The Unintelligible Doctor | ASMR

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  • Опубліковано 21 гру 2024

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  • @oogabooga5732
    @oogabooga5732 6 років тому +10644

    "Give it to me straight doc, am I gonna make it?"
    "Suhungingushu"
    "Oh dear God"

    • @glumjosh7352
      @glumjosh7352 6 років тому +163

      FPS NubScrub underrated ass comment

    • @LoserSnoozer
      @LoserSnoozer 6 років тому +47

      ~plays fortnite till the start of season 5, the day that we die~

    • @totallynotamelon8094
      @totallynotamelon8094 6 років тому +58

      Best comment I've seen in a while

    • @Cultureghost
      @Cultureghost 6 років тому +92

      “Nu, SuhungingushUIO”
      “Ohhhh, well thats great news!”

    • @the_protectorof_smols3563
      @the_protectorof_smols3563 6 років тому +29

      You have butt cancer! Oh noes!

  • @disorganizedbones8139
    @disorganizedbones8139 4 роки тому +4484

    Me: "so Doc am I healthy?"
    Doctor very quietly: *"vroom vroom"*

    • @kingpuddles1404
      @kingpuddles1404 4 роки тому +202

      idk why but im laughing so hard my caruncles hurt

    • @bananaphoneproductions
      @bananaphoneproductions 4 роки тому +42

      @@kingpuddles1404 caru- what now

    • @kingpuddles1404
      @kingpuddles1404 4 роки тому +75

      @@bananaphoneproductions it’s a reference to another ER vid

    • @axolotl9522
      @axolotl9522 4 роки тому +43

      He’s going to hit you with his car is what he means

    • @yourmum9314
      @yourmum9314 4 роки тому +47

      Vroom vroom I’m fucking dying

  • @hadrosaur-harley9623
    @hadrosaur-harley9623 4 роки тому +5409

    This dude is the reverse of a normal doctor . He writes absolutely perfect and clear English but speaks doctors handwriting

    • @minyooooooongi
      @minyooooooongi 4 роки тому +99

      I just wanted to sleep this comment have me an extra life 😂😂😂😂

    • @lillyhejhal3726
      @lillyhejhal3726 4 роки тому +4

      Right?!

    • @wil-ba8043
      @wil-ba8043 4 роки тому +9

      Stolen 🙄

    • @gulllll
      @gulllll 4 роки тому +50

      @@wil-ba8043 oh no! Boohoo, what are we going to do about this earth shattering opinion?!

    • @colincrotty3479
      @colincrotty3479 4 роки тому +20

      Doctors : Writes Braille
      This Guy (Ephemeral Rift) : Speaks Braille

  • @jimbronson14
    @jimbronson14 3 роки тому +1908

    Goddamn my sim's medical career really took off. Good for him. He deserves it.

  • @luhastonkasperi
    @luhastonkasperi 5 років тому +1895

    You know when you're at the wrong doctor when he whips out a toy car and says *froom vroom*

    • @Dani-ry5zm
      @Dani-ry5zm 5 років тому +46

      I just read your comment and that part came, what is this sorcery?!

    • @codyafton7471
      @codyafton7471 5 років тому +5

      XD YEA

    • @lilnugget5807
      @lilnugget5807 5 років тому +48

      No that’s how you know your at the right doctor

    • @luhastonkasperi
      @luhastonkasperi 5 років тому +3

      @@Dani-ry5zm it's magic, but shhhh🤫, dont tell anyone..

    • @sylvieshuu
      @sylvieshuu 4 роки тому +4

      The right* doctor

  • @diegoisbeefy8413
    @diegoisbeefy8413 6 років тому +2884

    i just watched a grown man pull a pencil out of a bag and incoherently mutter at it in a threatening tone and put it back in the bag

    • @SnakeFruitCookieGood
      @SnakeFruitCookieGood 5 років тому +109

      Teachers when you don't do your wor

    • @kneep1111
      @kneep1111 5 років тому +112

      Comet/Shooting Star/Jewel/Snowy Paws Ocs got killed by their teacher before they could finish the comment

    • @venomasmark14
      @venomasmark14 5 років тому +22

      We not going to talk about the shaving cream orrrr?

    • @skylerrose4494
      @skylerrose4494 5 років тому +12

      It's fucking amazing

    • @sand5305
      @sand5305 5 років тому +29

      @@SnakeFruitCookieGood aw yes that happend all the time cuz i forgot my home wor aww man don't you hate it when you forget your home wor

  • @TheRedTessy
    @TheRedTessy 6 років тому +14290

    is this what a doctor's handwriting sounds like?

    • @Lyndonmaman
      @Lyndonmaman 6 років тому +722

      ochawan this is just a tad more coherent. I think the spoken version of doctors handwriting would actively forbid body language. You know, just to make absolutely sure you had no fucking clue what they were talking about

    • @sittingturtleduck
      @sittingturtleduck 6 років тому +140

      omfg best comment

    • @ThinkingGreyMusic
      @ThinkingGreyMusic 6 років тому +45

      ochawan Most underrated comment ever

    • @andygnada
      @andygnada 6 років тому +19

      kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkdrikvfikmkk

    • @BrandonSmith-dd6kv
      @BrandonSmith-dd6kv 6 років тому +24

      Facts

  • @Lucas531_real
    @Lucas531_real 4 роки тому +366

    7:41 - 7:51 4 year old me trying to explain to my parents why i shoved the fork into the outlet.

  • @100204nnfh
    @100204nnfh 5 років тому +5868

    I don’t think this mans ever been to medical school

    • @100204nnfh
      @100204nnfh 5 років тому +207

      Ahh he hearted my comment

    • @SkyanUltra
      @SkyanUltra 4 роки тому +288

      of course he hasn't, he went to nfoeubfgosdfgoh8ghertuo school instead, its much more useful than those damn medical schools, its much quicker and easier and has higher pay.

    • @DauntlessFool
      @DauntlessFool 4 роки тому +47

      Yes he did. He got on the medical school to become a doctor and to get a very bad writing letter and a very bad speaking letter

    • @Caizak_
      @Caizak_ 4 роки тому +22

      By the way hes talking sounds like he went to no schools

    • @thatreddude8796
      @thatreddude8796 4 роки тому +6

      Or kindergarten for basic english

  • @duracell9575
    @duracell9575 6 років тому +1946

    When you've been playing the sims all weekend and try to speak to a normal person.

  • @recklessspending5719
    @recklessspending5719 5 років тому +1235

    3:58 the ONLY coherent thing he said throughout the ENTIRE video was “vroom vroom”...

    • @RupertRumble
      @RupertRumble 4 роки тому +9

      Screaming 🤣🤣🤣

    • @nnnnolan
      @nnnnolan 4 роки тому +15

      Alexei be like:

    • @nymphdolll
      @nymphdolll 4 роки тому +4

      @@nnnnolan i love this

    • @zoewells3160
      @zoewells3160 4 роки тому +3

      Jäger From GSG9 They said coherent, not intelligible.

    • @nukeflower.1759
      @nukeflower.1759 4 роки тому +6

      He actually said “the car then said vroom vroom”

  • @natee2299
    @natee2299 4 роки тому +1530

    This is just a doctors appointment in the Sims.

    • @tophatzcoolness
      @tophatzcoolness 3 роки тому +10

      yeah

    • @Checho.02
      @Checho.02 3 роки тому +8

      Underrated

    • @acrazysheepdog1555
      @acrazysheepdog1555 3 роки тому +9

      He speaks like a lego character in the complete Saga.

    • @kayfendii2271
      @kayfendii2271 3 роки тому +1

      most likely

    • @xenokeegami
      @xenokeegami 2 роки тому +3

      But 1 second is 1 minute in the Sims world, so this appontment lasted 2 days and a half.

  • @lukaskarpovicius5323
    @lukaskarpovicius5323 5 років тому +4800

    *love him or hate him, but hes spittin straight facts*

    • @brertt8350
      @brertt8350 4 роки тому +45

      Ppl always shit on the minecraft enchanting table comments, but this is never questioned and I honestly dont care

    • @ryanadams9584
      @ryanadams9584 4 роки тому +6

      😔✊

    • @jayden77k9
      @jayden77k9 4 роки тому +10

      I got this to 420 likes 😎😂

    • @anselmtheweird0
      @anselmtheweird0 4 роки тому +24

      I'm too gay to understand any of what he's saying...

    • @clown6568
      @clown6568 4 роки тому +10

      h,,,hom,,,,home,,stuck-

  • @user-vy4co1fi9r
    @user-vy4co1fi9r 5 років тому +6210

    This man is speaking Minecraft Enchantment Table

    • @falcozandbergen8693
      @falcozandbergen8693 5 років тому +17

      Hahahaha

    • @xalat6277
      @xalat6277 5 років тому +16

      Lmaoo

    • @seraph8737
      @seraph8737 5 років тому +21

      now this, is meme worthy.

    • @prplskelly
      @prplskelly 5 років тому +19

      Looks like Playboi Carti got a partner

    • @xinsven
      @xinsven 5 років тому +43

      That's not Minecraft Enchantment Table. It's something much harder to understand. This language he speaks...it's Doctor Handwriting

  • @modemomo
    @modemomo 6 років тому +2405

    This guy speaks how doctors write...

    • @Kidcrowley
      @Kidcrowley 6 років тому +39

      Modemomo nailed it, that's the joke right there lmao

    • @MusclesandBooks
      @MusclesandBooks 6 років тому +33

      As someone who worked at a pharmacy in pre-electronic script days, can confirm.

    • @askjones10
      @askjones10 6 років тому +6

      Veronica Byers like you guys are told to write unintelligibly or you guys just rush or what? I want to know how you guys are always so bad at writing

    • @xXdarkninjaXx1000
      @xXdarkninjaXx1000 6 років тому +1

      am a nurse so can comfirm

    • @doubleplayer6328
      @doubleplayer6328 6 років тому +3

      Pretty sure she was a pharmacist who had to decipher scripts rather than being the one who wrote them.

  • @alyrebrown8830
    @alyrebrown8830 2 роки тому +461

    I can't tell if I'm supposed to be a different creature that doesn't understand language, a baby that doesn't know speech yet, or if this is just the doctor my budget insurance can afford

    • @jochumm6099
      @jochumm6099 2 роки тому +12

      @the man that actually explains the entire video bro wth that's genius

    • @MadamNiku
      @MadamNiku Рік тому +1

      😂😂😂❤

    • @soupfan1
      @soupfan1 Рік тому +11

      You're in another country and had a fever.

    • @angry_zergling
      @angry_zergling Рік тому

      He's speaking English, you just have some sort of traumatic brain injury or clot that pulped your language center. Ya, trying to make a joke but just thought that sort of thing seriously happens and I can't imagine how terrifying that would be.

    • @absoluteagony
      @absoluteagony 7 місяців тому +3

      all of the above.

  • @angel204bby
    @angel204bby 6 років тому +1563

    I still don’t understand why this channel isn’t more popular. You’re literally the best in the game

    • @ThreatLevel9
      @ThreatLevel9 6 років тому +88

      I mean hey, he’s definitely one of the more popular ones. Half a million subs is nothing to sneeze at

    • @noisephone4755
      @noisephone4755 6 років тому +9

      Im the GOD true true

    • @spootot
      @spootot 6 років тому +12

      There's not enough people who want to buy what he's selling so to speak

    • @zeedexo
      @zeedexo 6 років тому +22

      Maybe because some of his video are kind of wierd

    • @logannyf
      @logannyf 6 років тому +11

      Fully agree that rift should be #1, but everyone is right its hard when you cant fall back on an asmr makeup tutorial/slutty bikini asmr and most ppl who listen to asmr are female

  • @mothysjar
    @mothysjar 6 років тому +2396

    tell me doc, how much longer do I have left?
    "ᴴᵘˢʰᵍᵘⁿᵈʰʰⁿᵐˢʰ"
    Oh lord say it ain't so **loud sobbing**

    • @sloppydonger4964
      @sloppydonger4964 6 років тому +76

      *When you steal a joke from three comments above and it only gets half the likes*

    • @TheStateOfWisconsin
      @TheStateOfWisconsin 6 років тому +17

      How... How the Hell did you do that??? How did you make your letters smaller? Are those special characters???

    • @beesechurger_9678
      @beesechurger_9678 5 років тому +3

      Jar Of Jelli how do you make your comment look like that

    • @megan058jones7
      @megan058jones7 5 років тому +12

      Jar Of Jelli SAY OT AINT SO I WILL NOT GO No GeT tHoSe LiGHts OfF!

    • @JINXED_OUT626
      @JINXED_OUT626 5 років тому +4

      PROGR4M His comment was made a month before FPS.

  • @Shadowace625
    @Shadowace625 6 років тому +4640

    I know this language.
    I've played the Sims.

    • @justretrospect8433
      @justretrospect8433 5 років тому +17

      XD next meme

    • @zanderham5239
      @zanderham5239 5 років тому +31

      Well assuming the background was green-screened we wouldnt be able to see the simbob

    • @yungtrigga2989
      @yungtrigga2989 5 років тому +14

      Shadowace 625 I’ve played Animal Crossing.

    • @megacharizardkid934
      @megacharizardkid934 5 років тому +12

      I've played The Original Lego Games I know what he's talking about!!!

    • @milliee666
      @milliee666 5 років тому +3

      HAHAHHAHAHAHA

  • @soulsoswag
    @soulsoswag 4 роки тому +694

    2:01 “It is god...” *softly brushes invisible mic.*

    • @sbeazly
      @sbeazly 3 роки тому +33

      HAHAHA!! I LOVE WHEN I READ THE COMMENTS AS THE COMMENT HAPPENS IN THE VIDEO!!!🤣🤣🤣

    • @TheRoseCurse
      @TheRoseCurse 3 роки тому +8

      Love your name but personally I think the pp suc 1000 is better even though it's older...jk lol

    • @ilovemen7911
      @ilovemen7911 3 роки тому +17

      “And it’s godess,,,” *uses me as a canvas*

    • @thehermionegrangerr
      @thehermionegrangerr 3 роки тому +21

      "It taste good" *Brushes my invisible ears*

    • @maple7093
      @maple7093 3 роки тому +17

      "it is god"
      "It is Günther"

  • @derkaempfer_hd
    @derkaempfer_hd 4 роки тому +436

    Doctor:Y𝙹⚍ ⍑ᔑ⍊ᒷ ↸ᒷ!¡∷ᒷᓭᓭ╎𝙹リ
    Me: Oh thank god

    • @insertusernamehere108
      @insertusernamehere108 3 роки тому +9

      -"You have depression"

    • @Pangea1430
      @Pangea1430 3 роки тому +4

      It says: “You have Encephalocerebromeningomyelitis and have 1 month to live before dying!”

    • @gaminggod1495
      @gaminggod1495 3 роки тому +3

      @@Pangea1430 Isn't that comment in Minecraft enchantment table language.

    • @Pangea1430
      @Pangea1430 3 роки тому +1

      @@gaminggod1495 I read every thing

    • @white.walter369
      @white.walter369 3 роки тому

      @@Pangea1430 damn bro

  • @aerinpage
    @aerinpage 6 років тому +3026

    I’m just going to smile, nod and laugh and hope to God he doesn’t ask questions.

    • @jacobsworldofmusic6019
      @jacobsworldofmusic6019 6 років тому +7

      Aerin Atkins well....i hope u did well

    • @aerinpage
      @aerinpage 6 років тому +10

      MrRaymo88
      Nope.

    • @aerinpage
      @aerinpage 6 років тому +3

      MrRaymo88
      Don’t mind. But please try not to stalk me. Yes, that’s me in my picture. I’m from South Africa, that’s why it says I’m South African.

    •  6 років тому +5

      Lmao, just like in school 😂

    • @rencaelum4396
      @rencaelum4396 6 років тому +44

      Aerin Atkins No one's gonna stalk you. Women aren't that special anymore.

  • @Vianney.
    @Vianney. 6 років тому +2320

    Damn THE SIMS 5 looks dope

  • @ek7713
    @ek7713 4 роки тому +777

    When your doctor temporarily blinds himself with a little light stick thing, you've come to the right place.

    • @luhastonkasperi
      @luhastonkasperi 4 роки тому +7

      flashlight?

    • @Books_s39138
      @Books_s39138 4 роки тому +8

      Torch?

    • @qwaccc
      @qwaccc 4 роки тому +53

      “light stick thing” is the best thing i think i have ever read

    • @Books_s39138
      @Books_s39138 4 роки тому +16

      We’re stuck with ‘light stick thing’ now.

    • @ek7713
      @ek7713 4 роки тому +16

      Shhh....
      *light stick thing* 👌

  • @maksymilians931
    @maksymilians931 4 роки тому +454

    15:17 He actually says I'm just gonna

    • @speedwheel1807
      @speedwheel1807 4 роки тому +71

      He is indeed just gonna.

    • @steven_0236
      @steven_0236 4 роки тому +16

      @@speedwheel1807 yes, he truly was just gonna

    • @white.walter369
      @white.walter369 3 роки тому +4

      Thank you mr helpful

    • @type-10
      @type-10 3 роки тому +4

      @@steven_0236 he did just gonna

    • @S0bruk4i
      @S0bruk4i 3 роки тому +1

      You just forgot that you need to

  • @mateodominguez9825
    @mateodominguez9825 5 років тому +1538

    Maybe the script for this was written by an actual doctor, and he is just doing his best to try and read it.🤔

    • @crooked_mermaid
      @crooked_mermaid 5 років тому +22

      Underrated

    • @og175
      @og175 4 роки тому +4

      Mateo Dominguez funny laugh repeat

    • @Naz34452
      @Naz34452 4 роки тому +4

      How would this man remember a whole script if there are no scene cuts?

    • @s14tat
      @s14tat 4 роки тому +2

      I used to always joke that you go to pharmacy school to learn to read Dr hand writing, but all the scripts are electronic now.

    • @nopinappleshere8861
      @nopinappleshere8861 4 роки тому +1

      one of these comments that's somewhat original and funny. i thought this type of comedy died out

  • @bleachwithcereal6910
    @bleachwithcereal6910 3 роки тому +193

    Er: loses script on accident
    Also er: improvise, adapt, hğeœuđ

  • @TwiceTheGamer
    @TwiceTheGamer 4 роки тому +469

    "So, what prescription do you need pick up?"
    "I...I don't know..."

    • @marioluigi27
      @marioluigi27 4 роки тому +18

      Didn't you hear, you needed to pick up habundendamablasuanda

    • @Resi1ience
      @Resi1ience 4 роки тому +18

      @@marioluigi27 That sounds like an actual medicine tbh

  • @CTRLVCatMemes
    @CTRLVCatMemes 6 років тому +582

    Was really hoping half way through he'd pull out a phone and start speaking perfect English

    • @mikehebert71
      @mikehebert71 6 років тому +19

      Navi The Fairy that would’ve been epic I hope he does that in a sequel

    • @the_protectorof_smols3563
      @the_protectorof_smols3563 6 років тому +5

      Navi The Fairy LeL

    • @kampfh7150
      @kampfh7150 3 роки тому +8

      Ngl, that would've killed me, especially if I was falling asleep.

    • @hadeson3122
      @hadeson3122 3 роки тому +3

      Lmfao, bro yeah.

  • @NickSick665
    @NickSick665 5 років тому +726

    "Yes doctor i need hearing aids."

  • @kinnexion
    @kinnexion 6 років тому +158

    00:10 “Numushkumnurma.” Rift, we need merch with this quote on it. Please make it happen

  • @sensemmosta8019
    @sensemmosta8019 3 роки тому +122

    In the beginning he is like wall-e showing his stuff to eve, he looks so proud of them.

  • @samouse5445
    @samouse5445 6 років тому +726

    This is basically ASMR with Mr bean

    • @02iscringe55
      @02iscringe55 5 років тому +13

      *LOUD MR BEAN NOISES*

    • @koltt
      @koltt 5 років тому

      U right

    • @dogedog8686
      @dogedog8686 5 років тому +4

      SamOuse 544 Remember that episode of Mr Bean where he goes to his attic to see his car after it was run over by a tank

    • @Nevertobeseenagainlmao
      @Nevertobeseenagainlmao 4 роки тому

      SamOuse 544 i never laughed so hard at 12:45 at night

  • @MisXtUnavailable
    @MisXtUnavailable 5 років тому +450

    “Am I healthy?”
    “Os£hjd7m”
    “Damn.”

  • @BIGBOSSSAINT
    @BIGBOSSSAINT 6 років тому +514

    But his prescriptions are written PERFECTLY

    • @bookmulch7379
      @bookmulch7379 6 років тому +27

      BIGBOSSSAINT let's address the elephant in the room.... Pharmacists can understand those scribbles. They are real world MVPs

    • @cirocscott
      @cirocscott 6 років тому +5

      Thank god, you actually thought of something funny, no one else in this comment section has a brain cell to spare for a joke, you are the first I’ve seen

    • @ajlawson9795
      @ajlawson9795 6 років тому

      The human typewriter

    • @MrBeastknows
      @MrBeastknows 6 років тому +6

      TheOnlyHound You highkey got a superiority complex man. It's just a joke. No need to insult hundreds of people just because it was funny lmao.

    • @cirocscott
      @cirocscott 6 років тому +1

      Shane Benjamson my man edited his comment just to put lmao at the end😂

  • @samharris9106
    @samharris9106 4 роки тому +101

    Me: asking the doctor how bad it is
    Doctor: msghjdm
    Me: cries into hands

  • @shyler7237
    @shyler7237 6 років тому +437

    Rift should enable youtube’s amazing english subtitles for this video i’d wonder what would come out of that.

  • @wp6192
    @wp6192 6 років тому +2442

    I feel like not having subtitles was a miss opportunity.

    • @jordan-ib1ee
      @jordan-ib1ee 6 років тому +11

      NintendoWolf they’re not available

    • @jordan-ib1ee
      @jordan-ib1ee 6 років тому +65

      Joseph Siri oh fuck i actually read this while not half asleep lol i’m sorry aha

    • @toast6902
      @toast6902 6 років тому +60

      instead of that you should've just said r/woosh and played it off as a joke lol

    • @RedRannon
      @RedRannon 6 років тому +21

      Uba de Jube guh leh wen cuoh
      Makes sense to me

    • @GastArts
      @GastArts 6 років тому +9

      That would be hilarious XD

  • @BudgetYT0429
    @BudgetYT0429 6 років тому +417

    *He sounds like me in every social situation*

  • @addisonmendez3160
    @addisonmendez3160 4 роки тому +175

    The pen light was the first time I’ve ever unironically laughed during asmr

  • @szabi4140
    @szabi4140 5 років тому +372

    3:29 That was hilarious😂

  • @jacobfederici3710
    @jacobfederici3710 6 років тому +822

    Accidentally cites ancient domonic ritual and summons corvus

    • @seshgreen4084
      @seshgreen4084 5 років тому +5

      Jacob Federici the true origin of corvus

    • @queeniemae2058
      @queeniemae2058 5 років тому +9

      Bold of you to assume it's an accident

    • @jayden77k9
      @jayden77k9 5 років тому +11

      Not to be that one guy but I think it's demonic, not 100 percent sure tho...

    • @navyactor
      @navyactor 5 років тому +7

      domonic

    • @DorkzillaSM
      @DorkzillaSM 5 років тому +11

      Jacob Federici ah yes. The rituals of Dominic. Brother of David and cousin of Damian, who welcomes you back to emkay to enjoy the festivities of R/whoosh

  • @RockyLikes
    @RockyLikes 6 років тому +112

    Most docs can’t write clearly, this one can’t speak clearly, but every prescription he writes is pure calligraphy.

  • @That_Son_Ofa_Itch
    @That_Son_Ofa_Itch 4 роки тому +77

    Imagine goint to a doctor and the first ten seconds you see him, he goes. "Hmm immhimm imm imm shim a gommas a shommas." *clanks blocks together*

  • @ramennoodles8234
    @ramennoodles8234 5 років тому +324

    2:00 "It taste good."

  • @franciscochavez499
    @franciscochavez499 6 років тому +930

    What English sounds to none English speakers

    • @ЧевелевЧевелев
      @ЧевелевЧевелев 5 років тому +132

      What any foreign language sounds to anyone

    • @nonec384
      @nonec384 5 років тому +2

      Yeah

    • @nonec384
      @nonec384 5 років тому +3

      @@ЧевелевЧевелев the latter sounds

    • @TeddyBear_8346
      @TeddyBear_8346 5 років тому +18

      At first I assumed that that's Japanese, then Spanish, then Norwegian, then I gave up

    • @nonec384
      @nonec384 5 років тому

      i forgot

  • @WeBuild4Life
    @WeBuild4Life 6 років тому +152

    The is a perfect example of how I hear things sometimes and ask someone to repeat it 4 times :D !

  • @olentor
    @olentor 4 роки тому +136

    0:40 Gandolf has gintamas
    What is he trying to tell us

  • @liamjones6533
    @liamjones6533 6 років тому +235

    I feel like I’m watching a whispered episode of Pingu

  • @cian2168
    @cian2168 6 років тому +1382

    Halfway through you switch from speaking unintelligibly to speaking R'lyehian.

    • @magicmarshall8487
      @magicmarshall8487 6 років тому +161

      RIFT LIKING A COMMENT WHAT IS THIS MADNESS

    • @him9302
      @him9302 6 років тому +79

      Yeah, a bit like R’lyehian but with a lazy tongue.

    • @NanaChanASMR
      @NanaChanASMR 6 років тому +12

      Whats that .-.

    • @cian2168
      @cian2168 6 років тому +65

      Nana Chan You must be new. Welcome to ephemeral rift! Enjoy your stay. We have free cookies.

    • @NanaChanASMR
      @NanaChanASMR 6 років тому +15

      @@cian2168 T_T so is R'lyehian from another one of his videos

  • @aden2427
    @aden2427 5 років тому +230

    "mahnamahna dodo dododo" 8 months later, you can't hide it from me 33:05

  • @iamcorgi._.6887
    @iamcorgi._.6887 4 роки тому +166

    That isn’t unintelligible, he’s just speaking every language at once

  • @noahconnors8001
    @noahconnors8001 5 років тому +310

    0:40 taps two blocks together "Condom Montana"

    • @TheIronSaiyan
      @TheIronSaiyan 4 роки тому +25

      My gosh dude you have no right to make me laugh this hard at 2 AM

    • @Catoonz
      @Catoonz 4 роки тому +10

      “These condom that can tell us”

    • @thebruh9419
      @thebruh9419 4 роки тому +3

      😭😭💀💀

    • @fatkermite2451
      @fatkermite2451 4 роки тому

      😂😂

  • @tnuc5534
    @tnuc5534 5 років тому +175

    Interviewer: So what is the type of qualifications you have to become a doctor?
    Ephemeral Rift: Davnwiksuogwandoo
    Interviewer: YOU’RE HIRED!!

  • @babyD182
    @babyD182 6 років тому +180

    I know your probably won’t see this anymore.. but I’ve always wanted to comment and say that you have the “it” factor. You put so much passion into your content and you know just how to make your role plays hit the perfect mark on what makes them so intriguing to watch. Thank you for starting this channel so long ago.

    • @yeahyeah1204
      @yeahyeah1204 5 років тому +3

      Ok

    • @inkyio
      @inkyio 5 років тому +6

      him: dibipiammlmamahhvolgangamgk

    • @malachiwallis203
      @malachiwallis203 5 років тому +2

      Did need more likes

    • @malachiwallis203
      @malachiwallis203 4 роки тому

      but 69 is nice

    • @PERJHITHEOG
      @PERJHITHEOG 2 роки тому +1

      I had to say each word out loud to understand what in the world you said and I still don’t get all of it

  • @YACMSG138
    @YACMSG138 2 роки тому +63

    My man's just litterly speaking facts. All there is to it

  • @natetai2146
    @natetai2146 6 років тому +491

    Yeah I think you said it wrong. Its pronounced “Desflsaposudhelfp”

    • @thegoblet151
      @thegoblet151 5 років тому

      Garaskisus hujukiput? Ha

    • @danabowring
      @danabowring 5 років тому

      Что это

    • @tcg1_qc
      @tcg1_qc 5 років тому +3

      @@danabowring сука бьуат

    • @danabowring
      @danabowring 5 років тому

      Gamer du Québec tabarnac, ta yeule

    • @tcg1_qc
      @tcg1_qc 5 років тому

      @@danabowring ah bin criss un québécois

  • @krayne9232
    @krayne9232 6 років тому +258

    ER should make a video where Corvus cleans his mask, where since Corvus doesn't have his mask on he will sit behind the camera so all you can see is his hands, i'm curious to hear if the voice sounds different without the echo of the mask i think it would be really cool too.

    • @FlowerVagabond
      @FlowerVagabond 6 років тому +6

      Kaden yes!

    • @the_protectorof_smols3563
      @the_protectorof_smols3563 6 років тому +10

      Curious idea maybe a Halloween video?

    • @SimonJ57
      @SimonJ57 6 років тому +15

      Kaden then he faces the camera using CG to replace his face with an eldritch looking mess.

    • @krayne9232
      @krayne9232 6 років тому +1

      Yesss

    • @Wolfgal16
      @Wolfgal16 6 років тому +4

      He could use tweezers to remove all manner of perpexling horrors from the inside

  • @Jennifer-zb2ei
    @Jennifer-zb2ei 6 років тому +274

    Your mic could catch an atom flying by

    • @ognjenivanovic7871
      @ognjenivanovic7871 6 років тому +12

      Jenn 2 then it would be noisy af

    • @bookmulch7379
      @bookmulch7379 6 років тому +5

      Nevermind the thought BOOOOOGOOHSNEHEJJSNEJSIIWNQJ YWHWNWNOCOVKDBBSUWJ TJFKSOKWMWJDJFMFKIDISK
      Accurate as I can

    • @ognjenivanovic7871
      @ognjenivanovic7871 6 років тому

      Close enough. You get a golden star.

    • @LoserSnoozer
      @LoserSnoozer 6 років тому

      Bookmulch Forthegame what about.. Explosion sound(s) around me

    • @bookmulch7379
      @bookmulch7379 6 років тому

      Drii_ft come on man that's too much noise for me to hear. If I could my eardrums would be destroyed

  • @Axellarando
    @Axellarando 4 роки тому +184

    Imagine just going to the doctor
    "uh hey i think that lump on my back has gotten worse. I think it might be cancer.."
    Him " tousipotaati"
    Patient "what?"
    Him "honeskino hm ariana grande"
    Patient "i think youre having a stroke"

  • @twofacedcarp2921
    @twofacedcarp2921 4 роки тому +219

    Unintelligible doctor
    Me needing open heart surgery: chuckles I’m in danger

    • @joshualee8022
      @joshualee8022 4 роки тому +1

      I chuckled at that :)

    • @GoodOlRoll
      @GoodOlRoll 4 роки тому +1

      I get it Ralph Wiggum

    • @zerotwo6114
      @zerotwo6114 3 роки тому +1

      This made my laugh out loud at 11 at night

  • @oliverrose668
    @oliverrose668 6 років тому +322

    Me when mom asks me who the hell I think I am when I breathe a little too aggressively

    • @oliverrose668
      @oliverrose668 6 років тому +26

      And me also sulking at like 3 am and internally redoing the argument but I this time I win even though I know I wouldn’t do it next time cause I’m a lil bitch that kind of wants to live a little longer

    • @New.World.Cinema
      @New.World.Cinema 5 років тому +8

      softie r u ok there bud?

    • @willreading4958
      @willreading4958 5 років тому +1

      😭

    • @inkyio
      @inkyio 5 років тому

      I'm gay and I love your username 🌻

    • @michellehingston1118
      @michellehingston1118 5 років тому

      Your 1 year old

  • @NerdSyncProductions
    @NerdSyncProductions 6 років тому +379

    This was a fantastic idea! I love the sounds of soothing voices as I fall asleep, but I get too distracted with hearing what’s being said to actually sleep. This was a great solution! 👍👍👍

    • @bunsirose6123
      @bunsirose6123 5 років тому +2

      I would consider changing your profile picture because it reminds me of something unpleasant that happened over 100 years ago

    • @Daniel2687XB
      @Daniel2687XB 4 роки тому +2

      @@bunsirose6123 what?

    • @bunsirose6123
      @bunsirose6123 4 роки тому +1

      @@Daniel2687XB NS

    • @Daniel2687XB
      @Daniel2687XB 4 роки тому +1

      @@bunsirose6123 what about ns?

    • @bunsirose6123
      @bunsirose6123 4 роки тому

      @@Daniel2687XB google it and think about germany

  • @lyyn8545
    @lyyn8545 4 роки тому +115

    *Me trying to explain to the cashier that my mom left for second*

  • @jordanbriggs6886
    @jordanbriggs6886 6 років тому +737

    Me when i talk to my crush

  • @yvngschema6991
    @yvngschema6991 5 років тому +367

    “Yeah, I just haven’t been feeling well.”
    “Well it appears you have a pretty bad case of duhigsushjuld.”
    “Oh no... how long do I have..?”
    “Igdab.”
    “Oh no... can I go now? I need to say my goodbyes...”
    “Beegdap. Gipfrald shigdasmulp.”
    “Thank you doctor.”
    “Figdralp yertrard.”

    • @pennybrock5390
      @pennybrock5390 4 роки тому +18

      Im afraid you have a severe case of *SOVIET LIBERATION*

    • @danielnevin1547
      @danielnevin1547 4 роки тому +9

      You seem to have a bad case of 3:59 VROOM VROOM

    • @usarmy500
      @usarmy500 4 роки тому +6

      You only have 5 years left to live

    • @tsherwood2112
      @tsherwood2112 4 роки тому +3

      @@usarmy500 you may want to change your name and pic. U look like a dumbass

    • @f-14enthusiast63
      @f-14enthusiast63 4 роки тому +3

      Footy Chief why, because he’s a Trump supporter? So am I, should I change my entire life just to suit you?

  • @NoEntertainment
    @NoEntertainment 6 років тому +1062

    Let me become real as I say I read it as the "Unintelligent Doctor", which still would have sufficed for ASMR purposes.

  • @mrraichudealola9227
    @mrraichudealola9227 4 роки тому +362

    nobody:
    The only surgeon left in north korea:

  • @InsomniOwl
    @InsomniOwl 6 років тому +48

    When you're performing in front of the class and forget your lines.

  • @gravegums
    @gravegums 5 років тому +128

    I knew I was in for a ride when he pulled out a wooden spoon and said “vintage granola tatushka”

    • @nam_minji
      @nam_minji 5 років тому +11

      "tatushka" in Russian means a tattoo :D

    • @turnstilerockets
      @turnstilerockets 5 років тому +9

      So vintage granola tattoo?

    • @aprilmay4328
      @aprilmay4328 4 роки тому +4

      Ghiaccio Frame i need me one of those vintage granola tattoos

    • @croc_moat2327
      @croc_moat2327 3 роки тому +1

      Татушка?:)

    • @AJ-170SkyStriker
      @AJ-170SkyStriker 3 роки тому +1

      @@croc_moat2327 Google says you saying "Daddy"

  • @themedic7933
    @themedic7933 5 років тому +68

    0:56 "i weren't gonna tell what this is good"

  • @ryujicel
    @ryujicel 4 роки тому +46

    I CANNOT EMPHASIZE HOW HARD I LAUGHED AT THE BEGINNING OF THE VIDEO

  • @fritz9767
    @fritz9767 6 років тому +627

    Listen Doc, I have a blobgl on my stroprel and everytime I barglargl my shubeldap hurts. Can you help me?

    • @CheeseburgersAndBeer
      @CheeseburgersAndBeer 6 років тому +73

      Drink plenty of spaghetti-Os and try not to sleep anymore, should help

    • @swahilimaster
      @swahilimaster 6 років тому +47

      If it hurts when you barglargl then don't barglargle, that's just common sense really.

    • @bennygokgoye3974
      @bennygokgoye3974 6 років тому +5

      Fritz sorry i don’t speak Murloc

    • @stevenvassiliou2939
      @stevenvassiliou2939 6 років тому +3

      Is this channel a true tressure trove?????

    • @Komintepanatbra
      @Komintepanatbra 6 років тому +22

      You gotta put pressure where the shubeldap hurts and stretch the stroprel back and forth about 5 times. Do this 2 times a day until you are symptom free

  • @84est
    @84est 6 років тому +320

    pretty sure my diagnosis is dyslexia

  • @jordigeven8485
    @jordigeven8485 5 років тому +600

    Me: give it to me straight doc am I gonna be alright
    Doc: "jdkdowdsshwofjajfffowjvjaoros"
    Me: "by the gods"

    • @spellz1877
      @spellz1877 4 роки тому +15

      Stolen comment

    • @viper_7712
      @viper_7712 4 роки тому +4

      Spellz so sensitive smh it’s a joke

    • @sherlockkenway7328
      @sherlockkenway7328 4 роки тому +3

      Holy mother of Christ

    • @furiousyelp3958
      @furiousyelp3958 4 роки тому +2

      Stolen I'll just like original

    • @tgg_705
      @tgg_705 4 роки тому +3

      Bruh you just read the top comment and decided to rewrite it a little different

  • @mikeliterus8783
    @mikeliterus8783 4 роки тому +76

    6:08 me presenting my project while being high

  • @carterspringer48
    @carterspringer48 5 років тому +365

    Sir this is a Wendy’s

  • @stldiva76
    @stldiva76 6 років тому +155

    You're the best. I honestly wouldn't ever sleep without C. D. C. (Which I love btw, the plague doctor's initials lol)

    • @orthy853
      @orthy853 6 років тому +7

      Donna Diamond Center for Disease control... Damnit Rift! I love your subtle intelligence!

    • @Drizzt000
      @Drizzt000 6 років тому +1

      All these years, and I never noticed this...

    • @saud-3
      @saud-3 5 років тому

      Donna Diamond ♦️ morning a toyota has a little bit better with you play and we can make the same game and we play the play games like we do have fun with us play play with you and we play the whole team and you guys are going play with your dad to come to you for dinner 🥘

    • @purpleblunt6679
      @purpleblunt6679 5 років тому +1

      it never clicked in my head thats what his initials are

  • @tjablammobammo4801
    @tjablammobammo4801 6 років тому +145

    I started reading Lovecraft's books all thanks to you Joseph Curwen;) You're sort of a mad doctor. I can't tell what you're saying. But I thank you for introducing me to the terrors and greatly detailed stories of Howard's mind. This is my pseudonym, I'm actually Charles Dexter Ward.

    • @yordandar
      @yordandar 6 років тому +3

      Vakhtang Cervin I can relate. I absolutely adore Lovecraft's works and I love all the references ER is making :)

    • @anthonybruh1466
      @anthonybruh1466 5 років тому +4

      ERs name is Joseph Curwen?

    • @TheDude420.69
      @TheDude420.69 5 років тому

      Vakhtang Cervin do not say hp lovecrafts name out loud you might attract the neeeeerds

  • @nicolopisetta2403
    @nicolopisetta2403 4 роки тому +52

    7:10
    Me trying to explain my mom how i got 2 with an entire library under the PC

  • @shrumrii1648
    @shrumrii1648 6 років тому +87

    Hi Uncle E,
    I have a small request to make regarding future ASMR videos. Can you do more behind-the-camera ASMR, as in you lean in behind the camera to the microphone? Personally, I think it's a great visual trigger, and it's the reason why your ASMR Art of Quiet video is easily my favorite. Thanks!

  • @Rubbergalleon
    @Rubbergalleon 5 років тому +245

    Me: what do I have
    Doc: emasket elmalm
    Me: I don’t speak Spanish

    • @acidjesus8716
      @acidjesus8716 5 років тому +9

      That's Turkish

    • @acidjesus8716
      @acidjesus8716 5 років тому +6

      @@Rubbergalleon our lives is a joke

    • @viper_7712
      @viper_7712 4 роки тому +2

      Acid Jesus jesus is a joke

    • @harunz.alnaji585
      @harunz.alnaji585 4 роки тому +3

      @@Rubbergalleon wtf is this comment thread xd

    • @itsMunsta
      @itsMunsta 4 роки тому +2

      No cap this is the first comment section that I’ve gone through that aren’t toxic

  • @MCWillthegreat
    @MCWillthegreat 6 років тому +229

    Pleeeease turn on automatic closed captions.

  • @kyleb.4384
    @kyleb.4384 3 роки тому +8

    his unintelligible videos are the perfect mix of sounding like a language and sounding like gibberish, while also being extremely tingly and relaxing

  • @juliocesaralvesfernandes8158
    @juliocesaralvesfernandes8158 5 років тому +100

    When I entered the video, I tried to get the volume up to understand what he was saying
    then I read the description.

  • @lunaseadotkey
    @lunaseadotkey 6 років тому +41

    this is what i hear when someone’s telling me something important

    • @J_C_May
      @J_C_May 5 років тому

      bublygoddess It be like that sometimes

  • @kjbervin9478
    @kjbervin9478 6 років тому +91

    "What? Like the back of a Volkswagon?" Ha, vroom vroom. Love it.
    I died tingling, sir. The whole experience was an utter delight. Wonderful work, E.R., and my sincerest congratulations on 500K subscribers. We all love and appreciate your effort, creativity, and heart for this medium. Thank you so very much.
    Also, as others have commented, if you released an alternate cut of this with subtitles (goofy, legitimate, the world's your oyster), I'd be on that in a heartbeat.
    P.S. Good Professor, if you're gonna attach arms to the top of my head, making me look like a deranged moose, please ask first.

    • @jacobsworldofmusic6019
      @jacobsworldofmusic6019 6 років тому +1

      KJ Bervin when does he say that?

    • @kjbervin9478
      @kjbervin9478 6 років тому

      Jacob Harrison He doesn't. When he taps on the back of the Volkswagon model, it just makes me think of that line. Sorry for the confusion. 😋

    • @jacobsworldofmusic6019
      @jacobsworldofmusic6019 6 років тому +1

      KJ Bervin its ok no harm done 😇

    • @colonclosedparantheses293
      @colonclosedparantheses293 6 років тому +2

      NO HARM DONE?! I LOST MY ENTIRE FAMILY BECAUSE I READ THAT!!! SHAME ON YOU!!! I require compensation.

    • @jacobsworldofmusic6019
      @jacobsworldofmusic6019 6 років тому +1

      @@colonclosedparantheses293 ill give a virtual 💰

  • @marxjester9802
    @marxjester9802 4 роки тому +36

    This is actually the Swedish Chef’s brother, the Swedish Doctor. You can totally see the family resemblance.

  • @yeahyeah1204
    @yeahyeah1204 5 років тому +170

    While listening to this, a portal to Hell opened up and a demon called Zozo entered my room. He just sits in the corner and throws tins of baked beans at me. He won't leave.

    • @acro7
      @acro7 4 роки тому +14

      Yeah Yeah throw them back

    • @jdrfortnitegod
      @jdrfortnitegod 4 роки тому +4

      Same

    • @BlueRockEye
      @BlueRockEye 4 роки тому +12

      I have this weird being in my room that does this weird battle cry and punches the air. I think its name is Bob.

    • @novajohnson4302
      @novajohnson4302 4 роки тому +17

      Ah your first bean demon, don’t worry it’ll eventually run out of beans, I don’t think they’ll ever leave tho...

    • @Cherryyyy8715
      @Cherryyyy8715 4 роки тому +4

      @@novajohnson4302 Well then, better buy more beans

  • @travismccutchan3144
    @travismccutchan3144 5 років тому +79

    Well doc, the people at the ER told me I had a heart attack. If I don’t get treatment, I’ll likely have another one and it’ll probably kill me.
    Doctor: *”thekansheliuo”*

  • @erickane8163
    @erickane8163 6 років тому +101

    Alternative title:
    If doctors sounded how they wrote your prescriptions

  • @kampfh7150
    @kampfh7150 3 роки тому +12

    Honestly, it's kinda comforting hearing gabledigook from your doctor. It's a concrete confirmation that you've lost your marbles

  • @liamjones6342
    @liamjones6342 6 років тому +22

    In complete honesty E, I was disappointed that you didn't add any unintelligible timestamps, but i will never be disappointed with this purely astounding performance.

  • @Xaserix
    @Xaserix 6 років тому +285

    So you speak fluent Sims?

  • @jjdelirio1965
    @jjdelirio1965 5 років тому +29

    The first words he said in this vid was “the soups getting big”

    • @MDubz_TooFast05
      @MDubz_TooFast05 3 роки тому

      I didn’t even notice until you pointed it out😂😂😂

  • @CalebTheSchmuck
    @CalebTheSchmuck 4 роки тому +97

    Hes just too scared to tell you that you have testicular cancer

  • @marvindannenberg2720
    @marvindannenberg2720 6 років тому +176

    Yes, I understand.. But does this help with my ghakztahakoa?

    • @ognjenivanovic7871
      @ognjenivanovic7871 6 років тому +12

      Yes it does, but not with dfhjlpi

    • @Brightfur10
      @Brightfur10 6 років тому +11

      Slight chance it might fuck up your dazimopansah.

    • @ognjenivanovic7871
      @ognjenivanovic7871 6 років тому +8

      Oh, and you'll be left dacbuzert

    • @the_protectorof_smols3563
      @the_protectorof_smols3563 6 років тому +3

      Marvin Dannenberg recnac ssa rouy yojne esy
      ((For you lazy guys read each word backwards))

    • @ognjenivanovic7871
      @ognjenivanovic7871 6 років тому +3

      Timothy Gilfillan fitypre izuk trewad kaucyvbyn. Plotag?

  • @rottennnnbbbb
    @rottennnnbbbb 6 років тому +52

    500k people have experienced "The Rift" Congrats man!

  • @oldboy117
    @oldboy117 6 років тому +62

    So they not only write unintelligible things, they now say them

    • @ognjenivanovic7871
      @ognjenivanovic7871 6 років тому +1

      Михаил Резников a real tragedi for us non-doctors

  • @landonbarlow1647
    @landonbarlow1647 4 роки тому +29

    When he started muttering fast a portal to hell opened up and a demon named popo came out and just sits in my closet yelling harsh loud German at me

    • @type-10
      @type-10 3 роки тому +2

      Bleiben Sie hydratisiert! Zögern Sie nicht, über Ihre Probleme zu sprechen! Du wirst geliebt! Selbstmord ist nicht die Antwort! Ich habe andere Pläne für Sie...

    • @thepissedoffwhitedude969
      @thepissedoffwhitedude969 3 роки тому +1

      Nah that's not a demon. that's hans with his time machine... He's just trying to figure out what year it is and if you have food

    • @VeyVox
      @VeyVox 3 роки тому

      @@thepissedoffwhitedude969 Hans. Hans get zze Flammenwerfer!