The Unintelligible Questionnaire | ASMR
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- Опубліковано 3 жов 2024
- Welcome to the unintelligible questionnaire! I ask you a series of unintelligible questions such as true or false, multiple choice, etc., with a few that include audio and visual elements!
Good luck!
Website ► ephemeralrift.com
Patreon ► bit.ly/1EZgmNi
Listen to selected works outside of UA-cam:
Spotify ► bit.ly/1V23U60
CDBaby ► bit.ly/1AUt3Jj
iTunes ► apple.co/1xIHLNd
Podcasts:
EphemRadio (on hiatus) ► apple.co/2afSkZQ
Arkham Sanitarium (on hiatus) ►apple.co/2alraeV
Social Media:
Facebook ► / ephemeralrift1
Twitter ► / ephemeralrift
IG ► / e.rift
This man really spoke doctors prescription handwriting to us for an hour
Spacing_ In oml this NEEDS more likes
Because Birds aww ty! ur sweet
Bro, this comment is super under appreciated.
I hate how its true
I'm trying to sleep not laugh xD
Keep speaking you funny words magic man
He sat there and whispered to us for an hour - in gibberish. You should be a millionaire for your patience skills Mr. Rift.
RepeatST hes speaking unintelligibly*
@@TheGibBsterGaming it's the same god damn thing
Mason Bruner jokes are still a thing right?
Gabriel The Unbreakable I don’t think so I was joking around with some kid on ark and he got pissed and wiped me 😂😂
Ha thanks unicorn squad, very cool
My last brain cell during a test
Ha.
Y’all have the comedie appeal of a white facebook mom
@hunt_the_ munt that’s 100% true
I dont have any
They got stolen by a gay troll named alex
1:07
E.R: “jaaksns amsnwnskksnjw lalal akaboo”
Me: “I like cheese”
E.R: “Mkay”
Sonvis STUDIO C REFERENCE?!
You: "I like cheese."
Rift: takes notes for about 2 minutes
LMAO
Rift: sricjwjxjgvor oaofpvot dowoxr
@@Edwardhh but why?
er: *asks a question"
me: yes
er: *writes my answer for a ridiculously long time*
me: i have a feeling I wasn't right
same bro😹🙏
The first question was a fifty word essay 💀
This is just a lovecraftian whispering video in disguise
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn
@@icarusfalls8723 N'chrigh phæqa de'niqw ųə?
@@AWACS_Snowblind stfu i dont speak squid lmao
_dear god_
@@danielvital8761 Huh. For a -gringo- earthling you know the language well enough, had me fooled. Lol
Me: So how did I do?
ER: *hands me sheet of paper with a drawing of a duck*
Me, in tears: is it possible to redo the test?
This is far too underrated
Shuba
I got 2 stick figure fucking, I'm not redoing anything
@@R44t_hall the chosen one
i got a shaky drawing of kirby,
should i redo it or settle with the score?
Rift make a video where the camera is constantly slowly zooming in
Why?
@@lucaslokheimbjerknes1185 visual asmr can be set off with anticipating movements like those
Rebekkah Hamilton no i mean why would anyone want that
I know this is a probably a joke but I agree wholeheartedly
But the thing is, there isn't ASMR of any sort. He's just... staring.
3:01 This next question will be multiple choice
*starts speaking ancient Sumerian*
Konstantin Tripunovski why was this my exact thought.
BWAHAHAHAHAH
😂😂😂😂
I thought that was Oesc
Starts speaking shaman
And I hope you're doing well too, Rift. Thank you for everything you do for us.
@7 Minute ASMR - Tingles and Sounds Pls could you stop spamming yourself answering all the comments? :/
I agree with this comment
@@dabi6075 lel
@@elementlampzero6336 Like, at least he could have tried to write things related to the original comment or to the video, not with random shit :v
So that it wasn't *_that_* obvious he was spamming himself and his comments would actually make more sense
Shoron ASMR isn’t it rude to self advertise on people’s comment sections without permission?
not having subtitles was a missed opportunity
I’ve seen this before on the unintelligible doctor
Holy shit. He could have put some totally fucked up questions in the subs.
I mean stolen but ok.
Jonathan Lumbreras ‘twas not an insult, my friend, ‘twas a thing he could have asked in the subtitles
Jonathan Lumbreras I’m very drunk
Me: *falls asleep*
Rift, summoning demons while helping me sleep: The sacrifice is ready
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
He is speaking enchanting table
Imagine Rift just saying all these random things and he just throws in a “zoo wee mama”
That'd actually make it better like in a really soft whisper and hes like zoo wee mama damn
Asmr would be gone, only, laughing
I'D FUCKING SCREAM
love is temporary. rowley is eternal.
@@em.b3rr I- ur not wrong
Patrick that's crazy talk
That isnt crazy talk this is crazy talk:
LeedleLeedleLeedleLeedle
The profile picture is the topping on the cake 😂
“Bleh blah blah blah!
Bleh blah blah blah!
Blah blah blah!
Blelelelel-!!” *gets silenced*
Where's the leak ma'am?
Finland!!!!!!
Basically how it feels to learn a new language with a native
Oh so true😅😅😅
Someone should turn this into a conlang
@@teamdangerous4274 tankie
The unintelligible questionnaire is okay, but for me, it is the McChicken. The best fast food sandwich.
Nah big macs my main guy
ya boi crispy sausage Big Macs are okay but for me, it is the McChicken. The best fast food sandwich.
@@jakebonaccorso mc chickens are okay but for me its big mac big mac is the best fast food sandwich
Nah whooper is better
God Of Flames Whoppers are okay but for me, it is the McChicken. The best fast food sandwich.
What I hear when the sims talk
Papa Murphy
Yibs
Ha! So true!
sul sul!
Yeebs
8:37 Translation: I will now proceed to pull tiny handkerchiefs from a tiny clowns pocket...
I appreciate your Translation 😁
@@hankhill7813 Remind me, what do you sell?
H3fty I know you said this 5 years ago but did you actually understand what rift said?
It’s so calming when I’m at the doctors office and he’s asking questions about my heart condition and It’s unintelligible so I just answer randomly
"Have you ever had a heart attack?"
"Cheese..."
"Do you experience abnormal rises in blood pressure?"
_"Toronto."_
that doesnt sound healthy
did you get any chest pains these days?
“hmmm, chicken noodle soup”
“Have you been getting heart burns recently?” “Hamburger…”
He atacc
He protecc
But most importantly he yokunoblbldu
ngl i laughed a good bit at that-
yokunoblbldu is at approximately 3:44
And four years later... we finally learn our results!
Wait... we have the results already? I was taking a little nap
I love how he speaks normally for everything that isn't the questionnaire, but for the actual questions, he just says Samlikahamwasamdih
Nah, it was more like Antashikurameint
Amboutakam
No it was more like Sahaminalabaconator
@@thebasicpurood1894 Finally someone gets the reference
Yoong dooding gedang gedung 12:58
😂
RaizwnML lol
I pick B.
Yessss
Omg the best bit haha
Next video: Cyber Monday Amazon shopping. All it is is just keyboard sounds. Purpose is to just look through a bunch of sales on random items.
actually a pretty good idea
Yes I will comment this too so he hopefully sees it
As an employee of Amazon I am fine with this as long as he does not order anything lol we on massive overtime right now
Aj Graser he’s probably not even gonna show the screen. He does quite a bit in the past
the only other sounds are occasional sighs when the thing he wants is sold out or a pleased hum when he finds a good deal
Question 1: Whether we wanted it or not, we've stepped into war with the cabal on mars. So let's get to taking out their command 1 by 1. Valus Ta'aurc. From what I can gather he commands the siege dancers in an imperial landtank outside of Rubicon. It's well protected.. but with the right team, we can cut through his defenses, take this beast out and break their grip on freehold.
Question 2: Some creatures of the Hive strain against the Will of Oryx. Alak-Hul the Darkblade is one such. Long ago he fomented rebellion against the King and attempted to take his mantle. Alak-Hul failed and now awaits the “mercy” of the Hive. Given the chance the Darkblade will step in to take Oryx’s crown. We must not allow another prince to rise.
Ffs best comment I’ve ever read on UA-cam lmaoo
Is it weird that I can perfectly hear the question?
Hahahaha fucking hell I read that in their voices too
Is this a answer or the question?
“Question One: **Russian Lego Star Wars Noises** “
I tried subtitling this video and my furniture started levitating
Cottoneye Joe LOL 😂😂
ER you are asking us how we are doing all the time. But I want to know atleast once how you are doing. So if you ever read this, How are you ?
Lemee just speak for E.R.
Dr. E: "I appreciate you asking how I am, but I do not have the need for human emotion. All I need is Cthulu, my 184 personas, and tin foil."
Pyro VA Don’t forget cardboard
@@totaalinenchaos, Dear Cthulu, how could I forget?!
@@totaalinenchaos and the ampersand
Leda Theotokoglou Cthulhu*
I like how coming back to this video in 2021 really shows that Uncle Rift has never lost his quality and amazing atmosphere! The whispering quality is unlike any other channels 🐸
I need to stop watching these unintelligible videos, my couch started floating again.
I really miss the tinfoil hat society roleplays!! Listening to you crinkle tin and talking about nefarious organizations is the most amazing thing about ASMR
Anyone else wonder what the ASMRtist is actually writing when they use props?
Chris P ER literally just scribbles nonsense. I think he’s shown it before.
"day 326 in the box. They are forcing me to do an "unintelligible questionnaire." These recordings get more and more bizarre by the minute. If this should reach my wife and kids back at home, remember that I love you dearly. I fear for whatever is to come in my future and I doubt that I will ever escape this hell scape. I'm sorry that I never got to watch you grow up, Timothy. I am not there to be the father you need. "
~Dr Rift
@@epoch7661 bruh... muh heart
DoubleTrouble this makes my grinch heart hurt
@@Sullivancohen What about catdogs?
“I missed the test when it was scheduled but waited and saw the graded results then used a rift to go back in time, I hope paradoxical test cheating doesn’t go down on my permanent record. If it does I’ll have to use another rift to convince myself not to cheat.”
Love him or hate him E.R. is spitting straight fax
How can he be spitting straight facts he's asking questions
@@spacegators1775 for the true or falses he speak faccs
Who can hate this guy
Fax machine
This is the equivalent to taking a math test
"shhushhhgsgsgu. True.. Or false?"
Truse
4:27, that is me trying to see the diference between 1080p60 and 720p60
You wouldn't notice on a phone but on a monitor 720p looks like the big doo doo
@@haiperbus true that
@@haiperbus Spoilt white kid. 720p is totally watchable. I play video games capped at 20 fps sometimes because I respect that others dont have the choice to have higher quality.
@@johnwest6690 lol, i work min wage in a factory with no gov or parent support fyi
@@haiperbus Good for you, doesn't mean 720p is unwatchable.
I swear he’s the Keanu Reeves of ASMR. He’s just that cool man
When I first watched your videos I never expect you to make it to this point (never doubts just never expected the boom in subscribers), you have had much success over the years and I'm glad Ive been along for the ride
Thank you ER :)
mmm the questionnaire was nice the questions asked were loud and clear
sarah Hm. Ironic. I like that.
my brain is so small that it bounces around my head like a dvd screensaver
mine is smaller, i have a single braincell in there and it bounces around as well and whenever it hits the corner it makes a singular coherent thought.
Sometimes I am asked for a fifty word essay. I think this is too short of a length for how do I capture your attention with only fifty words. Well I guess this is how, because you have now read forty-one words. Thank you very much for this fifty word challenge.
Well played, really well played
*Claps in respect.*
officer, this comment right here
was written by a *hero*
True madlad.
ER: please answer with a minimum of fifty words.
Me: sure ok.
ER: *Starts speaking alien*
Me: what the fuck
I’m still waiting for a “Learn R'lyehian with Cthulhu” video, Uncle E
Thank you for this Unintelligible Questionnaire. Your Unquestionably Intelligent viewers thank you.
44r
fr
This comment is sweet
The what Questionnaire sorry?
inuntelligence questionaire
@@quasar3083 no, i think he wrote cunanteligable
Intellectual questioner I think?
Droid 88-B I didn’t hear that could you repeat it for me?
Inbred*
Anyone coming back here after the Review video to rewatch so we get the full experience? Or is it just me?
I'm watching this for the first time so that I can watch the new one .
When the hiring agent has a stroke in the middle of the interview.
I love how pointless the idea of an unintelligible questionnaire is.
EDIT: holy shit I finally got a top-page comment on UA-cam after using the site since 2006
yaaaaaaayyy
The point is being pointless. Edit: *HECK YOU, I MAKE THE RULES!*
Had to keep it Christian.
I know right? It's sort of like that time Taylor swift was supposed to sing to a bunch of deaf kids.
Pyro VA thank you for protecting everyone’s innocent ears from the horrendous blasphemy of what you were going to say.... I almost wrote that with a straight face. Almost.
s2u0p0e3r I almost laughed at your comment.
Almost.
UA-cam hasn’t been around that long
He did it. He actually graded it after 4 years. I am losing my mind
He graded it 4 years ago lol wym
He’s speaking in Minecraft enchantment table language
As soon as I heard the first question, I started scrolling for this exact comment. Thank you good sir
Answer key
Yes
Bigsegfblonifber
Yes
No
Maybe
A whopper and some fries
No
Unglebroirtifible
Bornighikfir
And about 10
shreg ahhh thanks, this test is gonna be so easy
ABORT MISSION SAEHVDSSFRSGHDDCF
That doesn't sound unintelligible. That sounds like R'lyehn.
Is this a simpsons reference
@@gameslane4908 no
First thing I did was look for subtitles
Hello Mr Ephemeral Rift, please could you do more combination lock videos? Those are my favourite 🤔
Jeremiah Fink Those are my favorite as well, lol
I like that too actually
Sameeee
Up!!
Ikr! I loved those videos but I completely forgot about them, please uncle E!
17:49 the supposedly Euclid question according to the grading video (I think). Just in case u were curious like I was
i was hoping for some kind of anti-establishment black friday video
"Those that do not move, do not notice their chains." - Rosa Luxemburg
@733Rafael
What an astute comment. You're on a plane of intelligence I can barely even imagine. Do you happen to watch Rick and Morty?
Ivan you clearly think your better than everyone else. Your the toxic Rick and morty basher
@@drcocbloc1615
Okay
Penis
Paul: "What is your opinion on aluminum?"
Me: "Well I-"
Paul: "Yes...or no?"
Me: ;-; wut
Oh his name is Paul I didn't know that
Yesn't
I think this is my favorite ER video.
Soft speaking, unintelligible words, and writing sounds? Perfect.
That second 'visual' portion, the pulling one, is one of my all time favorites of yours. Full on tingles, head, upper arms, thighs, down my spine. Ugh sooo good. (my top favorite is the sewing one you do SO rarely - when you combine the two it's absolutely heavenly) Great vid, thank you SO much, keep up the great work!
This is the questionnaire part of every job application I’ve ever filled out
My chairs started floating 20 minutes in and now there is an entity from the 31st dimension doing squats in the corner
Im curious as to what that would even look like
how curious, my bed started floating 32 minutes in and at 47 minutes my TV was ripped from its hinges and spoke to me! right now, 53 minutes in, there is a liquid like being in the center of my room bouncing up and down and side to side, seemingly dancing.
@@Z3phyrTheFox yeah sorry man my baf
@@Kiwiest it’s fine, despite that their all still going at it, im quite enjoying it, because now since im on my bed im levitated up here too, meaning i have quite a good view of what’s happening. they don’t seem to be bothering me, and watching the little slime blob dance around is kinda funny and cool. so i’m chillin
Holy crap this is the fusion of two videos that I never knew I needed but I *always* needed
9:09 me starting a lawnmower
LOL
fr 😂
😂😂
I hope you recorded my answers accurately. I put in a lot of effort to consider your questions and answer them wholeheartedly. :P
(great sounds in this and loved the personal attention. thanks for the video, ER! 💜)
👍🏼
Me: good night
The demon Rift just summoned: SURE.......
He has reviewed our grades
Rift: copakelerakomuvilpakurilk...
Me: yes
All of Rift's videos give me this "You wake up drugged and strapped down to a chair" vibes
If you listen to the “visual component” at 4:40 it sounds like the ocean
The most intelligent ASMR artist doing an unintelligible questionnaire...
He’s speaking the language of the gods
Rifty has a God-Tier sense of humour, I use these videos for sleep, but often find myself laughing too hard to get anywhere. This video in particular really got me when I saw the title, pure gold. Keep up the brilliance, from excellent world building to the eclectic behaviour.
So no Innsmouth thrift shop Black Friday video?
Ephemeral Thrift
Epheremal Rift, your videos just always make me feel better. Please just keep up the great work, you never cease to make me smile. :)
This is when we find out we can speak with aliens.
I love that he has a dark background, it doesn’t disturb my eyes as much
Now after four years he uploaded the results🎉
My last brain cell high on adhd and dyslexia reading the SAT questions
What did ya’ll get for number 4? I got Abraham Lincoln for some reason
I got blue whale..... Where did I mess up?
I got depression, where are you guys buying your cheese from?
Sam Mitchell from Abraham Lincoln
I got 2 wtf
What did y'all get for number 12? I got 18. I got 9.5. I got Abraham Lincoln, for some reason, I don't kno..
I love how these *verbal* questionnaires have essay questions
The film quality of this is insane. The best I've seen on UA-cam!
This is literally a combination of my two personal favourites from ER, The Unintelligible Doctor and the Questionnaire (and the sequel and existential one too)!!!
I have no idea how he made it through without laughing lol
Will you be making an unintelligible answers video for us soon as a follow up?
When the government is bored so they turn half of the census into simlish
13:43 Godlike tapping skills, my friend.
Unintelligible + writing sounds is my all-star team. This is the video I’ve been waiting my whole ASMR life for. Thanks, Rift!
The man speaking Minecraft enchanting table
Bet he accidentally summoned 38 demons.
For all the newcomers to this video he is speaking enchanting table
Me watching at night: ok I'm going to sleep now but I better not wake up to a demon summoning ok?
Rift: (unintelligible demon sounds)
This man is the God of ASMR.
No one else on UA-cam compares. 😌
Rift : smajd smadcn sss?
Me : Oh yeah all the time
Finally a doable questionnaire.
I actually look up at you with great respect, getting into, and keeping inside all these characters, original ideas, all for the sake of ASMR. You're truely treasure.
This is what I feel like during French class
ER: * chants ancient dialect *
Me: Yes
It's Dave's entry test into the medical field xD
Are you referring to the dave from pvz ? HSHAHHAHAHAHA
@@hurayyaaljufree7472 deep one dave my friend :) one of my favorite characters from the rift universe
I've been following your chanel for 3 or 4 years and you are the only asmrtist who always calm down my anxiety. Thank you for your wonderful work. You're fucking amazing.