My older sister has BPD. My father is not diagnosed, but I'm pretty sure he's on the spectrum of a personality disorder. Neither of them resepct my boundaries. When I try to put up boundaries, my sister threatens me to take suicide or hurt me physically. My father threatens to leave me (I'm 14 years old). Because of this I've been taking distance from the both of them. However when I do, they try to make me feel guilty. I can't imagine my life without them, I care for them so much, but at the same time I can't imagine another day putting through all of this.
Hey my friend has BPD I need help 😫 Iv had enough now I feel like just dropping the friendship no mater what I do it's not right and I'm not ever spending time with my other friends and always talking everyday 🙄I feel controlled and I'm not happy. Should I come out with the truth or what ?
❤️Hi All! Please let me know where in our lives you think it's most difficult to set boundaries!? 💕. What is the hardest part about setting boundaries for you?
I found it easier with setting the “hard” boundaries. If my mom starts on the road where she’s wanting me to talk her down from “suicide.” It’s in quotations because I know my mom wouldn’t do it and is just plowing for attention - but a suicide threat is a threat and I’m not a trained therapist nor do I want to encourage her behavior. Her last threat was met by a local psychiatric wellness check. I don’t take suicide threats lightly and now refuse to be a pawn in this game for attention. Though I known she is exaggerating- the steaks are too high. Also, I just can’t continue to spend entire afternoons talking her down and, in the end, ruining the day/weekend for mu family. Before the pandemic I would only see her for three hours at a time and never at her home (we live in separate towns). The absolute hardest part at the tiny little texts or phone calls: How was you day? Did you get the package sent? You aren’t answering- what is wrong? She gets very mad if I don’t answer “fast enough” and often contacts my husband (who doesn’t reply but tells me to talk to my mom)
@@Amazing_missB Setting boundaries is one of the most important issues if a person wants to try to maintain a relationship, but I know it can be incredibly difficult. Thank you so much for sharing.🙏🏻💕
@@Amazing_missB So trues for me also. The little texts and calls and packages (which she sends at great expense while complaining about money problems).
If we set limits with others we have to respect ourselves and say no to them especially those who don’t respect us and test the boundaries we set. They call us mean or they’re going to hurt themselves but remember it’s a manipulation and call 911 or emergency line to get them help with suicidal thoughts.
❤ my family would be the type to watch me die and then set a bunch of tears and stay at my funeral oh we tried everything to help her and we're so sad and get a bunch of sympathy they can literally screw you over and then try to play victim until everybody else in the world that you're screwing them over somehow it's so weird
Where is part 2? It skips straight to part 3. Is it under a different title or was that video not uploaded. I really need help and guidance with a situation ASAP. So i need that second part to get the full scope.
Just had a borderline today cross boundaries after I've explained on the second time about boundaries. Yet freaking again it got broken. I'm doing to this creature.. like I did to the narcissist I've dealt with in my past... no contact. These things can go to hell too. Borderlines along with all the narcissist... can go to hell. No wonder a therapist I know won't even have anything to do with them.
I've given up on my BPD mother ever learning boundaries. It's just not going to ever happen, and I have to accept it. I will be very sad when she passes, but..my solace will be that, due to her extreme controlling tendencies, it will also mean that I will discover a new type of freedom in life that I have never known. She couldn't get what she needed from my father, so she turned me into her ersatz partner...very, very painful, and it fills me with a lot of bitterness and frustration that I wish that I could get rid of.
I am in a similar boat. My mother was traumatised and neglected as a child - as a result I have without knowing failed as a parent myself but also did a lot right - but I am being honest with myself and realising a lack of boundaries has been the root of so many issues. My mother sees me as an extension of herself...When she is feeling good everything is rainbows and butterflies but when she is feeling bad - I feel the same way, I feel so sad knowing that she is hurt and wounded and trapped and not feeling the responsibility for relationship because of this has been such a mind fuck, So I make sure that I am operating with as much respect and integrity as I can and if that means our relationship is estranged then as sad as that is - it was not my choice and that is what I find solace in. Giving you a big hug and just know that you are strong, capable, intelligent and you can make your life anything you want, it is never too late xx
No contact EVER again seems to be the only boundary a BPD understands. They're game is abuse.... If your still in the room the BPD will abuse. That's what they do. It's who they are.
And what do you do when you create boundaries but then somebody creates has a fake crisis everyday totally disrespecting your boundaries and when u call them out about their fake crisis, they get incredibly angry with you and they don't let up all day
I had a 6 year relationship with such a person in until I realized there was no hope and I ended it... That was 8 years ago and I still haven't *physically* recovered from what all that emotional trauma did to my body
The absolute hardest thing is learning boundaries when you've never known them
My older sister has BPD. My father is not diagnosed, but I'm pretty sure he's on the spectrum of a personality disorder. Neither of them resepct my boundaries. When I try to put up boundaries, my sister threatens me to take suicide or hurt me physically. My father threatens to leave me (I'm 14 years old). Because of this I've been taking distance from the both of them. However when I do, they try to make me feel guilty. I can't imagine my life without them, I care for them so much, but at the same time I can't imagine another day putting through all of this.
I really struggle with guilt after setting and sticking to boundaries 😞
They do not struggle with guilt for breaking your boundaries down and making you feel unsafe. They smile about it. Never forget that.
This is the 'G' in the FOG of Fear, Obligation and Guilt you feel.
Dr Sage, do you have a video on developing that intuition and trust in myself? That is my biggest obstacle. Thank you 🙏💜
Hey my friend has BPD I need help 😫
Iv had enough now I feel like just dropping the friendship no mater what I do it's not right and I'm not ever spending time with my other friends and always talking everyday 🙄I feel controlled and I'm not happy.
Should I come out with the truth or what ?
Just leave them alone. They won’t change.
❤️Hi All! Please let me know where in our lives you think it's most difficult to set boundaries!? 💕. What is the hardest part about setting boundaries for you?
I found it easier with setting the “hard” boundaries. If my mom starts on the road where she’s wanting me to talk her down from “suicide.” It’s in quotations because I know my mom wouldn’t do it and is just plowing for attention - but a suicide threat is a threat and I’m not a trained therapist nor do I want to encourage her behavior. Her last threat was met by a local psychiatric wellness check. I don’t take suicide threats lightly and now refuse to be a pawn in this game for attention. Though I known she is exaggerating- the steaks are too high. Also, I just can’t continue to spend entire afternoons talking her down and, in the end, ruining the day/weekend for mu family.
Before the pandemic I would only see her for three hours at a time and never at her home (we live in separate towns).
The absolute hardest part at the tiny little texts or phone calls:
How was you day? Did you get the package sent? You aren’t answering- what is wrong?
She gets very mad if I don’t answer “fast enough” and often contacts my husband (who doesn’t reply but tells me to talk to my mom)
@@Amazing_missB Setting boundaries is one of the most important issues if a person wants to try to maintain a relationship, but I know it can be incredibly difficult. Thank you so much for sharing.🙏🏻💕
I'm great at setting boundaries but others who have emotional problems tend to push my boundaries a lot
@@Amazing_missB So trues for me also. The little texts and calls and packages (which she sends at great expense while complaining about money problems).
During the daughter’s postpartum droid.
You look so beautiful in this purple!
If we set limits with others we have to respect ourselves and say no to them especially those who don’t respect us and test the boundaries we set. They call us mean or they’re going to hurt themselves but remember it’s a manipulation and call 911 or emergency line to get them help with suicidal thoughts.
Thank you so much for all the videos. Really helpful. ❤love from Canada.
Thank you for your video.
Thank you! Great video
"Yeah, you trying to make my son fighting for his life all about YOU- you got me fucked up, fam."
❤ my family would be the type to watch me die and then set a bunch of tears and stay at my funeral oh we tried everything to help her and we're so sad and get a bunch of sympathy they can literally screw you over and then try to play victim until everybody else in the world that you're screwing them over somehow it's so weird
thank you this was very helpful!
Thank you! I am happy to hear it was helpful!🙏🏻🙏🏻
Where is part 2? It skips straight to part 3. Is it under a different title or was that video not uploaded. I really need help and guidance with a situation ASAP. So i need that second part to get the full scope.
Just had a borderline today cross boundaries after I've explained on the second time about boundaries. Yet freaking again it got broken.
I'm doing to this creature.. like I did to the narcissist I've dealt with in my past... no contact. These things can go to hell too. Borderlines along with all the narcissist... can go to hell. No wonder a therapist I know won't even have anything to do with them.
A creature? A thing? Well, I hope you're not a therapist...
Pretty much.
I've given up on my BPD mother ever learning boundaries. It's just not going to ever happen, and I have to accept it. I will be very sad when she passes, but..my solace will be that, due to her extreme controlling tendencies, it will also mean that I will discover a new type of freedom in life that I have never known. She couldn't get what she needed from my father, so she turned me into her ersatz partner...very, very painful, and it fills me with a lot of bitterness and frustration that I wish that I could get rid of.
I am in a similar boat. My mother was traumatised and neglected as a child - as a result I have without knowing failed as a parent myself but also did a lot right - but I am being honest with myself and realising a lack of boundaries has been the root of so many issues. My mother sees me as an extension of herself...When she is feeling good everything is rainbows and butterflies but when she is feeling bad -
I feel the same way, I feel so sad knowing that she is hurt and wounded and trapped and not feeling the responsibility for relationship because of this has been such a mind fuck,
So I make sure that I am operating with as much respect and integrity as I can and if that means our relationship is estranged then as sad as that is - it was not my choice and that is what I find solace in.
Giving you a big hug and just know that you are strong, capable, intelligent and you can make your life anything you want, it is never too late xx
No contact EVER again seems to be the only boundary a BPD understands.
They're game is abuse.... If your still in the room the BPD will abuse. That's what they do. It's who they are.
And what do you do when you create boundaries but then somebody creates has a fake crisis everyday totally disrespecting your boundaries and when u call them out about their fake crisis, they get incredibly angry with you and they don't let up all day
End the relationship. There is nothing you can do. Distance is a great way to protect oneself.
I had a 6 year relationship with such a person in until I realized there was no hope and I ended it... That was 8 years ago and I still haven't *physically* recovered from what all that emotional trauma did to my body
Amber Heard was diagnosed with Bpd. Enuf said
😘🍵🍦