How to heal from toxic shame

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  • Опубліковано 25 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 15

  • @adamcotton9657
    @adamcotton9657 9 місяців тому +3

    Such lovely genuine feminine energy that shade of blue really compliments you.

  • @whiteman2371
    @whiteman2371 Рік тому +2

    Great to see you upload Susana.
    Love and light to you 😊

  • @abby5838
    @abby5838 Рік тому +4

    It helps so much that you share your personal experiences. Thank you. I grew up in an abusive household and I agree that it's easy to blame yourself. How else would you rationalize your environment?
    I'm learning to be nice to myself. I've always felt I was a burden and not worthy here. I've improved so much over the years but have been a bit stuck lately. But man your sincerity and progress are a great motivator.

    • @susanaamaralsilva
      @susanaamaralsilva  Рік тому +1

      omg thank you so much Abby!! This is exactly the impact I want my work to have. Thank you for saying that ❤ Exactly, it helps to self-blame when we are stuck because it creates hope. Hope that if it's our fault - then maybe we can change, be better and finally receive love from those around us. Also, learning to be nice to yourself is the best thing you can ever do - becoming for yourself the person you always needed and never had. It is hard but I promise you - beyond worth it.

    • @abby5838
      @abby5838 Рік тому

      @@susanaamaralsilva Any time. Thank you too. 🧡

  • @shox007
    @shox007 Рік тому +2

    I'm glad you're still making videos. Please keep 'em coming. Your viral moment is yet to come.
    "The treatment you receive is not really a reflection of what your deserve, but rather a reflection of the quality of your environment." - Great quote!
    There's a phrase I learned from you which really hit the spot: people who were neglected, abused, traumatized in early childhood may feel the need to "earn love from others. We may feel that we need to work for love." I now use this phrase to understand and articulate own my issues.

    • @susanaamaralsilva
      @susanaamaralsilva  Рік тому +1

      Thank you so much for your kind words and for being kind to me ☺🤍🤍 I truly appreciate you

    • @susanaamaralsilva
      @susanaamaralsilva  Рік тому

      Also, that quote that you mention really is so important. I am glad you reminded me of that - I am going to talk more about it in a future video 💫🤍

    • @shox007
      @shox007 Рік тому

      ​@@susanaamaralsilva On the same subject, I fell in with a group of "friends" during childhood who often mocked, belittled and savaged me. I was too young to realize how pernicious their influence was, though one positive from the experience is that I learned a thing or two about people and human nature from interacting with them. Anyway, long after they left my life, an inner voice has taken over from them and is always with me, putting me down, telling me how unworthy I am, crushing my spirit. It's been a struggle to confront this voice and banish it from my thoughts once and for all. You've been a real help. Please do continue your work.

  • @pedroferreira2062
    @pedroferreira2062 Рік тому +2

    Thank you Susana, I missed you and your videos! I struggle a lot with shame and its dual nature… In one hand, it’s really a prison living inside the other’s eye, concerned with what others think of me, influencing directly and indirectly my every move… On the other hand, if well balanced, it’s like an internal signal for inadequacies, signaling a need for transformation and self reflection..
    Being overweight as a kid and recently relapsing again into binge eating, I feel this deeply… In one way, I shouldn’t be paralyzed in place because of my shame, because I see in others what I couldn’t overcome, because I fear the judgment I already placed on myself and project it everywhere.. it’s like people are representations of my worst inner critic..That shouldn’t be the reason I never go hang with friends, for example. But, this shame it’s poisonous, and I’m a prey of it, “I’m paralyzedly ashamed”…
    On the other side, I shouldn’t be “proud” of being the way I am, fat and out of shape, depressing at home, anxious for the future.. I shouldn’t accept that necessarily, even if that would make me feel less ashamed. That would be rejecting the pain instead of facing it imo, as you alluded beautifully. So, I should be ashamed of my perceived insufficiencies, and maybe that shame gets me to “shamge” something (sorry about that), maybe it encourages me to pursuit Health and truly deal with the problem, making me “motivatedly ashamed”, if that makes sense….
    Shame plays both roles for me, and they coexist. If any it’s out of balance (for example, by failing to accept the truths of the shame I have for being overweight and not work to live my life regardless and improve its Health; Or giving in to shame because of negative social pressure to conform to whatever ideas and reject my conscious, for instance), I suffer stupidly. Of course this all changes and mutates between different individuals and different life stages…
    Now, personally, to face it instead of rejecting it, first, it’s very hard… these reasonings only help to a degree.. I desperately need action, more than words.. so I guess it would help exposing myself in public despite my fears (not in that way..), working out to objectively look and feel better ( I can’t just lie to myself and say I look good..), and, most of all, as you’ve said it, accept it, psychologically, accept it all, the failures, the fears, the problem. And I guess accepting it would partially infer actively and courageously trying to change it.. but, easier said than done… I fail a lot in this part..
    But, I still have faith I’ll be able to better myself, as I’ve done in the past, and part of that will be due to the positive effects of your videos in me!
    Thank you for that and for all your content! I really really appreciate it and wish you all the best in the world!
    PS: Suponho que sejas Portuguesa, a nosso país ficaria mais rico com a tua sabedoria em Português, só num vídeo ou outro… 😉
    (ahh e desculpa o testamento…)

    • @susanaamaralsilva
      @susanaamaralsilva  Рік тому +1

      For me, all that you wrote proves one thing - that you are trying. And that is enough.
      Sim :))) É verdade, já pensei nisso... Talvez no futuro sem dúvida :) E muito obrigada pela tua bondade 🤗🤍💫

    • @pedroferreira2062
      @pedroferreira2062 Рік тому

      @@susanaamaralsilva Obrigado eu Susana 🙂 Continua com o excelente conteúdo!

    • @adamcotton9657
      @adamcotton9657 9 місяців тому +1

      Try and improve yourself by 1% a day