The Everything Man | ASMR
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- Опубліковано 8 кві 2019
- First they outlawed candy, then they banned snacks. Now they took things to an all new level, and one man is out to defy them by bringing a little comfort, relaxation and joy to the citizens of the world.
You can read about the dystopian world in which The Everything Man, The Candy Man, etc. lives here: ephemeralrift.com/2019/04/09/...
Website ► ephemeralrift.com
Patreon ► bit.ly/1EZgmNi
Listen to selected works outside of UA-cam:
Spotify ► bit.ly/1V23U60
CDBaby ► bit.ly/1AUt3Jj
iTunes ► apple.co/1xIHLNd
Podcasts:
EphemRadio (on hiatus) ► apple.co/2afSkZQ
Arkham Sanitarium (on hiatus) ►apple.co/2alraeV
Social Media:
Facebook ► / ephemeralrift1
Twitter ► / ephemeralrift
IG ► / e.rift
What is ASMR?
ASMR stands for Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response. It's a non-scientific word that an everyday person came up with to describe the feeling characterized as a pleasurable tingling sensation felt in the head, scalp, back and other regions of the body in response to visual, auditory, tactile, olfactory, and/or cognitive stimuli, such as crinkling bags, hand movements, whispering, personal attention or watching someone perform a task. It's like goosebumps but much more pleasant and without the uncomfortable chills.
ASMR videos are meant to intentionally induce this sensation in the viewer, often referred to as "tingles", but the videos also serve to provide a relaxing, calming and soothing experience for the viewer. Many people who do not experience ASMR still enjoy the videos for their calming and sleepy effect. - Розваги
Some backstory about the dystopian world in which The Everything Man, The Candy Man, etc operates: ephemeralrift.com/2019/04/09/the-dystopian-story-behind-the-everything-man-etc/
Thank you
_Is THE MAN included...?_
I'm interested. Lol
thank you very much moar backstory!!!
wow thats cool
Fricking awesome!
"Where did you get all this stuff?"
"I got a guy"
"Dang you have a guy for everything"
"Yes, yes I do"
Wait... Oh no.
lol
I just imagine he has an infinite storage lot just filled with ridiculous amounts of everything from Applesauce to Zebra hides
@@lilSpykey he has a zebra that just watches over the stuff. If you get the joke then niccccceeee
Society: You banning human freedom or just objects?
World leaders: yes.
Why freedom and women?
your every video feels like a movie i get so caught up in the story that i forget to fall asleep
Which is bad for your sleep XD Yeah, I know that feeling
Shalom may I have ur foreskin
Ναι και εγώ γιατρέ
I just put my headphones on and i'm out in 10 mins.
The only movie that’s good to sleep through.
He's a real everything man, sitting in his everything land, making all his everything plans for everybody.
the pp man with his pp plan
Norman Reviews Games edit the everybody to every fan please
I’ve got an ‘ole in me pocket!
@@Daemon4lol
@thinginground5179 Well, half a hole. I gave the rest to Jeremy.
Methinks The Cocaine Man would not be so good at ASMR.
i think the weed man would be though
Ha ha METHinks
Weed man: Normal ASMR but he says “Dude” excessively and blanks out frequently
Meth man: excessive scratching and twitching
Cocaine man: screeching and breaking objects
@@warmly323 leave that to me
*sniff*
(Wooooo)
If everything is banned then rules and law enforcment is banned, too. So, nothing is banned and we are free!
Exploitation of contradictory is also banned so, sadly... no.
And banning is banned too!
Freedom and typing comments are also banned
@@DeathSurgeonKid wow an infinite loop its also banned
these comments form some sort of paradox, which is also banned
If he put like 5 ads at the end of every video he would make so much money because everyone would be asleep and not skip them
But they would be loud, because of how high their volume would be.
Impossible, becouse google automatically spreads them out
philipp plein did you just say google does it
philipp plein and that’s not how it works
@@michaelkoppie8151 google would do it they own UA-cam idk if they do do it though
Everything Man's every THING:
0:00 Introduction
8:33 The number won, the plus sine, the numbr too.
10:20 Large Wrench (I think of Engineer personally)
11:20 Iron Pickaxe
12:56 Black Suitcase
17:17 Top Hat, a nice one
19:05 Stereo (I still own a few of these, do you?)
20:47 Blue Metal Percolator (honestly it's just a bloody tea kettle but tall) with matching mug
24:01 Wooden Mallet
25:02 Wooden Box
26:19 Blue Binder
28:13 Call of Cthulhu's Construction Cone (that's what I call it)
30:24 Komputer Keyboard/Computer Ceyboard
32:48 Comic Books
34:20 Call of Cthulu's Classic Cleenex
35:48 Painter's Brush
37:15 Corn Cob Holder (people use these?)
38:58 Bubble Wrap
40:46 ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZÄÖÜßáéíóú (but he just has an R, for Rift obviously)
44:04 Human Brains...he has them.
46:19 Pestle and Mortar (with Breadcrumbs)
48:02 Pet Boot
50:23 Rubber Chicken
52:08 Cutting Mat (just don't cut Matt)
54:07 Video Game Controller (I actually don't have any gaming systems so I honestly don't know what that is)
55:26 RDR 2 and The Last Guardian
57:43 Ghostbusters (the good one) and Alien. Both Blu-Ray.
59:08 Black Leather Gloves, I hope they come in brown as well.
1:00:47 Vinyl record albums (Slayer, Metallica, Misfits, and King Diamond)
1:03:00 Taking your order for literally anything you want, he has it.
1:08:00 Parting fare the well.
1:09:57 Aye, that's it.
If I made any mistakes please inform me, and if for some reason you liked this, go ahead and give it a like so others may see. Anyway, cheers.
XDD
Much appreciated
Also, I believe the game controller he has is from a PS3
@@RowanMackenzie Oi, you're the lad that usually does the timestamps right? I recognise the profile picture. Anyway no bother.
@@bobveinne2439 Hahaha well, I did. I've stopped now
I love how he doesn't have ads in his videos, we take that for granted but it's such a blessing! Thank you!
For those of you who want backstory, here
Their first initiative was to put a global ban on the manufacture, sale and consumption of sugar and any man-made products containing sugar, from sugar cane to high fructose corn syrup. This meant that items such as ice cream, soda pop, chocolate milk, and candy bars were now illegal. This led to candy stores being forced to shut down. Restaurants were no longer permitted to offer sweetened salad dressings, desserts or sweet side dishes such as candied yams. Fast food restaurants were no longer permitted to offer fountain drinks, ketchup or any kind of sweet sauce on their burgers. Supermarkets were no longer allowed to sell any product whatsoever containing sugar of any kind. And worst of all, the Willy Wonka Chocolate Factory was permanently shut down, and all of the Oompah Loompas were displaced, imprisoned, became refugees or went back to Loompaland.
Knowing such a global policy would undoubtedly lead to riots in the streets and civil unrest, a new global law enforcement agency was simultaneously created and martial law was put into effect. Hidden behind mirrored face shields, wearing polyethylene body armor, and able to use lethal force at the slightest provocation, this new breed of intimidating officer policed every street corner around the clock, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It made Judge Dredd look like Sheriff Woody.
As the days turned to months, and the months to years, the people became accustomed to living without such simple pleasures that they once enjoyed. As one would imagine, it didn’t take long for sugar to become the most highly sought after item on the black market. Because of this, checkpoints were set up to indiscriminately search anyone at any time for potentially carrying sugar-based products either to consume or distribute. This, of course, led to abuse of power among many of the officers. Many children and adults were wrongfully imprisoned just by giving the searching officers the wrong look, refusing to cooperate, or responding in a less-than-pleasant manner.
As predicted, riots did take place and many government offices were burned to the ground. What started out as angry protesters, turned to violent mobs and eventually guerrilla tactics were employed by the disgruntled, and even gruntled, citizens. The united governments of the world with their new law enforcement agency responded, and for a few years, there was nothing but chaos and violence on every street across the globe. But as the ban on sugar continued to be upheld, as the united coalition remained steadfast and lessened its contact with the citizens of the world, the people were eventually overpowered, weakened, and reluctantly gave up their struggle. They became subdued, complacent sheep. Exactly how the united coalition envisioned.
Knowing how unjust this new world had become, one particular individual took matters into his own hands. He scoured the world for outlawed sweets and even began to manufacture his own. He then arranged secret meetings at undisclosed locations with those citizens who were willing to risk their lives to acquire the confections they desired. This purveyor of sweet hope and joy became known among the people as: The Candy Man.
Soon, other governments and ruling classes across the universe began to take notice of the events that transpired on earth and they too began to follow suit by enforcing their own bans on sugar. Hearing this, The Candy Man then took it upon himself to travel through the rifts and bring his sweets to the deprived multitudes of far distant planets.
A decade went by, and that is when the second ban went into effect: the outlaw of snacks. Potato chips. Cheese curls. Tortilla chips. Crackers. Any snack you can think of was banned. This gave rise to another individual known as The Snack Man, who was a clone of The Candy Man. This time, however, with the citizens having become completely subservient to their masters, there were no riots. Just reluctance and acceptance. With less resistance from their citizens, it took even less time to institute and enforce bans on such things as cheese and beverages.
Over a century passed and the human race was reduced to a slave society. All of their once beloved freedoms, traditions, pleasures and comforts have been stripped away. The sole global government agency now has complete control and domination over the earth’s populace. No one even knows anymore who or what is in charge, since the only contact with any government official of any kind are the officers that enforce the laws and continue to patrol the streets, which are now empty due to everyone being sanctioned to live in organized districts behind 20 foot high walls topped with barbed weird and patrolled by armed guards and robotic sentries.
And just when you think things couldn’t get any worse, the one global governing body took the banning initiative to an all-new extreme level, enforcing the ultimate ban.
And that brings us to present day, and the story that will unfold in this video with your visit with The Everything Man.
All that only to have just 5 people like it
F
HFCS especially is extremely harmful to health. I mean, if you eat a pop-tart once a month it's not going to hurt you. But the problem is that in nature, we did not encounter refined carbohydrates. Our bodies are not well suited to process high loads of sugar constantly, and that's why we're seeing type 2 diabetes exploding world wide. Refined sugar is addictive. It stimulates the same brain regions that cocaine does.
Bold of you to assume I wasn’t armed
I VERY CLEARLY have two arms.
you lost them on an accident or you already were born without them?
i think he said unharmed haha
Wait I think you're right lol
CheekClapper Dev And my dick aint hard, thats a thirty in my pants.
*YES THIS VIDEO MAY BE RELAXING BUT DON'T LET THAT CAUSE YOU TO FORGET THAT MR.KRABS SOLD SPONGEBOB'S SOUL FOR 62 CENT'S*
Oh I didn’t forget
wot z actl fak
Dm me this🤣
Bruh he sold his soul to talk to money
I know my facts.
I'd make a joke about the law being man-made but then I realized that the law in this universe is probably not that stupid.
I can see ER doing an aged/RE4 Leon S. Kennedy role-play and doing it justice...
Take a shot every time Rift says "ban" or "access"
Qwest 500 but shots are banned
like a screenshot?
@@flowersandwater666 drinking game joke
@@qwest500 I was joking as well
@@flowersandwater666 ah lol
I definitely need candy and snacks banned... The cravings can be strong and with the ban I think we would live a healthier, better quality of life. But then again no tv? No books? Good quality content Rift 👌🏼
no
No books gives me a Fahrenheit 451 vibe
本物だ…
@@LaDyLuCk2900 that just adolf hitler he banned books that did line up with his weird thinking
Y
The ad before this video was an ASMR McCormick cookie recipe
Indeed
It was going well until they comitted the grievous atrocity of the highest degree: nuts.
Who puts nuts in chocolate chip cookies?
I get those a lot its almost like youtube is adapting their ads to what you're watching lol
You should do a John wick role play you look just like him
I thought the exact same thing lol
Yeah but on the day John wick 3 comes out
I had an add for the third movie on this video lol
@@Rekillec this is an asmr video, there are no adds on these.
*eXpoSEd*
United Governments: Everything is banned
Me: Finally, now I can be nude in public
*uh oh*
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
No reason to care since knowledge is banned
being nude is also banned
Sorry but living has actually been banned
Do a Sheogorath from ES4:Oblivion roleplay
I think ER could pull it off.
YESS
*"Stop! You've violated the law!"*
That's not Sheogorath.
@@powder479 nice try though
Yes a better call Saul reference! You made my day uncle E.
_The Everything Man_ sounds like one of those trippy sci fi shows from the mid-70s that only ran for 14 episodes and thus never got a chance to go anywhere. Roddy McDowall could be counted on to be in at least one story, or if not him Jack Palance.
Sounds like an x files episode lol
Matter of fact, it turns out that the Candy Man, Everything man, Snack man, Beverage Man, etc... have all done everything in their power to rid the world of all things and in doing this produce their own version of everything that they take and sell to people for prices way higher than what market value would be.
Dear ER,
Thanks.
, MC
PS: that pick axe!!! Excited to get through the rest of this.
May all your nows be splentastic!
Article 13: a
Everything Man: brb gonna stock up on EVERYTHING from other timelines and make a profit, catch ya later
@@VBCVeryBigChannel you're a bad one
Kryen you're crapping on two innocent comments in the replies... slow down
@@VBCVeryBigChannel you literally get triggered I saw a comment of yours criticizing kermit for trying to get E.R to do a swear word vid
@@VBCVeryBigChannel: "I have a tiny dick."
Me:
I think everyone needs to chill if you think it's a bad joke keep it to yourself if you feel like crapping on two other people based on little too no knowledge on the other party keep it to yourself and if you think that this joke doesn't make sense then keep scrolling and keep your rude and inconsiderate thoughts to yourself and yourself only. Some of you were never taught if you have nothing nice to say then don't say anything at all and it shows
Also you're welcome Zephy and friends
Loving it, very happy to see you fleshing out this corner of the Rift Universe.
76 fellas disliked this video by now
*a lot people don't understand the Ephemeral Rift lore*
They are spies from government! They know about Everything man! Fast, grab picaxe and help me ban them from existence!
@Jonathan Bronner send all the power to the left side, gentleman!
It’s 76!
@@dsout7841 ah shit, here we go again
It's 99.... must...resist...urge....to...make.....even!
Here are a couple more “brother” ideas I’d love to see. I guess technically the Everything Man could sell them, but maybe buisness is so good their Father decided to split it up?
-Appliance Man
-Condiment/Spice Man
-Candle Man
-Electronics Man
-Clothing Man
-Fast Food Man
I love this series!
can’t wait to watch this ! thank you for your efforts !
Random dude: so how much “everything” would you like to know?
E.R: yes
You always have ideas for new Videos and you have my respect for that :-O
Wait why is there another FBI agent in the comments here, I thought I was supposed to investigate here.
Stop watching my porn or its country roads 24h again
If you look hard enough you might find a man from MIB keeping tabs on the aliens
Fbi open up
It's like that Spider-Man meme where there are two identical spidermen pointing at each other
...we told you not to mention it! You were *supposed* to go undercover.
we better get a "Cheese Man" ASMR
Hour long video and no commercials, thank you so much
Thank you for dark background & whispering. Helps to sleep ❤️
Perhaps the associate known as Computer Man is actually in fact...the Spacebar Thief?!
Jackalope777 he operates across the time and spacebar continuum
Theplotthickens
Fuck
helphestolemyspacebargetatechnician
@@rfractal fucking_hell_there_has_to_be_another_solution
'The Everything Man' sounds like a good album name for a 1984 Smooth Rock group
Fell asleep last night watching your video and now I have one to watch when I’m up 🤠 aren’t you just one of the coolest fellas around! Thank you
I love that he brought Chuck into this.
Wait.... he has easy access to all man made product that also includes NUCLEAR BOMBS
I have a hard time relaxing when I hear a male voice (usually) but ER is the only ASMRtist I can listen to and relax (that I know of) and I think that says a lot.
I can relate, every single male ASMRtist makes me uncomfortable
@@skelet_kosciej besides er, of couree
Joseph Mazzarella yes
ER is actually God so it makes sense
Doubt you've seen EVERY SINGLE male ASMRist but heyho
When he said "Self defense" for the pipe wrench I immediately thought of Adrian Shephard.
The best part of this channel is all the parts! Not only is the ASMR perfect(quiet whisper talking, perfect sounds and tapping) but the stories and ideas are just out of this world creative. If you're reading this "everything man" please know you have a huge fan right here!
What is this Half-Life?
Edit: Scratch that, is this George Orwell’s 1984?
Seems like a weird combination of both where the government is staffed entirely by Donald Trumps
Endermage77 DID YOU JUST VOICE A POLITICAL OPINION?
Well, it's not Huxley's Brave New World
Great guy! Love your channel keep it up❤️
This is the most tingly and the best asmr video i ever saw
I just love this series, snack man was my favorite! And just as I need to fall asleep, new one comes out 😅
I expected that wooden box to be full since he's everything 25:05
Man Hei Li 👀
But can you get me a kitchen sink?
Take mine 🛁
KS
that’s... that’s a bath
🚰
@@LaDyLuCk2900 🚽
Your videos are so interesting (and often funny) I’m almost sad they make me fall asleep so easily... almost ;)
I love these post-apocalyptic type ASMR videos. Keep it up!
For your next installment in this series, you should do "The Nothing Man"
You’re a genius E.R!!!! You’ve been my favorite since around 2014🙏🏽
Damnit I need a 5 minute condensed version of these so I can keep up with the story without falling asleep and having to watch it again because I missed most of it
I love these videos... so, so much!
So we have the candy man, snack man, sammich man & (kinda) the green man. And now The Everything Man? I think we can stop here, ER.
elecTro true story
Two of each please.
Watched the nothing man last night, tonight I’m bumping it up a notch
Just got an asmr ad before this... times really have changed
Has herr doctor ever considered a technique that feeds the sanitarium blue light from my screen as a supplement to its diet? I'm just concerned that it might have a blue light deficiency.
Herr* Doctor.
@@Short_Potato 50/50 shot and I blew it
@@sethgardner3362
Well at least you edited it. Gold Star.
Never know what to expect here! Love it 🔥😊
I feel like it's strange that I started watching the candy man videos last week, and he decides to upload a new part the same week I started.
This video is everything
“You made it through all of the security checkpoints unharmed... for the most part?”
Me: ...did... did I get punched in the face?!
you got shot in the gut
@@hentaisailor5951 same plus I almost got stabbed tho
Ima take a plane to the UK and show people memes from everywhere else for money
You won't have to....
*If* we leave
ER is one of my fave ASMR'ists thanks for this bud
Thanks for everything!
i want ,,Aragorn - The Man ASMR" haha
Showing up to the general goods store in Skyrim like
Owner of The Nothing Store: "Finally, a worthy opponent. Our battle will be legendary!"
Thanks for everything, man.
I actually just got threatend by a fellow student who could kill me and this sort of helped me relax so thanks uncle rift
DerBoss nobody asked for your opinion too. But yet here we are
DerBoss nobody asked if nobody asked .
I hope you still okay :)
Wtf don’t just brush it off
Does anyone else get a strong sense of Deja Vu? Like this exact video was done before under a different title?
Now that asmr is mainstream, I still prefer Ephemeral... I'm from 2015 asmr and this still make me sleep, thank eph. From Lisbon, Portugal
Real shit did anyone else get the McCormick asmr ad of them making cookies cause that shit was great, finally asmr ads so I don't have to ear bleed before videos
if all the mans were made by somebody, it 100% iggy manley 'cause he's the MAN
Don't give in to the man
In another video he said that like the nut man snack man beverage man etc are clones of the candy man
@@jordigeven8485 /rWhooosh
@@averagelifeenjoyer14 Thanks for saving me time
Its not the "Everything man" its just *"The Man"*
Iggy?
Great video uncle E🙂
"the everything man" just sounds like sm childhood game that would've been stupidly fun and creative to play awwe
You look like a combination of hank from detroit become human and dante from devil may cry
Have you read the _Glorious Tale of Old Man Henderson?_ I feel like you'd do him justice.
My comment was randomly changed to that!
YES
Ok that old man was just a crazy guy who thought he beat something impossible
@@VaporBlitz E.R. could play him well, I'm also curious to see how he'd sound like with the deep, yet incomprehensible Scottish accent that Henderson is known for.
Rift is such a madlad he made a website to help his fan base to grow even more
ASMR AS THE AD, i feel blessed ... truly
I hope you're all doing well
Literally no one:
ER:The Everything Man
Litteraly the best asmrtist
I love that he gets views. He’s so good
You look like a bearded Kurt Cobain I love it😎
The thumbnail title's style reminded me heavily of Cards Against Humanity [CAH], especially because of the black background. But yes, this ASMR otherwise seems rather interesting. Good job.
this man...is everything
Best thing I have ever seen
when I'm going to be in my 40s/50s/60s I'd love to have a hairstyle and beard like papa rift
Grammer are be banned! Things looking up they are.
correct. Yes
Perfect timing, it's time to sleep
Thank you for the backstory stuff E. R.
No comment about the "what's in the box" "try not to lose your head" reference?
Okay
Wait if everything man made is banned, the 20ft wall around us is banned and the uniforms that were given out are also banned. So are the officers uniforms and what ever they use as weapons.
Edit: I was thinking and if everything is banned that means that houses, shelter and storage
That means that in the walls, it is a barren waste land full of people, all in the same outfits and not being able to speak or communicate, the people who died would either be taken away by the officers or left on the streets for the people to bury.
Was falling asleep before I realized how deep this really was lol...ps big brother is watching you
A man knows how to give you tingles