Great encouragement. Thank you for making this video and driving home the point that anyone can heal. Anyone. Even a little. Just start. Too many believe they cannot, that they’re too damaged, or broken. Henry Ford famously said “If you think you can or if you think you can’t, you’re right.” Being the victim is so much easier. Then it becomes a habit, and even gets them attention. For many, as painful as it is to stay where they are, it seems safer than changing. It’s so easy to focus on one’s limitations rather than possibilities and remain stuck. One can either own their limitations and stay a victim or overcome them, and keep trying, little by little.
Thank you! We believe in encouragement too ... it's medicine. You're right, it's one little step at a time but they build on each other. Julie@TeamFairy
Hi Anna, I was oblivious to the fact that I was the cause of my now 37 year old son’s CPTSD… and we now both watch your videos and our relationship is getting much better. Thank you for all you do! ♥️🙏🏻♥️
To speed up healing: 1. Learn about complex CPTSD- about dysregulation 2. Notice “ordinary” problems vs trauma related problems 3. Move trauma story from looping thoughts to memory 4. Stop isolating or trying to control other people’s behavior. Focus on healing. Notice being triggered, and learn to self regulate. 5. Stop trash talking people 6. End bad relationships 7. Leave bad work environments 8. Release the belief bad people are attracted to you 9. Recover from addictive behaviors, don’t escape life 10. Ask yourself and list of what you can do to heal
Im a clinical psychologist and had a breakdown about 6 months ago. It can happen to absolutely ANYONE! My skills and insights kept an especially difficult legal situation from getting out of hand emotionally ... then BANG. Essentially I had to be in bed for 3 months, and I just listened to this kind video over and n over to sooth myself. Be kind to yourselves people.
I’m one too and when people said I had PTSD, I didn’t believe them or understand (!) now I realize I have CPTSD (not just depression, being spoiled or having anger issues). Struggling with my own kiddos has opened my eyes… I found myself behaving in ways that shocked me… My pain and difficulties led me to these videos. I honestly am overwhelmed at the healing that I need to do… but I’m preparing myself… thank you for this video! I’ve got a lot of work ahead…
You're not alone. I have Phd in behavioral sciences and worked as en expert in the field of domestic abuse. Recently my mum's death triggered many memories off my abusive childhood and turned my life into an even more wrecked version of the survival mode it had been before that and had a crisis that involved reaching out to an organisation that gives crises help. Fortunately I was shortly after that diagnosed with CPTSD and found my way into this channel (and Heidi Priebe's, she is a dr. in psychology with CPTSD and her video's are a great addition to these).Wishing you all the best.
No one is immune, I imagine you would need extra support and specialists in your field to counsel you, also much braver to admit it when within the field. Blessings on your rest, recovery and healing. ☮️🧘☮️
I'm 65 yrs old. I've struggled in silence my entire life. Abused by a mother's angry rages. And I was that scapegoat child. Plus my older sister bullied me, having neighborhood kids, or cousins join in. At the age of 47, a college professor told me he thought I have adhd. It made sense, so I just kept struggling. Every attempt I've made through the years to seek counseling was a total failure. After the death of my dad in 2019, and breakup of a long time boyfriend, stress of my 2 adult children with addictions to heroin, loss of friends and family. I've isolated so much, I don't even leave my house anymore. I've done alot of UA-cam research for about research on mental health to find more answers. I'm glad I found you crappy childhood fairy. I know I have cpsd. Anyway struggling alone.
Please know you are not alone. 59 and so similar we need an online group to share our development and goals. The isolation is not helping our growth. I'm sure having a safe gal-pal to share our struggles and to support our goals is a win-win!
I feel your pain and never leave my house, too afraid and too drained to even try any more, Anna has brought me some insight , however I still feel like I'm a lost cause. Too old to start over again, nor do I have desire to go thru another rejection or judgement.
1. Get up early in the morning an hour early 2. Write down anxious and defeated past 3. Meditation 4. Exercise hard, heart rate up for more than 20 minutes 5. Get into nature 6. Movement in the group 7. Eat protein 8. Make a list of most important things to do, three most important things, one most important thing 9. Don’t talk about the negative things (all the time) 10. What am I avoiding? * Find something kind you can do for someone (without them knowing)
1. Careful about the getting up one hour early bit. If you are sleep deprived, you're just going to ruin your health. Not only will it have an impact on your brain, but it will also have a detrimental effect on your cardiovascular health, your renal function, your liver function, any auto immune conditions (my ibs and my graves always flare up when I am sleep deprived for more than a couple of weeks in a row), any cancer cells that might have remained dormant until then... 4. Also, exercise which rates your heart rate won't be any good if you have a tendency to be high strung, jumpy etc. Much better to stretch and to get myofascial release and/or deep tissue massage. Beware also of the risk of injury (I did so much running in my 30s that I ended up with sciatica. I would walk/jog/run home from work, 20 kilometres, several evenings a week). About half of it was along a canal, with pastures and woods (owls, kingfishers etc.), so it was the best part of the day... but it was too much exercise, especially as I went to the gym as well (to get rid of the stress and because if I came home early after work or stayed home at the weekend, one of the landladies would come knocking on my door and ask nosy questions and criticise just about everything about my lifestyle, including... my underwear!) 7. Eating protein is a good tip, I'd favour oily fish. Try cholinergic supplements and/or foodstuff. 9. I second not talking about the negative stuff too much. I've tried Lacanian psychoanalysis a bit (with a filthy pig) for a bit and have known people (all of them women, usually wealthy and unhappily married and/or divorced) who spent 10, 20 years having therapy (mostly Lacanian psychoanalysis) and they didn't get ANY better, far from it. They added various psychotropes, alcohol, smoking, comfort eating, sex toys, swingers' clubs, BDSM clubs, gigolos... but they remained stuck at the same stage.
@@yehmen29 Wow, I never got such a long comment on a comment. Thank you for sharing. I grew up with a mother that ingrained in me that sleep is holy. So I am this person that always sleeps at least 7 to 8 hours and 30 minutes. For me getting up an hour later results in me getting to bed an hour earlier the next day. I never learned to do any sports other than biking 20km a day (to and from school) at the moment I only walk my dog 35 minutes per day. When I lived in Germany I walked and biked in general more. I like fish, but I am a bit scared of micro plastic and stuff like this in cheap fish and the expensive fish is just: expensive. I have never heard of Lacanian therapy. I in general never went to therapy, even if everyone told me I should go (because my mother died when I was 12 and growing up with the illness of my mother), I got to know some therapist, but I felt like they thought I am stupid, so I did not go there again. Within the last some months I realized a lot. When I told of some things that I thought were normal growing up, to some of my friends, I was shaking. For me it was helpful to once tell them what I realized and found out. I don’t want to talk about the negative stuff all the time. I’m just so grateful that I found out that I am not stupid, just disregulated.
I've lived my adult life believing "this is just the way I am." Stumbling onto your site has opened my eyes to how my past has created chaos/clutter in my life. At 70 years old it's time to deal with this. Thank you.
Busted! My hair is currently not brushed in the back... 😂😂😂 Anna, you truly understand us and are so loving and non- judgemental while sharing hugely important insights. When I observe someone living their true purpose and using their unique gifts to help others, it is so inspiring. There are a handful of people I have encountered like you, who radiate with authenticity and the spirit of service. I ache to be a woman for others and show gratitude for my blessings in this way some day, too. Thank you for your help and for setting an example of what is possible for those of us who struggle with cptsd. ❤❤❤
I’m so damaged I will not let any man try even try to talk to me I only fix my self up a little for drs Appt s I don’t want anyone taking a second look at me I’m still running from my abusive Ex boyfriend 😢
I understand beenthere a while now. It's ok, you've been doing what you needed to do to try tojust survive and heal from the things suffered a little. Getting involved with another person when we have not healed from the last heartache would not be fair tothem or ourselves anyway. People jump to new relationships, they often will get into some drug or be drinking alot & go wild partying and when young that's what I usually did when going through a heartbreak, or trying to recover from an abusive person's attacks.....but from 1 to the other I never healed inside from anything, I just shoved it down deeper, tok more substances and kept on keeping on. We can only do that for so long. At the time it can be like a survival tactic, it distracts from our feelings, lets us act like we're ok. But eventually .when your life is at a better place, when you're strong enoufh, then you'll find you will start wanting answers, healing, you want to not fall into a bad one again so you'll start processing your pain, accepting it and forgiving where possible, meaning even yourself you will forgive when you start having compassion for YOU. Love yourself, you've come through alot and you can do anything. You can win in this too,dear. SAy out loud every day "I'm great, I'm worthy, I am not perfect but I AM wonderful and I CHOOSE HEALING AND LIFE!!"@@FaithDixon-cr1lg
I was traumatized in my childhood by an abusive father, physically and emotionally. I was stuck in anger for years. At the beginning, the anger helped me to react and win the battle against him. But, as I was stuck in it, it became a poison in my heart, and I couldn't find a way out. When semeone told me one day I had to forgive, I was devastated, because I thought that to forgive is to say the trauma is OK. My father died, I couldn't confront him anymore. I didn't understand that my anger didn't accomplish any justice, but was just a poison attacking my own heart. It took me ages to agree with stopping accusing. One day, I understood what is to forgive (and what it is not) and I did. I prayed to forgive my father, because I didn't want him to win. Since I forgave, my life changed, I was supprised to see a change in my relationship to people, without this wall of anger in my heart.
Hey guys, too rushed to express fully, how much this is blessing me, and how much I pray for all of us! I have read lots of comments about people who feel like they are hopeless, too far gone, etc. and I am struggling with the same. God helped me remember all the reals I have come across of people getting old, discarded furniture off the side of the road, and transforming it into beautiful and lovely pieces. We, too, can be transformed!!! Love and big hugs to all!!!❤️🤗
Thank you❤ I was so numb for so long, and I hid my emotions, or when I was triggered. Feeling dead inside felt easier, but empty...life has given me one obstacle or avalanche after another during this last year. It's been too much and once the emotions started to surface the wheels fell off. My memory has suffered, I can't concentrate, my brain feels broken and my executive functioning is a day to day struggle. I know that I'm capable of so much...and it takes time, but I feel ready to be loved and move forward. ❤
If you don't please add a D3 1000 mg. and one Omega 3 (1000 mg) to your daily vitamins, (the kind that are caps with kind of gel in them are better to take, easier to digest on your stomach so they're more easily absorbed). If you don't take a daily womens multivitamin, add that also. You'd be surprised how deficient most Americans are in d3 and omega 3. In one study, omega 3 helped people more with depression/anxiety than a prescribed antidepressant did.. For D3 we need sunlight in order for our body to be able to make the D3 we need, and in the last 2 decades we all have been getting out in the sunlight so much less due to cellphones/laptops/internet use. Without sunlight we can not make D3 and achiness, fatigue, depression result without enough of it. Once I added these thingsI came out of a bad mental fog and strted being able to feel motivated to make some progress, I had been utterly lacking in my ability to just think well. So if you don't take those try it a few weeks and just see if it helps.
@@KathyHussey063 always remember to add K2 in with D3 as they work together to hugely benefit us while the K2 balances D3's effects on our use of Calcium
This is so good. I'm taking notes. I just finished the first 44 minutes and taking a break. There's much to absorb. This is incredibly helpful. Best counseling session I've ever had. So grateful Anna. Thank you❤ God bless you powerfully.
I use to smoke Marijuana alot, it did give me energy, etc. But I can honestly now say, it was me avoiding my loneliness. It also stopped my dreams at night, and I'd stop my prayers or chanting. So I stopped. I'm starting to dream again, which is to me very is spiritual necessity. Spirit world sends messages through dreams. I'm also much happier if I pray and chant at night, in my silence Before bed. So I'm glad you are telling people, do not self medicate. It's stops the healing process to a halt. Thank you so much, you are an amazing women and helping so many people including me..... Bless your heart ten fold. ❤❤❤
I didn’t realize I had to take steps to heal until I joined adult children of alcoholics & I have so much hope for myself now. I always just thought time would heal things which proved to be untrue every year, but I guess I just kept waiting
I’m 45, divorced, single mom. I neglected to build a career when I was younger. I was too scared to learn new things, too scared to apply to different jobs, didn’t know what I wanted to do, had zero confidence in myself, and ended up marrying and having kids. Over 15 years later we’re divorced, and I’m stuck in low-level jobs unable to support myself independently of my ex-husband or my mom, who helps out a little when she can (but she’s retired and on a tight budget too). I’m in a 2 bdrm apartment and sleeping on the couch so my kids can have bedrooms. This apt is expensive for what it is. It’s not fancy AT ALL, but it’s almost $2000/month. I DREAM of having a place of my own, to build equity, feel secure. That’s a long way off still, but I’m trying to take steps in the direction of that. I’m taking an online course to learn some new skills in the hope of getting a better paying job. This uncertainty is draining and scary, but I must have some strength because I ended a relationship that could have given me financial stability….it just wasn’t working. I’m ready to make it on my own. Come on Universe!
@@regularity2556 They’re a 15 year old boy and a 12 year old girl. They need their own space, and I want to give them the best experience possible. They used to share a room when they were younger.
@@thanksagainforthetea I’ve had this exact idea. Thing is, I want to keep my kids in their school district for continuity and friendships, and the city we live in is fairly expensive. The housing market skews toward middle to upper class incomes. Even buying land is the same price small houses were back in the ‘00s. I could’ve stayed in a relationship that wasn’t working in order to have financial security, but I’m grateful for the strength to leave it for the possibility of a better life someday.
Wow! I have really nice hair people say, but I don’t care if I walk outside with it not brushed and I forget to brush it in the back. And sometimes realize I didn’t brush it when I leave so try to work my hands. And then put the hairs out the window when driving.
Im currently in school for Psychology because of individuals such as yourself. You have helped me a lot, and inspire me to stay in school. I hope to be as awesome as yourself and help others who want to help themselves and help others. Thank you
4 years ago, I realized that I suffer from CPTSD. Once I realized this, I took steps to rid my life of toxic relationships. I only found your videos yesterday when trying to figure out how to reconnect with people in a healthy way. After listening to a couple of your videos, I was finally able to put a name to a feeling I've gotten all my life when I'm in the presence of certain people or situations. It's a rush of adrenaline through my heart. For literally 40+ years, I thought the feeling meant that I was excited or needed to act on something. But after hearing you talk about recognizing triggers, I realized that every time I've had this feeling, it's because I was being triggered. The feeling only ever comes when I'm around a toxic person or in a situation i had no business being in. Up until 4 years ago, I didn't know toxic people existed. I didn't know that I was toxic. I didn't recognize my own destructive behavior. I just thought I was living life my way. I'm so happy to understand what this feeling is now. Now, when I feel it, I'll know and trust that I'm experiencing a trigger and make better decisions on how to act. I just recently took a step back from a budding friendship when I realized that I was being emotionally manipulated. I'd get that rush feeling around this person. Now I know I need to keep her at a distance. I don't really know what a healthy friendship is. At 50 years old... at least I know now what a healthy friendship is not. I'm off to take in several hours of your videos now. I think they'll help me to have tools to move through this world more successfully. Thank you so much. Btw, I get that triggered rush feeling when I check responses to my comments, so I don't do this anymore either. If you respond to this comment, I won't see it, but hopefully the comment and any responses might help others. Thanks again.
I highly suggest EMDR therapy for people with CPTSD. Get the book by Pete Walker called CPTSD From Surviving to Thriving. Also the book called The Body Keeps the Score. This channel is awesome too. I have been in EMDR therapy for over 2 years for CPTSD. It works for me and it might work for you. The books I recommended are what my psychologist recommended to me and they are fantastic. Thanks Crappy Childhood Fairy. You are incredibly insighful and are a great part of healing but this is a lifetime mental illness that doesn’t go away but it does get much better.
Your last sentence is what I think can drain my power. The more I see/discover the way & the depth of damage done by my abusive relationships and then by my “biblical counselors” the more it seems the wound stays open. I paid to be abused?? Talk about trust issues. I still have such trust issues with people charging for a service- especially if my sickness gives them a return customer $$$. It’s a ride to be on the path of recovery. You realize …oh, that’s why I do that!! They were gaslighting me my entire life! lol sorry to be so negative! I find that having spaces like this of expressing authentic emotions of pain/loss is helpful bc it means I’m not the crazy one calling a lie a lie or abuse, abuse. I think I should try EMDR again. I’m so glad it’s helping you. Grateful for Anna and her bold truth-telling. “Crap-fit” is a fave term of hers. ❤🌱🕊️
@@Deelitee I think we are more normal than most realize. I still have trust issues but the flashbacks and negative self talk have become less and less. EMDR rewires your brain to put all of the emotional distress surrounding flashbacks and yes, crazy bible thumping idiot talk into a neater package (for lack of a better word). It never really goes away but it is less distressing than it used to be. Some of my memories were distressing to an 8-9 on a scale of 1-10 and now they are a 3-4. I have had to work hard to change my thought processes but I’m getting there. I still have issues surrounding my childhood and adulthood traumatic events and learned behaviors but it is a journey not a destination if you know what I mean. I get that it’s hard to pay for help (that may not be what you expect) but you pay for other things that are good and bad for you I bet. And you probably don’t bat an eye at those purchases. 😉😊 You only get drained by what you allow. If a therapist isn’t a good fit, fire them and search for one that is. I know that is hard for some depending on their location. It doesn’t matter what letters are behind their name as long as you can “try to build trust” with them and they know what they are doing. Good luck in your journey! ❤️
Tried EMDR once, didn't work for me. I don't remember details (they ask you go to any time in your life and then ask what you see) because my brain is great at not remembering specific details/blocking. I also went to the therapist for a while during covid shut downs and I only felt re traumatized. I'm loving this channel because and learning independently.
Thank you! This may be the most important video I've ever seen. It's like the Fairy pulled out the deep, damaged parts of my psyche, lovingly and clearly described them, and outlined healthy tools for their soothing and healing. Just, wow!
Crappy childhood fairy you are my therapist. I've already tried face-to-face therapy and it doesn't work for me. However your videos have really helped me tremendously. Thanks for all you do.
I have been watching you for quite a while and have benefited from your wisdom, I struggled with my husband's narcissism for 20 years, but in the past year after moving to Panama, I really focused on my healing and helping him to understand his adoption trauma. He would get better, but it only lasted a few days. Finally, he agreed that he suffers from depression, as I do. however. I have been taking meds for years. He finally agreed to take the same thing I take and he is a changed man. I honestly was on my last nerve because of his emotional abuse and had asked him to leave, but we can't afford to live apart. I realize this isn't a typical outcome, but it's working for us. We now have a very good relationship. He even did much better on a job interview and he's expecting a call back next week. Thankfully the antidepressants we take don't require a prescription in Panama. Moving here a year ago was the single best thing we have ever done together and the meds are now making it even better. The pace is so much slower and the weather is perfect. Thank you for your continued help.
wow I wonder how .many of us are on antidepressants? I Have a theory that people like us with crappy childhoods are depleted of serotonin much earlier than most, due to the stress of dealing with triggers. I have no mental energy at all without them, I'm a zombie. So, why did you choose Panama? I dream of relocating.
What resonatef with me most is the self-sabotaginge i have been doing regards to being stuck in a rutt for lack of self confidence and and, willpower and motivation
I have started putting boundaries, started the daily practice and meditate, doing a full time job which is nice in general, stopped people pleasing a lot, less critisizing people, supporting financially my parents which I have done it a lot of times (even if they were abusive and neglectfull to me because I honor them and still love them, my father was an alcoholic abusive and neglectful person and my mother was the opposite very caring and full of love but toxic too in a lot of ways),left an abusive relationship, started saving money which I had to do it for a long time, stopped overspending, started noticing red flags in people and potential partners and not even getting involved with them started taking care of myself as much as I can and all these things arent enough. I am so disregulated that I cant feel fullfillment from all these things. I know that I am a strong person otherwise I wouldnt do all these things, but sometimes I feel hopeless and helpless. I am now saving money to join your membership or your courses probably in winter. I cant thank you enough for your help, your courage and your passion to help other people. I feel that you are like a friend-and proper mother figure I never had. Its so relieving to think that we are not alone in our path even if they are different in a lot of ways even if our experiences are also a lot different and what a relieve to connect with people who are wounded but still unique, good hearted and admirable. I feel that I need to say this at everyone struggling with trauma. You are not alone, you are strong, you are capable of great things, life is long take as much time as you need for your healing except if its something dangerous, stand up again when you fall. You deserve everything good in this life, you are born to receive love and give love. Stay strong put your armour and fight.❤❤❤❤
I send your words right back at you dear ! Write them up and put it on your fridge, say them outloud every day. WE CAN CHOOSE a different future, a different today by choosing to love ourselves correctly, nurture ourselvess and be a good example to other women on how to be good to our own selves instead of just trying to mae everyone else happy all the time. WE an be our own cheerleader and biggest fan and find a wealth of comfort in that self cmpassion and acceptance of US. You deserve your own support dear, so give it to yourself and thank you for sending out your good message tous.
I have lived a lot of your talks. I can only pray for the people that have taken advantage of me. God will set me free. I will go work my bucket list. Later.
The higher is the one that can always go to in prayer, by the way I truly believe that I was able to come across your videos. Thank you Anna and obviously that the Lord for these healing pathways. I've been able to make sense out of my issues. Thank you so much for your energy. I wish you much success for using it for tge good of people in these circumstances which you speak of.
Oh, my gosh! I just have to share this. I've watched about 80% of your stuff over about 3 years on top of decades of fortunate recovery work, and now I am good to go. The finishing touch is self talk. Present positive confessions. Highly effective. But we have to believe what we are saying, and that is where a loving spiritual presence comes in. Someone gave me a book about it.
Thank you! I feel like my emotional intelligence and coping mechanisms improved after watching your videos often. May good fortune and abundance come to you!
I’ve never found anyone I felt safe enough with, or not judged by, to open up about my traumas…i learned a long time ago to put on an act and idk how to stop 🕊️ Atm, group therapy is the worst place because I compare myself, then degrade myself, if others have it worse and I need to just “suck it up” as my mother always tells me
I hear you. Keep watching as much CCF as you can... marinate yourself in whatever video piques your interest. You will "see" things as you've never seen them before! Once you see something, you cannot unsee it... you will become aware. Then you'll find more CCF direction which will provide tools for your change from old subconscious triggers and patterns of response growing into new conscious reactions and responses. As you figure your unconscious self out, you will surprise yourself with the release, the lightness, you'll feel. and one day you will hear yourself laugh out loud in joy...
I am in an ananon program. Have b en for three. Years. By working the 12 steps, I have earned victory from victimization and a tool box to use in times of trouble. I must say though the primary strength producing relationship is my life is with my HP whom I choose to call GOD.
I left from a job because they were forcing us to wear smart shoes as a waitress and my legs were hurting and bleeding badly and when I told them they told me you are gonna be used to that. I didnt even stay for a month!!! 😂. Taking care of yourself is sometimes hard but totally worth it.
Wow! Those shoes don't sound very smart if they were hurting your feet and legs! I hope you can find a job where you are allowed to wear shoes that work for you! Julie@TeamFairy
Im only into the 2nd video of yours and it confirmed to me that the mental health diagnosis I have been given and have always thought were wrong are wrong!!! So much of what you were saying are the exact sympt oms I have given several doctors/ psychiatrist and have been given depression medication most of my adult life which I definitely did not need I'm 52 years old I truly wish when I was 18 we had internet and your videos. My life would have probably been more on the happy spectrum! I have four children who all need to watch your videos also because I can see I have caused all of them see PTSD
Anna we love you. You saved me many times and cannot thank you enough. I share your channel with anyone I can. Keep doing this please. It is making a difference.
Oh man. Last year I went septic from a giant kidney stone & needed surgery and a hospital stay. Just found you this morning and feel like that's happening to my soul and emotions🤧🤒🤕 It's good, the soul infection needs to go! But it doesn't feel great. But it feels good, because finally doing something! Thank you! Did my first daily thing this morning. Once I got thru it, I did feel better. It's like I'm under a giant pile of pebbles. Gotta remove one or two at a time, then will be properly better!
Ouch! I used to have kidney stones (oxalates of calcium - I love cheese) and although I have never needed surgery for them, I still distinctly remember how painful they were. Less than a paroxystic episode of sciatica but close. I haven't had any stones for a dozen years now, I am still eating a lot of cheese, what seems to have helped is that I started to test my vitamin d levels (or rather, my gp started testing them), we found out I was severely deficient, so I started supplementing, and not only has it made a massive difference to my flares up of auto immune diseases and seems to have helped to keep my cancer cells dormant so far (fingers crossed) but the renal colics are gone! I think the vitamin d may help calcium to be absorbed by the bones, when it would otherwise end up in the circulation, and then would be filtered by the kidneys, and result in stones. At the time of that first vitamin d, I had hypercalcaemia too, which was frightening (it can be a sign of bones mets) but mri scans didn't show any bone mets, and once I got my vitamin d in the 'green' range (the range my doctors recommend is higher than what the lab recommends, it is similar to the range recommended in teh PhD diet) the calcium dropped back to normal figures. I loved the image of the pebbles although I will adapt it and visualise brambles, mould...
This has been a favorite segment. I like how you list habits I feel a strong connection with the instincts of balance and you really do have a beautiful heart very helpful when it comes to things like addiction and self talk.
Hi, Anna. I have just recently found your channel and am finding these videos so helpful. I went through counseling due to a dx of Bipolar Disorder II and learning to accept that I had a Very Crappy Childhood. I have healed already in so many ways, but this particular one really hit home. 35 minutes in I had to take a breather. I recognized how much work I still had to do, but you're helping to lead the way. I appreciate all the time and effort you put into this work. Thank you SO much!
you add a lot of value with this channel, so thank you. Just wanted to add that the reason “self medicated” is a widely used term now is because it is less stigmatising than “drug addict” or “alcoholic”. The stigma of using substances to cope with trauma just adds so much more shame to the equation and makes it even harder to seek help and when you seek help sometimes the help can see you through the lens of being a dirty drug addict and make things worse. I don’t think people are using the term to make light of their coping behaviours it’s to have less stigmatised terms
I must say I'm so grateful I am for your side passion project everyday. Since around April 26th when you're CCF channel popped up in my UA-cam premium feed for the first time. I was half assed listening to another channel while doing other things because I was physically busy I didn't pick a different channel when your first CCF video started next. You mentioned limerence. I felt immediately and sadly connected deeply to that word. I love reading and writing, correct spelling, good punctuation and knowing definitions. I had never even seen, let alone heard that word, but I immediately googled the definition of limerence. I had a heart wrenching but equally freeing life changing break through. I had messed up all my serious long term relationships that I had previously been in since I met him at 17 yrs old....for 20 yrs by that point.... by not being aware I had been in limerence with my (I thought was my life's deepest love and my best friend). I had been dissociating his shown red flags and telling me he loved me, just not in that way😢 I had a full body panic attack, rapid cycled through at least 3-4 different painful emotions for over 4 hours after first googling that words definition in the 1st video of yours I seen. It ( my C-PTSD, bipolar 1 brain, had been trapped in a 20 yr "one sided, delusional relationship" which meant it knew how to make him my limerent obsession, absolutely unconsciously aware of even the word limerence without me even knowing ?!?) Ugh. I was immediately rapid cycling through uncontrollable, tearful sobs and a river of tears... days later with rage, deep grief and embarassment😢 I had dragged him with me through my life, including all my long-term relationships with other men and a lifetime of friends and acquaintances (since the age of meeting him @ 17, I'm 38 now..🥺😭💔😩🤬😞🥴) showing him off like a shiny gold perfect trophy that was never even mine to show off !!!! I immediately realized that made me like a walking, magical thinking joke to them most of my life !!!!! So everyone else knew... including all my childhood friends, my mom, him and my only half sister... the whole time = 2 decades... EXCEPT ME.😩😞🥺😭🤬😭🤬😭🤬😩 BUT I AM AWARE NOW AND AS PAINFUL AS THAT'S BEEN ( went no contact with him and my only living relative (besides my 2 teens) my sister that day). He'll never be allowed back in my life (which still feels like to me, I lost my "best friend", I told him everything !!!!! Stuff I wouldn't tell anyone else but him, not even my own sis... because I thought he was who I could trust the most) and they both never told me the truth... even though they also both knew the sadness over it, especially after 20 yrs... was making me further drink myself slowly to death everyday, all day for many years by that point .. about over 6-7 yrs ago my sis just txt me " it's never gunna happen"..😭 THANK U FOR BEING HONEST U DROP THAT OBVIOUS TO ALL, BUT ME INFORMATION OFF TO ME FINALLY !?!?😭🥺😢 Since that day the veil was lifted completely from my mind's eye, I couldn't put my blinders up to block out the painful truths anymore. Since the point of meeting him.... he HAD told me at least 3 times, in different ways.... that he would never want me, like I did him😢... I had seen/heard several red flags about him I realized now I did immediately notice but blocked out without realising i could even do that or that LIMERENCE was even a word😢 Thanks though FAIRY !!!! SO glad I'm in on the joke now too and can't blick it out. Still flashing through the emotions of anger, grief and embarrassment daily. But now.. I'M AWARE & CAN'T BLOCK IT OUT. So finally decades later, now I'm getting the proper mental health help (talk therapy for many yrs to follow) I'll learn to process, accept, FINALLY let go of (= heal) these lifetime childhood trauma symptoms and that damn never ending looping negative mindset... Then I could actually find a man, who loves me too and settle down forever. That would have never been possible for me at all without your "side passion project" CCF, UA-cam channel making me aware of limerence 💯 I'm still deeply hurting, all alone, but also equally grateful for you and this CCF channel... I now get to accept it all too. Once healed, my real dreams can actually come true now... thank YOU & CCF so much !!!!!!❤ I'm so grateful for you and I love this channel and it's community for life now😊🙏 God bless you. Amen❤
Incredibly well expressed! I too have had a limerence situation, which is now totally exposed to me thru Anna's CCF. Thank you, Anna! I truly understand the myriad emotions you've gone through... I have only recently become aware of limerence at the end of a very intense 5-year relationship with a person I felt was a true soulmate. "Once you see it, you can never unsee it!" Healing the limerence situation externally was instant... internally, not so fast. It's a well-established unconscious pattern established in my crappy childhood. I am now consistently redirecting the subconscious impulses of that old negative limerence pattern, taking advantage of brain neuroplasticity to actually physically rewire a new pattern of conscious response in my brain, with a "Stop, Annie! Now, choose a conscious, more aware, reaction to this unconscious limerence trigger!" I now know how to program myself into a much healthier choice of reaction. Habit creation! Thank you to Dr Caroline Leaf 🍃
Just found this video and I’m very upset right now but you said so much that rings true for me I’m living in my car my entire family excommunicated me a year ago and all these repressed memories have come back and I’m in the lowest place I’ve been in my life. Thank you for being so smart and putting this out for people like me .
I love this video. I have just been learning about nervous system regulation after many years of self help books and mental health diagnosis and medications. It's not great fun looking at yourself and taking ownership that I may be the problem, and the solution. I love the comments...maybe we're not crazy but just human beings living in extremely confusing times. Everyone be kind to yourselves, and each other.
I started watching your videos about a year ago. I had no idea what I experienced as a child was trauma. Now I have effective, healthy coping skills to move forward and break the cycle of trauma so my children have a different experience. Thank you so much!!!
Dearest Anna, thank you so so so so much for putting out this incredibly valuable and nowhere-else-to-be-found content! Even just listening to you helps me heal and put things into perspective. I feel so much love and gratitude for you🙏☀️🌸🥰❣️❣️❣️
My life was like a video game where I couldnt get past a level. Yesterday, while experiencing pain I didnt react like I used to... I didnt just give up. Inside I was inspired to play past that level. I went to sleep with You Tube autoplaying and in the middle of your video, in my sleep I started to hear answers... like the you tube videos called "walkthroughs" where others have played the game and tell you how to get to the next level... You gave a series of pathways and it woke me up. I have never heard so many pathways to health in one place at one time. Just simply amazing. I can only imagine the amount of pain you have lived through and witnessed to have so much clear understanding of what people who are stuck go through. I am proud of you because helping others through honesty is a profound way to show yourself you love yourself. I love to learn and am always collecting life lessons and understandings. Even while going through the worst I am seeing the value in the lesson of the experience. Solving problems is my super-power, my weakness is I will move mountains to help others but wont lift a finger to help myself.. and I dont know why. But now I have pathways. The words "thank you" are not enough. I cant afford your courses right now, I am barely surviving, but whenI get the money I am (now I'm crying) I am going to pay for your courses just to give you the money because you helped me like nobody else could or would.
It's like the harsh emotions you learn as a child are actually hard-wired into your body for the rest of your life when you are triggered. Your coping skill techniques are so helpful, not so much for me, because it is too late, but for younger people with a full life ahead of them. It is essential that they put in the effort to get training/education on these coping skills. Kudos.
You are such a blessing! Thank you for these!! Thanks for being honest w your own issues. It helps that you can admit your own struggles and also find ways to grow beyond them.
Anna your voice feels safe like an aunt I never had thank you for your videos I’m slowly ACTING in my best interest not just listening and wishing for a different life. I just got prescribed Wellbutrin and it’s helped so much already (ask your doctors about this antidepressant)I’m able to think more clearly and not waste away in self isolation and depression ..❤ 34 and just getting autonomy and learning WHO I am!
I grew up with a pair of violent sexual predators. One was a narcissistic psychopath. The other was a raging alcoholic. Every adult in my life was mentally disturbed & children of parents who grew up in the Great Depression. I can remember my grandfather walking behind a horse, plowing the garden. Any word spoken wrong could elicit a backhand or sarcasm that sliced the soul. Women & children were chattel. I read a lot about Nazis as a kid, dreamt of them because I felt I was in a concentration camp. I turn 70 next year and I am just beginning to realize what I lost over the years because of my fears. I
These types of family situations are awful. If you're interested, try Daily Practice. It is a great way to process fears and resentment. You can find the free course here: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice Nika@TeamFairy
The work continues. …started a new job for which I am overqualified. I figured I have to rejoin the workforce somewhere. And I have just 12 years more to work. Well, who knew REtramatization could happen! So many triggers have me experiencing CPTSD again. Was describing some of the things I’ve experienced and how these made me feel. Wow-took me back over 30 years! These videos are helping me get back on track. Thank you for what you do!
I hope all works out for you. I’m in the same position. Working an entry level job when I’m in my 50’s. I’m glad to see someone that looks like me in this YT sector. Praying for All! 🙏🏽
You are such a sweet soul with wonderful advice. I did not even know how to identify dysregulation until a year ago. I am 43 years old. I was diagnosed with ptsd in 2014 and even then, the therapy was so underdeveloped for childhood trauma that they did not know how to bring these things to the forefront with me. It has been such a relief to know the "it" that I was relieving when I drank for so many years. It would have been nice to know sooner but I am just glad I have more to work with now. What you said about therapy dysregulating you, I can identify with this as well. My experience was not helpful. I felt like a guinea pig and eventually relapsed after sober for 6 years from alcohol. I've been sober again for a few years, but I have learned to be careful about who I seek advice from. This was an incredibly helpful video! Thank you and I hope you are enjoying the holidays.
Thank you!!!!!! Hearing the term "brain disregulation" huge eye opener! Let the healing begin! EXERCISE! MEMORY BUCKET!!!! So helpful. Forgive caps; im so happy to have these tools!!
I am ( always) nice!!!. People take that as stupidity 😔🙃 I wish I could change that. I've been threw hell..... & Other's r rude, crude, & very unapologetic!!!!. Y, I ask...... I'm always, there for anyone who needs it...... ( But.) I'm changing allllll of that. I will always, always b kind. That's me. But. Hard core// NeVER....... GONNA HAPPEN.........🦋🙏
My Daily Practice: What hurts the most is the shunning. and how all involved have no remorse but with a sense of entitled rightteousness in secrecy half truths no legitimate answers to my questions. betrayal and not a thought about how it affected and effects me to this day. I am 60 now and have been traumatized since 2 yrs old "don't tell mommy" etc ..in my 20' - 30's flashbacks I began to realize the beginnings of it. sexual inappropriateness a bad diorce drugs both me and mother onto my HIV diagnosis 2 failed marriages hard things later Domestic viollence very severe "multiple strangulations , gaslighting , police involvement destruction of my home etc." entire "family' both sides.. used this tragedy against me and deemed me unfit to own my own house even though no mortgage to pay.. Giving my POWER up.. ( I had the the properties in my mothers name - for reasons HIV meds and 2nd not wanting my husband entitled to 1/2 it was my money fully not any portion of it his or my mother. )..b/c they didn't approve of my lifestyle in my late 40's they cut out me of the family after demonizing me with gossip. . I had purchased a bldg in Bklyn sold it and then a house in LI free and clear.. . even sold/stole my property I had bought myself behind my back. and even cut me off my inheritance from Grandmother - mother. and put a clause in the will I am not to buy property she gave my house over to LLC then to sister children in Trust funds set up from this sales. and my 2nd cousin 2x removed is in charge of her Trust given by my mother which I am beneficiary - meaning the little they didn't steal from me she has ownership of it and I have ask and give reason why I need something. and can cut me off at anytime for any reason b/c it's her money now. and the are just fine with that furthermore they do not communicate to me more than needed 'professionaly" not hello how are you nothing.. they do not deny but they do not acknowledge. *With "family" like mine .. Who needs enemies?* Psa 23:5 He preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: ... *and despite this, The Lord has provided for me and has never left me HIs Son has shown me the Father. Isa 46 :4 And even to your old age I am he; and even to hoar hairs will I carry you: I have made, and I will bear; even I will carry, and will deliver you. (thank you for allowing me to this space) I am learning much from your content.
Wow this was incredible. I’ve been “self medicating” my CPTSD for years and I’ve noticed that some times weed actually makes my anxiety so bad I’ll have anxiety attacks. I really feel so much better with a clear mind it’s just so hard for me to sit with my own thoughts!
We completely understand. You might want to check out Anna's free course 'The Daily Practice', it certainly helps me sort through all of my confusing thoughts! You can try it here: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice -Calista@TeamFairy
I have (and am) learned so much from you and a few others. I started this year by deciding that it's my year to work on my mental health. One thing I found helpful was learning what my body type is (through channels on youtube for free) and how to dress for it. When I looked better, I felt better and when I realized how to properly dress my body, I could buy less and still shop at value village. Anna Bey (Oh, I wonder if it's thing about "Anna's", you guys are helpful? lol) is one lady I've learned a lot from. My personal style is not elegant, but I have elevated my style and it has helped to make me feel better about myself. Have a wonderful day and thank you for sharing your insight. God bless you and your family and everyone here.
Playing this every day in my household until everyone listens to it and hears you. Day 1. This is my first day actually realizing things as they are for a fact with no denial. I need to do the work every single day.
This is a tough one, but a lot of times this type of healing requires us to re-examine our religious beliefs and how they might be affecting the way we show up in the world. Some traditions tend to emphasize a sense of sitting around and waiting for a rescue from a deity. I believe that spirituality can be a big part of healing, but I also think that coming into our own requires us to take a look at what we believe and decide very proactively what we want to take into the future with us.
It's makes me so so angry to watch ppl sit AROUND and wait to be rescued by some magical deity im spiritual but not religious TOO MANY RELIGIONS are don't question don't think LET ME THINK FOR YOU!!!! Tht belief set ppl up for ABUSE you should always be able to QUESTION AUTHORITY it's being sheep tht abusers look for obviously if your a child you can't get away or couldn't get away from abuse thts a different story but you must must actively fight against whoever or whtever is wanting to squelch who you are within reason
Thank you!! The memory bucket is a good way to look at that! I've only been doing self-help for a couple of weeks. But I've been thinking of all of this stuff my whole life! I'm thankful to really feel like I can put my traumas behind me and live life as a new person! Never would have thought I could feel like that!❤❤❤
Hi Anna. Something directed me to your video. I appreciate you and all that said in this video. You hit everything right on point, without beating around the bush or trying to be politically correct. Im 56 years old. Ive gone in and out of a number of excuses and treatments. One thing I didn't realize is that too much counseling Did keep me stuck. Although I didnt know during that time. I also realize that sometimes it just takes a persons kind and strong words or time (like you have given in this video) to wake a person up again and again. Sometimes you need to go thru the changes a few times, to get towards another level of happiness. With each time theres more experience and knowledge to apply to life's challenges. With that it gets better and better. I had to realuze the hard way that my traumas are not gonna be erased, nor the evils of them, but I can control the thoughts enough to live! Thank you so much... Im glad I found your channel!
There's no way I could ever. Thank you for how much you've impacted my life. II wanna give an advice. I've been on the carnivore diet and for the first time in my life. My anxiety is pretty much gone . As abusive as the last relationship was my faith in God and listening to you along with that diet has Changed me.. I don't know how to ever thank you
19:46 Victor Frankl, a psychiatrist and concentration camp inmate, told a story where a rumor went through the camp that the Allies would arrive at a certain time and liberate them. A surge of optimism went through the camp. Then the date came and went, and the Allies didn’t come, and a large number of the inmates wound up succumbing to their wounds and infections and deconditioning and simply died. Hope deferred makes the heart sick (Provebs 13:12)
2:22 I am so happy to have found you on youtube. I have not been diagnosed yet, with cPTSD, But am 100% sure I do. I have appts. With a counselor, and Psychiatrist scheduled. You have given me hope. I'm procrastinating this morning watching your video about, yep, procrastinating. Any resources you have available to share I would appreciate. When I can, soon I will write a lot of my story for you to share. Thank you Fairy for helping me discover that I'm not a monster, and that there is hope. I may learn how to enjoy the world others have for a few years.
Thanks for your comment & thanks for watching! Daily Practice can help with procrastination by giving you clarity about what’s most important to do today. You can try it here: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice. Anna offers many other courses that might also interest you so feel free to visit her website where you can find them: crappychildhoodfairy.com From there you can also send your letter to Anna. Nika@TeamFairy
Such fantastic information. I absolutely love this channel. It's like a friend is passing on absolute truthful and helpful information for dealing with CPTSD. Thanks for all you do 🙂
Almost every one of your videos has been a huge help for me l fit into almost every category .l have been reading self help books most of my life and now l feel so fortunate to have found you on u tube .I can’t ever have enough self help , l have come a long way from where l started ,but your videos have been an eye opener with issues l didn’t realize l even had ,they have been lurking in my life all along , but had no name and which l hadn’t realized have had such an impact on my self worth . 🙏 TY for your insightful programs 😊
Thank you so much for sharing your invaluable insight and experiences in how you healed your own trauma...writing has been key to my own recovery, as has becoming clean and sober. Everything you recommend resonates with me!
A huge thank you ! I have a PTSD after 6 years of abusive relationship with a narcissist. Now I'm with a wonderful person, but the trauma almost destroyed it, because I didn't have the right tools to deal with it and constantly hurt everyone around me and myself. I always thought that having this trauma only hurts myself, but after seeing the damage around me, I know it's very destructive for everyone, including my loved ones. So now I'm doing everything I can to recover, for myself, but also for my kid, my partner and my parents. And your channel is a great help. ❤
I never criticized people. There is good and bad in all walks of life. Even friends make fun of you. Putting you down. I have never put someone's body, face, teeth, weight, religion, ethnicity, economic status, decisions, english, speech, habits, appearance, interests, job, car, or style down. No one has that right. People "joke" too much and I am tired of it. Grow up. We are suppose to lift each other up and encourage one another. If you see someone going through a marital crisis, help them to stay committed unless they are in jeopardy. Use your voice to lead someone out of danger and protect their lives.
Thank you for sharing this advice with us. It is truly appreciated by many, I'm sure. Something I've been struggling with a lot myself lately is knowing weather or not it's okay / wise to tell people that I'm feeling triggered, as well as how I would do so without making myself look less than. I hold so much shame around feeling "broken" or incapable when I'm having a tough time with interactions-especially when it involves new people that don't know me very well yet. My instinct is try and pretend like everything is okay but then it causes a lot more struggle and emotional turmoil on the inside and has even caused me to completely shut down and be unable to communicate. I believe the reason that I struggle with it so much is that when Im feeling good, I'm really good. I'm balanced, I'm social I can even be a fairly good support system for others, but as soon as I experience something outside of my comfort zone, it becomes almost debilitating and I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm being selfish by announcing that I'm triggered in normal situations. Like I'm just making a scene and trying to make everything about myself instead of just working through uncomfortable situations like everyone else has to do If anyone has read this far and has some words of advice to offer in terms of whether or not it's a good Idea to share about your diagnosis / triggers and or what is a good way to do so without making yourself look weak or easy to take advantage of, It would be greatly appreciated 🙏🏻 thank you
😧 omg! It’s both a relief and a bit frustrating thinking the amount of time spent, poor decisions, crappy situations and everything “…ships” I’ve lived until now on nothing more than a very, VERY common pattern that sooo many people live in due to childhood conditioning. It’s also greatly empowering knowing that we have tools and we can decide to change things for the better for ourselves and! And! Of course! It helps a lot hearing someone normalizing things you thought was catastrophic for yourself, unique, that not many other people live. It somehow takes the grandeur of the problem and makes it smaller and manageable. Love to u, Anna! I’m a 38 single mom and I hope someday I’ll get to enjoy the kind of peace you have reached.
I came upon your videos and have been learning so much. I love listening to your messages and perspectives on past traumas. I've been focusing on working on myself and healing and thank you for your videos
I appreciate your videos, what you say hits home with me! Every relationship I was mentally and emotionally, etc, abused . It started with my mom! God revealed that to me 2 years ago, I have been on a healing journey for 2 years and I will be 55 in April. One thing that is difficult is knowing my life is half may more to being over!
Sister Anna. (You're like my big sister). You're just too good to be true! But you ARE true!Thank God. This is my feeble attempt at using poetry to appreciate you and to tell you what a huge difference you are making in my life. God bless you ❤❤❤❤
So grateful that I stumbled onto the most. Informative, helpful relatable therapist I have ever encountered in all my years of therapy. I have ADHD and Borderline , but I did not know anything about CPTSD and it rings more true with me than anything I have ever studied. Lucky me
Great encouragement. Thank you for making this video and driving home the point that anyone can heal. Anyone. Even a little. Just start. Too many believe they cannot, that they’re too damaged, or broken. Henry Ford famously said “If you think you can or if you think you can’t, you’re right.” Being the victim is so much easier. Then it becomes a habit, and even gets them attention. For many, as painful as it is to stay where they are, it seems safer than changing. It’s so easy to focus on one’s limitations rather than possibilities and remain stuck. One can either own their limitations and stay a victim or overcome them, and keep trying, little by little.
Thank you! We believe in encouragement too ... it's medicine. You're right, it's one little step at a time but they build on each other.
Julie@TeamFairy
You boomers love to victim shame, funny when it's you that causes these problems in people. You're hero Ford was an anti semite btw
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Beautifully said!!
I’ve TRIED OVER AND OVER.
Hi Anna, I was oblivious to the fact that I was the cause of my now 37 year old son’s CPTSD… and we now both watch your videos and our relationship is getting much better. Thank you for all you do! ♥️🙏🏻♥️
Wow, this is great. Thank you for healing and learning together.
Julie@TeamFairy
Thanks for holding yourself accountable.
Such a beautiful and courageous step for both of you (((hugs)))
Thank you for doing right by your son and taking accountability. I hope you both can heal and go far ❤
This is an incredible admission. You are both very brave❤
To speed up healing:
1. Learn about complex CPTSD- about dysregulation
2. Notice “ordinary” problems vs trauma related problems
3. Move trauma story from looping thoughts to memory
4. Stop isolating or trying to control other people’s behavior. Focus on healing. Notice being triggered, and learn to self regulate.
5. Stop trash talking people
6. End bad relationships
7. Leave bad work environments
8. Release the belief bad people are attracted to you
9. Recover from addictive behaviors, don’t escape life
10. Ask yourself and list of what you can do to heal
Thank you helps.
Thanks
Thank you very much for taking the time to list the bullet points! 🌻
Great comment, thank you for this
Thanks for summarising!
Im a clinical psychologist and had a breakdown about 6 months ago. It can happen to absolutely ANYONE! My skills and insights kept an especially difficult legal situation from getting out of hand emotionally ... then BANG. Essentially I had to be in bed for 3 months, and I just listened to this kind video over and n over to sooth myself. Be kind to yourselves people.
Sending you love and light. God bless. Nurse Kathy
I’m one too and when people said I had PTSD, I didn’t believe them or understand (!) now I realize I have CPTSD (not just depression, being spoiled or having anger issues). Struggling with my own kiddos has opened my eyes… I found myself behaving in ways that shocked me… My pain and difficulties led me to these videos. I honestly am overwhelmed at the healing that I need to do… but I’m preparing myself… thank you for this video! I’ve got a lot of work ahead…
Wishing you full recovery ❤️🩹
You're not alone. I have Phd in behavioral sciences and worked as en expert in the field of domestic abuse. Recently my mum's death triggered many memories off my abusive childhood and turned my life into an even more wrecked version of the survival mode it had been before that and had a crisis that involved reaching out to an organisation that gives crises help. Fortunately I was shortly after that diagnosed with CPTSD and found my way into this channel (and Heidi Priebe's, she is a dr. in psychology with CPTSD and her video's are a great addition to these).Wishing you all the best.
No one is immune, I imagine you would need extra support and specialists in your field to counsel you, also much braver to admit it when within the field.
Blessings on your rest, recovery and healing.
☮️🧘☮️
I dont think Ive ever felt more understood. This is the therapist I always needed. 🥺
I'm 65 yrs old. I've struggled in silence my entire life. Abused by a mother's angry rages. And I was that scapegoat child. Plus my older sister bullied me, having neighborhood kids, or cousins join in.
At the age of 47, a college professor told me he thought I have adhd. It made sense, so I just kept struggling. Every attempt I've made through the years to seek counseling was a total failure.
After the death of my dad in 2019, and breakup of a long time boyfriend, stress of my 2 adult children with addictions to heroin, loss of friends and family. I've isolated so much, I don't even leave my house anymore. I've done alot of UA-cam research for about research on mental health to find more answers. I'm glad I found you crappy childhood fairy. I know I have cpsd. Anyway struggling alone.
Please know you are not alone. 59 and so similar we need an online group to share our development and goals. The isolation is not helping our growth.
I'm sure having a safe gal-pal to share our struggles and to support our goals is a win-win!
You are not alone! There are many of us in similar situations like u, working with therapy and watching Anna's videos!😊
You are absolutely not alone, our whole community is here for you. Sending you lots of support :) -Calista@TeamFairy
I feel your pain and never leave my house, too afraid and too drained to even try any more, Anna has brought me some insight , however I still feel like I'm a lost cause. Too old to start over again, nor do I have desire to go thru another rejection or judgement.
Keep at it karenscott612. You are worth it.
1. Get up early in the morning an hour early
2. Write down anxious and defeated past
3. Meditation
4. Exercise hard, heart rate up for more than 20 minutes
5. Get into nature
6. Movement in the group
7. Eat protein
8. Make a list of most important things to do, three most important things, one most important thing
9. Don’t talk about the negative things (all the time)
10. What am I avoiding?
* Find something kind you can do for someone (without them knowing)
Thank you for this list!
1. Careful about the getting up one hour early bit. If you are sleep deprived, you're just going to ruin your health. Not only will it have an impact on your brain, but it will also have a detrimental effect on your cardiovascular health, your renal function, your liver function, any auto immune conditions (my ibs and my graves always flare up when I am sleep deprived for more than a couple of weeks in a row), any cancer cells that might have remained dormant until then...
4. Also, exercise which rates your heart rate won't be any good if you have a tendency to be high strung, jumpy etc. Much better to stretch and to get myofascial release and/or deep tissue massage. Beware also of the risk of injury (I did so much running in my 30s that I ended up with sciatica. I would walk/jog/run home from work, 20 kilometres, several evenings a week). About half of it was along a canal, with pastures and woods (owls, kingfishers etc.), so it was the best part of the day... but it was too much exercise, especially as I went to the gym as well (to get rid of the stress and because if I came home early after work or stayed home at the weekend, one of the landladies would come knocking on my door and ask nosy questions and criticise just about everything about my lifestyle, including... my underwear!)
7. Eating protein is a good tip, I'd favour oily fish.
Try cholinergic supplements and/or foodstuff.
9. I second not talking about the negative stuff too much. I've tried Lacanian psychoanalysis a bit (with a filthy pig) for a bit and have known people (all of them women, usually wealthy and unhappily married and/or divorced) who spent 10, 20 years having therapy (mostly Lacanian psychoanalysis) and they didn't get ANY better, far from it. They added various psychotropes, alcohol, smoking, comfort eating, sex toys, swingers' clubs, BDSM clubs, gigolos... but they remained stuck at the same stage.
I’m utterly exhausted just looking at that list.
What does “movement in the group” mean? What “group”?
@@yehmen29 Wow, I never got such a long comment on a comment. Thank you for sharing. I grew up with a mother that ingrained in me that sleep is holy. So I am this person that always sleeps at least 7 to 8 hours and 30 minutes. For me getting up an hour later results in me getting to bed an hour earlier the next day.
I never learned to do any sports other than biking 20km a day (to and from school) at the moment I only walk my dog 35 minutes per day. When I lived in Germany I walked and biked in general more.
I like fish, but I am a bit scared of micro plastic and stuff like this in cheap fish and the expensive fish is just: expensive.
I have never heard of Lacanian therapy. I in general never went to therapy, even if everyone told me I should go (because my mother died when I was 12 and growing up with the illness of my mother), I got to know some therapist, but I felt like they thought I am stupid, so I did not go there again.
Within the last some months I realized a lot. When I told of some things that I thought were normal growing up, to some of my friends, I was shaking. For me it was helpful to once tell them what I realized and found out. I don’t want to talk about the negative stuff all the time. I’m just so grateful that I found out that I am not stupid, just disregulated.
I've lived my adult life believing "this is just the way I am." Stumbling onto your site has opened my eyes to how my past has created chaos/clutter in my life. At 70 years old it's time to deal with this. Thank you.
You got this! We're all sending you encouragement :) -Calista@TeamFairy
May God help you and bless you! 🙏
This woman is amazing, so empathetic & compassionate! She tells it like it is!
Mine has been the being late for every job since I was 14. 62 now starting a new temp job next week. It's crucial that I don't ruin this one.
In your case, perhaps she does, but not in every case! You are fortunate that your issues are so easy to compartmentalise.
What is it about being late - I was the same but not only me but getting my children to school also.
I don’t have a problem with being late anymore.. other than my children are adults now.
Yes a great balance of compassion and practical advice!
Busted! My hair is currently not brushed in the back... 😂😂😂 Anna, you truly understand us and are so loving and non- judgemental while sharing hugely important insights. When I observe someone living their true purpose and using their unique gifts to help others, it is so inspiring. There are a handful of people I have encountered like you, who radiate with authenticity and the spirit of service. I ache to be a woman for others and show gratitude for my blessings in this way some day, too. Thank you for your help and for setting an example of what is possible for those of us who struggle with cptsd. ❤❤❤
Thank you for your kind words! I'll make sure Anna reads this :)
-Calista@TeamFairy
I’m so damaged I will not let any man try even try to talk to me I only fix my self up a little for drs Appt s I don’t want anyone taking a second look at me I’m still running from my abusive Ex boyfriend 😢
I understand beenthere a while now. It's ok, you've been doing what you needed to do to try tojust survive and heal from the things suffered a little. Getting involved with another person when we have not healed from the last heartache would not be fair tothem or ourselves anyway. People jump to new relationships, they often will get into some drug or be drinking alot & go wild partying and when young that's what I usually did when going through a heartbreak, or trying to recover from an abusive person's attacks.....but from 1 to the other I never healed inside from anything, I just shoved it down deeper, tok more substances and kept on keeping on. We can only do that for so long. At the time it can be like a survival tactic, it distracts from our feelings, lets us act like we're ok. But eventually .when your life is at a better place, when you're strong enoufh, then you'll find you will start wanting answers, healing, you want to not fall into a bad one again so you'll start processing your pain, accepting it and forgiving where possible, meaning even yourself you will forgive when you start having compassion for YOU. Love yourself, you've come through alot and you can do anything. You can win in this too,dear. SAy out loud every day "I'm great, I'm worthy, I am not perfect but I AM wonderful and I CHOOSE HEALING AND LIFE!!"@@FaithDixon-cr1lg
Too funny. I must admit I made sure I checked the back of my hair B4 going to church last night lol
I was traumatized in my childhood by an abusive father, physically and emotionally. I was stuck in anger for years. At the beginning, the anger helped me to react and win the battle against him. But, as I was stuck in it, it became a poison in my heart, and I couldn't find a way out. When semeone told me one day I had to forgive, I was devastated, because I thought that to forgive is to say the trauma is OK. My father died, I couldn't confront him anymore. I didn't understand that my anger didn't accomplish any justice, but was just a poison attacking my own heart. It took me ages to agree with stopping accusing. One day, I understood what is to forgive (and what it is not) and I did. I prayed to forgive my father, because I didn't want him to win. Since I forgave, my life changed, I was supprised to see a change in my relationship to people, without this wall of anger in my heart.
"Does it make you a doormat?" really hits home.
Hey guys, too rushed to express fully, how much this is blessing me, and how much I pray for all of us!
I have read lots of comments about people who feel like they are hopeless, too far gone, etc. and I am struggling with the same. God helped me remember all the reals I have come across of people getting old, discarded furniture off the side of the road, and transforming it into beautiful and lovely pieces. We, too, can be transformed!!!
Love and big hugs to all!!!❤️🤗
This video has many tips not only for trauma, but to get a better life…
Thank you❤ I was so numb for so long, and I hid my emotions, or when I was triggered. Feeling dead inside felt easier, but empty...life has given me one obstacle or avalanche after another during this last year. It's been too much and once the emotions started to surface the wheels fell off. My memory has suffered, I can't concentrate, my brain feels broken and my executive functioning is a day to day struggle. I know that I'm capable of so much...and it takes time, but I feel ready to be loved and move forward. ❤
We understand as few others can. We're all rooting for you!
-Calista@TeamFairy
Love x
If you don't please add a D3 1000 mg. and one Omega 3 (1000 mg) to your daily vitamins, (the kind that are caps with kind of gel in them are better to take, easier to digest on your stomach so they're more easily absorbed).
If you don't take a daily womens multivitamin, add that also. You'd be surprised how deficient most Americans are in d3 and omega 3. In one study, omega 3 helped people more with depression/anxiety than a prescribed antidepressant did..
For D3 we need sunlight in order for our body to be able to make the D3 we need, and in the last 2 decades we all have been getting out in the sunlight so much less due to cellphones/laptops/internet use. Without sunlight we can not make D3 and achiness, fatigue, depression result without enough of it.
Once I added these thingsI came out of a bad mental fog and strted being able to feel motivated to make some progress, I had been utterly lacking in my ability to just think well. So if you don't take those try it a few weeks and just see if it helps.
@@KathyHussey063 always remember to add K2 in with D3 as they work together to hugely benefit us while the K2 balances D3's effects on our use of Calcium
@@KathyHussey063 Excellent idea!
This is so good. I'm taking notes. I just finished the first 44 minutes and taking a break. There's much to absorb. This is incredibly helpful. Best counseling session I've ever had. So grateful Anna. Thank you❤
God bless you powerfully.
I’m taking notes too❤️ So much to learn.
I use to smoke Marijuana alot, it did give me energy, etc. But
I can honestly now say, it was me avoiding my loneliness.
It also stopped my dreams at night, and I'd stop my prayers or chanting. So I stopped. I'm starting to dream again, which is to me very is spiritual necessity. Spirit world sends messages through dreams. I'm also much happier if I pray and chant at night, in my silence
Before bed. So I'm glad you are telling people, do not self medicate. It's stops the healing process to a halt.
Thank you so much, you are an amazing women and helping so many people including me.....
Bless your heart ten fold.
❤❤❤
I didn’t realize I had to take steps to heal until I joined adult children of alcoholics & I have so much hope for myself now. I always just thought time would heal things which proved to be untrue every year, but I guess I just kept waiting
I’m 45, divorced, single mom. I neglected to build a career when I was younger. I was too scared to learn new things, too scared to apply to different jobs, didn’t know what I wanted to do, had zero confidence in myself, and ended up marrying and having kids. Over 15 years later we’re divorced, and I’m stuck in low-level jobs unable to support myself independently of my ex-husband or my mom, who helps out a little when she can (but she’s retired and on a tight budget too). I’m in a 2 bdrm apartment and sleeping on the couch so my kids can have bedrooms. This apt is expensive for what it is. It’s not fancy AT ALL, but it’s almost $2000/month. I DREAM of having a place of my own, to build equity, feel secure. That’s a long way off still, but I’m trying to take steps in the direction of that. I’m taking an online course to learn some new skills in the hope of getting a better paying job. This uncertainty is draining and scary, but I must have some strength because I ended a relationship that could have given me financial stability….it just wasn’t working. I’m ready to make it on my own. Come on Universe!
Why can't the kids share a bedroom so that you can have a room. It's not good for you to be sleeping on a couch
You got this! We're all sending you encouragement :) -Calista@TeamFairy
@@regularity2556 They’re a 15 year old boy and a 12 year old girl. They need their own space, and I want to give them the best experience possible. They used to share a room when they were younger.
@@thanksagainforthetea I’ve had this exact idea. Thing is, I want to keep my kids in their school district for continuity and friendships, and the city we live in is fairly expensive. The housing market skews toward middle to upper class incomes. Even buying land is the same price small houses were back in the ‘00s. I could’ve stayed in a relationship that wasn’t working in order to have financial security, but I’m grateful for the strength to leave it for the possibility of a better life someday.
@@CarrieMHB222 You're doing good lady. Your kids are safe and cared for. You realise your issues. It's bumpy but the only way is up.
“Is your hair brushed in the back?” 🤣🤣 hilariously accurate! Thanks again, Anna.
You're so welcome :) -Calista@TeamFairy
Wow! I have really nice hair people say, but I don’t care if I walk outside with it not brushed and I forget to brush it in the back. And sometimes realize I didn’t brush it when I leave so try to work my hands. And then put the hairs out the window when driving.
Im currently in school for Psychology because of individuals such as yourself. You have helped me a lot, and inspire me to stay in school. I hope to be as awesome as yourself and help others who want to help themselves and help others. Thank you
Wow, that's amazing! Thank you so much for sharing, I'll make sure Anna reads this :) -Calista@TeamFairy
4 years ago, I realized that I suffer from CPTSD. Once I realized this, I took steps to rid my life of toxic relationships. I only found your videos yesterday when trying to figure out how to reconnect with people in a healthy way. After listening to a couple of your videos, I was finally able to put a name to a feeling I've gotten all my life when I'm in the presence of certain people or situations. It's a rush of adrenaline through my heart. For literally 40+ years, I thought the feeling meant that I was excited or needed to act on something. But after hearing you talk about recognizing triggers, I realized that every time I've had this feeling, it's because I was being triggered. The feeling only ever comes when I'm around a toxic person or in a situation i had no business being in. Up until 4 years ago, I didn't know toxic people existed. I didn't know that I was toxic. I didn't recognize my own destructive behavior. I just thought I was living life my way. I'm so happy to understand what this feeling is now. Now, when I feel it, I'll know and trust that I'm experiencing a trigger and make better decisions on how to act. I just recently took a step back from a budding friendship when I realized that I was being emotionally manipulated. I'd get that rush feeling around this person. Now I know I need to keep her at a distance. I don't really know what a healthy friendship is. At 50 years old... at least I know now what a healthy friendship is not. I'm off to take in several hours of your videos now. I think they'll help me to have tools to move through this world more successfully. Thank you so much. Btw, I get that triggered rush feeling when I check responses to my comments, so I don't do this anymore either. If you respond to this comment, I won't see it, but hopefully the comment and any responses might help others. Thanks again.
Anna, you are SO good and this is SO helpful! At age 52, my priority is finally getting HEALTHY!
Ma'am. Excuse me. The whole world needs a army of your teachings
I highly suggest EMDR therapy for people with CPTSD. Get the book by Pete Walker called CPTSD From Surviving to Thriving. Also the book called The Body Keeps the Score. This channel is awesome too. I have been in EMDR therapy for over 2 years for CPTSD. It works for me and it might work for you. The books I recommended are what my psychologist recommended to me and they are fantastic. Thanks Crappy Childhood Fairy. You are incredibly insighful and are a great part of healing but this is a lifetime mental illness that doesn’t go away but it does get much better.
We love those books too! Pete's is more accessible, while Bessel's is more scholarly & footnoted. Thanks for your comment. Julie@TeamFairy
Your last sentence is what I think can drain my power. The more I see/discover the way & the depth of damage done by my abusive relationships and then by my “biblical counselors” the more it seems the wound stays open. I paid to be abused?? Talk about trust issues. I still have such trust issues with people charging for a service- especially if my sickness gives them a return customer $$$. It’s a ride to be on the path of recovery. You realize …oh, that’s why I do that!! They were gaslighting me my entire life! lol sorry to be so negative! I find that having spaces like this of expressing authentic emotions of pain/loss is helpful bc it means I’m not the crazy one calling a lie a lie or abuse, abuse. I think I should try EMDR again. I’m so glad it’s helping you. Grateful for Anna and her bold truth-telling. “Crap-fit” is a fave term of hers. ❤🌱🕊️
@@Deelitee I think we are more normal than most realize. I still have trust issues but the flashbacks and negative self talk have become less and less. EMDR rewires your brain to put all of the emotional distress surrounding flashbacks and yes, crazy bible thumping idiot talk into a neater package (for lack of a better word). It never really goes away but it is less distressing than it used to be. Some of my memories were distressing to an 8-9 on a scale of 1-10 and now they are a 3-4. I have had to work hard to change my thought processes but I’m getting there. I still have issues surrounding my childhood and adulthood traumatic events and learned behaviors but it is a journey not a destination if you know what I mean. I get that it’s hard to pay for help (that may not be what you expect) but you pay for other things that are good and bad for you I bet. And you probably don’t bat an eye at those purchases. 😉😊 You only get drained by what you allow. If a therapist isn’t a good fit, fire them and search for one that is. I know that is hard for some depending on their location. It doesn’t matter what letters are behind their name as long as you can “try to build trust” with them and they know what they are doing. Good luck in your journey! ❤️
Tried EMDR once, didn't work for me. I don't remember details (they ask you go to any time in your life and then ask what you see) because my brain is great at not remembering specific details/blocking. I also went to the therapist for a while during covid shut downs and I only felt re traumatized.
I'm loving this channel because and learning independently.
I just started emdr therapy and I’m about 5 sessions or so in and it’s been life changing!
Thank you! This may be the most important video I've ever seen. It's like the Fairy pulled out the deep, damaged parts of my psyche, lovingly and clearly described them, and outlined healthy tools for their soothing and healing. Just, wow!
29 & just learning about this within myself. Was misdiagnosed as bipolar at 16 so your videos have been helpful!
That’s exactly how I feel. I started thinking perhaps I’m misdiagnosed with bipolar.
I was misdiagnosed as bipolar 18 years ago and am just learning nope...it's likely cptsd.
Hi!! I just wanted to thank you for your professionalism, your calm way of teaching, and your realness! You are a great teacher!!!!!
Thanks so much 😊
I just want to express how eye opening and transformative these videos are for me. Thank you!
I'm so happy to hear that! Thank you for taking the time to comment :)
-Calista@TeamFairy
Crappy childhood fairy you are my therapist. I've already tried face-to-face therapy and it doesn't work for me. However your videos have really helped me tremendously. Thanks for all you do.
Glad to hear Anna's videos are helpful for you! We're here to support you!
Nika@TeamFairy
I have been watching you for quite a while and have benefited from your wisdom, I struggled with my husband's narcissism for 20 years, but in the past year after moving to Panama, I really focused on my healing and helping him to understand his adoption trauma. He would get better, but it only lasted a few days. Finally, he agreed that he suffers from depression, as I do. however. I have been taking meds for years. He finally agreed to take the same thing I take and he is a changed man. I honestly was on my last nerve because of his emotional abuse and had asked him to leave, but we can't afford to live apart. I realize this isn't a typical outcome, but it's working for us. We now have a very good relationship. He even did much better on a job interview and he's expecting a call back next week. Thankfully the antidepressants we take don't require a prescription in Panama. Moving here a year ago was the single best thing we have ever done together and the meds are now making it even better. The pace is so much slower and the weather is perfect. Thank you for your continued help.
What medication helped you]? Antidepressant didn't work for me
wow I wonder how .many of us are on antidepressants? I Have a theory that people like us with crappy childhoods are depleted of serotonin much earlier than most, due to the stress of dealing with triggers. I have no mental energy at all without them, I'm a zombie. So, why did you choose Panama? I dream of relocating.
@@taghazoutmoon5031You can go for St Johns’ Worth oil, a simple oil infusion otc. Warning, if you are on birth control pills, the 2 donot mix.
What resonatef with me most is the self-sabotaginge i have been doing regards to being stuck in a rutt for lack of self confidence and and, willpower and motivation
I have started putting boundaries, started the daily practice and meditate, doing a full time job which is nice in general, stopped people pleasing a lot, less critisizing people, supporting financially my parents which I have done it a lot of times (even if they were abusive and neglectfull to me because I honor them and still love them, my father was an alcoholic abusive and neglectful person and my mother was the opposite very caring and full of love but toxic too in a lot of ways),left an abusive relationship, started saving money which I had to do it for a long time, stopped overspending, started noticing red flags in people and potential partners and not even getting involved with them started taking care of myself as much as I can and all these things arent enough. I am so disregulated that I cant feel fullfillment from all these things. I know that I am a strong person otherwise I wouldnt do all these things, but sometimes I feel hopeless and helpless. I am now saving money to join your membership or your courses probably in winter. I cant thank you enough for your help, your courage and your passion to help other people. I feel that you are like a friend-and proper mother figure I never had. Its so relieving to think that we are not alone in our path even if they are different in a lot of ways even if our experiences are also a lot different and what a relieve to connect with people who are wounded but still unique, good hearted and admirable. I feel that I need to say this at everyone struggling with trauma. You are not alone, you are strong, you are capable of great things, life is long take as much time as you need for your healing except if its something dangerous, stand up again when you fall. You deserve everything good in this life, you are born to receive love and give love. Stay strong put your armour and fight.❤❤❤❤
I send your words right back at you dear ! Write them up and put it on your fridge, say them outloud every day. WE CAN CHOOSE a different future, a different today by choosing to love ourselves correctly, nurture ourselvess and be a good example to other women on how to be good to our own selves instead of just trying to mae everyone else happy all the time. WE an be our own cheerleader and biggest fan and find a wealth of comfort in that self cmpassion and acceptance of US. You deserve your own support dear, so give it to yourself and thank you for sending out your good message tous.
I have lived a lot of your talks. I can only pray for the people that have taken advantage of me. God will set me free. I will go work my bucket list. Later.
The higher is the one that can always go to in prayer, by the way I truly believe that I was able to come across your videos. Thank you Anna and obviously that the Lord for these healing pathways. I've been able to make sense out of my issues. Thank you so much for your energy. I wish you much success for using it for tge good of people in these circumstances which you speak of.
I understand myself after finding you. Thanks for your work!
Welcome!
Oh, my gosh! I just have to share this. I've watched about 80% of your stuff over about 3 years on top of decades of fortunate recovery work, and now I am good to go. The finishing touch is self talk. Present positive confessions. Highly effective. But we have to believe what we are saying, and that is where a loving spiritual presence comes in. Someone gave me a book about it.
Thank you! I feel like my emotional intelligence and coping mechanisms improved after watching your videos often. May good fortune and abundance come to you!
I’ve never found anyone I felt safe enough with, or not judged by, to open up about my traumas…i learned a long time ago to put on an act and idk how to stop 🕊️
Atm, group therapy is the worst place because I compare myself, then degrade myself, if others have it worse and I need to just “suck it up” as my mother always tells me
I hear you.
Keep watching as much CCF as you can... marinate yourself in whatever video piques your interest. You will "see" things as you've never seen them before! Once you see something, you cannot unsee it... you will become aware. Then you'll find more CCF direction which will provide tools for your change from old subconscious triggers and patterns of response growing into new conscious reactions and responses.
As you figure your unconscious self out, you will surprise yourself with the release, the lightness, you'll feel. and one day you will hear yourself laugh out loud in joy...
I hear you. However in the pain of that know there IS HEALING. I would say if therapy is not for you find a different therapist
I am in an ananon program. Have b en for three. Years. By working the 12 steps, I have earned victory from victimization and a tool box to use in times of trouble. I must say though the primary strength producing relationship is my life is with my HP whom I choose to call GOD.
I left from a job because they were forcing us to wear smart shoes as a waitress and my legs were hurting and bleeding badly and when I told them they told me you are gonna be used to that. I didnt even stay for a month!!! 😂. Taking care of yourself is sometimes hard but totally worth it.
Wow! Those shoes don't sound very smart if they were hurting your feet and legs! I hope you can find a job where you are allowed to wear shoes that work for you!
Julie@TeamFairy
Im only into the 2nd video of yours and it confirmed to me that the mental health diagnosis I have been given and have always thought were wrong are wrong!!! So much of what you were saying are the exact sympt
oms I have given several doctors/ psychiatrist and have been given depression medication most of my adult life which I definitely did not need I'm 52 years old I truly wish when I was 18 we had internet and your videos. My life would have probably been more on the happy spectrum! I have four children who all need to watch your videos also because I can see I have caused all of them see PTSD
Anna we love you. You saved me many times and cannot thank you enough. I share your channel with anyone I can. Keep doing this please. It is making a difference.
That's so wonderful to hear, thank you for taking the time to comment :) -Calista@TeamFairy
Oh man. Last year I went septic from a giant kidney stone & needed surgery and a hospital stay. Just found you this morning and feel like that's happening to my soul and emotions🤧🤒🤕 It's good, the soul infection needs to go! But it doesn't feel great. But it feels good, because finally doing something! Thank you! Did my first daily thing this morning. Once I got thru it, I did feel better. It's like I'm under a giant pile of pebbles. Gotta remove one or two at a time, then will be properly better!
Great analogy about the pebbles. Congratulations on your first Daily Practice! Julie@TeamFairy
Ouch! I used to have kidney stones (oxalates of calcium - I love cheese) and although I have never needed surgery for them, I still distinctly remember how painful they were. Less than a paroxystic episode of sciatica but close. I haven't had any stones for a dozen years now, I am still eating a lot of cheese, what seems to have helped is that I started to test my vitamin d levels (or rather, my gp started testing them), we found out I was severely deficient, so I started supplementing, and not only has it made a massive difference to my flares up of auto immune diseases and seems to have helped to keep my cancer cells dormant so far (fingers crossed) but the renal colics are gone! I think the vitamin d may help calcium to be absorbed by the bones, when it would otherwise end up in the circulation, and then would be filtered by the kidneys, and result in stones. At the time of that first vitamin d, I had hypercalcaemia too, which was frightening (it can be a sign of bones mets) but mri scans didn't show any bone mets, and once I got my vitamin d in the 'green' range (the range my doctors recommend is higher than what the lab recommends, it is similar to the range recommended in teh PhD diet) the calcium dropped back to normal figures.
I loved the image of the pebbles although I will adapt it and visualise brambles, mould...
This has been a favorite segment. I like how you list habits I feel a strong connection with the instincts of balance and you really do have a beautiful heart very helpful when it comes to things like addiction and self talk.
Hi, Anna. I have just recently found your channel and am finding these videos so helpful. I went through counseling due to a dx of Bipolar Disorder II and learning to accept that I had a Very Crappy Childhood. I have healed already in so many ways, but this particular one really hit home. 35 minutes in I had to take a breather. I recognized how much work I still had to do, but you're helping to lead the way. I appreciate all the time and effort you put into this work. Thank you SO much!
You got this! We're all sending you encouragement :) -Calista@TeamFairy
you add a lot of value with this channel, so thank you. Just wanted to add that the reason “self medicated” is a widely used term now is because it is less stigmatising than “drug addict” or “alcoholic”. The stigma of using substances to cope with trauma just adds so much more shame to the equation and makes it even harder to seek help and when you seek help sometimes the help can see you through the lens of being a dirty drug addict and make things worse. I don’t think people are using the term to make light of their coping behaviours it’s to have less stigmatised terms
I must say I'm so grateful I am for your side passion project everyday. Since around April 26th when you're CCF channel popped up in my UA-cam premium feed for the first time. I was half assed listening to another channel while doing other things because I was physically busy I didn't pick a different channel when your first CCF video started next. You mentioned limerence. I felt immediately and sadly connected deeply to that word. I love reading and writing, correct spelling, good punctuation and knowing definitions. I had never even seen, let alone heard that word, but I immediately googled the definition of limerence. I had a heart wrenching but equally freeing life changing break through. I had messed up all my serious long term relationships that I had previously been in since I met him at 17 yrs old....for 20 yrs by that point.... by not being aware I had been in limerence with my (I thought was my life's deepest love and my best friend). I had been dissociating his shown red flags and telling me he loved me, just not in that way😢 I had a full body panic attack, rapid cycled through at least 3-4 different painful emotions for over 4 hours after first googling that words definition in the 1st video of yours I seen. It ( my C-PTSD, bipolar 1 brain, had been trapped in a 20 yr "one sided, delusional relationship" which meant it knew how to make him my limerent obsession, absolutely unconsciously aware of even the word limerence without me even knowing ?!?) Ugh. I was immediately rapid cycling through uncontrollable, tearful sobs and a river of tears... days later with rage, deep grief and embarassment😢 I had dragged him with me through my life, including all my long-term relationships with other men and a lifetime of friends and acquaintances (since the age of meeting him @ 17, I'm 38 now..🥺😭💔😩🤬😞🥴) showing him off like a shiny gold perfect trophy that was never even mine to show off !!!! I immediately realized that made me like a walking, magical thinking joke to them most of my life !!!!! So everyone else knew... including all my childhood friends, my mom, him and my only half sister... the whole time = 2 decades... EXCEPT ME.😩😞🥺😭🤬😭🤬😭🤬😩 BUT I AM AWARE NOW AND AS PAINFUL AS THAT'S BEEN ( went no contact with him and my only living relative (besides my 2 teens) my sister that day). He'll never be allowed back in my life (which still feels like to me, I lost my "best friend", I told him everything !!!!! Stuff I wouldn't tell anyone else but him, not even my own sis... because I thought he was who I could trust the most) and they both never told me the truth... even though they also both knew the sadness over it, especially after 20 yrs... was making me further drink myself slowly to death everyday, all day for many years by that point .. about over 6-7 yrs ago my sis just txt me " it's never gunna happen"..😭 THANK U FOR BEING HONEST U DROP THAT OBVIOUS TO ALL, BUT ME INFORMATION OFF TO ME FINALLY !?!?😭🥺😢 Since that day the veil was lifted completely from my mind's eye, I couldn't put my blinders up to block out the painful truths anymore. Since the point of meeting him.... he HAD told me at least 3 times, in different ways.... that he would never want me, like I did him😢... I had seen/heard several red flags about him I realized now I did immediately notice but blocked out without realising i could even do that or that LIMERENCE was even a word😢
Thanks though FAIRY !!!! SO glad I'm in on the joke now too and can't blick it out. Still flashing through the emotions of anger, grief and embarrassment daily. But now.. I'M AWARE & CAN'T BLOCK IT OUT. So finally decades later, now I'm getting the proper mental health help (talk therapy for many yrs to follow) I'll learn to process, accept, FINALLY let go of (= heal) these lifetime childhood trauma symptoms and that damn never ending looping negative mindset... Then I could actually find a man, who loves me too and settle down forever. That would have never been possible for me at all without your "side passion project" CCF, UA-cam channel making me aware of limerence 💯 I'm still deeply hurting, all alone, but also equally grateful for you and this CCF channel... I now get to accept it all too. Once healed, my real dreams can actually come true now... thank YOU & CCF so much !!!!!!❤ I'm so grateful for you and I love this channel and it's community for life now😊🙏 God bless you. Amen❤
Incredibly well expressed! I too have had a limerence situation, which is now totally exposed to me thru Anna's CCF.
Thank you, Anna!
I truly understand the myriad emotions you've gone through... I have only recently become aware of limerence at the end of a very intense 5-year relationship with a person I felt was a true soulmate.
"Once you see it, you can never unsee it!"
Healing the limerence situation externally was instant... internally, not so fast.
It's a well-established unconscious pattern established in my crappy childhood.
I am now consistently redirecting the subconscious impulses of that old negative limerence pattern, taking advantage of brain neuroplasticity to actually physically rewire a new pattern of conscious response in my brain, with a "Stop, Annie! Now, choose a conscious, more aware, reaction to this unconscious limerence trigger!"
I now know how to program myself into a much healthier choice of reaction. Habit creation! Thank you to Dr Caroline Leaf 🍃
Just found this video and I’m very upset right now but you said so much that rings true for me I’m living in my car my entire family excommunicated me a year ago and all these repressed memories have come back and I’m in the lowest place I’ve been in my life. Thank you for being so smart and putting this out for people like me .
Oh, bless you. Here's wishing you continued healing and the recovery of the life you deserve.
You're really great. Thanks so much for the wisdom and real talk.
I love this video. I have just been learning about nervous system regulation after many years of self help books and mental health diagnosis and medications. It's not great fun looking at yourself and taking ownership that I may be the problem, and the solution. I love the comments...maybe we're not crazy but just human beings living in extremely confusing times. Everyone be kind to yourselves, and each other.
Bless you - BLESS you! - for making these videos available to the general public. You are quite literally saving lives.🙏🏼
Not a fairy, but an Angel. 🌹
I started watching your videos about a year ago. I had no idea what I experienced as a child was trauma. Now I have effective, healthy coping skills to move forward and break the cycle of trauma so my children have a different experience. Thank you so much!!!
That's amazing! Thank you so much for sharing, I'm sure Anna will appreciate this :) -Calista@TeamFairy
Anna, You are so gifted in articulating this vast kit 'n kaboodle; and are a stellar exemplar of walking the recovery walk. Thank you so much.
I am changing thanks to you and many other coaches who have helped me in my journey of healing.
Dearest Anna, thank you so so so so much for putting out this incredibly valuable and nowhere-else-to-be-found content! Even just listening to you helps me heal and put things into perspective. I feel so much love and gratitude for you🙏☀️🌸🥰❣️❣️❣️
so good. I feel better after just a week of listening to her. So grateful.😢
Probably one of Anna’s best videos.
Thank you I just watched tow of your other videos and so much going wrong in my life makes more sense now. You are amazing.
My life was like a video game where I couldnt get past a level. Yesterday, while experiencing pain I didnt react like I used to... I didnt just give up. Inside I was inspired to play past that level. I went to sleep with You Tube autoplaying and in the middle of your video, in my sleep I started to hear answers... like the you tube videos called "walkthroughs" where others have played the game and tell you how to get to the next level... You gave a series of pathways and it woke me up. I have never heard so many pathways to health in one place at one time.
Just simply amazing. I can only imagine the amount of pain you have lived through and witnessed to have so much clear understanding of what people who are stuck go through. I am proud of you because helping others through honesty is a profound way to show yourself you love yourself.
I love to learn and am always collecting life lessons and understandings. Even while going through the worst I am seeing the value in the lesson of the experience. Solving problems is my super-power, my weakness is I will move mountains to help others but wont lift a finger to help myself.. and I dont know why.
But now I have pathways. The words "thank you" are not enough. I cant afford your courses right now, I am barely surviving, but whenI get the money I am (now I'm crying) I am going to pay for your courses just to give you the money because you helped me like nobody else could or would.
YES!
My feelings about CCF too, but so well said.
It's like the harsh emotions you learn as a child are actually hard-wired into your body for the rest of your life when you are triggered. Your coping skill techniques are so helpful, not so much for me, because it is too late, but for younger people with a full life ahead of them. It is essential that they put in the effort to get training/education on these coping skills. Kudos.
You are such a blessing! Thank you for these!! Thanks for being honest w your own issues. It helps that you can admit your own struggles and also find ways to grow beyond them.
New subscriber, needed this Fairy for a long time. Glad The Discovery has been made.
Thank you to my wife.❤
Sometimes us wives have good ideas 🤔😉
Anna your voice feels safe like an aunt I never had thank you for your videos I’m slowly ACTING in my best interest not just listening and wishing for a different life. I just got prescribed Wellbutrin and it’s helped so much already (ask your doctors about this antidepressant)I’m able to think more clearly and not waste away in self isolation and depression ..❤ 34 and just getting autonomy and learning WHO I am!
I grew up with a pair of violent sexual predators. One was a narcissistic psychopath. The other was a raging alcoholic. Every adult in my life was mentally disturbed & children of parents who grew up in the Great Depression. I can remember my grandfather walking behind a horse, plowing the garden. Any word spoken wrong could elicit a backhand or sarcasm that sliced the soul. Women & children were chattel. I read a lot about Nazis as a kid, dreamt of them because I felt I was in a concentration camp.
I turn 70 next year and I
am just beginning to realize what I lost over the years because of my fears. I
These types of family situations are awful. If you're interested, try Daily Practice. It is a great way to process fears and resentment. You can find the free course here: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice
Nika@TeamFairy
The work continues. …started a new job for which I am overqualified. I figured I have to rejoin the workforce somewhere. And I have just 12 years more to work. Well, who knew REtramatization could happen! So many triggers have me experiencing CPTSD again. Was describing some of the things I’ve experienced and how these made me feel. Wow-took me back over 30 years! These videos are helping me get back on track. Thank you for what you do!
We're all rooting for you! -Calista@TeamFairy
I hope all works out for you. I’m in the same position. Working an entry level job when I’m in my 50’s. I’m glad to see someone that looks like me in this YT sector. Praying for All! 🙏🏽
You are such a sweet soul with wonderful advice. I did not even know how to identify dysregulation until a year ago. I am 43 years old. I was diagnosed with ptsd in 2014 and even then, the therapy was so underdeveloped for childhood trauma that they did not know how to bring these things to the forefront with me. It has been such a relief to know the "it" that I was relieving when I drank for so many years. It would have been nice to know sooner but I am just glad I have more to work with now. What you said about therapy dysregulating you, I can identify with this as well. My experience was not helpful. I felt like a guinea pig and eventually relapsed after sober for 6 years from alcohol. I've been sober again for a few years, but I have learned to be careful about who I seek advice from. This was an incredibly helpful video! Thank you and I hope you are enjoying the holidays.
I am a therapist and love your content.
Thank you!!!!!! Hearing the term "brain disregulation" huge eye opener! Let the healing begin! EXERCISE! MEMORY BUCKET!!!! So helpful. Forgive caps; im so happy to have these tools!!
You got this! We're all rooting for you :) -Calista@TeamFairy
I am ( always) nice!!!. People take that as stupidity 😔🙃 I wish I could change that. I've been threw hell..... & Other's r rude, crude, & very unapologetic!!!!. Y, I ask...... I'm always, there for anyone who needs it...... ( But.) I'm changing allllll of that. I will always, always b kind. That's me. But. Hard core// NeVER....... GONNA HAPPEN.........🦋🙏
Love the "release them" rubber band analogy.
Keeping the new vision of my changed self is tantamount to success. I love that word. Look it up, folks! Grow. You can do it!
Me too!
I love your content so much. Thank you for doing this work!
I've listened to this video several times. Hits too close to home every single time.
But I'm listening...
My Daily Practice: What hurts the most is the shunning. and how all involved have no remorse but with a sense of entitled rightteousness in secrecy half truths no legitimate answers to my questions. betrayal and not a thought about how it affected and effects me to this day.
I am 60 now and have been traumatized since 2 yrs old "don't tell mommy" etc ..in my 20' - 30's flashbacks I began to realize the beginnings of it. sexual inappropriateness a bad diorce drugs both me and mother onto my HIV diagnosis 2 failed marriages hard things later Domestic viollence very severe "multiple strangulations , gaslighting , police involvement destruction of my home etc." entire "family' both sides.. used this tragedy against me and deemed me unfit to own my own house even though no mortgage to pay.. Giving my POWER up.. ( I had the the properties in my mothers name - for reasons HIV meds and 2nd not wanting my husband entitled to 1/2 it was my money fully not any portion of it his or my mother. )..b/c they didn't approve of my lifestyle in my late 40's they cut out me of the family after demonizing me with gossip. . I had purchased a bldg in Bklyn sold it and then a house in LI free and clear.. . even sold/stole my property I had bought myself behind my back. and even cut me off my inheritance from Grandmother - mother. and put a clause in the will I am not to buy property she gave my house over to LLC then to sister children in Trust funds set up from this sales. and my 2nd cousin 2x removed is in charge of her Trust given by my mother which I am beneficiary - meaning the little they didn't steal from me she has ownership of it and I have ask and give reason why I need something. and can cut me off at anytime for any reason b/c it's her money now. and the are just fine with that furthermore they do not communicate to me more than needed 'professionaly" not hello how are you nothing.. they do not deny but they do not acknowledge. *With "family" like mine .. Who needs enemies?* Psa 23:5 He preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: ... *and despite this, The Lord has provided for me and has never left me HIs Son has shown me the Father. Isa 46 :4 And even to your old age I am he; and even to hoar hairs will I carry you: I have made, and I will bear; even I will carry, and will deliver you. (thank you for allowing me to this space) I am learning much from your content.
Wow this was incredible. I’ve been “self medicating” my CPTSD for years and I’ve noticed that some times weed actually makes my anxiety so bad I’ll have anxiety attacks. I really feel so much better with a clear mind it’s just so hard for me to sit with my own thoughts!
We completely understand. You might want to check out Anna's free course 'The Daily Practice', it certainly helps me sort through all of my confusing thoughts! You can try it here: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice -Calista@TeamFairy
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy thank you so much 🥰
Love this. I will put it on in the background and listen over and over again. So valuable! Thank you!!
You are most welcome! -Calista@TeamFairy
You may be alone physically but we are all in this together. I’ve never felt so alone as the last few years.
I have (and am) learned so much from you and a few others. I started this year by deciding that it's my year to work on my mental health. One thing I found helpful was learning what my body type is (through channels on youtube for free) and how to dress for it. When I looked better, I felt better and when I realized how to properly dress my body, I could buy less and still shop at value village. Anna Bey (Oh, I wonder if it's thing about "Anna's", you guys are helpful? lol) is one lady I've learned a lot from. My personal style is not elegant, but I have elevated my style and it has helped to make me feel better about myself. Have a wonderful day and thank you for sharing your insight. God bless you and your family and everyone here.
Playing this every day in my household until everyone listens to it and hears you. Day 1. This is my first day actually realizing things as they are for a fact with no denial. I need to do the work every single day.
This is a tough one, but a lot of times this type of healing requires us to re-examine our religious beliefs and how they might be affecting the way we show up in the world. Some traditions tend to emphasize a sense of sitting around and waiting for a rescue from a deity. I believe that spirituality can be a big part of healing, but I also think that coming into our own requires us to take a look at what we believe and decide very proactively what we want to take into the future with us.
Interesting perspective, very thoughtful.
It's makes me so so angry to watch ppl sit AROUND and wait to be rescued by some magical deity im spiritual but not religious TOO MANY RELIGIONS are don't question don't think LET ME THINK FOR YOU!!!! Tht belief set ppl up for ABUSE you should always be able to QUESTION AUTHORITY it's being sheep tht abusers look for obviously if your a child you can't get away or couldn't get away from abuse thts a different story but you must must actively fight against whoever or whtever is wanting to squelch who you are within reason
Thank you!! The memory bucket is a good way to look at that! I've only been doing self-help for a couple of weeks. But I've been thinking of all of this stuff my whole life!
I'm thankful to really feel like I can put my traumas behind me and live life as a new person! Never would have thought I could feel like that!❤❤❤
Yay! It’s so good to hear success stories like this!
Nika@TeamFairy
Hi Anna. Something directed me to your video. I appreciate you and all that said in this video. You hit everything right on point, without beating around the bush or trying to be politically correct. Im 56 years old. Ive gone in and out of a number of excuses and treatments. One thing I didn't realize is that too much counseling Did keep me stuck. Although I didnt know during that time. I also realize that sometimes it just takes a persons kind and strong words or time (like you have given in this video) to wake a person up again and again. Sometimes you need to go thru the changes a few times, to get towards another level of happiness. With each time theres more experience and knowledge to apply to life's challenges. With that it gets better and better. I had to realuze the hard way that my traumas are not gonna be erased, nor the evils of them, but I can control the thoughts enough to live! Thank you so much... Im glad I found your channel!
Thank you for sharing this :) -Calista@TeamFairy
There's no way I could ever. Thank you for how much you've impacted my life. II wanna give an advice. I've been on the carnivore diet and for the first time in my life. My anxiety is pretty much gone . As abusive as the last relationship was my faith in God and listening to you along with that diet has Changed me.. I don't know how to ever thank you
19:46 Victor Frankl, a psychiatrist and concentration camp inmate, told a story where a rumor went through the camp that the Allies would arrive at a certain time and liberate them. A surge of optimism went through the camp. Then the date came and went, and the Allies didn’t come, and a large number of the inmates wound up succumbing to their wounds and infections and deconditioning and simply died.
Hope deferred makes the heart sick (Provebs 13:12)
2:22 I am so happy to have found you on youtube. I have not been diagnosed yet, with cPTSD, But am 100% sure I do. I have appts. With a counselor, and Psychiatrist scheduled. You have given me hope. I'm procrastinating this morning watching your video about, yep, procrastinating.
Any resources you have available to share I would appreciate. When I can, soon I will write a lot of my story for you to share.
Thank you Fairy for helping me discover that I'm not a monster, and that there is hope. I may learn how to enjoy the world others have for a few years.
Thanks for your comment & thanks for watching! Daily Practice can help with procrastination by giving you clarity about what’s most important to do today. You can try it here: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice.
Anna offers many other courses that might also interest you so feel free to visit her website where you can find them: crappychildhoodfairy.com From there you can also send your letter to Anna.
Nika@TeamFairy
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy thank you for taking the time.
The best video on this topic bar none on UA-cam with very practical solutions to help people.
Such fantastic information. I absolutely love this channel. It's like a friend is passing on absolute truthful and helpful information for dealing with CPTSD. Thanks for all you do 🙂
Almost every one of your videos has been a huge help for me l fit into almost every category .l have been reading self help books most of my life and now l feel so fortunate to have found you on u tube .I can’t ever have enough self help , l have come a long way from where l started ,but your videos have been an eye opener with issues l didn’t realize l even had ,they have been lurking in my life all along , but had no name and which l hadn’t realized have had such an impact on my self worth . 🙏 TY for your insightful programs 😊
So glad you are here! Thank you for watching and for taking the time to comment!
Nika@TeamFairy
Thank you so much for sharing your invaluable insight and experiences in how you healed your own trauma...writing has been key to my own recovery, as has becoming clean and sober. Everything you recommend resonates with me!
If you like writing, try Anna's DP: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice
Julie@TeamFairy
Your videos have been helpful in my healing journey, you always spot on. Thank you
I'm so happy to hear that! Thank you for taking the time to comment, I'm sure Anna will want to read this :) -Calista@TeamFairy
A huge thank you ! I have a PTSD after 6 years of abusive relationship with a narcissist. Now I'm with a wonderful person, but the trauma almost destroyed it, because I didn't have the right tools to deal with it and constantly hurt everyone around me and myself. I always thought that having this trauma only hurts myself, but after seeing the damage around me, I know it's very destructive for everyone, including my loved ones. So now I'm doing everything I can to recover, for myself, but also for my kid, my partner and my parents. And your channel is a great help. ❤
Glad you are here and found Anna's videos helpful!
Nika@TeamFairy
I never criticized people. There is good and bad in all walks of life. Even friends make fun of you. Putting you down. I have never put someone's body, face, teeth, weight, religion, ethnicity, economic status, decisions, english, speech, habits, appearance, interests, job, car, or style down. No one has that right. People "joke" too much and I am tired of it. Grow up. We are suppose to lift each other up and encourage one another. If you see someone going through a marital crisis, help them to stay committed unless they are in jeopardy. Use your voice to lead someone out of danger and protect their lives.
Thank you for sharing this advice with us. It is truly appreciated by many, I'm sure.
Something I've been struggling with a lot myself lately is knowing weather or not it's okay / wise to tell people that I'm feeling triggered, as well as how I would do so without making myself look less than.
I hold so much shame around feeling "broken" or incapable when I'm having a tough time with interactions-especially when it involves new people that don't know me very well yet. My instinct is try and pretend like everything is okay but then it causes a lot more struggle and emotional turmoil on the inside and has even caused me to completely shut down and be unable to communicate.
I believe the reason that I struggle with it so much is that when Im feeling good, I'm really good. I'm balanced, I'm social I can even be a fairly good support system for others, but as soon as I experience something outside of my comfort zone, it becomes almost debilitating and I don't know what to do.
I feel like I'm being selfish by announcing that I'm triggered in normal situations. Like I'm just making a scene and trying to make everything about myself instead of just working through uncomfortable situations like everyone else has to do
If anyone has read this far and has some words of advice to offer in terms of whether or not it's a good Idea to share about your diagnosis / triggers and or what is a good way to do so without making yourself look weak or easy to take advantage of, It would be greatly appreciated 🙏🏻 thank you
😧 omg! It’s both a relief and a bit frustrating thinking the amount of time spent, poor decisions, crappy situations and everything “…ships” I’ve lived until now on nothing more than a very, VERY common pattern that sooo many people live in due to childhood conditioning.
It’s also greatly empowering knowing that we have tools and we can decide to change things for the better for ourselves and! And! Of course! It helps a lot hearing someone normalizing things you thought was catastrophic for yourself, unique, that not many other people live. It somehow takes the grandeur of the problem and makes it smaller and manageable.
Love to u, Anna! I’m a 38 single mom and I hope someday I’ll get to enjoy the kind of peace you have reached.
I came upon your videos and have been learning so much. I love listening to your messages and perspectives on past traumas. I've been focusing on working on myself and healing and thank you for your videos
Im so glad I found your videos. You are an angel, not a fairy in my eyes. Thank you for your help.
I appreciate your videos, what you say hits home with me! Every relationship I was mentally and emotionally, etc, abused . It started with my mom! God revealed that to me 2 years ago, I have been on a healing journey for 2 years and I will be 55 in April. One thing that is difficult is knowing my life is half may more to being over!
Sister Anna. (You're like my big sister). You're just too good to be true! But you ARE true!Thank God. This is my feeble attempt at using poetry to appreciate you and to tell you what a huge difference you are making in my life. God bless you ❤❤❤❤
I’m sure Anna will want to read this. Thanks for taking the time to comment.
Nika@TeamFairy
So grateful that I stumbled onto the most. Informative, helpful relatable therapist I have ever encountered in all my years of therapy. I have ADHD and Borderline , but I did not know anything about CPTSD and it rings more true with me than anything I have ever studied. Lucky me
Thank you for not skirting around our ability to take radical ownership of ourselves.