Kris, is it biblical or okay in the eyes of God for the wife/woman to be the one to initiate the divorce? Or should she have the husband do it because he's the Head of the Household over her (in God's order of things)? And I'm referring to a marriage where the husband is the true narcissist.
@@denise0777don’t forget, the Lord said to separate for a time of prayer. He doesn’t say how or where. Doesn’t mean one has to leave a bad marriage via divorce if you’re not willing to go that far. One shouldn’t keep the company of an angry man.
Kris thank you so much. You don’t know what a blessing you have been for me. Giving me the tools to deal with a narcissist boyfriend, which we’ve been married 3 times. I’ve always been so confused about what was going on with him. Now I know that he’s a narc. It has taken 3 divorces, so many time I’ve gone back because of the fact that he says he changed. Lol. Never happened. Thankfully this last time he came back, I wouldn’t marry him again because I know I can’t trust him and I don’t have any respect for him. I am complete in the Lord and understand what’s been happening to me for 18 years. Thanks again! Bless you! I will definitely listen to all your podcasts.
@@Kittiesinclair5 I have had to do this with two people in my life that were not trusting God to work things out and were overly dependent on me. I would say they were enmeshed. I pulled away back to create a situation where they had to walk their emotional dependence out with God instead of me. One of the situations turned out to be very successful. The other one caused the overly dependent person to run to another person who enabled the codependency even though this person complain to me about it later.
It is no coincidence I found you on this evening. I’m going through hell right now, I felt God spoke to me through you, thank you so much. God’s grace and peace be with you ❤ 🌷 🕊️
So many people are suffering these days. You are not alone. Church used to be a refuge from the world and for me, the one I was attending - it became so toxic that I have quit attending regularly-an extreme departure for one who cut her teeth on church pews. I’ve had to really beef up my personal prayer time & etc. But, when church begins to feel like a minefield & gives you PTSD episodes, it’s good to take a step back to get alone with God & heal. I don’t know what personal hell you have been going through-but I wanted to share a shard of my own, to let you know you are not alone. I will be praying for you. Stay strong, be brave and don’t give up until you get the help & support you need. Be your own best friend. Persevere. Do what you know is best for you, even if no one around you agrees or understands. Be your own best friend. Be kind & patient with yourself. Don’t allow guilt to keep you from taking care of yourself.
There is a misconception among Christians that divorce is a sin. When it comes to cyclical abuse, the abuser has abandoned the marriage by violating the word of God to cherish and love. The scriptures are replete about evil doers. Many Christian women and men suffer abuse because of the culture in the church. Depart from evil for your sanity and ultimately your soul. For many it is their actual life. Many abused Christians have ended up dead with untold stories of abuse. They have developed chronic illness' etc.
Don't give up.u can visit churches or go to a community bible study..womens is fun.these good groups will let u feel unjudged and welcome with love of Jesus
28 yrs of covert/narc/porn/abuse… I blamed myself over and over, prayed, fasted and counseling… I’m finally done and divorce is final in the next couple of days! The knot in my gut is finally gone and my body is finally feeling normal…I lived with the devil…
After 30 years of trying I am finally doing divorce .. I am sad at the fact that is over but also more happier than I have ever been.. no anxiety no walking on eggshells and most importantly not wanting to feel like I want to not live anymore.. I have a purpose to live now
Thank you for sharing. For me it was 34 years of marriage. Finally separated, I could not believe how peaceful my house became, the knot in my stomache gone. Blessings to you from God who is faithful and true love always!
Yes no one knew wut I spoke about when i asked if i could get counseling for narristic abuse syndrome and it made me feel more crazy then ever. This caused me to waste precious years of my kids and my life causing way too much damage.
Say it LOUD! 📣🔔 Am realizing that it’s things like these bad behaviors that the church condones why the Bible said that not everyone who says Lord, Lord will enter the Kingdom of God
WHENEVER SOMEONE BRINGS YOU CHAOS, ANXIETY, AND DESTRUCTION IT IS A VERY CLEAR SIGN FROM GOD THAT THE PERSON WAS SENT BY THE DEVIL AND NOT BY GOD. FOR GOD IS NOT THE AUTHOR OF CONFUSION. THE ONE HE HAS FOR YOU WILL BRING GREAT PEACE, JOY, AND SECURITY.
Most often we get in relationships that God never wanted us to enter into, then we ask God to bless and fix a mess we created and He warned us against! So we must always seek discernment in our decisions when seeking partners, friends and jobs! 🙏🏽
Sorry this happened to you. Turn the other cheek doesn't mean what we've been told. It has cultural significance. Some "religious" too. There's online studies over that verse...I don't wanna misquote, but it's eye opening...check it out.
We live in a toxic very lonely world. We stay in unhealthy relationships to avoid being alone, lonely, & unloved without realizing we are already living in this reality.
So true. He would only be with me in the public or on trips. Inside our home, he avoided me. I was so lonely. This began one week after we were married and continued for 8 years. I thought it was my fault for 5 years. It almost killed me mentally and emotionally.
It's too bad that so many of us wasted so many years being with someone God didn't want us to be with, but didn't/couldn't leave for whatever reason. A waste of years of our lives
No wasted years my friend. Only tested ones. Your messages are miraculous ma’am! Hard to digest- like God’s convicting words-keep listening-receiving, believing-THEN testifying. I’m almost there!!! No turning back!
Dear friend, I was married to what I eventually learned was a covert narcissist… for almost 50 yrs! I continually suffered… but desired to honor & obey God’s Word. I continually thought that if I was loving & gracious, & if we could patiently talk together sharing thoughts, then everything would be good. That never really happed… he didn’t really repent…. I don’t think….. And bigger issues came about. I also didn’t want to bring about destructive issues for my growing & maturing children & then many grandchildren. Yes, this dear woman is very right about what she’s saying….. Interesting… bearing under abuse….that’s in my past…(& actually present but completely different circumstances). However, my then spouse eventually became very sick, I cared for him for his last 12 yrs. Thankfully, the years weren’t wasted… my children are strong but humble Christians with strong but humble spouses & grandchildren, growing in the LORD. Remember… Romans 8:28 “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God & are called according to His purposes.” I’ve learned much in my old age… and trust the LORD. I’ve grown enormously spiritually.
Me too! Over 17 years in a legal binding agreement. It wasn't a biblical marriage. There was no oneness. I was used. And a year and a half legal battle, counseling, support groups and healing.
At age 65 & in very poor health, I can say it can waste your WHOLE LIFE! Do NOT let that happen!!! Time passes & changes occur - like in your health - but situation does NOT get better. You may get used to it, but that isn't good enuff. If you stay anyway, whatever keeps you from being able to leave now, WILL get worse. And the toxic person lies in wait for that...knowing you can't do anything about it now, unleashes the worst in them. Do NOT stay so long that 1 day you wake up to find you CAN'T leave & live on your own!
I did it for 39 years. Grew up Catholic and divorce was a no no. My mother did it all her life. It's sickening I wished that something like this would have been available way back in 1977
He was bad from the beginning but I guess I had no self-esteem from the life I grew up in watching my mom neglected and abused. I went for the very same thing. And I stayed in it for way too long and for too many wrong reasons.. hey cornered me in the marriage with two children when I threatened to leave after a year. And then he let them go and get into so much it was so much heartache pain and suffering over the years and then of course a grandson came along that they were giving away like a dog. I couldn't let that happen so I fought for him and won raise him for 6 years. I was threatened I couldn't come to his graduation or many sporting events. Him he turned my two daughters that he didn't even want against me. I truly believe they tried to put me away and make me have a nervous breakdown. But God himself spoke and said it's time to go my grandson was bigger now and I didn't need to take any more suffering caused by him or them. He just passed away February 6th. And they got all his money. All the money I saved all those years for our retirement. I wished that this all would have happened many many years ago. I've suffered greatly emotionally mentally and in the end physically. The Catholic church and my mom were wrong in stating that you stay to who you are married to. I had no one to help me then and I have no one to help me now only God. But God is the best. He is my best friend my comforter my therapist My healer my everything. And even though it was my whole life I am glad that I found out before I died. That even family that you loved and did everything for will stab you in the back for selfishness and hate. I pray from the time I wake up to the time I go to bed. I thank God for the goodness he has given me in this totally chaotic craziness. Even I was caught in the web thinking that I was doing the right thing staying. But I was staying for all the wrong reasons. Thought that they loved me. Thought that they could never hurt me or that they never would. It's a sad world when your own family betrays you.God help us all. I only wish I would have known about narcissism and that there would have been programs like this back in the day😢❤
So true! The church was the most toxic resource for me. When my husband was emotionally, physically, and financially abusing me, I reached out to the church for help. He has isolated me from friends and family so church and a crisis hotline were my only resources. The church told me to stay and be a “good wife.” So I stayed and endured an additional year of him screaming, throwing things, drunk driving, him risking my life countless times. I did this all to please God (or so I thought). Then one day, I prayed to God begging for forgiveness and I filed for divorce. I ran away from home and hid out because my husband was going to be angry. I’m now free and divorce was finalized. God provided shelter, food, and a job for me. It made me feel like I may have made the right choice after all and He still loves me.❤ I wonder if I had listened to the church if I’d still have my life.
We have to be careful where we get advice, even in church. God is omnipotent, omniscient, merciful, loves us and loves justice. God knows us and our situation better than any one and He is our best advisor and advocate. God bless your journey with Him by your side!
It’s very heartbreaking when your narc husband (40 years married!) convinces your 3 adult daughters that HE is the victim. So I’m estranged from my daughters and also the 7 grandchildren. He’s divorcing me, telling everyone that he’s tired of my crap. The irony. I’ve gone through some unbelievable emotional suffering and yes, trauma, as a result of all the narcissistic’s classically horrendous behavior. Through counseling, I’m learning to change my mindset from grief and sorrow to thankfulness that he will be gone and I will finally be at peace. I am realizing that God is delivering me from evil. My husband will have to answer for his demonic-influenced choices.
After 23 years I am filing for divorce 1 week from now. Thanks to your channel and help from a therapist who is well acquainted in trauma bonded relationships.
I feel you! I thought I was alone about taking 25 years to remove myself from my toxic abusive husband. May God grant us the strength and courage to go through this journey 🙏🙌🌹
I left my marriage of 16 years 8 months ago and have had a hard time total walking away because we have a 13 year old and He continues to manipulate me I am also about to sign divorce papers but am still very sad and angry about it I put so much into our marriage and now my cup is empty😢
Listening to Kris and therapists helped me get through my pain and anxiety. I’m recently divorced and free from the toxicity. We’re both Christian. He would throw Bible verses at me and shame me for leaving although he knew my health was declining due to stress from his ugly treatment towards me. Listening to Kris helped me to heal..all glory to God. I take full accountability for my divorce. We have no children together. I drove by myself across the US back to my hometown and blocked all communication from him.
Wow i can relate. I'm 23 years and finally filing for Divorce as well. She just won't change. Got older amd meaner and more toxic. Ungrateful and argumentative for everything. Has no idea I'm finish. Can't see i stop the flow a long time ago. Too arrogant.
35 yr marriage. Cheating and lying the whole time. 3 kids grown and some grand kids. She won't give up control of finances of the business. I feel to old to start over. I'm 57.
After 50 years of mental and emotional abuse, I cut ties with my younger sister . Never slept betterr , no regret , and reist mu Moms efforts to manipulate a reconciliation . I have forgiven my sister ,but do mot qant hwr back in my life . Forgiving soneone doesn't mean you are required to allow them back in your life - ever !
I have mentally let go my spouse. Even though he is in the home. No more praying for his protection, his deliverane. I pray for his humility and brokenness that he may repent and come to Christ. I have freed myself of guiding him so he will " See the light" It was never my position to begin with. I focus on God, becoming closer to him. He is left to his sin.
It's never good to stay in an abusive relationship. Run away fast and never look back. He used our religion as spiritual abuse. He would use God as an excuse. A horrible person.
After 33 years of an unhappy, toxic marriage, I’m finally getting the courage to walk away. I realize I can’t change him, but I can change myself by having enough self respect to leave!
..i didn't respect him anymore. the longer i stayed the more i lost my self respect. i was losing me. my goodness. my faith,..you will come to resemble what/who you love. don't believe they will change. they won't because they lie!!!!!do not blame yourself. do not lose your dignity. forgiveness, walk away in forgiveness, hold on to your heart and soul. most times when its time to go, God will open a door of opportunity to get away permanently. don't go back for your own sanity and peace of mind will be at stake. 🕊🕊🕊
I understand exactly how hard it is to,,,,,,I been married to one 40 years and have two sons with mental health problems bipolar and narcissistic tendencies both and they’re adults one is gonna be 40 years and the other is 36 both males living with us and my mom which is a covert narcissist too is living with me for the past 13 years and is now 75 years old and getting worse with her narcissistic tendencies believe me I’m praying 🙏🏼 to God to save them and give me strength and feel me with his spirit because is really really draining me I have fibromyalgia and barely can sleep with all this people draining my energy but because God love and mercy I can live day by day and keep waiting for his coming to go home,,,,and my daughter is a narcissist too that all her live hate me and still keep coming home to visit just to bring more caos to all of us like we don’t have enough so I think knowing my life now you my think you have it a little bit easier than me I be praying for you and Jesus is coming very very soon I mean he is right up here just waiting for his Dad to say ,,,,, NOW amen
While you wait to hear from God, start to envision yourself being set free. Envision yourself living life in peace. Envision yourself enjoying nature. In the mighty name of Jesus Christ.
There was a period and I thought but if he is sick, maybe he is not responsible. He needs my help and support. But eventually 1 Christian friend understood and told me : you have to let go of him. She was right. We can not fix them
Yes, realizing that we are not responsible for their sin and shameful things they do , carrying a burden trying to cover all the things they have done , but it's not mine.
Thank you. My father never allowed me to grieve even as a child. It was weakness to him. So when I cried because at q4 years old I lost my dog I had for 12 years. My father yelled at me and told me not to cry. Many times he looked down on me, criticized me and reminded me I was not his favorite child, older sister was. When my mother, best friend the one who led me to Christ, past, I was yelled at for crying, that was weak in his eyes. My dear sweet Christian mom past at the young age of 55. My father grew increasingly hurtful to me and my child. He disliked us and he showed his dislike of us. My sister, his favorite child, he said so, feed him with horrific stories of my family. She increasingly drove him to full on rejection. I constantly tried to get them to live me, accept me and oh how I wish cherished me as I cherished them . My father past in October, my sister inherited his home, land, Bank account life insurance, he made sure to leave nothing to me, my son his first grandchild. We all struggle with why? He would be proud as when he passed I didn't cry, or grieve. I was strong like he wanted me to be. I don't miss him. I feel a sense of relief, I no longer have to try to live up to someone's expectations. Thank you for allowing me to release this. You are the first Christian based self help advocate, that when I listened, I knew you understand. Amen and God bless
I’m a slow learner & deceived 30 yr marriage. Adored me used me drained me cheated nonstop & arranged most all assets to keep for himself in his dishonesty… cutting my losses & running. Did I lose the beautiful destiny God had for me??? I’ve been swallowed up in a sink hole of darkness. At 68 do I let go of what he financially stole from me? Yes bc Heaven & being free from his darkness Is a win win. I was scared & thought if I prayed harder for him- yes NO Repentance!!!! Time to RUN!!!!!
@@faithbelleg7465 I trying - at least he’s out but divorce dragging out bc of him- God will bring it to an end for all of us. Just have to go thru this imperfect system & But He will be our Advocate. Sometimes hard to hold on to that - but that is Truth. He Will make a way.
I clicked on this video by accident! Currently fasting and preparing for separation next month. While fasting, I did feel like God was revealing my partner in more ways! Since the fast started they have been ignoring me and we're in the same house! I have no idea why! Wow! Again, God has affirmed it! Go and do not look back!
Same with me going on 3 months of him ignoring me like I don’t exist in the same house. I think this is God giving us a way out. I filed for divorce after 17 years. God will restore our wasted years !❤️
Pray for more decernmemt I have and thank God , these people come to try to take and destroy you by lies and manipulation trauma drama the list continues, you shall know them by their fruit too , you got to understand that it was. Test too or then in your life for a season of the reason , you don't have to put up with not being treated right or disrespected from anyone
I so needed to hear this message today, thank you Lord Jesus Christ for loving me. It’s been a tough couple of months but I know with God’s love I will get through! Thank you Kris, God bless you x 🙏🏽✝️🕊
I’ve been trapped by toxic narcissist family all my life until the last few years. Im 46 years old now. As a scapegoat that always told the truth, I became a target. I’m also a Christian that has tried to show them grace over and over again. I was under the illusion I had to put up with it until I started reading my Bible and seeing how Jesus dealt with people like them. He walked away. So that’s what I did and feel like I can finally heal and live the life Jesus wants me to live.
Exactly 💯 Jesus is our supreme example! He set the self righteous Pharisees off and also told us not to cast our pearls before swine pigs who don't deserve them!
@theintactsoundspr, You have the wrong belief, if that’s what you believed. I know, because, I use to have that “False” belief also 😢, 16 years in an abusive relationship! I had to finally leave, to literally save my life and my sanity! It has been over a year now, I am a Christian and a believer, have been most of my life. I Gave up my Toxic partner and relationship to God, just laid it down at the cross, and walked away! Had to basically start my life all over again, financially, at the age of 64 yrs old 😮, but, with prayers and my Faithful God 🙏 , along with my loving Family, who took me in, I am so grateful and finally at peace! 😊. I quickly learned, that staying in a relationship with someone who doesn’t care, and has No Love or Respect for you, is NOT honoring God, and God does Not want us to live like that, Ever! Honor God, and do yourself a great favor, if you haven’t already, LEAVE! GO! Get out and away from this person/environment as quickly as possible ! You’ll Thank God, and you’ll be glad you did! I am praying for You 🙏 and all the other souls, unfortunate enough to have experienced a Narc’s destruction, as we have! And, Thank GOD for this platform and these videos ! 💞
I packed me and the kids up while he was at work in November. I have had a great peace for 5 months. Not strong enough to file for divorce yet but it’s coming. I’m learning boundaries now but we still have to coparent. Pray for me please. IT IS DONE 😊
@@sherricharles81499 months out and I am feeling so grateful to be where I am. Still haven’t officially filed for divorce but I have the paperwork. Just praying for strength to actually do it. I have too!
The reason I don’t give up on anyone is because God never gave up on me. No matter what sins I’ve committed in the past. But I understand now God works everything His Way
I wish you could do a video on how the children are affected and what you can do to help your children. My husband passed away when my son turned 11 yrs old and I have been battling way worse behavior in my son because of what he learned from his dad. Please pray for us.
I am on a separation and am dealing with learned behaviors in my kids. It's awful. Let me know if you found any videos about this topic, please. Prayers for you and your son.
The last time I talked to my adopted Narc mother, I caught myself saying, "I'm done.", "I'm done." She had no idea it was her that I was "done" with... it's been over 5 yrs now. I'm so glad I took leave of her toxicity and so much more!
Yes, it has been. I have been married to a narcissist for 18 years. She cheated on me 6 years ago, I almost left her, but she had me in an impossible situation, and we had 3 young kids. I felt the biblical mandate to try and stick it out because “God hates divorce” Today those kids are not as young, and I have seen her for what she is, I am filling for divorce. Praying for my kids through this
Thank you Kris! Your videos are SOOO helpful. I’ve been married to a covert narcissist for 26 long years. I filed for divorce 2 weeks ago. I literally would have stayed stuck in hell without your help. I can’t thank you enough! ❤️❤️❤️
I tried my whole life to tolerate my father’s toxicity and to show him the love of God. I DID walk away and I paid the price of leaving all financial benefits and being misunderstood by the family. It took every ounce of courage but no regrets.
I dealt with a verbally abusive father. Otherwise good, except for this major caveat. One who would just shoot off abusive words nonstop whenever slightly triggered, or he felt like doing so without any real reason. I truly feel you. 🙏🏽
Amen! Grew up in the 50’s & 60’s. Most people were Trustworthy. This culture shock is wrecking society. Now I Distrust First (Wary) then move slowly through the possibility of a friend. Love to all and remember to say your prayers. Jesus Loves You.
@@Calico-D yes I have 3 daughters and 1sil who are various narcs. They are no contact when we confronted them about their behaviors. We were always the ones who went to them to make peace, ask them what we did wrong....they never have done so for us. All we want is a Godly relationship and told them this. This is when they came out against us and blamed us for a life long toxicity.
WOW!! THANK YOU for this. “ there is a difference between troubled souls and toxic influences “. This has been the most difficult subject of my walk with the Lord. We are taught to love and forgive every one yet seldom taught to discern and walk away from toxic people. Jesus stepped away from some. This is so helpful and I thank you for clarifying the differences. We can always keep people in prayer but we don’t have to be around them. Boundaries! To protect your heart!
The serenity prayer clearly delineates that I need to accept what I cannot change, i.e., anyone else; that I need courage to change what I can change, i.e. myself; and wisdom for seeing which is which.
I wish I had this understanding decades ago. After 55 years of abuse from the family of origin and 25 years of an abusive toxic marriage (the ex filed), I realized it was never my responsibility to change them nor put up with their abuse
WOW, those are the words Holy Spirit has been saying to me Let them go. But you have added to my knowledge. Turn them over to their desire so repentance will come. So so good.
My last relationship I learned alot. It made me better. I never knew how selfish and toxic I was in the relationship until the relationship was over. I saw my faults and never want to repeat them.
Yesss that was me! So I finally left 🙏🏼 all my children’s and family happy I made that move! I have been praying over my marriage and I want to make sure I’m doing the right thing for my marriage! But I couldn’t keep leaving like this! 18 years of marriage and I finally see that this is a abusived relationship! I’m in peace with myself, Thank You Jesus! ❤❤❤❤
Going through this rn. I'm praying God shows me what to do & gives me wisdom. We have 2 beautiful babies and it makes it so much harder. Please pray for me.❤
Please pray for me. I am scared. I am a mother of triplets and have one that is special needs...I have no family or support im an only child and my mother is deceased. His family is extremely toxic and they are all alcoholics and I have no support.I want to literally pack my van and move us away. Please pray for me and my babies 🙏😢
@@SommerSorensenthe best thing you can do is leave where he can't find you while the babies are little. Once they turn 3 and up they can pick up the bad habits!!! God Bless you and I know He will help you find a good church where they really care and don't judge.
I recently removed all responsibility for my wifes quarrelsome, narcissistic, crappy behavior and give her to God to contend with. Three decades is too long to live with someone void of healthy coping akills and incapable of being on fire for the word of God and showing this in her marriage. I pray for her salvation and i pray she gets to know God how i know him but im done as it stands....
I like when you say don’t hear what I’m not saying, I instantly hear: let those who have ears hear . It’s a reminder don’t misinterpret what God is saying pray for wisdom so I love that
Step back has given me back my life. Your video is so timely. I had bad influences because I didn't want to lose the history instead of how drained I was in the present. I let go and embraced my precious time.
Toxic people are like vampires and the bite puts poison in your system that has to be cleansed and healed. It's really not bringing out the worst in you it's exposing you to the worst in them and draining your best. This is great information and I've run into the endure at all costs perspective and in my heart I know that God is love not torture.
HUGE amount of gaslighting!!! But get this...after the extreme onslaught of bullying, shaming, alienation from my sons, I fought tooth and nail to get away from the ex. He had the church, friends, and family calling and coming by to let me know I needed to obey God and stay with him. I was in danger of hell if I didn't. I cut them all off. Most of these people ended up leaving their spouses for others, and divorcing, including the pastor! I will not subject myself to other people's demands anymore, nor do I think that they are special or above me just because they have a function and/or title that would have caused me to listen and do what they told me I should do. They are mere humans just like me.
I was in a legalistic hypocritic church like that when I separated from my ex. I warned them and they still let him drive the church van and he cheated on me with one of the women he drove home last after dropping all of the rest of us first! Then, he ran up the church land line phone with porn numbers! Serves them right for not listening to me! 😂
God gives us all we need to deal with all difficult times in life including the most difficult people, those people can actually bring us closer to God allowing us rebuild our minds, hearts and souls which are more in alignment with our true selves. We dont have to fear bad people, we dont have to fight, just be silent and watch God bless u with his peace, love and light❤❤
No progress after 20yrs of Narcissistic Abuse,it literally got worst😫😫No contact was so peaceful it was unbelievable,I was so use to disfunction didn’t know peace felt so good.I’m thankful I found your channel and others to help me through this difficult time🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
I have actually been physically sick being with this man who I believe may be possessed. Is this the reason it has been difficult to walk away. I really do need to take a step back. I have noticed I am getting critical towards him. This has been after hours of trying to have a conversation and no response. Yes, he will not ever say anything about being wrong about anything. I have found myself apologizing before almost every conversation. I have been sad and confused. Please pray for me & needing a release 😥
My 50-year-old son is a narcissist of the worst kind and lives with me doesn't have a job, no place to live and it's hard for me to have him evicted. This is absolute hell.
I should have made my daughter leave sooner! She finally left when she was 39. I paid more than enough penance trying to help her! Once they're 18 they have no excuses unless they have disabilities!
@@deborahgarcia7548 I have lived in many other countries. Most are family-oriented and kids live with their parents for long periods of time. Only in America is the culture to boot them out at 18. I prefer the other countries'way of life. I prefer the family living together if they want to, no stigma at all. It's when they hate and abuse you do I say it's not good.
No go to the courthouse get the paperwork going started when it's finished have him served and he gets out of your house even if it's a police on escort that's has to be involved
I'm not even so much as talking about any specific thing in life, I'm just talking about healing from life, I actually died Oct 23 of 2020 and had an experience that totally shell shocked me for almost 2 years and I'm just now really with God starting to get over it
I have set strong boundaries and have worked on self care but I have not seen him make amends for the financially devastating situation he has continued to pursue. It is not safe and is very emotionally damaging to me. I need to protect my health and start re-building my life. I have recognized that he has a very destructive tendencies and patterns that he continually repeats. I have wisened up and am starting to demand respect. I am so thankful that God has shown me the truth and has given me many resources such as your podcasts and other Christian podcasts. I am not His Savior!
God showed me in the midst of being provoked over and over by a narcissist husband that i still had some anger in me. So i had to repent and ask God to heal and deliver me from anger and He did and still working in me.
My comment has passed. God worked it out because I kept saying I would never ever leave. But now how do I heal from 8 miserable years of living with this person. I never even knew this kind of a human being existed. Thank you.
Thank you so much Lord have Kris speaking to me. Thank you removed me out of my 16 years abusive and toxic marriage. Yes I am not responsible for my Covert Nac. Husband's bad behavior. I am done. I am moving on to my new life . Keeping my eyes and Joyce to my Jesus. Please praying God will stopping husband fights with my house. Thank you so much Kris for your Biblical teaching. God bless you and your teaching.
Nahum chapter 1 verses 11thru 15.Walking papers!was on my knees begging for deliverance.Cold opened my bible and here is my promise,"the wicked shall no more pass through thee;he is uterlly cut off."Thanku Father for your deliverance!Even though I didnt see it happen immediatly ,I chose to believe I had it in my hand already
I am a pastor and a missionary to Africa, and it’s hard as it is to walk away I’m walking away from my toxic mother that has hurt me, and My children, I found out things that I knew nothing about, and I have to walk away to feel peace in my life even though it’s difficult, I’ve had so many leaders in the church to tell me that I’m doing right by walking away and that’s what I’m doing but at this time I’m just praying for peace be steel over me and my children. Thank you for sharing. This is much needed for me and my family. I’m sharing it with my children. Thank you so very much. God bless you woman of God amen.
Sondra, I too am a missionary. I had to walk away from my mom. And siblings. It was all too much. It was constant hurt and constant agony. I tried for decades, but in the end they did something that broke me. God said, you're done. No contact. You're done. They didn't love me. They only used me as a scapegoat. I had no worth other than that to them. Hard pill to swallow but I did.
Today, I will let go of the thought that I can change my spouse. Thank you for sharing your knowledge. I am so glad that I have found this channel. God Bless
My divorce is finalized three weeks ago and I keep finding out more and more about my now EX husband. I no God protected me I have no doubt that God shielded me. I just can't stop thinking about him and why he came into my life acting so holy and churchy a deacon in church only to dog me cheating stealing Abandoned me .I want to heal stop being mad at him .I took my valves truly! Jesus heal me to move on Iam 😫 tired
It takes time to heal. Read and meditate on the Psalms. If you're able to read 5 Psalms a day and in a month you will be done with the whole book of Psalms. They're very healing! Also, read 1 Proverb a day. 1 for everyday of the month.
You are so right that once we get away we can see more clearly just how bad it was, far worse than we realized. Even if the only thing wrong is that these people are arrogant and self-righteous judging everything in those they don't like when they don't know the details and when the person they judge is not sinning but just different from them. Those who tell the truth of God's Word are hated by those who think they are special and deserve heaven when all the fruit of the Spirit is missing in them. The flesh is aroused to defend ourselves or fight with those who provoke, it is best to learn silence when around them and avoid them whenever possible.
I am so excited for my new life. Its been 14yrs. I am so proud of healing my soul and partnering with Jesus because leaving was not easy. I would make excuses for him but the veil was opened. To God be the glory
I am SOOO GLAD you have ADDRESSED THIS!!! IMPORTANT!!! Permission to LEAVE!! I know my "Christian values" KEPT me in a non-loving, totally neglectful, long-term marriage. He was non- Christian and I felt that that was my first major mistake. I believed in a traditional marriage.
Yes, my narcissistic mother uses the Christian gas lighting all the time. She told me a couple of days ago, “God’s word says to honor your father and mother PERIOD. It doesn’t say but don’t honor them if they’ve abused you.” Then she let me know that my son will be handling her estate. I hit her with a- Okay👍. Thank you ❤️
You can honor them. But once you are an adult, you obey God first. Do you obey your parents once you are an adult? Obey God. You can listen to parents' suggestions if they are godly-- if not, consider God's will for your life. Don't take abuse. It will be devastating.
*"The Gospel ACCORDING TO Matthew", chapter 10, Quote; 34. Think NOT that I am come to send PEACE on earth: I came NOT to send PEACE, but a SWORD... 35. For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law... 36. And a man's foes shall be they of his own household... 37. He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me... 38. And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me... 39. He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it. End Quote.*
17 years in a legalistic church. I stayed because I wanted to serve God and I felt if I left, I was leaving the church where I thought God wanted me to be. I have enough trauma and disappointment now to last me for years. I can’t tell you how disappointed I am of myself for allowing it
Forgive yourself.. you are already forgiven... We didn't know these demons were using those we loved and they are demons. JEZEBEL is the narcissist demon ...
Yes, me too! I was in a legalistic abusive church for about 7 years. I warned the pastor about my Ex and he still sided with my abusive Ex. When all was said and done he wrecked the church van and ran up a big bill on the land line phone with porn numbers. That's what they deserved for all the extra hell they put me through! God vindicated me! I forgive them but it's taken time also for other reasons.
FREE Toxic People Survival Guide
krisreece.com/toxic-people-survival-guide
Kris, is it biblical or okay in the eyes of God for the wife/woman to be the one to initiate the divorce? Or should she have the husband do it because he's the Head of the Household over her (in God's order of things)? And I'm referring to a marriage where the husband is the true narcissist.
Who ever wants the divorce should file and charge the husband to pay for the attorney if the women gave up her career to take care of his three kids .
A man who disrespects the female children and his wife by posting nude women or half dressed females ..shows great disrespect...he is a fruit cake.?
@@denise0777don’t forget, the Lord said to separate for a time of prayer. He doesn’t say how or where. Doesn’t mean one has to leave a bad marriage via divorce if you’re not willing to go that far. One shouldn’t keep the company of an angry man.
Kris thank you so much. You don’t know what a blessing you have been for me. Giving me the tools to deal with a narcissist boyfriend, which we’ve been married 3 times. I’ve always been so confused about what was going on with him. Now I know that he’s a narc. It has taken 3 divorces, so many time I’ve gone back because of the fact that he says he changed. Lol. Never happened. Thankfully this last time he came back, I wouldn’t marry him again because I know I can’t trust him and I don’t have any respect for him. I am complete in the Lord and understand what’s been happening to me for 18 years. Thanks again! Bless you! I will definitely listen to all your podcasts.
Sometimes Good wants us out of the way so he can deal with them head on.
@lynn-soooo true.!
I have never considered this….any way you can elaborate? Thanks
I will hold on to this as my adult children have been estranged for 4 years.
Brilliant!! Simply brilliant.
@@Kittiesinclair5 I have had to do this with two people in my life that were not trusting God to work things out and were overly dependent on me. I would say they were enmeshed. I pulled away back to create a situation where they had to walk their emotional dependence out with God instead of me. One of the situations turned out to be very successful. The other one caused the overly dependent person to run to another person who enabled the codependency even though this person complain to me about it later.
It is no coincidence I found you on this evening. I’m going through hell right now, I felt God spoke to me through you, thank you so much. God’s grace and peace be with you ❤ 🌷 🕊️
So many people are suffering these days. You are not alone. Church used to be a refuge from the world and for me, the one I was attending - it became so toxic that I have quit attending regularly-an extreme departure for one who cut her teeth on church pews. I’ve had to really beef up my personal prayer time & etc. But, when church begins to feel like a minefield & gives you PTSD episodes, it’s good to take a step back to get alone with God & heal.
I don’t know what personal hell you have been going through-but I wanted to share a shard of my own, to let you know you are not alone. I will be praying for you.
Stay strong, be brave and don’t give up until you get the help & support you need. Be your own best friend. Persevere. Do what you know is best for you, even if no one around you agrees or understands. Be your own best friend. Be kind & patient with yourself. Don’t allow guilt to keep you from taking care of yourself.
Amen
There is a misconception among Christians that divorce is a sin. When it comes to cyclical abuse, the abuser has abandoned the marriage by violating the word of God to cherish and love. The scriptures are replete about evil doers. Many Christian women and men suffer abuse because of the culture in the church.
Depart from evil for your sanity and ultimately your soul. For many it is their actual life. Many abused Christians have ended up dead with untold stories of abuse. They have developed chronic illness' etc.
God bless every inch of you! 🙌🏻🌺🙏🏻
Don't give up.u can visit churches or go to a community bible study..womens is fun.these good groups will let u feel unjudged and welcome with love of Jesus
28 yrs of covert/narc/porn/abuse…
I blamed myself over and over, prayed, fasted and counseling… I’m finally done and divorce is final in the next couple of days! The knot in my gut is finally gone and my body is finally feeling normal…I lived with the devil…
Holding you in my heart and prayers.
God’s grace, protection and peace be with you ❤
After 30 years of trying I am finally doing divorce .. I am sad at the fact that is over but also more happier than I have ever been.. no anxiety no walking on eggshells and most importantly not wanting to feel like I want to not live anymore.. I have a purpose to live now
Bless you God is so good pleased your free x x x
Thank you for sharing. For me it was 34 years of marriage. Finally separated, I could not believe how peaceful my house became, the knot in my stomache gone. Blessings to you from God who is faithful and true love always!
I hear you. The devil with in the sanctity of marriage is real.
39years marriage- now separated and healing with God
It is about time someone addresses this topic in the church.
Please someone should adress this because the pastors are the narcissisti. I encountered one
Yes finally
God is exposing
Yes no one knew wut I spoke about when i asked if i could get counseling for narristic abuse syndrome and it made me feel more crazy then ever.
This caused me to waste precious years of my kids and my life causing way too much damage.
Say it LOUD! 📣🔔
Am realizing that it’s things like these bad behaviors that the church condones why the Bible said that not everyone who says Lord, Lord will enter the Kingdom of God
Instead of talking about money all the time. Accountability needs to be addressed according to the word of God
WHENEVER SOMEONE BRINGS YOU CHAOS, ANXIETY, AND DESTRUCTION IT IS A VERY CLEAR SIGN FROM GOD THAT THE PERSON WAS SENT BY THE DEVIL AND NOT BY GOD. FOR GOD IS NOT THE AUTHOR OF CONFUSION. THE ONE HE HAS FOR YOU WILL BRING GREAT PEACE, JOY, AND SECURITY.
So true. Unfortunately I found out the hard way. 🙏😭
"Author of confusion" is important. Thank you for that reminder.
@@GodessQueenTila it's so true. In the church, it's the Pastors, Bishops who are peactising nacisistic behavior. I learned the hard way.
Maybe “the one” you need, is yourself.
@@allaboutmycats454 "THE ONE" YOU NEED IS JESUS. SELF-WORSHIP IS IDOLATRY. I FOLLOW JESUS AND ANYONE WHO HAS A PROBLEM WITH IT CAN KICK ROCKS.
I'm no longer responsible for changing this person.
@kelly -ecxellent !
And, you never were!
@@ChildoftheLIGHT amen!
I took a deep breath when I read this. It's something I have found needs constant re-inforcement.
Because they will never change.
It’s DONE! 🙏🏾 ( anyone who see and cares please pray for me) Thank you in advance! 🌻🌻🌻
God heal you from this bad relationship, I have been there. 🙏
Amen...praying for you...GODS STRENGTH be with you
Keep in Mind Jesus desires the Best for you. The question is do you? Bless you in the Lord! Col 1:10 😄
I thought I should be there because of my kids but it turned out to be a nightmare I could not imagine
Praying for peace
Most often we get in relationships that God never wanted us to enter into, then we ask God to bless and fix a mess we created and He warned us against! So we must always seek discernment in our decisions when seeking partners, friends and jobs! 🙏🏽
" Turn the other cheek"..has caused me years of abuse.
I know, same, wipe the dust off your feet. Don't throw your pearls to pigs.
Money comes in to it.
Sorry this happened to you. Turn the other cheek doesn't mean what we've been told. It has cultural significance. Some "religious" too. There's online studies over that verse...I don't wanna misquote, but it's eye opening...check it out.
We live in a toxic very lonely world. We stay in unhealthy relationships to avoid being alone, lonely, & unloved without realizing we are already living in this reality.
this is what my daughter tells me all the time.
It’s so true.
So true. He would only be with me in the public or on trips. Inside our home, he avoided me. I was so lonely. This began one week after we were married and continued for 8 years. I thought it was my fault for 5 years. It almost killed me mentally and emotionally.
true. I am close to God and my only friends, only true friends are furry and four-footed ones.
We are told to stay & tolerate it because they are our mom/family 🤮
It's too bad that so many of us wasted so many years being with someone God didn't want us to be with, but didn't/couldn't leave for whatever reason. A waste of years of our lives
No wasted years my friend. Only tested ones. Your messages are miraculous ma’am! Hard to digest- like God’s convicting words-keep listening-receiving, believing-THEN testifying. I’m almost there!!! No turning back!
Dear friend, I was married to what I eventually learned was a covert narcissist… for almost 50 yrs! I continually suffered… but desired to honor & obey God’s Word. I continually thought that if I was loving & gracious, & if we could patiently talk together sharing thoughts, then everything would be good. That never really happed… he didn’t really repent…. I don’t think….. And bigger issues came about. I also didn’t want to bring about destructive issues for my growing & maturing children & then many grandchildren.
Yes, this dear woman is very right about what she’s saying….. Interesting… bearing under abuse….that’s in my past…(& actually present but completely different circumstances).
However, my then spouse eventually became very sick, I cared for him for his last 12 yrs.
Thankfully, the years weren’t wasted… my children are strong but humble Christians with strong but humble spouses & grandchildren, growing in the LORD. Remember… Romans 8:28 “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God & are called according to His purposes.”
I’ve learned much in my old age… and trust the LORD. I’ve grown enormously spiritually.
so true. I feel that too...but I learned much...sadly the hard way.
Me too! Over 17 years in a legal binding agreement. It wasn't a biblical marriage. There was no oneness. I was used. And a year and a half legal battle, counseling, support groups and healing.
At age 65 & in very poor health, I can say it can waste your WHOLE LIFE!
Do NOT let that happen!!! Time passes & changes occur - like in your health - but situation does NOT get better. You may get used to it, but that isn't good enuff. If you stay anyway, whatever keeps you from being able to leave now, WILL get worse. And the toxic person lies in wait for that...knowing you can't do anything about it now, unleashes the worst in them. Do NOT stay so long that 1 day you wake up to find you CAN'T leave & live on your own!
I did it for 39 years. Grew up Catholic and divorce was a no no. My mother did it all her life. It's sickening I wished that something like this would have been available way back in 1977
He was bad from the beginning but I guess I had no self-esteem from the life I grew up in watching my mom neglected and abused. I went for the very same thing. And I stayed in it for way too long and for too many wrong reasons.. hey cornered me in the marriage with two children when I threatened to leave after a year. And then he let them go and get into so much it was so much heartache pain and suffering over the years and then of course a grandson came along that they were giving away like a dog. I couldn't let that happen so I fought for him and won raise him for 6 years. I was threatened I couldn't come to his graduation or many sporting events. Him he turned my two daughters that he didn't even want against me. I truly believe they tried to put me away and make me have a nervous breakdown. But God himself spoke and said it's time to go my grandson was bigger now and I didn't need to take any more suffering caused by him or them. He just passed away February 6th. And they got all his money. All the money I saved all those years for our retirement. I wished that this all would have happened many many years ago. I've suffered greatly emotionally mentally and in the end physically. The Catholic church and my mom were wrong in stating that you stay to who you are married to. I had no one to help me then and I have no one to help me now only God. But God is the best. He is my best friend my comforter my therapist My healer my everything. And even though it was my whole life I am glad that I found out before I died. That even family that you loved and did everything for will stab you in the back for selfishness and hate. I pray from the time I wake up to the time I go to bed. I thank God for the goodness he has given me in this totally chaotic craziness. Even I was caught in the web thinking that I was doing the right thing staying. But I was staying for all the wrong reasons. Thought that they loved me. Thought that they could never hurt me or that they never would. It's a sad world when your own family betrays you.God help us all. I only wish I would have known about narcissism and that there would have been programs like this back in the day😢❤
@@AureliaBergstedt I'm sorry for what you went through😢
Because women have been forced into subjugation for centuries and we finally widened up🙏
So true! The church was the most toxic resource for me. When my husband was emotionally, physically, and financially abusing me, I reached out to the church for help. He has isolated me from friends and family so church and a crisis hotline were my only resources. The church told me to stay and be a “good wife.” So I stayed and endured an additional year of him screaming, throwing things, drunk driving, him risking my life countless times. I did this all to please God (or so I thought). Then one day, I prayed to God begging for forgiveness and I filed for divorce. I ran away from home and hid out because my husband was going to be angry. I’m now free and divorce was finalized. God provided shelter, food, and a job for me. It made me feel like I may have made the right choice after all and He still loves me.❤ I wonder if I had listened to the church if I’d still have my life.
same
We have to be careful where we get advice, even in church. God is omnipotent, omniscient, merciful, loves us and loves justice. God knows us and our situation better than any one and He is our best advisor and advocate. God bless your journey with Him by your side!
I’m glad you left. I hope you left that church too
Amen !!
Always go to God first 🙏 he knows the whole situation and what's in their heart towards you.
GIVE THE NARCISSIST ONE SINGLE VERSE... BE NOT DECEIVED, God is not mocked,, what you sow you shall also reap.
but my ex narc would say “God is full of grace to forgive but you can’t forgive me” 🙄🙄
Yes anyone who sees this Please Pray for me!!
🙏
Praying for you!
It's done ✔️ I am peaceful when this man is not around me.
I'm looking for my way out; she dare not think I may be smarter than her.
@@marjoriedavies6364 Gosh me too!
It’s very heartbreaking when your narc husband (40 years married!) convinces your 3 adult daughters that HE is the victim. So I’m estranged from my daughters and also the 7 grandchildren. He’s divorcing me, telling everyone that he’s tired of my crap. The irony. I’ve gone through some unbelievable emotional suffering and yes, trauma, as a result of all the narcissistic’s classically horrendous behavior. Through counseling, I’m learning to change my mindset from grief and sorrow to thankfulness that he will be gone and I will finally be at peace. I am realizing that God is delivering me from evil. My husband will have to answer for his demonic-influenced choices.
🙏🙏🙏🌷🌷🌷
Keep trusting God will expose the truth trust me he will. Hang in there beautiful friend, I am praying for you . Restoration All the way 🙌🏾
Same to me but divorce is on the and God intervens for me.
It is done
I am sorry for your circumstances. Something like this happened to me. I will pray for you.
After 23 years I am filing for divorce 1 week from now. Thanks to your channel and help from a therapist who is well acquainted in trauma bonded relationships.
I feel you! I thought I was alone about taking 25 years to remove myself from my toxic abusive husband. May God grant us the strength and courage to go through this journey 🙏🙌🌹
I left my marriage of 16 years 8 months ago and have had a hard time total walking away because we have a 13 year old and He continues to manipulate me I am also about to sign divorce papers but am still very sad and angry about it I put so much into our marriage and now my cup is empty😢
Listening to Kris and therapists helped me get through my pain and anxiety. I’m recently divorced and free from the toxicity. We’re both Christian. He would throw Bible verses at me and shame me for leaving although he knew my health was declining due to stress from his ugly treatment towards me. Listening to Kris helped me to heal..all glory to God.
I take full accountability for my divorce. We have no children together. I drove by myself across the US back to my hometown and blocked all communication from him.
Wow i can relate. I'm 23 years and finally filing for Divorce as well. She just won't change. Got older amd meaner and more toxic. Ungrateful and argumentative for everything. Has no idea I'm finish. Can't see i stop the flow a long time ago. Too arrogant.
35 yr marriage. Cheating and lying the whole time. 3 kids grown and some grand kids. She won't give up control of finances of the business. I feel to old to start over. I'm 57.
After 50 years of mental and emotional abuse, I cut ties with my younger sister .
Never slept betterr , no regret , and reist mu Moms efforts to manipulate a reconciliation .
I have forgiven my sister ,but do mot qant hwr back in my life .
Forgiving soneone doesn't mean you are required to allow them back in your life - ever !
God does the work not us. He works on you. Walk away and let Him work on them. Trust Him. Spiritual battles are His not ours.
I have mentally let go my spouse. Even though he is in the home. No more praying for his protection, his deliverane. I pray for his humility and brokenness that he may repent and come to Christ. I have freed myself of guiding him so he will " See the light" It was never my position to begin with.
I focus on God, becoming closer to him.
He is left to his sin.
Myself too . Just started
I'm getting there
Like the Bible said, give him to Satan. Let him face where he is at and let the Lord manage him while you heal in God's presence. Bless you.
Me too.
I am now trying to do this. As well as praying for strength and a way out that wont put me my oldest kid and pets on the streets
It's never good to stay in an abusive relationship. Run away fast and never look back. He used our religion as spiritual abuse. He would use God as an excuse. A horrible person.
God will take care of the rest he always does .
After 33 years of an unhappy, toxic marriage, I’m finally getting the courage to walk away. I realize I can’t change him, but I can change myself by having enough self respect to leave!
Hola, hello beautiful world God Almighty bless all ❤️Thank u beyond words for these amazing videos thank u for shinning this Light ❤️🌈❤️
Also seeing the light after 30 years
In my case in is "her, not "him", all the same in the end.
❤
..i didn't respect him anymore. the longer i stayed the more i lost my self respect. i was losing me. my goodness. my faith,..you will come to resemble what/who you love. don't believe they will change. they won't because they lie!!!!!do not blame yourself. do not lose your dignity. forgiveness, walk away in forgiveness, hold on to your heart and soul. most times when its time to go, God will open a door of opportunity to get away permanently. don't go back for your own sanity and peace of mind will be at stake. 🕊🕊🕊
Thank you
Amen!
Strangest feeling is being sad and missing them but underneath all the emotions having peace I did the right thing.
Only God can change these people. It takes beyond fasting and prayer. It takes God Himself
I have a narc husband of 38 y and a 30 y old son with multiple special needs. Dear God please rescue me now. Amen
I understand exactly how hard it is to,,,,,,I been married to one 40 years and have two sons with mental health problems bipolar and narcissistic tendencies both and they’re adults one is gonna be 40 years and the other is 36 both males living with us and my mom which is a covert narcissist too is living with me for the past 13 years and is now 75 years old and getting worse with her narcissistic tendencies believe me I’m praying 🙏🏼 to God to save them and give me strength and feel me with his spirit because is really really draining me I have fibromyalgia and barely can sleep with all this people draining my energy but because God love and mercy I can live day by day and keep waiting for his coming to go home,,,,and my daughter is a narcissist too that all her live hate me and still keep coming home to visit just to bring more caos to all of us like we don’t have enough so I think knowing my life now you my think you have it a little bit easier than me I be praying for you and Jesus is coming very very soon I mean he is right up here just waiting for his Dad to say ,,,,, NOW amen
You GOT this momma !!! I believe in you !!!
Praying for you 😢
I am in the same situation
While you wait to hear from God, start to envision yourself being set free. Envision yourself living life in peace. Envision yourself enjoying nature. In the mighty name of Jesus Christ.
I’m no longer responsible for changing this person
You never were.
There was a period and I thought but if he is sick, maybe he is not responsible. He needs my help and support.
But eventually 1 Christian friend understood and told me : you have to let go of him. She was right. We can not fix them
Yes, realizing that we are not responsible for their sin and shameful things they do , carrying a burden trying to cover all the things they have done , but it's not mine.
I was far too nice to horrible people 😢 they don't charge and never stop. RUN as far as you can.
There are people who will not respect your boundaries and they keep crossing them, time to leave
I am no longer responsible for changing that person. I can only change myself.
Thank you. My father never allowed me to grieve even as a child. It was weakness to him. So when I cried because at q4 years old I lost my dog I had for 12 years. My father yelled at me and told me not to cry. Many times he looked down on me, criticized me and reminded me I was not his favorite child, older sister was. When my mother, best friend the one who led me to Christ, past, I was yelled at for crying, that was weak in his eyes. My dear sweet Christian mom past at the young age of 55. My father grew increasingly hurtful to me and my child. He disliked us and he showed his dislike of us. My sister, his favorite child, he said so, feed him with horrific stories of my family. She increasingly drove him to full on rejection. I constantly tried to get them to live me, accept me and oh how I wish cherished me as I cherished them . My father past in October, my sister inherited his home, land, Bank account life insurance, he made sure to leave nothing to me, my son his first grandchild. We all struggle with why? He would be proud as when he passed I didn't cry, or grieve. I was strong like he wanted me to be. I don't miss him. I feel a sense of relief, I no longer have to try to live up to someone's expectations. Thank you for allowing me to release this. You are the first Christian based self help advocate, that when I listened, I knew you understand. Amen and God bless
God came to me in dream and told me she has to go because she's evil, she's an envious narcissist
I understand, dealing with the same
I’m a slow learner & deceived 30 yr marriage. Adored me used me drained me cheated nonstop & arranged most all assets to keep for himself in his dishonesty… cutting my losses & running. Did I lose the beautiful destiny God had for me??? I’ve been swallowed up in a sink hole of darkness. At 68 do I let go of what he financially stole from me? Yes bc Heaven & being free from his darkness Is a win win. I was scared & thought if I prayed harder for him- yes NO Repentance!!!! Time to RUN!!!!!
Prayers please for clear road lit by God
How can you afford it? I feel stuck.
@@faithbelleg7465 I trying - at least he’s out but divorce dragging out bc of him- God will bring it to an end for all of us. Just have to go thru this imperfect system & But He will be our Advocate. Sometimes hard to hold on to that - but that is Truth. He Will make a way.
@faithbelleg7465 have you looked at all the benefits you qualified for after divorce?
I just ran him away from my life
I never ever want my ex-wife back! No way! She was the worst Narcissist person I ever discovered!
I clicked on this video by accident!
Currently fasting and preparing for separation next month.
While fasting, I did feel like God was revealing my partner in more ways! Since the fast started they have been ignoring me and we're in the same house! I have no idea why!
Wow! Again, God has affirmed it!
Go and do not look back!
Same with me going on 3 months of him ignoring me like I don’t exist in the same house. I think this is God giving us a way out. I filed for divorce after 17 years. God will restore our wasted years !❤️
It was right after a fast that God told me to get him out of my life too and I obeyed God ❤
I'm tired of being easily manipulated by selfish people
Pray for more decernmemt I have and thank God , these people come to try to take and destroy you by lies and manipulation trauma drama the list continues, you shall know them by their fruit too , you got to understand that it was. Test too or then in your life for a season of the reason , you don't have to put up with not being treated right or disrespected from anyone
Same
I'm a magnet for mean people too it started in the third grade. I was bullied 😢
I so needed to hear this message today, thank you Lord Jesus Christ for loving me. It’s been a tough couple of months but I know with God’s love I will get through! Thank you Kris, God bless you x 🙏🏽✝️🕊
I’ve been trapped by toxic narcissist family all my life until the last few years. Im 46 years old now. As a scapegoat that always told the truth, I became a target. I’m also a Christian that has tried to show them grace over and over again. I was under the illusion I had to put up with it until I started reading my Bible and seeing how Jesus dealt with people like them. He walked away. So that’s what I did and feel like I can finally heal and live the life Jesus wants me to live.
Exactly 💯 Jesus is our supreme example! He set the self righteous Pharisees off and also told us not to cast our pearls before swine pigs who don't deserve them!
Jesus set them straight then sent them on their way!
I was literally shell shocked for the first year and a half of it. It was one of the hardest thing God ever went through me with
It’s so true…believed I had no choice but to stay in toxic relationship to not disobey God.
😢
Conditioning at its finest , to be condemned is not From the Lord Jesus Christ.its in the bible
@theintactsoundspr, You have the wrong belief, if that’s what you believed. I know, because, I use to have that “False” belief also 😢, 16 years in an abusive relationship! I had to finally leave, to literally save my life and my sanity! It has been over a year now, I am a Christian and a believer, have been most of my life. I Gave up my Toxic partner and relationship to God, just laid it down at the cross, and walked away! Had to basically start my life all over again, financially, at the age of 64 yrs old 😮, but, with prayers and my Faithful God 🙏 , along with my loving Family, who took me in, I am so grateful and finally at peace! 😊. I quickly learned, that staying in a relationship with someone who doesn’t care, and has No Love or Respect for you, is NOT honoring God, and God does Not want us to live like that, Ever! Honor God, and do yourself a great favor, if you haven’t already, LEAVE! GO! Get out and away from this person/environment as quickly as possible ! You’ll Thank God, and you’ll be glad you did! I am praying for You 🙏 and all the other souls, unfortunate enough to have experienced a Narc’s destruction, as we have! And, Thank GOD for this platform and these videos ! 💞
I packed me and the kids up while he was at work in November. I have had a great peace for 5 months. Not strong enough to file for divorce yet but it’s coming. I’m learning boundaries now but we still have to coparent. Pray for me please. IT IS DONE 😊
Praying!! Pray for me too please!!
@@sherricharles81499 months out and I am feeling so grateful to be where I am. Still haven’t officially filed for divorce but I have the paperwork. Just praying for strength to actually do it. I have too!
@@sherricharles8149praying for you also ❤
I'd rather deal with the fallout of leaving than continuing to deal with the narc.
Yes… me too, there comes a time when enough’s enough.
The reason I don’t give up on anyone is because God never gave up on me. No matter what sins I’ve committed in the past. But I understand now God works everything His Way
Soooo true.... I agreed 💯
I wish you could do a video on how the children are affected and what you can do to help your children. My husband passed away when my son turned 11 yrs old and I have been battling way worse behavior in my son because of what he learned from his dad. Please pray for us.
I am on a separation and am dealing with learned behaviors in my kids. It's awful. Let me know if you found any videos about this topic, please. Prayers for you and your son.
This is the first time I’ve said it….”it’s done”.
The last time I talked to my adopted Narc mother, I caught myself saying, "I'm done.", "I'm done." She had no idea it was her that I was "done" with... it's been over 5 yrs now. I'm so glad I took leave of her toxicity and so much more!
I always became afraid of getting out, feeling like I will be the looser for 18 years but I'm still trying.please people pray for me.
I’m truly ✨blessed that I found you‼️ Thank you for your videos, podcast & the awesome freebies. 🙏🏻
Yes, it has been.
I have been married to a narcissist for 18 years.
She cheated on me 6 years ago, I almost left her, but she had me in an impossible situation, and we had 3 young kids. I felt the biblical mandate to try and stick it out because “God hates divorce”
Today those kids are not as young, and I have seen her for what she is, I am filling for divorce.
Praying for my kids through this
Thank you Kris! Your videos are SOOO helpful. I’ve been married to a covert narcissist for 26 long years. I filed for divorce 2 weeks ago. I literally would have stayed stuck in hell without your help. I can’t thank you enough! ❤️❤️❤️
I tried my whole life to tolerate my father’s toxicity and to show him the love of God. I DID walk away and I paid the price of leaving all financial benefits and being misunderstood by the family. It took every ounce of courage but no regrets.
Thanks very much for this comment, I'm going through what you went through and you just gave me the courage to walk away.
I have to di this too..but all toxic whole family everyone bezrayed me
Peace is priceless, a gift money cannot buy.
I dealt with a verbally abusive father. Otherwise good, except for this major caveat. One who would just shoot off abusive words nonstop whenever slightly triggered, or he felt like doing so without any real reason.
I truly feel you. 🙏🏽
I can't change my mom and she's impossible to get along with. Always starting strife and discord in the family. Lies like the Devil. I'm walking 🚶♂️
Amen! Grew up in the 50’s & 60’s. Most people were Trustworthy. This culture shock is wrecking society. Now I Distrust First (Wary) then move slowly through the possibility of a friend. Love to all and remember to say your prayers. Jesus Loves You.
It's done! I am no longer feeling responsible for changing this person. Thank God for deliverance!
It’s done I’m no longer responsible for changing that person.
It's not your job
It’s so hard when it’s your adult abusive child.
Same here:-( my two children are….I have a severe medical depression because of this….
@@Calico-D yes I have 3 daughters and 1sil who are various narcs. They are no contact when we confronted them about their behaviors. We were always the ones who went to them to make peace, ask them what we did wrong....they never have done so for us. All we want is a Godly relationship and told them this. This is when they came out against us and blamed us for a life long toxicity.
WOW!! THANK YOU for this. “ there is a difference between troubled souls and toxic influences “. This has been the most difficult subject of my walk with the Lord. We are taught to love and forgive every one yet seldom taught to discern and walk away from toxic people. Jesus stepped away from some. This is so helpful and I thank you for clarifying the differences. We can always keep people in prayer but we don’t have to be around them. Boundaries! To protect your heart!
This one comment had helped me more than you can know! God is good!
The serenity prayer clearly delineates that I need to accept what I cannot change, i.e., anyone else; that I need courage to change what I can change, i.e. myself; and wisdom for seeing which is which.
This is too good no dumpster diving💃🏻❤️🙌
I wish I had this understanding decades ago. After 55 years of abuse from the family of origin and 25 years of an abusive toxic marriage (the ex filed), I realized it was never my responsibility to change them nor put up with their abuse
WOW, those are the words Holy Spirit has been saying to me Let them go.
But you have added to my knowledge. Turn them over to their desire so repentance will come. So so good.
often they are brought into our lives as a blessing. They taught me self love and boundaries...bless your enemies...they change you
Great point.❤
My last relationship I learned alot. It made me better. I never knew how selfish and toxic I was in the relationship until the relationship was over. I saw my faults and never want to repeat them.
Yesss that was me! So I finally left 🙏🏼 all my children’s and family happy I made that move! I have been praying over my marriage and I want to make sure I’m doing the right thing for my marriage! But I couldn’t keep leaving like this! 18 years of marriage and I finally see that this is a abusived relationship! I’m in peace with myself, Thank You Jesus! ❤❤❤❤
I am no longer responsible for changing that person, I am only responsible for changing myself and making myself worth with my God .
Amen, put of the full armor of God in all matters. He is faithful to accomplish His perfect will in our lives.
Going through this rn. I'm praying God shows me what to do & gives me wisdom. We have 2 beautiful babies and it makes it so much harder. Please pray for me.❤
🙏🙏🙏
Please pray for me. I am scared. I am a mother of triplets and have one that is special needs...I have no family or support im an only child and my mother is deceased. His family is extremely toxic and they are all alcoholics and I have no support.I want to literally pack my van and move us away. Please pray for me and my babies 🙏😢
@@SommerSorensenthe best thing you can do is leave where he can't find you while the babies are little. Once they turn 3 and up they can pick up the bad habits!!! God Bless you and I know He will help you find a good church where they really care and don't judge.
My mother and all my siblings have continued to try to destroy my self love. Please lord help❤❤❤
Ur not alone ❤️
I recently removed all responsibility for my wifes quarrelsome, narcissistic, crappy behavior and give her to God to contend with. Three decades is too long to live with someone void of healthy coping akills and incapable of being on fire for the word of God and showing this in her marriage. I pray for her salvation and i pray she gets to know God how i know him but im done as it stands....
I like when you say don’t hear what I’m not saying, I instantly hear: let those who have ears hear . It’s a reminder don’t misinterpret what God is saying pray for wisdom so I love that
Step back has given me back my life. Your video is so timely. I had bad influences because I didn't want to lose the history instead of how drained I was in the present. I let go and embraced my precious time.
Toxic people are like vampires and the bite puts poison in your system that has to be cleansed and healed. It's really not bringing out the worst in you it's exposing you to the worst in them and draining your best. This is great information and I've run into the endure at all costs perspective and in my heart I know that God is love not torture.
HUGE amount of gaslighting!!! But get this...after the extreme onslaught of bullying, shaming, alienation from my sons, I fought tooth and nail to get away from the ex. He had the church, friends, and family calling and coming by to let me know I needed to obey God and stay with him. I was in danger of hell if I didn't. I cut them all off. Most of these people ended up leaving their spouses for others, and divorcing, including the pastor! I will not subject myself to other people's demands anymore, nor do I think that they are special or above me just because they have a function and/or title that would have caused me to listen and do what they told me I should do. They are mere humans just like me.
The church protects these men-pasors,married men and women also.
My mother is a covert narcisst😊
I was in a legalistic hypocritic church like that when I separated from my ex. I warned them and they still let him drive the church van and he cheated on me with one of the women he drove home last after dropping all of the rest of us first! Then, he ran up the church land line phone with porn numbers! Serves them right for not listening to me! 😂
God gives us all we need to deal with all difficult times in life including the most difficult people, those people can actually bring us closer to God allowing us rebuild our minds, hearts and souls which are more in alignment with our true selves. We dont have to fear bad people, we dont have to fight, just be silent and watch God bless u with his peace, love and light❤❤
It's done. Ready. This was perfect timing.
No progress after 20yrs of Narcissistic Abuse,it literally got worst😫😫No contact was so peaceful it was unbelievable,I was so use to disfunction didn’t know peace felt so good.I’m thankful I found your channel and others to help me through this difficult time🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
I just booted out my ex user abuser alcoholic narc and I feel great! Sooooo peaceful and relaxing I love it! I'm never looking back!
I have actually been physically sick being with this man who I believe may be possessed.
Is this the reason it has been difficult to walk away.
I really do need to take a step back. I have noticed I am getting critical towards him. This has been after hours of trying to have a conversation and no response.
Yes, he will not ever say anything about being wrong about anything. I have found myself apologizing before almost every conversation.
I have been sad and confused. Please pray for me & needing a release 😥
You can do it , I believe it
Your response should be, " Excuse me, but I'm not apologizing for anything that I haven't done. "
Walk away , otherwise you'll regret it too late in life.😔
My 50-year-old son is a narcissist of the worst kind and lives with me doesn't have a job, no place to live and it's hard for me to have him evicted. This is absolute hell.
Wonder if his mum overindulged him or was not emotionally available
Goodness that has to be tough. Pray in tongues, that does miracles for me.
I should have made my daughter leave sooner! She finally left when she was 39. I paid more than enough penance trying to help her! Once they're 18 they have no excuses unless they have disabilities!
@@deborahgarcia7548 I have lived in many other countries. Most are family-oriented and kids live with their parents for long periods of time. Only in America is the culture to boot them out at 18. I prefer the other countries'way of life. I prefer the family living together if they want to, no stigma at all. It's when they hate and abuse you do I say it's not good.
No go to the courthouse get the paperwork going started when it's finished have him served and he gets out of your house even if it's a police on escort that's has to be involved
We have to be forgiving, even when we walk away. I totally agree. Amen.
I'm not even so much as talking about any specific thing in life, I'm just talking about healing from life, I actually died Oct 23 of 2020 and had an experience that totally shell shocked me for almost 2 years and I'm just now really with God starting to get over it
I can't thank you enough for your platform. This is a God incident . To see this from a biblical prospective is such a gift
Absolutely, all things are possible with God
Amen 🙏🏼
I have set strong boundaries and have worked on self care but I have not seen him make amends for the financially devastating situation he has continued to pursue. It is not safe and is very emotionally damaging to me. I need to protect my health and start re-building my life. I have recognized that he has a very destructive tendencies and patterns that he continually repeats. I have wisened up and am starting to demand respect. I am so thankful that God has shown me the truth and has given me many resources such as your podcasts and other Christian podcasts. I am not His Savior!
God showed me in the midst of being provoked over and over by a narcissist husband that i still had some anger in me. So i had to repent and ask God to heal and deliver me from anger and He did and still working in me.
My comment has passed. God worked it out because I kept saying I would never ever leave. But now how do I heal from 8 miserable years of living with this person. I never even knew this kind of a human being existed. Thank you.
Thank you so much Lord have Kris speaking to me. Thank you removed me out of my 16 years abusive and toxic marriage. Yes I am not responsible for my Covert Nac. Husband's bad behavior. I am done. I am moving on to my new life . Keeping my eyes and Joyce to my Jesus. Please praying God will stopping husband fights with my house.
Thank you so much Kris for your Biblical teaching. God bless you and your teaching.
Nahum chapter 1 verses 11thru 15.Walking papers!was on my knees begging for deliverance.Cold opened my bible and here is my promise,"the wicked shall no more pass through thee;he is uterlly cut off."Thanku Father for your deliverance!Even though I didnt see it happen immediatly ,I chose to believe I had it in my hand already
I am a pastor and a missionary to Africa, and it’s hard as it is to walk away I’m walking away from my toxic mother that has hurt me, and My children, I found out things that I knew nothing about, and I have to walk away to feel peace in my life even though it’s difficult, I’ve had so many leaders in the church to tell me that I’m doing right by walking away and that’s what I’m doing but at this time I’m just praying for peace be steel over me and my children. Thank you for sharing. This is much needed for me and my family. I’m sharing it with my children. Thank you so very much. God bless you woman of God amen.
Sondra, I too am a missionary. I had to walk away from my mom. And siblings. It was all too much. It was constant hurt and constant agony. I tried for decades, but in the end they did something that broke me. God said, you're done. No contact. You're done. They didn't love me. They only used me as a scapegoat. I had no worth other than that to them. Hard pill to swallow but I did.
Today, I will let go of the thought that I can change my spouse. Thank you for sharing your knowledge. I am so glad that I have found this channel. God Bless
It's done. I am no longer responsible for changing this person.
My divorce is finalized three weeks ago and I keep finding out more and more about my now EX husband. I no God protected me I have no doubt that God shielded me. I just can't stop thinking about him and why he came into my life acting so holy and churchy a deacon in church only to dog me cheating stealing Abandoned me .I want to heal stop being mad at him .I took my valves truly! Jesus heal me to move on Iam 😫 tired
It takes time to heal. Read and meditate on the Psalms. If you're able to read 5 Psalms a day and in a month you will be done with the whole book of Psalms. They're very healing! Also, read 1 Proverb a day. 1 for everyday of the month.
@deborahgarcia7548 thank you I will start ready now
@@joyhayes7299 Hope all is well. 💚👣🌿 Congratulations. 🎉
I am no longer responsible for changing this person. It is done. And yes Amen Lord
You are so right that once we get away we can see more clearly just how bad it was, far worse than we realized. Even if the only thing wrong is that these people are arrogant and self-righteous judging everything in those they don't like when they don't know the details and when the person they judge is not sinning but just different from them. Those who tell the truth of God's Word are hated by those who think they are special and deserve heaven when all the fruit of the Spirit is missing in them. The flesh is aroused to defend ourselves or fight with those who provoke, it is best to learn silence when around them and avoid them whenever possible.
I am so excited for my new life. Its been 14yrs. I am so proud of healing my soul and partnering with Jesus because leaving was not easy. I would make excuses for him but the veil was opened. To God be the glory
I am SOOO GLAD you have ADDRESSED THIS!!! IMPORTANT!!! Permission to LEAVE!! I know my "Christian values" KEPT me in a non-loving, totally neglectful, long-term marriage. He was non- Christian and I felt that that was my first major mistake. I believed in a traditional marriage.
Yes, my narcissistic mother uses the Christian gas lighting all the time. She told me a couple of days ago, “God’s word says to honor your father and mother PERIOD. It doesn’t say but don’t honor them if they’ve abused you.” Then she let me know that my son will be handling her estate. I hit her with a- Okay👍. Thank you ❤️
My brother tried that with me about my abusive mom....I replied "The Bible also says Parents do not exasperate your children"
You can honor them. But once you are an adult, you obey God first. Do you obey your parents once you are an adult? Obey God. You can listen to parents' suggestions if they are godly-- if not, consider God's will for your life. Don't take abuse. It will be devastating.
The Bible also says don’t provoke your children to anger.
@@Victoriousandbraveadult children can be "provoked" by telling the truth or not tolerating and confronting their hateful behavior.
@@trekster7777 correct.
God is a God of peace and restoration!
*"The Gospel ACCORDING TO Matthew", chapter 10, Quote; 34. Think NOT that I am come to send PEACE on earth: I came NOT to send PEACE, but a SWORD... 35. For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law... 36. And a man's foes shall be they of his own household... 37. He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me... 38. And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me... 39. He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it. End Quote.*
17 years in a legalistic church. I stayed because I wanted to serve God and I felt if I left, I was leaving the church where I thought God wanted me to be. I have enough trauma and disappointment now to last me for years. I can’t tell you how disappointed I am of myself for allowing it
Forgive yourself.. you are already forgiven... We didn't know these demons were using those we loved and they are demons. JEZEBEL is the narcissist demon ...
Yes, me too! I was in a legalistic abusive church for about 7 years. I warned the pastor about my Ex and he still sided with my abusive Ex. When all was said and done he wrecked the church van and ran up a big bill on the land line phone with porn numbers. That's what they deserved for all the extra hell they put me through! God vindicated me! I forgive them but it's taken time also for other reasons.
I've had enough of abuse. There's Karma. JUDGMENT FROM OUR LORD
I am finally able to walk away from this evil nightmare. I agree … I miss what I hoped could have been but could never ever become. I DO NOT MISS HIM