After 32 years I ended a"friendship." It was more of a user-ship. I had it 4.5 months ago. She attempted to add me as a friend on Venmo of all places, Yesterday. I am done at 57. Me first from now on.
This woman is saying such PRACTICAL and helpful information. It took me DECADES to figure these things out through prayer and spiritual direction. I hope that young people who had bad childhoods are watching these videos and taking this lady's words to heart because she's nailing it time after time. If you are young and hear yourself in the behaviors she's describing, by all means GET TO WORK as soon as possible. I only wish it had not taken until my fifties to make these discoveries and get beyond these attitudes - thinking that 'later' I will make all the right choices and have the ideal life; or letting people who are long dead still 'pull the trigger' instead of seeing MYSELF as the one who can choose to be triggered or not! Letting myself have nice clothes, nice things, nice experiences is OK - spending money on myself is OK. It was only in 2019 that I learned about narcissists and why I seem to be a narc-magnet - and to realize that It's OK for me to ghost a narcissist and feel GOOD about being rid of that kind of person in my life. Sorry for the ramble, but SHE'S RIGHT. LISTEN to her! Don't wait! Let your life begin!
Thank you so much. I'm actually 57 and this is a new discovery to find out why I'm such a mess. I was only afraid I couldn't heal because I spent so many years messed up. You've really encouraged me.
As a woman I feel I’m running out of time. I can’t bear the thought of having children because I’m not healed. And yet I don’t think I’ll be healed in time to start the process. Turning 40 this year and feeling grief in advance for the next years to come.
The fact that you're ALREADY thinking like a "Momma Bear" and Concerned about the betterment of 'involving your Children' (who are NOT even born yet) speaks volumes of what kind of conscious Momma you would be to them. Besides once your aware of where the s*it feelings are coming from, its hard not to STOP and THINK, BEFORE saying or doing anything that could possibly cause any damage..to them or anyone else. And if your in the habit of checking your emotions as they arise, which inevitably it WILL become a habit, (Being self aware).. Your going to be a much better Momma than MANY Many Mothers out there . I hope that I am making sense-as I read over it again, it seems to be a difficult read?. I Do hope that you understand what I'm stating. Please just Acknowledge the rich sentiment of "you not being able to Bare the thought.". You are a Momma Bear already and that strength will ALWAYS protect your children, even from yourself. I hope that you don't hold yourself back from living the beautiful, miraculous life that you were given because of what others have done. F*k them. Regain yourself. Be a Momma Bear to that Child inside. You want her to live her life to the fullest don't you? Don't give your power away.. its those butterflies in your stomach! The goosebumps on your arms, its the hairs alerting you on the back of the neck, listen to all the answers you are innately born with. We just couldn't act on those answers as children when the "perp" took it upon themselves to convince that child of something that was against the grain. You were right to feel "off"about what happened to you, your always right, Always believe in her, don't question her, she's waiting for you to let her be herself again, so that she can guide you through other People's BS AND bad situations or bad choices.. so, Build her up, love her deeply and then give her a big hug n kiss everyday and then kick her out of the house, to go get everything this magnificent (finite) life has to offer and wants to give to her, effortlessly & peacefully. Stand with yourself as a child in wonderment as children are supposed to be and she will stand with you as a woman who trusts herself ,loves herself & envelopes life's innate answers to everything, everyone, every circumstance. And doesnt question the answers your brain n body are giving you each n everyday. Take all the good life has to offer..have minimal regrets in the end. The past is dead. And it's been killing you too. Be. Just be. Human Being just being. I'm done. (I think I was refreshing myself with all that too..) I hope you feel better 😊 I do..I got my big girl pants on again..😊😂 Go git em.
I really like that your main focus is on helping people get free. You don't push for donations or membership subscriptions, and you offer real help that doesn't require money - just time and commitment.
💯 some people just go over the symptoms for an hour without a grain of advice, you have to sign up to some course or book a private session just to even see if its right for you... she is very generous ❤
I agree and at the same time her paid programs are not only valuable but it’s how she supports herself. There have been times I’ve purchased a class of hers just to financially support her for all of her generosity. I mention this since I also think it’s important for us to financially support those who support us.
I feel like the older I get, the more I isolate myself. My youth is gone, I wasted it focusing on all the wrong things and now I just feel like I putter through my days in depression waiting to leave this place. Never have belonged here....I'm exhausted from trying to fix me with no real gain, only that I see it all to clearly in myself. The abuse I experienced as a child at the hands of my mother and abandonmentof my father are locked down, I cannot imagine being different for every time I try, the mask comes off and I die a little more. I'll never trust people again with that kind of vulnerability....never.
Wow exactly how I have been feeling . But I’m really trying to make a change and find my happiness because it does come from with in . Your not going find happiness you have to create it . Which I’m having a hard time . But I’m not going to give up and I hope you don’t give up too . Just do what you love and be your true self .
I was just the opposite. My childhood and young adulthood I loved to the fullest, now I too isolate more. I think it's normal with aging. You are experiencing a new season for yourself. Focus on you! Not others anymore.
Anna , I just had to say thank you thank you thank you. I already have thank you but I have been listening nonstop to your videos for about the last two weeks and they are helping me tremendously. You may have even noticed when I first commented on one of your videos. I’m sure you can’t keep track of everyone, but, I am going to say it again you have a gift. God bless you and best to you through everything you do and how you help others. One of these days I am going to write to you, but I think I shared with you due to my type of career, I use my hand a lot for work on the computer designing, so it’s very difficult for me to even type and certainly not handwrite. My hand needs rest at the end of my workday. I usually auto dictate everything when I can. I am painting right now, and it’s helping to “regulate“ me ha ha, while I am listening to your videos, in this marathon of “crappy childhood ferry” videos that I’m on ha ha but not so ha ha because they are beautiful and amazing and very therapeutic. Thank you I know I have a long way to go but this is a start. Thank you no one else has been able to peg itlike you have thank you and I know you know what I mean by “it”. Thank you thank you thank you
The first thing I needed to do was to get 💯 clean and sober. I was using things like benzodiazepines and alcohol as an escape from my CPTSD symptoms. I went to therapy for years, but I never made any progress until I got off the benzos and stopped drinking.
Richard Carlson's "Short cut through therapy" and Tony Robbins advocate on living in the present and not constantly talking about the past. This is important
I'm working on eating healthier and have been going to Weight Watchers for a year.. and I have lost 50 pounds and I am proud of that achievement as well as all of the model car kits I have built successfully since I rediscovered the Model Car Building hobby 2 years ago ..
That’s such an achievement. Happy to read people’s success stories. I discovered Anime Model kits this year and working on them gives me a sense of peace and accomplishments.
Here’s what I do. I take the pause but then I don’t go back and talk about it. It is so painful for me to be unheard. And I have fear of the reaction of the other person
Thank you so much for making this video. I've just recently become awear of some childhood emotional abuse (covert) and the possibility that I may also so have some Childhood PTSD. I can really relate the the Comment you read, I had a similar thing happen a few days ago: I was having coffee with a friend, we were chatting happily about stuff we were both interested in and she was sharing stuff about her life. Then later I started telling her about the work I'm doing on building my new business and immediately her eyes started to drift off.. It was an instant trigger for me because it confirmed the belief I have about myself that no one is interested in what I have to say and that I'm "boring". Instead of shutting down, I excused myself, went to the bathroom, had a cry, came back and gently asked her the direct question "when I talk about my buisness, do you find it boring?" I told her that I asked because I don't want to make assumptions about these things anymore because it causes me to shut down and I don't want to do that because I value our friendship too much for that. She told me she goes quite when listening to things being said that she's not sure how to contribute to but she's still listening. It cleared the air and we continued to have a nice time. I actually went home feeling happier than before.
I believe she was doing the right thing there. When you think about it, to listen, we need to go silent, let that person have the floor. Perhaps she can concentrate better on the content if she were to look away from you- and just listen on... Many times ppl do that. I'm glad you asked her after your cry, bc it turned out she was infact listening the whole time. The only thing I would watch for is how long you keep a person listening, and also if there acting like your a burden, or it's a burden to endure. These ppl are the ones you would do better to leave our of your loop. Finding someone who would mentor you in your work life and personal life is truly a blessing, if that were to ever transpire. But you don't need someone else to validate you- you just need someone who's chooses to honor you by truely listening. I think that she did.
Wow! I just recently had a therapist tell me to 'feel my feelings' instead of what I was doing, which was cleaning. 'Feeling my feelings' was not the problem, the problem was I was feeling 'too much'/overwhelmed. I am the one who decided to get back into meditation and using the cleaning as practice to manage my feelings. Mindfulness...especially for my pain management does not work and I've been having terrible insomnia this year, but I'm working on it. This past month I've been triggered more than I have in years. In my experience with an alcoholic parent, which was my father, he was never mean, everyone loved him as he was funny, helpful and the life of the party. However, his drinking caused a lot of unhappiness for my mother, who was the mean angry one and took it out of my sister and me. Luckily, the physical abuse stopped when we were teens, but the partying was non-stop for several years...for the entire family. I did not understand until I was in my 40's that not all kids were exposed to the kind of drinking that we had been exposed to. My parents divorced when I was 17 and my mother moved out, so I was left to take care of my alcoholic father, as my younger sister left too. My sister and I both grew up and married addicts and alcoholics. I'm divorced (twice)now and been doing the deep work for 6 years, which is a very long story due to me allowing my ex (alcoholic boyfriend after divorce) to bread crumb me for 3 years. I shut that down finally. It took me a long time to understand what I want, what I need and what I deserve. Just to be clear, we have a very close relationship with our mother now. We understand that her childhood trauma (she was one of four sisters sexually abused by her father) deeply affected her, as my father's childhood beatings affected him. Our father died of cancer 15 years ago. My mother has profusely apologized. I am now working on healing ancestral trauma.
@rowanstarling3816 Thank you for bearing your soul and sharing your story. I so appreciate your transparency and that of everyone else on this beautiful, healing platform. My heart goes out to you. "Bread-crumbing"...I need to remember that. I see where I failed to be a good partner. I feel like I keep recreating my parents' toxic relationship. No communication whatsoever. I pray that you get to the place you want to be in your world. I pray it for myself and everyone else here, reading this. Thank you and God Bless. 💔🙏💖= 🥰
I have the most difficult time listening to these videos. This video is the first one I've been able to listen to all the way through. It overwhelms me. I do have ADHD in addition to CPTSD. It just wears me out. I had prayed about where to begin, and this video showed up in my feed within 24 hours! I am going to attempt to use this in addition to the 2 different therapist I see weekly. *(I just started CBT last week.) I've been in talk therapy for almost a year because of my emotional dysregulation after my nephew and his friend*(of 5 days) were mur.dered by a stalker and I lost my peace, my job due to dysregulation, then Covid, then homelessness 3 times in 3 years. I am so very grateful for Anna and her Crappy Childhood Fairy assistants along with her experience, strength and hope. I hope for a better future going into my 60's. ❤
I have been clean and sober for 7 years. I work for myself so I'm always by myself. I have anxiety so bad that I cannot be around people, and I've isolated myself for so long I'm sick of myself. Last week I decided to go to the church across the street and I stayed the whole time and ran out when it was over.. I've spent the whole week stressing about what people thought when they tried to talk to me and I started hyper ventilating.. them I feel guilty and then I feel stupid. I haven't hardly slept in a week.. before I went to church I could sleep easily at night, not now! Now I am up until 3am sick at my stomach and unable to stop thinking. I'm losing my mind. I want to change, I have a college degree I cannot use because of my own bs in my crazy head..I WAS FINE before I decided I wanted to change.. you probably won't see this and that's ok.. but if u do, what the hell is wrong with me!??
"The devil we know is better than the devil we don't." Change is scary. What if you screw up? What if you fail? But you wanna know what? Screwing up is inevitable when you're doing something that's new to you, and most reasonable people understand that, whether we got that message from our screwed up childhoods or not. And you're gonna fail from time to time when you try new things. But you wanna know what else? It's not likely to kill you. You can try again, and keep trying until you "get it right". Look; is anything worse than what you've already experienced? I bet not much is... so if you try, and you fail, what have you lost? Nothing, because that just means the situation hasn't changed for you, right? But if you try, and you *succeed*... think of how wonderful that might be. Isn't that possibility worth making that leap of faith? Speaking of making a leap of faith, if you want a suggestion from just another traveler on this road, may I suggest you try going back to that church? I'm willing to bet you're not the first person who's come in there and panicked when people spoke to them. It's pretty common to seek out a faith community when one is lonely or in distress, and that's ultimately what they exist for. I used to be clergy (although I am sure my faith tradition is likely different from yours because I am a Neo-Pagan) but some things are universal, and I have to tell you, I had that happen in my community, and more than once. You know it's a good community when someone - hopefully the clergy, but someone - comes over and sits near you but not too near you, and welcomes you, and gently asks, "Are you okay?" And if that makes you lose your shit and cry all over them, you go right ahead and do that. I promise you that anyone who is trying to provide spiritual guidance for others has had this happen before... and one of the reasons someone is called to that job is because they want to help. There are people who do it under false pretenses for nefarious reasons too, yes... but watch some more videos about red flags and that should keep you safe. I know Anna's got a few good ones ❤🩹 You can do this. It's gonna be okay. You've already taken the first step, and that's always the hardest one. You've got this.
I love Mr Rogers and go back to his songs sometimes when life sucks. “What do you do with the mad that you feel”, or “The very same people who are good sometimes are the very same people who are bad sometimes”.
I'm so glad I caught this before I left to pick my daughter up from work. I'm downloading it and I can listen while I'm driving. Thank you for everything. ❤
I made a list of what was reasonable to change, and started ticking things of. I've put in work, I struggle, I move forward, and as I achieve a goal I put a new goal. I started making five small achievable goals per day. Nothing outrageous but achievable, that gets me to my bigger goals. Each thing can make progress. It takes time, and patience
Now I understand why innocent remarks from certain types of people trigger me so much. Just a few hours ago ithappened again, and I just let it wash over me, that storm of feelings. It didn't kill me, I am still here, I don't need to run and hide, it's ok to stand still and feel the feelings without the world ending. Thank you!
I had my first (only) baby at age 43. I cried & cried because I was SO scared of ruining her. She’s now ten years old. I still have my issues but I keep it real with her. I talk things out with her. She’s kind, understanding and forgiving. She has a waaaay better life than I did. She is an amazing, smart, kind, beautiful person. I want to be like her when I grow up. 😆 No parent is perfect but it does help if you are working on healing. Hugs. ❤
This is the second time I have felt the truth of what you have to say. I discovered your channel a couple of days ago. I have spent so much time feeling crushed by what I now realise is cptsd. I think that this was complicated by a PTSD causing event just as I reached adulthood. After thirty years I got some help with that event and I was so confused by the therapist starting with my childhood. Now it makes so much sense. The PTSD event was so huge that it became what I thought was my identity. What you speak of just rings true all of the time. It is a comfort to know that it is what's happening in my head that is the problem and that I can do something about it and it makes so much sense. I am starting the daily practise tomorrow. I don't know where it will take me but honestly I need to stop being so triggered. I need to be in charge of myself going forward because I have lost who I am and the ability to understand what I want and need from life. Exciting times.
I have completed the training for the practise and it is all I hoped for. I finally feel hope. I am so sorry to hear about the terrible thing that happened that started all of this. It is uncanny that this was a similar situation to my own. I am so glad I have found some help and that hope. I have been hanging on by the skin of my teeth for decades. Now I don’t feel the urge to let go. I want to soar.
@Stephen Costello Loved "I need to stop being so triggered. I need to be in charge of myself going forward because I have lost who I am and the ability to understand what I want and need from life."🎯 Everything you shared resonated with me big time, and I just wanted to say, "Thank you". I am not always able to put my feelings to words. You said it very eloquently. 👍💯🙏
Every human is different. Do never forget. Something might work for some and not for others. Ive tried ALOT of things. I do have C-PTSD + many addons. There will never be a certain way to heal for everyone since we are all different. Best way is to find the way that works for you, and you really try and fail. Never give up! And always remember my brothers and sisters: You are not alone! ❤
Thank you! You are the first online coach/ therapist that articulates cptsd in a way that is real with practical , doable steps to heal a person! I just want to say a BIG Thank you!!! ❤❤
I have been searching for something like this for a long time. I was beginning to feel as though all hopes of living a happy, loving and normal, life were gone. I need the help. Crappy childhood fairy, you just might be my savior. I definitely do not feel all alone anymore. I just can't believe that I'm not an alien. You are 100% on the money. I'm 58 , it might be too late for me now. I'm just so tired and there is so much work that needs done. I find it overwhelming. I'm 58, maybe it's too late for me. My focus is so bad that it took me an hour to write this message and that's not even the tip of the iceberg.
Hey there. So I'm not much younger than you; I'm 49. It's never, ever too late to make your life better. My healing journey has taken a lifetime, and just as I think I have my shit together, I discover there's more work to do... but with every step, my life has been better and better. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. Start with the learning how to re-regulate, like Anna says. Next step? What's the thing in your life that's making you feel the shittiest right now? Work on that. When that change becomes a habit and you start seeing results, work on the next thing. And the next after that. That's how it gets done. You can do this.
Thank you, at 63 I'm excited to start my journey to my healing place! You have been the first person that made sense to me on how I'm feeling! I'm soooo grateful for your channel! Thank you, thank you!
The mindset that youve developed as a child makes it almost impossible to see what actually triggers you as you see the actions of other ppl being turned against you. You actually believe that people are rejecting you even if theyre not youre still triggered and you feel they do it because there is something wrong with you. I had severe depersonalization and derealization far over 10 years and the only thing that helped me to see the light and a way out was my therapist. She was an outsider, she didnt have the mindset I had so she could help me to navigate through experiences that I had percieved because she could see through my triggers. A lot of work has been done, Im still healing and sometimes its difficult to say when I am being triggered or people actually crossing my boundaries. I know its possible to break free but its a constant work through rewiring your thinking process and I am pretty sure its possible. I am still fighting and every day I feel its getting better. I wish everyone to heal themselves one day and live their authentic lifw where difficulties are percieved as an oportunity to constanly grow and feel better
It has been possible for many so why not you? Glad you are doing the work! You may find the free course Anna created beneficial too: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice -Cara@TeamFairy
At 73, your the first professional psychologist that can relate to CPTSD, that I know of. I believe I can learn more from you, than I have figured out on my own since early childhood. Thank you for sharing!
Anna isn't a psychologist actually. But we are so glad that you are feeling supported - there's more interaction available with Anna in the membership program bit.ly/CCF-Membership -Cara@TeamFairy
I'm a comfort eater, especially cakes so I make my own , add half spoon sugar and use less, use wholemeal flour and or oats and fruit, make healthy cake now I don't like stodgy shop made cakes.. it's not stopping eating sweet things but it's a step in the right direction
This is really strange. When I first discovered your videos, they made me aware of my symptoms but also angry to a pint I had to stop listening. Not anymore. I have no idea why. Couple of years later here I am again, so grateful for you, your words now feel like a blanket for my soul. Maybe I'm finally ready.
Just discovered your channel through Patrick Teagan… thank you for this opportunity to indulge in your wealth of knowledge, and heal my inner child and discover & embody my inner parent/adult. ❤️
I’m finding healing attachment trauma so difficult. I can’t connect to anyone. No friends is hard because it’s hard. So I go to 12 steps for alcohol addiction but still lack confidence to do anything.
Actually, I did not have to look at the screen to listen to you. I’m fixing dinner as I’m listening. I appreciate the fact the I can get things done while also getting your help. Thank you
I am so grateful to have chanced upon your videos- I have been recently diagnosed with CPTSD and am educating myself on what this means for me. I have lived a life of Dysregulation and Triggers for years. I need to be the person I was meant to be- calm, firm, clear. To make a life I deserve.
I cant believe how good these videos are. I used to stutter and stammer every time i talked to my mom on the phone. I worked with a therapist to come up with something i could do and i was really motivated. I had a childhood stutter but i went on to major in speech and have ease with public speaking. Long story of course but I never picked up the phone when i saw she was calling. I called back when i felt ready. And i imagined her with a chicken head. BAUCKK BAUCKK! CLUCK CLUCK. i always laughed a little before i dialed. In the beginning i had to look at a picture of a chicken. It worked and still does. You dont expect a chicken to listen to you. I apologize to all compassionate chickens.
Ever since I was finally able to get SSDI-(Social Security Disability Income) after fighting to get it for 15 years my financial situation is a lot more stable and that has helped a lot in my healing... And I can still work part time which helps for extra money too ...
I am 60 now and alone, no partner and sons live far away. Been in a traumatized state since youngest moved away and had total breakdown and nervous system completely disregulated to almost bedbound. I dont know what to do anymore. Body is so tired that exercise is too hard and exhausting. Constant state of fight flight. Am tying daily practice of writing. I have nobody to turn to. Feel at the end mentally and physically. Help needed thank you.
Thank you so much I wish I knew all this before I had kids but now I know an im healing and working on it everyday to become the best mom I can be and fixing all the wrong ways to raise my kid learning about what's wrong with me is helping so much and I'm able to control myself more and more thank you
Noticed how after doing the daily practice (which I love and it immediately helps me), sometimes the deeper stuff starts coming out. All of a sudden I found myself crying about my mom who passed away many years ago and I thought I’ve overcame the grief. So it’s possible that I cling to daily distractions and overthink about mundane stuff to avoid deeper pain.
I've been marathoning your videos this week, feeling understood and learning more and more about the healing journey I need to take. Thank you! From Brazil. ✨🇧🇷
You hit me where it hurts in this one. In a good way of course. When you said the part about saying you can’t work because you’re healing or you’re too good for it… etc… That’s me 😔. I complain all the time about not having enough money to live on my own, and my mom says “Sydney you need to work like everyone else.” I just work three days a week because it’s like I can’t handle a regular schedule. I have three “side hustles” that bring in income every once in a while (selling vintage clothing, doing projections for musicians, and managing an AirBnB), but I don’t make enough money collectively to get my own place, and if I do, it’d be a room in a shared house which I hate. I say that I don’t want to work full time at the restaurant because I’m over the service industry and I need free time to have a healthy lifestyle and inner peace, but I have to make choices. Right now, at 25, I need a full time job. It just is what it is. I’m not making enough money with the other things I’m pursuing YET, so I need to be a big girl and up my hours at the restaurant. I hate realizing how self victimizing I truly can be.
I feel you on this one. I've been struggling on my own path of healing because I feel like work sucks up so much of my time. I've been doing a full time job that also requires an hour of travel every day, plus extra time after work to try to build up a new portfolio. All to tread water financially because I broke off a previous relationship (in which I had stayed too long, ugh lol) that was providing half of the rent. I feel genuinely burnt out and exhausted most days, so I always want to lean on that as an excuse to lose myself in a book and not put effort towards progress that day. However, I know that I'll only feel stuck for longer if I give in to that mindset. A lot of this stuff is easier said than done! I always hope that all this struggle with eventually amount to something better. I guess you sometimes have to add another rock to your pack before you can remove two the next day, so to speak. It'll get lighter eventually, but you may have to add a little more weight first.
I thank God for you Anna. Thank you for sharing everything you have learned and I want to say so much more to thank you…. I don’t have the words for how valuable these videos are to me. Thank you!
im always so hard on myself for where im at in life and need to stop that. i do try with some things, not all, but no one is perfect. ive been able to help other people and kids and thats priceless. right now ive been very faithful on a keto diet and without all the sugar my anxiety has really dramatically decreased. slowly i can make some more changes. ive overcome addictions all on my own which is pretty tough. if i hadnt been so run down by injuries and surgeries i dont think id be where im at.
Wow! I'm finally at the point where I can process this information. Two years ago, I had an ending with a business client and started googling Narcsisism, stumbled upon the book, " The Deepest Well" all about ACE scores and can now feel tangible evidence of healing. Wow! I'm a Paramedic, go figure. I've devoted my life to saving people but not myself. That is all changing. I want to move on and work with adult survivers of childhood trauma probably as a trauma coach. Thank you, Anna.
Have you ever helped me!!!...I can't thank you enough, Anna. Now that you have alerted me to my reactions, my self regulation has kicked in....I can certainly feel my inner conflicts, and calmly monitor and regulate my responses while being totally myself. It has been so freeing, and I know that I have a ways to go...Bless you!
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy You have really found your life's purpose.....I was instructed as a child to do this thing and that...all inappropriate to me...I am writing a book now on How To Target Your Child's Natural Talents.....I did mine to GREAT success.....It makes parenting so much easier...But this is based in my childhood where I was never acknowledged as the true indiv I was....I had two brilliant parents who lived in their own worlds...I parented myself!...It continues with your insights!..Gracias!!
I am so grateful for all of this information. All my life I have struggled with these feelings, that I cannot or did not know, but now know where they are coming from. I have made several terrible decisions and stayed in bad relationships, crapfitting as they say. Now I am free from them all, but find myself so far back financially from all my friends, still feel like a loser, even though knowing it was not my fault for much of it.
I’m in my 50’s and I’ve been dysregulated my entire life. Is it too late for me to find balance and peace? I can’t stand being this way anymore and I can’t live like this anymore.
I recently found your channel. By listening to the first video about a week ago and hearing you speak about CPTSD. I never knew of it before. Everything makes so much more sense now. Multiple-times in debt, clutter, feeling unconnected, obesity .
I have been home since the beginning of April with sciatica and could barely walk. This has also caused a return to my spiritual life where I used utube to guide with some of my prayers. In between one of those sessions, I saw you and have been up for hours listening. At LAST! A light. Always knew that something was missing...and here you are and the answers I've always looked for...
How is the sciatica? I had it for awhile. It was terrible. Dr's tried to force surgery on me but I resisted. I continued to pray, walk and stretch when I could and it finally went away. Wishing you quick recovery.
12:00 yes, those sentiments can be a trap. We aren’t endlessly powerful, but we all have *some* power, *some* influence. We’re not meant to give up and let the crazies stay in charge. Maybe we can’t fix it RIGHT NOW, maybe we can’t prevent every bad thing, but we can make choices
I am 38 and I am just learning this, so many things to be healed from narcisstic mother, avoidant stepfather, tarnished reputation in my job and from joining a cult😢 thank you to this video
19:17 I had to tell someone that I was getting aggitated based on the subject matter, that it wasn't them. I was just reacting to something that they know I get passionate about. And I got off of the phone. I was totally dysregulated. My whole body was shaking.
I grew up in a toxic dysfunctional family and married into one worse than mine. I only lasted with this selfish, crazy, sex-adduct for 3 years before I realized he was no good for my sanity. My dad refused to let me break up with him because he would pick me up from work when my dad was fearful of night driving. Years later I realized that I had PTSD from my toxic childhood but no one ever agreed with me. I also had Adult ADD that confuses me with many disconnections when my thought or quiting is interrupted and I lose my train of thought or miss a few Seco ds if what I am listening to because the ADD faces mevout at times. Your blog is making so much sense to me so I feel better. I have also rejoined the 12 step Grow group for those with dysfunctional mental problems and it had worked as well as it did 20 years ago when I first joined.
I started noticing the past few days that I actually don’t really like someone who is a parent to one of my kids friends. I people please and fall into over sharing with her… even though I KNOW she isn’t safe/I don’t feel safe. I need to step back but it’s hard as even though I don’t feel safe the feeling unsafe is “comfortable”. if that makes sense? I don’t like it but I’m not sure how to take steps back.
I get re regulated from being in nature. I’ve been dis regulated for a long time. My recent relationship taught me so much. I’m unpacking them. Changing my response in the moment. Re regulate myself and ask for time!
Each of your video is about me. I am so gratefull that I have found you on yt. You put into words my feelings, my emotions, my behaviours and my thoughts which I wasn't aware of. Thank you
I constantly tell myself that i am cursed, thank you so much for these videos. Just found your channel 2 days ago and ive binge watched hours of them. I relize that im the problem and i need to heal. Im 35 and so many screwed up things ive done with no real explanation when i asked make a little bit more sense now
Just finding out im autistic and adhd was abused as a child NOW! at 46! 😢 my hands dont work sometimes i thought it was fibromyalgia im working with a kid who has autism and its triggering...i have a negative affect too
This is so clarifying. I’ve had CPTSD and been dysregulated for a very long time, before I got on the right meds that regulate my emotions. I’m old now but seeing myself in the past so much more clearly, listening to this vid.
Gosh. It's like you are talking to me. I've been watching your videos and I can resonate with everything you are saying. I'm a 49 year old single mom of 2 great kids trying to regain my life back. I finally left my narcissistic husband but my kids are feeling the brunt of his personality right now and don't know how to help them handle their dad properly. The kids stay with me some days and I feel guilty that I was able to get out of that abusive relationship and I feel like I left them behind. This brought me here to this channel. Being aware that my symptoms are not unusual for someone with CPTSD makes me feel hopeful that our life can get better. I'm grateful for the time and effort you put into these videos and you are helping so many of us - Thank you.
My youngest of six just turned 18, I turned 40 when he was a month old. I am 58 years old now. I just found out what was wrong with me. I have 6 kids that all suffer from it also because of my lack of parenting skills. U was invisible u didn't know what my name was, what a name was. Just knowing I wasnt crazy helpso. Im looking forward healing and living a better life
Dear Anna, I was drawn to your channel through your podcasts on procrastination (as a trauma symptom, who would have thought?) and on childhood trauma-induced CPTSD several days ago. What you shared sooo resonates... Binge watched several other videos since... Thanks for your courage and immense love in sharing your beautiful heart, your story, time and resources to help others. Your courses (free and otherwise), just like the videos, will help so much on my healing journey❤
I found out I have bipolar, so I filed for SSDI. I hate not working but am babysitting at least to keep active and help out a friend. I take my meds but feel tired when I'm not babysitting and rest a lot from the meds relaxing me so much. Thanks for your advice!
Losing myself while trying to dump my lumps! I am concerned I won’t make it and end up not really making it to my goal. Damaged in places I can’t see but I feel is overwhelming me in the now! Ugh I don’t like who I’ve become! Can’t recognize that woman in the mirror! Who did I become? Shocking I have been absent while I was doing all this work to heal!!
My friend I am not ok with the current environmental situation in which we find ourselves! I’m not one to be told what I SHOULD do like WEAR THE MASK! CANNOT DO IT! I cannot be shamed guilt ridden or bull dozed! I became a bully fighter! I don’t hold my tongue now like I used to! I speak with power and intention and zero fear! I have no shame or guilt! I an pissed now at the extent of the madness that others ALLOW! I’m not ok with their ways!! I reject it all as I feel the fall as I hear myself call:) ME
13:40 the good news!!! We (cptsd/adult children) can heal!!! We can find space in the moment of trigger/flash back being conscious... we don't have to react in dysregulation! We now have agency to buy time and process. We can solve it now because we have done the work to deal with our past while we are regulated. We don't have to stuff our feelings and explode. We have agency over our nervous system now! I loved this video !!! Thank you for spreading hope and shining a light on healing cptsd! 😊
Great video, thank you so much for all of your help. The common quote that God will not give you more than you can handle is true, but we often times give ourselves more than we can handle. We often times add stress and stressful situations to our lives on top of what we are dealing with. Then it becomes too much.
God gives us more than we can bare so we drop to our knees and ask Him for help. It's His pleasure to help us. Psalm 9:9-10 The LORD also will be a refuge for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble. And those who know Your name will put their trust in You; for You, LORD, have not forsaken those who seek You.
Driving while disregulated is very common for me. Easily triggered. So many agressive drivers. My "safe" place to disregulate. So many people's only private space.😢😢😢
The "God won't give you more than you can handle" verse is being used in the wrong context as well by most people. If you read the verses that precede that one, you'll see it's talking about temptation. The verse after it says God always provides a way out of that temptation but we still have a choice to resist it or not. It drives me crazy that people keep misusing this verse.
I really appreciate how you emphasize seeing what's really there. Not just avoiding blaming yourself when it really wasn't your fault, but also owning your own decisions and the way your choices have impacted your life. If you aren't responding to the reality of the situation you can't address it effectively. I also really like how you are talking about the ways in which people treat you after bad things happen. Emphasizing that someone is a victim and that an awful thing happened to them isn't going to be helpful for everyone. Not everyone needs the volume on their emotions turned up to help process the situation or to feel seen. It just makes some people feel worse about the situation, and it some ways it is outright telling people that they should feel terrible and unhappy and be traumatized and it's wrong if they don't feel all those emotions to the level the other person is expecting. I also think emphasizing someone's "victimhood" can push some people into that mindset you were talking about, where it becomes an excuse to behave a certain way or for not thinking about the situation and not healing by actually processing the reality of whatever happened and is consequences. But there seems to be a societal expectation for people to tiptoe around and pity and make excuses for someone after something bad happens, and if you don't do that you are being insensitive and are a bad person. To be clear, I'm not saying don't be considerate or empathize with people or to not make allowances when they truly are appropriate. Just that I think that people take it too far too often, and it's the opposite of helpful when they do.
Thank you so much for this. I've watched dozens of your videos, but this might be my favorite one. Such valuable information that I will bookmark it and go back and watch again. It spoke to me deeply. ❤
Yes I understand about the IRS. I found an accountant and recognised that my blood pressure went through the roof - literally. It is so worth £400 a year!
I just inadvertently stumbled upon a grounding technique that works, a cold shower (if possible). It brought me completely back to myself. I knew that I can’t stop my progress now until I start getting a measure of control because I started crying almost uncontrollably in the middle of playing in a soccer match. That has never ever happened to me before.
I think healing is a lifelong project....
Absolutely!
-Cara@TeamFairy
I walked away from a 40 year bad friendship 3 yrs ago
Best thing I ever did for myself. I'm 66 and I'm done with bad people.
After 32 years I ended a"friendship." It was more of a user-ship. I had it 4.5 months ago. She attempted to add me as a friend on Venmo of all places, Yesterday. I am done at 57. Me first from now on.
Same…I was betrayed 😢
This woman is saying such PRACTICAL and helpful information. It took me DECADES to figure these things out through prayer and spiritual direction. I hope that young people who had bad childhoods are watching these videos and taking this lady's words to heart because she's nailing it time after time. If you are young and hear yourself in the behaviors she's describing, by all means GET TO WORK as soon as possible. I only wish it had not taken until my fifties to make these discoveries and get beyond these attitudes - thinking that 'later' I will make all the right choices and have the ideal life; or letting people who are long dead still 'pull the trigger' instead of seeing MYSELF as the one who can choose to be triggered or not! Letting myself have nice clothes, nice things, nice experiences is OK - spending money on myself is OK. It was only in 2019 that I learned about narcissists and why I seem to be a narc-magnet - and to realize that It's OK for me to ghost a narcissist and feel GOOD about being rid of that kind of person in my life. Sorry for the ramble, but SHE'S RIGHT. LISTEN to her! Don't wait! Let your life begin!
Thank you so much. I'm actually 57 and this is a new discovery to find out why I'm such a mess. I was only afraid I couldn't heal because I spent so many years messed up. You've really encouraged me.
Yes, she makes total sense. It took me 61 years to realize. I am so grateful for the information and guidance. Thank you, Anna.
I'm 66 and just beginning to understand this!!
Amen sister! I'm 55. Anna nails it!
I totally agree & can relate in my 50’s too 👵🏼…BUT -it’s NEVER TOO LATE ….to enjoy our life until we go home 🙏😇🤍 🕊️ amen ✝️❣️
As a woman I feel I’m running out of time. I can’t bear the thought of having children because I’m not healed. And yet I don’t think I’ll be healed in time to start the process. Turning 40 this year and feeling grief in advance for the next years to come.
So much healing has happened in my 40's, you are on your way :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
Me too 😢
This is real. I feel the same.
Even not having enough time to have children because our bodies cannot bear after a certain age 😵💫.
The fact that you're ALREADY thinking like a "Momma Bear" and Concerned about the betterment of 'involving your Children' (who are NOT even born yet) speaks volumes of what kind of conscious Momma you would be to them.
Besides once your aware of where the s*it feelings are coming from, its hard not to STOP and THINK, BEFORE saying or doing anything that could possibly cause any damage..to them or anyone else.
And if your in the habit of checking your emotions as they arise, which inevitably it WILL become a habit, (Being self aware).. Your going to be a much better Momma than MANY Many Mothers out there .
I hope that I am making sense-as I read over it again, it seems to be a difficult read?. I Do hope that you understand what I'm stating.
Please just
Acknowledge the rich sentiment of "you not being able to Bare the thought.".
You are a Momma Bear already and that strength will ALWAYS protect your children, even from yourself.
I hope that you don't hold yourself back from living the beautiful, miraculous life that you were given because of what others have done. F*k them. Regain yourself. Be a Momma Bear to that Child inside. You want her to live her life to the fullest don't you? Don't give your power away.. its those butterflies in your stomach! The goosebumps on your arms, its the hairs alerting you on the back of the neck, listen to all the answers you are innately born with. We just couldn't act on those answers as children when the "perp" took it upon themselves to convince that child of something that was against the grain. You were right to feel "off"about what happened to you, your always right, Always believe in her, don't question her, she's waiting for you to let her be herself again, so that she can guide you through other People's BS AND bad situations or bad choices.. so, Build her up, love her deeply and then give her a big hug n kiss everyday and then kick her out of the house, to go get everything this magnificent (finite) life has to offer and wants to give to her, effortlessly & peacefully. Stand with yourself as a child in wonderment as children are supposed to be and she will stand with you as a woman who trusts herself ,loves herself & envelopes life's innate answers to everything, everyone, every circumstance. And doesnt question the answers your brain n body are giving you each n everyday. Take all the good life has to offer..have minimal regrets in the end.
The past is dead.
And it's been killing you too.
Be. Just be.
Human Being just being.
I'm done.
(I think I was refreshing myself with all that too..)
I hope you feel better 😊
I do..I got my big girl pants on again..😊😂
Go git em.
I really like that your main focus is on helping people get free. You don't push for donations or membership subscriptions, and you offer real help that doesn't require money - just time and commitment.
💯 some people just go over the symptoms for an hour without a grain of advice, you have to sign up to some course or book a private session just to even see if its right for you... she is very generous ❤
I agree and at the same time her paid programs are not only valuable but it’s how she supports herself. There have been times I’ve purchased a class of hers just to financially support her for all of her generosity. I mention this since I also think it’s important for us to financially support those who support us.
I feel like the older I get, the more I isolate myself. My youth is gone, I wasted it focusing on all the wrong things and now I just feel like I putter through my days in depression waiting to leave this place. Never have belonged here....I'm exhausted from trying to fix me with no real gain, only that I see it all to clearly in myself. The abuse I experienced as a child at the hands of my mother and abandonmentof my father are locked down, I cannot imagine being different for every time I try, the mask comes off and I die a little more. I'll never trust people again with that kind of vulnerability....never.
Better u ketamine therapy less than 500 it'll change your life if eligible
Wow exactly how I have been feeling . But I’m really trying to make a change and find my happiness because it does come from with in . Your not going find happiness you have to create it . Which I’m having a hard time . But I’m not going to give up and I hope you don’t give up too . Just do what you love and be your true self .
You’re not alone. I’m in the same sinking boat. But that doesn’t mean we can’t be kind to another and love another. There is where the hope lies.
I Understand! I have such Fear of Life. I had to start with..”Relax and Breathe.” 😊❤
I was just the opposite. My childhood and young adulthood I loved to the fullest, now I too isolate more. I think it's normal with aging. You are experiencing a new season for yourself. Focus on you! Not others anymore.
You’re the first person I’ve heard acknowledge tickling as torture.
Being held down and tickled is absolutely torture !!! THank you
Yes and tell them you need to use the bathroom
Anna , I just had to say thank you thank you thank you. I already have thank you but I have been listening nonstop to your videos for about the last two weeks and they are helping me tremendously. You may have even noticed when I first commented on one of your videos. I’m sure you can’t keep track of everyone, but, I am going to say it again you have a gift. God bless you and best to you through everything you do and how you help others. One of these days I am going to write to you, but I think I shared with you due to my type of career, I use my hand a lot for work on the computer designing, so it’s very difficult for me to even type and certainly not handwrite. My hand needs rest at the end of my workday. I usually auto dictate everything when I can. I am painting right now, and it’s helping to “regulate“ me ha ha, while I am listening to your videos, in this marathon of “crappy childhood ferry” videos that I’m on ha ha but not so ha ha because they are beautiful and amazing and very therapeutic. Thank you I know I have a long way to go but this is a start. Thank you no one else has been able to peg itlike you have thank you and I know you know what I mean by “it”. Thank you thank you thank you
The first thing I needed to do was to get 💯 clean and sober. I was using things like benzodiazepines and alcohol as an escape from my CPTSD symptoms. I went to therapy for years, but I never made any progress until I got off the benzos and stopped drinking.
So proud of you!
Richard Carlson's "Short cut through therapy" and Tony Robbins advocate on living in the present and not constantly talking about the past. This is important
I'm working on eating healthier and have been going to Weight Watchers for a year.. and I have lost 50 pounds and I am proud of that achievement as well as all of the model car kits I have built successfully since I rediscovered the Model Car Building hobby 2 years ago ..
You’re practicing self-love! Keep it up, you’re worth it!
That'd awesome!
That’s such an achievement. Happy to read people’s success stories. I discovered Anime Model kits this year and working on them gives me a sense of peace and accomplishments.
Ketovore Dr. Palmer could help even more ❤ all the best for you
This is so encouraging to read! Warms my heart & inspires me
Here’s what I do. I take the pause but then I don’t go back and talk about it. It is so painful for me to be unheard. And I have fear of the reaction of the other person
Me too. Same thing.
Thank you so much for making this video. I've just recently become awear of some childhood emotional abuse (covert) and the possibility that I may also so have some Childhood PTSD. I can really relate the the Comment you read, I had a similar thing happen a few days ago:
I was having coffee with a friend, we were chatting happily about stuff we were both interested in and she was sharing stuff about her life. Then later I started telling her about the work I'm doing on building my new business and immediately her eyes started to drift off.. It was an instant trigger for me because it confirmed the belief I have about myself that no one is interested in what I have to say and that I'm "boring". Instead of shutting down, I excused myself, went to the bathroom, had a cry, came back and gently asked her the direct question "when I talk about my buisness, do you find it boring?" I told her that I asked because I don't want to make assumptions about these things anymore because it causes me to shut down and I don't want to do that because I value our friendship too much for that. She told me she goes quite when listening to things being said that she's not sure how to contribute to but she's still listening. It cleared the air and we continued to have a nice time. I actually went home feeling happier than before.
You will get more respect from actions than from words
So don't get too hard on yourself or anyone if they aren't listening to what you say.
I believe she was doing the right thing there. When you think about it, to listen, we need to go silent, let that person have the floor. Perhaps she can concentrate better on the content if she were to look away from you- and just listen on... Many times ppl do that.
I'm glad you asked her after your cry, bc it turned out she was infact listening the whole time. The only thing I would watch for is how long you keep a person listening, and also if there acting like your a burden, or it's a burden to endure. These ppl are the ones you would do better to leave our of your loop. Finding someone who would mentor you in your work life and personal life is truly a blessing, if that were to ever transpire. But you don't need someone else to validate you- you just need someone who's chooses to honor you by truely listening. I think that she did.
Wow! I just recently had a therapist tell me to 'feel my feelings' instead of what I was doing, which was cleaning. 'Feeling my feelings' was not the problem, the problem was I was feeling 'too much'/overwhelmed. I am the one who decided to get back into meditation and using the cleaning as practice to manage my feelings. Mindfulness...especially for my pain management does not work and I've been having terrible insomnia this year, but I'm working on it. This past month I've been triggered more than I have in years. In my experience with an alcoholic parent, which was my father, he was never mean, everyone loved him as he was funny, helpful and the life of the party. However, his drinking caused a lot of unhappiness for my mother, who was the mean angry one and took it out of my sister and me. Luckily, the physical abuse stopped when we were teens, but the partying was non-stop for several years...for the entire family. I did not understand until I was in my 40's that not all kids were exposed to the kind of drinking that we had been exposed to. My parents divorced when I was 17 and my mother moved out, so I was left to take care of my alcoholic father, as my younger sister left too. My sister and I both grew up and married addicts and alcoholics. I'm divorced (twice)now and been doing the deep work for 6 years, which is a very long story due to me allowing my ex (alcoholic boyfriend after divorce) to bread crumb me for 3 years. I shut that down finally. It took me a long time to understand what I want, what I need and what I deserve. Just to be clear, we have a very close relationship with our mother now. We understand that her childhood trauma (she was one of four sisters sexually abused by her father) deeply affected her, as my father's childhood beatings affected him. Our father died of cancer 15 years ago. My mother has profusely apologized. I am now working on healing ancestral trauma.
Sending healing streams of grace to you
@rowanstarling3816 Thank you for bearing your soul and sharing your story. I so appreciate your transparency and that of everyone else on this beautiful, healing platform. My heart goes out to you. "Bread-crumbing"...I need to remember that. I see where I failed to be a good partner. I feel like I keep recreating my parents' toxic relationship. No communication whatsoever.
I pray that you get to the place you want to be in your world. I pray it for myself and everyone else here, reading this.
Thank you and God Bless.
💔🙏💖= 🥰
Glad to see you break the generational trauma/abuse and hopefully healing from within
The tired/collapse thing is so real 😢
I have the most difficult time listening to these videos. This video is the first one I've been able to listen to all the way through. It overwhelms me. I do have ADHD in addition to CPTSD. It just wears me out. I had prayed about where to begin, and this video showed up in my feed within 24 hours! I am going to attempt to use this in addition to the 2 different therapist I see weekly. *(I just started CBT last week.) I've been in talk therapy for almost a year because of my emotional dysregulation after my nephew and his friend*(of 5 days) were mur.dered by a stalker and I lost my peace, my job due to dysregulation, then Covid, then homelessness 3 times in 3 years. I am so very grateful for Anna and her Crappy Childhood Fairy assistants along with her experience, strength and hope. I hope for a better future going into my 60's. ❤
Pretty much same 🎉
Do you have Asperger's too?
I have been clean and sober for 7 years. I work for myself so I'm always by myself. I have anxiety so bad that I cannot be around people, and I've isolated myself for so long I'm sick of myself. Last week I decided to go to the church across the street and I stayed the whole time and ran out when it was over.. I've spent the whole week stressing about what people thought when they tried to talk to me and I started hyper ventilating.. them I feel guilty and then I feel stupid. I haven't hardly slept in a week.. before I went to church I could sleep easily at night, not now! Now I am up until 3am sick at my stomach and unable to stop thinking. I'm losing my mind. I want to change, I have a college degree I cannot use because of my own bs in my crazy head..I WAS FINE before I decided I wanted to change.. you probably won't see this and that's ok.. but if u do, what the hell is wrong with me!??
"The devil we know is better than the devil we don't." Change is scary. What if you screw up? What if you fail? But you wanna know what? Screwing up is inevitable when you're doing something that's new to you, and most reasonable people understand that, whether we got that message from our screwed up childhoods or not. And you're gonna fail from time to time when you try new things. But you wanna know what else? It's not likely to kill you. You can try again, and keep trying until you "get it right". Look; is anything worse than what you've already experienced? I bet not much is... so if you try, and you fail, what have you lost? Nothing, because that just means the situation hasn't changed for you, right? But if you try, and you *succeed*... think of how wonderful that might be. Isn't that possibility worth making that leap of faith?
Speaking of making a leap of faith, if you want a suggestion from just another traveler on this road, may I suggest you try going back to that church? I'm willing to bet you're not the first person who's come in there and panicked when people spoke to them. It's pretty common to seek out a faith community when one is lonely or in distress, and that's ultimately what they exist for. I used to be clergy (although I am sure my faith tradition is likely different from yours because I am a Neo-Pagan) but some things are universal, and I have to tell you, I had that happen in my community, and more than once. You know it's a good community when someone - hopefully the clergy, but someone - comes over and sits near you but not too near you, and welcomes you, and gently asks, "Are you okay?" And if that makes you lose your shit and cry all over them, you go right ahead and do that. I promise you that anyone who is trying to provide spiritual guidance for others has had this happen before... and one of the reasons someone is called to that job is because they want to help. There are people who do it under false pretenses for nefarious reasons too, yes... but watch some more videos about red flags and that should keep you safe. I know Anna's got a few good ones ❤🩹
You can do this. It's gonna be okay. You've already taken the first step, and that's always the hardest one. You've got this.
Suddenly, I'm making good money as easily as my peers always have. I'm way behind them but grateful.
I love Mr Rogers and go back to his songs sometimes when life sucks. “What do you do with the mad that you feel”, or “The very same people who are good sometimes are the very same people who are bad sometimes”.
I'm so glad I caught this before I left to pick my daughter up from work. I'm downloading it and I can listen while I'm driving. Thank you for everything. ❤
I'm working on connecting to others .. I actually feel more " normal" when I do connect to others...
it's how we are wired....but the 'smart' tech addictions are abnormal .......totally abnormal. I 'hate' these times
I made a list of what was reasonable to change, and started ticking things of. I've put in work, I struggle, I move forward, and as I achieve a goal I put a new goal. I started making five small achievable goals per day. Nothing outrageous but achievable, that gets me to my bigger goals. Each thing can make progress. It takes time, and patience
“You need to save you.”
Yes, it’s true. Thank you. 🙏
Now I understand why innocent remarks from certain types of people trigger me so much. Just a few hours ago ithappened again, and I just let it wash over me, that storm of feelings. It didn't kill me, I am still here, I don't need to run and hide, it's ok to stand still and feel the feelings without the world ending. Thank you!
Thank you for sharing :) -Calista@TeamFairy
I had my first (only) baby at age 43. I cried & cried because I was SO scared of ruining her. She’s now ten years old. I still have my issues but I keep it real with her. I talk things out with her. She’s kind, understanding and forgiving. She has a waaaay better life than I did. She is an amazing, smart, kind, beautiful person. I want to be like her when I grow up. 😆 No parent is perfect but it does help if you are working on healing. Hugs. ❤
What an epiphany !! I start dropping, knocking over, spilling, things! Especially when I am hurrying. Wow!
This is the second time I have felt the truth of what you have to say. I discovered your channel a couple of days ago. I have spent so much time feeling crushed by what I now realise is cptsd. I think that this was complicated by a PTSD causing event just as I reached adulthood. After thirty years I got some help with that event and I was so confused by the therapist starting with my childhood. Now it makes so much sense. The PTSD event was so huge that it became what I thought was my identity. What you speak of just rings true all of the time. It is a comfort to know that it is what's happening in my head that is the problem and that I can do something about it and it makes so much sense. I am starting the daily practise tomorrow. I don't know where it will take me but honestly I need to stop being so triggered. I need to be in charge of myself going forward because I have lost who I am and the ability to understand what I want and need from life. Exciting times.
I have completed the training for the practise and it is all I hoped for. I finally feel hope. I am so sorry to hear about the terrible thing that happened that started all of this. It is uncanny that this was a similar situation to my own. I am so glad I have found some help and that hope. I have been hanging on by the skin of my teeth for decades. Now I don’t feel the urge to let go. I want to soar.
@Stephen Costello
Loved "I need to stop being so triggered. I need to be in charge of myself going forward because I have lost who I am and the ability to understand what I want and need from life."🎯 Everything you shared resonated with me big time, and I just wanted to say, "Thank you". I am not always able to put my feelings to words. You said it very eloquently. 👍💯🙏
100% and me too.
The collapsing part triggers me. I think it’s totally okay to quit relationships to people who are not good for me.
I don't think she meant it that way. More from a perspective when it is an excuse to confront something in relationship and we just run away
Every human is different. Do never forget. Something might work for some and not for others. Ive tried ALOT of things. I do have C-PTSD + many addons. There will never be a certain way to heal for everyone since we are all different. Best way is to find the way that works for you, and you really try and fail. Never give up! And always remember my brothers and sisters: You are not alone! ❤
Thank you! You are the first online coach/ therapist that articulates cptsd in a way that is real with practical , doable steps to heal a person! I just want to say a BIG Thank you!!! ❤❤
Thank you Anna for all you do ❤️❤️❤️❤️
I have been searching for something like this for a long time. I was beginning to feel as though all hopes of living a happy, loving and normal, life were gone. I need the help. Crappy childhood fairy, you just might be my savior. I definitely do not feel all alone anymore. I just can't believe that I'm not an alien. You are 100% on the money. I'm 58 , it might be too late for me now. I'm just so tired and there is so much work that needs done. I find it overwhelming. I'm 58, maybe it's too late for me.
My focus is so bad that it took me an hour to write this message and that's not even the tip of the iceberg.
Same here
Hey there. So I'm not much younger than you; I'm 49. It's never, ever too late to make your life better. My healing journey has taken a lifetime, and just as I think I have my shit together, I discover there's more work to do... but with every step, my life has been better and better. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. Start with the learning how to re-regulate, like Anna says. Next step? What's the thing in your life that's making you feel the shittiest right now? Work on that. When that change becomes a habit and you start seeing results, work on the next thing. And the next after that. That's how it gets done. You can do this.
Thank you, at 63 I'm excited to start my journey to my healing place! You have been the first person that made sense to me on how I'm feeling! I'm soooo grateful for your channel! Thank you, thank you!
Yay! It’s so good to hear that! Thank you for sharing and good luck on your healing journey!
Nika@TeamFairy
54:00 I have never heard disregulation be described so accurately wow
I'm glad it was helpful :) -Calista@TeamFairy
The mindset that youve developed as a child makes it almost impossible to see what actually triggers you as you see the actions of other ppl being turned against you. You actually believe that people are rejecting you even if theyre not youre still triggered and you feel they do it because there is something wrong with you. I had severe depersonalization and derealization far over 10 years and the only thing that helped me to see the light and a way out was my therapist. She was an outsider, she didnt have the mindset I had so she could help me to navigate through experiences that I had percieved because she could see through my triggers. A lot of work has been done, Im still healing and sometimes its difficult to say when I am being triggered or people actually crossing my boundaries. I know its possible to break free but its a constant work through rewiring your thinking process and I am pretty sure its possible. I am still fighting and every day I feel its getting better. I wish everyone to heal themselves one day and live their authentic lifw where difficulties are percieved as an oportunity to constanly grow and feel better
It has been possible for many so why not you? Glad you are doing the work! You may find the free course Anna created beneficial too: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice
-Cara@TeamFairy
44:46 Oh my God, Anna, I have been blaming myself for EVERY mistake that I have ever made in my life!😢💔
At 73, your the first professional psychologist that can relate to CPTSD, that I know of. I believe I can learn more from you, than I have figured out on my own since early childhood. Thank you for sharing!
Anna isn't a psychologist actually. But we are so glad that you are feeling supported - there's more interaction available with Anna in the membership program bit.ly/CCF-Membership
-Cara@TeamFairy
Yay 🎉
🎉
I'm a comfort eater, especially cakes so I make my own , add half spoon sugar and use less, use wholemeal flour and or oats and fruit, make healthy cake now I don't like stodgy shop made cakes.. it's not stopping eating sweet things but it's a step in the right direction
This is really strange. When I first discovered your videos, they made me aware of my symptoms but also angry to a pint I had to stop listening.
Not anymore. I have no idea why. Couple of years later here I am again, so grateful for you, your words now feel like a blanket for my soul.
Maybe I'm finally ready.
Totally normal! So glad you were able to break through and join us :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy Thank you very much ❤️
Denial is paralyzing. Go through to ge❤t healthier
Just discovered your channel through Patrick Teagan… thank you for this opportunity to indulge in your wealth of knowledge, and heal my inner child and discover & embody my inner parent/adult. ❤️
I have found a Veteran Affairs councillor that dropped my Boarder Line Personality Disorder and is now treating me for me CPTSD I am so great full
Anna, it feels good to listen to you for regulation. ❤
I’m finding healing attachment trauma so difficult. I can’t connect to anyone. No friends is hard because it’s hard. So I go to 12 steps for alcohol addiction but still lack confidence to do anything.
It is difficult but better in a group :) bit.ly/CCF-Membership
-Cara@TeamFairy
Actually, I did not have to look at the screen to listen to you. I’m fixing dinner as I’m listening. I appreciate the fact the I can get things done while also getting your help. Thank you
I am so grateful to have chanced upon your videos- I have been recently diagnosed with CPTSD and am educating myself on what this means for me. I have lived a life of Dysregulation and Triggers for years. I need to be the person I was meant to be- calm, firm, clear. To make a life I deserve.
You can do it because healing is possible! We're all rooting for you!
Nika@TeamFairy
Thank you. You have been so very helpful. Grateful ❤
I cant believe how good these videos are.
I used to stutter and stammer every time i talked to my mom on the phone. I worked with a therapist to come up with something i could do and i was really motivated. I had a childhood stutter but i went on to major in speech and have ease with public speaking.
Long story of course but I never picked up the phone when i saw she was calling. I called back when i felt ready. And i imagined her with a chicken head. BAUCKK BAUCKK! CLUCK CLUCK. i always laughed a little before i dialed. In the beginning i had to look at a picture of a chicken. It worked and still does. You dont expect a chicken to listen to you. I apologize to all compassionate chickens.
Love it!
Ever since I was finally able to get SSDI-(Social Security Disability Income) after fighting to get it for 15 years my financial situation is a lot more stable and that has helped a lot in my healing... And I can still work part time which helps for extra money too ...
Omg 15 yrs.? I was considering applying but I’m 72 and probably have only 15 yrs. left! Js
I am 60 now and alone, no partner and sons live far away. Been in a traumatized state since youngest moved away and had total breakdown and nervous system completely disregulated to almost bedbound. I dont know what to do anymore. Body is so tired that exercise is too hard and exhausting. Constant state of fight flight. Am tying daily practice of writing. I have nobody to turn to. Feel at the end mentally and physically. Help needed thank you.
Keep at the Daily Practice and join a zoom call soon!
-Cara@TeamFairy
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy tell pls me about tge zoom calls - are those only for the subscribers? Are they at regular weekday times each week?
Sorry to hear this. I don't think you are alone. Life can be like this sometimes. I pray you can find relief and get some help.
"There is more to healing than just feeling" I like that. Your talks have helped me enormously with my childhood trauma. Thank you 🙏
You're very welcome. Glad you're here!
Nika@TeamFairy
Thank you so much I wish I knew all this before I had kids but now I know an im healing and working on it everyday to become the best mom I can be and fixing all the wrong ways to raise my kid learning about what's wrong with me is helping so much and I'm able to control myself more and more thank you
That's amazing! I'm so glad you're here now :) -Calista@TeamFairy
Noticed how after doing the daily practice (which I love and it immediately helps me), sometimes the deeper stuff starts coming out. All of a sudden I found myself crying about my mom who passed away many years ago and I thought I’ve overcame the grief. So it’s possible that I cling to daily distractions and overthink about mundane stuff to avoid deeper pain.
We're all sending you support :) -Calista@TeamFairy
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy ❤️
I’ve never felt so understood and called out all at the same time. I will have to listen to this in baby steps
You are in the right place! Good luck on your healing!
Nika@TeamFairy
I can relate to saying things I don't mean and doing things I don't want to do when I am dysregulated...
❤😊 Healing is Possible, she speaks the truth!!!
Thanks for sharing this :) -Calista@TeamFairy
I've been marathoning your videos this week, feeling understood and learning more and more about the healing journey I need to take. Thank you! From Brazil. ✨🇧🇷
You got this! We're all rooting for you :) -Calista@TeamFairy
I have been lost for so long and this is so amazing
You hit me where it hurts in this one. In a good way of course. When you said the part about saying you can’t work because you’re healing or you’re too good for it… etc… That’s me 😔. I complain all the time about not having enough money to live on my own, and my mom says “Sydney you need to work like everyone else.” I just work three days a week because it’s like I can’t handle a regular schedule. I have three “side hustles” that bring in income every once in a while (selling vintage clothing, doing projections for musicians, and managing an AirBnB), but I don’t make enough money collectively to get my own place, and if I do, it’d be a room in a shared house which I hate. I say that I don’t want to work full time at the restaurant because I’m over the service industry and I need free time to have a healthy lifestyle and inner peace, but I have to make choices. Right now, at 25, I need a full time job. It just is what it is. I’m not making enough money with the other things I’m pursuing YET, so I need to be a big girl and up my hours at the restaurant. I hate realizing how self victimizing I truly can be.
Thanks for sharing! We're all sending you encouragement :) -Calista@TeamFairy
I feel you on this one. I've been struggling on my own path of healing because I feel like work sucks up so much of my time. I've been doing a full time job that also requires an hour of travel every day, plus extra time after work to try to build up a new portfolio. All to tread water financially because I broke off a previous relationship (in which I had stayed too long, ugh lol) that was providing half of the rent. I feel genuinely burnt out and exhausted most days, so I always want to lean on that as an excuse to lose myself in a book and not put effort towards progress that day. However, I know that I'll only feel stuck for longer if I give in to that mindset. A lot of this stuff is easier said than done! I always hope that all this struggle with eventually amount to something better. I guess you sometimes have to add another rock to your pack before you can remove two the next day, so to speak. It'll get lighter eventually, but you may have to add a little more weight first.
I love Mr. Rogers!
I thank God for you Anna. Thank you for sharing everything you have learned and I want to say so much more to thank you…. I don’t have the words for how valuable these videos are to me. Thank you!
You have given words to my feelings
So helpful-I have fear of this change but the consequences of a dysreguated life of hiding and self-sabotage are worse.
im always so hard on myself for where im at in life and need to stop that. i do try with some things, not all, but no one is perfect. ive been able to help other people and kids and thats priceless. right now ive been very faithful on a keto diet and without all the sugar my anxiety has really dramatically decreased. slowly i can make some more changes. ive overcome addictions all on my own which is pretty tough. if i hadnt been so run down by injuries and surgeries i dont think id be where im at.
Wow! I'm finally at the point where I can process this information. Two years ago, I had an ending with a business client and started googling Narcsisism, stumbled upon the book, " The Deepest Well" all about ACE scores and can now feel tangible evidence of healing. Wow! I'm a Paramedic, go figure. I've devoted my life to saving people but not myself. That is all changing. I want to move on and work with adult survivers of childhood trauma probably as a trauma coach. Thank you, Anna.
Have you ever helped me!!!...I can't thank you enough, Anna. Now that you have alerted me to my reactions, my self regulation has kicked in....I can certainly feel my inner conflicts, and calmly monitor and regulate my responses while being totally myself. It has been so freeing, and I know that I have a ways to go...Bless you!
Thank you!
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy You have really found your life's purpose.....I was instructed as a child to do this thing and that...all inappropriate to me...I am writing a book now on How To Target Your Child's Natural Talents.....I did mine to GREAT success.....It makes parenting so much easier...But this is based in my childhood where I was never acknowledged as the true indiv I was....I had two brilliant parents who lived in their own worlds...I parented myself!...It continues with your insights!..Gracias!!
I have to say that you are helping me sooo so much! You make me feel empowered!!!!
I am so grateful for all of this information. All my life I have struggled with these feelings, that I cannot or did not know, but now know where they are coming from. I have made several terrible decisions and stayed in bad relationships, crapfitting as they say. Now I am free from them all, but find myself so far back financially from all my friends, still feel like a loser, even though knowing it was not my fault for much of it.
I’m in my 50’s and I’ve been dysregulated my entire life. Is it too late for me to find balance and peace? I can’t stand being this way anymore and I can’t live like this anymore.
No, it's never too late.
You ARE stronger than you think. I'm 72 & finally figuring things out. It will happen.
Enjoy the journey.❤
There's hope! Keep cycling through her videos and reach out to God! I am in the same agony so encouraging myself too
I recently found your channel. By listening to the first video about a week ago and hearing you speak about CPTSD. I never knew of it before. Everything makes so much more sense now. Multiple-times in debt, clutter, feeling unconnected, obesity .
We understand as few others can! I’m glad you’re here.
-Cara@TeamFairy
I have been home since the beginning of April with sciatica and could barely walk.
This has also caused a return to my spiritual life where I used utube to guide with some of my prayers.
In between one of those sessions, I saw you and have been up for hours listening.
At LAST! A light. Always knew that something was missing...and here you are and the answers I've always
looked for...
How is the sciatica? I had it for awhile. It was terrible. Dr's tried to force surgery on me but I resisted. I continued to pray, walk and stretch when I could and it finally went away. Wishing you quick recovery.
12:00 yes, those sentiments can be a trap. We aren’t endlessly powerful, but we all have *some* power, *some* influence. We’re not meant to give up and let the crazies stay in charge. Maybe we can’t fix it RIGHT NOW, maybe we can’t prevent every bad thing, but we can make choices
I am 38 and I am just learning this, so many things to be healed from narcisstic mother, avoidant stepfather, tarnished reputation in my job and from joining a cult😢 thank you to this video
More please😊
Thank you for this great video, so helpful. I wise you could talk more about 'the pause ' within the neuro-triggered shit-storm . Thank you again.❤
19:17 I had to tell someone that I was getting aggitated based on the subject matter, that it wasn't them. I was just reacting to something that they know I get passionate about. And I got off of the phone. I was totally dysregulated. My whole body was shaking.
I grew up in a toxic dysfunctional family and married into one worse than mine. I only lasted with this selfish, crazy, sex-adduct for 3 years before I realized he was no good for my sanity. My dad refused to let me break up with him because he would pick me up from work when my dad was fearful of night driving. Years later I realized that I had PTSD from my toxic childhood but no one ever agreed with me. I also had Adult ADD that confuses me with many disconnections when my thought or quiting is interrupted and I lose my train of thought or miss a few Seco ds if what I am listening to because the ADD faces mevout at times. Your blog is making so much sense to me so I feel better. I have also rejoined the 12 step Grow group for those with dysfunctional mental problems and it had worked as well as it did 20 years ago when I first joined.
I started noticing the past few days that I actually don’t really like someone who is a parent to one of my kids friends. I people please and fall into over sharing with her… even though I KNOW she isn’t safe/I don’t feel safe. I need to step back but it’s hard as even though I don’t feel safe the feeling unsafe is “comfortable”. if that makes sense? I don’t like it but I’m not sure how to take steps back.
I totally get it. I do the same thing. My mouth opens and I can’t stop myself.
I get re regulated from being in nature. I’ve been dis regulated for a long time. My recent relationship taught me so much.
I’m unpacking them. Changing my response in the moment. Re regulate myself and ask for time!
Each of your video is about me. I am so gratefull that I have found you on yt. You put into words my feelings, my emotions, my behaviours and my thoughts which I wasn't aware of. Thank you
I'm so happy to hear that! -Calista@TeamFairy
23:12 snap shot of what takes place in healthy ❤ transitioning to get brain and nervous system on line!
Thank you for the informational videos. Could you please post the list of 12 things I wish my doctor understood about PTSD. Thanks.
I constantly tell myself that i am cursed, thank you so much for these videos. Just found your channel 2 days ago and ive binge watched hours of them.
I relize that im the problem and i need to heal. Im 35 and so many screwed up things ive done with no real explanation when i asked make a little bit more sense now
Just finding out im autistic and adhd was abused as a child NOW! at 46! 😢 my hands dont work sometimes i thought it was fibromyalgia im working with a kid who has autism and its triggering...i have a negative affect too
This is so clarifying. I’ve had CPTSD and been dysregulated for a very long time, before I got on the right meds that regulate my emotions. I’m old now but seeing myself in the past so much more clearly, listening to this vid.
What meds work for you?
From the bottom of my heart ❤️ thank you
Gosh. It's like you are talking to me. I've been watching your videos and I can resonate with everything you are saying. I'm a 49 year old single mom of 2 great kids trying to regain my life back. I finally left my narcissistic husband but my kids are feeling the brunt of his personality right now and don't know how to help them handle their dad properly. The kids stay with me some days and I feel guilty that I was able to get out of that abusive relationship and I feel like I left them behind. This brought me here to this channel. Being aware that my symptoms are not unusual for someone with CPTSD makes me feel hopeful that our life can get better. I'm grateful for the time and effort you put into these videos and you are helping so many of us - Thank you.
Thank you for being a part of our community here!
Nika@TeamFairy
My youngest of six just turned 18, I turned 40 when he was a month old. I am 58 years old now. I just found out what was wrong with me. I have 6 kids that all suffer from it also because of my lack of parenting skills. U was invisible u didn't know what my name was, what a name was. Just knowing I wasnt crazy helpso. Im looking forward healing and living a better life
Rome wasn't built in a day, but everyday we can pick up our cross & rebuild a portion of our new lives
This might be the best video of yours yet!
Wow! Glad you think so :) -Calista@TeamFairy
Dear Anna,
I was drawn to your channel through your podcasts on procrastination (as a trauma symptom, who would have thought?) and on childhood trauma-induced CPTSD several days ago.
What you shared sooo resonates...
Binge watched several other videos since...
Thanks for your courage and immense love in sharing your beautiful heart, your story, time and resources to help others.
Your courses (free and otherwise), just like the videos, will help so much on my healing journey❤
I found out I have bipolar, so I filed for SSDI. I hate not working but am babysitting at least to keep active and help out a friend. I take my meds but feel tired when I'm not babysitting and rest a lot from the meds relaxing me so much. Thanks for your advice!
Losing myself while trying to dump my lumps! I am concerned I won’t make it and end up not really making it to my goal. Damaged in places I can’t see but I feel is overwhelming me in the now! Ugh I don’t like who I’ve become! Can’t recognize that woman in the mirror! Who did I become? Shocking I have been absent while I was doing all this work to heal!!
My friend I am not ok with the current environmental situation in which we find ourselves! I’m not one to be told what I SHOULD do like WEAR THE MASK! CANNOT DO IT! I cannot be shamed guilt ridden or bull dozed! I became a bully fighter! I don’t hold my tongue now like I used to! I speak with power and intention and zero fear! I have no shame or guilt! I an pissed now at the extent of the madness that others ALLOW! I’m not ok with their ways!! I reject it all as I feel the fall as I hear myself call:) ME
At first I didn't like listening to this site but I like what she has to say and your sincere.
13:40 the good news!!! We (cptsd/adult children) can heal!!!
We can find space in the moment of trigger/flash back being conscious... we don't have to react in dysregulation! We now have agency to buy time and process. We can solve it now because we have done the work to deal with our past while we are regulated. We don't have to stuff our feelings and explode. We have agency over our nervous system now!
I loved this video !!! Thank you for spreading hope and shining a light on healing cptsd! 😊
Great video, thank you so much for all of your help. The common quote that God will not give you more than you can handle is true, but we often times give ourselves more than we can handle. We often times add stress and stressful situations to our lives on top of what we are dealing with. Then it becomes too much.
God gives us more than we can bare so we drop to our knees and ask Him for help. It's His pleasure to help us.
Psalm 9:9-10
The LORD also will be a refuge for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble. And those who know Your name will put their trust in You; for You, LORD, have not forsaken those who seek You.
@@blisshayes5320
Yes thank you.
Driving while disregulated is very common for me. Easily triggered. So many agressive drivers. My "safe" place to disregulate. So many people's only private space.😢😢😢
The "God won't give you more than you can handle" verse is being used in the wrong context as well by most people. If you read the verses that precede that one, you'll see it's talking about temptation. The verse after it says God always provides a way out of that temptation but we still have a choice to resist it or not. It drives me crazy that people keep misusing this verse.
I really appreciate how you emphasize seeing what's really there. Not just avoiding blaming yourself when it really wasn't your fault, but also owning your own decisions and the way your choices have impacted your life. If you aren't responding to the reality of the situation you can't address it effectively. I also really like how you are talking about the ways in which people treat you after bad things happen. Emphasizing that someone is a victim and that an awful thing happened to them isn't going to be helpful for everyone. Not everyone needs the volume on their emotions turned up to help process the situation or to feel seen. It just makes some people feel worse about the situation, and it some ways it is outright telling people that they should feel terrible and unhappy and be traumatized and it's wrong if they don't feel all those emotions to the level the other person is expecting. I also think emphasizing someone's "victimhood" can push some people into that mindset you were talking about, where it becomes an excuse to behave a certain way or for not thinking about the situation and not healing by actually processing the reality of whatever happened and is consequences. But there seems to be a societal expectation for people to tiptoe around and pity and make excuses for someone after something bad happens, and if you don't do that you are being insensitive and are a bad person. To be clear, I'm not saying don't be considerate or empathize with people or to not make allowances when they truly are appropriate. Just that I think that people take it too far too often, and it's the opposite of helpful when they do.
Thank you so much for this. I've watched dozens of your videos, but this might be my favorite one. Such valuable information that I will bookmark it and go back and watch again. It spoke to me deeply. ❤
I whole heartedly agree!
Yes I understand about the IRS. I found an accountant and recognised that my blood pressure went through the roof - literally. It is so worth £400 a year!
I am learning from you. Good. What you are saying is makes sense, I can relate.
I just inadvertently stumbled upon a grounding technique that works, a cold shower (if possible). It brought me completely back to myself.
I knew that I can’t stop my progress now until I start getting a measure of control because I started crying almost uncontrollably in the middle of playing in a soccer match. That has never ever happened to me before.