Don't Argue with a Narcissist - God Says Do This Instead!

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  • Опубліковано 16 вер 2024
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 1,2 тис.

  • @Kris_Reece
    @Kris_Reece  Місяць тому +62

    Grab your FREE Toxic People Survival Guide
    krisreece.com/toxic-people-survival-guide
    or our NEW Narcissist Survival Guide
    krisreece.com/narcissist-survival-guide/

    • @giselamovilla8978
      @giselamovilla8978 Місяць тому +1

      @@Kris_Reece Thank you 🙏🏻

    • @rebeccareed667
      @rebeccareed667 Місяць тому

      @@Kris_Reece Thank you for this Godly advise!

    • @seaglasscolor
      @seaglasscolor Місяць тому

      Just laugh!

    • @mrslavanderblu
      @mrslavanderblu Місяць тому +1

      Are narcissists raised and trained by other narcissists? I think my husband’s father taught him to be this way.

    • @mrslavanderblu
      @mrslavanderblu Місяць тому

      As far as working through issues, what to do when they won’t work through issues with you. How do you do this?

  • @knightlight2627
    @knightlight2627 Місяць тому +329

    Narcissists rewrite history to escape accountability.

    • @elizabethbarefoot1111
      @elizabethbarefoot1111 Місяць тому +14

      This!!!! My ex thinks we got divorced bc I stopped loving him. Has nothing to do with him breaking my arms and ribs and putting me and my 4 kids in financial ruin. Nothing to do with him going to prison for theft bc he can’t provide. They are monsters.

    • @berenc7619
      @berenc7619 Місяць тому

      @@knightlight2627 they only rewrite history that will hold them accountable.

    • @berenc7619
      @berenc7619 Місяць тому +4

      @@knightlight2627 and that still backfires on them - in the worst way .😎✌️

    • @zepgirl6495
      @zepgirl6495 28 днів тому +2

      @@knightlight2627 That is so, so true!!

    • @katturner1
      @katturner1 28 днів тому +4

      BEAUTIFUL QUOTE! May I repeat it? I'll give you credit, of course.

  • @marionclark
    @marionclark Місяць тому +143

    A Narcissist cannot experience joy and he makes sure that those closest to him don’t experience joy.

    • @eg4151
      @eg4151 26 днів тому

      @@marionclark
      👍

    • @jinaking3376
      @jinaking3376 22 дні тому +10

      That's so true! You'll end up joyless and depressed. Then you will look around and say, what just happened here! SMH

    • @marionclark
      @marionclark 22 дні тому +1

      @@jinaking3376
      Exactly!

    • @janiceteasley732
      @janiceteasley732 17 днів тому +1

      True

    • @madamany888
      @madamany888 16 днів тому +5

      They’ll sell their soul to make sure you experience pure HELL!!!

  • @saturdayschild8535
    @saturdayschild8535 Місяць тому +559

    Narcissists will claim you are accusing them when you confront them with the truth of their actions. Don’t ever argue with them. They just want your energy and to wreck you emotionally.
    Let them believe what they want. They will do that anyway. Disengaging will save your sanity.

    • @Kris_Reece
      @Kris_Reece  Місяць тому +41

      Exactly!

    • @user-re4yz2iz7r
      @user-re4yz2iz7r Місяць тому +9

      I agree and I went from a Borderline to a Narcissist and I am such a mess. It became almost the same dynamic but just different enough to throw me off and delude myself from believing I was with a Narc.

    • @thinkitnotstrange
      @thinkitnotstrange Місяць тому

      Narcissist are trolls and once you find that out they don’t have to wreck your emotions. Now I agree every conversation you have with them you don’t need to feed into but I look at how Jesus handled His trolls the Scribes and the Pharisees in John 8 and each time He told them the truth and let them make of it what they will. In that chapter alone He addressed lies, accusations and told them who their father was- the devil and all of that was done in truth. Now yes, I believe we are not to start any arguments, Jesus never did, but are to speak as the Holy Spirit leads us and how He leads us to speak, not to convince or make anybody do or believe anything but to present the truth and if they don’t want to accept it, then knock the dust off your shoes and keep moving as Jesus said to do.

    • @truthorconsequences5470
      @truthorconsequences5470 Місяць тому +5

      ​@@Kris_ReeceKim, you should clean up your channel. Above this comment is one of those scammers trying to get money out of your viewers -- why don't you delete and block these ppl???

    • @endtimesarehere1322
      @endtimesarehere1322 Місяць тому +15

      A narcissist will never want to get help because only you need help.

  • @GS-qd1lt
    @GS-qd1lt Місяць тому +846

    FYI, I am divorced and still sad for 50 years, but I HAD to share....... the last thing he said to me was, " the reason this marriage failed, is because YOU stopped trying"..... but my experience only drew me closer and closer to my Lord, Amen......

    • @Bila-hu4qw
      @Bila-hu4qw Місяць тому +41

      Praying for your complete healing.

    • @GS-qd1lt
      @GS-qd1lt Місяць тому +39

      @@Bila-hu4qw thank you! I actually feel healed and now I can pray for others to get out now!🥰😇

    • @rosannearcher6706
      @rosannearcher6706 Місяць тому +37

      45 years for me, yes it's exhausting. Praise God I have support and a daily peace with my heavenly Father.... healing will take time for as long as we need.

    • @BigRebel0802
      @BigRebel0802 Місяць тому +4

      😜🤮🤪🙏

    • @SweepTheLeg2023
      @SweepTheLeg2023 Місяць тому +45

      ❤✝ “When darkness overtakes the righteous, light will come bursting in.” Psalm 112:4

  • @leonapietsch4367
    @leonapietsch4367 Місяць тому +206

    Don’t ever trust them. Go no contact. Trust God. Live your best life living like Jesus. ✝️

    • @billstewart1747
      @billstewart1747 Місяць тому +7

      One year no contact with mom. It’s been amazing 🎉

    • @smile-tweetybird1151
      @smile-tweetybird1151 Місяць тому +2

      this does not sound healthy

    • @ClaireGraceMarshall-jr5mm
      @ClaireGraceMarshall-jr5mm Місяць тому +5

      There is absolutely nothing healthy about narcissism or narcissists, I learned never to get into an argument with my mother, it's just pointless

    • @jinaking3376
      @jinaking3376 22 дні тому

      Amen and Amen!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • @trishbartlett2569
      @trishbartlett2569 3 дні тому +1

      14 months now No Contact at all with ex husband. Peace at last….

  • @Summ3r010
    @Summ3r010 Місяць тому +352

    Narcissists actually Never win, they just remain "Lost".

    • @mistiquefire3462
      @mistiquefire3462 Місяць тому +8

      Oh they win alright but are sickos

    • @kre8504
      @kre8504 Місяць тому

      @@Summ3r010 They are perpetual cheaters, & only in their twisted mind are the winners. They view everyone as their slaves: & finding an example of it online, revealed it to me. Their heads are screwed on backwards. Unfortunately, they are deceptive in their dealings with people & their sources of supply are blinded to the image they project onto their targets, which is their actual image of themselves.

    • @Summ3r010
      @Summ3r010 Місяць тому +18

      @@mistiquefire3462 What exactly do they win? When ultimately they never gain a driplet of peace.

    • @44ARISEandSHINE44
      @44ARISEandSHINE44 Місяць тому +26

      @@Summ3r010 What they win is temporary. They win support, sometimes money, other things they want etc... but it won't last forever and God will make sure it doesn't.

    • @EricK-nm2gg
      @EricK-nm2gg Місяць тому +25

      @@Summ3r010they don’t want peace, they want chaos. Although their soul desperately wants peace, they have no relationship with their soul. So they are lost souls, and everyone in their path will suffer from their lack of humanity.

  • @laurelletieman4943
    @laurelletieman4943 Місяць тому +462

    There are many narc-knowledgable people on youtube, but I need this Christian perspective! Thank you, Chris!

    • @angelaharris1112
      @angelaharris1112 Місяць тому +16

      Yesss. This is
      what I needed
      most. ❤

    • @stevev2292
      @stevev2292 Місяць тому +42

      Yes, she is the best source of information about narcissism from a Christian perspective that I have found. Yes, others may profess to be Christians (and probably many actually are) but she is the only one I've found who actually addresses it as foundationally being a spiritual issue and she uses many scripture verses to explain her point from the Word of God. Most other sources feel more like self-help with a splash of Christian-ese sprinkled on top (which sometimes feels more like just taking advantage of marketing to a larger Christian audience). But I'd rather take advice from God's Word and she helps me see what God has to say about these issues and then she gives me explanations of how to apply this wisdom (from God) to my life. So thankful for her Spirit-led ministry!

    • @Kris_Reece
      @Kris_Reece  Місяць тому +21

      Thank you!

    • @Kris_Reece
      @Kris_Reece  Місяць тому +21

      @@stevev2292 I'm so glad you're being blessed by the content :)

    • @Groundwater24
      @Groundwater24 Місяць тому

      @@Kris_Reece your video about ‘8 demonic signs’ is currently showing 1-2-3-4-5-6-6-6. Rather than 1-8 if that makes sense?

  • @DYoung2112
    @DYoung2112 Місяць тому +213

    Sometimes its better to say nothing rather than say something that an adversary could later use against you.

    • @user-re4yz2iz7r
      @user-re4yz2iz7r Місяць тому +13

      True but then they will bate you with something like your being an avoidant but you claim you are not. Or then if you don't have anything to say then they assume you are guilty of what they accuse you of.

    • @DYoung2112
      @DYoung2112 Місяць тому

      @@user-re4yz2iz7r //they assume you are guilty of what they accuse you of.//let them assume what they want.Its not possible to control what what other people think so better not try in the first place,with any luck they will go away.But I realize its not that easy for someone who is living with a bully who maybe their spouse/sibling/parent etc.If you are then maybe moving out/throwing them out is the best thing to do

    • @lorrainemagarian2677
      @lorrainemagarian2677 Місяць тому

      Which narcissists do all the time. They collect fodder to wage their warfare.

    • @Deborah-uw5ip
      @Deborah-uw5ip Місяць тому

      @@user-re4yz2iz7r I confess: I'm totally avoidant when it comes to them! They don't realize they repel people away from them with their behaviors. Or maybe they do realize & do it on purpose? IDK but remind myself that what they think and say belongs to THEM. It's their stuff. I now choose to leave others' stuff on their shoulders. Give it to God and let it go. Continue to be civil and as kind as I can muster bc that's what's in my control.

    • @christy1768
      @christy1768 29 днів тому +1

      Yeah and some will nit pick you for not saying anything. Have had it happen. I just say ok now bc it's not agreeing. It's simply acknowledging.

  • @lilhoss1
    @lilhoss1 Місяць тому +130

    After years of abuse, I won't tolerate a narcissist. I close the door never to return.

    • @celestial_s
      @celestial_s Місяць тому +2

      Yeah i'm done with them no more bs.

    • @mamajan99
      @mamajan99 Місяць тому +3

      Trying to "fix" a narc is a symptom of one's own issues, from what I have seen. Likely a bit of co-dependency.

  • @Emily_Paris
    @Emily_Paris Місяць тому +257

    Because I left my ex husband due to emotional/mental/physical abuse(he caused acid reflux and vomiting) he said I abandoned him. Truth is, he emotionally abandoned me way before I left. I was just a doormat and a trash can to him. Freedom is good.

    • @JimboBaker
      @JimboBaker Місяць тому +16

      Amen! Only in reverse! You just described my ex-wife other than the physical abuse. I’ve had numerous surgeries on my GI tract, including the Lap Niessen for excessive acid reflux. Also, as a typical Type A personality and exuding confidence when I met her in 1994, I dealt with severe depression in 2006 and again from 2012-2021. Even though I loathe divorce, in general, and made my ex promise me that she would never seek a divorce before I’d even propose to her, I am SO thankful that God allowed me to be removed from my marriage.

    • @carolcollins6243
      @carolcollins6243 Місяць тому +7

      I needed this today. First my daughter earlier today, then someone this evening who I knew was a problem. I should never have told the 2nd person about the issue I had with my daughter earlier because then the 2nd person used that to prove that I have the problem with communication, not him.

    • @yvetteandjorgenlarsen9753
      @yvetteandjorgenlarsen9753 Місяць тому +5

      You understand! God bless you

    • @mamajan99
      @mamajan99 Місяць тому +10

      I am so sorry. My wife had that for a father. A person would be in prison today if that were done to a child. Humans are a mess. We need Christ's hope of salvation. He understands. He was severely abused by the Narcs in His day.

    • @docdr6781
      @docdr6781 Місяць тому +5

      @emily_paris part of my story verbatim. I do not like it at all; we left 1 month ago. Lord please comfort

  • @di4085
    @di4085 Місяць тому +97

    Save your breath. They will always have the last say. Don't take the bait when they provoke you. They truly wear you out. It's not worth it. Let God deal with them.

  • @gregtheresadahl
    @gregtheresadahl Місяць тому +78

    I was a narcissist but then I got saved and now 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 is my litmus test. I have memorized and play this verse in my mind often. Being a servant brakes the sin of narcissisms. I don't have to win anymore. Thank you Jesus!

    • @cindyhuerta6877
      @cindyhuerta6877 20 днів тому +2

      @@gregtheresadahl that makes total sense to me, thanks for sharing. What has come to my mind to respond to my husband is when the Lord says in Scripture the one that serves others is the greatest. Of course I'm not planning to say that in a discussion.

    • @gregtheresadahl
      @gregtheresadahl 20 днів тому

      @cindyhuerta6877 my book is coming out soon for purchase but if your husband would read it I can email you a copy for free. It is entitled "In search of reality". Just need you email.

    • @charitymokeira
      @charitymokeira 18 днів тому

      @@gregtheresadahl ameeen

    • @TrackLives_Matter
      @TrackLives_Matter 17 днів тому +2

      Amen 🙏

    • @judielise
      @judielise 15 днів тому

      d_🎉d_D😢🎉Ddd😢d 13:43 * 13:43 ddd 13:53 $fd* 13:59 **_¥%•¥ __14:12__ zzyRdz____14:29__ z __14:29__ z🎉 __14:34__ as___14:35__ z __14:38__ ___14:38__ __14:38__ ___14:38__ d __14:40__ z __14:40__ __14:43__ z___14:43__ z__*_zRzz_14:55 *_d

  • @thewhatsup
    @thewhatsup Місяць тому +131

    The hard part for me is the irrational arguments that catch me off guard. When it isn’t even an arguing issue.

    • @kennybrooks8374
      @kennybrooks8374 Місяць тому +4

      Same

    • @SherryG370
      @SherryG370 Місяць тому +2

      That's why I won"t respond back till I take a step back....then I give a one text response...and let it go.

    • @thewhatsup
      @thewhatsup Місяць тому +6

      @@SherryG370 I wish our correspondence was limited to text. In person harassment can happen all throughout the day just as they walk through a room.

    • @SherryG370
      @SherryG370 Місяць тому

      @@thewhatsup This is a co worker you are dealing with?

    • @thewhatsup
      @thewhatsup Місяць тому

      @@SherryG370 no, family.

  • @cherylvanesch3086
    @cherylvanesch3086 Місяць тому +179

    “Fighting a Fight that doesn’t exist” well put

  • @wisemanadvices9541
    @wisemanadvices9541 Місяць тому +161

    I don't know why I am watching this? 🤣🤣I have kicked the narcissists out of my life.. And they also discarded me.. And Now I am dancing💃🕺🕺👯👯👯👯👯💃💃💃

    • @Coolingfin
      @Coolingfin Місяць тому

      Because you are a demon possedsed closet case stalker perhaps? Need a ride to McLean? Call Uber.

    • @arlenepallett7146
      @arlenepallett7146 Місяць тому +13

      @wisemanadvices9541 don't worry, you'll keep running into them! In new forms of course, be it neighbors, co-workers, family, bosses so on and so on!😏🫡best wishes!

    • @wisemanadvices9541
      @wisemanadvices9541 Місяць тому

      @@arlenepallett7146 why should I ? when I know I am healed or healing and know about narc abuse.

    • @soniaflores1046
      @soniaflores1046 Місяць тому

      @@wisemanadvices9541 yes be careful u might attract them. It took me some year to realize I had second narcissist in my life. The more you learn the more you can protect your mental

    • @bettydoughtery3920
      @bettydoughtery3920 Місяць тому +5

      Bravo, but keep an eye out...

  • @sharondoan1447
    @sharondoan1447 Місяць тому +104

    After 44 years of my husband’s toxic behavior, I have come to dislike even the sound of his voice. He is a narcissist. In our younger years, he cussed constantly about every small incident. His glasses fell off the desk as he was reaching for them. He regaled the whole house with his profanity. Has always prided himself on never raising a hand to me, feels like a saint in that regard. According to him the fits of instant anger were always due to job pressures, people cutting him off in traffic, failure of equipment to function properly, long list of “ justifications”. None of those were anything but a failure of his self control and respect for anyone within hearing distance. I gave up on having the happy marriage we might have had long ago. Now I am keeping to myself as much as possible. He says, “ I love you” at least 20 times a day. It’s a bargaining tool the narcissist uses.

    • @usernameanonymous158
      @usernameanonymous158 Місяць тому +15

      @@sharondoan1447 😢 I am so sorry you have had to go through this...

    • @sharondoan1447
      @sharondoan1447 Місяць тому +8

      @@usernameanonymous158 Thank you for your kind words.

    • @kareninman2865
      @kareninman2865 Місяць тому +4

      Thank you Thank you thank you!

    • @ARKH76
      @ARKH76 Місяць тому +8

      48 years yesterday! No 'I LOVE YOU' in 15 years!

    • @LisaMQuinn
      @LisaMQuinn Місяць тому +11

      42 years in, hiding in Italy..
      By myself...🎉

  • @amypemberton528
    @amypemberton528 Місяць тому +94

    I found the result of arguing with a narcissist to be less successful than trying to nail applesauce to a wall.

    • @amypemberton528
      @amypemberton528 Місяць тому +2

      @@jasonm4927, I’m sorry you’ve experienced the presence of a narcissist. Healing takes a long time, but climbing into God’s lap, when memories painfully flare, has brought me back to His peace. I pray you find your peace. In the mean time, I’m happy to have given you a reason to laugh.❤️

    • @amypemberton528
      @amypemberton528 Місяць тому

      @@jasonm4927, you’re very welcome! Supporting each other, we can take a victory away from the enemy and give it to God.
      I was married to a narcissist for 25 years. Unfortunately, I didn’t learn about narcissism until just before I started my divorce. For all those years, I had the misguided notion I was responsible for making him happy and thought he would be-if I just worked increasingly harder. I also refused to give up because I believed God would change him. And then one morning, I heard God say, “You cannot do what I sent you to do if you stay where you are.”
      Being completely transparent with you, I admit I still have times I believe I should have tried harder, but there was truly nothing left for me to try. And you’re correct! There’s SO MUCH to learn from our experiences! My relationship with God has grown enormously and I have grown in necessary and beneficial ways as well.
      I have found happiness in a quiet life. And today I found happiness in comments from a fellow survivor. Life IS good.❤️

  • @missAKfam
    @missAKfam Місяць тому +69

    They love to attack the things that you hold true about yourself. Integrity, respect, dignity etc. That’s why you find yourself arguing because at least for me I feel like I need to defend the values I hold dear about myself which is why the longer you remain in a narcissistic relationship you will begin to lose the best of who you are. Get out. It’s not worth it.

    • @Vgaf99
      @Vgaf99 26 днів тому

      Thank you, this is true!

    • @livingforChrist
      @livingforChrist 24 дні тому

      Ain’t this true!!!?
      He would always try to put me down saying this Cristin life wasn’t helping me, that I was still the same person, that I wasn’t a good Cristian, when in reality he was just projecting himself. After 3 years he finally confessed he’s always been a fake Christian in front of my eyes, I was like you think I didn’t know that? 🤦🏻‍♀️

  • @anitarose7915
    @anitarose7915 Місяць тому +102

    And as a Christian, we are told to forgive, and yes, he pulled this guilt trip with me. So, I told him, "Yes, I do forgive you! That is not the issue. It is a matter of the 'Content of Your Character' that is the issue!"

    • @rosannearcher6706
      @rosannearcher6706 Місяць тому +9

      Yes we work on forgiveness but we DO NOT have to stay and remember it's not your fault or responsibility on how they chose to live

    • @anacardinale5769
      @anacardinale5769 Місяць тому +11

      Forgiveness sets us free to let God handle the justice His way. But no way does forgiveness mean reconciliation. Walk away.

    • @Lauren-vd4qe
      @Lauren-vd4qe Місяць тому +16

      i forgive you, now im going to totally avoid you

    • @farmland-life
      @farmland-life Місяць тому +10

      @@anitarose7915 Not even God forgives a person who never repents.

    • @SierraNovemberKilo
      @SierraNovemberKilo Місяць тому +3

      @@anitarose7915 Please stop thinking you have to "forgive" someone else. Forgiveness is something that you apply to yourself. That is, forgive yourself for being deceived. Walk away from the lying, abusing individual and let God judge - as it is only God that judges. Repent your "gullibility" or what ever word you want to call it, promise God you are going to take your lesson and be a better person.

  • @danielbridgewater3444
    @danielbridgewater3444 Місяць тому +153

    I have found in my own experience that it's way more productive to argue with a fence post.

    • @Coolingfin
      @Coolingfin Місяць тому +5

      @@danielbridgewater3444 herding cats😁

    • @ewilson1392
      @ewilson1392 Місяць тому +2

      😂😂😅

    • @toninevitt8860
      @toninevitt8860 Місяць тому +2

      😂

    • @yvetteandjorgenlarsen9753
      @yvetteandjorgenlarsen9753 Місяць тому +2

      There's really not a lot of upside to arguing in the first place

    • @Coolingfin
      @Coolingfin Місяць тому +1

      @@yvetteandjorgenlarsen9753 You are correct. I see Daniel finding humor in the situation, which can be healthy. Trying to reason with the unreasonable, if you can't laugh you can go insane.

  • @peggywheeler5118
    @peggywheeler5118 Місяць тому +47

    After leaving a narcissist husband after 25 years, the pastor said, ‘it’s about holiness not happiness’. At that point, I didn’t say anything. The pastor had no idea what was going on behind closed doors. I saw the toll his controlling, emotional abuse took on me and the kids. Of course, he was the victim since I was the one who left. Classic!

    • @lcook3528
      @lcook3528 Місяць тому +5

      I'm sorry for you...but good you are free. Most pastors don't have a clue how to handle these types. Best to seek out advice from a well informed Christian counselor....like Kris.

    • @sharondoan1447
      @sharondoan1447 Місяць тому

      I commend you for your courage. The millions of women who are told and have been told that it is their fault if a man is a narcissist , a cheater, a gambler, a pornography addict , a drunk, a liar, you name it. Christian counseling will inevitably place heavy burdens on the woman who is the abused. The Bible seems to support this.

    • @maryohare4141
      @maryohare4141 Місяць тому +2

      @@peggywheeler5118 I saw that nuns and priests often came from a home with a very domineering parent...and entered into catholic training in their teens. So no dating years, no realistic romantic relationships within their own life. I have met those who have psychology degrees DO recognize abusive or domineering personalities...but have also been indocrinated to "encourage marriages are lifetime commitments...no divorces. " BUT GOD CREATED YOU, HAS PLANS FOR YOUR LIFE...AND WOULD NEVER WANT YOU TO BE ABUSED, MENTALLY OR EMOTIONALLY BATTERED...SO LOVE GOD AND LOVE AND PROTECT YOURSELF...RESPECT LIFE...INCLUDES YOUR OWN LIFE, TOO!

  • @angietorok8389
    @angietorok8389 Місяць тому +90

    After 54 years, I'm finally at a place with my Mom where I accept that she will never change. I've just decided to take this relationship for what it is. I want to follow the Biblical command to respect her, so I make a point of helping her when it is reasonable to do so. I also make an effort not to complain to others about her, especially our mutual acquaintances. They'd never understand it anyway. At this point, since my enabling father has passed and I'm the only child still speaking to her, she's lost a lot of her sting. For the first time in my life, through the grace of Christ, I actually feel compassion for her. After all, who knows what happened to make her such a mess? I pray for her Salvation. Its in God's hands.

    • @bellabarro6881
      @bellabarro6881 Місяць тому +6

      @@angietorok8389 well said, and a good place to be. I am in a similar situation with my husband. 48 years, and finally, not angry at him, but, I try to help him when I can and do for myself what I need. God bless you, sister, keep running the race, and eyes fixed on Jesus, is my heart

    • @hollikrebs
      @hollikrebs Місяць тому +2

      You’ve come over the hill and you’ve got peace.

    • @kmbpookyify
      @kmbpookyify Місяць тому +1

      @@angietorok8389 Glad you took the high road…..it is what God loves about you. Just knowing you are doing Gods will should calm and keep you. God Bless You 🙏🏼

    • @angietorok8389
      @angietorok8389 Місяць тому

      @@bellabarro6881 You are obviously strong in your faith. The Lord will bless you for it.

    • @angelabritten48
      @angelabritten48 Місяць тому +1

      Well done, that is love in action. You may well lead her to Jesus. ❤

  • @EC-yd9yv
    @EC-yd9yv Місяць тому +29

    “Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you yourself will be just like him” (Proverbs 26:4). How Does ...

  • @Ann-vp6cq
    @Ann-vp6cq Місяць тому +165

    And it all boils down to control with a narcissist.

    • @tmking7483
      @tmking7483 Місяць тому +3

      "Boil" is the key word
      "Anger" disguised as "Compassion"

    • @user-re4yz2iz7r
      @user-re4yz2iz7r Місяць тому +5

      Yup they are very controlling and they will also accuse you of being controlling. I have been accused of all the things the narc I just left did to me. Now she is hoovering me bad and I am going to have to cut ties soon for my own sanity and so I can heal once again. I already spent many years with a Borderline and was already damaged enough.

    • @mamajan99
      @mamajan99 Місяць тому +2

      Narcissist most extreme control is murder. The second is not telling the family were the body is.

  • @juanderuano8969
    @juanderuano8969 Місяць тому +411

    A captivating video summary, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.

    • @elladonaldson-lh6nc
      @elladonaldson-lh6nc Місяць тому

      its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let him go i did all i could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back

    • @juanderuano8969
      @juanderuano8969 Місяць тому +1

      Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her?

    • @elladonaldson-lh6nc
      @elladonaldson-lh6nc Місяць тому +3

      Her name is Suzanne Ann Walters , and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.

    • @juanderuano8969
      @juanderuano8969 Місяць тому

      Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive

    • @Booboonancy
      @Booboonancy Місяць тому +2

      LOL

  • @ChineseChicken1
    @ChineseChicken1 Місяць тому +23

    "Don't Join them on that playground", because that's what they are, grown up children.

    • @hollikrebs
      @hollikrebs Місяць тому +1

      I think they can inherit it and learn it from how they were raised being abused but excusing them and smoothing things over for them doesn’t help them

  • @melissadykstra5921
    @melissadykstra5921 Місяць тому +25

    You just described my entire marriage!!! If only I had understood many years ago what was going on…. I had no clue.
    Nearly two decades later I’m starting to get the memo: he doesn’t care about you, is incapable of love, and it’s not my fault that EVERYTHING is turned into an argument 😢😢😢
    If only I knew that I was not crazy…

  • @paulapatino4834
    @paulapatino4834 Місяць тому +12

    The best we can do with a Narcissist is AVOID THEM FOREVER!!!!! No matter who they are (family, friends, etc).

  • @earthangel8875
    @earthangel8875 Місяць тому +68

    Thank you, ladies, great video. I started using boundaries and speaking them to my mother. It doesn't work, but at that moment when I say, If you continue to make derogatory remarks about my wife, I will leave. My mother dismisses what I said, so I walk out the door. I do the same thing when we talk on the phone. I hang up.
    She twists everything around and says I am treating her like a child. Then she mocks me in a weird voice and says she's not a child, "If I don't do this I will do that" She says that in a weird, taunting voice as if she was a 12-year-old child on a playground. Well, I am not. I am a grown man now and I don't play those games anymore.
    It has taken me a few years to make my boundaries and Stick to them. She raised me (only child) to not be disrespectful. She says I was being disrespectful and I felt guilty at first....but not anymore. She is the one that is disRespecting me.
    Our relationship has diminished but I now have Peace of Mind knowing what I am dealing with. I don't know what happened to my mother. She is not the same. I suspect her Narc ways mixed with some type of brain disease dementia or Alzheimer's is a very bad combination.
    It has taken me a while to learn how to stop defending myself, but now that my eyes are open and with prayer for protection before I talk to her on the phone. I no longer take the bait, like I used to. She can no longer steal my energy away from me and it feels good to say that.
    Big thanks to Jesus and the therapist I have been talking to regarding my narc mother for 2 yrs. I am living my best life now. Thank you for sharing this video. It gives me confirmation that I am handling myself properly. MountainAngel

    • @usernameanonymous158
      @usernameanonymous158 Місяць тому +4

      @@earthangel8875 thank you for your openness!! 🙏🏻

    • @sandrathomas2893
      @sandrathomas2893 Місяць тому +5

      I have the same Mom. It's the Jezebel spirit. I've learned how to shut it right down. They always generalize. Like my Mom will say, you've always been disrespectful to me. So I'll say please name exactly what I said or did specifically that was disrespectful. Then she'll spin it or go off topic....
      And I'll say, when you can stick to the topic at hand and answer the question I'll continue the conversation but until then I'm ending it.
      Then she'll dial all my siblings and smear me and say she's worried I have mental issues.
      I respond to my siblings, she's entitled to her own opinion, but I don't allow her to gossip about you to me for the record.
      The goal is to pull you into their black hole and keep you in the fight! 🙄

    • @user-yn7on7ou8n
      @user-yn7on7ou8n Місяць тому +1

      @@earthangel8875 So happy for you. 🙂

    • @earthangel8875
      @earthangel8875 Місяць тому +3

      I would also like to add that my mother used to make me feel very "guilty" saying we are the only family we have here. So I never left the Bay Area because I didn't want to leave her alone.
      That has changed. After a few years of weighing out the Pros & Cons and reaching out to various programs the Silicon Valley has to offer to Seniors and Independent living, example: IHSS (In Home Support Services)
      My wife of 26 yrs and I bought some rural mountain property (3 acres) I did my in-depth research. We are only 2.5 hrs away from my mother and a 1-hour flight should I need to get to her quickly should I "need" too.
      I tried to tell my mother we were interested in a property months ago (4 months from today 07-22-24) I tried to show her photos of the property on my laptop so she could see it, thinking she would be happy for us?
      She wanted NOTHING to do with looking at the photos I was so excited to share. She became upset, so she didn't hear a thing I said.
      I will admit it was not a good feeling for me. What was "I" thinking? Did I really think she would express any type of happiness and pride knowing we were going to buy a nice property?
      I never got to explain in detail. Instead I closed my laptop and left with my tail between my legs, but she didn't know it. I didn't show any type of emotion.
      She would have known how I felt if she would have looked at me, but she didn't. She gave me her back instead.
      I tried many times to interest her in a safe Senior Independent living situation but it fell on deaf ears.
      So I continued to do what I set my mind out to do. Contact Movers and make arrangements to move my wife and I to a more peaceful town with a population of 1,000 and the rest is history as of June 04, 2024
      We couldn't be happier. I couldn't be happier. Now, when I speak to my mother I keep it short. She has no idea I don't live 8 minutes away anymore.
      I don't want to tell her yet, not yet.
      I do keep an eye on things from afar through her doctors and the internet. I make sure she pays her bills with casual gentle reminders.
      I also pray a lot. She has always been an Independent woman. It's "Her" way or NO way, so be it. As long as she is content and not hurting herself or anyone else.
      Let me tell you I have not slept better in ALL my life. I have Peace, Peace of Mind, and Tranquility here in this small, slow, rural mountain area on 3 beautiful acres that resemble some of the parks in the Bay Area.
      I never thought I could leave the same city my mother lived in, but I did because "I" put Me first. "I" did what I thought was best for my wife and I.
      ......All the glory goes to God for giving me the strength and opportunity to buy this home.
      *Guilt Free MountainAngel formally Angel from The Bay

    • @sandrathomas2893
      @sandrathomas2893 Місяць тому +2

      @@earthangel8875 F.O.G.
      fear obligation and guilt

  • @sayno2672
    @sayno2672 Місяць тому +47

    My sister in law is a covert narcissist. I overheard when she was talking to my husband how she crush the people she doesn't like. She said that she would observe the person to find out the weakness in the person and strike that when the person is the most vulnerable. That's how I found out who I have been dealing with.

    • @sharonf3321
      @sharonf3321 Місяць тому +11

      She may be beyond a covert narcissist... maybe a psychopath? That is predatory behavior.

    • @sayno2672
      @sayno2672 Місяць тому +3

      @@sharonf3321 that was also what cross my mind at first, but I can’t tell if she has that personality. She is very smart academically which makes her pretty successful for what she does. She can be very sweet to people she likes to hang out. She loves own children and nieces and nephews. Unfortunately I am who she doesn’t like.

    • @sharonf3321
      @sharonf3321 Місяць тому +2

      @@sayno2672 I'm sorry you are going through this. It's strange she told your husband that... not very covert of her. They usually want to appear nice, and lie even to themselves that they are good. Psychopaths truly believe themselves to be superior, so can actually be quite open (bragging) about their psycho behavior. I hope you can stay out of her path as much as possible. 🙏💌

    • @Lauren-vd4qe
      @Lauren-vd4qe Місяць тому +6

      thats literally witch craft, use 2 Tim 3 and AVOID her totally, going forward.

    • @sayno2672
      @sayno2672 Місяць тому +2

      @@sharonf3321 thank you so much for kind words. I paid the price for setting the boundary to her, but now I finally able to take care of myself.

  • @carolhill8917
    @carolhill8917 Місяць тому +36

    A "friend" comes to mind during this video. With the twisting of words, accusing me of being rude when I'm healthily interrupting for clarity, also being accused of wanting to argue and humiliated me with others of telling them that we argue a lot.....we don't, well, a few times in beginning until I realized a deja vù in a significant relationship.
    I'm practicing a healthy boundary approach. I'm too old (66) for this. "Been there, NOT going back"
    Too exhausting. I don't want health problems, or increase, with dealing with narcisstic persons.
    Too exhausting. Waste of precious time.

  • @user-jt5nx8su5z
    @user-jt5nx8su5z Місяць тому +67

    I am labelled HYPERTENSIVE because of this demon I am living with!! My pressure plummeted in just two years!! It's so difficult living with this TOXIC DEMON

    • @gwdavey
      @gwdavey Місяць тому

      @@user-jt5nx8su5z why do you stay?

    • @laura3458
      @laura3458 Місяць тому +6

      ..I understand you.. I was there… but I got closer and closer to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and I have peace, joy, happiness in Him. He really gives my strength and inner peace.. and I’m winning!!😊🙏👍❤️

    • @kareninman2865
      @kareninman2865 Місяць тому +1

      Yes it is.

    • @courtneyshephard5875
      @courtneyshephard5875 Місяць тому +9

      Yes I totally understand mine is a very toxic demon who is mentally abusing. I’m trying to find a way to escape I no longer have any love for him. He is draining the life out of me!

    • @endtimesarehere1322
      @endtimesarehere1322 Місяць тому +3

      Demon is what I have my ex-wife programmed in my phone as.

  • @miownleyhope2473
    @miownleyhope2473 Місяць тому +43

    Nailed it. I forgive, pray, and release him to God. Trust is NEVER coming back, never ever. 5 years in from setting boundaries and he hasn't tried to fix anything, so boundaries stay in place. And waaay too much time has passrd now for even repentence to undo some of the damage. Breaks my heart and soul, so I can image what it's doing to God's. God have mercy.

  • @michelelewis5666
    @michelelewis5666 8 днів тому +4

    Don’t argue with a narcissist? You can’t even have a normal conversation with them. It’s only ever telling them your boundaries and giving only necessary information.

  • @rebeccacraig1038
    @rebeccacraig1038 Місяць тому +34

    They never want to discuss the past and how they hurt you ever but they will always and forever hold anything you did in the past against you. Mine did it to me. Told his fan club one reason he wanted divorce was because of something I did 6 yrs prior to us getting married. But now I see whatever his reason, this was God’s rescuing for me and I am so grateful. This relationship was killing me!!

    • @hollikrebs
      @hollikrebs Місяць тому +3

      They have a double standard but if you point it out they deny and twist the conversation

    • @Marshmellow-u9h
      @Marshmellow-u9h Місяць тому

      So why did he marry you if the thing you supposed did 6 years prior to him is a concerns... they are sooo messed up! The earth needs ourgung of these kinds they are next level earth devils

    • @justjulie43
      @justjulie43 Місяць тому

      ​@@hollikrebs Yep and you get a free lecture

  • @christy1768
    @christy1768 29 днів тому +6

    Silence can also make it worse. A simple "ok" is sometimes best. Also, a blank stair while blinking a few times and not saying anything might make them reconsider. I don't know why, but it does work.

  • @hanichay1163
    @hanichay1163 Місяць тому +89

    I don’t even want my opinions valued. I just want them to quit attacking and shaming me for my beliefs and forcing their all new ideologies on me.

    • @angelaharris1112
      @angelaharris1112 Місяць тому +5

      Right. Wouldn't that be great!

    • @Lauren-vd4qe
      @Lauren-vd4qe Місяць тому +5

      then avoid them

    • @SharonKrause-ls3lw
      @SharonKrause-ls3lw Місяць тому +7

      Difficult if married to them.

    • @milycortes-ruiz3536
      @milycortes-ruiz3536 Місяць тому

      They won’t. Bottom line the narcissist, will weaponize our needs and out points of view against us…

    • @hanichay1163
      @hanichay1163 13 днів тому

      Or if they are your own child

  • @imago9059
    @imago9059 Місяць тому +83

    I no longer argue. I just say "let's agree to disagree". Period. And if it continues I walk away.

    • @mamajan99
      @mamajan99 Місяць тому +5

      YES! The "NEED" to find agreement is often very toxic, for both parties.

    • @Trueheart123
      @Trueheart123 Місяць тому +3

      @@imago9059 I've tried that with a few of them and it only makes them angrier. They want us to agree and there is no other way about it. Not arguing with them is definitely the right thing to do.

    • @user-re4yz2iz7r
      @user-re4yz2iz7r Місяць тому +1

      How do you handle false accusations?

    • @Trueheart123
      @Trueheart123 Місяць тому

      @@user-re4yz2iz7r when you are the one against the army, there's not a whole lot you can do. It's been some years for me now and it's in all the towns around. It can be very hard and very hurtful, but God will give you Peace if you ask him. I know he will vindicate me when the time is right. If it wasn't for God, I would not be here. Guaranteed!♥️🙏

    • @sparkle6258
      @sparkle6258 Місяць тому

      @@user-re4yz2iz7r Yes, I was told by the narcissist, "Let's agree to disagree." But, what that meant to the narcissist was that I should be agreeing with her false accusations against me, i.e., her smear campaign. Nope, couldn't let that one go. It defied logic and reasoning and sparked my dying relative to spend precious time trying to "make peace." But, of course, logic, reason, and "making peace" mean nothing to a narcissist.

  • @fratzogmopars
    @fratzogmopars Місяць тому +58

    Wow, this description of what narcissists do perfectly fits the crew that is running our country.

  • @created4passion442
    @created4passion442 Місяць тому +182

    The church world has been duped into thinking that toxic forgiveness and toxic trust should be allowed. They kind of have a be a doormat theology

    • @KRzzzzzzzz
      @KRzzzzzzzz Місяць тому +22

      I had a lay counselor at church and she absolutely did not comprehend that my spouse is a narcissist AND she made me feel guilty for no longer wanting to put up with it

    • @cherylvanesch3086
      @cherylvanesch3086 Місяць тому +29

      Some in the church also allow toxic, Lording-over, worldly, carnal, wicked “Leadership”, instead of biblical humble, servant, Christlike leadership by men.

    • @lizabuckingham9586
      @lizabuckingham9586 Місяць тому +22

      Not all. We had a situation in our church where the leaders took the Biblical approach and confronted the perpetrator as directed, starting with Mathew 18:15. Other local church leaders did the same. The perpetrator did not repent, so we are now working on nurturing the victims and maintaining boundaries that the perpetrator earned.

    • @RonitPirtle
      @RonitPirtle Місяць тому +4

      Yup

    • @RonitPirtle
      @RonitPirtle Місяць тому +5

      ​@@lizabuckingham9586 you go girl!

  • @anitarose7915
    @anitarose7915 Місяць тому +12

    I have an X who is the poster-creep, for exactly what you've said here. We've been divorced for over 20 yrs, and he is still running me in the ground to anyone who will listen.
    Totally crazy!!

  • @johnj.flanagan-songsoffaith
    @johnj.flanagan-songsoffaith Місяць тому +20

    The Russian author Chekov noted, “Why do people treat one another so badly?” There is a reason, it is the fallen nature, which is only fixed when one comes to faith in Christ, and then a new spirit guides your life, and the capacity to have peace of mind in a world gone awry, with broken relationships and instability. God bless each of you today.

  • @cherylvanesch3086
    @cherylvanesch3086 Місяць тому +28

    When I finally got it, and “opened not my mouth” my Narc spouse was totally done with me. Not responding took me out of his control and manipulation, and he did not like that

    • @reddawn8230
      @reddawn8230 Місяць тому +1

      They need a sparring partner sooooo desperately.

    • @livingforChrist
      @livingforChrist 24 дні тому +1

      I started recording him and that was it for him. After that he said he never wanted to be with me.

    • @charitymokeira
      @charitymokeira 18 днів тому

      ​@@livingforChristworks all the time

  • @christinemilham2847
    @christinemilham2847 Місяць тому +32

    They HATE "clarification". They'll gripe: why can't you just "not question everything" and just take everything I say as it is?" Asking them to get to the point is being rude and antisocial.

    • @runningwarrior5468
      @runningwarrior5468 Місяць тому +5

      they like keeping the situation blurry to confuse you. They hide their deeds in a fog they themselves create. God sees everything, though.

    • @neneppete4737
      @neneppete4737 23 дні тому +1

      Those are my husbands exact words 😮

  • @cherylvanesch3086
    @cherylvanesch3086 Місяць тому +20

    It escalated into physical intimidation, cornering, and bullying. And when I said I had to leave the room because he was bullying, cornering, and yelling at me, he wouldn’t let me leave. Then I had to make plans for a physical separation, I let him know I wanted to reconcile, but, only if he went to. Counseling, and showed real signs of true repentance. But he quit counseling and filed for divorce instead.

    • @katherineirvin7464
      @katherineirvin7464 Місяць тому +2

      Yes. Boundaries. You let him know you ain’t tolerating that evil behavior. Bound people hate boundaries.

    • @Lauren-vd4qe
      @Lauren-vd4qe Місяць тому +3

      WHY would you want to reconcile with a person that bullies/threatens you???? READ 2 Tim 3, and AVOID HIM!!! STOP being a doormat!!!

    • @AlisonCampbell-is3sy
      @AlisonCampbell-is3sy 2 дні тому

      Textbook Predictable reaction & response from them...

  • @Kimm_Berlyn
    @Kimm_Berlyn Місяць тому +28

    This 20 minute video has to be one of your best most precise and concise plans on how to not argue with a narcissist. Thank you so very very much.

  • @lizaddison5751
    @lizaddison5751 Місяць тому +7

    They are masters at accusing others of what they are actually doing. Being a christian does not mean we need to allow constant abuse and disrespect toward us. I forgive, but i will no longer allow them into my peaceful space. Can Be REALLY hard not to respond, but i know Pray before being in their company and leave it to God... Still Very VERY hard, but In God we Trust. ❤

  • @peacefulone4461
    @peacefulone4461 Місяць тому +33

    "What have I done?! I didn't do anything wrong. If I did tell me! Just tell me!! I never hurt you! I give you whatever you want! Are you forgetting?What's wrong with you?" This is all done in total rage. Rage is throughout the day @ various times. Even my dog is affected ...etc etc 😢

    • @winterrose9070
      @winterrose9070 Місяць тому +2

      Mine says exactly the same thing!

    • @shaunduffy861
      @shaunduffy861 Місяць тому +3

      May sound candid as you're not bought into this subject, and that's not you're fault. You sound like a rational loving person. You were targeted by someone who has no grace, integrity or foresight. You deserve better. It's initially hard, difficult and really cruel,to understand. Believe this, stop, take a breath and reflect on what you've been through. Take this time to slow down, breath and inhale some positivity, Godbless. It's not your fault, things will fall in place take care and hoping you're doing okay. We all have our own way off returning to the person that the predator latched on to. Hope you find your way. 🙏

    • @Lauren-vd4qe
      @Lauren-vd4qe Місяць тому +4

      leave, get a divorce before you lose your sanity

    • @shellybarnes2450
      @shellybarnes2450 13 днів тому

      This is my husband to the T you try to walk away from an argument and he continues yelling and screaming and reading the whole day it has affected my cat our home our dog I have tried many times to escape it's like there's a chain around me that I can't cut it's miserable and I do turn it over to God it's so strange even reading all this and hearing this makes me shake inside the same way I shake when he's raging thank you for the info and sharing I don't feel quite so alone

    • @Lauren-vd4qe
      @Lauren-vd4qe 13 днів тому

      @@shellybarnes2450 contact a divorce lawyer, contact the womens shelter immediately. covertly pack a bag, put it in the trunk of your car, when hes sleeping at 3am, get up very quietly and drive away very quietly. thats what i did. i left plenty of my things in plain sight so he wd think i was coming back soon and not look for me. its how i got a divorce, lived with a family member a hundred miles away, did not go see my parents bc he stalked them, i called them but never went to see them for months. thats how i got away.

  • @trishg8852
    @trishg8852 Місяць тому +23

    Its true they love to bait you and provoke you & misinterpret what you are saying. 💯

  • @giselamovilla8978
    @giselamovilla8978 Місяць тому +28

    Yeap “I’m always at fault “. I learned to avoid a too long conversation, I keep it short, firm, and not let manipulation, that’s why I’m called from this parent as “The Sargent”.

    • @sarahevanson-isaac7237
      @sarahevanson-isaac7237 Місяць тому +11

      @@giselamovilla8978 Good job not getting pulled into a pointless conflict that never ends! Keep it simple. Keep your center strong. Your relationship with God gives you integrity.

    • @kimmieM0927
      @kimmieM0927 Місяць тому +4

      To funny, I’m called the Warden when God himself knows I’m not allowed to make even one decision in this marriage. 😅

  • @AletaBoyette
    @AletaBoyette Місяць тому +17

    Narcs will literally follow to keep the argument / fight going so walking away is not always an option

    • @926paaja
      @926paaja Місяць тому +2

      Or walk away and then you follow bc it’s just rude
      Ugggg it’s so sick

    • @Marshmellow-u9h
      @Marshmellow-u9h Місяць тому

      I use head phonrs or turn up the tv or radio really loud if i camt leave the house with some keys... or call the po lice stating causing disturbance ... where possible record them in the midst of it without them knowing

  • @granth9352
    @granth9352 24 дні тому +3

    I can tell that This Woman has been through a Lot, and I Know shes 100% correct on every single point that shes made on this video.

  • @ritataggart8153
    @ritataggart8153 Місяць тому +10

    Sadly this is all very true, married to a narcissist for 45 years..as long as you go along with their way of thinking, it’s doable but once you question them & stand up for yourself, be prepared for confrontation! Stressful & exhausting!

    • @LisaMQuinn
      @LisaMQuinn Місяць тому +1

      As long as you are a slave to their version of the future, all is well. As soon as you want something to move you forward spiritually or personally, and it uses time, that he wants all of, he will begin the passive aggressive guilting...mine said he wanted a divorce if I didn't get the jxb. Living the sweet life in Italy now with all the blood oranges...

    • @yolandabarnum4036
      @yolandabarnum4036 5 днів тому

      😂🎉yesyesyes

  • @endtimesarehere1322
    @endtimesarehere1322 Місяць тому +9

    This woman has nailed every aspect of a narcissist. Thank God I needed to hear this.

  • @TableForOne01
    @TableForOne01 Місяць тому +22

    "All you care about is yourself" ... he said spitting crumbs on the side of my face as he was eating my only birthday cupcake I got from where I volunteered on Fridays (before he made me quit by constantly accusing me of sleeping with the very disabled 70 yr old man there everyone loved) as I was washing a weeks worth of his dishes he kept in his room because I had dirtied one cup using it to feed his chickens that he let get killed by raccoons everytime he fell asleep drunk. And I was only there on a vacation to see my Grandkids for the summer months and I paid the narc $500+ a month to stay in the attic, as I had my own place in another state. That was the breaking point. 10 yrs free. 33 yrs captive. He married and trafficked me as a teen. Jesus broke the chains in 2016.

    • @TallGlass-fh8qf
      @TallGlass-fh8qf Місяць тому +4

      I wouldn’t even be able to eat someone’s only cupcake, but especially on their birthday. That is unspeakably childish.

    • @AlyssaLopez-n1c
      @AlyssaLopez-n1c 26 днів тому +3

      May God bless the rest of your life

    • @charitymokeira
      @charitymokeira 18 днів тому +2

      My goodness 😢. May God restore the 33 wasted years

  • @deelehey2827
    @deelehey2827 Місяць тому +8

    A “friend” cussed me out recently. I said I needed to hang up. I didn’t answer her calls for two days. When I finally did talk to her, she said I was “passive aggressive” for not wanting to speak to her. She has always been narcissistic but I ignored it until she full out attacked me. She knows that she was wrong but won’t admit it. I am distancing myself.

  • @giselamovilla8978
    @giselamovilla8978 Місяць тому +27

    God bless you for helping us to understand and deal with a narcissistic, specially when is a parent, Christian. For many years I been provoked and thrown guilt as the bad daughter, actually the one that is taking care of one of them.

    • @Kris_Reece
      @Kris_Reece  Місяць тому +2

      I'm so sorry.

    • @giselamovilla8978
      @giselamovilla8978 Місяць тому +2

      @@Kris_Reece many of your instructions I have been doing before I found your channel, now I feel more relieved. Yes I am working with prayer and moving away from situations where I can be punched with sarcasm

  • @cheesygal
    @cheesygal Місяць тому +6

    I did this with my narcissistic husband at the end of our relationship. I didn’t understand he was narcissistic bc I didn’t know about covert narcissism. I asserted for him to stop yelling at me. He continued. I told him I would leave the room, then I did. He banged on the door yelling. I came out and got my keys telling him I needed to leave the house. He yelled that I couldn’t bc he wasn’t allowed to leave. I told him that I wasn’t going to do the xyz things he did when he left the house. Needless to say he followed me to the door yelling. (Fortunately he didn’t abuse me.) I did end the relationship shortly after bc I found the tools to manage myself and to see what my life would continue to be. I learned my part in that dysfunctional relation and have been in a healthy relationship for over thirty years now. My how life has changed.

  • @pamboire6973
    @pamboire6973 Місяць тому +28

    Kris your programs have helped tremendously.. THANK YOU

    • @Kris_Reece
      @Kris_Reece  Місяць тому +3

      Yay! You made my day :)

  • @tims9434
    @tims9434 Місяць тому +3

    "You have the right to remain silent". Best line I've been reminded of

  • @ref7249
    @ref7249 Місяць тому +9

    I have said for years that arguing with a narcissist is a “Merry-Go-Round of No Progression”.

  • @barbarajansen4912
    @barbarajansen4912 29 днів тому +3

    I really appreciate this in your biblical perspective. I am also a Christian and can relate to everything you are saying. Information from a Christian perspective on this subject has been scarce. Thank you for making it available to me.

  • @aimee30425
    @aimee30425 Місяць тому +3

    I so agree with Kris. I had my fair share encounters with narcissists in the church/ life groups. Most of them, God revealed to me and confirmed had Jezebel spirit and were Jezebel ambassadors, not God's. They have various strongholds e.g. pride and therefore the Jezebel gets attached to them to make them more powerful in their weaknesses.They have free will though and don't have to listen to Jezebel but often they do. Recently I was attacked with an abusive behavior from a narcissistic- jezebelic woman when I was asking for a prayer, she physically shook me and accused me of being inconsiderate and prolonging things. When I told her she hurt me and asked her to be gentle, she came with more accusations and twisted and manipulated what I said to her. I meant to respond as it really upset me but asked Jesus first what to do and He said ' don't add insult to yourself by confronting someone who refuse to take responsibility'. So yes, even though I was upset with these twisted and false accusations I didn't dare to disobey Jesus. He said that we should be like Him ' learn from me because I am gentle and humble at heart' Matt 11:29. It's clear that narcissists/ Jezebel led people are not, the ones you I encountered anyway (7 people).
    Also look for the fruits of the Spirit. These peoples often have none.

  • @sandralogue1774
    @sandralogue1774 Місяць тому +5

    Narcissists don't misinterpret or misunderstand anything.
    They will twist words,events, etc until the original meaning is lost,so when they present "evidence" of wrongdoing and if you can't remember what happened detail for detail, an event that never happened,you're guilty.

  • @nicolebenson4517
    @nicolebenson4517 Місяць тому +87

    Narcissists do not get therapy or repent!

    • @rosannearcher6706
      @rosannearcher6706 Місяць тому +8

      Truth, same film strip in their head. No accountability and brings you into their inflicting pain on you and others as if we were responsible for what they chose to do

    • @nicolebenson4517
      @nicolebenson4517 Місяць тому +4

      @@rosannearcher6706 So true. An awful and painful experience.

    • @mamajan99
      @mamajan99 Місяць тому +3

      They don't need therapy. It's all your falt every time.

    • @margaretcolegrove5122
      @margaretcolegrove5122 Місяць тому +9

      Not necessarily. I had found myself at 40 years of age, realizing that I am my narcissist mom. I am traumatizing my child, hurting those I love the most. God showed me what I had become and he saved me and rescued me from my bondage. He healed the broken parts of me so I could break this generational curse and live a righteous life. Praise Jesus, he has changed my life in every single way.

    • @nicolebenson4517
      @nicolebenson4517 Місяць тому +1

      @@margaretcolegrove5122 Praise Jesus for your healing! You are not a narcissist if you are able to self reflect. Narcissists don’t change and are never sorry.

  • @ChildofGod98765
    @ChildofGod98765 Місяць тому +13

    So true. Jesus hear my prayers. As a single mother. I’m still struggling financially trying to provide the basics for my two sons. Both are are special needs. Every month is a struggle not to end up on the streets. Father give me strength, because I’m so tired of struggling. I’m ready to give up but with your help Father God I can move mountains.💕

  • @lisastewart6205
    @lisastewart6205 Місяць тому +6

    This is spot on! When I’d say, “If you speak to me that way, I’m going to take a walk around the block.” His response, “If you walk away from me, it’s over!” I eventually ended the relationship.

  • @hollikrebs
    @hollikrebs Місяць тому +5

    I’m glad to come across a true Christian interpretation of dealing with a narcissist even biblically!

  • @anacardinale5769
    @anacardinale5769 Місяць тому +6

    Thank you Kris! After being set up as the family scapegoat, invalidated my whole life, bullied, abused emotionally and made to feel like they are doing me a favor by allowing me to be a part of the family cult, I have had to draw strong boundaries which as you say are slowly being eroded by provocation. The last 10 years have literally been hell on earth. I am totally isolated from many people I cared about because my narcissistic family had to spread false rumors about me and now it seems the whole world needs to be involved in my business. I have tried unconditional forgiveness but efforts at reconciliation have failed because of their provocations. I am 67. I no longer care about the people that left. I no longer care about belonging to a family dynamic in which I never fit it. But, I do care about living my life in peace and tranquility and these people only want more trouble. At what point do people say it is time to seek legal counsel? I have become the victim of bullying, slander, stalking and all sorts of emotional PTSD trauma symptoms. When do I finally say this is emotional abuse that must end. Maybe if I am lucky I can get monetary compensation for the horrific abuse they've sent my way that they call "love"?

    • @keithstewart7514
      @keithstewart7514 Місяць тому

      I'm 60 years old & word for word resemble your posted remark. My Sadistically CATHOLIC MoMster is way involved personally in the church.
      MONSENIOR "FROST"or is far more than a FLYN MONKEY BASS TURD... He's a Part of Satan's plan. Before Hell freezes over the "Frost" can be found in Oildale Calif 93308.

  • @joshockey7447
    @joshockey7447 Місяць тому +54

    This is an end time ministry for sure.

    • @peacefulone4461
      @peacefulone4461 Місяць тому +4

      @joshockey7447... you're right! I hadn't thought of that. Thank you

    • @Lauren-vd4qe
      @Lauren-vd4qe Місяць тому +3

      yup, its 2 Tim 3 personified!!

    • @mstanley97
      @mstanley97 Місяць тому +1

      Great insight! So true!

  • @joelbumba2006
    @joelbumba2006 Місяць тому +9

    You need to openly rebuke them (Titus 1:3). They might not change but people around will start changing to repent to not go alongside what they do.

  • @naturalist369
    @naturalist369 7 днів тому +1

    Yes radical acceptance of the actual situation and that we cannot fix this ourselves ! They just won't allow resolution no matter how much you want it or try to resolve ! Thank you ! Excellent advice ! Rehearsed "broken record statements" you keep repeating to outline the boundary; no negotiation and end of conversation ! ❤❤❤🙏🏼😇🕊💫

  • @mamajan99
    @mamajan99 Місяць тому +20

    When "we NEED them to understand" it may reveal our own issues (insecurities) that we should deal with. As a grown up, you can learn to protect your "Inner Child" from the narcs.

    • @MyParis8
      @MyParis8 Місяць тому

      How would you suggest we protect our inner child from them?

    • @mamajan99
      @mamajan99 Місяць тому +1

      @@MyParis8 That is a very good question. There are many videos and books on the subject. (Do a search on the internet.) Basically it involves discovering how our subconscious, often wounded from childhood, tends to control and limit us as adults in harmful ways. It is a healing process, but so helpful for many of the walking wounded. A wise therapist might help too.

    • @MyParis8
      @MyParis8 Місяць тому

      @@mamajan99 yes course I know all taht and have even studied it at length in workshops and seminars but I meant some practical suggestions

    • @mamajan99
      @mamajan99 Місяць тому

      @@MyParis8 I believe that practical suggestions would really depend on each individual situation. That is where a trained therapist could be helpful or a wise friend who has been there. It is like saying "My car won't go. What should I do?" A mechanic would need to know the symptoms to narrow down possible solutions. We have been to good therapists and have a library full of self-help books on psychology that helped us to first understand ourselves. It is really a journey, not a quick fix. You are not alone. If we did it, you can too.

  • @sanyakalaluka7988
    @sanyakalaluka7988 Місяць тому +10

    Everything youve said is exactly what my father is likw. Always accusing, and most times accusing of things he does. Claiming no one is perfect but then he is. Using the past against you, yelling when things are not going according to his plan. Wanting to control everything and everyone. He triggers the anger in me

    • @hollikrebs
      @hollikrebs Місяць тому

      Yes anger, that’s how the demons use the narcissist to get you to sin by driving you to anger! That takes away your peace and victory and then the narcissist and the demons are happy. Resist the devil, submit to God. So that you can receive from God.

    • @hollikrebs
      @hollikrebs Місяць тому

      I know because it’s been my battle and I’ve had lots of failures.

  • @CromwellSway
    @CromwellSway 29 днів тому +3

    You, Lady are speaking so much truth.
    May Almighty GOD continue to bless you

  • @lauras3554
    @lauras3554 Місяць тому +5

    My mother changed. Amazing relationship with her in her last decade

  • @shawnmarie1912
    @shawnmarie1912 Місяць тому +14

    Accusation = Confession

  • @user-dc6bi9ii7b
    @user-dc6bi9ii7b 2 дні тому

    After going to a counselor, his remarks were, " you think because I went there anything change." "Just yesterday, I was telling somebody that I am surely going to hell." I thank God for His guidance. HE IS SUFFERING NOW. I HEAR HIM GROANING LOKE WILD ANIMALS DURING THE NIGHT. I AM ENJOYING THE 🙏 PEACE ✌️ OF JESUS.

  • @cst4747
    @cst4747 Місяць тому +6

    So true and very exhausting! If you try to address it in any way you will be sorry.
    Thank you for the insight and confirmation!

  • @HannahMcnicholl
    @HannahMcnicholl Місяць тому +174

    *Larry Burkett's book on "Giving and Tithing" drew me closer to God and helped my spirituality. 2020 was a year I literally lived it. I cashed in my life savings and gave it all away. My total giving amounted to 40,000 dollars. Everyone thought I was delusional. Today, 1 receive 85,000 dollars every two months. I have a property in Calabasas, CA, and travel a lot. God has promoted me more than once and opened doors for me to live beyond my dreams. God kept to his promises to and for me*

    • @JerryAdams-fc7yv
      @JerryAdams-fc7yv Місяць тому

      There's wonder working power in following Kingdom principles on giving and tithing. Hallelujah!

    • @FeriaAllenkempf
      @FeriaAllenkempf Місяць тому

      But then, how do you get all that in that period of time? What is it you do please, mind sharing?

    • @benholmes-u2i
      @benholmes-u2i Місяць тому

      It is the digital market. That's been the secret to this wealth transfer. A lot of folks in the US and abroad are getting so much from it, God has been good to my household Thank you Jesus

    • @benholmes-u2i
      @benholmes-u2i Місяць тому

      Big thanks to Ms. Susan Jane Christy❤️✨💯May God bless Christy Fiore services,she have changed thousands of lives globally

    • @HarrisWay-kc7li
      @HarrisWay-kc7li Місяць тому

      How can I start this digital market, any guidelines and how can I reach out to her?

  • @Kloops
    @Kloops Місяць тому +10

    3:46 so true. Last weekend I was getting my things out of the marital home/barn and he was there because he didn’t want me taking his Christmas tree. And I saw the denim jacket that my daughter had two years ago draped over a box. I told him “this was left here when she ran from the house and came out here crying herself to sleep.”
    I had moved out but left my things there.
    And he said “yeah probably because you poisoned her mind against me.”
    I didn’t remember right away why but later I remembered that she was in the house with him alone. She said something like “I don’t want to be your daughter.”
    It was some argument about discipline or her chores.
    And he yelled at her saying “I don’t want to be your dad!”
    So she ran out to the barn and went up to the loft and fell asleep crying.
    She was 12.
    Of course he blamed me in his mind.
    And I sent him a text letting him know it had nothing to do with me.
    And since then, he’s been taking jabs at me to try to entrap me. I’m trying to ignore him.

    • @sharondoan1447
      @sharondoan1447 Місяць тому +2

      No contact is your best hope. Change your phone number, use an app to block all numbers not on your contact list.

    • @Lauren-vd4qe
      @Lauren-vd4qe Місяць тому +2

      I hope u get ALL your things out and NEVER go back and get a divorce, some relationships are just not worth it.

    • @Kloops
      @Kloops Місяць тому +1

      @@Lauren-vd4qe divorce was finalized last month. He wouldn’t allow me to get my things before then. He is a narc big time.

    • @Lauren-vd4qe
      @Lauren-vd4qe Місяць тому +2

      @@Kloops then you call the police, have your divorce papers with you, and the police go with you (take a friend also) to the house and the cops force the guy to step aside WHILE u get your things. take boxes and bags etc and be prepared to do it quickly. its done all the time. I had one like this, I took most of my stuff quietly, when he was asleep etc and hid them elsewhere, i left a few things in plain sight that i didnt want, and i finally left when he was asleep, never to return.

  • @brensue56
    @brensue56 24 дні тому +1

    My husband's classic go to is "why are you causing problems?" and he hops around the room like a spoiled teenager ranting. It's only been recently that I've been enlightened that he just might be a narcissist. I've seen no growth, no change, no understanding, no empathy. I used to think it was me and he likes that it's right on it. He knows me very well. He's seen all my vulnerabilities in the useless against me. Kind of just like Satan. He has trained me to keep my mouth shut. We've been married 40 years.

  • @Esmeraldaqueenoftomatoes
    @Esmeraldaqueenoftomatoes Місяць тому +11

    My ex bf in just about every argument told me that I was a shitty girlfriend. That I f"''d up the relationship. And I'm such a liar and a manipulator. He displayed every sign and more of a narcissistic. There's so many things he did to me mentally and psychologically and emotionally. He was a hard person to love and get along with. It was a mess! Early on, he told me I was a lucky girl and I hit the jackpot when I got him, but I honestly never felt lucky or blessed around him.

    • @lindac2554
      @lindac2554 Місяць тому +1

      He sounds awful

    • @user-eo5mc4jx2x
      @user-eo5mc4jx2x Місяць тому

      Classic narc psycho - babble. Sorry it happened to you. You're better off without him, trust me, I know.

  • @brendabowers2320
    @brendabowers2320 2 дні тому

    I learned the hard way to not speak when being accused for things I am not doing. It is the best thing I can do, not say a thing and walk away. Everything she is saying is truth.

  • @czntrm
    @czntrm Місяць тому +5

    "If you're gonna keep talking to me this way, I'm gonna jump out of this moving car until you decide to be civil." Just practicing for my road trip with my mom. 😂😭 Wish me luck, everybody! 🤣
    Seriously though, I've been doing a lot of healing, but there are still times that the trauma wounds get ripped open and I have to heal more.

  • @janicedixon3390
    @janicedixon3390 26 днів тому +1

    Awesome video! What I learned from a narcissistic relationship is that what I saw, how I felt in my ❤ & soul and my gut feelings about the many provocations I was being faced with was my truth and I could not/would not lose my truth in any situation. That is when the narc disappeared because when I explained to him calmly about the gaslighting, devaluing and continuous provocation attempts I went no contact & blocked him.

  • @sabrinapetersen5358
    @sabrinapetersen5358 22 дні тому +3

    It's a no win Situation for victims of narcissisric Abuse and it's pointless to argue with a selfish abusive person!

  • @IZJUSBB
    @IZJUSBB 6 днів тому

    I honestly am so battered and bruised in my heart and mind because I met my own narcissist. And he actually called himself a demon. And because I recently found faith, and I also prayed to God in my worst time to meet him again (it's a long story he ghosted me for 2years.) The devil answered instead. And now I've finally with the grace and love and strength of God blocked him for good, told him what he is, and sent my blessings and love and said goodbye. I can't stop the tears, I can't stop the pain, but I will continue to pray for him, for us all, for my loved ones, for the world. Thank jesus for coming to me and always loving me. God is so mighty. 🙌🏼 ❤ the point of my comment is a little bit because I am still hurting but also to share my story and let others know you aren't alone in this pain, God is with you and so many go through this. You can be healed.❤

  • @margaretgrey4238
    @margaretgrey4238 Місяць тому +16

    Pearls before Swine. Big Hug All...

  • @terrijohnson6549
    @terrijohnson6549 20 днів тому +1

    The biblical solution is hopeful, essential and applicable. Thank you.

  • @olayinkasanni8191
    @olayinkasanni8191 Місяць тому +3

    Silence works! So we can preserve our Peace that the narcissist effort is trying to disturb! Thanks. ❤🎉❤

  • @debmarlowe1204
    @debmarlowe1204 Місяць тому +2

    When I was a teen my mom would come open my bedroom door and start provoking and accusing. At first I tried to defend myself. That did not work and I would become distraught after she closed the door but I couldn’t recall what exactly she had dumped on me. My friend suggested I just use my shorthand to take what she said down in writing. I was shocked upon transcribing because it was all total BS. What an eye opener! I was internalizing all the negative feelings and none of it made any sense.

  • @blueskiesforever114
    @blueskiesforever114 Місяць тому +3

    Thank u Kris! And God bless you. ✝️💕 My Christian Narcissistic family ( I’m the scapegoat) has turned on me with an evil vengeance to destroy my name, spreading lies .. it has devastated me…. and I know who exactly behind it. It’s a spiritual warfare…. As my mother & sister are infected by the Jezabel spirit. And want me unalived. The hate, and persecution is off the charts. Please pray Jesus will uphold me, and justice will be done according to His will. Thank u again. 🙏✝️💕

  • @scotttyson607
    @scotttyson607 15 днів тому +1

    After years of personal experiences, I have come to the conclusion that it is morally permissible to lie to a narcissist to get the peace that you deserve.

  • @Dollhousehenderson
    @Dollhousehenderson Місяць тому +3

    Yeah, that chicken analogy with chess thats exactly how they act. And thank you for that. You don’t get to decide when you have hurt me what time I get over this I don’t even get to decide that I just have to go through the emotions until my body is done dealing with the emotions that by the way you caused, but the exact same words come out of his mouth you don’t ever forgive me. You don’t let things go. I appreciate the validation on you. Don’t get to decide. I honestly think I use those words with my husband, you did your action that was your choice, I don’t even get a choice and I just have to deal with it so you don’t get to decide when I’m done dealing with it, especially when you can’t have a conversation about it and help me through it. As a Christian woman this is one of the hardest things I have ever had to deal with.

  • @smilefaye6677
    @smilefaye6677 Місяць тому +2

    Wow this is my son in a nutshell. Thank you so much for your shares. I've subscribed so that I can get more understanding to be able to relate to him and this disease

  • @cslogic8107
    @cslogic8107 Місяць тому +3

    Kris is always 100 percent spot on. That kind of understanding doesn't come just from books.

  • @angelac5590
    @angelac5590 Місяць тому +2

    They never listen (not even listening to themselves) and never stop talking. This is one of the best videos on a frustrating topic. Thanks for sharing!

  • @LiteAsAFeather
    @LiteAsAFeather Місяць тому +9

    This is totally helpful. Thank you for having this conversation and I’m so thankful to God 🙏🌱 It’s very helpful the way you always include Gods ways and the Bible 🌷🥰The smear campaign is what breaks me. It’s something that is very much been a hardship in my experience. Also setting the boundary of leaving and the other individual doesn’t respect that. It can become very scary