This Low-Budget Horror Movie is Terrifying...For All The Wrong Reasons

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  • Опубліковано 25 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 9 тис.

  • @kurtisconner
    @kurtisconner  3 роки тому +3222

    Use code “KURTIS” for 20% off in the first week (10% after)
    RhinoShield All Cases: bit.ly/Kurtis-RhinoShield
    RhinoShield Collab Designs: bit.ly/Kurtis-RS-Collabs

  • @BTwiseman
    @BTwiseman 3 роки тому +3920

    The scene with the lady going back and asking if she has time to talk is just like a RPG like Fallout or Mass Effect when you accidentally leave the conversation and have to go back and talk to them.

    • @70ren
      @70ren 3 роки тому +50

      True!!! BTW these spam bots!! WTF?

    • @emilyb.8219
      @emilyb.8219 3 роки тому +61

      @@70ren They've become so much worse the last month or so and youtube does jack squat about it, it's so annoying

    • @Ashh602
      @Ashh602 3 роки тому +26

      @@emilyb.8219 honestly it’s just insane how there’s no moderation or spam control on a site that’s been around this long

    • @imaghost2961
      @imaghost2961 7 місяців тому +2

      Don’t forget about Elderscrolls games! 😆

    • @Crypted112
      @Crypted112 4 години тому +1

      3 years late but ayyy the spam bots are gone (at least from here)

  • @kennedynini5589
    @kennedynini5589 3 роки тому +11454

    so youre telling me that goblin engulfed a whole cougar, the husband, step son, and neighbor but was fine with settling with a bowl of dog food ???

    • @madkat1012
      @madkat1012 3 роки тому +1490

      well, it settled for the dog food... and sarah

    • @meganr2869
      @meganr2869 3 роки тому +351

      @@madkat1012 oh dear…

    • @mayapapaya02
      @mayapapaya02 3 роки тому +851

      don’t worry, when she gives birth it will eat the baby :)

    • @tiyself
      @tiyself 3 роки тому +290

      @@mayapapaya02 THE SMILE AJSKJSKS

    • @foussi739
      @foussi739 3 роки тому +427

      @@mayapapaya02 Food dispenser 😍

  • @WTFPr0m
    @WTFPr0m 3 роки тому +17886

    Pour one out for Elias. Spent his whole life preparing to fight a goblin, then immediately got fucked right up by literally the first goblin he ever met.

    • @adoresvelour3146
      @adoresvelour3146 3 роки тому +39

      WJEJDJSHSHS FR FR

    • @G0thBug
      @G0thBug 3 роки тому +90

      Not only that, but the goblin that ate him proceeded to bang his wife and get her pregnant 💀

    • @bia-zz4sj
      @bia-zz4sj 3 роки тому +374

      kinda relatable gotta say😕

    • @kazeiroP
      @kazeiroP 3 роки тому +330

      @@G0thBug Elias is the old guy

    • @universalpower419
      @universalpower419 3 роки тому +635

      @@G0thBug As Kurtis said, get some help, because there are only 5 characters and You still don't know who is who.

  • @willow0.0
    @willow0.0 Рік тому +6950

    Shnoopsie sounds like a word a Christian mom would use instead of swearing when she stubs her toe

    • @calowenby1654
      @calowenby1654 Рік тому +53

      Haha you're right.

    • @hayden1351
      @hayden1351 Рік тому +1

      or a christian mom trying to teach her kids about their privates

    • @hutki_shira
      @hutki_shira Рік тому +7

      600th like

    • @Lolololnp
      @Lolololnp Рік тому +15

      666th like

    • @vassilus915
      @vassilus915 Рік тому +24

      ​@@SpectralMagnolia I love America.

  • @alyssat.8793
    @alyssat.8793 3 роки тому +17876

    “You versus the goblin she told you not to worry about” except this time she absolutely DID tell you to worry about this goblin and you gaslit her and told her the goblin did not exist lmaoo

    • @Lilyjem39
      @Lilyjem39 3 роки тому +273

      BRO THIS COMMENT IS SO FUNNY LMAO

    • @elbownio5820
      @elbownio5820 3 роки тому +274

      Look at you now, you've been vored, cucked, and to top it off your lawn is covered in goblin shit.

    • @alfarhood4774
      @alfarhood4774 2 роки тому +148

      I mean to be fair, I wouldn’t exactly believe someone if they told me a goblin touched my window

    • @HopePapernacky
      @HopePapernacky 2 роки тому +57

      It’s not gaslighting, he didn’t know there was a goblin and he was trying to comfort her because he thought she was just being paranoid because they’re in a new place. He believed what he was saying, too.
      Not trying to defend him, he’s not a good guy, but that wasn’t gaslighting

    • @meowxp444
      @meowxp444 2 роки тому +86

      @@HopePapernacky it was a joke my boy

  • @rain.8480
    @rain.8480 3 роки тому +5531

    “just an old guy who knows shit about goblins” feels like a social media bio

    • @binnies69
      @binnies69 3 роки тому +71

      I just made this my instagram bio

    • @sunflower-yj3mv
      @sunflower-yj3mv 3 роки тому +15

      naur don't give them ideas

    • @peenyyt4921
      @peenyyt4921 3 роки тому +6

      @@rain.8480 nobody “old” has their pronouns in their bio

    • @keepyourshoesathedoor
      @keepyourshoesathedoor 3 роки тому +48

      @@peenyyt4921 yes they do. Depends on their personality

    • @nono7120
      @nono7120 3 роки тому +2

      I want to put that in my bio now

  • @pleasesetmeonfire1166
    @pleasesetmeonfire1166 3 роки тому +14670

    If the “oh god” line of dialogue doesn’t become a recurring soundbite throughout Kurtis’s channel from now on, I’m going to be disappointed. That is “makin it stinky” tier audio.

  • @TheNicholle23
    @TheNicholle23 Рік тому +2530

    I love that the actor who played Danny Jr. Told Kurtis on his podcast that he legit went into acting because he liked a girl in the drama class lmao

    • @shwahgamer
      @shwahgamer Рік тому +197

      That's why Michael Cane went into acting, too. He said there were a ton of pretty girls in his acting school and he wanted to get laid.

    • @joshc5613
      @joshc5613 Рік тому +82

      ​@@shwahgamerwell, he also became an award winning actor in the process so....

    • @fishkid1177
      @fishkid1177 4 місяці тому +19

      HE WAS ON THE PODCAST!!!???

    • @biacherrylikeme
      @biacherrylikeme 2 місяці тому

      @@fishkid1177 ua-cam.com/video/uVvMJQqDsMk/v-deo.htmlsi=uSiy0WfrvsmZ_ZS9
      YESSS ITS INTERVIEWING DANNY JR FOM GOBLIN ON VERY REALLY GOOD LOL
      kind of insane

    • @MegaMuchoGacha
      @MegaMuchoGacha Місяць тому +11

      ua-cam.com/video/uVvMJQqDsMk/v-deo.htmlsi=nZBK94ijT6Dl0R6a this episode // episode #168 for anyone wondering

  • @luisfilipe2747
    @luisfilipe2747 3 роки тому +9313

    The "Hey you got a minute" sounds like when you end a conversation with an npc and then he passes by you and start a conversation again

    • @gabriellac6134
      @gabriellac6134 3 роки тому +27

      💀

    • @Tw0Dots
      @Tw0Dots 3 роки тому +72

      Hey. Have you ever been to Cloud City?

    • @jinnie4271
      @jinnie4271 3 роки тому +123

      "Do you get to the cloud district very often?"
      "Oh, what am I saying?"
      "Of course you don't"

    • @combat_chameleon
      @combat_chameleon 3 роки тому +6

      shenmue vibes

    • @AkumaDayo
      @AkumaDayo 3 роки тому +58

      "Hm? Need something?"

  • @lucyservo6574
    @lucyservo6574 3 роки тому +4464

    "You're not a train, you're a movie" THAT WAS TOP TIER KURT

    • @kathaai
      @kathaai 3 роки тому +31

      what's with these bot replies

    • @ilovemusicssooomuch283
      @ilovemusicssooomuch283 3 роки тому +2

      @@kathaai FRR/I love loona

    • @lucyservo6574
      @lucyservo6574 3 роки тому +9

      @@kathaai dude I see them every time I comment something. So weird

    • @sorryifoldcomment8596
      @sorryifoldcomment8596 3 роки тому +11

      @@kathaai Report all of them! It's what I'm doing. If they get enough reports, they'll be deleted. It's driving me crazy. The same accounts flooded Jarvis's video too.

  • @angelica-ii1yk
    @angelica-ii1yk 3 роки тому +12218

    kurtis editing shrek into that one scene was legitimately scarier than the entire movie

    • @teenyweenytelevision
      @teenyweenytelevision 3 роки тому +284

      SERIOUSLY ASFHWLRFHRW i had my volume up and didn't see it coming so it genuinely scared the shit outta me

    • @mariaochs
      @mariaochs 3 роки тому +97

      I laughed so hard

    • @swordkitty
      @swordkitty 3 роки тому +79

      OHH HELLO THERE

    • @angiewinchester3384
      @angiewinchester3384 3 роки тому +91

      The scariest thing about this movie is the implications at the end.

    • @toothfairy10133
      @toothfairy10133 3 роки тому +13

      i nearly fell off my chair

  • @Shinntoku
    @Shinntoku Рік тому +1294

    As soon as I saw the goblin eat someone I thought "this is someone fetish film isn't it?" And I think that ending proved me right

    • @James_Randal
      @James_Randal Рік тому +208

      Oh my god you might be right, it's a fucking fetish film, that makes so much sense.

    • @Pragabond
      @Pragabond Рік тому +138

      Yeah a fetish film made by a goblin

    • @gizmo_gadgets6482
      @gizmo_gadgets6482 5 місяців тому +64

      The fact that I thought “goblin vore lol” right after seeing the goblin eat someone whole helps your point

    • @taskforce_frog
      @taskforce_frog 4 місяці тому +23

      That goblin be goblin more than just dogs

    • @gimme_ur_bones
      @gimme_ur_bones 4 місяці тому

      Considering how many horror movies are actually fetish films, I wouldn't be surprised 😭

  • @firestarhk3875
    @firestarhk3875 2 роки тому +15008

    I love how she screwed the goblin and is having his baby but he still has to live in the shed and have his food brought to him like a pet rather than a human-goblin hybrid baby daddy.

    • @clownrat5759
      @clownrat5759 2 роки тому +1123

      Well yeah can’t be too sure it won’t eat the baby or her other kid for dominance 😍

    • @decibels552
      @decibels552 2 роки тому +1084

      Don’t kink shame

    • @-cloudii-
      @-cloudii- 2 роки тому +173

      Stop- 😭😭

    • @-cloudii-
      @-cloudii- 2 роки тому +397

      Goblin Hybrid Baby Daddy??? 😭😭😭😭

    • @vent.ill.alligator
      @vent.ill.alligator 2 роки тому +1

      She no longer let men to control her life or be the superior one, therefore this creature must know its place

  • @nathaliemillerr
    @nathaliemillerr 3 роки тому +32770

    as soon as it said “9 months later” I just had a horrible feeling about what they were implying and I hate that I was right

    • @causeistillwantyou7516
      @causeistillwantyou7516 3 роки тому +517

      Omg me too

    • @advantgardeboy2007
      @advantgardeboy2007 3 роки тому +262

      Me too

    • @seal8900
      @seal8900 3 роки тому +2710

      The only time 9 months is mentioned in movies is to imply pregnancy

    • @baddie1shoe
      @baddie1shoe 3 роки тому +1077

      She gave him a shy smile when she served that kibble. Like..what kind of penis does a goblin have? I imagine it’s barbed tho

    • @cannedrabies
      @cannedrabies 3 роки тому +1516

      @@baddie1shoe i just assumed it was all wrinkly and shriveled up, like a rotten jalapeno

  • @marm5648
    @marm5648 3 роки тому +2004

    Her being pregnant nine months after Danny was eaten by the goblin, and having the belly of a 7-8 months pregnant woman, implies that she slept with the goblin around a month after he ate her husband and step son, damn Sarah is WILD
    I knew something was up with her from her moaning “oh god” after seeing the goblin’s hand for the first time

    • @click.beetle
      @click.beetle 3 роки тому +55

      💀💀💀

    • @narcie13
      @narcie13 3 роки тому +51

      I mean I get your point & it’s funny to think about, but you know you can’t necessarily tell how far along someone is by how big their stomach is, right? Lol. Obviously if it’s huge it’s safe to say they’re pretty far along, but some people’s stomachs aren’t that big even at the very end of their pregnancy.

    • @e·̊-h6b
      @e·̊-h6b 3 роки тому +5

      LMFAO

    • @saravictoria5256
      @saravictoria5256 3 роки тому +29

      @@narcie13 there are normals, and if you're well educated on the subject you can guess and be around right. But people are in fact different and every pregnancy is unique.

    • @dahanafdz9996
      @dahanafdz9996 3 роки тому +44

      @@narcie13 but if you do the maths, babies typically born between the eight almost nine months of pregnancy, if the baby was from danny we can asume that maybe she was a few weeks pregnant so if it's 9 months later the baby should've already born...... if 9 months after danny's death she hasn't had the baby i think we all can come to the conclusion that that is NOT danny's baby 🤨🤨🤨

  • @therealblacktronempire1987
    @therealblacktronempire1987 2 роки тому +1345

    I love the old mans stereotypes in this movie, because he's the most german man I've ever seen in a low budged movie. He's got a realistic accent (didn't expect that!), of course he knows everything about some random medieval legend and dedicates his life to it, and he's got random prussian weaponery hanging in his home. Also why does he instantly think the anomalys are caused by a goblin? That pretty coincidental! He just moves from Germany to America to escape that Goblin, and there just happens to be the same goblin right next door?

    • @calowenby1654
      @calowenby1654 Рік тому +148

      Maybe goblins are attracted to elderly German men lol.

    • @therealblacktronempire1987
      @therealblacktronempire1987 Рік тому +78

      @@calowenby1654 But Sarah wasn't an elderly german man tho- or was she?🤤

    • @JoshuaDuncan-o1u
      @JoshuaDuncan-o1u Рік тому +46

      ​@@calowenby1654 The goblins got a type 😏😏

    • @NovelPhoinixTheSecond
      @NovelPhoinixTheSecond Рік тому +9

      I don't know about the realistic accent part...

    • @Army_Dog
      @Army_Dog 4 місяці тому

      ​@@NovelPhoinixTheSecondidk, he kinda sounds like a male version of Esther from Orphan only a way worse actor

  • @alex-fs9yt
    @alex-fs9yt 3 роки тому +6544

    Goblin: *eats Sarah's step-son, neighbour and husband*
    Sarah: he do be thicc though 😍

    • @fart63
      @fart63 3 роки тому +132

      The most disturbing part to me is the fact that she’s not even in a relationship with the goblin like it doesn’t live in her house with her it lives in her shed and shits in her yard like a dog

    • @714KH
      @714KH 2 роки тому +42

      lmfaooooo

    • @unnithan-sg4gm
      @unnithan-sg4gm 2 роки тому +22

      LMAO

    • @exhaustednerd1522
      @exhaustednerd1522 2 роки тому +128

      "I gotta eat"

    • @gayvagina7353
      @gayvagina7353 2 роки тому +89

      That goblin got Gonkers
      That goblin got Gommy Gilkers

  • @lauraguzman3617
    @lauraguzman3617 3 роки тому +10522

    “You vs the goblin she told you not to worry about” had me in tears

  • @anyrija.
    @anyrija. 3 роки тому +6234

    "old guy who knows a lot about goblins" has to be a reoccurring character

    • @249aaa
      @249aaa 3 роки тому +24

      dont get too attached to him

    • @elvenbugs
      @elvenbugs 3 роки тому +38

      new movie trope???

    • @whawhawhawhaaaa
      @whawhawhawhaaaa 3 роки тому +23

      One in Trolls 2 as well

    • @Jezabella2002
      @Jezabella2002 3 роки тому +23

      That's my only personality trait

    • @DKF_oli
      @DKF_oli 3 роки тому +1

      Grandpa seth

  • @beck-nightengale
    @beck-nightengale Рік тому +247

    As soon as I saw "9 months later" I knew where it was going... I just knew it.
    And yet nothing could have prepared me for that.

  • @leinaamatsuji-berry561
    @leinaamatsuji-berry561 3 роки тому +3562

    Ngl the goblin just absolutely taking out all the men that aren’t literally Sarah’s own child is… something to think about…

    • @eialys
      @eialys 3 роки тому +659

      A wee possessive, ain’t he? I’m guessing that’s what won her over tho... So goofy so silly 🤪

    • @donkeykong8389
      @donkeykong8389 3 роки тому +299

      @@eialys So is this a dating strategy you would recommend?

    • @rorygiambalvo2955
      @rorygiambalvo2955 3 роки тому +191

      It's the opposite of the infanticide seen in many ape societies. Goblin learned to read the room with Sarah

    • @amber5802
      @amber5802 3 роки тому +182

      Yes the goblin was courting sarah

    • @adeer87
      @adeer87 3 роки тому +188

      I’m getting Wattpad vibes

  • @itsmoon1996
    @itsmoon1996 3 роки тому +4733

    I thought the goblin was actually going to be her husband who “died” at war and he was turned into that creature due to some sick government experiment… the actual ending was so much worse 🙃

    • @antichrist1975
      @antichrist1975 3 роки тому +78

      SAME LMFAO

    • @milessara87
      @milessara87 3 роки тому +248

      That my friend, will be the plot of Goblin 2!

    • @louna5269
      @louna5269 3 роки тому +381

      I think you put more thought into that than anyone did for the actual movie :(

    • @nataliaescamilla8449
      @nataliaescamilla8449 3 роки тому +66

      That would’ve made it sm better

    • @Max_The_Flower
      @Max_The_Flower 3 роки тому +22

      @@milessara87 there already is a Goblin 2, it’s called Troll 2.

  • @GamerSisters
    @GamerSisters 3 роки тому +9309

    Nothing could've prepared me for that actually horrifying ending

    • @_eIIa_
      @_eIIa_ 3 роки тому +402

      MY JAW DROPPED AND STAYED THAT WAY TILL THE END LMAO

    • @Lore-o7j
      @Lore-o7j 3 роки тому +199

      The ending broke me

    • @saorise28
      @saorise28 3 роки тому +46

      I haven't reached the end yet... Should I stop watching?

    • @Lore-o7j
      @Lore-o7j 3 роки тому +176

      @@saorise28 The ending is so insane you should see the movie just for it

    • @hilary8533
      @hilary8533 3 роки тому +30

      Oooo godddd

  • @kaw8473
    @kaw8473 Рік тому +891

    I would be so offended at a teacher wasting my time, calling a meeting and accusing me of shit over a drawing like that. It just looks like the kid was trying to draw Shrek. That's what I'm most fired up about lol

    • @MiyakoPisces4.0
      @MiyakoPisces4.0 Рік тому +4

      Huh?!.

    • @LauraRBorre
      @LauraRBorre 10 місяців тому +5

      Me to like😭

    • @realdragon
      @realdragon 9 місяців тому +27

      "This is my family, this is my mom, our dog and Shrek lives with us"

  • @theexploraholic
    @theexploraholic 3 роки тому +1374

    As someone who works at a school, if a mom who came every day to pick up their child heard the dad had picked up the child and seemed concerned, we would drop everything and try to figure it out, not just say “good day and also your kid has good art skills but it’s kinda scary”

    • @byrnetdown6076
      @byrnetdown6076 3 роки тому +45

      this is good to hear

    • @completlynormalhypernova666
      @completlynormalhypernova666 3 роки тому +24

      That seems like a very suspicious thing. Idk why the teacher was like "ok and btw he drew a little goblin"

    • @normalhuman9878
      @normalhuman9878 5 місяців тому +9

      Not a teacher but I do work with kids and if this happened, I would immediately ask if I needed to call the police

    • @obeymekat6038
      @obeymekat6038 Місяць тому +4

      especially considering that she had no idea the dad picked him up which means he didn't tell her

  • @beck2682
    @beck2682 3 роки тому +2094

    i was already laughing at the twist ending but the “you vs. the goblin she tells you not to worry about” joke literally made me fall over

    • @sekoseko893
      @sekoseko893 3 роки тому

      ua-cam.com/video/FSSFgWlDbJU/v-deo.html…….

    • @thedestroyasystem
      @thedestroyasystem 3 роки тому +10

      Honestly, funniest shit I’ve heard all day

  • @LoveLee_Dreamer
    @LoveLee_Dreamer 3 роки тому +1922

    The fact that Danny FOUND a cougar, and that's glossed over like yeah of *course* he found a cougar in the suburbs that wasn't actually going around eating smaller animals.

    • @emilyb.8219
      @emilyb.8219 3 роки тому +114

      Also it's surely not legal to hunt cougars, especially ones that aren't posing a threat to people

    • @jowbabadook8530
      @jowbabadook8530 3 роки тому +44

      It's possible that it was just a cougar eating smaller animals and the goblin showed up by coincidence

    • @blaszaczka
      @blaszaczka 3 роки тому +92

      And the fact he skinned it in his backyard and hung it up on a swing???

    • @LoveLee_Dreamer
      @LoveLee_Dreamer 3 роки тому +57

      @@blaszaczka You mean to tell me that ISN'T a perfectly normal suburban activity to take part in!?

    • @blaszaczka
      @blaszaczka 3 роки тому +24

      @@LoveLee_Dreamer I honestly don't know what Americans do in their free time, I'm Slavic, were just chillin' with our vodka while slav squatting

  • @MissKipperz
    @MissKipperz Рік тому +360

    I love how in the illustration of a goblin terrorizing a village has no goblin in the picture just some woman tossing her baby into a fire lol

    • @Your_Unlocal_idiot3
      @Your_Unlocal_idiot3 7 місяців тому +9

      She was smiling to

    • @mergenocide
      @mergenocide 6 місяців тому +27

      @@Your_Unlocal_idiot3 Definitely taking the opportunity to get rid of that baby "Oh no, crazy, goblin attack, my baby, no!"

    • @RailfoxStudios
      @RailfoxStudios 5 місяців тому +13

      Ancient forms of birth control be like

    • @DogMyCats
      @DogMyCats 4 місяці тому +1

      ​@@mergenocideGod damn it, I can't like this comment enough.

  • @zorinazutella3270
    @zorinazutella3270 3 роки тому +15191

    When she turned around and revealed her pregnant belly I legitimately screamed. That was by far the scariest part of this "horror" movie.

    • @bia-zz4sj
      @bia-zz4sj 3 роки тому +1918

      the SMIRK she gives to the goblin💀 crying and throwing up👋

    • @iknowthatyouregayfireflies9992
      @iknowthatyouregayfireflies9992 3 роки тому +502

      Now that's a horror movie.
      But I personally prefer the goblins from the cave.

    • @RockinRoyaltyx3
      @RockinRoyaltyx3 3 роки тому +353

      Pregnancy is pretty scary. 😩

    • @tulsikanodia
      @tulsikanodia 3 роки тому +242

      Also just 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

    • @plankofury
      @plankofury 3 роки тому +244

      Same here! But then I immediately started laugh crying out of shock .

  • @TwoBs
    @TwoBs 3 роки тому +12984

    I can’t stop laughing at how Danny Jr just ceased to exist and the family just didn’t care lol

    • @riyu3704
      @riyu3704 3 роки тому +37

      He might've been a little bitchy but come on he DIED. Anyways it's a lesson to be nice to people or they won't be sad about your death😔😜☠️

    • @atsuchiya624
      @atsuchiya624 2 роки тому +483

      Well he’s a “little fuckin’ brat” 4:51

    • @jackrabbit.
      @jackrabbit. 2 роки тому

      Well same with the fuckin boyfriend lol, he just seems cocky, that's not really a great reason to wish death upon him. This lady is just off the charts, she's like "Oh my new stepson died? Oh well. I want to kill my husband now. My husband's dead now? Let's fuck a goblin."

    • @iseetheWAYVision
      @iseetheWAYVision 2 роки тому +67

      I mean 🤷🏽‍♀️😂

    • @CadDriftarus
      @CadDriftarus 2 роки тому +104

      Honestly if there was a Danny Jr. In my life I don't think I'd mind them disappearing.

  • @mysterious8953
    @mysterious8953 3 роки тому +4076

    this movie is literally a wattpad that was never finished

  • @probablydeadinside7877
    @probablydeadinside7877 2 роки тому +461

    fun fact: people with anxiety tend to enjoy horror movies because it gives them a tangible threat to place their unreasonable amount of fear on! i know this because i have really bad anxiety and really love horror :]

    • @clairem6748
      @clairem6748 Рік тому +42

      I mean sometimes, sure, but i grew up hating horror because of how easily i transposed the creatures or creepy discoveries into my real life

    • @joyouslittleguy
      @joyouslittleguy Рік тому +8

      I'm late but this is so interesting!! I have rly bad anxiety and love horror movies too !

    • @cozycasasmr4510
      @cozycasasmr4510 Рік тому +13

      I have GAD and hate horror 🤣 but interesting theory coz I used to love true crime but that's more real events that could actually potentially happen to me so idk

    • @Okayyykian
      @Okayyykian Рік тому +19

      And then there’s me, with horrible anxiety who can’t watch horror movies because I get awful night terrors and won’t be able to sleep without every single light on everrr 😭

    • @hiiloveu1521
      @hiiloveu1521 Рік тому +7

      I have anxiety and I love horror movies too, but I can't watch them unless it's daytime and I'm in a well lit room with at least one person I'm comfortable with

  • @BrianaGarrett
    @BrianaGarrett 3 роки тому +2551

    Disappointed that Kurtis didn’t take the opportunity to note that “Goblin” is kind of a brilliant name for a movie about a great white shark, because he’s “goblin people up” 😂

  • @sketcher445
    @sketcher445 3 роки тому +3356

    I love that the “thermal vision” was literally just regular footage with a filter over it

  • @taramoran7864
    @taramoran7864 3 роки тому +1479

    me at the beginning of the end scene: oh they kept the goblin as a pet like the babadook
    me seeing sarah’s pregnant stomach: THIS IS NOTHING LIKE THE BABADOOK

  • @miajohnson4025
    @miajohnson4025 Рік тому +949

    Kurtis pitching a movie called Goblin where the killer is a shark reminds me of the 100% real movie Possum, which is a movie obviously about… a spider. Actually it’s a really interesting movie though I thought it was a very interesting metaphor for childhood sexual abuse

    • @calowenby1654
      @calowenby1654 Рік тому +28

      I love that movie!

    • @miajohnson4025
      @miajohnson4025 Рік тому +21

      @@calowenby1654 yeah it’s really good! Such a cool use of the uncanny valley!

    • @damienearl8302
      @damienearl8302 Рік тому +142

      A movie called Possum, about a spider, being a metaphor for childhood abuse-
      ...I'm endlessly intrigued!

    • @miajohnson4025
      @miajohnson4025 Рік тому +118

      @@damienearl8302 it’s very interesting! It’s about a man who uses a spider puppet (Possum) to deal with the sexual abuse he faced from his uncle after he has to return to his hometown when he is fired and a young boy goes missing

    • @damienearl8302
      @damienearl8302 Рік тому +15

      @@miajohnson4025 Fascinating, I've gotta give it a watch sometime!

  • @guyfrietee6159
    @guyfrietee6159 3 роки тому +3957

    Poor Danny Jr. man, he never even got his Beijing Beef 😔

    • @bimbi7052
      @bimbi7052 3 роки тому +237

      He’s gotta eat

    • @slushie3061
      @slushie3061 2 роки тому +11

      wtf is a Beijing Beef actually is?

    • @guyfrietee6159
      @guyfrietee6159 2 роки тому +40

      @@slushie3061 it do be food

    • @slushie3061
      @slushie3061 2 роки тому +8

      @@guyfrietee6159 now you :) more headache

    • @tibb75
      @tibb75 2 роки тому +6

      @@erika-rs3ns Has anyone really decided as to even go that far in wanting to do to look more like so?

  • @LydiAtheistLady
    @LydiAtheistLady 3 роки тому +4420

    The little “just a green man” kid actor wasn’t bad for a child. As for the adults…😕

  • @cbj_jackson
    @cbj_jackson 3 роки тому +7659

    words cannot describe how much i loved that “hello ween” joke. it was so ethereal. simply put, i adore this joke. 10/10

    • @ari1758
      @ari1758 3 роки тому +4

      I know I died 😂😂

    • @zack2390
      @zack2390 3 роки тому

      ua-cam.com/video/w84hhVYXDuY/v-deo.html

    • @pizzatime7433
      @pizzatime7433 3 роки тому +1

      Indeed

    • @cozy2348
      @cozy2348 3 роки тому

      My hero is mid

    • @cozy2348
      @cozy2348 3 роки тому

      @@cisrot that avi you have is mid

  • @therealblacktronempire1987
    @therealblacktronempire1987 2 роки тому +315

    18:04 Wouldn't it be crazy if he did the same thing with a bear, and then the goblin ate the dead bear, so Danny now thinks there's a fucking- elephant on the loose and he goes hunting for bigger and bigger animals?

    • @ljsing-n6y
      @ljsing-n6y 11 місяців тому +38

      there’s a whale on the loose!!

    • @Gibberishusernamehere
      @Gibberishusernamehere 10 місяців тому +27

      ​@@ljsing-n6yHe then manages to find and kill it.

    • @jasonfakename4851
      @jasonfakename4851 6 місяців тому +22

      @@Gibberishusernamehere “it was all the way in the ocean but I managed to find and kill it!”
      “Danny we live in the middle of America you were gone for weeks.”
      “Well that’s a weird way of saying thank you.”

    • @jasonfakename4851
      @jasonfakename4851 6 місяців тому +21

      *THE NEXT DAY*
      “HONEY I’M GOING OUT THERE’S A SPACE WORM ON THE LOOSE”
      “DANNY PLEASE YOUR CHILDREN NEED YOU”

    • @idontlikesand1955
      @idontlikesand1955 6 місяців тому +2

      HAHAHAHAHA i laughed so hard at this

  • @kd8663
    @kd8663 3 роки тому +3533

    Kurtis: "This cop."
    Man standing in front of animal control truck that says Animal Control.

    • @evaasclouds
      @evaasclouds 3 роки тому +98

      Fun fact animal control officers are cops for some reason

    • @evaasclouds
      @evaasclouds 3 роки тому +28

      At least where I live

    • @honeysugar906
      @honeysugar906 3 роки тому +88

      They're animal cops

    • @Tw0Dots
      @Tw0Dots 3 роки тому +40

      @@evaasclouds excuse me what
      They HAVE that much power?? That seems like such a bad idea 💀

    • @Kyran1996
      @Kyran1996 3 роки тому +31

      @@Tw0Dots - This statement can be applied to either type of officer here.

  • @nathanscore
    @nathanscore 3 роки тому +2693

    kurtis describing a movie: "it's a movie. it's definitely a movie."

    • @futurehofer1564
      @futurehofer1564 3 роки тому +1

      he said that because there was nothing nice to say about it, it was a joke lol

    • @nathanscore
      @nathanscore 3 роки тому +7

      @@futurehofer1564 i'm autistic and have tried my whole life to make sense of different types of humor, but i think i could've told even without all my research and ways to try to understand sarcasm or the use of irony as a means to cause amusement that this was a joke....
      edit: THIS IS ACTUALLY SO EXCITING!! this is the first time i think i'm "outjoking" someone and SOMEONE DOESNT GET MY JOKE (the original comment) TELLS ME THEY THINK IM NOT GETTING A JOKE ABOUT THE SAME THING MY JOKE WAS ABOUT (kurtis having no clue how to describe this movie)!!!! (i know, this hurts to read; i'm really sorry, i tried but i can't word it in a better way) i'm kind of proud of myself now for real 😭😭😭
      edit 2: now i'm gonna quickly forget about this exchange because i'm getting paranoid YOU were being sarcastic and i didn't catch it. lets pretend all i didnt write all of that and pray that no one but you (the person i'm mentioning) is reading that shit. sorry

    • @nathanscore
      @nathanscore 3 роки тому +2

      @Leaf Elvan ohhhhh that makes me so happy!!! thank you so much 💗

    • @vinnyart92
      @vinnyart92 2 роки тому +1

      it ony a movie

  • @valbarker610
    @valbarker610 2 роки тому +7462

    Just realized the cutscene happens 9 months later. She can't be pregnant with her ex's child because she would have already given birth. Which not only implies she fucked the goblin, it implies she fucked the goblin shortly after the events of the rest of the film, right after it murdered her husband and child, since she's clearly very pregnant

    • @WishGender
      @WishGender 2 роки тому +341

      she could be overdue or it’s an approximation.

    • @someone433
      @someone433 2 роки тому +18

      JD level bs

    • @st4rp0p
      @st4rp0p 2 роки тому +1

      Her ex could've gotten her pregnant right before he died

    • @valbarker610
      @valbarker610 2 роки тому +515

      @@WishGender yea but the implication here is pretty clear

    • @emilyb.8219
      @emilyb.8219 Рік тому +459

      Full term pregnancy is actually 40 weeks, so she could certainly still be pregnant at 9 months. But I do think the implication is still clear.

  • @CerotheDemon
    @CerotheDemon Рік тому +92

    That visceral reaction to seeing the Goblin hand was too real. I think they showed her something traumatizing….like the budget of this movie.

  • @heather_doestruecrime
    @heather_doestruecrime 3 роки тому +13805

    The horrible cgi Goblin in the garage peeking out from behind that counter is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen in my life

    • @ashikjaman1940
      @ashikjaman1940 3 роки тому +468

      Me watching my dad fix the car

    • @joannaalmazan4508
      @joannaalmazan4508 2 роки тому +173

      It's a fucking meme moment right there and I wouldn't blame someone for making that their profile pic in the comments hahaha

    • @tommy8297
      @tommy8297 2 роки тому +15

      😭😭😭😭😭

    • @sevalkathleen6414
      @sevalkathleen6414 2 роки тому +41

      @@joannaalmazan4508 it’s me. i’m someone.

    • @isucklol1992
      @isucklol1992 2 роки тому +16

      "Yay it's the ugly little backyard shit goblin! :D"

  • @itsjustmeofficial
    @itsjustmeofficial 3 роки тому +4176

    I was absolutely floored when she was pregnant with the goblin's child. My jaw literally dropped.

    • @anushka3668
      @anushka3668 3 роки тому +38

      hi swiftie😊

    • @ramowo2701
      @ramowo2701 3 роки тому +15

      Literally same

    • @daylight137
      @daylight137 3 роки тому +18

      swiftie👏

    • @Sarah-by6gp
      @Sarah-by6gp 3 роки тому +168

      I think the more pressing matter is whet she’s keeping the father in the backyard

    • @rinnieai
      @rinnieai 3 роки тому +16

      i couldn't believe what i was looking at like omg

  • @Balloraaaaaa
    @Balloraaaaaa 3 роки тому +5240

    "WHERE IS MY BEIJING BEEF" and "I've gotta eat🙄" got me crying

    • @aelizh
      @aelizh 3 роки тому +255

      WHAT the fuck!

    • @shoebox_coffin
      @shoebox_coffin 3 роки тому +132

      For me it was the
      "whAT thu fUck"

    • @Balloraaaaaa
      @Balloraaaaaa 3 роки тому +18

      @@shoebox_coffin that did top it too😂😂

    • @N0B1tches
      @N0B1tches 3 роки тому +18

      Yes bruh I expected to laugh but HOly shit what an absolute icon

    • @imanidrozd4623
      @imanidrozd4623 3 роки тому +75

      Honestly? He carried this movie

  • @Katrinabobinahogina
    @Katrinabobinahogina Рік тому +160

    the "dear even hanson is a horror movie" joke is honestly so accurate.

  • @b1rdsh0t80
    @b1rdsh0t80 2 роки тому +5395

    I like how the dad’s whole arc in this movie is just going after progressively larger animals every time it ends up not being the animal he just killed 😂

    • @alleymercuryway7777
      @alleymercuryway7777 2 роки тому +318

      *kills cougar* “IT MUST BE A BEAR” *kills bear* “it must be…. AN ORCA” “In a suburban neighborhood?” “SU AND HAND ME MY GUN”

    • @doritodorito492
      @doritodorito492 2 роки тому +103

      Feels more like something from a children's picture book than something from a horror movie.

    • @Bea-xl9rb
      @Bea-xl9rb 2 роки тому +99

      Maybe the real monster in Goblin WAS the great white shark

    • @damienearl8302
      @damienearl8302 Рік тому +42

      @@alleymercuryway7777 *grabs a harpoon* "Welp, I'm off to find myself a blue whale, keep my chair warm!"

    • @Nermalhater1717
      @Nermalhater1717 Рік тому

      Oh shit my balls are exploding

  • @CasualIvory
    @CasualIvory 3 роки тому +878

    After this, I think, "f*cking the goblin" should be film vernacular in the same way as, "jumping the shark". Like, when a movie gets a gratuitous sex scene or romance gets shoehorned in, they f*cked the goblin.

  • @MvpQE
    @MvpQE 3 роки тому +6582

    Why do I feel strangely motivated after his “life is passing by” scene…. He’s right… I won’t do any homework tonight! I’m going to Darrel’s!

  • @ryanwagner3890
    @ryanwagner3890 Рік тому +75

    Okay the idea of a movie called goblin with the creature hiding in the dark being a great white shark is even funnier because of the existence of goblin sharks, a completely separate type of shark that a great white also is not.

    • @AccanWish
      @AccanWish 4 місяці тому

      You could have just said species

  • @AaronandJo
    @AaronandJo 3 роки тому +12431

    Goblin shit is MASSIVE

    • @ZaDe2002
      @ZaDe2002 3 роки тому +255

      Omg my favs interacting

    • @alliexcx5576
      @alliexcx5576 3 роки тому +4

      Dhhd

    • @HorrorDiva01
      @HorrorDiva01 3 роки тому +29

      this and sharkestein are on the same level and u can't tell me otherwise!

    • @rko7948
      @rko7948 3 роки тому +65

      OMFG FAVES INTERACTION

    • @baddie1shoe
      @baddie1shoe 3 роки тому +28

      It’s like baby elephant shit. Seeing as how it basically eats humans whole..I think it should be bigger. Maybe that’s why the Goblin has a beer gut dad bod..he’s constipated

  • @hellisdino
    @hellisdino 3 роки тому +3935

    the “oH gOd” part has the same energy as “tHE kiLLER is ESCAPING heL p ME!”
    edit- holy sh1t y’all thank you so much for the likes I didn’t think it was that funny :)

    • @xxxstellarxxx
      @xxxstellarxxx 3 роки тому +167

      at least Sarah Paulson can put emotion in her voice 💀💀💀

    • @katroamleft4721
      @katroamleft4721 3 роки тому +89

      Or "oh no they are eating her and then they are gonna eat me"

    • @hellisdino
      @hellisdino 3 роки тому +6

      @@xxxstellarxxx facts!

    • @ashikjaman1940
      @ashikjaman1940 3 роки тому +15

      @@katroamleft4721 OH MY GOOOOOOOOD

    • @ewwpeople9914
      @ewwpeople9914 3 роки тому +6

      bro i thought the same thing lol

  • @cosmiceli
    @cosmiceli 3 роки тому +1550

    "the horror movie we're going to be watching is... Dear Evan Hansen" had me on the FLOOR

    • @XemeraldXD
      @XemeraldXD 3 роки тому +47

      The musical is SO GOOD and then the movie is just-
      Why cant we have nice things.

    • @gummidon1618
      @gummidon1618 3 роки тому +4

      @@XemeraldXD yeah honestly

    • @brilliantchaos5397
      @brilliantchaos5397 3 роки тому +10

      I mean, we DID get tap-tap-tapping on the glass

    • @cosmiceli
      @cosmiceli 3 роки тому +4

      @@brilliantchaos5397 my new favorite cinematic parallel

    • @Nitrolord
      @Nitrolord 3 роки тому +6

      @@brilliantchaos5397 Okay like I know I left a hate comment about the movie on another comment about this joke but yeah some of the songs kinda slapped
      I also did appreciate the choreography in Sincerely, Me even though I knew how fucked it was in the back of my head

  • @raulperez9258
    @raulperez9258 12 днів тому +5

    the irony of kurtis editing scene-appropriate music for the sketch about an editor who was too lazy to find the right music for his movie is beautiful

  • @guilhermeshiba3135
    @guilhermeshiba3135 3 роки тому +1227

    Just realized that the ending is nine months after Danny's death to confirm he's not the father

    • @ReidTheRulesGuy
      @ReidTheRulesGuy 3 роки тому +112

      I mean he could still be it they had done it the night before or something

    • @tanaka4473
      @tanaka4473 3 роки тому +193

      @@ReidTheRulesGuy the suspicious shit is why the fuck that woman is smiling to the goblin?? like ??

    • @Vitasaurus
      @Vitasaurus 3 роки тому +110

      @@tanaka4473 cuz it's her baby daddy, DUH

    • @tanaka4473
      @tanaka4473 3 роки тому +103

      @@Vitasaurus imagine having fuck with the goblin. this is truly a horror movie

    • @ssharkbait
      @ssharkbait 3 роки тому +53

      It didn’t say nine months to the day. I’ve seen other movies not involving goblins do the same thing with a husband dying and the wife is pregnant 9 months later. I think they just default to 9 months cause they know the audience knows that usually means someone is pregnant.

  • @sxphinx
    @sxphinx 3 роки тому +5179

    “imagine if the monster was a great white shark” JAWBLIN

    • @hellalalalala
      @hellalalalala 3 роки тому +39

      Underrated comment

    • @hemoglobing
      @hemoglobing 3 роки тому +72

      there is such thing as a goblin shark and they're ugly af

    • @ashikjaman1940
      @ashikjaman1940 3 роки тому +87

      Jawblin Deez nuts

    • @zox.ruuuuu
      @zox.ruuuuu 3 роки тому +14

      @@ashikjaman1940 I was just about to comment that bro

    • @ahrikim4546
      @ahrikim4546 3 роки тому +10

      @@ashikjaman1940 😌 about to comment that as well

  • @KaelWrit
    @KaelWrit 3 роки тому +3407

    the ending was fucking genius tbh. Having the goblin kill the abusive husband and become the new home guardian / forbidden lover...? Genius. Fantastic.

    • @kimkoya3882
      @kimkoya3882 3 роки тому +44

      spoiler dude!

    • @gearandalthefirst7027
      @gearandalthefirst7027 3 роки тому +45

      @@kimkoya3882 it's literally in the fucking video

    • @ScreechIsUncool
      @ScreechIsUncool 3 роки тому +148

      Kinda sounds like a Wattpad story🥱😑🤪

    • @madhatt3r93
      @madhatt3r93 3 роки тому +74

      Guillermo del Toro is giving a standing ovation

    • @ECLECTOb
      @ECLECTOb 2 роки тому +2

      😂😂😂😂

  • @2-stepverification624
    @2-stepverification624 2 роки тому +152

    I love how Dannys reaction to being grabbed by the goblin was moaning, and Kurtis just goes "and second of all Id like what he's having"- this shit has my dying 🤣

  • @maxx2413
    @maxx2413 3 роки тому +2428

    “more like goblin ON DEEZ NUTS” - a fallen legend
    Fly high, king.

    • @chelseesanders400
      @chelseesanders400 3 роки тому +4

      #TeamSea

    • @videoaddicto
      @videoaddicto 3 роки тому

      Thankskilling (2008) is in the same tear.

    • @gracekurtz7251
      @gracekurtz7251 3 роки тому

      Dude SPOILER!!!

    • @maxx2413
      @maxx2413 3 роки тому

      @@gracekurtz7251 WAIT I DIDNT THINK ANYONE WOULD GET THE REFRANCE IM SO SORRY

  • @0rbeez
    @0rbeez 3 роки тому +2928

    The whole “kid drawing weird shit” gave me flashbacks to the counsellors at my summer camp when I was 7 being very concerned about the “violent images” I was drawing. They thought I was like about to stab someone when actually I was just drawing my warrior cat oc lol

    • @momplspickmeupimscared
      @momplspickmeupimscared 3 роки тому +208

      HAHAHAHAHAHA SAME BUT WITH KNIVES AND SWORDS BC I HAD A PERCY JACKSON PHASE

    • @maunbraun2904
      @maunbraun2904 3 роки тому +54

      this is so ffng funny omg

    • @lostinwalmart3224
      @lostinwalmart3224 3 роки тому +85

      I mean warriors OCs got kinda… intense. Like, oc maps did exist. So I’m honestly not surprised. Most of the warriors ocs I’ve seen have been covered in blood

    • @joutatheegg
      @joutatheegg 3 роки тому +70

      Not me elementary school drawing warrior cats mauling each other to death on my math homework

    • @screamindog8772
      @screamindog8772 3 роки тому +73

      I tried to draw a dragon during my wings of fire obsession in elementary school and my mom thought it was a demon. I was proud of that drawing, too.

  • @bubble4689
    @bubble4689 3 роки тому +7181

    [edit] fine i’ll put *SPOILERS* here since you guys care so much about spoilers for a bad low-budget movie
    i like how the goblin literally ate her husband, her step-son, and her neighbor, and she still let it knock her up at the end

    • @Kyran1996
      @Kyran1996 3 роки тому +802

      She wanted it to eat her, too.

    • @bia-zz4sj
      @bia-zz4sj 3 роки тому +598

      girlboss move

    • @itsleximydude4790
      @itsleximydude4790 3 роки тому +235

      Talk about a fuckin spoiler 😤

    • @nothinghappens9811
      @nothinghappens9811 3 роки тому +141

      Death is one of her kinks.

    • @edenoforion
      @edenoforion 3 роки тому +127

      Reading this comment before the video wow very excited for the video

  • @LegendaryDorkKnight
    @LegendaryDorkKnight Рік тому +45

    As soon as the timeskip card said "Nine months later" I was like "No, bro! Ain't no fucking way!" It was exactly as I feared.

  • @pablo_supernova
    @pablo_supernova 3 роки тому +24427

    i was waiting for the coveted “goblin these nuts” joke and you pulled through thankyou kurtis

    • @djangoleisvik8388
      @djangoleisvik8388 3 роки тому +32

      Same

    • @ssnakebbite.
      @ssnakebbite. 3 роки тому +26

      just wait...

    • @uneasycylinder
      @uneasycylinder 3 роки тому +133

      I think I zoned out D: do you know the timestamp please?

    • @siwap3809
      @siwap3809 3 роки тому +327

      Kurtis mighta pulled through, but the goblin didnt pull out thats fosho

    • @celestehndz
      @celestehndz 3 роки тому +62

      @@siwap3809 no way 💀

  • @odellelottering9375
    @odellelottering9375 3 роки тому +1278

    The human-human interaction makes me think of NPC to player interaction in games where you leave and come back and the conversation starts over. Or you just walk past or leave while they're talking to you

    • @d.laveyyy
      @d.laveyyy 3 роки тому +22

      ikr it reminded me of the sims 4 when you leave a conversation and they start talking again

  • @leatrb3099
    @leatrb3099 3 роки тому +5055

    i firmly believe that in an alternate reality this woman tweeted “there’s a goblin in my garden, nauseous feeling like throwing up /srs” and her mutuals are like “get well soon bestie!!”

    • @doe-eyed-goth
      @doe-eyed-goth 3 роки тому +139

      HELP THIS COMMENT IS SO UNDERRATED

    • @euphoria3103
      @euphoria3103 3 роки тому +576

      "vent //
      husband is trying to gaslight me into thinking this goblin isnt real :// idk what to do"

    • @remy994
      @remy994 3 роки тому +379

      the husband tries to ratio her in the replies

    • @HetaClaude
      @HetaClaude 3 роки тому +341

      @@remy994 the goblin replies to him like "goblin THIS ratio" and ratios him instead

    • @remy994
      @remy994 3 роки тому +149

      @@HetaClaude “L + counter ratio” and it works

  • @pour_bot_hem
    @pour_bot_hem Рік тому +65

    i'm crying because the mum grabs her son to stop him from seeing danny eaten alive and then immediately turns around so the son is watching danny die and she isnt

    • @sacredsin7282
      @sacredsin7282 6 місяців тому +1

      I noticed that too lmao 😂

  • @hannamilos
    @hannamilos 3 роки тому +3727

    As a film student, this 100% looks like someone’s overly ambitious & metaphor-heavy first feature. They for sure spent half their budget on the goblin CGI because they DEFINITELY didn’t use it to hire trained actors lol

    • @coralinejones2721
      @coralinejones2721 3 роки тому +254

      And the CGI still looked like shit💀

    • @notanagger4861
      @notanagger4861 3 роки тому +221

      @@coralinejones2721 cgi is expensive as fuck. Never a good idea to have the focus of a low budget project be cgi

    • @coralinejones2721
      @coralinejones2721 3 роки тому +81

      @@notanagger4861 yeah I know. If they made better choices with their small budget it could have been a decent movie, but instead we get.......whatever the hell that thing was💀

    • @ashikjaman1940
      @ashikjaman1940 3 роки тому +89

      @@No-ue5pi God damnit now I'm imaging a guy painted green taking a massive shit on a lawn

    • @GOFFBITZH666
      @GOFFBITZH666 3 роки тому +61

      IKR? This feels like the idea of a semi drunk dude who watched The Babadook and said “Hey, maybe I can try that”!

  • @theeternallie305
    @theeternallie305 2 роки тому +2666

    If Shrek was the goblin then I can understand how she got knocked up.

    • @lankyfishy
      @lankyfishy 2 роки тому +173

      Fun fact, my parents' first date was Shrek in cinemas and that's why I'm alive

    • @justjules24
      @justjules24 2 роки тому +137

      @@lankyfishy your conception song is allstar

    • @lankyfishy
      @lankyfishy 2 роки тому +85

      @@justjules24 I've accepted my fate. One of my friend's deadname is the first movie his parents saw together. Could you imagine if that was me?????

    • @ghostii716
      @ghostii716 2 роки тому +14

      human shrek… god

    • @ghostii716
      @ghostii716 2 роки тому +5

      so true

  • @eric8764
    @eric8764 3 роки тому +3419

    That "I've gotta eat" was so funny. I can't stop replaying it.

  • @saraelizabeth589
    @saraelizabeth589 Рік тому +86

    I will continue to believe that every time Kurtis says "Danny" in this video, he is talking about Danny Gonzalez. And Danny Jr is the nutcracker.

    • @spencerspencieeeeeeee
      @spencerspencieeeeeeee 7 місяців тому +1

      i might be a greg,but when Kurtis says "Danny" i actually think about Danny from Hawaii Five-0

  • @hm-fy5iz
    @hm-fy5iz 3 роки тому +4025

    4:01 referring to a dog barking as "screaming" is the most unintentionally funny thing kurtis has done

    • @jaynenunya6070
      @jaynenunya6070 2 роки тому +153

      I mean, dogs do scream tho...like that extended high pitch yelpy sound you've heard when a dog in a movie is in serious pain

    • @Crystal-od5is
      @Crystal-od5is 2 роки тому +33

      @@jaynenunya6070 still wouldn't consider it a scream tho 😂

    • @fleabaggins
      @fleabaggins 2 роки тому +107

      I just imagine a tiny dog going: *AAAAAAAAAAAGH OH MY GOD NO*

    • @ashikjaman1940
      @ashikjaman1940 Рік тому +24

      ​@@fleabaggins MY LEG

    • @pick2206
      @pick2206 Рік тому +4

      thank you for pointing it out! i laughed sooooo hard

  • @OwlyVoices
    @OwlyVoices 3 роки тому +5414

    i literally started crying when she turned and revealed that she was pregnant holy shit

    • @haketyu7891
      @haketyu7891 3 роки тому +89

      AHHHHH I SCREAMED 😱

    • @Sammyyaam
      @Sammyyaam 3 роки тому +87

      If i wasnt at work when i watched this i wouldve screamed

    • @joseph1858
      @joseph1858 3 роки тому +10

      Was already screaming about the week's profit from my investment and this video made me scream more😄😊.

    • @joseph1858
      @joseph1858 3 роки тому +2

      My life has totally changed since I started with $ 7,000 and now I make $ 29,450 every 14days .

    • @joseph1858
      @joseph1858 3 роки тому +1

      Mr. Franklin has been managing my trade for months and I keep making profit every week.

  • @deconyus3412
    @deconyus3412 3 роки тому +1464

    Goblin’s actually a great conversationalist once you get his walls down, which is by feeding him a whole man. Go get it girl!

  • @destineydavis8999
    @destineydavis8999 5 місяців тому +6

    I wish I could relive the stomach dropping “9 months later” feeling that I experience the first time watching every time I re-watch this

  • @AaronYorkYT
    @AaronYorkYT 3 роки тому +3558

    I love how insane these movies got even with such a low budget

    • @zack2390
      @zack2390 3 роки тому

      ua-cam.com/video/w84hhVYXDuY/v-deo.html

    • @charisma7914
      @charisma7914 3 роки тому +35

      Ayee I’ve seen you on a NickIsNotGreen video before 😳 wassup

    • @AaronYorkYT
      @AaronYorkYT 3 роки тому +26

      @@charisma7914 what’s good! I’ve been waiting for a kurtis video! Been watching him for years now. How about you?

    • @charisma7914
      @charisma7914 3 роки тому +17

      @@AaronYorkYT I only started watching him about 2 years ago haha. My mind has been cluttered because of school, so it’s nice to see a new video from him so I can unwind a bit.

    • @AaronYorkYT
      @AaronYorkYT 3 роки тому +16

      @@charisma7914 that’s awesome! I’m currently in school and making videos and keeping up with the world and working so I completely get that. Hope school goes well and you have a chill 20 ish minutes with this inane movie review lmao

  • @fllnthblnks9681
    @fllnthblnks9681 3 роки тому +1609

    “Unfortunately it’s not Shrek”
    >Nobody liked that.

  • @lexydoerr1535
    @lexydoerr1535 3 роки тому +2335

    I like to think that the “goblin” saw his reflection in the window and was just like strokin his hand down his face in awe of his reflection

    • @ShayLaLaLooHoo
      @ShayLaLaLooHoo 3 роки тому +236

      "Dang, how come I don't got a girl yet?"

    • @Skipsenberg
      @Skipsenberg 2 роки тому +52

      You win the comment section. You just win.

    • @crystaleunoia3974
      @crystaleunoia3974 2 роки тому +77

      The goblin is like "I am narcissus and this window on this terrified woman's house is my lake."

    • @gayvagina7353
      @gayvagina7353 2 роки тому +14

      That goblin got Gonkers
      That goblin got Gommy Gilkers

    • @Hugealligator254
      @Hugealligator254 Рік тому +4

      That good gussy

  • @snowyskys8505
    @snowyskys8505 2 роки тому +67

    After most of her family died sarah just went
    “OMG MOVE IN! YOUR SO COOL”

    • @iheartbunniesteehee
      @iheartbunniesteehee 3 місяці тому

      I wouldn’t think she’d say the Goblin was cool, I think it’d be more like “OH GOD! You’re hot…” and then you have the 9 month timeskip 😕

  • @axolotlking1072
    @axolotlking1072 3 роки тому +631

    When my partner was in kindergarten, apparently their teacher called a meeting with their parents, concerned that they were depressed because they always drew with brown pencil and no other colour. Their mother laughed and told them to explain why they only used brown: because they really liked star wars and brown is the colour of the Ewoks. That was the whole reason.

    • @KrakenG927
      @KrakenG927 3 роки тому +48

      You heard it hear first folks
      Ewoks make you sad :(

    • @arima_song
      @arima_song 3 роки тому +37

      I've had a similar story, but my paranoid teacher was concerned with why I only use black pencil. Well, I was just shit at coloring, that's the whole reason, lol
      And I'm still shit at it, even though I can draw pretty good rn. I just stick to my black pencils :з

    • @Elizabean1984
      @Elizabean1984 3 роки тому +10

      My second grade teacher was concerned on why I drew people being gutted and Monsters eating people.
      Never brought it up to my parents though, only other teachers and me.

    • @christinafarria4256
      @christinafarria4256 3 роки тому +1

      Fucking legend

    • @никто-с5н
      @никто-с5н 3 роки тому +9

      had something similar, i only drew with the black pencil, even though i had colored pencils and my paternal grandma freaked the fuck out and told my mother i was gonna grow up a psychopath...... like tf lmao

  • @ygdoy
    @ygdoy 3 роки тому +1275

    i searched it on IMDb and found a comment that goes "10/10 I think this film is an instant classic, thanks to Joe Cummings (the guy who plays Danny). A good solid film with a wonderful performance by the Joe Cummings!" which i can only guess was written by Joe Cummings

    • @ephemeral999
      @ephemeral999 3 роки тому +106

      that name is also *really* fucking unfortunate if joe cummings is like. an actual person and actor in the film
      just. joe cummings...

    • @ygdoy
      @ygdoy 3 роки тому +73

      @@ephemeral999 i know he was absolutely roasted everytime they called attendance in highschool

    • @Spooky_l3xxi
      @Spooky_l3xxi 3 роки тому +75

      No wonder he moaned like that…

    • @click.beetle
      @click.beetle 3 роки тому +60

      Imagine being called Mr. Cummings 💀

    • @frostyskeletons8950
      @frostyskeletons8950 3 роки тому +20

      @@ygdoy I could totally see that being a stage name. Perhaps he started out in more adult movies lol

  • @madison4598
    @madison4598 3 роки тому +451

    I thought her keeping the goblin as a damn pet was the twist and was already appalled...when she turned around, my jaw hit the floor

  • @cameravice1825
    @cameravice1825 Рік тому +71

    I like how the summary says she has to save her son from the abusive stepfather. And yet all the dad does throughout the film is just ignore her and hunt things

    • @cass6082
      @cass6082 Рік тому +14

      Genuinely, I was waiting the whole time for him to be really bad or do something ‘death worthy’ but he only seemed mildly neglectful and less of an ass than a fair number of protagonists
      Edit: oh never mind, I guess Kurtis left that out

    • @coffeeluvr9864
      @coffeeluvr9864 Рік тому +28

      at the end of the video after the ad-read kurtis says that he left out scenes of the father being abusive because he didn't want the video to be too heavy and he just wanted to goof around, but if you watch the movie there is scenes of him being abusive

  • @somecanadiangirl1
    @somecanadiangirl1 3 роки тому +688

    I can't buy the "getting concerned about a childs drawing" trope because in elementary school I just casually made a mask for an arts project of the puppet from Saw and no one said SHIT

    • @buddyart-
      @buddyart- 3 роки тому +44

      I used to draw a bunch of knives on my folders and stuff, but none of my teachers said anything about it
      I wasn't in elementary, but I think I was about 8 at the time

    • @especiallyspecialtm9093
      @especiallyspecialtm9093 3 роки тому +31

      My parents (back when they were all super religious) used to ignore all the things I drew until I got into drawing monsters, which I got in trouble for because my mother deemed them “too demonic” :(

    • @honeybee2525
      @honeybee2525 3 роки тому +23

      Ahah I also made a demon mask in elementary during the plaster unit, every kid was making cute animals and little me was over there making a whole ass demon.

    • @tunafish5462
      @tunafish5462 3 роки тому +21

      Bro I used to draw the creepiest looking girls (I used to draw only girls for some reason) ever as a kid. Their face was always messed up and their body bends weird. The Goblin that the kid drew literally looks like shrek.

    • @bb-mf6qh
      @bb-mf6qh 3 роки тому +18

      My brother randomly told me I drew eyes all the time as a child because I was paranoid about being watched. I just liked a series of unfortunate events it's not that deep 🤷‍♀️

  • @jamiejam4588
    @jamiejam4588 3 роки тому +450

    I think it’s so funny how the lady sees a small figure run past the door/window and screams and falls over, but her response to an objectively scarier weird ghoulish hand is just a very guttural “oh god”

    • @luc1d_n1ghtmarez
      @luc1d_n1ghtmarez 3 роки тому +23

      @Jac I mean she did have a baby with it

    • @m-ostrich768
      @m-ostrich768 3 роки тому +29

      the first was fear. the second was arousal

  • @rolanslide8509
    @rolanslide8509 2 роки тому +1746

    "nine months later"
    me: that's an oddly specific number. she's pregnant isn't she
    "she's pregnant"
    me: ah

  • @realbrickbread
    @realbrickbread Рік тому +36

    20:55 that infrared view is wild

    • @lozercakez
      @lozercakez 8 місяців тому +1

      It’s not even infrared 😭😭

    • @realbrickbread
      @realbrickbread 8 місяців тому +1

      ​@@lozercakezIk I was being ironic 💀the background is hotter than the person lmao

  • @honeybat8803
    @honeybat8803 3 роки тому +1111

    Kurtis going back & forth between roasting the kid, and talking about how he’s “better now”, is literally so funny

    • @sekoseko893
      @sekoseko893 3 роки тому

      ua-cam.com/video/FSSFgWlDbJU/v-deo.html…….

    • @EmissaryofWind
      @EmissaryofWind 3 роки тому +11

      Good news, the actor is 19 so old enough to roast

  • @thebatpig8424
    @thebatpig8424 3 роки тому +1773

    I do agree that the trope of kids being like “Oh that guy? He isn’t a serial killer. He gave me this knife. It’s chill.” Doesn’t make any sense, but if done right can be pretty scary. Not in this movie though.

    • @SuperSisby
      @SuperSisby 3 роки тому +57

      As a kid/pre-teen, I used to overcome my fears by pretending the creepypasta characters I was so terrified of were my friends and very nice to me.
      I could only imagine what kind of kid I would be in an actual horror moving, pushing past my fear to befriend the monster that's actually real. I'd probably be dead.

    • @noelthenightowl7589
      @noelthenightowl7589 3 роки тому +4

      Not a kid, but reminds me of Will Graham lol

    • @Lazysupermutant
      @Lazysupermutant 2 роки тому +4

      Yeah I call bullshit, I'm a teacher of young kids, and I had a six year old that was afraid of *chicks*, the baby chickens not women, or at least I don't think she was afraid of women. Yeah kids are super scared of new things, deadass no way Annabell is making friends with anyone under 12.

  • @carleigh.charlton
    @carleigh.charlton 2 роки тому +1358

    the “do you have time to talk” interaction is even funnier considering she just told this woman “some guy named danny” picked up her child and then watched her unable to contact the man who supposedly picked her child up from school early. And she’s just like heyyyy girlie, got a min

  • @harmc2301
    @harmc2301 2 роки тому +26

    Dude I avoid movies with animals (especially cats and dogs) because I always fear of them being hurt any way, so the goblin petting the dog REALLY made me have a small anxiety attack😅

  • @kidnamedfinger_25
    @kidnamedfinger_25 2 роки тому +2399

    When the goblin said "It's Goblin Time" I shook in my seat with shivers down my spine, such an incredible movie.

    • @Random-sk6hm
      @Random-sk6hm Рік тому +77

      Same, hearing the goblin say ''It's Goblin Time'' then gobbling all over Danny was my favourite part

    • @RulerOfArniskad
      @RulerOfArniskad Рік тому +35

      ​@@Random-sk6hmHe was gobling danny up

    • @gacha-gay
      @gacha-gay Рік тому +4

      Wait, can I have a time stamp for that? I didn't catch it

    • @gacha-gay
      @gacha-gay Рік тому +1

      @@aghost7721 ohhhh

    • @aggressivetrash6084
      @aggressivetrash6084 Рік тому +10

      I was literally pissing and shitting myself when that happened

  • @jennamariaphotography7061
    @jennamariaphotography7061 3 роки тому +1242

    “When it comes to phone cases you either have to choose between looks or protection” Sarah had the same dilemma with men (and she chose protection with goblin)

    • @nina-rz2fj
      @nina-rz2fj 3 роки тому +42

      STOP IT HAHSJJDBSBDBAHFAHHD

    • @iamsocks
      @iamsocks 3 роки тому +228

      sorry but she didn't use protection with that goblin..

    • @pleuriglosse8198
      @pleuriglosse8198 3 роки тому +50

      @@iamsocks this comment thread is so underrated im dying

    • @iamspeed3209
      @iamspeed3209 3 роки тому +38

      if she chose protection then why tf is she pregnant

    • @adeer87
      @adeer87 3 роки тому +55

      She chose looks too, you’re just jealous you don’t have a sexy goblin in your life.

  • @monikorasort
    @monikorasort 2 роки тому +3555

    The whole trope of teachers accusing parents of being abusive because of a drawing is so funny to me. In kindergarten, I drew a boy with no eyes screaming while a stork flew away with an eyeball in its beak. Not because my parents were beating me, but because my dad told me a bedtime story about kids getting their eyes plucked out by birds and thought it was absolutely hilarious.

    • @jonnnnniej
      @jonnnnniej Рік тому +110

      Your dad told you what?! :')

    • @monikorasort
      @monikorasort Рік тому +297

      @@jonnnnniej it was written by Hans Christian Andersen

    • @sabrinay4739
      @sabrinay4739 Рік тому +91

      @@monikorasort oh it makes sense

    • @commandrogyne
      @commandrogyne Рік тому +90

      @@jonnnnniej i can think of like 3 fairytales where smthn like that happens lol

    • @ashikjaman1940
      @ashikjaman1940 Рік тому +18

      ​@@monikorasort was it as gay as the Little Mermaid?

  • @whatarehandles519
    @whatarehandles519 19 днів тому +2

    I originally didn’t believe a movie could be that bad, when I tell you I got 9 MINUTES AND 40 SECONDS into the movie before giving up.The acting makes me want to cry, and no flash warning?? 😭😭

  • @brunamota8865
    @brunamota8865 3 роки тому +1660

    Sarah getting knocked up by the Goblin is such a girlboss move.

    • @meforpresident7271
      @meforpresident7271 3 роки тому +77

      I havent watched the video yet but SHE FOCKING WHAT-

    • @sarahramdatt3651
      @sarahramdatt3651 3 роки тому +23

      thanks bro

    • @meforpresident7271
      @meforpresident7271 3 роки тому +13

      @@sarahramdatt3651 LMAO NO PLEASE NO AKAKAKAMAKQKEMEKDJN3JSJSNSNS

    • @Julia-tk2em
      @Julia-tk2em 3 роки тому +29

      She truly did girl boss a little too close to the sun.

    • @JoshuaDuncan-o1u
      @JoshuaDuncan-o1u Рік тому +8

      ​@@Julia-tk2em icarus is my favorite girlboss 😍😍😍😍

  • @literallythrowing3264
    @literallythrowing3264 3 роки тому +1266

    "It would be funny if the monster in question wasn't a goblin, it was a shark"
    Goblin shark: :'(

  • @Sitcomabed
    @Sitcomabed 3 роки тому +2951

    Nothing makes me happier than seeing kurtis at the end of a long week