HOW TO CHECK YOUR GIRL (EP. 34)
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- Опубліковано 1 гру 2021
- 🚨NEW EPISODE of @niceandneatthepodcast available on UA-cam and all streaming platforms‼️
(S3, EP9) On this weeks episode ‘HOW TO CHECK MY GIRL RESPECTFULLY’ the fellas brought a topic in that has almost been considered taboo in this day and age. The fellas expressed how they get their point across and how to effectively “check” their woman. The tips in this episode were universal, it works both ways! They also expressed how important the environment, timing and tone is leading up to these uncomfortable conversations.
👉🏾To watch our latest episode ‘HOW TO CHECK MY GIRL RESPECTFULLY’ and subscribe to our channel just hit the link in the bio or search ‘niceandneatthepodcast’ on UA-cam👈🏾
Drop that 🥃 enjoy!
Duke Omar.bolden @just.jalon
Intro song: @xaroc__ - pledge of allegiance
“ You either gonna be loving or you gonna be egotistical “ that’s a bar fasho Omar 💎🔥💎🔥
Female Perspective: The key is to have the ability to articulate our feelings, not allow our negative emotions to steer us, and listen! As a woman, we jump to conclusions and have ideas formulated in our minds about the reason behind everything we question men about. Open conversation where we listen to each other’s needs, acknowledge and accept each other’s feeling creates the stepping stones toward a resolution. In life partnerships, it should not consist of emotional attacks on our partners, proving ourselves right, and unresolved issues. Instead, they should serve the purpose of compromise, unification and growth.
Preach🗣
Emotional respect will always lead to growth! 🥃
Excuses to cause damage.
I love this episode because I was in a relationship where I felt like everything I did was wrong because he was constantly pointing things out with no resolutions. I’m not innocent either but I was made to constantly be on the defense because I didn’t know what he was going to find fault with next. It feels good to no longer be in that relationship.
Dope convo fellas!! Only thing I’ll push back on is when men believe that if they are vulnerable and it’s not received that as a man you put your heart on the table it’s harder to bounce back. That’s a human and gender neutral trait. I challenge men to think about the fact women experience the same thing and we tend to be expected express our emotions in spite of…. don’t lean on that, we all have to pick our hearts up and try again! ❤️❤️
Yes! I agree. This is why woman also refrain from telling men the truth about certain things bc the ego and emotions are so fragile. Women get heartbroken and are truly expected to build themselves back up and be open to LOVE again. And guess what, most of us DO! Bc it’s actually resilience, not a gender based thing. As soon as men get their heartbroken, they chose to NEVER want to feel that way again, even if the person wasn’t trying to break their heart. It’s immature, weak and it’s stunts growth.
Respect. As men were taught to be stoic. Be the rock in relationships. And most women don't want an emotional crybaby guy. It's a double standard there. Not saying it's good or bad.. just is..
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Well said
Boys woke up and chose violence lol but all facts. I agree with Duke approaching is everything.
That part
THREESOME.
using the term train is just a way fragile men pretend they’re not naked with another man.
Facts
AGREEEDD!
AGREEEDD!
Great Point! 🥃
Yup perfectly said.
Whew, chile. This was a good conversation. For uncomfortable conversations to be successful, it does take a certain level of emotional maturity --- on BOTH ends. It also takes respect: respect for yourself, your partner, and relationship. Emotional maturity and respect in a relationship is sexy.
Respect is all about emotional maturity! check out one of our earlier episodes!🥃 ua-cam.com/video/s5RmEPXP5lE/v-deo.html
Can’t wait to y’all hit a million subs , y’all deserve it
Thank you! Expect to see you there when we do 🥃🥃🥃
I’m 20 yrs old trying to better myself especially in my relationship and let me tell y’all how from a mens perspective this was so helpful for me. My bf has been making it a safe space for me and I’m so not used to it bc I never been a great communicator. Things sounding stupid and childish to me always blocks me from speaking my mind and having ptsd from the reaction I used to get from expressing myself has been such a challenge. Thank you for this. I’m taking these notes and applying it.
I'm so excited to find your content, Jalon! Happened to run across your podcast yesterday and was like, "Hey, I used to know him!" Love the conversation, keep it up!
Same here..I’m soaking up game from y’all all the time. I appreciate you boys 🤝
Love your content always refreshing! I wish you all much continued growth, success and prosperity 🙏🏾
Y’all just gained a new subscriber . Such handsome mature gentlemen. I love to see it 💙💯
Love how you guys draw from and express your own experiences. Makes these convos so relatable. Keep it coming! 💯 we're watching and I for one can honestly say i learned from this convo.
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To touch on half-time, I personally believe 3 people consenting to interact in a sexual encounter, 3 people consenting to be naked or semi-naked at the same time is a threesome. It becomes a "train, amtrak, choo-choo"...to over highlight sexuality and keeps masculinity alive while underlyingly degrading the woman. Gives men another reason to show that "I'm not gay" or "we used her". Going back to the reg topic, these are gems given my man is a Congo native. Communication preferences vary so so much. What's disrespectful to one person may not be disrespectful to the other. Patience is key.
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Creating that Safe Space to be really honest and vulnerable ✨ so insightful narrative
I don’t agree , it’s a threesome period! It’s three people involved in sexual acts so therefore it’s a threesome . & it’s not true that women are more sexually fluid ! It’s a lot of “ straight “ men that are really bisexual but not comfortable with it , within themselves & they indulge in homosexual acts. I don’t have a problem with it, I just have a problem when those men hide it. Be yourself 🥴 either way a threesome is a threesome guys ! Still love you guys thou loyal listener since season 1 💓
perfect time for this episode. you guys are right. It always about how the delivery is about the situation. something I got better with over the years. we not perfect we’re only human. 💯
we can only get better from experience! 🥃🥃🥃
My guys have done it again! Thursdays have officially become my favorite day in the week because of y’all! Keep rising and striving, Kings. You’re making a difference 🥃🥃🥃.
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This was so refreshing, informative and extremely insightful to witness this conversation. Y’all are unintentionally being great role models for young men and woman out there on their journey to growth and self discovery. I hope y’all reach more than a milli ! Our community needs to hear more of these convos, the growth in y’all is so inspirational and beautiful and deeply appreciated ! Keep this up fellas 🙌🏾
LOVE 🥃🥃🥃
Another great discussion fellas. An advice I would give is to have some tangible examples written down on cue cards regarding the topic of discussion. That way you are ready when one of the guys ask give me an example. Other than that having a discussion like this is necessary in a relationship. Great job.
I’m glad y’all each individual took the courage to create Nice & Neat conversation to education many but especially for young male athletes in prev-videos dropping that ego🔥to better self but also the importance of making better decisions how it’s full circle. Love y’all keep going cheers 🥃🍸🥃
Nice & Neat merchandise? 👀We waiting.
This episode is saving my relationship! Thank you brothers for your insight and keep up the good work!
Wow, another great episode! Love hearing these type of conversations 🥃
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Factz Duke! The man sets the Tone! That’s a great example of a man taking the Lead!!
We as Men have to take to high road and lead by example. So much good content in this video. Keep it up y’all ✊🏽🤞🏽
Omar was on point when he said if you have to correct your partner you have to know them in order to have the right approach.
Umm…I don’t think a girl saying she had a threesome with 2 men is trying to “save face.” To say that someone is trying to “save face,” you’re implying that she believed the sexual act was a negative thing when it’s really YOU who thinks it’s negative. I mean I guess if you use the definition that O and Jalon said, that all people have to interact sexually, it’s not a threesome, but that is just their opinion. A threesome is defined as 3 people engaging in sexual activity together. A “train” has always been described to me as sex with different men back to back, not at the same time. I guess it’s really all just semantics, but I disagree with the “saving face” statement.
This is funny I really need this episode the ego is killing us ❤️❤️ I love you guys
Good stuff fellas ✊🏾
Great episode fellas! Love your perspectives ❤️
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This podcast is top tier.
This was a really good episode I needed this for sure 💯
glad you enjoyed it! 🥃🥃🥃
Loved this!!!! Wish my ex could have seen this this probably would have helped us 😮💨 but I will take what y’all said and apply 🤗
Another One!!! Great job fellas
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I loved this episode!
#1 podcast!
Present 🙋🏾♀️
SagGang👀🗣👌🏽💪🏾🔥
I feel triggered on the terminology and the defining of the word train. Whenever “ran a train” was mentioned the act of it was not for everyone involved to enjoy. It was the guys getting off and the girl just being recorded for shits and giggles later.
52:11 -- That is very much me and I didn't realize why I gave men pushback until I found myself with someone I truly felt like could lead me and all that pushback stopped. I remember speaking with ex's and they couldn't believe that I was doing certain things for this person so naturally that they asked me to do for months. But looking back it came down to the idea that I did not think they could lead therefore they were not worthy of having me in a completely vulnerable state.
The train conversation was a bit disappointing. Just perpetuates the negative connotation around MFM threesomes. Let women be just as free as y’all want to be.
My favorite podcast!
LOVE!!! 🥃🥃
Another banger 🔥
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There are situations where “trains” are run on women and actually the guys do not have to touch each other however a “threesome” is everyone is involved and touching because that’s the situation.
There is a major difference.
And yes I agree majority of women will not let anyone know that guys ran a train on her however she may tell if she was involved in a threesome.
And I’ll go farther I think most threesomes are agreed actions with consent and “trains” are usually not a consent situation.
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This the one I need! BAD AF
The things Duke is saying is exactly what a couples therapist would say… good stuff
Black men 💡
Always 10/10
LOVE!!! 🥃🥃
23:14 Jalon spoke a word " when do I get an opportunity to show my emotions exist" !We may not lead or make decisions based off emotions but their definitely there, and yes a threesome consist off all 3 people having intercourse, women call trains a threesome bc it sounds offputting to most ppl especially if the listener hasn't done it, Still isnt a threesome most women wouldn't even want to do a threesome if the guys too were having intercourse lol that's a funny question tho, #Demtherules.🥃🥃🥃
"You can either choose to be fire and she can be octane, or you can be a seed and she can be water."....bars.
Loved this in its entirety! But I do wanna say I agree with the using of “I” “Me” vs “We” ! One thing I hate is when one person makes it solely about them cause clearly your telling me I need to just remove myself from the entire equation🥴🤷🏽♀️cause you can do bad all by yourself & what I say doesn’t matter !
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Half time response: If 3 people are involved, it’s a threesome no matter the dynamic of the sexual encounter.
Question- If men can enjoy 2 women at the same time, then why shame a woman for wanting to enjoy 2 men at the same time?
No shame 🥃
Should have been called how to have those hard conversations. Great Episode fellas
Yo i fell out from the title lmfaoooo
This was good
I like this episode. For the culture
“women are more sexually fluid than the avg man” …who’s going to tell him?? lol
Nah fr lol
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Omar you didn’t do all that when candace cut your dreads!!🤪🤣🤣🤣
😂😂😂
It’s not a threesome if all three individuals not interacting with each other
Talk that talk🥃
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This was going great right up until 27:34 😂 it was like they said queue the male toxicity and everyone being naive 😂
Hmmmmm. Do you understand that “straight” men have sex with other men? Sis could have been telling the truth and saying it was a threesome when it was her and two other men. I hear it happens A LOT. Some straight men don’t think it’s gay to have occasional sex with another man…… y’all not ready for that though.
I definitely needed this …. With a grain of salt ofc but. Lol but needed . I think something has should be talked about in reference to the women who want respect calmness and take that for weakness …. Bc and man you in turn start to feel like you have to be aggressive instead of being calm and assertive . And then that’s takes the wrong way and you get octane like Omar was saying …. Some women have a distorted perspective of what masculinity is and calm and loving doesn’t equate to a level of dominance that some women will submit to. The lines get blurred and it makes it hard for resolve and growth . But my natural vibe personally is to be respectful in
My approach … it’s just when that’s not met with the same energy or met with lack of compassion to my emotions … I start to get defensive and project those emotions in a not so positive way and I can be overwhelming At that point . Smh …lol
Your awareness is an incredible start 🥃🥃🥃
Oh come on lol I thought y’all were more progressive than the threesome conversation! I hear y’all and if it was solely about terminology I’d agree but I think y’all missed an opportunity to check yourselves and your listeners about how you view and speak (and even laws that are made) about women and their sexuality.
...because the fact of the matter is: most (not all) but most women have the fantasy of a 2-male threesome --- "train."
Yes girl you said a handful!!!!!! They def missed the opportunity. It just trickles down to what women are allowed to do vs what men are allowed to do. Plus, “having sex” is a broad term. Sex can be a handjob or booty play to some and not to others. So even if both men aren’t touching, the fact is, they’re having sex!!!! Sex is happening.
@@amylapaix7914 "Sex is happening" !!!
2:28 yeeeessss jalan WE love details..
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yes siiiiir.
Female perspective- you need to focus on respect . You know what makes ur man feel disrespected. We might be able to cry or raise our voice a little but the rules are very very similar. If I’m hot and I need to curse I preface my curse words . No disrespect but love , the only word for that is bull shit 😂😂 and I would respect if my partner needed to express his anger he reminds me he’s attacking the problem not the person
Does anyone know the artist and song that is played for the intro?
Pledge of allegiance is the song by Xaroc
Hey guys! Do you guys have an email where I can ask for advice? I’d love to hear advice from you guys. Thank you.
After I told my girl I cheated , she change for the worst , I had to correct my ex girl a few times for inappropriate things I seen and heard and she would say “well it’s just me “ or I’m insecure
Neglecting my emotions
It was toxic, she was disrespectful, I felt I needed to match that behavior,
Tip for tap , cold shoulder
It was disgusting,
Um excuse me? You betrayed her and you should expect that the journey back to trust will be hard and uncomfortable.
Granted if she doesn't have it in her she should've left. But don't just skim over the fact that you hurt her deeply. What was she meant to do, stay the same way she was?
@@misshun1933that doesn’t mean he’s has to tolerate disrespect
Generally
Women follow Men
My feet have more egg shells than a chicken Coop. Really sad how much I value the many variables of my relationship. The pain deepens, as I noticed I'm the only one interested in going up to the board to figure out the problem; unfortunately, whilst she's watching, not taking notes.
Makes everything feel one sided as if I want this more than her. But Prudence has always been key in my mind.
(Sure, essentially when she's expressing herself, there's no need to be defensive and say the true perspective.)
In moments, sure I can be too knowledgeable or wise. Furthermore, I'm about humility, respect, and honesty, showing regards for logic and the person. Even by using my wrongs to support her pillar without it just being about my (instances of explanations).
Just know when she disappoints me all I see is 'life'. A moment provided to get over a struggle, I don't see an exit, nor issue...I see a heart and mind that deserves to be explored ,therefore, I can wave the jersey in support of her.
Unfortunately. It ends up subsequently hurting me even though my words are soft and supportive of both of our ideas in matters of heart .
In her mind they're translated from Clouds of concern & care, to a sharp knife as she listens to respond, not learn. Thus, leads to self sabotage but, (leaving me as the detonator); using big words? I became a "Manipulative", sentence structure? "You're just good at talking".
🥹I have to look into my hands....and watch the 'mental' tools I was fixing with get drenched in tears, and disdain 'Why won't she let me build'...is all I ask myself inside. 😖😞
I pray one day either she's willing to be evenly 'Yoked' in :Hope, Expression, Concern & Construction; yoked, with the eggs we've been provided rather than use the shells to make me feel/believe/know I'm losing her everyday.
P.S No one should ever have to wake up to a career they love, feeling like everyday they are intimidated by their boss or one day they'll be fired.
What do you think of dealing w a woman with three kids , 3 baby daddies
I hate my ex, 🤦🏽♂️
Personally I feel that if you intentionally and knowingly walk in a room with other men who are going to be naked with their penises out it’s all the same. It’s still a sexual environment, y’all are still committing a sexual act together to one person. Juices mixing and errrthang lol so ion know loll but this was a interesting and knowledgeable video
If this a safe space why y’all shaming women.
I like the episode, but I do feel like y’all be holding back a lil bit. And making every sentence extremely respectful, cause y’all know y’all women be watching this episode. So y’all do the best you can to not insult them. And it kind of takes the edge and the spice of the subject. I don’t know. Maybe I’m wrong. But that’s how I feel
As they should… why should they ever disrespect their women for your entertainment? That’s who they sleep next to every night, have sex with…. You don’t matter sir. Only a toxic, overly masculine man would be reckless enough to feed into the weird agenda that’s going around were it’s men vs women and talk down on them at all cost to please other men. That’s weird!
I must say, this some bullshit😂
Y’all lost me at checking your girl lol you don’t have to check anyone but yourself. Only checking your girl should be doing is cashing a check on her 💰 rather it’s called communicating how you feel rationally and respectfully. Checking is for children.
Blue pill