It’s the last couple of days of the Valentine’s Day sale on paperbacks and The Connection Course! Use code VDAYSALE on The Connection Course: psychologywithdrana.learnworlds.com/course/the-connection-course And you can find all my paperbacks here: amzn.to/3UFzf7c Content creators whose TikToks I reacted to: (not in chronological order) Kylee Rackam The Nameless Narcissist Lee Hammock Nicole Behnam Dammit Delta Anoushka Marcin
@@eugenekrabs3837 you’re absolutely right, I was screen recording on my laptop this time cause it worked so poorly from my phone last time and I only realized afterwards that the usernames weren’t on there. I’ll try to edit this comment tomorrow and add them!
I am so tired of people labeling other people with narcissism over the smallest things. This is why i strongly dislike when social media learns a word or a phrase lol because people then over use it and misuse it and completely diluted the trrue meaning of the word.
It’s honestly a fascinating phenomenon to observe, at least it would be if it wasn’t so horrifying. Terms like depression and anxiety get thrown around so much that it seems people don’t even have a frame of reference even in the ball park of what those things actually are.
It is a very interesting social phenomenon. It remains to be seen how helpful or harmful it will be to have more awareness about it. Ironically, listening to the horror stories of some victims, I can see that their disordered person may have been autistic, or actually met the criteria for a completely different cluster b disorder (antisocial personality disorder often gets overlooked) but they all zero in on "narcissism" lol
I am affected by these narcisist people. I reached this term after searching for some people characters. It's not like I heard this word and started labelling people into this. It's the other way round
Facts. People learn what they perceive to be a big take down and then they use it on anyone who they believe have wronged them. Same with comparing people to Hitler or events to the Holocaust. Total irreverence to the severity what that would actually mean.
I often catch myself having a tense smirk when i am attentively trying to listen to someone even though i feel the urge to judge something but i want to see a bigger part of it before intervening. I feel like it can creep people out. Guess i'm being cruel to myself at the very least.
Wtf is a narccisitc smirk. I swear one of my ex's was exactly everything a narc is. I read about it after and was like omg this , this right here , is the exact same way he was and these are things are all of theh the things he would do. It was errie It's like they really wrote a description of him. I also learned what gaslighting was and was my god that's the word for what he constantly did. When I spoke back to him and wouldn't let his saying I was crazy and he didn't do or say a certain thing go he would get cruel. And say well his intentions were noble anyway. And then he'd do something shitty later cause I had questioned him. when I was like no , you are just lying to my face now or he realised I really could see what he was like and was just disgusted with him he almost seemed upset and hurt and anxious. . And he was such a good liar and he loved present ing himself as this special guy with a legacy to leave . But I see a lot of people throwing it around and I do wonder sometimes if all these people are really narcs. But it wasn't all my ex's who I could call a narc. He was good at lying , too.
Have you never been invalidated by this very smirk when the person has zero care for you in that moment? Narcissists do this and and they also have arms and legs, too. No one cares if every other type of person has arms and legs.
People who try to read others are not healthy either. Mind reading is literally a coping mechanism- I used to do it alllll of the time. It’s not healthy. People need to communicate talk to one another, learn how to express oneself, ask questions and GO TO A LICENSED therapist!
Thank you for mentioning autism, unfortunately autistic people have been mislabeled as a narcissist, their whole lives, and carry a great deal of trauma with them because of it
The feeling or sensation of "knowing" is very seductive for some people. It's like a drug. People who think they know things they don't know or can't possibly know do a lot of damage in the world.
As someone with Mixed Personality Disorder (with Dependant, narcissistic, borderline, and obsessive compulsive traits), thank you for making this video. We really need to combat the stigma around self esteem issues. I've seen insecurity used as an insult way too often, as if being insecure is some sort of moral failure. I've seen similar things with people doing BPD awareness things on social media, saying things like "it's okay to not be okay" and then turn around and call everyone they don't like a narcissist. We're all human, we all deserve a chance at a better life and a better relationship with ourselves and with others.
I agree with you totally, but I think the reason people feel that way about the cluster B personality disorders is because they are so destructive to other people, in addition to the person with the disorder. That's different view compared to, say major depression disorder, which is considered more destructive to the person afflicted with it (and thus garners more sympathy from others)
I work with a manager that has all eight traits of OCPD, and also shows some overlap with narcissism. Facial expressions had very little to do with my realization. What stood out was a massive disconnect from basic empathy, an equally odd sense of entitlement to one-way respect, and a relentless exploitation and devaluation of the people closest to him. The healthiest content I've found on UA-cam is Heidi Priebe, who focuses on learning more about our own attachment issues, and defense mechanisms that make us vulnerable to abuse. Many others almost stoke the flames of rumination, rather than healing.
Her taking the responsibility to tackle the problem once she realised she was it speaks volumes. That's the definition of the word response ability. Impressive. She's taken account and responded.
I really see it as extreme emotional immaturity in a way. Like the person hasn’t gotten their needs met so consistently they just are so deeply hungry for emotional nurturing they really do seem selfish because they have seen everyone get needs met they feel like they have to fight to get theirs met. It’s trauma and inconsistent parenting from what I understand. I have been up close to it. They’re not a bad person Over years and learning their upbringing and way of thinking, they’re not a big bad evil narcissist, they’re a traumatized person. I am too, but, my trauma didn’t wire me that way, they did get wired that way and it sucks. They don’t have dead eyes. They smile. They love. They just are not emotionally mature enough to show up the way most their age would. Just gotta lower my expectations. Boundaries.
Idk a bit of a different note, but i find it quite od of how that blonde tiktoker talks abt Narcissism through their expressionless features particularly the eyes, then their she goes doing the exact same thing, so should I be worried abt her now because of her red flags on her expressions that also kick started my bad feelings abt her?! 🤣
Glad someone is finally speaking about this. I think the spotlight on narcissism at first was refreshing for people who have been victimized by narcissists, but after a while the influx of content started to give me bad vibes, for lack of a better phrase. People are way too heavy-handed "diagnosing" everyone as a narcissist, to the point where it just feels like weaponized therapy speak. I do suspect some projection is also going on, the people who screech the loudest about narcissists often seem kind of narcissistic in their own right.
Thanks for this really important video, Ana! Personally, I don't like the fact that narcissism has become a fashionable term to denigrate other people. I also think it's great that you included one of Jacob Skidmore's videos, because it was through him that I became interested in really understanding narcissism. It was also through him that I found Mark Ettensohn, who does really great content on the subject, and sees people with narcissistic personality disorder as people with flaws without devaluing their whole being, and treats the subject sensitively. I would also like to see an in-depth video from you on the subject, perhaps with an interesting study.
It's not new that people casually throw some words such as bully, fascism, or antisocial to those they want to criticize, regardless if the other party actually qualifies as one. When you give a name to something you don't like about someone, it's just makes it easier to justify and rationalize hating them.
Can you done an analysis of the work of Dr. Ramani? Her whole thing is narcissism and I think there are major elements of truth to her work, but it seems to have spawned an entire industry of UA-cam channels devoted to talking about and villainizing narcissism
I'd love this. I had to stop watching her content because I realized that most of it wasn't productive for healing or understanding. It was purely for demonizing an already traumatized group of people
I am in my masters program for psychotherapy and I love how educational your videos are!! thanks so much for putting in the time and effort to educate on this platform.
Nice video, Ana. going to be using some of these tiktok accounts as sources for information in the future. I just appreciate insight into different people's minds. I personally believe that clinical diagnoses are far less concrete than we think. And being able to accurately (with consistency) diagnose people with cluster B personality disorders is insanely difficult. These labels are all far less rigid than most people understand. Even psychologists (yeah, i said it lol). People are insanely complex and trying to put people in boxes without living through their experience is just an extremely difficult task for various reasons. That said, the current trend of diagnosing people with NPD because you don't like them or they seem somewhat off is just ridiculous lol.
Hey Anna, I’ve been a follower for a little while, I’m not sure exactly but I stumbled upon your content a handful of months ago and you’ve easily been one of my favorite channels. Love it The real question: Since watching you, I’ve stumbled on videos that are akin to it but I was wondering if you could ever weigh in on self- sabotage, consciously wanting to better yourself but the fortitude of such activity (I.e writing for instance) You want to be a writer but because it sustains so much effort and because you maybe just a novice at such activity, it keeps you from doing it. I’ve been trying to work on myself for a little while now, and this is something I still find myself constantly distracted by. Anyways, thanks for the content and keep doing what you’re doing ❤
Thank you so much! I believe I have a somewhat older video on self-sabotage, and one on procrastination from a few months ago that might touch on the topic you're seeking :) But I plan on doing more videos on the execution phase of goals in the near future!
I feel like a lot of these misconceptions come from the term itself. Narcissism, the disorder, is the complete opposite of the story of Narcissus, so no wonder people are confused by it. I find it very strange.
I've heard someone say it before: "I rather be in a room with someone in remission from or have actively worked hard on their personality disorder than someone who has never reflected on themselves."
Do we all have a capacity for narcissism, does it serve some function in how we regulate self esteem ect ect? I feel like personality disorder is much different from narcissistic personality traits from the index.
Yep, we all lie somewhere on the spectrum like a bell curve, with most people containing a few subthreshold narcissistic traits, very few people that have none at all, and very few people that meet criteria for NPD. The issue is that people are now conflating NPD with subclinical narcissistic traits and use this as a justification for why they're "not diagnosing anyone." In reality, determining where someone falls on that spectrum is a challenging and complex process that should be done by professionals, especially since we also need to rule out other disorders that may present with similar symptoms.
Thanks for covering these topics/issues and adding nuance to them as pop psychology is seemingly running rampant (…again/still), especially on platforms like TikTok and Instagram where so many people, regardless of age, get their information and form their ideas of self and others. 🙏🏻😊
Finally!!! I been profiled so many times it's ridiculous.😢 I'm happy this is now happening. These people have sabotage my opportunities. Told lies about my character. I knew that it wasnt me so I NEVER retaliate I just stop talking to them.
I'm autistic and I'm so bad at facial expressions, I fake smile a lot in order to mask and fit in when I'm in social situations. I wonder if some people deemed me to be a narcissist for that...
Even in others videos I’ve seen of doctors discussing narcissism, it’s always sort of presented as “us vs. them” and looking back, that perception really just contributes more to this idea that narcissists are inherently evil and beyond rehabilitation.
THANK YOU for this video! I was wondering if you can make a similar video about people on social media doing this with autism. I’m autistic myself (I was diagnosed a couple years ago by my therapist) and while I understand why self-“diagnosis” is a thing in the autistic community, people go way too far with it. And many try to diagnose celebrities or fictional characters as autistic based on nothing
People with NPD are some of the strongest people. I loved seeing the creators you featured. I was hoping to see Clusterbmilkshake, our Godmother. Taking accountability is beautiful. I hate hearing they can’t be self aware. Great video Ana!
Theyre not 💀. I love and was raised and still love someone that has npd but to say their strong is laughable. Ain’t nothing strong having the emotional maturity of a toddler
@@magikarp308birds of a feather flock together. Go laugh then boo. For them to experience such abuse and to continue going and working themselves is strength.
A couple of notions I'd like cleared up if anyone's willing to indulge me: 1. The notion if you're concerned if you might be a narcissist, it definitely means you're not one and have nothing to worry about. To what degree is that accurate? 2. Everyone has a degree of narcissism, that people need a healthy level of it for survival's sake. We only call someone a narcissist when their levels spill over the brim.
1. I think that's based on the assumption that, a true narcissist would never question themselves. Nor would they care if they were. But the cluster b personality disorders exist in a spectrum as everything else does, so some who are trying to have better understanding are capable of self reflection and awareness....the problem is connecting the dots in real time to prevent fractured relationships. 2. Absolutely true! Without a certain degree of self focus, I would imagine a person could neglect their own needs to a rather severe degree
1. Not at all Every narc I have ever met knows they had a "cold childhood", or know something is wrong with them, they have to mask etc, they may not have insight to their antisocial behaviour, but they know they are different atleast. 2. Healthy Narcissism is a healthy and nuanced self perception. Narcs over compensate because they actually have no ego. That's why it's "unfixable" with severe status quo changes, the defenses come out no matter what you do. NPD is this self perception not being contained to the self anymore, so children become your extensions, basically everyone does because you have no ego to support yourself, it's sort is psychotic lol
I actually watched his blue twinkling eyes change to black. His eyes were black, blank, crazy like he had come out of his skin. Saw the black eyes again when someone took his pic at work. He was having an affair and in love and he couldn't stand the site of me. After 23 years, he hates me to make himself feel better. Couldn't believe he would ever be so cruel and deceitful but he was. He turned into a monster and I didn't even know who he was? It's a trip. It's so sad for a person to be able to treat any human being with such hatred.
Hi Ana! Would you be interested in creating a video on addiction, and how to support a loved one going through addiction? I'd love to hear your take on this side of mental health.
Also, if you ever wanted to do a crossover collab on this topic with Jakob (aka The Nameless Narcissist on YT) I would probably s**t myself with delight LOL
I love your content, it's always so high quality🤩. Thanks you so much for all the knowledge you share, you've helped me so much to better understand how to deal with life. Hoping for that video about distorting reality.
Thank you:) That helped me to understand narcisissm better. It must be a real burden to have this diagnosis as it is so stigmatized in society. Maybe the mythological Narciss wasn't even narcissitic 🙈 As a speech therapist I would be really interested in topics concerning the connection of voice and emotion. Also it would be interesting if you could react to videos by the School of Life. Wish you a calm evening all.
ive heard the word narcissism everywhere now, even my partners dad is calling everyone but him one. Im dumbfounded. my sister says all of her ex's are - though I think so too haha. It's just crazy. not everybody is !!!!
Not quite on the triggered by "seeing something you do in themselves." They are far more likely to be triggered by seeing something that their abusers did to them and were told they were wrong so many times in their life and taking their feelings of injustice and pain and hatred of their abusers and tormentors out on the "self aware narcissists." Not everything is, simplistic, "if you spot it you got it." And to not offer any other suggestion as to why people take hatred out on narcissists who speak about how abusive they are to people in their lives on video is, among worse things, shortsighted.
All those videos are so cringe 😬 Anyone who does this kind of this either aren’t licensed/degreed or they are and, um, what are you doing? This type of thing goes against alllll the things you’re taught not to do.
Lol I'm glad the pop-psyche narcissist slander is stopping. I feel like people who have antisocial personality disorders get a bad wrap, which is understandable, but for the most part I think we just find most normal people as totally insignificant 😭
I'm expressing my belief that this personality disorder does not make us bad people despite the fact that we dont value other humans as much as they would like us to
@@UniMatrix_1 you self objectified yourself at some point and this is the result. You still have work to do yourself my boi regardless of the extent of your external locus of control, if you have the intellect 😉
I get why people would be wary of narcissists, but bigotry is not the answer. We need neurodivergent solidarity! We need to give NPDers a safe space to develop healthy coping strategies.
So I love Robert Greene who self-identifies with narcissistic traits but I wonder if when he says “the narcissist” is he actually referring to the disorder. I hope NPD, the name, gets changed in my lifetime. Everyone is throwing out Narcissist even when they're not referring to the personality disorder.
Dude we do realize that there are muscles in the face??!! Like health conditions can affect the face, this is just pure idiocracy hahaha thanks for the video!
A diagnosis! Not all abusers are narcissistic, not all narcissists are abusers. But all abusers are jerks and it's very very important that we don't label jerks as narcissistic. But a NPD diagnosis must be given through a proper process. Lol funny enough I was typing that and she just said the not all line But certainly you can't diagnosis anyone by looking in to the eyes and it's soooo dangerous to say this.
Funny that first gal actually has pretty dead eyes. That said, I’d never attempt to diagnose her with a personality disorder, or anything else, over it.
is it possible to know if an ex that lied to you about seeing someone new and is still reaching out months later, is doing that out of narcissistic validation or pure guilt? or something else? i really can’t tell what his intentions are. he’s very young (19) so i’m not sure if it’s just emotional immaturity or he’s trying to just see if i’ll respond and is actively manipulating me. it’s driving me crazy because usually im good at this 😂
Dr Ramani is very helpful. She helps people who were hurt by narcissists. We need people like her. Too few narcissist go to therapy to not hurt other people. And even they already have plenty of people who they have hurt. Narcissists are not the victims in our narcissistic society.
@@nhvkuy4675 I understand her role, but I see issues in the narc abuse recovery community- which helped me at one point- but it's a little toxic. I choose to be understanding towards cluster b's & not all ppl with NPD are abusers, NPD is a trauma response usually.
"you can diagnose someone's personality disorder from looking at their face". No. I understand that you might be able to find similarities in npd people's patterns of facial expressions and body language. But knowing for sure that the person is deeply, irreparably disordered, just from their facial expressions, is unrealistic and silly to claim. I sometimes wonder if the creators of these accounts on tiktok and Instagram who make ill informed content like this, actually know that they're wrong, and are just baiting for engagement. Seems so unlikely a grown person would believe in all of this nonsense.
I agree. While being with a narcissist can be very hurtful, if you get close to them and have the luck to see their vulnerability slips through the mask, it's just a person with unbelievably low self esteem. Just broke up with a guy who fits most symptoms of a narcissist. I am extremely hurt by what he had done to me but at the same time I know exactly where it is from and feel so heartbroken for him. Knowing he is not capable to even love himself...really kills me. And it's exceptionally challenging for me to walk the fine line of showing understanding of his behaviour but not rationalizing his abuse.
It’s the last couple of days of the Valentine’s Day sale on paperbacks and The Connection Course! Use code VDAYSALE on The Connection Course: psychologywithdrana.learnworlds.com/course/the-connection-course
And you can find all my paperbacks here: amzn.to/3UFzf7c
Content creators whose TikToks I reacted to: (not in chronological order)
Kylee Rackam
The Nameless Narcissist
Lee Hammock
Nicole Behnam
Dammit Delta
Anoushka Marcin
@@eugenekrabs3837 you’re absolutely right, I was screen recording on my laptop this time cause it worked so poorly from my phone last time and I only realized afterwards that the usernames weren’t on there. I’ll try to edit this comment tomorrow and add them!
The irony of that lady with her dead eyes saying that narcissists have dead eyes is hilarious.
Lol facts identification projection on her part.
😂
I am so tired of people labeling other people with narcissism over the smallest things.
This is why i strongly dislike when social media learns a word or a phrase lol because people then over use it and misuse it and completely diluted the trrue meaning of the word.
It’s honestly a fascinating phenomenon to observe, at least it would be if it wasn’t so horrifying. Terms like depression and anxiety get thrown around so much that it seems people don’t even have a frame of reference even in the ball park of what those things actually are.
I'm sick of it too
It is a very interesting social phenomenon. It remains to be seen how helpful or harmful it will be to have more awareness about it. Ironically, listening to the horror stories of some victims, I can see that their disordered person may have been autistic, or actually met the criteria for a completely different cluster b disorder (antisocial personality disorder often gets overlooked) but they all zero in on "narcissism" lol
I am affected by these narcisist people.
I reached this term after searching for some people characters.
It's not like I heard this word and started labelling people into this.
It's the other way round
Facts. People learn what they perceive to be a big take down and then they use it on anyone who they believe have wronged them. Same with comparing people to Hitler or events to the Holocaust. Total irreverence to the severity what that would actually mean.
Even the “narcisistic smirk” can be done by other people being cruel for various reasons
I often catch myself having a tense smirk when i am attentively trying to listen to someone even though i feel the urge to judge something but i want to see a bigger part of it before intervening. I feel like it can creep people out. Guess i'm being cruel to myself at the very least.
Wtf is a narccisitc smirk. I swear one of my ex's was exactly everything a narc is. I read about it after and was like omg this , this right here , is the exact same way he was and these are things are all of theh the things he would do. It was errie It's like they really wrote a description of him. I also learned what gaslighting was and was my god that's the word for what he constantly did. When I spoke back to him and wouldn't let his saying I was crazy and he didn't do or say a certain thing go he would get cruel. And say well his intentions were noble anyway. And then he'd do something shitty later cause I had questioned him. when I was like no , you are just lying to my face now or he realised I really could see what he was like and was just disgusted with him he almost seemed upset and hurt and anxious. . And he was such a good liar and he loved present ing himself as this special guy with a legacy to leave . But I see a lot of people throwing it around and I do wonder sometimes if all these people are really narcs. But it wasn't all my ex's who I could call a narc. He was good at lying , too.
Have you never been invalidated by this very smirk when the person has zero care for you in that moment? Narcissists do this and and they also have arms and legs, too. No one cares if every other type of person has arms and legs.
People who try to read others are not healthy either. Mind reading is literally a coping mechanism- I used to do it alllll of the time. It’s not healthy.
People need to communicate talk to one another, learn how to express oneself, ask questions and GO TO A LICENSED therapist!
Thank you for mentioning autism, unfortunately autistic people have been mislabeled as a narcissist, their whole lives, and carry a great deal of trauma with them because of it
The feeling or sensation of "knowing" is very seductive for some people. It's like a drug. People who think they know things they don't know or can't possibly know do a lot of damage in the world.
“No, no, no, no” 😅
I love your boldness and that you choose to speak up about what's wrong.
As someone with Mixed Personality Disorder (with Dependant, narcissistic, borderline, and obsessive compulsive traits), thank you for making this video. We really need to combat the stigma around self esteem issues. I've seen insecurity used as an insult way too often, as if being insecure is some sort of moral failure.
I've seen similar things with people doing BPD awareness things on social media, saying things like "it's okay to not be okay" and then turn around and call everyone they don't like a narcissist.
We're all human, we all deserve a chance at a better life and a better relationship with ourselves and with others.
I agree with you totally, but I think the reason people feel that way about the cluster B personality disorders is because they are so destructive to other people, in addition to the person with the disorder. That's different view compared to, say major depression disorder, which is considered more destructive to the person afflicted with it (and thus garners more sympathy from others)
I work with a manager that has all eight traits of OCPD, and also shows some overlap with narcissism. Facial expressions had very little to do with my realization. What stood out was a massive disconnect from basic empathy, an equally odd sense of entitlement to one-way respect, and a relentless exploitation and devaluation of the people closest to him.
The healthiest content I've found on UA-cam is Heidi Priebe, who focuses on learning more about our own attachment issues, and defense mechanisms that make us vulnerable to abuse. Many others almost stoke the flames of rumination, rather than healing.
Her taking the responsibility to tackle the problem once she realised she was it speaks volumes. That's the definition of the word response ability. Impressive. She's taken account and responded.
Mad respect to the last person, crazy amount of self awareness and acceptance
I really see it as extreme emotional immaturity in a way. Like the person hasn’t gotten their needs met so consistently they just are so deeply hungry for emotional nurturing they really do seem selfish because they have seen everyone get needs met they feel like they have to fight to get theirs met. It’s trauma and inconsistent parenting from what I understand. I have been up close to it. They’re not a bad person Over years and learning their upbringing and way of thinking, they’re not a big bad evil narcissist, they’re a traumatized person. I am too, but, my trauma didn’t wire me that way, they did get wired that way and it sucks. They don’t have dead eyes. They smile. They love. They just are not emotionally mature enough to show up the way most their age would. Just gotta lower my expectations. Boundaries.
❤
Idk a bit of a different note, but i find it quite od of how that blonde tiktoker talks abt Narcissism through their expressionless features particularly the eyes, then their she goes doing the exact same thing, so should I be worried abt her now because of her red flags on her expressions that also kick started my bad feelings abt her?! 🤣
literally came to the comments section to see if anyone else thought this 😂
Too much botox, perhaps 🤔
Yeeeessss very weird isnt it?
Glad someone is finally speaking about this. I think the spotlight on narcissism at first was refreshing for people who have been victimized by narcissists, but after a while the influx of content started to give me bad vibes, for lack of a better phrase. People are way too heavy-handed "diagnosing" everyone as a narcissist, to the point where it just feels like weaponized therapy speak. I do suspect some projection is also going on, the people who screech the loudest about narcissists often seem kind of narcissistic in their own right.
🎯
I think the missionformation about micro expressions might have been popularized by the show "Lie to me".
Thanks for this really important video, Ana! Personally, I don't like the fact that narcissism has become a fashionable term to denigrate other people. I also think it's great that you included one of Jacob Skidmore's videos, because it was through him that I became interested in really understanding narcissism. It was also through him that I found Mark Ettensohn, who does really great content on the subject, and sees people with narcissistic personality disorder as people with flaws without devaluing their whole being, and treats the subject sensitively. I would also like to see an in-depth video from you on the subject, perhaps with an interesting study.
Two of my favorites also! They helped me gain important healing and closure after I left a family member I suspect had NPD/BPD
It's not new that people casually throw some words such as bully, fascism, or antisocial to those they want to criticize, regardless if the other party actually qualifies as one. When you give a name to something you don't like about someone, it's just makes it easier to justify and rationalize hating them.
Can you done an analysis of the work of Dr. Ramani? Her whole thing is narcissism and I think there are major elements of truth to her work, but it seems to have spawned an entire industry of UA-cam channels devoted to talking about and villainizing narcissism
I'd love this. I had to stop watching her content because I realized that most of it wasn't productive for healing or understanding. It was purely for demonizing an already traumatized group of people
Thanks for this balanced, compassionate, rational, and scientifically informed take, Ana.
The story distortion video sounds really interesting I’d love to see it! Thanks for your insights Ana you inspire me in my career ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Yes please that would be awesome to hear
It's outrageous.
I am in my masters program for psychotherapy and I love how educational your videos are!! thanks so much for putting in the time and effort to educate on this platform.
Nice video, Ana. going to be using some of these tiktok accounts as sources for information in the future. I just appreciate insight into different people's minds. I personally believe that clinical diagnoses are far less concrete than we think. And being able to accurately (with consistency) diagnose people with cluster B personality disorders is insanely difficult. These labels are all far less rigid than most people understand. Even psychologists (yeah, i said it lol). People are insanely complex and trying to put people in boxes without living through their experience is just an extremely difficult task for various reasons. That said, the current trend of diagnosing people with NPD because you don't like them or they seem somewhat off is just ridiculous lol.
The empath part 👏🏼 Yes Ana!! 😅
Hey Anna, I’ve been a follower for a little while, I’m not sure exactly but I stumbled upon your content a handful of months ago and you’ve easily been one of my favorite channels. Love it
The real question: Since watching you, I’ve stumbled on videos that are akin to it but I was wondering if you could ever weigh in on self- sabotage, consciously wanting to better yourself but the fortitude of such activity (I.e writing for instance) You want to be a writer but because it sustains so much effort and because you maybe just a novice at such activity, it keeps you from doing it.
I’ve been trying to work on myself for a little while now, and this is something I still find myself constantly distracted by. Anyways, thanks for the content and keep doing what you’re doing ❤
Thank you so much! I believe I have a somewhat older video on self-sabotage, and one on procrastination from a few months ago that might touch on the topic you're seeking :) But I plan on doing more videos on the execution phase of goals in the near future!
@@AnaPsychology 18:25 spelled access to forum as “acess just trying to help (looks bad)
I feel like a lot of these misconceptions come from the term itself. Narcissism, the disorder, is the complete opposite of the story of Narcissus, so no wonder people are confused by it. I find it very strange.
I've heard someone say it before: "I rather be in a room with someone in remission from or have actively worked hard on their personality disorder than someone who has never reflected on themselves."
Do we all have a capacity for narcissism, does it serve some function in how we regulate self esteem ect ect? I feel like personality disorder is much different from narcissistic personality traits from the index.
Yep, we all lie somewhere on the spectrum like a bell curve, with most people containing a few subthreshold narcissistic traits, very few people that have none at all, and very few people that meet criteria for NPD. The issue is that people are now conflating NPD with subclinical narcissistic traits and use this as a justification for why they're "not diagnosing anyone." In reality, determining where someone falls on that spectrum is a challenging and complex process that should be done by professionals, especially since we also need to rule out other disorders that may present with similar symptoms.
No different than how I was called a Psychopath all my life untill the doctors admitted that us Autistics and ADHDers were not psychopaths
Thanks for covering these topics/issues and adding nuance to them as pop psychology is seemingly running rampant (…again/still), especially on platforms like TikTok and Instagram where so many people, regardless of age, get their information and form their ideas of self and others. 🙏🏻😊
I hope you make a similar video about psychopathy and sociopathy in the future
Finally!!! I been profiled so many times it's ridiculous.😢 I'm happy this is now happening. These people have sabotage my opportunities. Told lies about my character. I knew that it wasnt me so I NEVER retaliate I just stop talking to them.
I'm autistic and I'm so bad at facial expressions, I fake smile a lot in order to mask and fit in when I'm in social situations. I wonder if some people deemed me to be a narcissist for that...
Definitely do that video on the distorted reality! 👍At least one person will watch it!
Even in others videos I’ve seen of doctors discussing narcissism, it’s always sort of presented as “us vs. them” and looking back, that perception really just contributes more to this idea that narcissists are inherently evil and beyond rehabilitation.
THANK YOU for this video! I was wondering if you can make a similar video about people on social media doing this with autism.
I’m autistic myself (I was diagnosed a couple years ago by my therapist) and while I understand why self-“diagnosis” is a thing in the autistic community, people go way too far with it. And many try to diagnose celebrities or fictional characters as autistic based on nothing
People with NPD are some of the strongest people. I loved seeing the creators you featured. I was hoping to see Clusterbmilkshake, our Godmother. Taking accountability is beautiful. I hate hearing they can’t be self aware.
Great video Ana!
Theyre not 💀. I love and was raised and still love someone that has npd but to say their strong is laughable. Ain’t nothing strong having the emotional maturity of a toddler
@@magikarp308birds of a feather flock together. Go laugh then boo.
For them to experience such abuse and to continue going and working themselves is strength.
@@magikarp308 projecting like this should get you sent to the psych ward btw
A couple of notions I'd like cleared up if anyone's willing to indulge me:
1. The notion if you're concerned if you might be a narcissist, it definitely means you're not one and have nothing to worry about. To what degree is that accurate?
2. Everyone has a degree of narcissism, that people need a healthy level of it for survival's sake. We only call someone a narcissist when their levels spill over the brim.
1. I think that's based on the assumption that, a true narcissist would never question themselves. Nor would they care if they were. But the cluster b personality disorders exist in a spectrum as everything else does, so some who are trying to have better understanding are capable of self reflection and awareness....the problem is connecting the dots in real time to prevent fractured relationships.
2. Absolutely true! Without a certain degree of self focus, I would imagine a person could neglect their own needs to a rather severe degree
1. Not at all
Every narc I have ever met knows they had a "cold childhood", or know something is wrong with them, they have to mask etc, they may not have insight to their antisocial behaviour, but they know they are different atleast.
2. Healthy Narcissism is a healthy and nuanced self perception. Narcs over compensate because they actually have no ego. That's why it's "unfixable" with severe status quo changes, the defenses come out no matter what you do.
NPD is this self perception not being contained to the self anymore, so children become your extensions, basically everyone does because you have no ego to support yourself, it's sort is psychotic lol
Love how we are bringing back vibes based demonisation of anyone not neurotypical through the backdoor.
I have experienced by a diagnosed covert narcissist. And it true, say it over years
I always learn so much with you Ana. Thank you so much !
I love your stuff! You say a lot of insightful and helpful things.
I actually watched his blue twinkling eyes change to black. His eyes were black, blank, crazy like he had come out of his skin. Saw the black eyes again when someone took his pic at work. He was having an affair and in love and he couldn't stand the site of me. After 23 years, he hates me to make himself feel better. Couldn't believe he would ever be so cruel and deceitful but he was. He turned into a monster and I didn't even know who he was? It's a trip. It's so sad for a person to be able to treat any human being with such hatred.
PLEASE make that video about distorting reality.
It might interest you, in Chase Hughes interview last week on DRVN podcast, about an hour in, he speaks of facial features and personality types.
The hell? 😂 And i thought i saw narcissistic traits so often in many places.... But this is something else.
Too many clout chasers in Tiktok 🙄
Hi Ana! Would you be interested in creating a video on addiction, and how to support a loved one going through addiction? I'd love to hear your take on this side of mental health.
Also, if you ever wanted to do a crossover collab on this topic with Jakob (aka The Nameless Narcissist on YT) I would probably s**t myself with delight LOL
I love your content, it's always so high quality🤩. Thanks you so much for all the knowledge you share, you've helped me so much to better understand how to deal with life. Hoping for that video about distorting reality.
Thanks for the video!
This was a much needed video
Could you please discuss physical & sexual assault and genital mutilation, as expressions of narcissism.
yes please could you do a video on distorting reality? It would be really interesting 🙌🏾
Thank you:) That helped me to understand narcisissm better. It must be a real burden to have this diagnosis as it is so stigmatized in society. Maybe the mythological Narciss wasn't even narcissitic 🙈
As a speech therapist I would be really interested in topics concerning the connection of voice and emotion. Also it would be interesting if you could react to videos by the School of Life. Wish you a calm evening all.
ive heard the word narcissism everywhere now, even my partners dad is calling everyone but him one. Im dumbfounded. my sister says all of her ex's are - though I think so too haha. It's just crazy. not everybody is !!!!
Love the content; love that intro groove☺
Well when it's a pattern yeah, person maybe highly narcissistic, but I give him them same looks
Not quite on the triggered by "seeing something you do in themselves." They are far more likely to be triggered by seeing something that their abusers did to them and were told they were wrong so many times in their life and taking their feelings of injustice and pain and hatred of their abusers and tormentors out on the "self aware narcissists."
Not everything is, simplistic, "if you spot it you got it." And to not offer any other suggestion as to why people take hatred out on narcissists who speak about how abusive they are to people in their lives on video is, among worse things, shortsighted.
amen sister
Good video!
3:51 it’s giving Eugenics smh
All those videos are so cringe 😬 Anyone who does this kind of this either aren’t licensed/degreed or they are and, um, what are you doing? This type of thing goes against alllll the things you’re taught not to do.
as a narcissist i agree with you
Lol I'm glad the pop-psyche narcissist slander is stopping. I feel like people who have antisocial personality disorders get a bad wrap, which is understandable, but for the most part I think we just find most normal people as totally insignificant 😭
@@UniMatrix_1 what the hell u talkin bout
I'm expressing my belief that this personality disorder does not make us bad people despite the fact that we dont value other humans as much as they would like us to
@@UniMatrix_1 you are right, i will always love myself
@@UniMatrix_1 you self objectified yourself at some point and this is the result. You still have work to do yourself my boi regardless of the extent of your external locus of control, if you have the intellect 😉
Please!! drop the distortion vid!!!
I get why people would be wary of narcissists, but bigotry is not the answer. We need neurodivergent solidarity! We need to give NPDers a safe space to develop healthy coping strategies.
Can you make a video about ghosting please.
??? Dr. Ana~ Have you contacted this therapist in order to create a healthy dialogue? Thank you! 💞💞💞
So I love Robert Greene who self-identifies with narcissistic traits but I wonder if when he says “the narcissist” is he actually referring to the disorder. I hope NPD, the name, gets changed in my lifetime. Everyone is throwing out Narcissist even when they're not referring to the personality disorder.
Dude we do realize that there are muscles in the face??!! Like health conditions can affect the face, this is just pure idiocracy hahaha thanks for the video!
Amazing video
Buna Ana, nu faci si un video in limba romana sau in care iti expui biografia? Ar fi interesant pentru urmaritori :D.
what is the difference between narcissism and abusers
A diagnosis!
Not all abusers are narcissistic, not all narcissists are abusers.
But all abusers are jerks and it's very very important that we don't label jerks as narcissistic. But a NPD diagnosis must be given through a proper process.
Lol funny enough I was typing that and she just said the not all line
But certainly you can't diagnosis anyone by looking in to the eyes and it's soooo dangerous to say this.
I like these videos waaay too much
Aren't the eyes of the lady describing how you can spot a narsiscist, a little... blank? :)
Wow robert greene was featured! have you ever done a video on his art of seduction and power?
Funny that first gal actually has pretty dead eyes. That said, I’d never attempt to diagnose her with a personality disorder, or anything else, over it.
Oh my goodness- i have been in tears how many times and looked up,only to be confronted by a blank face
Who is the last girl’s tiktok you showed? I’d like to give her a follow
I have seen that woman's channel- I forgot her name
She sounds like Naomi Campbell
I love you Anna
🐱👍 Please don't forget to feed your cat
🍦🐈✨️
is it possible to know if an ex that lied to you about seeing someone new and is still reaching out months later, is doing that out of narcissistic validation or pure guilt? or something else? i really can’t tell what his intentions are. he’s very young (19) so i’m not sure if it’s just emotional immaturity or he’s trying to just see if i’ll respond and is actively manipulating me. it’s driving me crazy because usually im good at this 😂
Hoovering.
I feel like in most cases narcissists won’t even admit they are actually narcissists
Dr Ramani is an expert on this - I suppose that she falls into the 1%😊
Wrong o. Heal NPD on UA-cam covered her and the misinformation she put out.
She's found the perfect niche.
@SallySkellington94 I agree, she demonizes people with NPD.
Dr Ramani is very helpful. She helps people who were hurt by narcissists. We need people like her. Too few narcissist go to therapy to not hurt other people. And even they already have plenty of people who they have hurt. Narcissists are not the victims in our narcissistic society.
@@nhvkuy4675 I understand her role, but I see issues in the narc abuse recovery community- which helped me at one point- but it's a little toxic. I choose to be understanding towards cluster b's & not all ppl with NPD are abusers, NPD is a trauma response usually.
I see in his eyes, Robert Greene is a narcissist 😂
I want demon girl as a friend.
Oof, the second girl was kind of creepy. It's sad because it's just her face but that flat affect was just so off putting
thank you for making this video 🫶 it really helps me step back and re-think about those assumptions that I make unconsciously based on small things !!
❤
without a clinical diagnosis, this pretty much confirms to me that my wife is a narcissist.
"you can diagnose someone's personality disorder from looking at their face". No. I understand that you might be able to find similarities in npd people's patterns of facial expressions and body language. But knowing for sure that the person is deeply, irreparably disordered, just from their facial expressions, is unrealistic and silly to claim.
I sometimes wonder if the creators of these accounts on tiktok and Instagram who make ill informed content like this, actually know that they're wrong, and are just baiting for engagement. Seems so unlikely a grown person would believe in all of this nonsense.
21:39 I actually feel extremely sad for #45 because of this, he must have been terribly abused as a child.
I agree. While being with a narcissist can be very hurtful, if you get close to them and have the luck to see their vulnerability slips through the mask, it's just a person with unbelievably low self esteem.
Just broke up with a guy who fits most symptoms of a narcissist. I am extremely hurt by what he had done to me but at the same time I know exactly where it is from and feel so heartbroken for him. Knowing he is not capable to even love himself...really kills me. And it's exceptionally challenging for me to walk the fine line of showing understanding of his behaviour but not rationalizing his abuse.
You're so cute
Clear language, you say? You are censoring out crucial sounds in the word 'abuse'. Get real .