THESE ARE THE EARLY SIGNS YOU ARE DATING A NARCISSIST: AM I DATING A NARCISSIST?
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- Опубліковано 21 лис 2024
- Are you dating a narcissist?🤦♀️🥺😡💕
What are the EARLY SIGNS that you are dating a narcissist?
In the very beginning of a relationship with a narcissist, we will never feel as seen and heard as we do with a narcissist, as they shower us with their powerful, magnetic light, making us feel like the most special humans on the planet.
And, if we come from certain childhoods and/or have certain ways of engaging in the world, as caretakers, empaths, having our own issues with self esteem, or wanting to finally be taken care of for once in our lives, we can miss the early signs.
When we talk about narcissistic abuse, it seems so obvious on the outside.
Why would we EVER be with someone so incapable of seeing and loving us for who we truly are?
Why would we be with someone so selfish and self absorbed, so wounding?
While in some cases the abuse starts almost immediately, in many other cases it's a subtle suffocation of abuse, but by time we realize it, we are too attached, too hopeful, feeling like "they might change," and so, we stay.
And we stay and stay and stay. Some eventually leave, some never do.
And some realize it quickly and leave too, but I would say this is less common.
💕💕💕This video is about the less obvious, low key signs of dating Narcissists, and includes not only what they might say or do, but what types of issues in our lives may increase our risk for opening our hearts and lives to Narcissists.💕💕💕💕
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ VIDEOS COMING SOON ❤️❤️❤️
IDEAL VS BORDERLINE MOMS
PARTS 2 AND 3:
BOUNDARIES, BOUNDARY VIOLATIONS
AND SETTING BOUNDARIES WITH BPD/NPD AND IMMATURE HUMANS
SEX AND YOUR ATTACHMENT STYLE
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@drkimsage
For me it’s weird because in any other relationship (friendship, romantic, or family) I never let people use me. I’m very outspoken and speak up for myself easily. with him, it’s like I’m a completely different person, I feel small
This spoke volumes to me, especially about feeling small. x
The description that you sommer up about the beginning of a relationship is spot-on
Exactly, they make you feel less than
Me too! ❤😢
I just came out of a 21-year relationship/marriage with a narcissist. I would really be interested in a video about what a healthy relationship looks like. Having grown up with an NPD mother and having married an NPD husband I really don't know what "normal" is in any kind o relationship. I would like to learn.
Something that stands out, even in beginning, is their SELFISHNESS
I am speechless...you are describing the narc in my past! 25 yrs, free and happy now. This needs to be a checklist on all refridgerators!
Dr. Kim You and Dr. Ramani are best narcissistic specialists out there. Thank you for teaching us.
I had a relationship with a narcissist for 7 years… before I met her I had no idea these people existed. She was beautiful and very charming! When I look back she lacked boundaries, love bombed the heck out of me… I was her “soul mate” and completely “got her” … to be honest I didn’t experience much devaluation as she boosted me/ idolised me! All her exes were crazy 😅… what I did notice were the childish tantrums response to disagreements that didn’t really get resolved.. and the amount of drama that happened around her- everyone misunderstood her and she was the victim, always! I only realised something was wrong with her when she discarded me for another guy.. after this I found out about these NPD types and how they gain narcissistic supply… the funny thing is that I met another girl a few months ago who shares the same pathology.. when I first started dating I shared the experience of my ex. I also joked that she reminded me of her in a strange way…I’m pretty sure I’ve got myself another one, but the force is strong with her 😅
Only, if you healed, you will have the strength to ignore and spot them
If someone tells me that all of their exes are crazy,, my first thought is what did they do to elicit that sort of reaction from their partner. They never see anything wrong with their own actions. Everyone else is just crazy.
Spot on! I have researched a lot about narcissists after being married to one, and this has been one of the best videos on how to spot a narcissist! I have also loved and found your videos about borderline moms extremely helpful!! Thank you!
Thank you so much!🙏🏻
We all at one time or another slip up and regret how we handled a situation, I wont do that again.Live and learn.
💕❤️❤️Hi All- This was a requested video from LOU BIRD! Hope you all enjoy and please feel free to add your thoughts or stories or requests!
I can relate to many of these and have been with a partner I believe to be a covert narcissist. And they had a list of partners that were all problematic. Remember that if everywhere they went smelled like sh*t, it's likely on the bottom of their shoe.
Yes, all these signs and definitely how they treat other people, especially service people or their assistant, eventually you can be the target of their rage and you don’t deserve that.
Also, the overly showing off the achievements and labels/materials, etc. This can be a sign of shallowness if it’s all “how it makes me look to other people” vs “I have this car because I enjoy the quality for myself”
If in past relationships they never take accountability for their part in the relationship, RUN!!! I also pay attention to how someone talks about their exes and the people they’ve dated, that’ll be talking about you like that too.
Another is if they say that they always show up for other people, but no one does for me... no one understands me. No one cares for me. No one knows how to love me, but when you try they snap at you for getting closer than they are comfortable with, RUN.
When someone shows you who they are, BELIEVE THEM - Maya Angelou
Thanks Dr. Kim! I enjoy your videos and I’m excited to see more
Yes thank you!🙏🏻💕 These are all excellent examples!!
so spot on this is crazy omg
I’m currently talking to a guy that I dated and yesterday I was on the phone with him he want constantly love making and thinking about living together but I told him we should slow down and he even mentioned that to himself but still bring up weird expectations. In my perspective I think he is sneaky rushing this relationship. I told him I don’t want constantly love making theirs so much more to do then that. I even ask him make plans and not one suggestion from him.
I Understand This 100%‼️
YOU have control...it doesn't matter what HE wants....I'd just not answer the phone when he calls or read texts right away. Make him wait an hour or two...see how he responds...
Don’t do it :/
Dr.Kim is a wise sage.
I have a weird thing with including material prosperity something to want in a partner due to the gold digger stigma. I dont expect or demand designer things but I worry about expressing a need for financial stability from a partner out of fear of being labeled. Is it narcissistic to seek a partner who happens to have money while not demanding that they do?
No, its not. It's just having personal needs and knowing what you want. Being a narcissist is disregarding other people's wants and not listening to anyone's needs unless it benefits you or fits your narrative. If you do that, then you might be a narcissist.
HERE is ONE quick way to KNOW. When the opportunity arrises tell them NO. See how they react. This will define a narcissist. This is the nbr 1 word they hate. I have LEARNED from many dark souls. Become aware and learn so you do not repeat patterns. This is an awareness game your in..... The movie of life is about raising to higher levels of consciousness.
Ask a date..
What percent of responsibility for past break ups do you take?
If they take little or none, Red Flag
If their biggest flaw is "i just love too deeply and put up with too much " Red Flag.....
We all put up with too much....thats not special....we all have negative behaviors and flaws......to NOT admit it or to say the only negative things are because your so awesome.....not good
Excellent video. Thanks for sharing 👍
I need help!!! My mother was. narcissist and i was married for 21 years to a covert, abusive narcissist!!! I've been divorced for 4 months and I'm still an emotional wreck!!!!
Been there it’s not easy but it passes 👌Keep going it eventually gets better … trust me was married to a narc …divorced 7 years and living life ❤️
It's also true that narcissists date and attract each other. I think it's very flattering to tell people they are "empaths" when it's more likely they're another narcissist if they keep attracting toxic people.
I feel this way but was diagnosed with BPD, anxiety, depression. I broke up with my boyfriend today sense we’ve just become so toxic and while I’m trying to change and do better he never has in the 6 years we’ve been together. Because of this relationship I literally have no hope in men and think all they want is sex. The whole topic of sex is triggering for me especially when a woman was just raped at a bar down the street from me. So no I don’t trust men or people in general anymore. I’m still nice or try to be nice to people as much as I can though.
Are you sure… I don’t see it possible that a narcissist would give attention to another narcissist… neither of them would meet each other’s needs
I think at the core, a narcissist is a ‘taker’ and the other person needs to be a severe giver, often empathetic and lacking boundaries/sufficient self-esteem
This isn’t true at all. I attract narcissists All the time. people who are abused tend to attract more abusive people into their lives because that’s all they know. also I don’t think being an empath is a good thing. I think people who are too empathetic lack boundaries because they want to please everyone. Emotionally stable people don’t let people walk all over them and don’t feel the need to people please because they don’t feel good enough. I think people need to stop using the word empath because it’s a not a good trait to have. Highly sensitive people could be people who are just traumatized. Right now I’m trying to learn and figure out how to spot them because I keep getting involved with them. The good thing is I end it earlier than before the bad thing is I keep being attracted to them and allowing them in my life. I wish I knew what a healthy relationship felt like.
@@avapond5682This. You are so right...at least in my situation.
It's possible, but it won't last after the initial high, because they'll erupt at each other the moment things don't go one of them's way. Seen it happen and the flying monkeys getting themselves totally involved in the showdown. Crazy
EMPATHS... CUT IT OUT. IT'S ENOUGH.
so videos like this really end up frustrating me. first: I was with a narc and am stuck with one for another 10 years as an ex until my kiddo turns 18. so what i'm writing here applies to me first, not you. but also to you...
the most important moment in the video is when she put this quote up: "when people show you who they are, believe them; the first time"
the primary problem i see with those of us who used to be with a narc is that we keep blaming the narc forever. there's a whole cottage industry of videos like this, memes that support it and whiney "empaths" that complain about their ex narc.
to be sure: THEY DESTROYED our lives. I'm not excusing this or justifying it.
HOWEVER... they did it with OUR permission.
you don't need 100 keys to figure out how to avoid a narc. instead, you only need to pay attention to one thing early on: what they show you about who they are.
i went down the path of "but it took time to see her for who she really was ..." bull crap. and "she didn't display it right away"... bull crap.
those are excuses we as empaths to cover OUR part of the responsibility. sit down and work out your deal breakers ON PAPER or ON A DEVICE so you can remind yourself what they are later when you are "in love".
then... when you date someone who crosses one of those lines, DUMP THEM. PERIOD.
after i left my ex narc i swore to myself i'd never again ignore warning signs and FOR YEARS my dating life was amazing! cutting people off early who broke my deal breakers left me happy, healthy and free! it wasn't always easy, some really got angry with me.. but it was ALWAYS RIGHT and ALWAYS left me with good vibes.
then...i met the woman who I would eventually marry and started putting the blinders on again. i ignored OBVIOUS warning signs in the name of "i love her" or "i know the other side of her" or "i've got so much invested in her" or "she's working on it, and i dont' want to be a jerk". I wish i could go back and wring my own neck and shake me and say WAKE UP MAN! Because after investing EVERYTHING into her and the relationship financially, emotionally and spiritually .. .she left after only 6 months of marriage.
she didn't just destroy me, she OBLITERATED my 6 year old son emotionally as well.
let me say this loud so people in the back can hear: all the damage she did to me ultimately WAS.MY.FAULT.
look.. every single thing she did in terms of conflict resolution, commitment and communication was just wrong. the way she destroyed and abandoned our family was horrific. so if that's the case, why did i stay?
EXACTLY. why did *I* stay.
duh.
*I* am responsible because *I* made excuses and stayed.
when you choose the behavior, you choose the consequence.
if you jump into the wood chipper the wood chipper kills you. but you knew BEFORE you jumped in that it would do that. so is the chipper responsible for it or are you. YOU ARE.
I will NEVER again ignore warning signs. NOT EVER.
i will show lots of grace. I will be patient and compassionate with my woman. I will be there and support her and do all I can to love her and make her feel like she's the most special person on the plant, UNTIL... she crosses a deal breaker. she can make all kinds of other mistakes and mishaps and screw things up (as we all do from time to time). but she cannot cross my deal breakers.
we all make mistakes, but deal breakers are not "mistakes" we can show forgiveness and grace for. they are DEAL BREAKERS.
they're called that for a reason.. they BREAK THE DEAL.
and if you stay with someone who has broken the deal, then YOU are now the problem, not them.
KNOW your deal breakers. apply grace, forgiveness and love to your partner for all things EXCEPT deal breakers.
DO NOT EVER stay when someone walks across a deal breaker.
Oh Maple you are so cute🐶💋.
Dr. Kim, I enjoy your videos. Would you say these characteristics can be found in any person with either traits of or actual cluster b personality disorders? It seems the motives may be different but it all looks similar from the viewpoint of the other person. I’d love to hear your views on this.
Yes! I would say many overlap, and I agree that the motivations may be different, but often similar expressions. I think Narcissism has an additional flavor around demonstrating how "great I am, or how great if everyone could just see how great I am," dynamic, but generally agree Cluster B has many of these characteristics:) Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts, and thank you so much for watching!💕🙏🏻
Thank you for responding. Your videos have been extremely helpful for me in recognizing these traits in my own family of origin. I truly appreciate your videos more than you know!
@@Mslwoo26 You are so welcome and I thank you for sharing this! I 🙏🏻💕💕
I see more than he knows. Not my first rodeo. Left him. In my car. I can do bad all by myself.
This dude is a textbook narcissist.
He likes to gossip and trigger other woman, also a sign?
Absolutely great video
💯
Hi Kim,
No, I've been there. Not going there again.!!!!!..🥴😵🤪🤣😭😳😝😍🥵🤐🥴
Cliff..👍
well im my case, i met a guy who only wants me in his bed. i think he is a narcissist
he tells sad story's about his past, inside jokes, protective, wants to know only certain things that he can use against me.
he cuts me off when i answer his questions, when he gets his answer and im still taking.
he keeps on complimenting me.
he never ask anything that has to do with me.
he showed his feelings for me, i rejected him. now he says his feelings are gone, but continue to try and have me in bed. lying to my other friend that he knows me for a very long time( i know him 3 weeks).
he says im his girlfriend to people i know behind my back ( I am Asexual and Aromantic sex repulsed.).
he tells lies so me and my friend block eachother on whatsapp, no contact.
he says ''protect'' me from my friend ( i said i dont need your protection and my friend doesnt mean any harm to me at all, no idea why he says this)
he brings up storys about how my friend might stand in front of my house, in my street, at my door etc.
he is trying to impress me(while i dont give a f)
he is interested in who i hang out with and my ''love'' life that doesn't exist cause im asexual and aromantic, Sex negative!( to push them away too and lie etcetc)
he did try to initiate communiction and tries to make plans( but i am not comfortable around him cause he is doing all this) so since then he dont know what to do and is trying to lure me and see if i bait on anything(but i dont).
he tried to invite me to a bbq with his friend(s) (i rejected cause its with the wrong intentions)
Any advice ? me as an asexual and aromantic sex negative person, its very hard to have friendship. how to notice these pshychotic signs early stage.
please.
RUUUUUUUUUUUN before you fall down the rabbit hole. GET OUT GOD is trying to tell you something and the fact that you so intelligently described this wicked evil creature on here, the writing is on the wall. GET OUT beautiful one, YOU deserve better. go get a dog or cat for company lol but keep your peace.
@@ThomasinaAdams27 you know what, you damn right. Thank you for your comment!
This guy is insane, for the lack of better words.. i blocked him and banned out of my life, now he goes around telling people how i broke his heart lol. He didnt even have a heart to start with.
Anyways, i did end up getting a dog, a malinois. Its awesome, alot of work but hey, she keeps me company and real love❤💕😍
Thank you again, i appreciate it🙏
@@WitchOnABroomstick Awesome "YOU WON"💞💞💞