Understanding Trauma - Part 20 - Signs of Healing

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  • Опубліковано 8 лют 2024
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    Tim looks at 12 signs that a person is healing from trauma.
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 749

  • @ad6417
    @ad6417 2 місяці тому +346

    My number one sign of healing has been that I'm no longer looking to other people to take care of me.

    • @KJBaskett-wv2xb
      @KJBaskett-wv2xb Місяць тому +25

      Agreed. I am the opposite as I've always been the one to take care of people. I just don't want to care for anyone to the extent I used to.

    • @loragarcia5212
      @loragarcia5212 Місяць тому +5

      That is me still looking for people to take care of me at 64

    • @chueikiir
      @chueikiir Місяць тому

      💜💜💜💜💜

    • @haraldthi
      @haraldthi Місяць тому

      ​​@@loragarcia5212 The way I see things, you can't really judge things by age. It's just an average. And if your life, your input of experiences, has not been average then it's not strange that the results are not average either. So can you instead see it as a basic need that has not been met to a sufficient degree yet, and that you while aware of those needs and what consequences they have try to find out how you may be able to fulfill them in your current life, instead of judging yourself for something you have never had any way to influence? I'm no professional here, but could that at least be a beginning.

    • @ordinaryvalley
      @ordinaryvalley 28 днів тому +1

      Thats a big one! Happy for ya ❤

  • @MargrietS
    @MargrietS 2 місяці тому +324

    Signs of healing: that you are watching a video about signs of healing 😍

    • @MarkThrive
      @MarkThrive Місяць тому +1

      50min worth!
      If your heart isn't in it, Tim probably sounds like wah wah wah wah...😂😂😂

    • @sharonanderson-eh4on
      @sharonanderson-eh4on Місяць тому +3

      Guided to this video is the way I'm looking at it.❤

    • @bazinamelie9211
      @bazinamelie9211 Місяць тому +6

      Thank you from France, those videos are really helpful for people like me trying to better understand themselves

    • @cathsrq
      @cathsrq Місяць тому

      Good one

    • @CarolinNobles
      @CarolinNobles Місяць тому +1

      So true :)

  • @maimunabey3164
    @maimunabey3164 Місяць тому +120

    April 2024... anyone else finding this man is a blessing to healing?

    • @odonnell88m
      @odonnell88m Місяць тому +1

      BINGO!

    • @Falloulla
      @Falloulla Місяць тому +1

      I hope you don't mind me asking, where are you from? How were you able to find this man? I am just curious of how many people are aware of him that aren't from Winnipeg or Canada.

    • @maimunabey3164
      @maimunabey3164 Місяць тому +3

      @@Falloulla of course, I don't mind. I am in United Arab Emirates, but from USA. I was searching on UA-cam for lectures on narcissistic personality in relationships and came across him. I was connected with his approach to CT after accidentally listening to him as I drove long distance. It wasn't until then that I realized what it is that I may be reacting from. I've put so much into perspective lately and listen almost every day applying what I can. I hope you are well, my friend.

    • @Falloulla
      @Falloulla Місяць тому

      @@maimunabey3164 Nice to meet you and this sounds great, I will check his lecture on that. I am having my lunch break and listening to his lecture on self-discipline, I find it to be profound. I am recommending his material to people around me. I am in a healing journey, therapy has helped tremendously however there is still fear of success and blockages I don't understand from pursuing what I want to pursue, I feel his lectures are making me understand in depth slowly what could be the problem. The reward system in my brain is a bit dysfunctional lol. I am grateful for him and grateful for your response. I hope you are well and have a wonderful day :)

    • @wiktoriadrozdzynska3331
      @wiktoriadrozdzynska3331 Місяць тому +3

      @@Falloullafrom Poland and in process of healing after a narcissistic relationship. This videos been such a help especially that there is a lot of people explaining narcissism but not many talking about complex trauma and codependency. I now understand myself so much better and where my behaviours are coming from 😊

  • @kristenmerrill-nl2dh
    @kristenmerrill-nl2dh 3 місяці тому +630

    The 2nd best thing to having him as a therapist are these videos ….this man is so gifted and blesses so many troubled hearts.

    • @tanjalatussek3790
      @tanjalatussek3790 3 місяці тому +26

      I couldn.t agree more. He is a big resource to me as a therapist too

    • @KGandbeasts
      @KGandbeasts 3 місяці тому +24

      To me, he has been a virtual life saver. God bless you Tim 🙏

    • @deborahmartin236
      @deborahmartin236 3 місяці тому +17

      Changed my life…..❤❤❤. He’s a hero for sure 😊

    • @ChannellRajal
      @ChannellRajal 3 місяці тому +6

      @@KGandbeastsI can’t remember what the term is called, but your comment is also an accurate play on words👍🏼

    • @michelemcintyre9749
      @michelemcintyre9749 3 місяці тому +8

      Yes, he's great! Another helpful one for me is also Dr Les Carter. ❤

  • @mskinetik
    @mskinetik 3 місяці тому +398

    This is the first time I've heard a therapist describe signs of healing. Very good to hear.

  • @RaRa-el3iz
    @RaRa-el3iz 3 місяці тому +532

    Who knew we'd grow up and find out one day that we have to grow up all over again ?
    Thank you so much for your contribution.

    • @AnaK-kx4lr
      @AnaK-kx4lr 3 місяці тому +11

      Well said!

    • @Lemoncare
      @Lemoncare 3 місяці тому +15

      What a ah ah moment that was.

    • @GNGU247
      @GNGU247 3 місяці тому +14

      I love this comment 💜🔥 It is so true. I could just laugh and cry thinking about this. Thank you and I hope you have a great day🌞🌻

    • @desertflower4627
      @desertflower4627 3 місяці тому +5

      Beautiful comment!? But wonder if we don't also grow down in some ways? Now I'm going to search out variations of nature where 'stuff' grows in all sorts of directions 😮

    • @RaRa-el3iz
      @RaRa-el3iz 3 місяці тому +5

      Ahhhhh wow 😌 Thanks to you all as well. Appreciate it

  • @Usernameblahblahnblah
    @Usernameblahblahnblah 14 днів тому +9

    I experienced sexual abuse as a child and I never felt aroused by it. I felt terrified and frozen in fear to the point where I blocked out the person's face. At 49, I finally received healing from that terrible, frightening time in my life.

  • @lw6138
    @lw6138 3 місяці тому +428

    Thank you, friend. I am almost a year into this new knowledge. At 53, I had lived a life of anxiety and depression. I perceived rejection and internalized inadequacy, in nearly every social situation. My beloved and beleaguered husband held onto me despite my many attempts to push him away. My adult children knew that I was emotionally damaged and they gave me so much grace. But I had no peace. My mind was my enemy. My thoughts were a skipping record. I finally sought help and was given six ketamine treatments. During those treatments, I was able to have multiple breakthroughs that were life changing. The first was that regardless of how strongly I respond to a situation, it isn't necessarily about me. Then I realized that one second is a very long time. See, I had been in a car accident and I watched my dogs fly through the air into the back of the van. I recall processing the thoughts that I been in an accident. All of this before the air bags knocked me out. So I understood that one second is a long time. Therefore, I can take the time to respond to a situation. Then I realized that my fears affected my perception of God, and that I was actually in a good place with Him! Finally, I understood that there is an OPTIMAL me, buried inside, that is anxious to get out, beyond the damage, and to succeed and be healed.
    So this year, I have healed immensely. I can sleep most of the time now. I don't carry the world on my shoulders. I can be open about my anxiety. My pain has lessened a bit. My relationships with my husband and kids is so enriched and they are seeing my progress. I am able to talk myself out of anxiety attacks.
    All of my life, I thought that this hypervigilant, intense, rapid fire personality was who I was. But once I recognized that nearly all of it was on the list of symptoms for abandonment trauma, I knew that to continue on is to allow those awful people to steal my life even when they were dead. My inner rebel led me to adopt healthier patterns.
    I am grateful for this season. It was very difficult, but I am thinking clearer and cleaning house of the debris of thee past. So thank you for providing enlightening videos for those of us who are paralyzed in a time and place where horror entered our lives, and out us in a cage.
    I am sleeping better. I am honest about my anxiety with people. I am kinder to myself, knowing that I haven't always been. I've stopped fawning (normal people recoil). I am setting boundaries. I am not enduring emotionally abusive relationships because of blood relation. I am addressing my procrastination. I am becoming safe to talk to for those who I hurt, specifically my husband and kids. I am no longer taking everything personally. I've lost a lot of weight effortlessly. Today, I registered for school to learn a new skill.
    Life is good. It's never too late. Take care.

    • @roby9762
      @roby9762 3 місяці тому +23

      I'm 25 yo & 7 months into this new knowledge. I'm not the person I was 7 months ago. Your story is amazing👍

    • @vintageragamuffin4570
      @vintageragamuffin4570 3 місяці тому +22

      I am SO HAPPY for you! It was like a light went on. And you are still so young, you won't have to waste so many years like a cat backed into a corner. Keep moving forward. Be fearless. Love yourself. I was hitting myself. Now i look in the mirror and promise that I will never do that again. We are the walking wounded but when we heal, we will have still much to offer this world. Love you!

    • @nessyv.3802
      @nessyv.3802 3 місяці тому +12

      Thank you for sharing this 🙏 ❤️ there is hope

    • @emen6080
      @emen6080 3 місяці тому +7

      Beautiful story! 🙏

    • @robertafierro5592
      @robertafierro5592 3 місяці тому +12

      I do my artwork in the early morning hours while I listen to Tim and try to figure out where I'm going wrong..

  • @satvik200994
    @satvik200994 15 днів тому +9

    TL;DR
    Signs of healing include a person's ability to feel and tolerate emotions, develop healthy relationships, and live a routine based on meeting their needs.
    For survivors of complex trauma, healing indicators may include the reduction of shame, the ability to set and enforce boundaries, and the emergence of authenticity, self-care, and boundary setting. The healing process involves developing self-awareness, recognizing false beliefs, and dealing with setbacks as progress is not always linear.

  • @JUSTME-ei5nh
    @JUSTME-ei5nh Місяць тому +54

    My sign of healing is my immune is much better...my stress was so huge I stayed seriously ill constantly

  • @basilrose
    @basilrose 3 місяці тому +259

    Disassociation is equally as much due to overwhelm and not knowing what to do because anxiety blocks access to problem-solving executive function.

    • @gothboschincarnate3931
      @gothboschincarnate3931 3 місяці тому +5

      right...your referring to autism....

    • @joshuapjung
      @joshuapjung 3 місяці тому +5

      Whoah. This is a new way for me to look at this.

    • @iloveFreedom.
      @iloveFreedom. 2 місяці тому +1

      ​@@gothboschincarnate3931? Or fear in general/ in most of the pop rt nw!! 😂

    • @5995Jiol
      @5995Jiol Місяць тому +1

      That’s me

  • @MargrietS
    @MargrietS 2 місяці тому +85

    And I want to add another one, I hear myself start laughing again! That’s a really important sign of healing. Also, having more fun or even just once in awhile smile again❤

    • @nuthinbutluv4u142
      @nuthinbutluv4u142 2 місяці тому +4

      This new chapter in my life is called My Turn and I'm changing things...some things are changing on their own. I noticed I stopped sleeping curled up with hands/wrists curled up in front of my chest, which I learned is a sign of trauma. I'm fully stretched out on my stomach again, which I haven't done in decades. Before The Troubles. I take that as a good sign.

    • @lavieenasmr1817
      @lavieenasmr1817 Місяць тому +2

      This resonates so heavily with me. Especially since someone else noticed who isn’t even a close friend. That gave me a spark and I hope to keep it growing

    • @alexanderalzate8560
      @alexanderalzate8560 Місяць тому +2

      its true.. even a friend notices it. hey you just laugh he said. ❤❤

    • @yvonnebertrand3731
      @yvonnebertrand3731 21 день тому +1

      Yes to laughing, even if it's at my own jokes

    • @Truologye
      @Truologye 11 днів тому

      Yes! Laughing is beautiful way to know you're better every day❤

  • @chosenstella7937
    @chosenstella7937 Місяць тому +4

    ❤❤🎉🎉🎉
    The first sign of healing is understanding what you're going through,and not to allow it to control you
    And then you begin to find a way to face it in order to break that circle !!!!
    Because I realised that many people are going through it unknowingly even when you try to talk about it they rebuke you !
    Thank you sir for helping us through this journey!!!!!

  • @jasonmedeiros9492
    @jasonmedeiros9492 3 місяці тому +169

    i was in a fight or flight with my fiancee and My Dad. I was sitting with the disrespectful individuals and finally i could not be a part and broke up my relationship with both of them. I had to take my power and love my self and not tolerate disrespect from either one!

    • @punyashloka4946
      @punyashloka4946 3 місяці тому +7

      Good , heal yourself.

    • @mohanthasundaram5877
      @mohanthasundaram5877 3 місяці тому +7

      Hi I was in a similar situation too.

    • @G_Ozare
      @G_Ozare 3 місяці тому +2

      Good for your brother! Be well

    • @user-jf8ys9qb5m
      @user-jf8ys9qb5m 3 місяці тому +2

      Good For you.❤

    • @lala5061
      @lala5061 2 місяці тому

      That's right 🙌🏽👏🏽🤗 Respect yourself!!!!

  • @stevebutler812
    @stevebutler812 3 місяці тому +104

    I found Deep Tissue massages during trauma work with increased walking (Feldenkrais) helped my body stop holding it all in: pain 24/7 went to way less overall.

    • @angelaraycroft233
      @angelaraycroft233 3 місяці тому +10

      Deep tissue massage has saved my life the last 10 years ❤

    • @Ayushisingh108
      @Ayushisingh108 2 місяці тому +2

      Are u talking about dpdr?

    • @nieczerwony
      @nieczerwony 2 місяці тому +2

      I was getting into lot of troubles and fighting just to get some hits. This reliefs my internal pain.😢

    • @KellyMartin0902
      @KellyMartin0902 2 місяці тому +2

      Same! My pain was SO BAD!

    • @MissiJade
      @MissiJade 2 місяці тому +2

      Oh yes massage apparently helps stored trauma and blockages in the fascia. I had/have on and off crippling leg pain and it began after I went through a tragic and sudden loss. I found that acupuncture and Chinese medicine has helped me more so when the pain wouldn’t go away. I now do a combo of both. If anyone also has acupuncture with massage I would love to hear your experiences. The body really does hold the score. ❤️‍🩹

  • @maggieAPF
    @maggieAPF 2 місяці тому +27

    I took a year off to focus on myself and I feel, after 14 months, I’m almost there. Listening to this video, I know I am. I’m starting to hope, and now am feeling capable. My husband has been very supportive, seeing my growth he is now in therapy as well. It gets rough with both of us in a session together, and yes it gets better then gets bad, then better. I see his growth and I’m so proud of him. It’s TOUGH. It’s WORK. Listening to this helps me pinpoint where my husband is (pretty far back), and I am there for him. It will take time, but I’m so excited for our future.

  • @cassie4611
    @cassie4611 2 місяці тому +4

    Especially when gaslighting is involved

  • @jillbeemer5840
    @jillbeemer5840 Місяць тому +3

    You know he's good by his shirt😉. He doesnt have to 'dress to impress' and to "look" a certain way. He can just wear whatever he wants, because he knows what he's talking about. And he lets his words talk for themselves.

  • @robertafierro5592
    @robertafierro5592 3 місяці тому +54

    People need to be listened TO.

  • @lala5061
    @lala5061 2 місяці тому +8

    I want to give this man his flowers today...Mr. Tim Fletcher I appreciate u sir 🙏🏽...I thank God for your free therapy giving me what I already know but it makes clearer sense when u say it out loud and break it down...thank u sir...God bless u and yours....u are helping to save me (from my abuse long term spouse of 18 yearsI been trying to get out the last 5 and I been done! I will not marry him period)...and I just found u today because your anger/abuse series popped up on my feed out of nowhere and im thankful flowers 💐 ⚘️🌹🌺🌻

  • @ranahamdy8230
    @ranahamdy8230 Місяць тому +8

    I feel like i just found a treasure, Thank you.

  • @kaishodge.
    @kaishodge. Місяць тому +10

    This gentleman has been a psychological drink of water for my parched dessert of neglect. I've listened to countless wonderful videos on healing. This work hits in a way I have never experienced ❤I've been bingeing these videos thank you so much

  • @loveinthematrix
    @loveinthematrix Місяць тому +6

    Your voice immediately makes me feel safe in my body. I don’t know why I just felt that I know that sounds weird but I grew up with a very narcissistic father. Blessings to you, you have such a beautiful presence.

  • @clarkl4177
    @clarkl4177 Місяць тому +34

    Phew! I was JUST WONDERING why I am so exhausted lately. Well, now I recognize how HARD it is to change 😮 So hard, in fact, that my entire self is struggling with being stretched, stressed and pressed. Thanks be to God who leads us in good--but usually difficult --ways🙌

  • @pringlypringles
    @pringlypringles 2 місяці тому +14

    wow I am growing now to get rid of the controlling bullies

  • @johniadipaolo5251
    @johniadipaolo5251 День тому

    I've been on this journey for so many years, and while I'm sure many of us would agree that progress is variable and occurs in phases.. I can honestly say I finally feel like I am starting to build a real sense of self and the beginnings of well-being. This video came to me at exactly the right time. If you're struggling, keep going. It's worth it and there is a future for you to enjoy. You deserve it.

  • @tracyladams3601
    @tracyladams3601 3 місяці тому +44

    It is so important that people understand the self inflicted and displaced shame that comes along with sexual abuse. Even though the body may have responded pleasurably to the experience, does not equate with complicity and the understanding between right and wrong. This has brought much confusion and misconception around the victims experience. The shame is born out of a misunderstanding and taking responsibility. This creates trauma in the body, not necessarily the sexual abuse. It is not until we get older that through the lens of society begin to perhaps perceive our role in it as complicit. If I liked it I must’ve wanted it. That is false. We were children and therefore powerless in it. We are not equipped with the knowledge and ability to protect ourselves. That is not our job. Fawning is often how we survive it and the body responds naturally. Thank you again for elucidating on that. Often times therapists leave out that critical piece to the puzzle and it is that knowledge that can mean the difference between someone healing from that shame or not. 🙏❤️

    • @michy7621
      @michy7621 2 місяці тому +3

      I agree with you i was 7yrs old and now i remembered what happened and my anxiety,delayed etc attacks!Its hard battle i wish i can make it

    • @thebaa63
      @thebaa63 Місяць тому

      I did not enjoy it. I broke off and another part of me, cold and dead inside took over. I found myself out side of car being raped with knife pressed against me. I heard him from far away saying, why can't you move??? You feel did and cold. And i thought, why in the he l would i give you any pleasure?

  • @nakynaky2543
    @nakynaky2543 3 місяці тому +52

    I'm wiping my eyes.. tears of hope embraced me..
    Thank you Tim!

  • @robertafierro5592
    @robertafierro5592 3 місяці тому +20

    Without the ACKNOWLEDGEMENT in the first place, nothing can be corrected. You have to admit that the family is Toxic. When family members are reacting normally to abnormal situations within the family, they are often blamed for "not growing up fast enough" they are told to STOP CRYING!! MY GOD, when the whole family is affected by ONE member's BEHAVIOR, to the point where no one can hide their depression anymore..its BEEN time to seek professional help..dont ever be afraid as a family to ask for help. If that particular Family Member has no interest in growing as a Human Being, then that's THEIR problem. But one thing youve got to remember. Abuse is taught in the home. Tolerating abuse as a young Lady growing in an Abusive household, opened the door for me to tolerate Men putting their hands on me in front of my Son. See how this affects the younger generations so soon? They're always watching. The Children are watching, listening and learning..

    • @lala5061
      @lala5061 2 місяці тому +2

      Amen 🙏🏽 🙌🏽🤗 No More, No More!!!!

  • @user-zz8zv5fm7p
    @user-zz8zv5fm7p Місяць тому +9

    I cannot afford therapy and your series has been remarkable. I have complex PTSD from sexual child abuse and religious abuse. My wonderful church and pastor has also helped me along my journey. Thank you!

    • @happycreature3993
      @happycreature3993 Місяць тому +1

      what did you do besides watching this video? i don't know what to do because i can't affort Therapy 🥲

    • @sammihebert6493
      @sammihebert6493 Місяць тому

      @@happycreature3993there are videos on UA-cam that teach how to self sooth. Depending on your trauma you need to be able to self regulate your emotions, and you can do it with self sooth to calm your nervous system

  • @estarriknight
    @estarriknight 3 місяці тому +31

    6:04 "They're not as triggered to light or to noise" YES! OMG YES! My whole life, my dad was a raging monster over every little noise and I had many of the same traits. As I went through therapy in my 30s, I noticed that these things irritated me less and less. Wild!

  • @STEPHANIEENAJE
    @STEPHANIEENAJE 3 місяці тому +38

    This is so affirming ❤
    I am at the setting boundaries/breaking codependency stage and it is difficult but I can feel the sparks. I clicked this video to remind myself of all the work I’ve done thus far - which you describe perfectly and encourage myself for the work left to do. Thank you ❤

  • @sandrab601
    @sandrab601 3 місяці тому +50

    So happy to have listened to this, Tim. I see now that I have come a very long way. I’d like to add that, in my opinion and experience, inner peace is earned through the process of healing. I protect my peace like it’s an innocent child. I don’t allow anything or anyone in who could compromise it.

  • @APOLLINAIREBARTHOLOMIEU
    @APOLLINAIREBARTHOLOMIEU 2 місяці тому +113

    Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.

    • @elizabethwilliams6651
      @elizabethwilliams6651 2 місяці тому +2

      Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!

    • @Jennifer-bw7ku
      @Jennifer-bw7ku 2 місяці тому +3

      Yes, dr.sporessss. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.

    • @IkamiLog
      @IkamiLog 2 місяці тому

      I wish they were readily available in my place.
      Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac.
      He's constantly talking about killing someone.
      He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.

    • @elizabethwilliams6651
      @elizabethwilliams6651 2 місяці тому

      Is he on instagram?

    • @Jennifer-bw7ku
      @Jennifer-bw7ku 2 місяці тому

      Yes he is. dr.sporessss

  • @andreejohnston516
    @andreejohnston516 Місяць тому +6

    Holy Smokes. You’re describing me totally. Thank goodness I’m relating to this video. Greatful. Thank you! ❤️

  • @m.mercedesalonsosevilla2090
    @m.mercedesalonsosevilla2090 3 місяці тому +33

    He is so articulate,he is changing my life

    • @dianacudby7290
      @dianacudby7290 Місяць тому +2

      You are doing the work, you are changing your life ... by the wisdom & guidance Tim offers in all his talks, I'm on that journey too.
      Yay for all of us doing the work to heal ourselves ❤❤

  • @g0thbrittany9
    @g0thbrittany9 2 місяці тому +19

    thank you so much for your video. as a 23 year old woman suffering from CPTSD it helped me a lot. i've got hope for myself :)

  • @user-jf8ys9qb5m
    @user-jf8ys9qb5m 3 місяці тому +14

    Listening to this is very comforting and healing. My husband died 2 years ago and my grown son abandoned me and deserted me the day my husband died. I was in shock and disbelief. In the months ahead i fell apart. I gave up. I didnt want to live anymore. I got help on my own and was diagnosed with severe PTSD. I had deep depression and non stop grief and crying 24/7. I had to.let people go that didnt have my best interest at heart. Im stronger and more wiser now
    Im so grateful. Ive learned my major triggers. With gods grace and mercy i survived what i thought would kill me. Thank you for your video's. You really get it. God bless you

    .

    • @sheiladuke3289
      @sheiladuke3289 3 місяці тому +3

      ❤ God Bless You ❤❤

    • @goldfishonthefloor44
      @goldfishonthefloor44 Місяць тому +1

      How did you overcome? I have had 8 deaths like dominoes I have been so impacted please share

  • @lisatoms8313
    @lisatoms8313 2 місяці тому +13

    I wish I had found this video a year ago🙏 I'm doing better than I thought

  • @leeandrewminor
    @leeandrewminor 7 днів тому

    Cried tears of joy at one point I’ve realized how much I do love myself and I was taught to hate myself I was taught to not dream I am learning to forgive my mother and let go of the past

  • @lisamareeaccary5132
    @lisamareeaccary5132 3 місяці тому +20

    I’m so glad I randomly came across this , because I feel like I’m getting acknowledgment, and the physical things like sensitivity to light and clenching all my facial and neck muscles to trying to tell others family members what was happening and being shut down because they think you making it up

  • @HoneyMontana406
    @HoneyMontana406 18 днів тому +1

    Omg I just came across this. I know I’ve overcome 53 yrs of CPTSD and PTSD! It’s been a spiritual journey too. I’m writing a book and developing a podcast on my crazy first life and the magical few years I’ve had becoming my true self. Everyone left me, but hey, they didn’t help in the first place. Thanks for talking about the healing. It is possible, my nervous system is still off, but my brain is holding healthy new beliefs. ❤and I’m experiencing a better self than “normal “ people.

  • @Pheonix1111
    @Pheonix1111 3 місяці тому +29

    Thank you immensely Tim. I needed to have a realistic “map” through which I could discern my path towards (and status of) my full recovery. I endured extreme abuse from multiple abusers, so it took me my entire life to heal. Over the last 8 years, I was finally able to express my anger, rage, and pain that I had dissociated from throughout my life due to my survival, because it was so profoundly deep and overwhelming for me to address. I finally can say I survived, and I am truly healing. I will probably listen to this video again and again for my own encouragement.

  • @nyarparablepsis872
    @nyarparablepsis872 3 місяці тому +18

    Thank you so much for this, particularly for giving examples for people with trauma from CSA. I've got PTSD and C-PTSD, and I felt myself getting better and started 2024 with great energy and hope. Then several of my deepest traumata were triggered by an health service official, and since then (3 weeks ago) I have been experiencing flashbacks, intrusive thoughts, tension and pain and huge emotional dysregulation. I've been blaming myself more or less non-stop for it. This video really helped me focus on the things that I have already achieved on my way to healing and accept that this is just a temporary setback that doesn't invalidate where I was before.
    So... thanks 🙏

    • @masterculturedunkerque7918
      @masterculturedunkerque7918 3 місяці тому +3

      ❤best of luck. The interruption of a therapy by the sole initiative of the therapist reactivate my PTSD (when she was supposed to treat me for that at first place lol) and turned it to CPTSD, life has been so so hard but I still have hope

    • @healerscreek
      @healerscreek 2 місяці тому +1

      YES! YES! YES! ❤❤❤

  • @crystald3346
    @crystald3346 2 місяці тому +67

    So if you have complex trauma but don't have someone who you can trust, we must turn to God because he is always there. It's not a "magic solution" because it will still require persistent, often grueling, effort - but you are NEVER alone. Just want to put that out there.

    • @denamenagias1462
      @denamenagias1462 2 місяці тому +1

      Thankyou for that sis I appreciate it so much!

    • @memxfgtwjd
      @memxfgtwjd 2 місяці тому +2

      Bit hard for those of us who religious people often seem to hate for existing

    • @user-js2sp3in2o
      @user-js2sp3in2o Місяць тому +1

      ​@@memxfgtwjd It's not about religion or those people who have mistreated you. You have direct access to a relationship with God through Jesus Christ. No one can keep that from you or take it away once you have it ❤🙏🏽

    • @memxfgtwjd
      @memxfgtwjd Місяць тому

      @@user-js2sp3in2o yeah, no thanks

    • @madsellers4933
      @madsellers4933 Місяць тому +3

      Yeah I need someone with skin. Other humans.

  • @mirelladlima5278
    @mirelladlima5278 Місяць тому +4

    Also one no longer remains a “bug in the rug” so to speak but now you are able to notice your reactions and behaviours from a drone perspective rather than a bug and noticing and being aware of my reactions and behaviour, I now can control my reactions and discern a more effective way to respond to the same trigger 🙏

  • @elizabetharka
    @elizabetharka 3 місяці тому +8

    Thank you ❤ I see the healing within myself more now. I will cry and just let it happen. compassion + curiosity is key when you go backwards. I'm still not sleeping and sleep hygiene is a challenge. breathing, winding down, and relaxing and the structure in the evening is key..

  • @sharondavis3535
    @sharondavis3535 3 місяці тому +12

    ❤ thank you for suggesting signs of healing occurring because we already know what the trauma looks and feels like

  • @TheAspiringSaint
    @TheAspiringSaint 2 місяці тому +3

    Did 6 months in rehab and therapy, found Jesus, got a new job, then an even better job. Making real progress. I admitted I did things that put my life I. Chaos in the past and I have made many mistakes, I admit that. The moment I was on an upward trajectory I cut off all of my old friends, that was easy. But I didn’t think my mother and brother would do everything in their power to tear down all the work God had done and it worked. I began taking responsibility for my actions and took accountability for everything. Even things that were clearly not my fault. Granted, I stopped going to meetings and therapy and I let my anger get the best of me when my family began trying to tear down the healing journey and did a full 180. I’m exhausted. And now everyone just says things like “I knew you never changed” and “everything is your fault” I am genuinely broken from all of this, this time.

  • @judithpellegrino9897
    @judithpellegrino9897 2 місяці тому +3

    Thank you Tim for helping me to fill in missing peices from my childhood. E.g When I was neglected emotionally by my mom because she was too busy or had a hard time coping with life. The other was when my Dad accidentally washed my tender genitals too roughly when I cried, he made me so wrong for crying he wanted to give me a REAL reason to cry. I realized this was another form of sexual and emotional abuse I minimized. Tim. Thank you for saying I believed I was weak. I wasn’t weak. I had a natural response to physical pain.
    I also appreciated hearing how far I’ve come in my recovery instead of always looking at how much further I have to go.

  • @aliciabadashian7234
    @aliciabadashian7234 3 місяці тому +12

    Thank you for this episode. I grew up in a dysfunctional house. And have been working in therapy and self development for over 20 years. My dad recently passed and all the emotional flooding rushed back having to deal with family members. I was devastated because prior I had done so much healing. So much healing to the point I was able to care for my father (the one who caused all my trauma) he was an alcoholic. But once he passed the intensity was real. I thought I regressed. But after listening to your episode I realize I’m still on my path of healing. I have come a long way. And of course, this life circumstance would bring up things. Thank you Tim! ❤

  • @markberman6708
    @markberman6708 3 місяці тому +8

    I find it fascinating that virtually all my trauma is related, either directly or tangentially, related to the decisions of our government and military leadership.. Army brat and spent my life in the Army under multiple political party's... all the same in one way or another.

  • @makaylahollywood3677
    @makaylahollywood3677 2 місяці тому +3

    For myself it's like "The Big Thaw" you're emotional state and conscious are thawing out and slowing going to recall. The real you is going to show up. But, it's difficult to know which parts during the slow thawing out.

  • @Stereostupid
    @Stereostupid 3 місяці тому +17

    This video is actually a miracle of work !

  • @suekelsey1329
    @suekelsey1329 Місяць тому +1

    New people that I meet think that I am way out there. I can see the improvements in myself. That helps me when I remember this. My temper tantrums are much less And the anger only lasts a very short time compared to where I was not that long ago 😊
    Thank You for reminding me of this 😊❤😊

  • @healerscreek
    @healerscreek 2 місяці тому +3

    Thank you for this video, Pr. Tim. I had a hard day and was down on myself for still having feelings from painful stuff that was decades old and had processed already, multiple times. After watching your video, I felt much better about my healing journey. Instead of blowing up into a big flashback and uncontrollable rage, I was able to sit with the feelings and recall events to release the pain. This stuff works. My health is improving. My dysregulation is decreasing. My anxiety is less. My emptiness is less. My wrestlessness is less. My thinking is clearer. My joy is greater. Thank you for all your hard work in helping others. 😊😊😊 ❤❤❤

  • @5DNRG
    @5DNRG 19 днів тому

    This video is so important for us! Thank you so much for this encouraging information!!
    For my CPTSD the key to heal was long term Reiki. It was a fast track for resolving my trauma.❤ God bless all of us survivors...

  • @MissiJade
    @MissiJade 2 місяці тому +2

    I can’t wait to watch your other videos because I have just realised that it is normal to be so severely burnt out so my focus is to work on learning to stop and learn how to relax. I don’t remember the last time I have actually relaxed. I have just subscribed to your channel and I want to share my gratitude. I have such a long way to go however the hope I have begun to feel deep inside is why (and I am sure others can relate) I have kept going. I am also sending everyone who is healing from CPTSD, Complex Trauma, Childhood and adulthood trauma healing energy and support ❤❤❤❤

  • @scaldingstarfish6953
    @scaldingstarfish6953 18 днів тому

    I didn't know that I actually was already healing on my own until what you said at 20:20 , my partner has been coaching me on ways to help myself heal and not berate myself everytime something doesn’t go the way I imagined it. I also am able to stand up to my parents more and voice my opinions on how I was treated. Thank you ❤

  • @wendygoff6874
    @wendygoff6874 Місяць тому +2

    Thank you so much for this video! I have been working on myself so much, but not seeing progress in myself. But after watching your video, I realize I have made huge leaps and bounds! The example of avoiding family gatherings to avoid causing myself the negativity...just did that for Easter w my extended family. I wondered if I had made the right decision, and now I know I did. I so appreciate your videos....as many on here can relate to...I simply can not afford therapy, but educating myself. These videos are life changing. God bless you and to all of us working through complex trauma....we are so strong and resilient. I pray each of us finds our inner strength and healing we soooo deserve🙏❤

  • @schannaish
    @schannaish 3 місяці тому +7

    Thank you for making this incredibly informative video. I’ve been working on my complex trauma in therapy for 2 years and I’ve been “regressing” recently. So it’s so helpful to be able to be reminded that I am slowly but surely making progress because I can see myself in some of the recovery signs mentioned :)

    • @Lyrehcsoulhealing2
      @Lyrehcsoulhealing2 3 місяці тому +3

      Regression is not failure, it's just your inner self telling you that you still need something before you are confident to move forward.
      No judgement. You will find your way (where there is a will, there's a way❤❤)

    • @smithsfan425
      @smithsfan425 2 місяці тому

      @@Lyrehcsoulhealing2thank you

  • @Jess_Pea
    @Jess_Pea Місяць тому +1

    I am actually healing! We have to do so much of the work without even having hope that it will get better, just that we don't know what else to do. It's so hard. Thank you so much for this Tim, really useful and encouraging.

  • @healthyforpurpose1898
    @healthyforpurpose1898 3 місяці тому +4

    Iam revisiting all my childhood memories iam going through each and every bad thing that happened to me iam counseling myself,iam becoming the mother,the friend,the sister I didn’t had when I was growing and every memories am either a mother or a friend to myself

  • @missymessy2641
    @missymessy2641 3 місяці тому +24

    I have been so blessed by your methods, videos, and overall calm, patient, and encouraging demeanor.
    Thank you so much 🙏🏼💗✝️
    May God bless you greatly and continue his anointing upon your healing ministry and your life. ✝️🙏🏼💗

  • @Thegoodwitch8888
    @Thegoodwitch8888 2 місяці тому +2

    This is so amazing. And what’s even more amazing is checking off all the signs of healing, one by one.… never thought I’d get this far. 🙏🏼

  • @StarSurvivor1585
    @StarSurvivor1585 24 дні тому

    As a Therapist I think this man is very skilled and talented. Well done!!

  • @laurar8486
    @laurar8486 Місяць тому +1

    Excellent video! I do see the healing changes in my life from my complex trauma and traumatic marriage. It's so exciting I feel like I'm becoming a new person the person that God created me to be. Thank you for your video.

  • @SoulGlowHealing
    @SoulGlowHealing Місяць тому +1

    This video made my day ❤ thanks for the validation that I am healing. It's often tough to measure how far you've come in your healing journey so this helps me understand how far I've come and where im at ❤

  • @mama_j5041
    @mama_j5041 3 місяці тому +5

    Yay!! I'm doing well!! I'm actually doing all those things! So why am I still binge eating? My inner critic is loud and stealing my hope, which causes me to fall into the "f*ck it" mentality and just surrender my goals. 😢

  • @Lucia_Light
    @Lucia_Light Місяць тому +1

    I am so super grateful for your generosity Mr Fletcher! Your work is such a blessing for us CPTSD survivors. Thank you !

  • @nosceteipsum371
    @nosceteipsum371 3 місяці тому +12

    Grazie mille per il lavoro che stai facendo......🙏 grazie da Milano Italia

  • @user-ro3rv4nw2n
    @user-ro3rv4nw2n 3 місяці тому +5

    I just found you. I can't thank you enough.

  • @juliebjorklund2730
    @juliebjorklund2730 26 днів тому

    A new way of life! It is a struggle at times but I am worth it :)

  • @susanburback8640
    @susanburback8640 21 день тому

    Dr. Fletcher I appreciate you being up this topic in such detail and kindness. I have had PTSD my whole life. I am going to my church and see if we can setup a time/date to watch all your videos. I appreciate you. I suffered from Trauma at a very young age. I had the feelings very negative I was the first known case of Vitamin D resistant rickets. I had many many surgeries to try to straighten my bowed legs. I felt tortured . I was in from 5 years to 15 years. All my surgeries were done at a university teaching hospital, not fun going through surgery and have 20 doctors to be staring at my legs. Not fun. I spent my entire 7th year of life in the hospital. I've seen many many doctors. Many good, some not so much! You are a healer! My prayers to you.😅

  • @wiwiart-iw6lb
    @wiwiart-iw6lb 3 місяці тому +12

    I just saw the whole video. what a wonderful way to explain things. many of the points mentionned resonated with me. Thank you for making the effort to resume it in one video.i hope everyone heals and live a better life. we are all here for a reason

    • @Lemoncare
      @Lemoncare 3 місяці тому +4

      Recovery is a gift.

  • @emmelinesprig489
    @emmelinesprig489 Місяць тому

    Wow! I didn’t expect to see as many signs in myself. Thank you!

  • @ThePlatformSA-jq3lr
    @ThePlatformSA-jq3lr Місяць тому

    A minute in and already the vibration feels validating and soothing. “What am I doing RIGHT” Sooo refreshing! Was about to put on a movie to watch, but this seems better☺️

  • @thechrisburcher
    @thechrisburcher 3 місяці тому +10

    This is excellent and something I have not seen in over a decade of therapy/counseling/coaching. Bravo, Tim and thanks.

  • @willywalter6366
    @willywalter6366 Місяць тому

    Thanks and you nailed a very important fact - digesting too much about trauma is (re)traumatic in itself - the way out should always be the guiding light!

  • @dimerciflour5902
    @dimerciflour5902 Місяць тому

    I am so grateful. It’s not even too late for someone 60.. in my church we look back until we can say BUT ! look what the Lord has done so far … It’s all working I appreciate you so much.

  • @user-jz1nf9ge5h
    @user-jz1nf9ge5h 2 місяці тому

    Thank you Dr Fletcher!

  • @ave2086
    @ave2086 День тому

    truly soothing

  • @danmccloskey5
    @danmccloskey5 Місяць тому

    I have been really blessed by Tim's teaching. Didn't realize how much trauma I was carrying.

  • @feliciacox1870
    @feliciacox1870 Місяць тому +2

    Thank you so much for this beautiful video. You helped me to see my growth in many areas of my life. You are truly such a blessing. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us all.

  • @toddborstad504
    @toddborstad504 3 місяці тому

    Thanks for this talk/lecture Tim.

  • @jyotisharma7730
    @jyotisharma7730 3 місяці тому

    Love the shirt!
    This video is profound, deeply resonating, and healing for me. Thank you 🙏🏾🦜🌿

  • @shellym9657
    @shellym9657 2 місяці тому

    Decades of therapy here….Finally a holistic view of healing/ improving. It’s so hard to see progress when I’m using my feelings as measurement on whether I’m “feeling better.” Finally something tangible I can work with to see how far I have come!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • @mariaflynn4620
    @mariaflynn4620 Місяць тому +1

    THANK YOU TIM- SO VERY, VERY MUCH for all your videos. I recognise I am starting to heal. Still very, very hard but I can see the progress and this video gives me confirmation and helps me to keep going 💗💗

  • @sebastienmorand2479
    @sebastienmorand2479 2 місяці тому

    So clearly explained. Thank you so much.

  • @reginavarghese7876
    @reginavarghese7876 2 місяці тому

    Hanging on every golden word in this video. Thank you so much for posting this.❤

  • @lannadiamond9882
    @lannadiamond9882 Місяць тому

    Thank you for this. I really needed to hear something positive!

  • @sino4456
    @sino4456 3 місяці тому +1

    Thank you so much. I'm further along than I thought❤❤

  • @sabrinaszabo9355
    @sabrinaszabo9355 28 днів тому

    We can use the pain to create something beautiful entrance, and limited, thinking, imposed by childhood. We can reclaim ourselves.

  • @jillplott4986
    @jillplott4986 2 місяці тому +1

    YOU are the absolute best! Thank you soooo very much! Thank you Tim!

  • @ChristianMarrast
    @ChristianMarrast 24 дні тому

    Great information, love this!!❤

  • @DC-tq8br
    @DC-tq8br 2 місяці тому +1

    Thank you for the video!! I am grateful that I am in the healing stage of Hope.
    I spent two years in the prison of my own mind. I started to become paranoid thinking I was somehow being drugged because I couldn't shake this fog feeling. I had no idea this was my own doing by trying to avoid the pain I was in. I spent 5 years with a vulnerable narcissist and during the isolation period of 2020, his mask slipped. Just wow all the gaslighting manipulation, triangulation, broke open some inner child wounds that I was not prepared to deal with.
    I'm thankful that this video popped in my feed.

  • @dreambigger931
    @dreambigger931 Місяць тому

    Thank you for all of the excellent content you provide on this channel.

  • @positvgal8
    @positvgal8 3 місяці тому

    Superb outline of the healing process..thank you Tim for your care❤🙏

  • @sarahs5340
    @sarahs5340 19 днів тому

    So helpful. Thank you.

  • @shavonne4831
    @shavonne4831 3 місяці тому +1

    So much insight and wisdom that hit the nail and resonated. Thank you so much.