87% Christians Stay Trapped with Covert Narcissist Because They Miss This
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- Опубліковано 6 вер 2024
- Too many Christians waste years of their life confused by the covert narcissists behaviors. That’s why in this LIVEstream, I want to help you step out of confusion and into clarity. Join me as we dive into the 8 signs that expose a covert narcissist in your life, why you've missed it in the past…..
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Thank you, Kris! We value your insight and resources that help many people like myself to be able to move forward in a way that cultivates healthier ways of facing our challenges in our lives. This is changing people from the inside out! Yahweh bless you for the gifts He has purposed you with! ❤😌
Amen.
EVERYTHING YOU SAID IN THIS BROADCAST IS TRUUUUUEEEEEEEEEE. THANK YOU SO SO SO SO MUCH
Luke 1:37
So helpful! Love and ready to apply your teachings in practical ways! God bless you and thanks for all you do!
I was married to an abuser who fit the profile of a narc. I begged God regularly for relief for 14 years. I kept begging God to show me if he was cheating so I would have Biblical grounds for divorce. It was such a relief when he left me for another woman.
why did u not leave HIM? no need to b a doormat.
@@Lauren-vd4qepeople struggle with leaving
i dont understand why pple would WANT to STAY with a person who abuses them ie acts like they hate them. its ridiculous. 2 Tim 3:5 tells us to AVOID people who act badly towards us. @@J.F611
So sad that the church doesn't understand God's love does not expect you to stay in abusive relationship
Churches push you to stay… or tell you that you have no grounds to divorce.
Sometimes pastors will bully you to stay… especially if the narc spouse has everyone convinced you are the bad person…
Chris, after 30 years I finally learned about narcissism. I am in a terrible situation. Please prayer for me.
@@genevieveyhap-zebro952 praying for you 🙏🏽❤️
@@genevieveyhap-zebro952 my prayers 🙏🙏🙏
@@genevieveyhap-zebro952 praying!!!!
You don’t have to stay if your that miserable
@gebevieveyhap-zebro952 you've been lied to & tricked by the enemy. You are stronger than you know & God is with you & will be with you the whole way. Pray & ask for strength & discernment. Sending prayers & hugs.
19 years of marriage and it was year 18.5 that i finally learned the word " narcissist". I tried for years to figure out the right combination of things to do and say that would make him finally happy with me, but i didn't realize that he pulled everything in and would give nothing back like a black hole in outer space. I finally escaped and God gives me the strength to stay no contact and He has provided for me. I will never go back
God bless you for finding out allot of us are still blind
I want to be able to say what you just said
I'm leaving tomorrow.I'm getting in the truck.That's ours and driving off.After 18 years of marriage, 20 years of with being with tleonard.I'm doing it.I have to whisper this so he doesn't hear it
THANK YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just left my 7 year of marriage from living with a narcissist man. I have left him before we got married but I thought he had changed since he was claiming to be a minister now. He didn’t curse but used the word of God to justify his behavior. For example When did not agree then I was not following his lead as the head. I did not respect his leadership. I would cry out to God daily to help me to be a better wife. I was being tormented everyday. I felt like I was having a nervous breakdown. I just walked out my marriage. I could not live another second with him. I will not speak or text. It is all a ploy. No contact and stay in prayer.
I wanna remind everyone in chat...yes you can have some of these traits or have done something like that. But how did you feel about it? Do you want to change? Then, no you're not a narcissist. If you care how your behavior affects others then you've probably just been wounded and you're healing. God bless you and everyone here. He loves all of us, even them!
Hi. Thanks for your comment. It gives me some hope. I was wondering if you could help. I haven't officially been diagnosed with narcissism, but I have a lot of traits and I just don't know what to do. One of the traits is that I lack real remorse. Do I want to change? Yes. I just don't know how I could. I've been hiding my traits really well, 'cause I know they are sinful behaviour and I don't want people to find out how awful and selfish I really am. I've often prayed to God to change me. But it's like I've only learned more how to mask and avoid things. Real change hasn't occurred. And I've wondered if it's even possible to change, because what would be left of me if all the narcissistic traits would be taken away? I'm afraid there is nothing else. I feel like I'm empty.
@@sherlockhomeless7138 My personal belief is that we are who we choose to be. I don't know your story; considering so, it's very trusting of you to ask a stranger online for help. I noticed your name is "homeless"...are you currently living outside, or is that how you feel on the inside...or both? Words carry so much power with them, so when you say "I am", then so you become.
My best guess, without knowing anymore is that perhaps there's a memory block,or something making you think you can't feel remorse. Did you try asking Holy Spirit for help revealing memories of people you need to forgive, and negative experiences to let go? The magnet of our first 1-5 years is so strong! To break that cycle is an immense feat. Only a hero can do that! I'm sure you're up to it. I'm praying for your personal revival! God bless you.
@@sherlockhomeless7138 if you can feel for other people when they are in despair like you really hurt emotionally for them to the point you really can’t sleep because you care about what they are going through ya know Empathy like knowing someone whether close or not to you might suffer through a really cold night and you’d be willing to sacrifice to give them a break or wish you could help then you might be just suffering from reactive abuse and numb because of reactive abuse and not realize it… Narcs pretend to care about other people they really aren’t capable of true selflessness but don’t be a sucker to manipulative or gaslighting people Remember narcissistic tendencies and behavior are on a spectrum ❤ Hope this helps a lot of people that are true empathy will second guess themselves Dr. Ramani is the Best she has videos on everything just search it up😊
@@sherlockhomeless7138 just realized you put that you were officially diagnosed…I believe self aware narcissist can change just take a lot of time to get there and Hopefully sooner…. God Bless you 🙏🫶
right, I agree,
After 55 years of marriage, I have finally learned about Narcissism.
I'm divorcing my husband who fits the description of Covert and Malignant to a tee. I'm grieving the lost years I have spent trying to appease this man's control over me. Everything you have described fits my sorry life. I'm now 80 years old. He has discarded me for another woman. I finally GET IT! The Lord has helped me in so many ways!
I will trust him to the end of my life!!
Thank you for your insightful videos. I listen to the videos concerning Narcissists many times a day to shore me up to face getting through each and every day.
It can take awhile to recognize a covert narcissist but it usually is revealed when there is a conflict and you will see that they never acknowledge your perspective. Everything is for them all the time.
Oh my gosh this is exactly what happened to me. It wasn’t until our first conflict that things blew up. It has been living hell since then. We just broke up for good and I am trying to recover my identity which got so berated by him.
Praise God you weren’t married to him. That’s a blessing! Now do the hard work so you don’t end up that way again. 🙏
The worst thing about narcissists is that when you call out a narcissist, they end up accusing, arranging your arrest, and putting YOU on trial for THEIR crimes. They create your jury before you know they want to arrest you. They are vicious, and I wish no one would call them insecure, fearful, or damaged simply because that erases their accountability.
My narc husband has gone to meet his maker. He taught the children well - they continue to despise me.... They even quote the Bible at me - one of them is praying God will smash my teeth....
I understand but they are very insecure people and that's why they need a supply so everything they blame you for it's what they feel about themselves but I get you becos it's as if we are making excuses for them.
Amen
@@tvdb5299 Please pray for them and dont engage when they are rude. Just be quiet and if you can speak in truth with the discernment of the Holy Spirit and I'm having to do this with my children. It's so hurtful
@@nickymunnik5729 thank you for your encouragement.. I just keep remembering that 'our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed'.
Very informative. They can’t handle any type of criticism but certainly love to dish it out.
AMEN!!!!🙏
No they certainly can’t … you are 100% right!!!
Exactly! 👍🏾
My covert narcissist husband was always accusing me of being a "manipulative game player". I was always being as direct with him as possible about the problems that I was facing in our relationship, and he always accused me of being manipulative. One day I asked him how he could "tell" when I was being a manipulative game player. He said when I am so sad that it almost makes him want to cry. But then he realizes that I am "just manipulating him" and he stops it. In other words, any time empathy creeps into his heart, he crushed it. I didn't realize that the very thing they are accusing you of doing is what THEY are doing. HE was the manipulative game-player.
People always see in other what they are
That’s exactly it. My ex of 15 years never had anything to say about me until I would tell him what he was doing. Then he would flip it and tell me that’s what I was doing. He NEVER had new material 🙄
In their world people are deceitful because they are so and they see through those lenses. Forgive since they are deeply wounded and doing that keeps them safe and afloat, but don't forget how made you feel and get away from them.
Oh yeah- projection is huge with them
I found that in most cases a finger pointed at you should be pointed right back at them
Thank you. I divorced my narcissistic abusive husband after close to 8vyears of marriage. I found out after that he physically, emotionally and psychologically abused his deceased wife.
The church needs to be educated as to how to support victims. We are taught to stick it out and submit. He distorted scriptures pertaining to submission. He was a controller and took advantage of me financially.
I got out and I am thankful.
I am glad I understand the scriptures and departed from evil. The Lord delivered me and I had to cooperate with the Lord's plan for my deliverance.
Thank you for sharing!! It's really a serious condition that these people have, it's how they are wired!!
God bless Chris Reese. The Lord is using her to educate the church. Pray for Chris as the power of darkness are not pleases at how she exposes the work of the enemy. God bless you Chris.
Went through the same thing.
Submission means to submit to his mission… he is the bread winner, provider… that’s what we are supposed to submit to. Like men in the military… when they get moved around, the wives pack up and go and do things to support him in that way. But, they tend to think of it as though you are a slave and an outlet for their frustrations and issues.
If I'm having a good day, a happy day, or even just smile, his mood changes to negative instantly.
They definitely hate to see you happy & sometimes you’ll find yourself hiding your smile & happiness in an effort to not initiate their attacks ‼️
Yes!!! Same with my husband. I know after 15 years how he chiseled away the joy in my soul… or at least the ability or desire to express it.
Best definition I’ve heard of a covert narcissist, “wolf in sheep’s clothing”.
No. Evil is best word that fits with any type of narcissist
Yes a wolf in sheep's clothing!!!
Real evil demonic individuals!
As a Christian, I appreciate the fact that you reinforce your knowledge with quoted scripture, not just claiming, “the Bible says…”! We are suppose to teach chapter by chapter and verse by verse! Thank you for the advice and biblical support on this topic.
That's is correct!!!!
I do too!
Thank you, Kris. You're one of the few Christians who have a deep understanding of covert narcissism. I’m a survivor of narcissistic abuse. It appears to me as if the church for the most part is uneducated about narcissism even though it appears to thrive in the church
Excellent comment!!!
There are many ppl in church that wins both economical and emotionally to not being held accountable.
90 % of pastors are narcissist
@@marialindahl1855exact zero accountability is taught in church
Complete lack of accountability drives me crazy. I think I'm still in denial about how much the abuse affected me.
That’s because the regular, moral person does not fathom the 24/7 Game that the Narcissist plays! That precise Issue…Still causes me to be in Shock & Speechless over the Narc.’s Shenanigans.
Once you understand the Depth of Malignancy, you Can’t NOT SEE the TACTICS EVER AGAIN. I suppose a Good Analogy would be: If you had a ProQuarterback that you had followed from Day One, you’d almost be able to predict his Moves before they unfolded… And that’s what starts happening with a Narcissist, once you Understand that what they do is Truly, a Personality Protocol that: Lacks Empathy, or, normal human Connection & Love… To include in part: Respect, Dignity, Civility, Loyalty, Reciprocity, & True Sharing in Tasks, Compromise, & Shared Honesty. instead, the Narc. is Transactional = What can they get fm. you & do they need to Fake any Generous Action to Manipulate you?;
The Narc. Believes they are Entitled to Dictate & Control, Trick & Lie, cheat & Steal to Manipulate in order to control for their Purposes; to Deny the Truth & Even Call You Crazy when you Repeat their Exact Words, said the prior Moment. They believe Your Efforts to Create: Any & All Achievements, they have a RIGHT to… Especially, if you are Gullible enough to allow them to Steal Whatever! They Need to Teach you that Lesson … just Because…
The Lack of a Moral Compass isn’t an Appropriate Description… It’s worse than That… Their Compass is Hallow & Guides Exactly OPPOSITE of all Truth! They’re like a kid playing Monopoly & They are the “CHEATING BANKER”… Truly Joyous When they WIN! Even though it was by Hook & Crook! They Believe Life is Supposed to be for THEIR PICKING!
There are 8 TYPES of Narcs. & they can be MaX Malignant… Or~ To the Lighter Side of the Spectrum! But, these people are REALLY into a Personality Style, Permanent Brain Groove protocol!
🙏🏻Hope this helps!☀️🕊🍃
This is my mom. Everything on this list is her. I went no contact this summer. I keep seeing the mutual people in our lives that keep buying her sob story. It’s sad but I keep my mouth shut and wait on the Holy Spirit to expose because it’s not my place to bash her and bad mouth her to people. That will do me no good in my healing and it’ll just give her fuel.
Amen to keeping to yourself and waiting on the Lord. Every single thing in His perfect time.
@@importdoc7yup
O na mate kawaca
Brilliant! This is my mother too. Going no contact was really difficult for me, but the freedom and peace is extraordinary.
Well done I am in the same predicament. We can only keep ourselves safe ❤
I just figured out a friend is a covert narcissist. I think she got mad because I told her no when she asked me for personal information. Thereafter, I tried to share good news with her and she said she wished that I would shut up about it.
I told myself, your wish is my command. That was the day I went no contact.
😂🥇✊
Exactly what I did to my ex narc friend who was constantly after me to get "the news" so that she could use it for her favourite hobby - gossiping! 😅
I can steer clear of the most narcissists, but the ones who are masters at staying under the radar, I am easy prey. Thank you for this lesson.
Abusers and narcissists and sociopaths prey on people who are not worldly.
That's right, masters at staying under the radar...worst kind. God bless.
God revealed to me years ago that in reverence to abuse in my marriage or any marriage, the behavior of the abusing spouse is considered being unfaithful. In my case, my husband was found to be unfaithful because of the abuse he put me through. A spouse doesn't always have to commit adultery to be found unfaithful. The key word in the relationship is faithfulness towards the others' well-being. Abuse is not being faithful to the other spouse's well-being. That is solid grounds for divorce especially when the abusing spouse chooses not to "repent" of their actions or chooses not to "walk in love."
Well said!! Unfaithful! Yes!! Absolutely correct!!
Thank you for bringing this explanation to light. My 2 friends who are pastor's wives insist that I should stay because he is not physically beating me or physically cheating. But, so much damage can occur before those things ever come about. And they have doting husbands....so it is no difference to them if I sit here and take it. They have their good life and have noooo idea what it is like!
Especially for women I would say 'run!' Why torture yourselves for years? Men are not perfect by any means, but when the pattern of narcissism is established, you're in deep trouble.
I was 37 years victim of a covert narcissist. I am still in divorce proceedings after almost 5 years in Court. Thank you for your videos. As a Christian you answered my many questions that I had. God bless you.
You are describing my wife. Yes, I've suspected she's been a narcissist fro the last 20 years of 25 years of marriage. But I decided to sacrifice my ambitions for the sake of my children, one of whom was born disabled. I took up that cross reluctantly, but realise that my eldest disabled son was a gift, not a burden. And I'm prepared to ascribe her behaviour to the trauma of having a disabled baby.
I should add that that baby is now 25, and has a great life, and is a joy to everyone he meets.
God bless you.
WTFFFFFF. YOU'RE BLIND. Trauma of having a disabled baby???? You're h_rrible for blaming the kid.
Same here brother. 28yrs and she decided to pretend she's 30 again and single shopping for a new replacement. I made a commitment to God and her that I honored unconditionally.
We're there signs before marriage that you ignored?
@@bajanboy2553
She love bombed me and seemed great. Even my Mom thought she was the one. Everything started changing well after we were married. I didn't know then what I know now about Covert Narcissists.
I was dating a man who was very slow at pulling out his wallet after a meal that he ordered and he ate.. As he opened up the dollar pouch, he would pause and glance up at others at the table. Someone always got uncomfortable and offered to get his bill. We didn't continue dating. I like your comment about people who always wait for others to wait on them.
My Mother. She died in 2021 and I’d gone no contact. I don’t miss her and it was a relief. I didn’t used to see
My father was a narcissist too. We called him Saint Bob. Thank God for my grandmother. She was my role model. I left town young and stayed gone. My four siblings are so different from me and sucked up. When my dad died last year I was left out of the sizable estate. I’d been threatened over and over to play ball or I’d be “out”. My husband observed their threats and behavior and finally told them to lose our number. Best thing he has ever done! He truly loves me and it’s a healthy relationship. We’ve been married 21 years. No surprise tho I had early disastrous marriage because he behaved just like they did. I was never enough. Getting free is a necessity.
If a man so slow to pull his wallet 🤣. I’ll never seen again😂 you don’t want your kids to have a father like that scarcity mindset 🤣
Being cheap is a narcissist 😂
They know how to play the guilt card, for sure, as part of their manipulation. They will lie to you about a situation & when you sense it & say “No” to the bait, they try to make you feel like a bad person who doesn’t care.
Now I understand why covert narcissists was toxic and so damaging to my self esteem it makes so sense that she was a total wolf in sheep’s clothing
I had a close friend convince me her husband was a narc… but as we got closer she kept telling how beautiful she was and everyone is jealous and wants to be her. She started accusing me of wanting to be her.. and honestly and sincerely I never had that weakness.. she kept telling with every conversation how skinny and beautiful she is .. I realized then she is a narc! She was projecting it on her husband! It was like a horror movie! I was with the narc the whole time!! It was kind of scary!!
My ex would toggle between being mean , lazy , stuck in his trauma to being nice and helpful and presenting his self as a hard worker but somehow always the victim…now I realize he was a master manipulator and cheater that purposely wouldnt keep a job and kept me mentally, emotionally and financially drained.
This is exactly where I am now and looks like no way out
@@tomazavalkova4032 there is always a way out! Don’t give up hope! I had to outsmart my ex to get away and we were stuck in a lease together that he refused to sign
Is it possible they have CPTSD? The traits are similar but when they have peace in their lives then a kind human emerges. NPD’s are NOD’s through and through. It’s like CPTSD that got switched on permanently
NPD’s*
You CAN get out of it, I did, it was very hard and stressful and first 2 yrs I thought I couldn't get along w/o him, but kept reminding myself of the deception I was living in. Now 4yrs on and I'm so much happier, enjoying friends, loving myself, lost weight and depression. 20 years with him, but no more praise God.
Thank you! I’ve been married to a man just like your teaching about for 57 years! It’s horrible and he never changes! It’s pathetic. He says he’s a Christian but I know he isn’t! Crazy! I love your program! ❤
How did u stay married for 57 years if it was horrible?
@1corinthians139 some people feel trapped. These narcissists are selfish and make you feel horrible if you want to get away from them... my best friend has been stuck for approximately 46 years.
I agree. It's very sad that they will put their own happiness and soul above their spouse's.
Christians are narcissistic
I was trapped in a marriage. Leaving was the hardest thing I have done. How was I going to support my self and three kids? Where do I live? Not to mention a lot of people in my church did not believe in divorce, no support. Should I add that it is always the woman fault.
35 years I suffered with a covert, controling narcissist. His coddling mother was with him every step of the way.He controlled all money and in the end divorced me and alienated my kids from me.I completely lost my daughter but have to fight(by trying to educate) my other 2 boys , but the programming runs deep.I do not think he will ever , ever stop trying to wipe me off their minds and the earth.
I unwittingly married a classic covert narcissist before I had any clue about narcissism. I met him at church and his doting, fawning coddling mother introduced us! It was a miserable and confusing 13 marriage which happened rather quickly after only a 9 month courtship. It produced two beautiful children which was the only real blessings for me during that very painful 13 year marriage. I left him with two very young children (3 and years old) in tow and no money, job or home to escape his abuse. It was the hardest thing I have every had to do to protect myself and children but it was the right thing to do for me. Sadly in true classic narcissist form he spent the next 13 years in divorce continuing to try to manipulate me in divorce proceedings tying me up in court with vexatious motions he filed for years draining me emotionally and financially preventing me from moving on with my life. Sadly his obsessive revenge for me leaving him and taking our children spilled out our innocent and undeserving children to. He has slowly and systematically and with great calculation succeeded in totally alienating my now adult daughter (I haven't seen or spoke to her in over a year now which has gutted me, and he tried very very hard to alienate our son. Sadly my son couldn't mentally handle all his toxic programming efforts to learn to despise me as his mother which is a very evil thing to do to a child, and the manipulation by his father broke in his mind. My son is now suffering from severe addictions and mental illness unable to work or support himself. God has powerfully and miraculously saved his life several times from overdoses. The collateral damage this man has caused to me and especially our two children is unfathomable. God is protecting me with deep faith, courage, wisdom and real and present protection for me and my children as we continue to endure the effects of this covert narcissist who continues to try to manipulate me and our two children to their detriment. I am sorry for the length of my response here to your post, but I felt compelled to share after I read your post. Your ex did you a favour to initiate the divorce but he will never stop trying to hurt you or your 3 children. You MUST get support to endure this with wise, mature in the faith friends, family, professional help. I have been in therapy for years to heal from all the abuse which helps a lot. Most people who have not experienced this type of abuse have no clue what it is about. Kris totally gets this and I thank God for the UA-cam algorithm for finding her channel for me. I also continue to pray daily for God to deliver and heal my son completely, and to open the eyes of my daughter to his manipulations and that our relationship will be restored. I also pray God will heal my heart, mind, body and soul so that I can be fully present for another spouse/partner in life, who is truly in the Lord and who has my best interests at heart if this is God's will. I pray for you Denise for great wisdom, discernment, peace, joy and healing for yourself and your children and that God will continue to protect and provide for all of you. Never give up praying for your children, especially your daughter for her eyes to be opened to the truth and you both fully reconcile. In Jesus' name I pray. Natalie
I am sorry you have to endure this; fighting it only worsens and deepens the pain because it gives you a false sense of control or hope that you can change things; there’s nothing you can actively do. But passively reflect Christ through consistently being gracious, non-reactive, calm, peaceful, stable (the opposite of your spouse at his core, his facade can only last so long before breaking). You may lose all the battles but you will win the war. Let them go, because ultimately God has them- in His hands, more than you or your spouse. I am in the same boat and my child is only one but my husband has shown the signs, traits and behavior since I was pregnant. Triangulating me with my cat and our infant, talking badly about me to our child- all you can do is pray and let it all go. Everything takes time- the long game, is long suffering. Unfortunately. Praying for you.
With men there always seems to be a mommy (narc) involved.
Same scenario with me and my now adult kids…but God is exposing this horror show aided and abetted by corrupt family court
My son who is eleven is having every day challenged dealing with his Dad who is a master at his game. As a child he is having a very hard time with his confidence because of all the gaslighting and manipulation.
Everything has to focus around his Dad. He is his Dad’s “golden child” and his Dad’s daily narcissistic supply.
When he comes home my son cries with all the emotional releases he can have (he is not allowed to cry at his Dad’s house). He’s in my prayers all the time.
I praise God I don’t have to live with that man anymore but my child has no choice.
Thank you Kris for all these Biblical points of direction. They encourage and help so much!!
I briefly dated (6 weeks) a covert narcissist. He quickly showed he was fine with me paying for dinner dates and was hypersensitive when I would say things, he’d give me a 24 hour time out, he completely went silent and wouldn’t answer calls or text trying to explain myself. I found myself walking on eggshells trying to watch my words so he wouldn’t misunderstand what I said. I also found myself apologizing over and over. I recognized I was in a relationship that wasn’t healthy so I broke up with him. He begged me not to but I couldn’t deal with his ways. It’s been 5 years and he’s still trying for us to get back together, even though he has a girlfriend. I refuse. I think he wants to get back so he can have the opportunity to breakup with me. Nobody has ever broken up with him. I could be wrong but the more I learn about narcissists, I’m convinced he’s one.
You are correct! Steer clear of this creep! I'm so happy you saw the signs early and escaped!! I had never heard of narcissism nor did I know of any of its insidious signs, so I tried to "make it work" for 30 years and wondered what was wrong with me! UGH! If I had only known!!
You're right, so he could discard you instead.
You're absolutely right! Well done you.
Trying to hurt you because you set boundaries!! Discarded him first!Don't fall for any of his tactics!!!
@@janetrobinson2699Yes he's a creep!!!
This was so helpful, Kris! Especially about the "triggering effect". My spouse often catches me off-guard with his narc actions...I get broadsided which causes me to have a knee-jerk response almost every time. I end up "reacting" with strong emotion versus "responding" in a calm and collected way and feel like the loser. Not every time, but at certain times depending on how bad the thing he did is! He has become a constant trigger for me and like the woman at the end of your video, his very presence repels me now. I cannot appreciate anything he does at this point because I know his heart is not in it and he is just going through the motions. Like you said, he is not "relating" to me, just playing me and using me. 25 years of dealing with this person, but the worst has been since his retirement 2 years ago. His narcissism has been in full view, the mask is off (it's only "on" for others), and God has helped me put all the pieces of the puzzle together. It is a miserable experience/existence that truly stunts a Christian's growth and well-being. I do handle it better than I used to, but he still can trip me up.
Ex actl
😊
Y
God help you! It’s actually a sign you are in the Lord bc otherwise satan wouldn’t need to poke you
That's right. Not sure how much more I can take, though. 25 years is a long time to deal with someone who does not love you, but you love them and give them your "all" in spite of their abuse! The only reason I am still with him is because I don't want to do something God hates (divorce). But sometimes, you just have to do what you have to do for self-preservation.
God also calls us to peace my dear sister. God hates divorce but He hates abuse and mistreatment of wives even more. Pray. You are dealing with an unbeliver and have every right to depart 1 Corinthians 7:15. 🙏
Mine had a PhD in Passive Aggression. It was maddening.
I totally understand
The only problem I see with the neighbor, Mr Jones, is the fact that I can dismiss the lies and disrespect of a neighbor that I don't have to live with. It's a lot more difficult when it's somebody who is supposed to be the leader in the home. You're supposed to be able to trust the leader of the home. Lies and disrespect from your spouse hit a lot deeper than just being upset. When your spouse decides to just not go to work or call out from work because they know it will drive you crazy, it is a threat. You are stuck in a hopeless hellscape with this person. It's easy to walk away from Mr Jones.
You hit the nail squarely on the head.
Yes it has taken a toll on me
A bum
👍🏾
What to do in that kind of situation? I pray Jesus shows us how to deal with that.
Also, would like to know how to handle a situation where two of the family members that you live with one is covert and another overt?
Thank you Kris, I have been educating myself over the last three years, becauseI began to think I was crazy, Iam a Christian and married to a Christian, and what I have endured as a woman of faith, is really excruciating!
I now understand, and I have been able to speak my truth, have stronger boundaries, but it is a daily battle.
Asking the Lord is it time to leave this toxic person. I have accepted the fact my husband will not change.
That's good! Don't forget it ok? It can be dangerous
He could be playing he's a Christian & really isn't!!
I love your show Ms. Reece! You're educating us on all on how to deal with and recognize these demonic people. Thank you! I am definitely living with one of these demons and I am desperately trying to get away. Just can't afford it with the economy being the way it is. I wish there were outlets to help women/men to get away from these folks. We need deliverance!
@@pameladaggs you can go to the domestic violence center in your area.
I had no idea until today that my ex-best friend has every trait of a covert narcissist. I always knew something was off, but this is an epiphany! I understand why God removed her from my life much better now.
My ex best friend of twenty four years was removed this year from my life. It’s painful to know I couldn’t accept the red flags. It made me a bit colder but I know God knows best so I accept. She was taking me for granted and taking my kindness for weakness and jealous of me. She would say some mean and unnecessary things and I would dismiss it, God said no no you ain’t taking my child for granted. God is good and faithful.
@@tailsthefox6568
Pray for me that God makes a way for me to exit my babies dad, as I often feel he is a covert narcissist. In the name of Jesus, amen. 🙏 thank you
@@shiningstar7793Hop you find away. Bless you, I will pray for you. Stay strong.🌟🙏🕊️👍
@@shiningstar7793 I am praying for you that God will make a way for your and your babies to get away from the abusive narcissist in your life! Praying for God's comfirt and provision! Also for good people to come into your life and to help and support you! In Jesus name, Amen! 🙏💜
@@godschildyes
Thank you so much!! It means a lot to me! 🙏 I really appreciate it with all my heart. God bless 🙌 ❤️
Omg Kris, he charged at me, screaming for me to get out. Later on, he told me I wasn't going to do anything. They are sick individuals. Scary. I have trusted God. God has removed him. I'm getting better every day. ❤ to all of you!
I stand only because of the goodness of God. Who rescued me . And restored my heart.. what an awesome God we serve 😂😂❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
13 years, after his death the lies and cheating exposed. Healing from life starting with mother being a narcissist.
You hit it spot on Chris, I have experienced that demonic personality disorder in-person.
Thank you for this! I was raised by a covert narcissist; a very religious woman who is always a victim.
You are right. I married a narcissist. My eyes are now open but to be honest yes, I somehow felt it. I knew something was not okay but I continued with him. Hence I'm not fighting anyone or blaming but trying to get myself out of the situation I put myself in. With God's help I got this. Thank you for all your teaching
You think God wants to help you end your marriage??
Yes if it's an abusive relationship
@@younggiftedandblack7634 marriage is eternal
Mine because of being to closely related
I knew early on that something was wrong with my ex gf,I just wrote it off on her TBI as time went on it was much more.been about 6 months and iam still learning.
I own my part 20:23
Never again in Jesus' name
AMEN!
I stuck it out, with a family member...for decades. They're a war child. I learned all about it. They dreamed of the wars at night and lived them during the day. Only after this member faced a deathly illness and lived...only then did I see change. But for some reason, i was different, to be able to stick it out like i did. I know that. Nobody knows the wars i faced with them. But today, oh! Such a sweet time we have now. The sensitivity, the laughter, the new memories. Everyday I'm grateful. This is for those who stick it out.
Do you think that they were saved by Jesus?
@@bonniemoerdyk9809 hi, yes!
Oooh, oooh, oooh!! Let me answer this one. The narcissist will never leave you alone, you have to disengage from them. Even when they discard you, they are lurking & keeping tabs on you, just in case they need to suck you back in in the future -- you know, when they have no better options.
You are better off waiting for the end of the world than you are waiting for the narc to leave you alone.
This was definitely a perfect description of my ex, his mother and family members. They constantly would gaslight me as well. They called me a victim when I would confront them. I had to cut all of them off completely to keep my sanity and be healthier. I left knowing I would be called the villain and they all spoke poorly of me to anyone that would listen. I wasn't perfect for sure, and I did have a mental breakdown at the end. But I asked forgiveness and owned it, and also had to forgive myself for allowing what I did and for not loving myself well. My eyes are wide open now. And I have such a huge guard up not to allow these types of relationships in my life ever again. Anyone who has been through this I feel for you. I deeply understand how hard it is to do the inner work and heal. But it is possible. And I definitely watch words and actions even more than ever. I value selflessness, love, kindness and gentleness that asks for nothing in return. Any kind of relationship or love that is conditinal is never real. I value those relationships that are genuine even more. 👌 ❤
I needed this Message i have always overlooked something in my Marriage. Because I always believed She would change. But she is a narcissist . I have just recently been learning about this behavior. from this channel and some others. Which has helped me to realize I'm not crazy and help me to protect my heart and pray to God. What Do I need to change in Me. Frist thing is realizing I can't fix this. God will have to fix this. I need to change me and find peace in my heart and mind.and pray for my wife .Thank you for your ministry.
We always hold out hope, we are the decent spouse.... hoping for change from the narcissist. So tough. The Lord has us in His hand
I tested everything you said. And boy did i become mortified 😮. I then had to pray for the lord to get me out 🙏. And finally it happened 🙏. Praise God 🙏. Thank you Lord Jesus Christ 🙏😊
Thank GOD you are out but how did GOD get you out and set you free ?
Thanks so much for your wisdom and discernment. I've felt for one 3yrs ago, tried to finish the relationship few times but was manipulated to stay and give it another try. Felt trapped but finally breaking free - best to block all contact with the abuser or you will never escape their snare. Thanks again
Caita jinamu
Seventeen years before anxiety brought me to the end. I was introduced to the term narcissism. A year of studying, heartbroken , and good counseling I said good bye to my son who married a covert woman. She was the golden child of a powerful attorney (overt narcissistic) and her brother the truth teller. Understanding brought peace. I do work arounds to have safe moments with my grandchildren and son. Meaning we attended their sports events. That’s all we can. Peace doesn’t mean I don’t feel the loss of my son and grandchildren, there are no other options. I wouldn’t wish this situation on anyone, I grieve living family members. God has been good, there in is the peace of learning discernment! Thank you for your insight! ❤
Thank you so much 💗 I was very blessed by this video and your pray. My husband is a covert narcissist whose resorted to patterns of violence against me and our kids. I left him one month ago today. I wanted to leave in a “better way” but I ended up having to dial 911 and the way this has all panned out I’m now seeing Gods hand in it all to rescue me 💗 my Lord, my savior!! Thank you again for the prayer for discernment & recognizing my part in this.
I left with my kids due to his violent tendencies. Bless you on your healing journey.
I did this testing with my mom. She flew off the handle. Things like refusing to come over for Christmas then showing up Christmas night demanding her house and car keys back. Or randomly showing up and bringing all my kids toys back that we leave at her house when they visit. What came out when tested was very childish behavior. Waiting helps you not do things you will later regret like taking them back or excusing and overlooking their toxic treatment of you.
Unfortunately my mom was a narcissist. We think we all are in some ways. But- hers was officially her chain!! Self importance. Jealous envious demanding very low self esteem, . I gave my life to her and she turned on me bc of finally said no to her. She stopped talking to me after and deliberately named me NOT TO GET ANYTHING IN HER WILL- with the help of my “ darling” siblings
Hi ! Recovering escaped christian empath. Once I left Thank God I never got fooled by him again . Wasted bout 10 yrs plus sidetracked my relationship w Jesus , siphoned $$$, health, emotional well being - Narcsite says ‘Once you know you go’. Hard but seperate from Evil asap
You sound like me.
I'm 13yrs in and I am still stuck here in this.
I've only discovered that I was married to a covert narcissist back in February.
This is all so painful
@@kimberlydavidson-fh1hi it is surreal painful , thank God you found this site, you need support so you can unlearn the brainwashing that breaks your spirit & discernment- they are crazy making it almost seemed to me they project their demonic onto us till it sticks & then we sort of manifest their internal sickness but on the outside
Exactly the same here....off track with God
Staying in an abusive relationship for 42 years,was not because of any shortcoming in myself. It was because I promised at the alter when we got married to stay for better or worse. It was I wanted to keep my family from falling apart that I chose to take the suffering so that I could keep my children of the trauma of a divorce. It is because I believed that I could cope with the abuse until he would manage to change into the loving partner I prayed for. So,no no fault of mine caused me to stay. It was all to serve the greater good.
Unfortunately I did the same thing. I stayed 33 years but I damaged my daughter maybe worse than if I had left. It’s painful to say the least 😢
I too stayed for the same reason, 54 yrs married he the Narc Husband with Paranoia now in an Assisted Living Facility with Alzheimers.
@@annawallace3264 I hope you can heal!
Amen!! This video was just where I was- I needed this!! Im divorcing my altruistic, narc husband. Its with a very heavy heart, bc its devastated our family. I take care of my 24 y.o. disabled daughter, and Im now doing it alone, which, as horrible as it sounds, is so much better than doing it with my hyper controlling, manipulative, hypervigilant, husband. He pretended to be a believer in God, at least- which he is not!! God has shaped circumstances where I am teleased from him. I was so willing to be " rescued" when I was young, and gullible. God has lead me through all of this in His mysterious ways. Im so thankful- its the hardest thing, so far, but the thought of EVER trusting any man again, is just unthinkable. Thank you for this video. Very helpful.
Amen...60 years. Ive been seeking healing for the past 4 years. The damage goes that deep. Everything iie..codependency hardwired into me. I finding out that in a lot of churches, you cant make "friends" unless you are doing things for them. I have been saying no and i watched what happened. All of a sudden , they stopped asking and asking. I was totally alone. There is no such thing as genuine christian fellowship anymore. You are either alone and ignored or accepted and their slave
Oh wow. I am so sorry you are having this experience in the church. I hope you get to a place where you start doing things that make you feel loved and at peace within.
There are different ways of looking at it. Serving in your church is serving God. It's ok to say no and to not be available for every request, but if you have a gift or a talent or an ability you want to use it for the service of God and you end up being blessed in return. "Slave" is a strong term that can cause bitterness and resentment. What does He want you to do, if anything, in your church?
@@Kennedy4ever
The Bible uses the word “slave”
That's very true. It's very hard to make genuine friends in the church as it is all based on what you contribute to them. I left my church in 2007 for valid reasons and no one has ever even asked me why, even though my husband still goes there and has constant contact with people I knew/know.
Fortunately we have choices to connect or disconnect and if we are not feeling satisfied with our perceptions of other peoples choices concerning us, we have to ask God to help us perceive the situations at hand in a way that will bring us more clarity and love from him. Most things that we make judgement calls on are learned judgement calls for certain behaviors and are not always true.
Our minds love looking for validation for a particular experience and what it means for us because it gives us the feeling of solving a problem that will help us in the future to be confident in solving similar ones. It’s a safety preparedness thing our brain does.
2023 has been a transformational year for me. I have been on a journey at weeding out toxic people from my life for 2 and a half years now, which has been the majority of the people in my life. Friends and family alike. I decided to test these people and oh my gosh! The majority have ALL turn their back on me. Im like, WHAAAAT! has been an excruciating and dark time for me. It took me on a very informative journey on fixing MYESELF!! To see why I "attracted" these types of people. It's called people pleasing or being to nice. In finding this out I was so embarrassed. But now after watching your videos along with others I have also found out that this stemmed from childhood trauma. Now it all makes sense. I am continuing on working on myself to better of who I am and setting boundaries.
Not your fault. You are beautiful and an Overcomer in Jesus Name🙏
@preacherbarbie thank you.... I have found this out as well. Yes, in Jesus' name, I will overcome!!
You are going through what ALOT of us are, just know you're not alone,GOD 🙏🏽 is showing us. we know now, and that's our battle...we will win, and the people will either see, or they don't. im dealing with it now even from my own children 😢
But know this; still love them, we just accept and let's train them up to know how to spot these demonic people,and make sure they don't be people pleasers, and surely don't turn out like them. That they know what boundaries are, and how to put them up. ❤❤❤ Much love too you I know how lonely this Walk can get.
Pastor Kevin la Ewing is a great teacher he taught me Soo much God bless you 🙏🏽
I completely understand you!!! It's so heart wrenching and this journey of figuring everything out, unlearning and educating yourself to not fall back in the cycle again is so hard and overwhelming at times. I hope and pray to God to really get to where I need to be because I seriously thought I was not going to make it out from the mindset I was in last year and even though this year has been better than last year I have to Thank God that today I am a bit more stronger 🙏
I hope and pray to God that when you get to where you need to be you can use everything as a testimony to help others 🙏✨️ Only we know how hard it can be to get out of this cycle 💔
I was trapped for 20 years by a Covert Narcissist. He never consummated the marriage because he knew I wanted children. I never had a child. Very sad.
He would never have sex with you??? 20 years married no sex??
Can't understand one is married for 20 years without any sex. Possibly what you mean is that he insisted on using protection? If so, that is technically still considered consummation. Wishing you healing!
@@HBudianu , I was young and a virgin. I didn’t have sex before my second marriage at 42. I miss being a mom very much.
trapped? were u locked in a windowless room or something? U could LEAVE any time u wanted methinks, u just chose not to.
@@Lauren-vd4qe , I was teaching at a small university in a small town. You obviously have not lived with a narcissist. They control EVERYTHING beyond belief. When I finally went to a lawyer, he told me exactly what to do. It’s dangerous. I’m glad you don’t have to escape a narcissist.
Good Lord! What a class ! What a blessing ! What a precious video ! Thank you Kris!
Amen and Amen! Thank you for your prayers. I have been praying Luke 12:2 over my Christian daughter who has found herself in covert narcissistic relationship.
Amen. Thank you for the prayer. I have problems with boundary setting’s due to upbringing. Father help us with discernment and help us to keep our soft heart. In Jesus name x
Re:Boundary settings due to upbringing." If you've grown & experienced toxicity, it becomes your normality, unfortunately. "Do unto others how one would like people to treat you" These demons aren't of God so they take advantage of your giving self with the outcome usually being destroying you mentally & sometimes physically by using you as a punch bag...simple When they met you...they admired whatever strengths you had because they didn't possess those qualities...& quietly jealous of those characteristics...so they destroy you over time & blame you for their well planned manipulative behaviour towards you...simple
Amen
I agree with you.
Amen! I’ve been so manipulated by 2 different people, for so long. Lord help me be better at testing.
Kris I needed this prayer so desperately I feel so hopeless and overwhelmed right now
Thank you Father for using Kris to help me
I recently confronted a "friend" from church about some controlling and insensitive remarks she made. She immediately started screaming at me about how I was unkind, un Christ like and should be concerned about my soul...I did react and raise my voice saying "you need to understand..." not knowing what I was dealing with. Your videos have been so helpful. She told me to never call again which I was happy to do.
THEN she sent an apology proclaiming her love, lecturing about kindness, asking forgiveness for this "misunderstanding" and telling me about HER bad day.
After talking with my family and my counselor I have not responded to her letter and will not. I feel a bit uncomfortable at church seeing her..if she asks about my lack of r
I was raised by two pros. Breaking free has been excruciating. But once you realize who your parents are. 90 percent is over. I encourage everyone to do the research. I can look back 6 months ago and not recognize myself. Keep going forward, and you will be in so better a place you won't believe it. By all means make a better and healthier and HAPPIER YOU.
📝 "Saying No" truly is one of the simplest and best tests. It's easy to remember, and it makes sense, too. Here's how: Yes, we all want to help others or to show them a kindness. However, there are also "normal/every day" barriers that prevent us from being able to do so. These barriers are what allow us to "say No." We don't need to justify ourselves to the Covert Narcissist, but when you think of it this way? Maybe it helps. A barrier might be time, money, a prior obligation, etc. You "say No" because you are attending to another priority, right?
🎭 Often, the Covert Narcissist attempts to manipulate you into doing something that requires you to reorganize your priorities--to squeeze them in. Not always, it depends on the person/situation; however, a "normal" person will respect your boundaries and you when you "say No." A Covert Narcissist will behave like a toddler in an adult costume. Their reaction may not happen immediately or in your presence, but they will behave like a child very often.
⏳ If you suspect you're dealing with a Covert Narcissist, then "saying No" is a normal thing we all can do. Use a prior commitment if you need to, but they should just accept your No--especially if you are making the decision based on a family or work reason. If they keep trying to talk you into it or start pouting/silent treatment (lack of boundaries), you may have a clue as well.
✝ Regardless, "Saying No" is a normal part of navigating through everyday life. You're not meant to be a doormat as a Christian--none of us are! Anyone who attempts to manipulate you to do something with that sort of line should be avoided! [2 Timothy 3:1-5] 🙏⚔💖
Yes,thank you ❤
I see you have good insights, maybe you'll be able to help a little... talking to my bit older sister ( she's in US , I'm in Europe currently with my Mum), and listen to my sister, sounded as my Mum is behaving narcissistic towards her.... I'm living now with mum, came to help and was so in "mission" of doing so, forgot about myself and can't see it objectively...how can I see...? I love my mum and understand her , I do my sister and I feel like being in the middle, understand all parties but don't know what to do with it...
@@karolinaszczudlo9871 Your mom... if a narc... probably is saying some truth if it's making rules....your sister is maybe mad because she adds extra judgement in her messages. The important thing is to stand on truth and say it in love....while staying focused on the subject at hand....if your mother doesn't want to hear it... which she probably doesn't.....state the boundaries that need to be i. Place. No one needs to be in Soo much toxicity from anyone. Don't drive yourself crazy because you can't control either all you can do is point out truth and FACTS. Pastor Kevin la Ewing has many teachings in these things....I think it might help you understand
The teaching is called resetting relationships. I hope this helps.
Pray about it...ask the Holy Spirit to lead you.
@@jernisharichard5032 thank You 🙏 I'll look this pastor teachings ❤️
@@karolinaszczudlo9871 Your welcomed 🤍🌹🤍🌹🤍
People are a lesson or a blessing and discernment will teach you which is which. Hugs y’all.
People a Lesson or a Blessing - that's a keeper
Truth 💯❤️🙏
Thank you Lord for sending this for me today 🙏🙏🙏
This has tremendously helped me 😢 I’m married to a pastor who everyday tries to torture me and manipulate me mentally, I’m almost empty and my soul is tired, so thank you from heaven above ❤
Amen. I was married to a covert narcissist for 27 years and didn't recognize it until he walked away from our marriage. Now I am still enduring a 7-year, ongoing process for divorce. His passive aggressiveness has been dreadful and the narcissism has grown so bold throughout the divorce process. I actually need prayer discerning what to fight for and how hard to fight for it when it comes to the settlement at this point. He very literally feels no responsibility for anything he's done and feels no need for restitution. Long story short, I suffered a medical injury and can no longer work and literally, God pays my bills... miracle by miracle each month. God is so amazing!! I love seeing how God is working in my life and through my life, but I want to be legally free from this man and I truly want this divorce over ... please pray.
I already notice several similarities between the “covert” and “overt” narcissistic. They think too highly of themselves, yet covet what others posses, great impersonators, etc.
I'm finding this odds that all of a sudden the word narcissism has been coming up in in UA-cam this past year or two. Define helps explain what I was dealing with with one of my parents all my life. They nearly drove me insane. I've had to separate myself from them and the rest of the family this past year. No it is not been easy I'm doing it so I can heal both emotional and physically. My body has taken a toll for 45 years.
It certainly has been in the spotlight for the past several years. Maybe it's many peoples searching for answers in an age that is possibly the most narcissistic in history. Maybe it's God's providence to prepare us for discerning good vs. evil. Be careful out there - many mental health professionals, don't believe it, some who do believe don't understand it, most people don't understand it. I think the confusion is due to most narcissistic abuse is done covertly, behind closed doors. And narcissists are so good at deception that they can warp reality enough to make many people think you have a mental disorder and they are perfectly normal.
I simply pray everyday that I can endure until the end . My mother is 93. It’s almost over ( I figure I have another 3 to 10 years) .
I feel the same way, but I’m 49 and my husband is 52!😕
Pastor Kevin la Ewing try him y'all ❤
@@juliemcmenamy1294please don’t waste your life! Leave him!
I recently discovered a "friend" betraying me in direct with a new friend. I told him he was jealous and envying me !!!!! And i recognize what and why .
Mosquitos bite… that is what they do…. Love it. Will remember that one when I’m dealing with bad behaviour
I am trying so hard to keep my compassion for him but not drop my boundaries. It's so hard. Especially when he knows the right buttons to push: GUILT and SHAME.
You already know he’s a narc, leave him. A man who shames and guilts you is preparing you for abuse. Why make that easier for him by applying compassion?
Your boundaries are your priority over your compassion for him. He uses your compassion to his advantage so don't give it.
Are you still with him?
If someone is "pushing" your buttons then they are not the right person for you. It doesn't matter how sweetly they talk to you at times. It doesn't matter if they have a good job or future goals or great kisser or great looking. NONE of that matters because it will cost you so much in your heart and mind that when they finally get you to accept crumbs of love from them you feel grateful for that little bit of time and attention. If you are not out then I pray that you get out. If you are dating then ghost him and no contact and thank the Lord.
I read one time that a spoken word can never be taken back. That’s a tough one to chew on for any of us. A narcissist however doesn’t consider this at all. I have been I year no contact and just before my divorce she comes out of nowhere trying to take half of everything and wants alimony. Such an evil mind these folks have. So selfish and self absorbed. I truly feel sorry for her. I hope that she will humble herself before the Lord and be set free of such a miserable life. Love to you all that are dealing with a narcissist or have had to and are finally set free. It is quiet the life experience.
Busy learning to set boundaries. It is NOT taken very well by that person, my door is the next one that closes to her manipulation.
@@retha6504 just my experience, as I have read hundreds of the same. It doesn’t get better. A line has to be drawn. And the narcissist will not draw it. They are living right where and how they want to live. I pray you are free soon!
Just to let you know when I divorced my husband I chose not to get a lawyer, chose not to file with friend of the court and chose not to file for child support. I used (divorce writer) it was 149.00 I told him just pay what you can and that was probably 250.00 a month, with 4 Children. Not every month and there were times I didn’t see anything for a while. The marriage was very difficult for 19 years because of his abusive ways and unfaithfulness but I wanted to be kind by not welding the female authority that the state would give me, the Father has blessed me in many ways. These women who abuse this power given to them by the state will become miserable in the end, you can’t hurt and take advantage even if someone hurt you. I feel bad for the men who cant afford much because the ex wife has completely taken advantage of their full power and not just financially but withholding the children also by not allowing the Dad to see them. We’re talking a healthy Dad here not an Abusive one, that I would understand.
I’m escaping, have my keys to my new place and slowly moving. I’m done after 8 years. Enough is enough! He has no clue. Idc if he’s blindsided. He has done horrible things. I just have to move on. May Christ protect me and my children ❤️
I wanna escape too. But I don know how. Every day I am telling myself that I will go. But then a weeks, months past..pff
@@rdd4356keep praying for strength, plan and execute. Don’t think too hard. One thing that helped was I kept notes in my phone of everything he did-said and when I started to doubt myself I would reread my notes to remind myself, who I was dealing with. Know and believe your reality! You got this!
@@rdd4356please don’t give up on yourself! Trust God and plan. The doors will open when ready. Just have to take the first step
be strong and safe and watch all around you and your children. My NarcHusband had me followed to find out where my Daughter and I moved to then NarcHusband stalked us.
Good for you🙏I wish you and your children a happy future… you’ve definitely done the right thing… love from someone who’s gone through the same hell❤️
I've never heard anyone explain this disorder with such truth and dignity thank you very much bc that mental abuse is so hard to overcome God bless thanks again
Kris i am totally being blessed by our time together. Thank You Soooo Much🙏🙏.
I'm glad you explained the characteristics of a cover narcissist. That's not the narcissist I just got rid of. She was an "in your face" narcissist! I don't know what the technical term is for someone like that, but she was clearly the daughter of the devil. (Overt?) I don't know how people survive year after year with this personality disorder, but within 3 months, I lost 30 pounds and by month 6, I knew of I didn't get away from her, I was going to die. Either from malnutrition or heart attack. Praise God He provided a way out for me. Praise God!!! I've never experienced anything like this in my 60 years on this earth and I pray I never do again! It is definitely a demonic possession. It's spiritual for sure.
You are describing a malignant narcissist.
,Envy is such a huge one with these people.
Oh yeah, it's so plausible isn't it? It's totally crazy making. A 40 year friend. It was "yes, I'm going to NC with you" 7 days before. And then, 2 days before said "I forgot about the church paint walk, oh so I don't know. Next she calls and she's driving. Crazy making.
I have been saying that while we may get truth in church, we never get whole truth.
Whatever happen to casting out the spirit and healing your partner, it's so many divorces nobody speaks on prayer and how to keep the family together
Sir an individual needs to want to be delivered, I’ve never met a narcissist that even could admit there was a problem or an issue with them, so that is an impossible thought and request
You are right on many things. I suffered for 20 years plus in a marriage and didnt know about narcissism especially the covert christian type. I used to think I was mad. I have more information and its easier to cope and i laugh more instead
Oh yeah, lived with a Covert sister for three years and she spent 60 years hiding who and what she really is.
It wasn't until I lived with her, no car, knowing no one in the area and the nearest bus stop two miles away for me to see the truth.
Thank you Miss Reece!!
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Your spiritual counsel has helped me so much to rely on GOD;
every angle of the dangle, it’s been a divine support all the way, for me!!!
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It’s been almost a year now, since the break up with fiancé-narc.
He did come back and being the tender person I am, accepted him in the LORD, but soon the reality of no change, was evident.
I do pray he will “come to the knowledge of CHRIST” get humble and get healing!!
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I am a born-again Christian, and I can say JESUS is my number one gentleman!!! HE will never let me down, His Love is unconditional and I am forgiven.
And to anyone who reads this, Jesus will never forsaken you; ask him to be the love of your heart and trust Him. HE truly loves us like no one can❤
I’ve learned so much and GOD has sustained me through my own faults and everything!!!
And HE will for anyone who calls upon the Name of the LORD❤
“HE has plans to prosper each and every one of us”!! We do have a bright future!!!
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Thank you again for your channel, wisdom and relentless pursuit of GOD!!
You shine Miss Reese!!
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Love n blessings!!!
Thank you for educating me on this. It’s heartbreaking, but the lies hurt more than the truth.
You are a beautiful servant of the Lord 🙏🕊️✝️❤️ thank you Lord Almighty for your beautiful servants
I have become suspicion angry and cold hearted just as you say here ... the covert narcissist in my life is my elderly mother.. I always knew something was wrong as I was growing up but did not realize until decades later what it was. And, until after I was manipulated into giving up my life to moving in and taking care of her, even though I saw (after the fact) it was all a lie! It is very very sad and because this all happened JUST BEFORE Covid hit and changed all our lives, now I feel trapped and don’t have the means to leave 4 years later. I’m now retirement age and she appears to have me firmly under her thumb. This is probably a unique case but still my relationship with the Lord has suffered tremendously. She is NOT a Christian, is mostly independent and has everyone bamboozled into thinking she is a helpless/hopeless little old lady… maybe I should pursue some help through your network of counseling. But still, I don’t know what good it can do at this stage. Thank you Kris for your encouraging posts and the truth. I hope I can get some freedom (emotional at least) even now. God Bless you for what you do.♥️ PS: I will listen again to your prayer for strength. Prayer is what I NEED right now.
I have just become aware my 83 yr old mother is a covert narcissist. I had a huge blow up 4 months away. What a mess but blessing at the same time. Get away as fast as you can. Now that my eyes are open I see what she has been doing. I pop in once maybe twice a week but am very guarded and suited up for spiritual battle. Things are great as long as I do as I am told and fall in line to her wants. It’s a rough tight rope to walk. Cannot imagine living with her. I had been going to her house every other day to bath her and clean her apt. Over night when I stopped she started to drive and bathe herself and clean her own place, grrrr. Told everyone I dropped her even though I go twice a week with mail and groceries. Keep strong . Lean into the Lord
@@Wendyforwellness wow …. This is so sad and infuriating at the same time. HOW can they be like this ??? I want to cry because I think my mother is also ‘gaslighting’ as it appears that is what your mother did to you.. I pray for the strength and fortitude to leave as soon as possible in JESUS NAME.
@@beloveddaughter717 one take away I heard from someone was they are emotional feeders. She bates me all the time but I won’t give any emotion. Smile, nod and keep my words few
I really feel for you. My mother is also a covert narcissist. Going no contact with her has been incredibly freeing, albeit challenging.
Exactly what I got caught up in without knowing until it was too late at my last church. I’m thankful I stood my ground, but it took it’s toll mentally and healing is taking place now that I’m out
Hi Kris.Thank you for this.
Can I suggest a video on co parenting with one of these people?
Many thanks.
My husband for 30 odd years didn’t show his true colour until he found himself unemployed with no hope of finding a job because of his age. Looking back on our life together he made decisions about his career choices with what he wanted and not what was best for the family. Sadly I didn’t understand why he was acting like he was and wasn’t aware of his covert personality looking back now he hide it so well. I can’t even begin to describe to you the games he played with my mind and thinking back now that he has passed on do I realized how he damaged me emotionally. One day he really verbally went after me with some really cruel comments and went out. Little did we both know that he would never come again. He died in our car. Ten years have past and I struggle with the hatred that I have for men. I loath them and have no respect. I have asked god for help and tonight I can honestly feel like the healing is starting. Older and looking back I see the pattern. Trust for me is something that is earned. It is going to be a struggle but I thank you for now I feel that I can start to heal
You'll find more trust in men than women, generally.
you cannot judge all men by the actions of one. But absolutely be cautious or just stay on your own...until you think you are ready.
At least you can see the need for help. You recognize that the anger you live with is unnatural and it's stealing years and opportunity from you. One of the effects of a Narc is leaving thier victims unable to function properly even if for years after they are gone. I believe since you're in the beginning stages of healing from this.. You're on the right channel. Keep listening everyday if possible. It's gonna be a fight to recover all that was stolen from you (your femininity, for sure) but with Christ it is possible. GOD Speed
What? You are mad at your husband because he wanted to do a job he liked? What right do you have to control a person's choice for a career? And yes, it's painful for a man to lose his job when he's trying to provide for his family. You just need to get over yourself. Talk about being selfish....geeze. Maybe what he needed was your support.
@@EBRoyJr lot of narcs pretending to be the victim in these types of comment sections
Tracking..... Relieved seeing Scripture backed analysis. I stumble in disbelief, holding my tongue from reacting. Not wanting to hurt or scar another.
May God bless you abundantly Kris! I discovered your channel a few days ago and have been binging your videos, referring to Scripture, abd on my face in prayer and thanksgiving. Watching this on my way out the door going to court for my husband's assault charge. We've been separated a month now. Thank you for praying with me. Thank you for your teaching. 🙏🙌
You are absolutely right on everything here. The only thing is, the average person wouldn’t know sign to look for. I realized something was way off. And I kept trying to find validation. It wasn’t until I called my doctor and told them something was seriously wrong with me. I was already taking medication for anxiety. I have the now 16 yr old daughter that has always been medically fragile, I already had issues of my own. So I requested medication to help me focus. I’d have 15 things started and warn out and not get anything done but chase my tail. So my physician wanted to try different medications and I was like oh no. So I requested psychologist and entered counseling and medication this way. If you are with a true narcissist, and a high stress job with a high stress child. It has really been a hard one. I wanted to be a biblical wife and I was failing and my household was miserable. My husband would tell me how he wanted a divorce all the time. I think it started about the time we bought that property. 5 months after being married. He never filed. He would just tell me how I have ruined his life and biblically he was ruined now because we wasn’t supposed to divorce. I did this to him. I couldn’t help but think does he even know what he’s talking about? Obviously not. I could see it was a horrible game he played. I didn’t deserve this. I didn’t set out to hurt him. I only tried to be a team and build together and that togetherness is clearly not what he wanted.
My mother is a covert narcissist. I’ve just learned that within the last 2 years. I know now that I’m not such a deranged, unintelligent, unable as compared to “normal” people and bad person. I was just made to feel this way, heavily, since I was a small child.
Yes, myself as well 😢. You spelled it out very well 😅. Thank GOD 🙏🏽
❤ hugs to you, that's very hard ( from mother...) Did she made you feel bad about yourself?
@@karolinaszczudlo9871 yes. She still tries to. It’s insane to see that she is the sick one mentally. People would never know, so I thought. I’ve now seen a few hints in others that tell me they’ve had their suspicions. I was basically hidden away from anyone who knows the family. She was embarrassed of me and was afraid I would say things and such that would expose that we are not the perfect family that she’s worked so hard to ensure its image as perfectly nice normal people. Now I’ve come back and have started singing at the family church, and I do nursing care giving for a very well respected member of the church. I have made friends with her and others who know my parents. So there’s no way for her to hide and pretend that I’m off living my own life so that no one asks about me anymore. Instead, I’m there. It’s backed her in a corner with no way to cover up that she has always been ashamed of me and made facades to cover up who I was to others. I can kind of see now that those people would have accepted me and would have loved me as I am.
@@karolinaszczudlo9871 My experience is like the OP's. My "mother" called me the b word..said that I was cursed...always tried to make me feel incapable.
@@PYT.123 oh dear... that's horrible extreme cruelty, but in same time - open abuse, I don't mean to compare, all abuse it's absolutely horrible, but manipulative abuse messing with mind more cause it's not obvious and can even parade as care...how did you cope with it , if you don't mind me asking??? Did you hated this woman? How as innocent child you understood this? I hope you getting healing ❤️❤️❤️
My father is covert narcissist, only in my adult years, GOD has revealed this to me, after very painfulful lost. Its so under the raider, and still even after you got the revelation, you still doubt the fact sometimes, and question your toughts if you do not keep it in prayer and discernment! A person like this will destroy you emotionally, so skillful, manipulative, and you will end up with nothing, losses, an they will do things in controlling, and you look sick and crazy and the problem child to the public. Thank you so much for bring revelation thru the holy spirit. GOD bless you
Both my parents were so I was groomed from day one. Back then we didn't know about narcs. I've spent my entire life in relationships with narcs. My whole life. No more. Keep your distance with dad. No joke.
Your very vulnerable to being on a relationship with a narc. Be very wise and no matter how attracted you are. No sex. The soul tie will overwhelm you.
Praying for you. This was me and my father for 15 years. God brought miraculous change, eventually in the best possible way. I have no advice that I believe could help, because every relationship is still unique.
But pray for Jesus to come into this - he will be working behind the scenes sometimes for years until that specific time when the plan comes together.
Just keep going running to Jesus who can and does move mountains. Pursue him first and hope and change will come.
They try to destroy a person!!!! Downright evil!!!!!