amazing podcast. Learned sooooo much 😢😢😢😢, thank you allllll ❤️🌹❤️!!!
Amazing talk… one of the best talks I’ve heard in a long time from both men and women’s perspectives
That was by far sooo excellent! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️