Don't Argue with a Narcissist - God Says Do This Instead!
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- Опубліковано 7 лют 2025
- Tired of wasting your breath trying to get a narcissist to value your opinion?
If you're ready to Say goodbye to futile arguments and hello to quiet confidence, than join me for the 3 tactics narcissists use to pull you into a toxic argument, how to avoid taking the bait and responses that will leave you peaceful and them speechless
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@@Kris_Reece Thank you 🙏🏻
@@Kris_Reece Thank you for this Godly advise!
Just laugh!
Are narcissists raised and trained by other narcissists? I think my husband’s father taught him to be this way.
As far as working through issues, what to do when they won’t work through issues with you. How do you do this?
Narcissists rewrite history to escape accountability.
This!!!! My ex thinks we got divorced bc I stopped loving him. Has nothing to do with him breaking my arms and ribs and putting me and my 4 kids in financial ruin. Nothing to do with him going to prison for theft bc he can’t provide. They are monsters.
@@knightlight2627 they only rewrite history that will hold them accountable.
@@knightlight2627 and that still backfires on them - in the worst way .😎✌️
@@knightlight2627 That is so, so true!!
BEAUTIFUL QUOTE! May I repeat it? I'll give you credit, of course.
Narcissists will claim you are accusing them when you confront them with the truth of their actions. Don’t ever argue with them. They just want your energy and to wreck you emotionally.
Let them believe what they want. They will do that anyway. Disengaging will save your sanity.
Exactly!
I agree and I went from a Borderline to a Narcissist and I am such a mess. It became almost the same dynamic but just different enough to throw me off and delude myself from believing I was with a Narc.
Narcissist are trolls and once you find that out they don’t have to wreck your emotions. Now I agree every conversation you have with them you don’t need to feed into but I look at how Jesus handled His trolls the Scribes and the Pharisees in John 8 and each time He told them the truth and let them make of it what they will. In that chapter alone He addressed lies, accusations and told them who their father was- the devil and all of that was done in truth. Now yes, I believe we are not to start any arguments, Jesus never did, but are to speak as the Holy Spirit leads us and how He leads us to speak, not to convince or make anybody do or believe anything but to present the truth and if they don’t want to accept it, then knock the dust off your shoes and keep moving as Jesus said to do.
@@Kris_ReeceKim, you should clean up your channel. Above this comment is one of those scammers trying to get money out of your viewers -- why don't you delete and block these ppl???
A narcissist will never want to get help because only you need help.
FYI, I am divorced and still sad for 50 years, but I HAD to share....... the last thing he said to me was, " the reason this marriage failed, is because YOU stopped trying"..... but my experience only drew me closer and closer to my Lord, Amen......
Praying for your complete healing.
@@Bila-hu4qw thank you! I actually feel healed and now I can pray for others to get out now!🥰😇
45 years for me, yes it's exhausting. Praise God I have support and a daily peace with my heavenly Father.... healing will take time for as long as we need.
😜🤮🤪🙏
❤✝ “When darkness overtakes the righteous, light will come bursting in.” Psalm 112:4
A Narcissist cannot experience joy and he makes sure that those closest to him don’t experience joy.
@@marionclark
👍
That's so true! You'll end up joyless and depressed. Then you will look around and say, what just happened here! SMH
@@jinaking3376
Exactly!
True
They’ll sell their soul to make sure you experience pure HELL!!!
Narcissists actually Never win, they just remain "Lost".
Oh they win alright but are sickos
@@Summ3r010 They are perpetual cheaters, & only in their twisted mind are the winners. They view everyone as their slaves: & finding an example of it online, revealed it to me. Their heads are screwed on backwards. Unfortunately, they are deceptive in their dealings with people & their sources of supply are blinded to the image they project onto their targets, which is their actual image of themselves.
@@mistiquefire3462 What exactly do they win? When ultimately they never gain a driplet of peace.
@@Summ3r010 What they win is temporary. They win support, sometimes money, other things they want etc... but it won't last forever and God will make sure it doesn't.
@@Summ3r010they don’t want peace, they want chaos. Although their soul desperately wants peace, they have no relationship with their soul. So they are lost souls, and everyone in their path will suffer from their lack of humanity.
Narcissists are professional Gaslighters
Don’t ever trust them. Go no contact. Trust God. Live your best life living like Jesus. ✝️
One year no contact with mom. It’s been amazing 🎉
this does not sound healthy
There is absolutely nothing healthy about narcissism or narcissists, I learned never to get into an argument with my mother, it's just pointless
Amen and Amen!!!!!!!!!!!!
14 months now No Contact at all with ex husband. Peace at last….
There are many narc-knowledgable people on youtube, but I need this Christian perspective! Thank you, Chris!
Yesss. This is
what I needed
most. ❤
Yes, she is the best source of information about narcissism from a Christian perspective that I have found. Yes, others may profess to be Christians (and probably many actually are) but she is the only one I've found who actually addresses it as foundationally being a spiritual issue and she uses many scripture verses to explain her point from the Word of God. Most other sources feel more like self-help with a splash of Christian-ese sprinkled on top (which sometimes feels more like just taking advantage of marketing to a larger Christian audience). But I'd rather take advice from God's Word and she helps me see what God has to say about these issues and then she gives me explanations of how to apply this wisdom (from God) to my life. So thankful for her Spirit-led ministry!
Thank you!
@@stevev2292 I'm so glad you're being blessed by the content :)
@@Kris_Reece your video about ‘8 demonic signs’ is currently showing 1-2-3-4-5-6-6-6. Rather than 1-8 if that makes sense?
Save your breath. They will always have the last say. Don't take the bait when they provoke you. They truly wear you out. It's not worth it. Let God deal with them.
@@di4085 exactly
Agree!
🙏🙏🙏
@@louborlagdan140 No matter how much pain they gave you. Because there's an evil operating in them.
Sometimes its better to say nothing rather than say something that an adversary could later use against you.
True but then they will bate you with something like your being an avoidant but you claim you are not. Or then if you don't have anything to say then they assume you are guilty of what they accuse you of.
@@FrankBizon //they assume you are guilty of what they accuse you of.//let them assume what they want.Its not possible to control what what other people think so better not try in the first place,with any luck they will go away.But I realize its not that easy for someone who is living with a bully who maybe their spouse/sibling/parent etc.If you are then maybe moving out/throwing them out is the best thing to do
Which narcissists do all the time. They collect fodder to wage their warfare.
@@FrankBizon I confess: I'm totally avoidant when it comes to them! They don't realize they repel people away from them with their behaviors. Or maybe they do realize & do it on purpose? IDK but remind myself that what they think and say belongs to THEM. It's their stuff. I now choose to leave others' stuff on their shoulders. Give it to God and let it go. Continue to be civil and as kind as I can muster bc that's what's in my control.
Yeah and some will nit pick you for not saying anything. Have had it happen. I just say ok now bc it's not agreeing. It's simply acknowledging.
After years of abuse, I won't tolerate a narcissist. I close the door never to return.
Yeah i'm done with them no more bs.
Trying to "fix" a narc is a symptom of one's own issues, from what I have seen. Likely a bit of co-dependency.
“Fighting a Fight that doesn’t exist” well put
It’s best to walk away while you still can. Sometimes silence is key. And it speaks volumes.
They hate silence!!! Lol 😂😂😂
I was a narcissist but then I got saved and now 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 is my litmus test. I have memorized and play this verse in my mind often. Being a servant brakes the sin of narcissisms. I don't have to win anymore. Thank you Jesus!
@@gregtheresadahl that makes total sense to me, thanks for sharing. What has come to my mind to respond to my husband is when the Lord says in Scripture the one that serves others is the greatest. Of course I'm not planning to say that in a discussion.
@cindyhuerta6877 my book is coming out soon for purchase but if your husband would read it I can email you a copy for free. It is entitled "In search of reality". Just need you email.
@@gregtheresadahl ameeen
Amen 🙏
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Because I left my ex husband due to emotional/mental/physical abuse(he caused acid reflux and vomiting) he said I abandoned him. Truth is, he emotionally abandoned me way before I left. I was just a doormat and a trash can to him. Freedom is good.
Amen! Only in reverse! You just described my ex-wife other than the physical abuse. I’ve had numerous surgeries on my GI tract, including the Lap Niessen for excessive acid reflux. Also, as a typical Type A personality and exuding confidence when I met her in 1994, I dealt with severe depression in 2006 and again from 2012-2021. Even though I loathe divorce, in general, and made my ex promise me that she would never seek a divorce before I’d even propose to her, I am SO thankful that God allowed me to be removed from my marriage.
I needed this today. First my daughter earlier today, then someone this evening who I knew was a problem. I should never have told the 2nd person about the issue I had with my daughter earlier because then the 2nd person used that to prove that I have the problem with communication, not him.
You understand! God bless you
I am so sorry. My wife had that for a father. A person would be in prison today if that were done to a child. Humans are a mess. We need Christ's hope of salvation. He understands. He was severely abused by the Narcs in His day.
@emily_paris part of my story verbatim. I do not like it at all; we left 1 month ago. Lord please comfort
Narcissists are total waste of your energy,sanity,quality time,and i hate the blame game they play,the woe is me attitude,and nasty attitudes,the silent treatments,the what about me attitudes,or all about me attitudes.
“Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you yourself will be just like him” (Proverbs 26:4). How Does ...
Amen 🎉
Correct a fool and he will hate you even more, correct a wise person and they will love you ❤
The Holy Spirit literally spoke this verse to my heart when I was seeking him for his to deal with my Narcissistic father. 😢❤
I have found in my own experience that it's way more productive to argue with a fence post.
@@danielbridgewater3444 herding cats😁
😂😂😅
😂
There's really not a lot of upside to arguing in the first place
@@yvetteandjorgenlarsen9753 You are correct. I see Daniel finding humor in the situation, which can be healthy. Trying to reason with the unreasonable, if you can't laugh you can go insane.
The best we can do with a Narcissist is AVOID THEM FOREVER!!!!! No matter who they are (family, friends, etc).
Sometimes… Strong Boundaries is Sufficient & More Merciful, allowing them to Grow with Healthy Example! (Sometimes!)
🙏🏻🌸☀️🕊🍃
I found the result of arguing with a narcissist to be less successful than trying to nail applesauce to a wall.
@@jasonm4927, you’re very welcome! Supporting each other, we can take a victory away from the enemy and give it to God.
I was married to a narcissist for 25 years. Unfortunately, I didn’t learn about narcissism until just before I started my divorce. For all those years, I had the misguided notion I was responsible for making him happy and thought he would be-if I just worked increasingly harder. I also refused to give up because I believed God would change him. And then one morning, I heard God say, “You cannot do what I sent you to do if you stay where you are.”
Being completely transparent with you, I admit I still have times I believe I should have tried harder, but there was truly nothing left for me to try. And you’re correct! There’s SO MUCH to learn from our experiences! My relationship with God has grown enormously and I have grown in necessary and beneficial ways as well.
I have found happiness in a quiet life. And today I found happiness in comments from a fellow survivor. Life IS good.❤️
Ha. I'm going to use that one. They argue for fun for sport. That's the really sick part of it all.
"Don't Join them on that playground", because that's what they are, grown up children.
I think they can inherit it and learn it from how they were raised being abused but excusing them and smoothing things over for them doesn’t help them
And it all boils down to control with a narcissist.
"Boil" is the key word
"Anger" disguised as "Compassion"
Yup they are very controlling and they will also accuse you of being controlling. I have been accused of all the things the narc I just left did to me. Now she is hoovering me bad and I am going to have to cut ties soon for my own sanity and so I can heal once again. I already spent many years with a Borderline and was already damaged enough.
Narcissist most extreme control is murder. The second is not telling the family were the body is.
And that they don't have self-control over themselves and false narratives and anger issues
Who never had argued with a narcissist would never understand how confusing it is. This is a precise description.
Story of my life. Impossible to untwist all the twists and turns. At this point there is nowhere to go in these relationships. I had to walk away from family.
These videos are incredibly valuable. It's time to heal thyself.
After 44 years of my husband’s toxic behavior, I have come to dislike even the sound of his voice. He is a narcissist. In our younger years, he cussed constantly about every small incident. His glasses fell off the desk as he was reaching for them. He regaled the whole house with his profanity. Has always prided himself on never raising a hand to me, feels like a saint in that regard. According to him the fits of instant anger were always due to job pressures, people cutting him off in traffic, failure of equipment to function properly, long list of “ justifications”. None of those were anything but a failure of his self control and respect for anyone within hearing distance. I gave up on having the happy marriage we might have had long ago. Now I am keeping to myself as much as possible. He says, “ I love you” at least 20 times a day. It’s a bargaining tool the narcissist uses.
@@sharondoan1447 😢 I am so sorry you have had to go through this...
@@usernameanonymous158 Thank you for your kind words.
Thank you Thank you thank you!
48 years yesterday! No 'I LOVE YOU' in 15 years!
42 years in, hiding in Italy..
By myself...🎉
I don't know why I am watching this? 🤣🤣I have kicked the narcissists out of my life.. And they also discarded me.. And Now I am dancing💃🕺🕺👯👯👯👯👯💃💃💃
Because you are a demon possedsed closet case stalker perhaps? Need a ride to McLean? Call Uber.
@wisemanadvices9541 don't worry, you'll keep running into them! In new forms of course, be it neighbors, co-workers, family, bosses so on and so on!😏🫡best wishes!
@@arlenepallett7146 why should I ? when I know I am healed or healing and know about narc abuse.
@@wisemanadvices9541 yes be careful u might attract them. It took me some year to realize I had second narcissist in my life. The more you learn the more you can protect your mental
Bravo, but keep an eye out...
After 54 years, I'm finally at a place with my Mom where I accept that she will never change. I've just decided to take this relationship for what it is. I want to follow the Biblical command to respect her, so I make a point of helping her when it is reasonable to do so. I also make an effort not to complain to others about her, especially our mutual acquaintances. They'd never understand it anyway. At this point, since my enabling father has passed and I'm the only child still speaking to her, she's lost a lot of her sting. For the first time in my life, through the grace of Christ, I actually feel compassion for her. After all, who knows what happened to make her such a mess? I pray for her Salvation. Its in God's hands.
@@angietorok8389 well said, and a good place to be. I am in a similar situation with my husband. 48 years, and finally, not angry at him, but, I try to help him when I can and do for myself what I need. God bless you, sister, keep running the race, and eyes fixed on Jesus, is my heart
You’ve come over the hill and you’ve got peace.
@@angietorok8389 Glad you took the high road…..it is what God loves about you. Just knowing you are doing Gods will should calm and keep you. God Bless You 🙏🏼
@@bellabarro6881 You are obviously strong in your faith. The Lord will bless you for it.
Well done, that is love in action. You may well lead her to Jesus. ❤
They love to attack the things that you hold true about yourself. Integrity, respect, dignity etc. That’s why you find yourself arguing because at least for me I feel like I need to defend the values I hold dear about myself which is why the longer you remain in a narcissistic relationship you will begin to lose the best of who you are. Get out. It’s not worth it.
Thank you, this is true!
Ain’t this true!!!?
He would always try to put me down saying this Cristin life wasn’t helping me, that I was still the same person, that I wasn’t a good Cristian, when in reality he was just projecting himself. After 3 years he finally confessed he’s always been a fake Christian in front of my eyes, I was like you think I didn’t know that? 🤦🏻♀️
Yes, BUT…
When you have REALLY FIGURED it OUT, it is EASY to NOT ENGAGE!
My EX NARC’s complete Face Fell when I told him, “I AM NOT COMMENTING: Not because I Agree - No; Not Because I Disagree - No; Not because I’m Complacent & Don’t Care - No! I Am not responding to your HOUR LONG dissertation on Finances because I KNOW that it’s a Set-Up for you to Do Exactly Opposite of ALL that you just Said, & what might be good! I simply Don’t Care to waste my Time!” (This was his 3rd time at the Say & Promise One Thing Game & Then DO THE EXACT OPPOSITE!)
That was the Last time he played the Psycho-Flip Opposite Game on Me! And THEN HE KNEW that I KNEW! There was MORE that I had figured out, in a Short RUSH if REALIZATION!
The END!
Yes, The GAMES had no Power any More & it was… THE BEGINNING of the END! I even asked him 3 Times, if he’d like a No-Contest Amiable Divorce! NO - He wanted to Spend Lots of Money for Nothing!
🙏🏻🌸☀️🕊🍃
Absolutely 💯 truth
I no longer argue. I just say "let's agree to disagree". Period. And if it continues I walk away.
YES! The "NEED" to find agreement is often very toxic, for both parties.
How do you handle false accusations?
@@FrankBizon Yes, I was told by the narcissist, "Let's agree to disagree." But, what that meant to the narcissist was that I should be agreeing with her false accusations against me, i.e., her smear campaign. Nope, couldn't let that one go. It defied logic and reasoning and sparked my dying relative to spend precious time trying to "make peace." But, of course, logic, reason, and "making peace" mean nothing to a narcissist.
I’ve said, if you don’t believe me, there’s nothing I can do about it.
Things like this sound brilliant but don’t work in real life…where you NEED him to give you the credit card for groceries, etc. So we agree to disagree that the kids need to eat?!?
And as a Christian, we are told to forgive, and yes, he pulled this guilt trip with me. So, I told him, "Yes, I do forgive you! That is not the issue. It is a matter of the 'Content of Your Character' that is the issue!"
Yes we work on forgiveness but we DO NOT have to stay and remember it's not your fault or responsibility on how they chose to live
Forgiveness sets us free to let God handle the justice His way. But no way does forgiveness mean reconciliation. Walk away.
i forgive you, now im going to totally avoid you
@@anitarose7915 Not even God forgives a person who never repents.
@@anitarose7915 Please stop thinking you have to "forgive" someone else. Forgiveness is something that you apply to yourself. That is, forgive yourself for being deceived. Walk away from the lying, abusing individual and let God judge - as it is only God that judges. Repent your "gullibility" or what ever word you want to call it, promise God you are going to take your lesson and be a better person.
After leaving a narcissist husband after 25 years, the pastor said, ‘it’s about holiness not happiness’. At that point, I didn’t say anything. The pastor had no idea what was going on behind closed doors. I saw the toll his controlling, emotional abuse took on me and the kids. Of course, he was the victim since I was the one who left. Classic!
I'm sorry for you...but good you are free. Most pastors don't have a clue how to handle these types. Best to seek out advice from a well informed Christian counselor....like Kris.
I commend you for your courage. The millions of women who are told and have been told that it is their fault if a man is a narcissist , a cheater, a gambler, a pornography addict , a drunk, a liar, you name it. Christian counseling will inevitably place heavy burdens on the woman who is the abused. The Bible seems to support this.
@@peggywheeler5118 I saw that nuns and priests often came from a home with a very domineering parent...and entered into catholic training in their teens. So no dating years, no realistic romantic relationships within their own life. I have met those who have psychology degrees DO recognize abusive or domineering personalities...but have also been indocrinated to "encourage marriages are lifetime commitments...no divorces. " BUT GOD CREATED YOU, HAS PLANS FOR YOUR LIFE...AND WOULD NEVER WANT YOU TO BE ABUSED, MENTALLY OR EMOTIONALLY BATTERED...SO LOVE GOD AND LOVE AND PROTECT YOURSELF...RESPECT LIFE...INCLUDES YOUR OWN LIFE, TOO!
That's how I feel with my narc wife and at a point of no return in deciding to leave.
@@peggywheeler5118 Why does organized Christian religion teach that a woman is not worthy of good treatment by her husband ? Women cannot allow themselves to be the lesser of the two people in a marriage. Human nature is warped and steeped in sin. Men who don’t lead their family sacrificially as Jesus led the Church and sacrificed himself for it are not worthy. They are not holy.
I don’t even want my opinions valued. I just want them to quit attacking and shaming me for my beliefs and forcing their all new ideologies on me.
Right. Wouldn't that be great!
then avoid them
Difficult if married to them.
They won’t. Bottom line the narcissist, will weaponize our needs and out points of view against us…
Or if they are your own child
Yasssss this is awesome. To have someone who loves God and REALLY understands narcissists. THANK YOU FOR THIS
@@katieparker4934 Yes, I agree . 😄
"The past was never dealt with." THANK YOU
I've gotten so much from this channel. One thing is that forgiveness must be given to honor God, but forgiveness doesn't equal trust. Nowhere in scripture does it say "trust thy neighbor". Trust must be earned. Very liberating truths!
"Trust must be earned" - that's so true, Carrie.
Thank you, ladies, great video. I started using boundaries and speaking them to my mother. It doesn't work, but at that moment when I say, If you continue to make derogatory remarks about my wife, I will leave. My mother dismisses what I said, so I walk out the door. I do the same thing when we talk on the phone. I hang up.
She twists everything around and says I am treating her like a child. Then she mocks me in a weird voice and says she's not a child, "If I don't do this I will do that" She says that in a weird, taunting voice as if she was a 12-year-old child on a playground. Well, I am not. I am a grown man now and I don't play those games anymore.
It has taken me a few years to make my boundaries and Stick to them. She raised me (only child) to not be disrespectful. She says I was being disrespectful and I felt guilty at first....but not anymore. She is the one that is disRespecting me.
Our relationship has diminished but I now have Peace of Mind knowing what I am dealing with. I don't know what happened to my mother. She is not the same. I suspect her Narc ways mixed with some type of brain disease dementia or Alzheimer's is a very bad combination.
It has taken me a while to learn how to stop defending myself, but now that my eyes are open and with prayer for protection before I talk to her on the phone. I no longer take the bait, like I used to. She can no longer steal my energy away from me and it feels good to say that.
Big thanks to Jesus and the therapist I have been talking to regarding my narc mother for 2 yrs. I am living my best life now. Thank you for sharing this video. It gives me confirmation that I am handling myself properly. MountainAngel
@@earthangel8875 thank you for your openness!! 🙏🏻
I have the same Mom. It's the Jezebel spirit. I've learned how to shut it right down. They always generalize. Like my Mom will say, you've always been disrespectful to me. So I'll say please name exactly what I said or did specifically that was disrespectful. Then she'll spin it or go off topic....
And I'll say, when you can stick to the topic at hand and answer the question I'll continue the conversation but until then I'm ending it.
Then she'll dial all my siblings and smear me and say she's worried I have mental issues.
I respond to my siblings, she's entitled to her own opinion, but I don't allow her to gossip about you to me for the record.
The goal is to pull you into their black hole and keep you in the fight! 🙄
@@earthangel8875 So happy for you. 🙂
I would also like to add that my mother used to make me feel very "guilty" saying we are the only family we have here. So I never left the Bay Area because I didn't want to leave her alone.
That has changed. After a few years of weighing out the Pros & Cons and reaching out to various programs the Silicon Valley has to offer to Seniors and Independent living, example: IHSS (In Home Support Services)
My wife of 26 yrs and I bought some rural mountain property (3 acres) I did my in-depth research. We are only 2.5 hrs away from my mother and a 1-hour flight should I need to get to her quickly should I "need" too.
I tried to tell my mother we were interested in a property months ago (4 months from today 07-22-24) I tried to show her photos of the property on my laptop so she could see it, thinking she would be happy for us?
She wanted NOTHING to do with looking at the photos I was so excited to share. She became upset, so she didn't hear a thing I said.
I will admit it was not a good feeling for me. What was "I" thinking? Did I really think she would express any type of happiness and pride knowing we were going to buy a nice property?
I never got to explain in detail. Instead I closed my laptop and left with my tail between my legs, but she didn't know it. I didn't show any type of emotion.
She would have known how I felt if she would have looked at me, but she didn't. She gave me her back instead.
I tried many times to interest her in a safe Senior Independent living situation but it fell on deaf ears.
So I continued to do what I set my mind out to do. Contact Movers and make arrangements to move my wife and I to a more peaceful town with a population of 1,000 and the rest is history as of June 04, 2024
We couldn't be happier. I couldn't be happier. Now, when I speak to my mother I keep it short. She has no idea I don't live 8 minutes away anymore.
I don't want to tell her yet, not yet.
I do keep an eye on things from afar through her doctors and the internet. I make sure she pays her bills with casual gentle reminders.
I also pray a lot. She has always been an Independent woman. It's "Her" way or NO way, so be it. As long as she is content and not hurting herself or anyone else.
Let me tell you I have not slept better in ALL my life. I have Peace, Peace of Mind, and Tranquility here in this small, slow, rural mountain area on 3 beautiful acres that resemble some of the parks in the Bay Area.
I never thought I could leave the same city my mother lived in, but I did because "I" put Me first. "I" did what I thought was best for my wife and I.
......All the glory goes to God for giving me the strength and opportunity to buy this home.
*Guilt Free MountainAngel formally Angel from The Bay
@@earthangel8875 F.O.G.
fear obligation and guilt
They never want to discuss the past and how they hurt you ever but they will always and forever hold anything you did in the past against you. Mine did it to me. Told his fan club one reason he wanted divorce was because of something I did 6 yrs prior to us getting married. But now I see whatever his reason, this was God’s rescuing for me and I am so grateful. This relationship was killing me!!
They have a double standard but if you point it out they deny and twist the conversation
So why did he marry you if the thing you supposed did 6 years prior to him is a concerns... they are sooo messed up! The earth needs ourgung of these kinds they are next level earth devils
@@hollikrebs Yep and you get a free lecture
I honestly am so battered and bruised in my heart and mind because I met my own narcissist. And he actually called himself a demon. And because I recently found faith, and I also prayed to God in my worst time to meet him again (it's a long story he ghosted me for 2years.) The devil answered instead. And now I've finally with the grace and love and strength of God blocked him for good, told him what he is, and sent my blessings and love and said goodbye. I can't stop the tears, I can't stop the pain, but I will continue to pray for him, for us all, for my loved ones, for the world. Thank jesus for coming to me and always loving me. God is so mighty. 🙌🏼 ❤ the point of my comment is a little bit because I am still hurting but also to share my story and let others know you aren't alone in this pain, God is with you and so many go through this. You can be healed.❤
I stand with you 34yrs not going to bless that mess!!!
@@devoniaearnest3791 incredible you are ❤️
Love you precious sister in Christ. Be strong in the Lord and Savior and the power of His Might. Jehovah Shalom 👑 🔥 🪔 💖
The most valuable thing I've ever learned from UA-cam narcissist advice videos, is: It's OK to leave an evil person and move on with your life.
Nailed it. I forgive, pray, and release him to God. Trust is NEVER coming back, never ever. 5 years in from setting boundaries and he hasn't tried to fix anything, so boundaries stay in place. And waaay too much time has passrd now for even repentence to undo some of the damage. Breaks my heart and soul, so I can image what it's doing to God's. God have mercy.
Having underwent a childhood of narcissistic abuse through a parent, i can clearly confirm to you all that this is one of the ways the enemy opened the door of fear in my life. But God has been faithful in restoring my soul. I agree with all sentiments Kris Reece shares. May we receive the healing we need in Jesus name. Amen
God is good, Amen
Forgiveness, doesn't mean having to take the offender back .
I am labelled HYPERTENSIVE because of this demon I am living with!! My pressure plummeted in just two years!! It's so difficult living with this TOXIC DEMON
@@PamillaYoung-Dookie why do you stay?
..I understand you.. I was there… but I got closer and closer to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and I have peace, joy, happiness in Him. He really gives my strength and inner peace.. and I’m winning!!😊🙏👍❤️
Yes it is.
Yes I totally understand mine is a very toxic demon who is mentally abusing. I’m trying to find a way to escape I no longer have any love for him. He is draining the life out of me!
Demon is what I have my ex-wife programmed in my phone as.
Narcissists don't misinterpret or misunderstand anything.
They will twist words,events, etc until the original meaning is lost,so when they present "evidence" of wrongdoing and if you can't remember what happened detail for detail, an event that never happened,you're guilty.
And it will make you feel crazy! They act like you weren't even there.
When I finally got it, and “opened not my mouth” my Narc spouse was totally done with me. Not responding took me out of his control and manipulation, and he did not like that
They need a sparring partner sooooo desperately.
I started recording him and that was it for him. After that he said he never wanted to be with me.
@@livingforChristworks all the time
My mother changed. Amazing relationship with her in her last decade
My sister in law is a covert narcissist. I overheard when she was talking to my husband how she crush the people she doesn't like. She said that she would observe the person to find out the weakness in the person and strike that when the person is the most vulnerable. That's how I found out who I have been dealing with.
She may be beyond a covert narcissist... maybe a psychopath? That is predatory behavior.
@@sharonf3321 that was also what cross my mind at first, but I can’t tell if she has that personality. She is very smart academically which makes her pretty successful for what she does. She can be very sweet to people she likes to hang out. She loves own children and nieces and nephews. Unfortunately I am who she doesn’t like.
@@sayno2672 I'm sorry you are going through this. It's strange she told your husband that... not very covert of her. They usually want to appear nice, and lie even to themselves that they are good. Psychopaths truly believe themselves to be superior, so can actually be quite open (bragging) about their psycho behavior. I hope you can stay out of her path as much as possible. 🙏💌
thats literally witch craft, use 2 Tim 3 and AVOID her totally, going forward.
@@sharonf3321 thank you so much for kind words. I paid the price for setting the boundary to her, but now I finally able to take care of myself.
The church world has been duped into thinking that toxic forgiveness and toxic trust should be allowed. They kind of have a be a doormat theology
I had a lay counselor at church and she absolutely did not comprehend that my spouse is a narcissist AND she made me feel guilty for no longer wanting to put up with it
Some in the church also allow toxic, Lording-over, worldly, carnal, wicked “Leadership”, instead of biblical humble, servant, Christlike leadership by men.
Not all. We had a situation in our church where the leaders took the Biblical approach and confronted the perpetrator as directed, starting with Mathew 18:15. Other local church leaders did the same. The perpetrator did not repent, so we are now working on nurturing the victims and maintaining boundaries that the perpetrator earned.
Yup
@@lizabuckingham9586 you go girl!
Wow, this description of what narcissists do perfectly fits the crew that is running our country.
I was just thinking the same thing! You are so right!
And my country, too.
YEP!!! Amen!
Silence can also make it worse. A simple "ok" is sometimes best. Also, a blank stair while blinking a few times and not saying anything might make them reconsider. I don't know why, but it does work.
Its true they love to bait you and provoke you & misinterpret what you are saying. 💯
A "friend" comes to mind during this video. With the twisting of words, accusing me of being rude when I'm healthily interrupting for clarity, also being accused of wanting to argue and humiliated me with others of telling them that we argue a lot.....we don't, well, a few times in beginning until I realized a deja vù in a significant relationship.
I'm practicing a healthy boundary approach. I'm too old (66) for this. "Been there, NOT going back"
Too exhausting. I don't want health problems, or increase, with dealing with narcisstic persons.
Too exhausting. Waste of precious time.
2 Tim 3: AVOID THEM
I can tell that This Woman has been through a Lot, and I Know shes 100% correct on every single point that shes made on this video.
I completely agree with you.
🙏🏻🕊🍃
This woman has nailed every aspect of a narcissist. Thank God I needed to hear this.
"What have I done?! I didn't do anything wrong. If I did tell me! Just tell me!! I never hurt you! I give you whatever you want! Are you forgetting?What's wrong with you?" This is all done in total rage. Rage is throughout the day @ various times. Even my dog is affected ...etc etc 😢
Mine says exactly the same thing!
May sound candid as you're not bought into this subject, and that's not you're fault. You sound like a rational loving person. You were targeted by someone who has no grace, integrity or foresight. You deserve better. It's initially hard, difficult and really cruel,to understand. Believe this, stop, take a breath and reflect on what you've been through. Take this time to slow down, breath and inhale some positivity, Godbless. It's not your fault, things will fall in place take care and hoping you're doing okay. We all have our own way off returning to the person that the predator latched on to. Hope you find your way. 🙏
leave, get a divorce before you lose your sanity
This is my husband to the T you try to walk away from an argument and he continues yelling and screaming and reading the whole day it has affected my cat our home our dog I have tried many times to escape it's like there's a chain around me that I can't cut it's miserable and I do turn it over to God it's so strange even reading all this and hearing this makes me shake inside the same way I shake when he's raging thank you for the info and sharing I don't feel quite so alone
@@shellybarnes2450 contact a divorce lawyer, contact the womens shelter immediately. covertly pack a bag, put it in the trunk of your car, when hes sleeping at 3am, get up very quietly and drive away very quietly. thats what i did. i left plenty of my things in plain sight so he wd think i was coming back soon and not look for me. its how i got a divorce, lived with a family member a hundred miles away, did not go see my parents bc he stalked them, i called them but never went to see them for months. thats how i got away.
Sadly this is all very true, married to a narcissist for 45 years..as long as you go along with their way of thinking, it’s doable but once you question them & stand up for yourself, be prepared for confrontation! Stressful & exhausting!
As long as you are a slave to their version of the future, all is well. As soon as you want something to move you forward spiritually or personally, and it uses time, that he wants all of, he will begin the passive aggressive guilting...mine said he wanted a divorce if I didn't get the jxb. Living the sweet life in Italy now with all the blood oranges...
😂🎉yesyesyes
I have said for years that arguing with a narcissist is a “Merry-Go-Round of No Progression”.
Accusation = Confession
Narcs will literally follow to keep the argument / fight going so walking away is not always an option
Or walk away and then you follow bc it’s just rude
Ugggg it’s so sick
I use head phonrs or turn up the tv or radio really loud if i camt leave the house with some keys... or call the po lice stating causing disturbance ... where possible record them in the midst of it without them knowing
My mother tried to walk away when my narc father was arguing with her. It enraged him and he literally grabbed her hand and forced her to sit back down so that he could berate her/us.
God bless you for helping us to understand and deal with a narcissistic, specially when is a parent, Christian. For many years I been provoked and thrown guilt as the bad daughter, actually the one that is taking care of one of them.
I'm so sorry.
@@Kris_Reece many of your instructions I have been doing before I found your channel, now I feel more relieved. Yes I am working with prayer and moving away from situations where I can be punched with sarcasm
This 20 minute video has to be one of your best most precise and concise plans on how to not argue with a narcissist. Thank you so very very much.
It escalated into physical intimidation, cornering, and bullying. And when I said I had to leave the room because he was bullying, cornering, and yelling at me, he wouldn’t let me leave. Then I had to make plans for a physical separation, I let him know I wanted to reconcile, but, only if he went to. Counseling, and showed real signs of true repentance. But he quit counseling and filed for divorce instead.
Yes. Boundaries. You let him know you ain’t tolerating that evil behavior. Bound people hate boundaries.
WHY would you want to reconcile with a person that bullies/threatens you???? READ 2 Tim 3, and AVOID HIM!!! STOP being a doormat!!!
Textbook Predictable reaction & response from them...
Yeap “I’m always at fault “. I learned to avoid a too long conversation, I keep it short, firm, and not let manipulation, that’s why I’m called from this parent as “The Sargent”.
@@giselamovilla8978 Good job not getting pulled into a pointless conflict that never ends! Keep it simple. Keep your center strong. Your relationship with God gives you integrity.
To funny, I’m called the Warden when God himself knows I’m not allowed to make even one decision in this marriage. 😅
God made me find these videos I've been watching a lot of different narcissists coaching videos and this is the only video that promotes the only thing that can change narcissist which is God.
Its so heartbreaking when its your own mother smh💔
I have an X who is the poster-creep, for exactly what you've said here. We've been divorced for over 20 yrs, and he is still running me in the ground to anyone who will listen.
Totally crazy!!
A captivating video summary, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let him go i did all i could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her?
Her name is Suzanne Ann Walters , and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
LOL
Your are describing my mom, please pray for me and my wel being, i am tired of this relationship and am distancing myself from her. As long as God let me. AMEN
I love you for your faith in God ❤
I do believe that God definitely brings down a narcissist on their knees
Watching this was mind blowing. This is my life currently. Thank you for bringing God into my healing. Making sure scripture is present to help with guidance through this bump in my road.
Kris your programs have helped tremendously.. THANK YOU
Yay! You made my day :)
You just described my entire marriage!!! If only I had understood many years ago what was going on…. I had no clue.
Nearly two decades later I’m starting to get the memo: he doesn’t care about you, is incapable of love, and it’s not my fault that EVERYTHING is turned into an argument 😢😢😢
If only I knew that I was not crazy…
I did this with my narcissistic husband at the end of our relationship. I didn’t understand he was narcissistic bc I didn’t know about covert narcissism. I asserted for him to stop yelling at me. He continued. I told him I would leave the room, then I did. He banged on the door yelling. I came out and got my keys telling him I needed to leave the house. He yelled that I couldn’t bc he wasn’t allowed to leave. I told him that I wasn’t going to do the xyz things he did when he left the house. Needless to say he followed me to the door yelling. (Fortunately he didn’t abuse me.) I did end the relationship shortly after bc I found the tools to manage myself and to see what my life would continue to be. I learned my part in that dysfunctional relation and have been in a healthy relationship for over thirty years now. My how life has changed.
Thank You very very helpful. Thank You.
Their silent treatment beats when they talk.
Don’t argue with a narcissist? You can’t even have a normal conversation with them. It’s only ever telling them your boundaries and giving only necessary information.
They HATE "clarification". They'll gripe: why can't you just "not question everything" and just take everything I say as it is?" Asking them to get to the point is being rude and antisocial.
they like keeping the situation blurry to confuse you. They hide their deeds in a fog they themselves create. God sees everything, though.
Those are my husbands exact words 😮
"All you care about is yourself" ... he said spitting crumbs on the side of my face as he was eating my only birthday cupcake I got from where I volunteered on Fridays (before he made me quit by constantly accusing me of sleeping with the very disabled 70 yr old man there everyone loved) as I was washing a weeks worth of his dishes he kept in his room because I had dirtied one cup using it to feed his chickens that he let get killed by raccoons everytime he fell asleep drunk. And I was only there on a vacation to see my Grandkids for the summer months and I paid the narc $500+ a month to stay in the attic, as I had my own place in another state. That was the breaking point. 10 yrs free. 33 yrs captive. He married and trafficked me as a teen. Jesus broke the chains in 2016.
I wouldn’t even be able to eat someone’s only cupcake, but especially on their birthday. That is unspeakably childish.
May God bless the rest of your life
My goodness 😢. May God restore the 33 wasted years
Awesome video! What I learned from a narcissistic relationship is that what I saw, how I felt in my ❤ & soul and my gut feelings about the many provocations I was being faced with was my truth and I could not/would not lose my truth in any situation. That is when the narc disappeared because when I explained to him calmly about the gaslighting, devaluing and continuous provocation attempts I went no contact & blocked him.
I’m glad to come across a true Christian interpretation of dealing with a narcissist even biblically!
This is spot on! When I’d say, “If you speak to me that way, I’m going to take a walk around the block.” His response, “If you walk away from me, it’s over!” I eventually ended the relationship.
It was high time
This is an end time ministry for sure.
@joshockey7447... you're right! I hadn't thought of that. Thank you
yup, its 2 Tim 3 personified!!
Great insight! So true!
Thank u Kris! And God bless you. ✝️💕 My Christian Narcissistic family ( I’m the scapegoat) has turned on me with an evil vengeance to destroy my name, spreading lies .. it has devastated me…. and I know who exactly behind it. It’s a spiritual warfare…. As my mother & sister are infected by the Jezabel spirit. And want me unalived. The hate, and persecution is off the charts. Please pray Jesus will uphold me, and justice will be done according to His will. Thank u again. 🙏✝️💕
God thanks for bringing light in my life From dark😢😢😢🙏🙏
Pearls before Swine. Big Hug All...
You need to openly rebuke them (Titus 1:3). They might not change but people around will start changing to repent to not go alongside what they do.
Everything youve said is exactly what my father is likw. Always accusing, and most times accusing of things he does. Claiming no one is perfect but then he is. Using the past against you, yelling when things are not going according to his plan. Wanting to control everything and everyone. He triggers the anger in me
Yes anger, that’s how the demons use the narcissist to get you to sin by driving you to anger! That takes away your peace and victory and then the narcissist and the demons are happy. Resist the devil, submit to God. So that you can receive from God.
I know because it’s been my battle and I’ve had lots of failures.
hold on to it, anger in that situation is self love and will be the fire that keeps you going and sets you free. they will try to shame you for it, don’t believe a word they say about you
"You have the right to remain silent". Best line I've been reminded of
Yeah, that chicken analogy with chess thats exactly how they act. And thank you for that. You don’t get to decide when you have hurt me what time I get over this I don’t even get to decide that I just have to go through the emotions until my body is done dealing with the emotions that by the way you caused, but the exact same words come out of his mouth you don’t ever forgive me. You don’t let things go. I appreciate the validation on you. Don’t get to decide. I honestly think I use those words with my husband, you did your action that was your choice, I don’t even get a choice and I just have to deal with it so you don’t get to decide when I’m done dealing with it, especially when you can’t have a conversation about it and help me through it. As a Christian woman this is one of the hardest things I have ever had to deal with.
Ex-husband, x3 siblings and father - all narcissists- I walked away and reclaimed my power and inner peace - they helped me evolve to new heights
When "we NEED them to understand" it may reveal our own issues (insecurities) that we should deal with. As a grown up, you can learn to protect your "Inner Child" from the narcs.
How would you suggest we protect our inner child from them?
@@MyParis8 That is a very good question. There are many videos and books on the subject. (Do a search on the internet.) Basically it involves discovering how our subconscious, often wounded from childhood, tends to control and limit us as adults in harmful ways. It is a healing process, but so helpful for many of the walking wounded. A wise therapist might help too.
@@mamajan99 yes course I know all taht and have even studied it at length in workshops and seminars but I meant some practical suggestions
@@MyParis8 I believe that practical suggestions would really depend on each individual situation. That is where a trained therapist could be helpful or a wise friend who has been there. It is like saying "My car won't go. What should I do?" A mechanic would need to know the symptoms to narrow down possible solutions. We have been to good therapists and have a library full of self-help books on psychology that helped us to first understand ourselves. It is really a journey, not a quick fix. You are not alone. If we did it, you can too.
I've heard a lot of people speak on narcissism, you do a good job!
Narcissists do not get therapy or repent!
Truth, same film strip in their head. No accountability and brings you into their inflicting pain on you and others as if we were responsible for what they chose to do
@@rosannearcher6706 So true. An awful and painful experience.
They don't need therapy. It's all your falt every time.
Not necessarily. I had found myself at 40 years of age, realizing that I am my narcissist mom. I am traumatizing my child, hurting those I love the most. God showed me what I had become and he saved me and rescued me from my bondage. He healed the broken parts of me so I could break this generational curse and live a righteous life. Praise Jesus, he has changed my life in every single way.
@@margaretcolegrove5122 Praise Jesus for your healing! You are not a narcissist if you are able to self reflect. Narcissists don’t change and are never sorry.
A “friend” cussed me out recently. I said I needed to hang up. I didn’t answer her calls for two days. When I finally did talk to her, she said I was “passive aggressive” for not wanting to speak to her. She has always been narcissistic but I ignored it until she full out attacked me. She knows that she was wrong but won’t admit it. I am distancing myself.
@@deelehey2827 Run, do not walk!
It’s hard to deal with when it’s an ungodly parent that lives with you & has destroyed everything good in your life and continues, while you have to take care of them.
I've Forgiven and handed him over to the Lord, but will never Trust him again!
So true and very exhausting! If you try to address it in any way you will be sorry.
Thank you for the insight and confirmation!
I've watched many videos, looking for answers and Jesus send me this channel. I am so grateful for your life. You have no idea how your channel has helped me today. Can't wait to watch all the videos. I am brazilian,and narcissist has no ideal nationality. It is very difficult to leave with one. Is literally wake above egg shells all the time. Please keep helping us. Many people need to see this.
I really appreciate this in your biblical perspective. I am also a Christian and can relate to everything you are saying. Information from a Christian perspective on this subject has been scarce. Thank you for making it available to me.