I literally thought it was my fault for years😢 So I really stepped up my game. He said I was bad at communication, so I became good at that (Charisma on Command). He said I was to hormonal or irrational. So I became very rational and highly analytical. He said that I was sexually unattractive because I was fat. So I lost weight. In the end he started accusing me of blaming him because I confronted him that he could be a narcissist. But yet I'm practicing Jocko's self ownership and am also really trying to live like the book of James on the bible. He bragged that he's never changed and was consistent our entire relationship. Well, all my efforts to be a good and healthy spouse and person ended showing me that I wasn't in a healthy relationship. At the end of the relationship, I tried to talk with him about this but he refuses to listen. So it is what it is. I'm healthy now atleast. Feel bad for him though. He only trusts himself.:/
They want to fight. They want to be angry. They have a choice just like everyone has a choice but they choose hate, anger, jealousy, lack of forgiveness, pride, lies, etc etc
Yep! They do this not only because they are angry but because they need to self regulate to bring them down from the anxious critical state they are always in. That is one of the main operational cyclical traits that makes them a narcissist in the first place. Let them live in their world forget what they say and please God alone. I've experienced so much power in this. No need to try to soothe or please a dysfunctional delusional person because you never can.
You have been such a blessing to me Kris! I am an only child with a widowed elderly ill narcissistic mother. I have learned at 63 years old to set boundaries. I continually practice. It doesn’t feel good. I know this is normal. With the Lord’s help I will endure the race. Blessings my friend!
I love it too and not to be the person who says "But". But there are children being mollested and murdered and it does not stop. As much as we pray and hope they are still out there. Mine died and was never stopped.
I don't think Jesus will fix them, as narcassist seem to be those turned over by God to a reprobate mind and highly likely unable to turn around. Like the last breath, it's a breath, but it's the last.
When is the narc. not upset, that is the question. They step over your clear boundaries and find fault with everything you do, and refuses to live in peace and they enjoy doing the thing that bother you. They are insane. 🇨🇦
The sweetest Christian learnings from dealing with narcissists are the ultimate wisdom of: NO RETALIATION, NO REVENGE, holding fast to what is true, politely and firmly standing up for what is right (righteousness) and focussing on pleasing God, over man.
I spoke my peace with the narc in the church. She contintued to be coy and snarky. I told one female church leader, and she acted like I was the one with the problem because the narc manipulated her.
It's Sunday, April 30/ 2023 9:59 am. Thank you for the great words of wisdom. Very refreshing and edifying to hear counseling based on foundation of biblical truth. Jesuschrist truly is the only way. The verse you quoted where Jesus asked the apostles, "do you also want to leave? and Peter responded ,"where can we go, master, only you have words of life.". Those are the most powerful words I've ever heard in my life. God bless and continue using you for His glory.". You truly have the gift of word of knowledge. I get chills all over just quoting that verse to myself. Thank you
30 yrs married to maybe worse than a narcissist, possibly a psychopath. Years of banging my head in to the wall trying to figure out how to fix things, I learned a lot of your topics discussed on my own. Of course when I started to discover I had been living a lie with a person that didn’t exist because his reality wasn’t reality, he walked out stating, it was all My fault. I went thru a horrendous divorce, where he tried to turn every one I loved against me, I lost virtually everything while he successfully played the victim but 3 yrs post him exiting my life I found this was the greatest gift that truly was a blessing form my Lord because now I’m not having the life sucked out of me and I can be a light and witness for the greatness of my savior Jesus Christ.
Oh my goodness, I could have written your post!! My marriage lasted 20 years, not 30, but almost identical. He went to every one of my family members, one by one (and I have a huge family), dressed in wrinkled shirts and slacks with a hang-dog, poor me countenance, and told them he wanted to make the marriage work but I refused to go to counseling with him and was divorcing him, despite the fact that he'd been having an affair for two years with the woman he married a month after the divorce was final. But this was all 31 years ago, and sad to admit, it took me many years to "untether" myself from his manipulation and control. Back then, there wasn't much help available, thankfully we've become much more wise to these sorts of scoundrels. God bless you Vicki!
As long as I do what my sister wants, everything is fine, the moment I say no or get mad at her behavior towards me, I’m blamed and then I become the target of her sadistic ways and stalking. Jesus knows I’m tired and I want to do better.
Narcissism is called, "Insolent Pride," in the Bible. To say someone is Narcissist is the same as saying they're demon possessed. It's a repeating pattern of behaviors and manipulations that are based on negative energy..
@@justice8563 I understand, and feel like you but we cant feel sorry for ourselves and beat our heads against a brick wall. We are only waisting our time and theirs when we continue to feed them with what they expect of us all the time.Our energy will be totaly drained. We just have to trust and leave them with God and and move on.
🤯 that's THE WAR , they are trying to TELL you about you that is wrong , horrible and crazy and you (us/we) explaining what really happened and how it ade you feel 🤔 that is it APPEASE THEM or Please THE MOST HIGH
After 50 years of marriage, I now realize how toxic it is , has always been. I praise God for the internet and sharing of facts like this, chanels of ordinary people sharing their story, of brave ppl who have left the toxicity behind and started afresh life. I knew something wasn't right , so, being proactive tried to fix me. That just made it worse. I have come to the place of cautious acceptance, hubs has to have his own way all the time. I'm 68 now , I know God directs my path. But I want out, I'm worth more than this.I'm no ones servant or slave. But like Queen Esther, I was born for such a time as this. Like her I am scared , my prayer is and has always been, Lord give me courage, make me strong. He will , and the word says, He will never leave me or forsake me, in Him I can put my trust. God bless you all xx ❤
You are never too old for peace! I left my second marriage with an abusive man in 2015 and I am 76 now! It hasn’t been easy but God will not fail you! You do your work and He will be God! ❤
Suzi work on boundries, I started by telling him he needs to quit telling me how I am and how I feel..then I gave a consequence, like I will get up and leave the room. And each time...I would get up and leave the room. Also, when he is doing something unacceptable..I would say...knock it off (Sean). Then say...Just the facts, only the facts. Keep watching Kris she has helped me a lot!!! 😊
You were speaking to me directly. I was married to a Narcissist for 33 years and life became exhausting. I was always trying to make things right all the time. Being divorced for a few years now, I have realized how beautiful life can be. I am relaxed, happy, and finally enjoying my life and what I do.
Can you please tell me how you finally made up your mind to leave? I'm now facing the same dilemma. Married 33 years August coming, and today I told him I can't do it anymore. I'm so drained and angry at myself for staying in this toxic marriage for so long...Hoping he would change.
When I realized that my anguish was preventing me from reading my scriptures and feeding my soul, I chose to go no contact. I've never been so fulfilled!!!
Definitely, the enemy’s plan! I rejoice with you in your freedom in the Lord!!! Please pray that I don’t let my STBX derail my priorities With his selfish ambitions!❤️
“I don’t want evil to be seen in me cus you brought it out of me. I don’t even want the evil in me”. Most powerful statement I’ve heard in a while. God is most certainly working through you and he wanted me to see this today. 🙏🏼
I let my narc know i was praying all soul ties with him were being completely broken and the effects of his toxicity would be null. The next night i had a dream that he was grabbing at my heels and turned into a green demon with ugly claws. He began shriveling up as his claws were forced away through people's prayers. The next day i told him my dream and my pastor had him removed from my home. I let him know he was powerless over me. This was my key to freedom.
I left narc husband 3 years ago, the Lord provided all my needs and has replenished what the Locust ate up. I feel like my children and I are now living in the promise land flowing with milk and honey. It was very hard to get out but well worth it once out the fog lifts and my only regrets is that I didn't leave sooner.
i don't know what to do with my boyfriend qho lead me to soberiety but it seems like he only want me as a finanial relationship soon as i cant put money on his books he is acting like im nothing
I have dealt with narcissists most of my life and didn't realize it. I always thought I was doing or saying something wrong. I am still healing from the many battle scars but through the grace of God and the blood of Jesus Christ, I am able to walk with my head held high, knowing that I don't walk alone. Thank you for loving me Jesus.
My first husband ( in the 70s) was just like my mother. Emotionally unstable, selfish, stifling. Some years later, I asked Heavenly Father to send me the man He wanted me to have. We have been married 40 years. 🙏🏼❤️
Here here…I’m almost 59. My mother was chronic alcoholic. I don’t know if she was narcissistic, but most def, self absorbed, self only focused, vain, negative gossiped about everyone else-Constantly. She plotted her 4daughters against each other. I’d distanced myself from her for over a year, then she became terminally ill and my sisters smeared me for what THEY said I’d abandoned mom; so when mom did nothing to reach out to me, to love me…I LOVED HER. I visited her in the hospital then was there 24/7 for twelve days of hospice. It was so depressing. I felt the persecution. One of my sisters, one yr younger than me is a “disciple of Christ”, her words> “ I’m a real Christian, and YOU are not, so I will baptize mom, and I will call upon the Holy Spirit”. Well,,,,hmmm I consider myself a truly devoted follower of Christ for over 40years.. my sister is in a cult😢…so I stuck thru hospice, nonstop praying for and with my mom. She did confess her sin, and finally admitted it’s been her selfish ways her entire life, that Jesus died for……w/all that said…I’ve got my 40years anniversary coming up next November….all because my mother abandoned me @16yrs old, I met my husband(@18). My rejection and abandonment by her actually protected me. Thank you Lord, you are so good!!!!
@@1timeslime971 I hear you. Because I trust God, I know there is a reason for everything. Difficulties make us stronger, and we can walk away from selfish people. God Bless you. 🙏🏼🤍🕊
Married to a narcissist for 25 years and discovered it just 5 years ago. Thank God I am still standing and not separating home with him, but the boundary is clear and everything I've unloaded at the foot of the cross. Life is no longer a struggle since I focus my eyes on Jesus. My joy no longer depends on outside circumstances but. looking forward to hope of glory and for the moment doing the Lord's work and will, everyday that I'm still living here.
I just read your comment and I have been married to a narc for over 36yrs and like you didn’t separate but by God’s grace and mercy. I am growing in Him and set boundaries. We can grow in The Lord as we live with the narc. Thanks for sharing
Best n most healthy decision I made was to divorce crazy. I am happy n serve the Lord. It is precious to have my life n not worry about surviving. So glad I am out. People see me as happy n great to be around using my life n energy in gratefulness for Jesus.
You had me at: "The narcissist is upset with you -again." Thank you. Watching this calmed that anxiety, I even laughed, ty! Will look into the Codependency Course. Ty for making it not cost a fortune. Blessings to you and your staff. Nani
They will deliberately not admit to or acknowledge your point of view and they get high watching you try to convince them because they already know its never happening. Better to accept what they do, make up your mind about the truth and stop feeding into or trying to get acknowkedgement from them. If you want to be free, just let then do their own thing, dont get involved, keep your answers short, practical and pleasant, and you concentrate on yourself instead of them. Do this privately otherwise theyll use it against you.
@@livvyo2123 Hi Livvy this is so true. I try to bring something up. They don't care to discuss or to correct something. They do it on purpose to make you angry . They are pure evil. I could say so much of the hurt I have felt because they totally disregard you. Their actions are only to break you. They did for a while. But now putting my trust in God has helped me with my anxiety. My whole family are narcs. My mother is the matriac narc and she protects and enables my older brother who is just like her and his children also. So disfunctional. They are so fake and I can't stand their lies and putting everything under the carpet. Nothing gets resolved. I am so lucky I am who I am with Christ.
I think the saddest part of realizing I’ve been married to a narcissist for 50 years is that there’s bo one to grow old together. He’s oblivious to showing a healthy love and I’m alone in a marriage.
I am in the same situation very little in common as we age, and really not even a friendship. It's so very sad especially when we know how it could have possibly been with someone normal.
Yes. I so agee with u all. I get really sad when i think about giving the best yrs of my life to this sick pitiful demented excuse of a human.he has lived his life and sucked the life out of .y existence. These people are emotional vampires.
I choose to trust God!!!!!! 35 yrs w a narcissist, i gave it all to God…. PLEASE get out of that relationship, it destroyed me and my sons, my sons are gone at 29 ( my oldest son) and my youngest son was 33 in a motorcycle accident last year… no relationship is worth the pain and anguish while he stood behind God the entire time,
Silence treatment is also soul-eating @Dalenemarie, it's that anger bottled up, not knowing why and how to release it and constant silence...at all times...until THEY feel defused again...to poke and talk.
I’m in a relationship that’s exactly like this. I played the game for 15 years. I’m now in observing mode. His behavior this week is just like what you’ve described. I will not engage in his stonewalling anymore but inside I’m full of unhealthy thoughts I’m staying for financial & for my 15yr old son. It’s such an awful relationship. Thanks for these tools. He’s a “good guy” & serves the church & community but to me it’s polar opposite. I am almost 50. I’ve been in this relationship for 26yrs. I’m want out I want peace but the stress of divorce will crush my son. I’m gonna wait it out for a few more years during that time I’m working on me & raising my son & focusing on God. I do not engage in his manipulation anymore. I’m so proud of my growth looking to build my relationship with God. I needed this survival guide thank you!
@@Jesus_is_Lord_7 Praying for you to be able to create your plans to leave. Once you set the intention look for the avenues to make your plan a reality. Help is out there; programs that offer shelter, monies and transportation to help a woman restart. Please seek them out for this journey ahead- God Bless You 💕
You ARE NOT ALONE. I'm also staying married to mine, but we have an adult daughter that we care for. Now I alone care fo rher, and he's going to work and live in a different state. I've put in 33 yrs, and I'm not formally divorcing for financial reasons also. HE knows the marriage is OVER- he already gave me his wedding ring.!?!) I'm starting to get in touch with the emotions of being in a prison for so long, and not even realizing it. God Bless and Protect you as you stay and raise your son, and observe!
I feel I am surrounded by these toxic people, and every single one steals my stuff. This stuff does do damage to you. I let down, staying in the word and praying. I was playing the crazy game. One of these people is my daughter. It is hard, but I'm not willing to live my life this way forever. I'm staying in prayer, the word, and watching biblical information or sermons. I'm trying to understand what I can do to stay away from this toxicity. Thanks Kris
Thank you. I came home feeling not believed by those around me because of the lies my husband said about me having an imagination about all he does. I cried to the Lord as to what to do. I opened You Tube and heard this message from you. Everything you say here is exactly what I am going through. I have taken back my confidence and will just walk away rather than trying to prove him and them wrong. I shall let God fight my battles. I am a God fearing Christian and will not fear man. Jesus is king of my heart. Thank you for being a blessing to me. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I'm in the process of divorcing a narcissist husband. Thank u Kris....for the truth and encouragement. Nice to find a Christian perspective! I'm crawling thru the mud to escape but step by step God is cleaning my life. I believed I've finally learned the lesson....you tonight gave me a peace that I'm finally on the right road....to peace, and joy, and trust in Jesus. I will continue to ask God to take my fear and worry of this mean man who I pity and pray for....but he no longer rules my life.
Yes, I am a Narcisist victim-a friend. She is manipulative, I don't know about a Narcisist, she really destroyed my Peace, only now that I know them thru you. They are sick & pathetic. God bless you for sharing.🙌🙏
When your mom is the narcissist and the only 'present' parent person you have. Smh. Thank you Jesus that God IS both mother and father and loves me so much.
In the end of this video, the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard, was that part about, “ The most precious time with God spent and if it took me in a relationship like that to bring me in that relationship with God then I wouldn’t have traded it for the world!”. Just moves me to a peaceful place. As I have said this in my healing/recovery provess, written about this and it seemed to be disregarded by family or even therapist. I feel a sense of joy right now as this is the first moment I have heard my precise outlook and my truth. Thank You. ❤
These videos and comment sections have made me feel less alone in what i went through -which has been hellish. So sad to see so many other women have gone through the same. Such utter devastation these selfish people cause. ❤ to all of you 🙏 💞
Who did Satan deceive first? Eve! However, this happens to men as well. It’s the great deceiver period. So that’s why we must stay close and be in God in anything and everything. That’s why he’s the savior and that’s not a lie. He is our savior in anything and everything.
Thank you so much for this lesson. You made me realize that I've been operating out of fear of him flying into a rage if I stand up for myself and that I wasn't trusting God to protect me. I have been afraid to say what I think if it's in opposition to what he is saying. That's going to change. Thank you.
Please be very careful as the abuse escalates once you get strong as they fear being abandoned that's the secret their biggest fear as a good supply(you) might leave. Leave if you can and don't tell a soul, go quietly. 🙏
I agree with Tracy, except for the "don't tell a soul". Please don't do this alone! Be sure before you begin taking steps to change the dance that you have a good strong support system, good, strong, wise friends to lean on, you're going to need them. God's blessings to you, Eden!
Thank you for this. Watching it for the first time, and even after two years, it still resonates deeply, continuing to impact and help people like me. It’s especially comforting as I face moments of toxicity and bitterness.
This was me ! I built a man / boy up , I wanted him to feel worthy of love & I helped him in anyway I could to be accused of cheating to find he had been doing exactly that . I have lost everything & starting all over again, he mocked my faith & I actually can’t believe I let that toxicity in my life . I’m now rebuilding 🙏 Love your videos ❤ thank you ☺️
Same. Got away from him and was in my rebuilding phase only to be tricked into another toxic narcissistic relation to the 1000th degree with MY MOTHER, who tricked me into letting her live with me by faking dementia!😩 I thank God for these teachings!
There is absolutely nothing you can do to please a naracist. They have to 'control' everything and everyone. You are simply 'wasting your time' by even having a conversation with a covert naracist. May we be kept safe from naracistic abuse and find healthy relationships with true Christian partners. We need to respect everyone. Thank you for this video.
I can't abandon my verbally abusive narcissistic mother. I'm her caregiver. I love her. I forgive her daily and bless her in Jesus name. Love heals even though she's a liar and a cheater. She's a child emotionally that never healed from abuse. My only goal in life is not to become her or be like her in any way. Lord, help her.
He was doing something that was really hurting me emotionally. He would say to me, "I understand, I do, I really do." he would stop the behavior if I was lucky for a few weeks or it would just be a few days or even a few hours. I finally smartened up and realized him saying he "understands" wasn't the same in my vocabulary. When I said I understood something, that I was hurting someone, I would stop that behavior. I said to him, "you say you understand, but you aren't going to stop what you are doing though are you?" and he replied, "Ummm, no." That started my wake up call. I was so hopeful I could get through to him. But no.
Kris i realy heard God speaking trough you to me directly , i‘m so blessed , and i‘ve cried like a Baby. It‘s realy hard, because i am trying, i am going back and forth with them. Thank you so much, Glory be to God!!!
Thank you. You have made me (finally) realize that God has given me all the things that I need to have the life I want. It is ME who is not allowing that to happen. This is truly liberating 💓
Thanks for this. When the narcissist is your adult child it is extremely painful. I am so glad that people like you are there to speak truth and it really helps. I no longer speak with my 46 year old disrespectful narcissist son and now it is very peaceful in my life. God bless!
I am in the same situation. 48 yrs old daughter I accidentally found out she is a narcissist. I am now able to handle her by no contact. It is sad but I am happier.
@@summerday8256 May God bless you and comfort your broken mother heart as it is impossible for us to be untouched by such tremendous pain ... God knows and sees all... ◄ Proverbs 17:25 ► New International Version A foolish son brings grief to his father and bitterness to the mother who bore him.
Thank you so much. I started listening to you and have realized my ex boyfriend is a narcissist. I didn’t see it coming, I was blind. Good thing I started asking him questions about his behaviour and he snapped at me, got really angry and broke up with me. Now I leave my ex boyfriend in Lord’s hands.
I AM NOT STRUGGLING WITH THESE TOXICS ANYMORE MY SISTER, PRAISE THE LORD. NOT BRAGGING ON MY SELF, BUT BRAGGING ON GOD AND GIVING HIM THE GLORY AND PRAYING FOR SOULS THAT ARE STRUGGLING. I WAS NOT AFRAID OF THEM AND DID NOT EVEN KNOW, I USE TO CALL THEM OUT.
This especially difficult when the narcissist is on Facebook telling lies, and half truths to a couple thousand people. We've had to step back and not respond. One of the most difficult things to do.
I feel you, I have sister in laws who are this way, keep on being the bigger person & focus on bettering your family , living well is the best thing you can do along with prayer, sooner or later the truth shines & they end up pushing away their loved ones! I know my sister in laws claimed I took my husband from them, yet they pushed him away with how they are
We were smeared in our neighborhood by a religious narcissist. Most neighbors turned against us. Anyone who listens to them are just as bad. Avoid them. They don't define you. It is very difficult, but normal people know who you are. Narcs only go after people they can't control. They're stupid and just plain evil.
The smear campaign is the most conflicting mental emotional torture every this is my second time going thru the media smear she posted a frd last yr n now she putting on this year talking about me indirectly because she hurt tryna project as if she was so good to me and I betrayed her ya I left the one sided controlling drama filled emotionally draining crumy ass situation future fake relationship
Getting rid of my social media, especially Facebook was one of the biggest healing steps for me. I had PTSD from even the association of my sister on there and it’s so freeing to not be part of it anymore. Try it!😅❤
God has healed my heart, and I have grown so much from my EX. I hit rock bottom, but WOW, what God has done in me is so beautiful. I am so grateful to the Lord. Now, i can look back and see what he was doing in me thru ALL the abusing behaviors from others, and i recognize what not to be. I never want to hurt others as i have been hurt. It made me a better mother. THANK YOU, JESUS, FOR TRANSFORMING MY LIFE AND HEART!. IM AMAZED DAILY..
I HAD SOME COUNSELING AND ITS HELPED ME TO ACCEPT WALIKING AWAY DO TO THE EMOTIONAL ABUSE FROM A FAMILY MEMBER..I NEEDED TO HEAL AND I AM! THANK U JESUS!
Oh my gosh! The part about the toxic vortex is exactly what I was allowing with my relationships with my family. I have not ever heard anyone else bring it up and I was beginning to think I was going crazy. Thank you Dr. Reece! This is the first time I've listened to your channel. It's an answer to my prayers. Praise God! Amen!
I have been married to a narcissist for 36 years. In our young life I got sent away to inpatient therapy I was because I made to believe that I was the one who was mentally ill...
Kris, you have helped me to set boundaries with my son’s girlfriend who lives with us. I learned through your videos that she is a covert narcissist/ gas lighter. It’s been going on for 3 years and I kept quiet for 2 years until I could stand it no more and told my son. She has 2 faces - sweet to him but covertly controlling around me. A real power struggle in the home. She would move things around in the kitchen, I had to search for things I’d bought - food, canisters etc Then some new things were damaged and when I asked what happened there was denial and anger from her. I found myself always apologising and reluctant to say anything because I became “ the bad guy” in her eyes. Walking on egg shells all the time. Long story short we had a blow up 3 weeks ago & my son asked her to find a place of her own which is happening this week. I have searched my heart before God and have tried many times to get on with her but to no avail. Now that she is leaving, it feels like a stronghold has been broken….
The narcissist doesn't make sense and at one time in a brief moment I thought that my whole life didn't make sense as I was being seriously gaslighted by the the high end covert narcissist husband. That depressing moment was broken when I heard these literally life saving words in my mind "God makes sense, God is in control." Thank you for this excellent video it's a keeper, I'll be listening to more videos from your Channel.👍🙂
Thank You Thank You Thank You !! A million thank yous for your words and your obedience to God ! This has been a great blessing to me. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine I would be married to a narcissist. I had the courage to leave but I’m still trying to heal from this horrible situation!
I feel like I want to cry as I listen to you. I've been a target of a sibling who is a narc all my life. I'm in my 50s and I finally had the courage to break free and not reply to her very nasty e-letter and blocked her and the flying monkeys from all my social media platforms.
I tried to ignore my sisters nasty text messages this morning… and she showed up at my house (she lives next door 😩) and I got sucked right in into the toxic vortex… I tried to tell myself I didn’t care what she said but it’s 2 am and I’m still up 😢 I finally prayed about it and within 10 minutes I came across this video! And then your post … I could cry and been a target of a sibling caught my eye! That’s me! I pray you can remain free of the madness!
Thank you for your response I'm 58 and young at heart (thank God for that strength ) but starting over without support is really scary, knowing the fact there are others surviving these events in these times is a boost! . Thanks again
Amen. Thank you. I moved out after 9 years..,I tried to help him. It's always been up to the Lord. I am thankful because the Lord showed me how to NOT be codependent and to fully trust him and him alone!!
Thank you the closer I got to God, the further away my husband and I grew apart. Than he said get the f out so I'm now on no contact. Still following my Heavenly Father. Wondering what's next
They are spiritually,emotionally immature. They dump their negativity crap on us.They don't care about you or are capable of loving godly. We are just a toy to use in their game. The irresponsibility and unwilling to be accountable by blaming,justifying and excusing their pride sin is unreal!
Wow! Yes! I kept telling myself I need to be a good Christian and be patient, etc., etc., etc. Well, after many years in a narcissistic friendship, I see it will not change. I find myself wanting to to solve her problems. But it stays the same. It is a tricky situation. We need the Holy Spirit to guide us!!🙏🙏
They keep you on the defensive and doubt your own good judgement. They are master manipulators . Know when God closes one door, he opens another door to escape.
Psalm 139:23-24 23 Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: 24 And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. 1 Thessalonians 5:23 King James Version 23 And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray God your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.
I’m so glad I listened to this! I had an letter I worked on until 2am this morning trying once again to make my parents understand and now I realize sending it is a mistake.
I wrote my narc mother 10 letters. Got one response "my money is more important than you". She couldn't hear a word I said. I wrote her off. No contact.
Or why do you do this....then you do it. But then you need to do that....then you do that. Then you need to do more of thissss.....cycle. cycle. Never happy. Oh my JESUS IS THE ONLY HOPE
Same song on repeat..if you want to chage, fast; or you'll end up feeling isolated, broken, beaten, cheated on, lied to, in a contest for the need to explain yourself, and the endless disrespect we endure that they call, love...really like a parasite..sucking the life out while they thrive..pray and run
Oh yes, I hear this all the time! Or, ‘what’s wrong with you????’ If you have anything to say that they don’t like, it’s just your problem, zero accountability….yup!
When he knows you are not able to leave.. I will not stop praying to keep my strength, I pray that I can keep quiet and not even speak to him anymore! . until I am able to get away. 🙏
I am viewing this 07/30/2023. This is immensely helpful. I have often wondered, in the light of the WORD, how to his narcissist can sleep so well after rough interactions with them and I am left sleepless. It makes so much sense. Your ministry has helped me gain much understanding of my situation.
Being in a relationship with a narcissist is extremely EXHAUSTING.😫
Yessss 😢
😊
Yes..extremely exhausting for sure!!! They suck the life out of you!! The spirit that is in them is not from our Heavenly Father.
I literally thought it was my fault for years😢 So I really stepped up my game. He said I was bad at communication, so I became good at that (Charisma on Command). He said I was to hormonal or irrational. So I became very rational and highly analytical. He said that I was sexually unattractive because I was fat. So I lost weight. In the end he started accusing me of blaming him because I confronted him that he could be a narcissist. But yet I'm practicing Jocko's self ownership and am also really trying to live like the book of James on the bible.
He bragged that he's never changed and was consistent our entire relationship.
Well, all my efforts to be a good and healthy spouse and person ended showing me that I wasn't in a healthy relationship. At the end of the relationship, I tried to talk with him about this but he refuses to listen. So it is what it is.
I'm healthy now atleast. Feel bad for him though. He only trusts himself.:/
And the co deoending... Jak, Blaimshifting ... Feeling the predator because She Says So ...
They want to fight. They want to be angry. They have a choice just like everyone has a choice but they choose hate, anger, jealousy, lack of forgiveness, pride, lies, etc etc
1,000 Thumbs Up!!!! 👍
How true you are😊
@@tanyadepoalo4312 1,000 thumbs up 👍
Absolutely on point!
Yep! They do this not only because they are angry but because they need to self regulate to bring them down from the anxious critical state they are always in. That is one of the main operational cyclical traits that makes them a narcissist in the first place. Let them live in their world forget what they say and please God alone. I've experienced so much power in this. No need to try to soothe or please a dysfunctional delusional person because you never can.
You have been such a blessing to me Kris! I am an only child with a widowed elderly ill narcissistic mother. I have learned at 63 years old to set boundaries. I continually practice. It doesn’t feel good. I know this is normal. With the Lord’s help I will endure the race. Blessings my friend!
The fear of man lays a snare but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe. I love that!
Yep, narcissist uses fear as his only power source because he can't love.
Do not go with an angry man less you learn his ways.
I love it too and not to be the person who says "But". But there are children being mollested and murdered and it does not stop. As much as we pray and hope they are still out there. Mine died and was never stopped.
@@mpacino1224 I have no answer for that. Makes no sense. 😔
Do good wherever you can and whenever you can and leave the rest in God’s capable and just hands . 🙏🏻
Some people are too broken to repair and no one is going to fix them, but Jesus.
He’s there.. Jesus that is. Silently knocking. One needs to want Him, to let Him.
Can't help someone who does not want to be helped.
I don't think Jesus will fix them, as narcassist seem to be those turned over by God to a reprobate mind and highly likely unable to turn around. Like the last breath, it's a breath, but it's the last.
That is so true. It is likely common, but no matter how much you’ve tried, it only goes so far. Conditional love is not giving love!
@@Gilfanon-2 you can't make them.
A GREEK SAY, YOUR WORST ENEMY COMES FROM WITHIN YOUR FAMILY!
When is the narc. not upset, that is the question. They step over your clear boundaries and find fault with everything you do, and refuses to live in peace and they enjoy doing the thing that bother you. They are insane. 🇨🇦
Agree, as well as the “withholding” of information and/or affection or anything that you actually like or want,or need!
@@Peepers2 facts
I agree
Say that again.
Yes
The sweetest Christian learnings from dealing with narcissists are the ultimate wisdom of: NO RETALIATION, NO REVENGE, holding fast to what is true, politely and firmly standing up for what is right (righteousness) and focussing on pleasing God, over man.
Amen
Yes, and AMEN... Working daily on this to counter the negative.Thanks TM
I spoke my peace with the narc in the church. She contintued to be coy and snarky. I told one female church leader, and she acted like I was the one with the problem because the narc manipulated her.
This too l have learned. Wise words.
Amen!!😇
This will help me sleep. Knowing Gods not fooled and he has my back
They steal your joy in life
I choose to trust the Lord. I choose to fear the Lord. I choose to listen to the Lord and to be set free from toxic people!
I am glad to see there is someone out there thinking the same way like me🤗🙌🙏🙏🙏
🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
_@?
In Jesus' name!🙌🏽🔥
But i know frome the gospel, that brings loving your next is even so important, then loving god.... So follow jesus words as a christ?!?
God make me as Gentle as Dove and wise as surpant! 🙏
"He knows what this Narcissist is doing, And God does not take it kindly to those messing with his Children"...Has me in tears😢
The Lord avenges you of evil ppl. He does!! Ive seen it with my own eyes!!
Me too ❤❤
Kris God led me to your channel I hear our Father God responding to so many of my prayers and cries through this video
I’m screaming with joy!!!!
I AGREE
It's Sunday, April 30/ 2023 9:59 am. Thank you for the great words of wisdom. Very refreshing and edifying to hear counseling based on foundation of biblical truth. Jesuschrist truly is the only way. The verse you quoted where Jesus asked the apostles, "do you also want to leave? and Peter responded ,"where can we go, master, only you have words of life.". Those are the most powerful words I've ever heard in my life. God bless and continue using you for His glory.". You truly have the gift of word of knowledge. I get chills all over just quoting that verse to myself. Thank you
30 yrs married to maybe worse than a narcissist, possibly a psychopath. Years of banging my head in to the wall trying to figure out how to fix things, I learned a lot of your topics discussed on my own. Of course when I started to discover I had been living a lie with a person that didn’t exist because his reality wasn’t reality, he walked out stating, it was all
My fault. I went thru a horrendous divorce, where he tried to turn every one I loved against me, I lost virtually everything while he successfully played the victim but 3 yrs post him exiting my life I found this was the greatest gift that truly was a blessing form my Lord because now I’m not having the life sucked out of me and I can be a light and witness for the greatness of my savior Jesus Christ.
Whaaaohw that is some fine testimony. Thank 🙇 you.
"& if he leaves, God has called you to peace" ~ 11 Corinthians 7 : 15
Oh my goodness, I could have written your post!! My marriage lasted 20 years, not 30, but almost identical. He went to every one of my family members, one by one (and I have a huge family), dressed in wrinkled shirts and slacks with a hang-dog, poor me countenance, and told them he wanted to make the marriage work but I refused to go to counseling with him and was divorcing him, despite the fact that he'd been having an affair for two years with the woman he married a month after the divorce was final. But this was all 31 years ago, and sad to admit, it took me many years to "untether" myself from his manipulation and control. Back then, there wasn't much help available, thankfully we've become much more wise to these sorts of scoundrels. God bless you Vicki!
@@gramajan4 thank you & God bless you too. Things like this let you know with God you can get thru anything!!
@@kyvikki123 For sure! I wonder how people get through life without Jesus, I don't know if I could have, so thankful for Him!
I choose not to trust myself but to trust God
This is one of the best explanation about narcissism from a Christian perspective that I have heard. Thanks 🙏 😇
As long as I do what my sister wants, everything is fine, the moment I say no or get mad at her behavior towards me, I’m blamed and then I become the target of her sadistic ways and stalking. Jesus knows I’m tired and I want to do better.
Narcissism is called, "Insolent Pride," in the Bible. To say someone is Narcissist is the same as saying they're demon possessed. It's a repeating pattern of behaviors and manipulations that are based on negative energy..
@@justice8563 I understand, and feel like you but we cant feel sorry for ourselves and beat our heads against a brick wall. We are only waisting our time and theirs when we continue to feed them with what they expect of us all the time.Our energy will be totaly drained. We just have to trust and leave them with God and and move on.
❤
You are the best
Narcs demonize empaths with lies. Empaths demonize narcs with truth.
🤯 that's THE WAR , they are trying to TELL you about you that is wrong , horrible and crazy and you (us/we) explaining what really happened and how it ade you feel 🤔 that is it APPEASE THEM or Please THE MOST HIGH
These two statements are profound.👏🏼🙌
Wow. So true!
Wow!!!
Thats a WHOLE book title right there….. Lord help your people break these toxic patterns in Jesus name
That’s me!! Just found your channel. My husband is a Christian narcissist. It’s a nightmare.
That WAS me. Now, after 35 years, I’M the one not answering the phone.
After 50 years of marriage, I now realize how toxic it is , has always been. I praise God for the internet and sharing of facts like this, chanels of ordinary people sharing their story, of brave ppl who have left the toxicity behind and started afresh life. I knew something wasn't right , so, being proactive tried to fix me. That just made it worse. I have come to the place of cautious acceptance, hubs has to have his own way all the time. I'm 68 now , I know God directs my path. But I want out, I'm worth more than this.I'm no ones servant or slave. But like Queen Esther, I was born for such a time as this. Like her I am scared , my prayer is and has always been, Lord give me courage, make me strong. He will , and the word says, He will never leave me or forsake me, in Him I can put my trust. God bless you all xx ❤
Isaiah 4110 stand on that
You are never too old for peace! I left my second marriage with an abusive man in 2015 and I am 76 now! It hasn’t been easy but God will not fail you! You do your work and He will be God! ❤
Thank you and bless you too
🙌🙏🙌🙏
Suzi work on boundries, I started by telling him he needs to quit telling me how I am and how I feel..then I gave a consequence, like I will get up and leave the room. And each time...I would get up and leave the room. Also, when he is doing something unacceptable..I would say...knock it off (Sean). Then say...Just the facts, only the facts. Keep watching Kris she has helped me a lot!!! 😊
👍. I WANT MY JOY AND PEACE BACK NOW !!!! IN THE NAME ABOVE ALL NAMES JESUS CHRIST ✝️❤️✝️
🙏🏻❤️
You were speaking to me directly. I was married to a Narcissist for 33 years and life became exhausting. I was always trying to make things right all the time. Being divorced for a few years now, I have realized how beautiful life can be. I am relaxed, happy, and finally enjoying my life and what I do.
Music to my ears ! Many Blessings 🙏🏼😇🕊️
Be happy ♥
So sorry for all you've endured that was very difficult I know....Bless you for sharing
Same here!!!
Can you please tell me how you finally made up your mind to leave? I'm now facing the same dilemma. Married 33 years August coming, and today I told him I can't do it anymore. I'm so drained and angry at myself for staying in this toxic marriage for so long...Hoping he would change.
When I realized that my anguish was preventing me from reading my scriptures and feeding my soul, I chose to go no contact. I've never been so fulfilled!!!
Beautiful.
So that's why I can't even seem to pray!!!!
ANGUISH!!!
Definitely, the enemy’s plan!
I rejoice with you in your freedom in the Lord!!! Please pray that I don’t let my STBX derail my priorities With his selfish ambitions!❤️
Praying for you!
Thank you for giving clarity from a Biblical perspective. What your saying is very helpful and empowering. Blessings!
“I don’t want evil to be seen in me cus you brought it out of me. I don’t even want the evil in me”. Most powerful statement I’ve heard in a while. God is most certainly working through you and he wanted me to see this today. 🙏🏼
Yes you have to rid yourself of any traits of this
God is a God of justice
He does not like the lying and manipulation
I let my narc know i was praying all soul ties with him were being completely broken and the effects of his toxicity would be null. The next night i had a dream that he was grabbing at my heels and turned into a green demon with ugly claws. He began shriveling up as his claws were forced away through people's prayers. The next day i told him my dream and my pastor had him removed from my home. I let him know he was powerless over me. This was my key to freedom.
I left narc husband 3 years ago, the Lord provided all my needs and has replenished what the Locust ate up. I feel like my children and I are now living in the promise land flowing with milk and honey. It was very hard to get out but well worth it once out the fog lifts and my only regrets is that I didn't leave sooner.
Hallelujah!!!
One has to stick to the boundaries and not let them move them. NO is NO!
i don't know what to do with my boyfriend qho lead me to soberiety but it seems like he only want me as a finanial relationship soon as i cant put money on his books he is acting like im nothing
What about visitation? Mine goes behind my back trying ti manipulate our son instead of just calling me to speak to him
I have dealt with narcissists most of my life and didn't realize it. I always thought I was doing or saying something wrong. I am still healing from the many battle scars but through the grace of God and the blood of Jesus Christ, I am able to walk with my head held high, knowing that I don't walk alone. Thank you for loving me Jesus.
I so wish I could sit on your sofa and talk out all the pain my father has caused and is still causing. Your words are encouraging Thankyou
My first husband ( in the 70s) was just like my mother. Emotionally unstable, selfish, stifling.
Some years later, I asked Heavenly Father to send me the man He wanted me to have. We have been married 40 years. 🙏🏼❤️
Awesome! Thank you!!!
I choose to trust God
God bless you.❤
Here here…I’m almost 59. My mother was chronic alcoholic. I don’t know if she was narcissistic, but most def, self absorbed, self only focused, vain, negative gossiped about everyone else-Constantly. She plotted her 4daughters against each other. I’d distanced myself from her for over a year, then she became terminally ill and my sisters smeared me for what THEY said I’d abandoned mom; so when mom did nothing to reach out to me, to love me…I LOVED HER. I visited her in the hospital then was there 24/7 for twelve days of hospice. It was so depressing. I felt the persecution. One of my sisters, one yr younger than me is a “disciple of Christ”, her words> “ I’m a real Christian, and YOU are not, so I will baptize mom, and I will call upon the Holy Spirit”. Well,,,,hmmm I consider myself a truly devoted follower of Christ for over 40years.. my sister is in a cult😢…so I stuck thru hospice, nonstop praying for and with my mom. She did confess her sin, and finally admitted it’s been her selfish ways her entire life, that Jesus died for……w/all that said…I’ve got my 40years anniversary coming up next November….all because my mother abandoned me @16yrs old, I met my husband(@18). My rejection and abandonment by her actually protected me. Thank you Lord, you are so good!!!!
@@1timeslime971 I hear you. Because I trust God, I know there is a reason for everything. Difficulties make us stronger, and we can walk away from selfish people. God Bless you. 🙏🏼🤍🕊
Married to a narcissist for 25 years and discovered it just 5 years ago. Thank God I am still standing and not separating home with him, but the boundary is clear and everything I've unloaded at the foot of the cross. Life is no longer a struggle since I focus my eyes on Jesus. My joy no longer depends on outside circumstances but. looking forward to hope of glory and for the moment doing the Lord's work and will, everyday that I'm still living here.
I just read your comment and I have been married to a narc for over 36yrs and like you didn’t separate but by God’s grace and mercy. I am growing in Him and set boundaries. We can grow in The Lord as we live with the narc. Thanks for sharing
Believe HIS Word over their lies is the key to freedom
God has my back. Stay in the Word. Beautiful Advice
So good to hear about this condition from Christian, Biblical perspective. Amen! right on!
Totally agree❤
Agreed too ❤ xx
I so identify with what you said. I'm so tired of feeling inferior and not good enough. I'm tired of defending myself, my children the whole time.
Best n most healthy decision I made was to divorce crazy. I am happy n serve the Lord. It is precious to have my life n not worry about surviving. So glad I am out. People see me as happy n great to be around using my life n energy in gratefulness for Jesus.
You had me at: "The narcissist is upset with you -again."
Thank you. Watching this calmed that anxiety, I even laughed, ty! Will look into the Codependency Course. Ty for making it not cost a fortune. Blessings to you and your staff.
Nani
OMG. So true ! What next are they going to be upset about. What is the next accusation ? It is exhausting !!!
There is always a problem when I bring up a topic that they don’t wish to discuss …..usually something they have said or done.Then the rage begins😵💫
They don’t care. I wouldn’t waste anytime trying to get them to repent. They will never do that genuinely
They will deliberately not admit to or acknowledge your point of view and they get high watching you try to convince them because they already know its never happening.
Better to accept what they do, make up your mind about the truth and stop feeding into or trying to get acknowkedgement from them. If you want to be free, just let then do their own thing, dont get involved, keep your answers short, practical and pleasant, and you concentrate on yourself instead of them. Do this privately otherwise theyll use it against you.
@@livvyo2123 Hi Livvy this is so true. I try to bring something up. They don't care to discuss or to correct something. They do it on purpose to make you angry . They are pure evil. I could say so much of the hurt I have felt because they totally disregard you. Their actions are only to break you.
They did for a while. But now putting my trust in God has helped me with my anxiety. My whole family are narcs. My mother is the matriac narc and she protects and enables my older brother who is just like her and his children also. So disfunctional. They are so fake and I can't stand their lies and putting everything under the carpet. Nothing gets resolved. I am so lucky I am who I am with Christ.
I would beg him to please let me explain but he made me believe I did wrong . I was so scared
It’s always “you bring up the past “but he does the exact thing but it’s okay for him
Give yourself permission to choose who you want for a friend. You dont have to let just anyone in your inner circle.
Thank you! Mental health is so important! What makes your channel so awesome for me is God into the equation. Makes all the difference. ❤
I agree with you.
Yes! Not only but GOD IS THE FOUNDATION & Pinnacle forefront of the conversation-would you say?
ALLLLL the difference!🙌🏽🔥
I think the saddest part of realizing I’ve been married to a narcissist for 50 years is that there’s bo one to grow old together. He’s oblivious to showing a healthy love and I’m alone in a marriage.
I am in the same situation very little in common as we age, and really not even a friendship. It's so very sad especially when we know how it could have possibly been with someone normal.
Yes. I so agee with u all.
I get really sad when i think about giving the best yrs of my life to this sick pitiful demented excuse of a human.he has lived his life and sucked the life out of .y existence. These people are emotional vampires.
Get a sweet cat.
God can still redeem you!!!
That's a powerful statement. There is no difference than if your partner passed away though. ❤
I choose to trust God!!!!!! 35 yrs w a narcissist, i gave it all to God…. PLEASE get out of that relationship, it destroyed me and my sons, my sons are gone at 29 ( my oldest son) and my youngest son was 33 in a motorcycle accident last year… no relationship is worth the pain and anguish while he stood behind God the entire time,
Narcissistic type people are okay when you let them treat you with contempt, disrespect, and mockery in front of their enablers.
They do. And it's sick.
I simply love what God is doing through you. ❤❤❤
She is such a blessing. Doing Gods work
I choose God. I feel so much better as I breathe new LIFE from Source. Glory to ALL who KNOW TRUTH is HERE ALWAYS❤🙏🏾
It’s the rage that scares me. His eyes seem to turn black when he’s angry with me. I prefer the silent treatment.
Silence treatment is also soul-eating @Dalenemarie, it's that anger bottled up, not knowing why and how to release it and constant silence...at all times...until THEY feel defused again...to poke and talk.
Learn spiritual warfare. You will need it
Mine too!! But I am no longer afraid: Because the word says 2nd Timothy 1:7 Sooo good!!!
😂
Their games are all evil....
I’m in a relationship that’s exactly like this. I played the game for 15 years. I’m now in observing mode. His behavior this week is just like what you’ve described. I will not engage in his stonewalling anymore but inside I’m full of unhealthy thoughts I’m staying for financial & for my 15yr old son. It’s such an awful relationship. Thanks for these tools. He’s a “good guy” & serves the church & community but to me it’s polar opposite. I am almost 50. I’ve been in this relationship for 26yrs. I’m want out I want peace but the stress of divorce will crush my son. I’m gonna wait it out for a few more years during that time I’m working on me & raising my son & focusing on God. I do not engage in his manipulation anymore. I’m so proud of my growth looking to build my relationship with God. I needed this survival guide thank you!
I'm in your boat too ,stay strong,
I'm in a similar boat as well. Pls pray for me. I want OUT, like yesterday. I don't like to face confrontation so it's extremely difficult for me.
@@Jesus_is_Lord_7 Praying for you to be able to create your plans to leave. Once you set the intention look for the avenues to make your plan a reality. Help is out there; programs that offer shelter, monies and transportation to help a woman restart. Please seek them out for this journey ahead- God Bless You 💕
me too. same story. I pray for freedom and courage
You ARE NOT ALONE. I'm also staying married to mine, but we have an adult daughter that we care for. Now I alone care fo rher, and he's going to work and live in a different state. I've put in 33 yrs, and I'm not formally divorcing for financial reasons also. HE knows the marriage is OVER- he already gave me his wedding ring.!?!) I'm starting to get in touch with the emotions of being in a prison for so long, and not even realizing it. God Bless and Protect you as you stay and raise your son, and observe!
I feel I am surrounded by these toxic people, and every single one steals my stuff. This stuff does do damage to you. I let down, staying in the word and praying. I was playing the crazy game. One of these people is my daughter. It is hard, but I'm not willing to live my life this way forever. I'm staying in prayer, the word, and watching biblical information or sermons. I'm trying to understand what I can do to stay away from this toxicity. Thanks Kris
Thank you. I came home feeling not believed by those around me because of the lies my husband said about me having an imagination about all he does. I cried to the Lord as to what to do. I opened You Tube and heard this message from you. Everything you say here is exactly what I am going through. I have taken back my confidence and will just walk away rather than trying to prove him and them wrong. I shall let God fight my battles. I am a God fearing Christian and will not fear man. Jesus is king of my heart. Thank you for being a blessing to me. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I'm in the process of divorcing a narcissist husband. Thank u Kris....for the truth and encouragement. Nice to find a Christian perspective!
I'm crawling thru the mud to escape but step by step God is cleaning my life. I believed I've finally learned the lesson....you tonight gave me a peace that I'm finally on the right road....to peace, and joy, and trust in Jesus. I will continue to ask God to take my fear and worry of this mean man who I pity and pray for....but he no longer rules my life.
Those is totally demonic behaviour
Yes, I am a Narcisist victim-a friend. She is manipulative, I don't know about a Narcisist, she really destroyed my Peace, only now that I know them thru you. They are sick & pathetic. God bless you for sharing.🙌🙏
I’m a slave to people who don’t have my interests at heart! This is eye opening info! Thank you!!
When your mom is the narcissist and the only 'present' parent person you have. Smh. Thank you Jesus that God IS both mother and father and loves me so much.
They really arent causing all the turmoil on the inside of me, I'm letting them. Good stuff.
I choose to trust God over the narcissists in my life
Thank you Jesus. I trust you. You made me FREE!!!!
I'm finally free. Healing in Jesús Name. ❤
In the end of this video, the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard, was that part about, “ The most precious time with God spent and if it took me in a relationship like that to bring me in that relationship with God then I wouldn’t have traded it for the world!”. Just moves me to a peaceful place. As I have said this in my healing/recovery provess, written about this and it seemed to be disregarded by family or even therapist. I feel a sense of joy right now as this is the first moment I have heard my precise outlook and my truth. Thank You. ❤
These videos and comment sections have made me feel less alone in what i went through -which has been hellish. So sad to see so many other women have gone through the same. Such utter devastation these selfish people cause. ❤ to all of you 🙏 💞
Who did Satan deceive first? Eve! However, this happens to men as well. It’s the great deceiver period. So that’s why we must stay close and be in God in anything and everything. That’s why he’s the savior and that’s not a lie. He is our savior in anything and everything.
Yes many women go through this, but many men go through this also.
Thank you so much for this lesson. You made me realize that I've been operating out of fear of him flying into a rage if I stand up for myself and that I wasn't trusting God to protect me. I have been afraid to say what I think if it's in opposition to what he is saying. That's going to change. Thank you.
Please be very careful as the abuse escalates once you get strong as they fear being abandoned that's the secret their biggest fear as a good supply(you) might leave. Leave if you can and don't tell a soul, go quietly. 🙏
I agree with Tracy, except for the "don't tell a soul". Please don't do this alone! Be sure before you begin taking steps to change the dance that you have a good strong support system, good, strong, wise friends to lean on, you're going to need them. God's blessings to you, Eden!
I would stand at attention for long time and listen to his yelling comments and blame. Out of fear of the Rage
Thank you for this. Watching it for the first time, and even after two years, it still resonates deeply, continuing to impact and help people like me. It’s especially comforting as I face moments of toxicity and bitterness.
This was me ! I built a man / boy up , I wanted him to feel worthy of love & I helped him in anyway I could to be accused of cheating to find he had been doing exactly that . I have lost everything & starting all over again, he mocked my faith & I actually can’t believe I let that toxicity in my life .
I’m now rebuilding 🙏
Love your videos ❤ thank you ☺️
Same. Got away from him and was in my rebuilding phase only to be tricked into another toxic narcissistic relation to the 1000th degree with MY MOTHER, who tricked me into letting her live with me by faking dementia!😩 I thank God for these teachings!
There is absolutely nothing you can do to please a naracist. They have to 'control' everything and everyone. You are simply 'wasting your time' by even having a conversation with a covert naracist. May we be kept safe from naracistic abuse and find healthy relationships with true Christian partners. We need to respect everyone. Thank you for this video.
I can't abandon my verbally abusive narcissistic mother. I'm her caregiver. I love her. I forgive her daily and bless her in Jesus name. Love heals even though she's a liar and a cheater. She's a child emotionally that never healed from abuse. My only goal in life is not to become her or be like her in any way. Lord, help her.
He was doing something that was really hurting me emotionally. He would say to me, "I understand, I do, I really do." he would stop the behavior if I was lucky for a few weeks or it would just be a few days or even a few hours. I finally smartened up and realized him saying he "understands" wasn't the same in my vocabulary. When I said I understood something, that I was hurting someone, I would stop that behavior. I said to him, "you say you understand, but you aren't going to stop what you are doing though are you?" and he replied, "Ummm, no." That started my wake up call. I was so hopeful I could get through to him. But no.
Yes I care what God thinks and His timing is perfect. That’s why I’m hearing your teaching today. Thank you for being obedient to our Heavenly Father.
😊 Thanks woman of God and healed your teachings it's a confirmation. Be blessed.
Kris i realy heard God speaking trough you to me directly , i‘m so blessed , and i‘ve cried like a Baby. It‘s realy hard, because i am trying, i am going back and forth with them. Thank you so much, Glory be to God!!!
Thank you. You have made me (finally) realize that God has given me all the things that I need to have the life I want. It is ME who is not allowing that to happen. This is truly liberating 💓
Yes! I am being blessed!
😊
That WAS me. Divorced for 7 years now and happier than I have ever been. ❤️
Thanks for this. When the narcissist is your adult child it is extremely painful. I am so glad that people like you are there to speak truth and it really helps. I no longer speak with my 46 year old disrespectful narcissist son and now it is very peaceful in my life. God bless!
I am in the same situation. 48 yrs old daughter I accidentally found out she is a narcissist. I am now able to handle her by no contact. It is sad but I am happier.
Im the same boat with my 40yr old son. O would describe him exactly the way you described your son! Plus I am raising his 2 boys. 😬
@@summerday8256 May God bless you and comfort your broken mother heart as it is impossible for us to be untouched by such tremendous pain ... God knows and sees all... ◄ Proverbs 17:25 ►
New International Version
A foolish son brings grief to his father and bitterness to the mother who bore him.
@@SandyMay61 God bless you Sandy!
How do children become narcissists?😢🩵
You are helping me so much in this. I am weeping. I want others to see Christ in me, but I was lost until I heard you today xxxx
Thank you so much. I started listening to you and have realized my ex boyfriend is a narcissist. I didn’t see it coming, I was blind. Good thing I started asking him questions about his behaviour and he snapped at me, got really angry and broke up with me. Now I leave my ex boyfriend in Lord’s hands.
I AM NOT STRUGGLING WITH THESE TOXICS ANYMORE MY SISTER, PRAISE THE LORD. NOT BRAGGING ON MY SELF, BUT BRAGGING ON GOD AND GIVING HIM THE GLORY AND PRAYING FOR SOULS THAT ARE STRUGGLING. I WAS NOT AFRAID OF THEM AND DID NOT EVEN KNOW, I USE TO CALL THEM OUT.
This especially difficult when the narcissist is on Facebook telling lies, and half truths to a couple thousand people. We've had to step back and not respond. One of the most difficult things to do.
I feel you, I have sister in laws who are this way, keep on being the bigger person & focus on bettering your family , living well is the best thing you can do along with prayer, sooner or later the truth shines & they end up pushing away their loved ones! I know my sister in laws claimed I took my husband from them, yet they pushed him away with how they are
Exactly! I understand it's bern done to me one too many!
We were smeared in our neighborhood by a religious narcissist. Most neighbors turned against us. Anyone who listens to them are just as bad. Avoid them. They don't define you. It is very difficult, but normal people know who you are. Narcs only go after people they can't control. They're stupid and just plain evil.
The smear campaign is the most conflicting mental emotional torture every this is my second time going thru the media smear she posted a frd last yr n now she putting on this year talking about me indirectly because she hurt tryna project as if she was so good to me and I betrayed her ya I left the one sided controlling drama filled emotionally draining crumy ass situation future fake relationship
Getting rid of my social media, especially Facebook was one of the biggest healing steps for me. I had PTSD from even the association of my sister on there and it’s so freeing to not be part of it anymore. Try it!😅❤
I want to be able to say no to the narcissist without raising my voice and getting angry!
Me too!!! So hard they trigger you by their stupid arguments!!
😢 me too
Me too
Me too
Me too
God has healed my heart, and I have grown so much from my EX. I hit rock bottom, but WOW, what God has done in me is so beautiful. I am so grateful to the Lord. Now, i can look back and see what he was doing in me thru ALL the abusing behaviors from others, and i recognize what not to be. I never want to hurt others as i have been hurt. It made me a better mother. THANK YOU, JESUS, FOR TRANSFORMING MY LIFE AND HEART!. IM AMAZED DAILY..
30 years of the eggshell walk for me. Yikes. Never heard of NPD. Been away for 4 years. God’s guidance. I can’t do without it.
I HAD SOME COUNSELING AND ITS HELPED ME TO ACCEPT WALIKING AWAY DO TO THE EMOTIONAL ABUSE FROM A FAMILY MEMBER..I NEEDED TO HEAL AND I AM! THANK U JESUS!
Oh my gosh! The part about the toxic vortex is exactly what I was allowing with my relationships with my family. I have not ever heard anyone else bring it up and I was beginning to think I was going crazy. Thank you Dr. Reece! This is the first time I've listened to your channel. It's an answer to my prayers. Praise God! Amen!
I’m a mental health therapist and delusional is the correct term! Bravo. Love your work.
Yes!!!
I have been married to a narcissist for 36 years. In our young life I got sent away to inpatient therapy I was because I made to believe that I was the one who was mentally ill...
Stumbled upon your channel. You are a God send. You truly are speaking the truth in love.
Kris, you have helped me to set boundaries with my son’s girlfriend who lives with us.
I learned through your videos that she is a covert narcissist/ gas lighter. It’s been going on for 3 years and I kept quiet for 2 years until I could stand it no more and told my son.
She has 2 faces - sweet to him but covertly controlling around me. A real power struggle in the home. She would move things around in the kitchen, I had to search for things I’d bought - food, canisters etc
Then some new things were damaged and when I asked what happened there was denial and anger from her. I found myself always apologising and reluctant to say anything because I became “ the bad guy”
in her eyes. Walking on egg shells all the time.
Long story short we had a blow up 3 weeks ago & my son asked her to find a place of her own which is happening this week.
I have searched my heart before God and have tried many times to get on with her but to no avail.
Now that she is leaving, it feels like a stronghold has been broken….
The narcissist doesn't make sense and at one time in a brief moment I thought that my whole life didn't make sense as I was being seriously gaslighted by the the high end covert narcissist husband. That depressing moment was broken when I heard these literally life saving words in my mind "God makes sense, God is in control." Thank you for this excellent video it's a keeper, I'll be listening to more videos from your Channel.👍🙂
Thank You Thank You Thank You !! A million thank yous for your words and your obedience to God ! This has been a great blessing to me. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine I would be married to a narcissist. I had the courage to leave but I’m still trying to heal from this horrible situation!
I feel like I want to cry as I listen to you. I've been a target of a sibling who is a narc all my life. I'm in my 50s and I finally had the courage to break free and not reply to her very nasty e-letter and blocked her and the flying monkeys from all my social media platforms.
I tried to ignore my sisters nasty text messages this morning… and she showed up at my house (she lives next door 😩) and I got sucked right in into the toxic vortex… I tried to tell myself I didn’t care what she said but it’s 2 am and I’m still up 😢 I finally prayed about it and within 10 minutes I came across this video! And then your post … I could cry and been a target of a sibling caught my eye! That’s me! I pray you can remain free of the madness!
Thank you for your response I'm 58 and young at heart (thank God for that strength ) but starting over without support is really scary, knowing the fact there are others surviving these events in these times is a boost! . Thanks again
Toni you are ABSOLUTELY the most beautiful woman I've ever seen ❤
Toni you are a Goodness created by God. U can do everything through the one who made u. Love you.
Amen. Thank you. I moved out after 9 years..,I tried to help him. It's always been up to the Lord. I am thankful because the Lord showed me how to NOT be codependent and to fully trust him and him alone!!
My heart literally did change as Kris said it would. That’s how I know she is authentic. ❤
Thank you the closer I got to God, the further away my husband and I grew apart. Than he said get the f out so I'm now on no contact. Still following my Heavenly Father. Wondering what's next
They are spiritually,emotionally immature. They dump their negativity crap on us.They don't care about you or are capable of loving godly. We are just a toy to use in their game. The irresponsibility and unwilling to be accountable by blaming,justifying and excusing their pride sin is unreal!
This is it in a nutshell
Wow! Yes! I kept telling myself I need to be a good Christian and be patient, etc., etc., etc. Well, after many years in a narcissistic friendship, I see it will not change. I find myself wanting to to solve her problems. But it stays the same. It is a tricky situation. We need the Holy Spirit to guide us!!🙏🙏
They keep you on the defensive and doubt your own good judgement. They are master manipulators . Know when God closes one door, he opens another door to escape.
i choose to trust God! Amen
😊Thank you so much!! I choose to trust God!!
Psalm 139:23-24
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts:
24 And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
1 Thessalonians 5:23
King James Version
23 And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray God your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.
That's me 💜
I’m so glad I listened to this! I had an letter I worked on until 2am this morning trying once again to make my parents understand and now I realize sending it is a mistake.
Letters are always a good idea, but maybe just give some time in between
I wrote my narc mother 10 letters. Got one response "my money is more important than you". She couldn't hear a word I said. I wrote her off. No contact.
@@terrik8581 should I give a letter I wrote to someone or just walk away?
Good on you for pouring your heart and soul into that letter. It's NO SO IN VAIN after all. That's why REM wrote a song called "Letter Never Sent"
Write the letter but don't send it. give it to God. God sees everything.
This was one of the most clearly explained descriptions of how narcissists operate. And you gave great advice on how to handle these people.
I think God wants to love this person through me as a friend, and pray for them, and trust the Lord to lead me.
Definitely! My malignant narcissist always says to me, "Why can't you just be nice, we could get along if you'd be nice to me".
Or why do you do this....then you do it. But then you need to do that....then you do that. Then you need to do more of thissss.....cycle. cycle. Never happy. Oh my
JESUS IS THE ONLY HOPE
Same song on repeat..if you want to chage, fast; or you'll end up feeling isolated, broken, beaten, cheated on, lied to, in a contest for the need to explain yourself, and the endless disrespect we endure that they call, love...really like a parasite..sucking the life out while they thrive..pray and run
Yes they say that
No dice! They will never be nice!! 😮
Oh yes, I hear this all the time! Or, ‘what’s wrong with you????’ If you have anything to say that they don’t like, it’s just your problem, zero accountability….yup!
I struggle to not care what people think. Getting much better
The only opinions that matter are of those who will be with you in life's hard moments.
I choose to trust God ! I’m going thru the silent treatment but waiting for the narcissist to leave my house .
When he knows you are not able to leave.. I will not stop praying to keep my strength, I pray that I can keep quiet and not even speak to him anymore! . until I am able to get away. 🙏
I am viewing this 07/30/2023. This is immensely helpful. I have often wondered, in the light of the WORD, how to his narcissist can sleep so well after rough interactions with them and I am left sleepless. It makes so much sense. Your ministry has helped me gain much understanding of my situation.