I have a strong feeling that I've been through sexual abuse. I remember having this feeling even before I knew what sex was, the problem is I have many gaps in my childhood memory and I don't want to accuse when accuse is not deserved so I keep doubting myself, but regardless that strong feeling has always been there and the possibility of sexual abuse in my childhood environment is relatively high. I'm feeling hopeless.
Hi Hannah, Nicole here from Team Lyon. Hopefully this brings you some hope... Our bodies have "stories to tell". And that strong feeling that's always been there has the potential to be moved through and shifted. Whether it's connected to something that happened or not has less importance than moving through this experience your body is holding on to/stuck in. Healing is possible. My suggestion would be to find someone to work with on this specifically. Here's a video where Irene gives tips on how to find a good practitioner. - ua-cam.com/video/04XF7ANnqGk/v-deo.html And if that's not an option at a moment, Irene's videos and free resources could help you in building capacity to then in turn move through whatever your body is holding onto. Here's the link to The Healing Trauma Series which could be a good starting point to help you understand more on your experience - irenelyon.com/healing-trauma Wishing you insight and hope. Nicole
@@teamlyon3109 thank you so much for the support and kindness, this was needed. I will definetely try what you suggested and may you have the same support in your life that you give others. You're truly inspirational.
Thanks for being here Wolf Man! Seth here from team Lyon. Yes, it can feel dangerous when we start considering our unresolved trauma and how it's affected us. Go slow, and take good care of yourself.
I don't think I've *ever* been connected to my body. I remember at 4 yo, one of my only childhood memories, praying for God to please let me feel, please help me stop being numb. A craniosacral therapist said, without me telling her, that my essence was about two feet above my body, and she was correct. During one session I inhabited my body and it felt like the most expansive unconditional love I could imagine. Sadly, I have not stayed there, but I have hopes of returning. Thank you for this.
I’m at a loss for words. I am glad I’m not the only one feeling like this. I need answers from my childhood like I need to know so desperately why every time I think about my childhood I feel some sort of sadness I understand I can’t know exactly why I’m feeling like this and thats what scares me to my core. To anyone feeling this Just know you’re not alone and hopefully I will go see a therapist and start my healing process❤
It's crazy because i have been dealing with healing a trauma for few years now, and i have noticed finding a safe place inside me was difficult, knowing that i'm not doing financially good and the future is uncertain, but watching your videos and it's been few weeks now, makes me feel the most safe, like if there was someone to know i'm here, who knows me.. Thanks for sharing your contents, big supporter 🙏 Peace for everyone going through this, it's worth it.
Thanks so much for this video. I'm currently working through this right now. After having my child I found myself bombarded with images of my child being abused. I knew it was a projection, but I didn't know of what or why. I was scared to talk about it because I felt like a monster. But I'm now in therapy and coming to terms with the fact that I was sexually abused as a child, and trying to accept having very little memory of it. I think it would have really helped me if parenthood being a trigger was more widely discussed and understood. No one told me this magical time could also be filled with so much grief and suffering
recently, a friend told me that another friend was a victim of sexual abuse and i got a flashback to when this friend said she got her “period” at a young age and had to have tests run on her. i then remembered having my “period” and was only 7, and from what i know now i know that that wasn’t my period. but i don’t remember anything traumatic happening, and i’m scared that i’ll remember it
Hey Jennifer, Seth here from Team Lyon. Yes, it's totally understandable to be frightened of unknown memories. One of the beautiful things about somatic trauma work is that we can work directly with what is happening in the body in the present moment - we don't have to connect to the story at all, and we can still heal a lot. Sometimes the memories will spontaneously surface on their own if our system develops enough capacity to process them, and sometimes they don't. Either way, we can still heal :)
I felt myself being triggered by you saying we should go with un healed scary fellings. Disassociated. I can't go there alone. It scares me. But I've done amazing work that other people might find difficult. Dangerous jobs in law enforcement. I realized listening to you that I managed those years by disassociating. Feeling out of body. Frozen. Now instead of feeling good about rising in my career, now I realized that I wasn't there, really. I've flowted above myself. That's a very sad thing to realize I've never been there, living my life not being in my body.
I only have 3 memories from my childhood and I'm 18 now. I don't know what to do or where to go, I keep dissociation and time 'skips' and I don't know how to stop it
@@WildImgination It isn’t something to be “healed” because it’s the structure of your brain which you cannot change. But it also isnt something to worry about, because with time, openess, and eventually communication, you can all learn to co-operate and get along. There are hundreds of channels and videos on UA-cam to help but the best I’ve found are DissociaDID, Multiplicty And Me, The Entropy System, and The Rings System. I really hope you are able to come to terms with everything and eventually learn to cope and function as best you can in life :)
I’m only now learning to seriously consider how I can tackle my own trauma that I can’t remember. The tricky part is sitting with the feelings that overwhelm me because it feels like I’m going to die, as though I’m on the run. It feels like I get sucked into a moment in time in the middle of running so my natural inclination is to run away too. It doesn’t feel natural to stop with that feeling. Thank you for this information, I will take these pointers and really tackle them.
Hi Aggy, Jen here from Team Lyon. It's good to hear you got some pointers from watching Irene's video that feel helpful. The ideas of titration and pendulation, concepts from Somatic Experiencing, may also be helpful here. I'll link to some related information along with a few resources of Irene's that can be helpful when we're feeling a lot in case they are of interest to you. Titration Explained: Never Rush Trauma Healing - ua-cam.com/video/Qxd8hTMUSOY/v-deo.html Pendulation: How to Shift Focus to Calm Overwhelm - irenelyon.com/2020/03/29/pendulation-how-to-shift-focus-to-calm-overwhelm/ ua-cam.com/video/0ICsbXUCKmM/v-deo.html 4 Surpisingly Simple Steps to Calm Overwhelm... - irenelyon.com/4-steps-to-calm-overwhelm/
What I keep finding, is that my experience is not unique, and that all I have to do is to power up my laptop and go into UA-cam and see what appears. It is so brilliant, hearing someone (as the Quakers put it) speak to my condition. According to a kinesiologist I consulted some years ago, I experienced 'violence with the energy of rape' between my mother and father, in my first trimester. So that's what I'm working on, and trying to keep titrating, and being patient. Thank you so much for your videos, Irene.
im pretty sure i was sexually assaulted when i was younger. ive been sexual from an incredibly young age without knowing what it even meant, on top of that i have these flashbacks about it and i also used to wake up with pain in my whole lower half when i lived with my dad, every time i slept at my mums house it never happened and even since i moved to her house, i still have never experienced it even once. i know something happened, i just dont know who, when and exactly what. that might be for the best though, not sure if i could cope with it
Hi Noah Carlisle, it sounds like you have a strong gut instinct about your experience. I want to reiterate what Irene teaches which is when you work with the nervous system you do NOT need to know what happened in order to heal it. This is one of the many great (and powerful) aspects of this work. -Jen from Team Lyon
@S A hi! a month or two after making this comment, i started to remember what happened and have talked to my therapist about it. im looking into trauma therapy along with additional support. i really appreciate your comment and advice! thank you! :)
so, I went through something traumatic two years ago...and i’ve realized that i can’t remember a huge chunk of what happened during those 3-4 years of my life. Whenever I try to think back to that time, my mind goes blank and all I see is black. I can’t even remember what my counselor’s face looks like!! ...and I used to sit in front of her and talk to her all the time! All I remember is the trauma that I experienced, and the feeling of hurt, and the depression that I was in. I recently went through some photos and some old text messages that I sent during that period of time, and that was the only way I could remember the details of what happened. Afterwards...I realized that I can’t even remember who I was at the time. I can’t look back and remember what my personality was like, or how I acted with my friends, or what I liked to do. All of it is just...blank.
Hey there lost empath, Seth here from team Lyon. This is not unusual! When we are living with a lot of unresolved trauma it is much more difficult to access the parts of the brain that form memory. This is because the underlying neurological system - the autonomic nervous system - will be in a state of dysregulation that tends to keep us more locked into the brain stem and the limbic centers, and doesn't support executive function.
I'm almost convinced I've been through a trauma, I developed very early (7-8) a deep rooted phobia that has been ruining my life ever since and I am incapable of remembering where it comes from
Hi Pricilia, Seth here from Team Lyon. It sounds like you definitely experienced trauma at some point, as that's where phobias come from. Luckily, you don't have to remember what happened in order to resolve the phobia, that's the beauty of Somatic Work - the body remembers what happens even if the mind does not, and we can work with the body in the present moment to resolve the wounds from the past that it is holding, which resolves the phobia.
Born premature: tick, surgery right away: tick, poked, lungs not working, food not getting in omg what a jolly bunch of experiences. permanent desire to flee or freeze - wow. Was SUPER mean as a child and SUPER sad and angry
I have a decent amount of memories of being 4, but none from ages 5 and 6. Then I remember being 7 and so on. When I turned 7 I developed tricotillomania (hair pulling), went back to wetting the bed, and had constant stomach aches that various doctors and tests found no cause for. I feel disgust and sadness when I try to remember being 5 and 6, but have no memory of being abused. I have small little glimpses that point to sexual abuse but it’s like opening a door and there’s another locked door in front of you. I feel like I can’t heal without remembering. I know it’s there.
You’re not crazy. It’s real. The hair pulling is a form a self harm (which is really a pathological attempt at self soothing) and is indication of probable abuse. Well adjusted children do not pull out their hair, pick at their skin (dermatillomania), chew on the inside of their cheeks, and so on. Those are signs many abused and neglected children exhibit. Same with bed wetting, soiling after toilet training, sleep walking, and lots more puzzling behaviors., If you have small little glimpses, like snap shots, those are very common with memories of abuse, especially when dissociation saved you from experiencing the whole ordeal. See a real trauma therapist, but be picky. There are lots of therapists whose profiles say they threat all age groups, and everything from depression to anxiety to dissociation, to OCD, substance misuse, LGBTQ issues, life transitions, EMDR, schema therapy, trauma, post partum, conduct disorder, borderline, narcissistic personality, PTSD, autism, and on and on and on. They do it all! Avoid any profile that seems to be a Jack of all trades. You need a real trauma therapist who should be willing to consult with you via phone call to tell you what their soeciakozed training has included, how long they’ve been doing it, and more details that a Jack of all trades won’t be able to elaborate on. Remember-it’s a business. You’d want to see the work credentials and photos of a contractor who’d remodel your kitchen. Be at least as picky about a trauma therapist. You deserve help from a compassionate, qualified professional.
Ive suspected for a while that this happened to me. Three years ago i was doing research on sexual assault to help after i ended a toxic relationship. I glanced at the section talking about kids and noticed i showed almost all of the signs when i was little. I have very fuzzy memories of it where i cant really make anything out. Idk who it was or how old i was. Ive been looking into emdr for it because i think its one of the reasons therapy never worked for me. I was in an out for 11 years and only got worse. The only person ive actually expressed this to is my current boyfriend and i changed topics pretty quick. Thank you for the video to help process this.
Thank you so much for this. This is exactly what I was looking for. years and years of all these healing practices and i keep feeling this disconnect between understanding and dis-embodying
I was born to parents who were resentful of me and unable to embrace me in to their lives. I was emotionally rejected from the get go and there was severe attachment trauma for me here. I was left in foster care for two days once a week from being two weeks old to being 9. I was also unrelentingly shamed and emotionally abused by my mother and many other adults in my life. This early abandonment and emotional attachment I believe is at the root of my trauma but I can’t help driving myself mad thinking this isn’t enough for me to feel the intensity of pain that I’m in and to have effected my life so extremely and maybe there’s more I don’t know! Would you say what I’ve been through is enough to cause extreme CPTSD?
YES! For sure Anna. I would suggest checking out some of these videos: ua-cam.com/play/PL_tIcR-r0CU75sZ1r9E7CyjAVWKSzBUfZ.html This video might be also be insightful... ua-cam.com/video/XljF770X1Mg/v-deo.html And I would also invite you to check out the Healing Trauma Series. irenelyon.com/healing-trauma Healing is possible. So glad you're here exploring. Nicole - Team Lyon Moderator
A long video to answer the question, "Yes". I for one would like to know the "how to", which is why I started to view. I found myself jumping ahead though, when that wasn't happening, but good to know it's not our imagination. If I have all the symptoms of abuse, but no memory of it, somethin's up.
Hi Deb Stein, Jen here from Team Lyon. I hear you re wanting to know "how to". Not an easy one to answer and what Irene teaches in her online programs. If you haven't seen it yet, Irene's free Healing Trauma series can be a great place to dive a bit deeper into learning about this way of healing. irenelyon.com/healing-trauma
Brilliant!!! 🙌 I’ve been in my disassociated bubble for almost 50 years trying to figure out how reconnect with the hidden and damaged parts of myself. I’m addicted to the chaos and the freaked out parts that make me feel alive. How do I get addicted to being at peace… 🤷♀️
One of the best examples and explanations of Traumatic Implicit/Procedural Memory I’ve heard thus far...thanks for sharing... as you were talking, I was reminded of the time I was in San Francisco at an APA Convention way back in 1977. I was introduced to someone there who owned, what appeared to look like a small isolation tank, shaped similarly to a pod, filled half way with salt water?, and room enough inside for only one person to lie down on their back, and just experience the sensation of floating in the water while enveloped in complete darkness inside. Although other folks who stepped inside before me found it to be a very calming experience... I, on the other hand, experienced panic after about 10 minutes of a 30 minute session, and knocked on the pod door for a quick exit out.
Possibly in utero trauma? Glad you were able to ask for and receive help for a quick exit. I’ve been with a trained guide together in a submerged water tank experience and able to release a lot of emotions under the water while easily surfacing for breaths in between screams or “releases.” I felt very safe during the experience, even feeling this is not mine but it is going ‘through’ me if that makes sense.
a crookedline ...I just read your post...sorry for not responding sooner. thanks so much for sharing your experience, courage and emotional strength in allowing yourself, and trusting the part of yourself - whether conscious or unconscious - that ultimately you’ll integrate those parts of yourself that have been, split off, so to speak. Having said that, I’ll next say...WOW! I don’t think I’d be able to allow myself that kind of social science experiment ...🤓...unless I really, really, really, trusted - via way of a warm relationship - the guidance of the Coach/facilitator... I have a few inquirers ...I wonder - if you’re willing to share - how and where you met this Coach/facilitator? do you have a link - email, website, cellphone - to this Coach/healer who worked with you? I’d really be interested in discussing this - either with you, or your Coach/healer. Thanks again for sharing...🙏🍀
Aaron Farkas thanks for your response. This was held in the home and backyard of a facilitator of connected breathing about 30 years ago in Walnut Creek CA. Not sure of a formal name sorry. Yes it was PROFOUND. You can do this- trust was established, energy moved. All good. After the round of connected breathing on the floor came the tub/underwater experience if one was so inclined. I trust my intuition and let go if I feel safe. I did and experienced in utero ‘trauma’ that is my mom was given Valium for her anxiety pre-birth with me in the 60’ thus I was delivered via metal forceps while she was disengaged. Nice earth entry! Made me the body-mind integrator I’ve become. :). The facilitator in the tub was neutral.... she just held a safe space (very important) while these feelings went through me.
@@catsaresocute650 I think they can tell the difference, weed can help you recover memories because it helps relax that part of you that panics and hides memories/feelings, even if it is technically a memory loss drug. It really depends on the person
My grandfather abused me when i was about 8. I had forgot all of it. A month ago i dreamed about it and i remembered almost all of it. It's so weird to remember sth so traumatic all of a sudden.
It can be strange how memory works Sarah. Peter Levine who created Somatic Experiencing - one the approaches Irene integrates into her teaching and healing work - wrote a book about trauma and memory (www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/252750/trauma-and-memory-by-peter-a-levine-phd/). - Jen from Team Lyon
I don’t think parents should leave small infants alone at night for long periods of time. I can still remember the adrenaline while staring into the pitch black , stuck in the crib alone in my baby room . Later in life my mother told me my dad didn’t want me sleeping in the same room as himself and my mom when I was a baby. After I started walking I soon figured out how to get out of the crib, which was a huge relief for me . It was like silent torture being stuck in that thing for hours in a quiet pitch black room. I was told I barely cried as a baby . I remember being frozen in fear , especially at night . Also when I was a toddler , was often alone in the daytime as well in our house. I remember feeling a lot of anxiety and I didn’t have siblings to play with. I know this video is about trauma that isn’t stored in conscious memory , but these experiences I had aren’t uncommon for some children and I’m grateful I can remember parts of it because it helps me have context for my life long pervasive anxiety , tendency for being isolated , and a few other issues.
Hello, I just read your comment, and I kind of relate to what you're saying. Being so scared at night, being a quiet baby who never cries,... the thing is, for me, those are not memory there're just things that my mom told me about. I have no memories of me as toddler and just few memories as child, I feel like my life started at 9 yo. I don't know why I was like that, so scared all the time, having anxiety but keeping it inside and not showing it to not bother anyone. Again that's what my mom told me about me. Do you know why you were like that as a kid ?
Dammit Irene, every video that you post is awesome! hahahaha I have binge watch these for the last 24 hours... excellent job! Thank you so much, I am learning a lot and it is also very helpful to understand how have I been affected by the traumas and joys of a family business gone bad environment. Greetings from Mexico, and God bless you.
Hi blossomkitty, Seth here from Team Lyon. Yes, that kind of early trauma and attachment wounding is VERY hard to recover from if it isn't addressed early on. What's sad is, if we can get that kid into some good trauma work as a toddler or young child (Kathy Kain's touch work is ideal for this), those wounds can be completely healed in a few sessions. That's why Irene is working so hard to get this info out there. Once someone is well established in that narcissistic behaviour and mindset it is still possible to change, but they have got to REALLY want to, which is unusual for a narcissist.
There are some trauma that I went through when I was 7.8.9. 10 that I don't remember my therapist says it could be memory blocks why does no one talk about memory blocks I remember most traumas in my childhood but there are some that I don't and some that are blocked out
Hi there Grand Master Mario. Yes, it's very common for the mind to protect us from trauma by blocking out the overwhelming events. Also, sometimes trauma happens when we are very young, before those declarative memory centers are developed. What's great about somatic work, is that the body remembers everything, and we can work with the body to resolve trauma, even if the mind doesn't remember the event.
Interesting video. I have been working with a coach, and realized that I was having some false memories that have covered up the body trauma. It has been wonderful and I wish I had found it 40 years ago.
I hear you on wishing you had found it earlier. And I'm glad that you've found it now! Wishing you insight and capacity in your explorations. Nicole - Team Lyon
@@mariangelamariangela4199 free from the mind misinformation. The body trauma and the PTSD were all being covered by a story that was made up by the people who covered up the original trauma.
Hi Barbara Fiedler, from your emoji I wasn't sure if you were serious, and from a nervous system perspective therapies that focus on memory recall can be retraumatizing if the nervous system response isn't take into account. If you want to learn more, I'd encourage you to check out Irene's free Healing Trauma training: irenelyon.com/healing-trauma - Jen from Team Lyon
This is something I have been thinking about. I was born outside a hospital in Ecuador. My mother died. Thinking about how they may have affected me. Then without body contact, I was adopted into a Swedish family as a six-week-old baby.
Emilia Sjöström, Jen here from Team Lyon. These early experiences can have a huge impact on us. The good news is that there are ways to work to connect with and heal these early experiences when we work in this nervous system way.
found out dissociation is something i do from ptsd- i also depersonalize but rarely with time gaps since i was little- literally used to feel like i had a twin that died that was a part of me and figured out that might’ve been the issue
I feel like I have amnesia... I'm fairly certain I was abused because I'm still currently being abused psychologically. It's severe gaslighting, noise harassment. I have the impression that whomever is doing this does not want me to remember my past, and this is why they are perceptually traumatizing me to keep the memories buried...
I temenbee having anxiety ever since as a young kid. My father is schizophrenic and bipolar so mental illness runs in the family. Im scared my anxiety is getting worse and maybe i went through something traumatic, i remember having these feelings ever since 7 or 8. A year ago a bullying situation triggered a lot of anxiety and depression and self hatrsd in me and now that its been a year and i beat most of it. Idk why my face gets tense everyday, this anxiety thing is killing me and i just turned 18. Im also black so there's a lot of stigma and i just want to be "strong" idk why i get sense lf dread feelings for no reason. Im really trying my best. Im scared for my life and future, im blessed to have a whole new perspective on kife but this anxiety is scaring me i just want to cry
Hey paper chasin dude. Seth here with Team Lyon. First off - thanks so much for being here. Just by showing up and learning you are already changing the course of your life and having an interest in healing and resolving anxiety at age 18 is remarkable - most young men would indeed try to 'be strong', which actually translates to 'unfeeling', which is actually a weakness. How long you think an animal in the wild would survive if it was disconnected from its feelings? Not long. It is precisely our ability to feel and be aware of ourselves and surroundings that gives us resiliency, safety, and true strength. That being said, it can be tempting to push it down and numb out when the feelings are so overwhelming, as happens with trauma, and just growing up in the world as it is, in a family system that has the issues you describe, is plenty to traumatize you and produce anxiety, even if no specific event happened. There are a couple free resources that Irene made that may be helpful for you in working with your anxiety in the moment when it happens, I'll link them below, and if there's a way for you to join her 21 Day Tuneup, that will give you more education and tools. Stay strong paper chasin dude, in the real sense - keep on feeling, and keep on learning. DIY Ancient Anxiety Medicine - ua-cam.com/video/0ICsbXUCKmM/v-deo.html 4 steps to calm overwhelm - irenelyon.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/4-Steps-to-Calm-Overwhelm.pdf 15 minute neurosensory exercise (audio) - irenelyon.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/15-Minute-Neurosensory-Exercise.mp3 21 Day Tuneup - 21daytuneup.com/
HI Divine Nonbinary, yes, it can be highly illuminating to many of us who have this experience but didn't know it was a "thing". If you want to learn more, I encourage you to check out Irene's free Healing Trauma training. In it she talks about the types of trauma, including early/developmental trauma. - Jen from Team Lyon irenelyon.com/healing-trauma
I came to this video due to missing memories from my early childhood 5-7ish and didn't even realize I could be suffering from being born premature with a twin that died. ? I'm not sure how I'm supposed to deal with this possibility.
I've probably had plenty of experiences that would classify as trauma. But i've never thought about them as traumatic. I've had 3 near death experiences. 2 of them were almost drowning at an early age while in a swimming pool, and 1 of them was almost getting into a serious traffic accident while driving a truck. I just kind of moved on. Now my emotions are repressed and can't seem to understand or relate to other people. I'm a closed book nobody can read. And i'm always suspicious of everyone. I have wondered whether some personality disorder is at work. Or maybe i'm not quite there yet. Maybe i'm just a little cynical.
Hi Games Cooky, our nervous system is designed to send us into a state of disconnect when we've been through overwhelming or painful experiences, and often we don't have the internal and external supports we need to come out of this state. The upside this is that we don't feel the pain as acutely, the downside is that we can feel disconnected from everything and everyone - including ourselves. It IS possible to change this when you know how. If you want to learn more, you might start by checking out Irene's free Healing Trauma training. There's lots of great info in there. I'll link to it in case you want to check it out. - Jen from Team Lyon
Would being given up for adoption (I was 10 days old before being given to my adoptive parents. Bio mom never saw me)) cause early developmental trauma?
Hi Dana - Mara here from Team Lyon. Yes, adoption and any family shame or secrecy around the details can be an Adverse Childhood Experience that often leads to developmental trauma.
Hey, Nicole here from Team Lyon. Dissociation can be a result of the Freeze response. Which can also impact our memory. I hope the video was helpful. If you're looking for more content to dive into this video on the Freeze response might be insightful - ua-cam.com/video/9EyqPOI3auk/v-deo.html The Healing Trauma Series is also full of great information! - irenelyon.com/healing-trauma
Is it normal for a elementary school kid to be timid? I’ve always as a kid, been unable to make choices by myself or make friends, but idk if that’s me having a trauma I can’t remember, or just being a shy kid.
Hey Hooman Bean, Seth here from Team Lyon. Tough to say for sure. There certainly are people who are introverts, or more sensitive, or just prefer their own company even though they have never been traumatized. And, all of these aspects can also result from trauma to be sure. I guess I would ask, are you happy being shy, or timid? Does it suit you well? If so, then that might just be how you roll. If not, and you have a desire to be more outspoken or confident, or want to connect with people more, but aren't sure how, then it may be that there is some trauma in the picture.
@@teamlyon3109 well when I was younger it wasn’t that I wanted to play alone, but I always felt like I’d be annoying and they wouldn’t like me. And whenever a classmate who I made friends with wanted to ditch me, I was on my own and it felt natural, like I’m just supposed to be alone. but I do feel very lonely...but I don’t want to say I have trauma when I don’t because maybe I was just an anxious kid?
@@hoomanbean8416 - well, ''trauma'' is often a misunderstood word. There are many common experiences considered normal that are often traumatic. The only reason any person would have anxiety, is because of trauma. that's what anxiety is - an unresolved fight/flight response hanging out in the system, causing us to look for danger, or anticipate danger, when there is none. In our industrialized society, almost everybody has trauma to some degree. This article may be helpful in understanding how so many common experiences can be traumatic. irenelyon.com/2019/01/15/9-common-human-experiences-that-can-be-traumatic-but-are-often-seen-as-not/
I'd like to address inutero/attachment trauma but not repressed repeated sexual abuse likely by multiple people (lost amniotic fluid, mom bled out & died at my birth, she miraculously came back ON HER OWN) I was taken home but did not bond...was raised my first few months by a partying 15 year old. I'd like to know if one can be addressed and not the other. I'm very sick and not likely to live a long life. just started this video; thank you kindly for your contribution to the wellness of society! (ps currently displaced from my home due to fire, resources and space are extremely limited) I sought out a therapist but she's simply a listening ear...please respond♡♡♡
I feel there is some trauma from my childhood that I can't remember. I can't remember any of my childhood after blocking out a traumatic event that happened when I was 15.
Hi Paige B, hopefully you got a chance to watch Irene's vlog. You're definitely not alone in this - trauma effects our memory and a lot of people with trauma have few childhood memories. The good news is that we don't have to remember to heal, and it's common to regain some memories as we learn to heal in this nervous system way. - Jen from Team Lyon
I've had some horrible kinds of body pain all my life. In the last 30 years I've discovered I was DID ( I totally integrated in Feb 2020, yeah!!!!)from experiencing generational ritual and sexual abuse at home, as a child prostitute, etc. I've found out that when my pain is over 33 percent body memories it is of no use to take pain meds but to just talk to my inner child and reassure her that these things will never happen again. I also had some MKULTRA mind-control programming and through a deprogrammer, in 1993 I was blessed to find I've learned to remove that also as it comes up. It5 has been a journey and I'm quite proud of myself as I've learned I'm very determined to heal even if I went without a good therapist for 20= yrs of the journey. In the last 8 years, I've had a specially trained trauma therapist in RA and DID. But I've been having hard days of horrible pain for almost a year now every day. I beg God for a break and I do get them every so often. I had 57 full-blown personalities. but almost 1,500 small fragments. I think I've not totally integrated these that hold the body memories. I will listen to your channel. Thanks for all this information.
Hi Mary Gwin, Jen here from Team Lyon. Congrats on your integration! It sounds like you've been on quite the healing journey over these last few decades and have created powerful healing and transformation for yourself. As far as the pain goes, it might be worth checking out Irene's work if you haven't already. Also, working with someone trained in Kathy Kain's Somatic Practice work is often helpful for people with early trauma (and the chronic pain and illness that can result over time). Irene also teaches some practices based on Kathy's work in her more comprehensive SmartBody SmartMind program. I'll link to a free resource that might be of interest and to a video where Irene talks about working with the organs (which is related to the Somatic Practice work). The video is about Adrenal Fatigue and the practice applies to healing other symptoms and conditions as well. irenelyon.com/4-steps-to-calm-overwhelm/ irenelyon.com/2019/11/03/how-to-heal-adrenal-fatigue-by-working-with-stress-organs/
I feel like I have some hidden sexual abuse. I have always felt uncomfortable around sex and my body parts. My poppa was a paedophile who I loved and spent alot of time alone with and i have had other experiences with older men stroking me but don't remember anything bad happening. I've always suffered from bad anxiety (panic attacks, freezing and dissociation) and had a fear of teachers growing up. I never understood my behaviour but now it does resemble childhood trauma. I was also sexually assaulted by a friend last year when I was drunk so I'm trying to deal with that but it's all very confusing. I don't have a relationship with my dad or any of his family because they are abusive and have addictions so I probably will never know.
HI Bella Pullman, Jen here from Team Lyon. It sounds like you have clear instincts about your experience and what it may be connected to. I do want to clarify that unwanted touch is a form of abuse and your responses are understandable. I hope what Irene shares in this video about not needing to remember the trauma to heal it lets you know that we can heal from trauma, both when we remember what happened and when we don't.
Hi Irene, I attended your workshop in Vancouver, but I regret not asking you some of my burning questions.. It seemed like you and Seth agreed with my self diagnosis of very early trauma. So, I know what happened to me and I'm taking the necessary steps. I've been doing.. bodywork for the past 7 months and I'm slowly coming back to my body. My main question is *how long would it take and at what point would I fully come out of freeze/become "neurotypical"? Do I just need to reconnect to my face? Do I need to fully connect to my lower body as well?* Most of the work I've been doing has been around trying to reconnect to my face, because I thought that made the most sense if my main priority is increasing my ability to socialize. I keep thinking, okay next week I'll become NT, okay next week. But, every week I realize just how much more bodywork I need. The amount of time I've spent on bodywork is pretty ridiculous in my opinion. I pretty much am always doing some form of bodywork. As I type this I put my shoulders back, move my jaw to the side, and breathe from my diaphragm slowly. Of course, I only do this when no one is looking. So I'm wondering, *is this going to take 2+ years despite the amount of work I put in?* Also, despite being disconnected from my emotions and sense of self, I would say I'm a big believer in things like law of attraction, gratitude, and having an abundance mentality. But, it seems to me that the people in my day to day and family believe that these ideas are crazy. I believe that there's another world.. I'd call it the world of emotional regulation. But, I know I have to pass through dysregulation to get there. I spend everyday thinking about this moment. How long is it? Would I suicide? I see it as gaining an emotional attachment to my past, social status, feeling like a loser, felling like the "lowest one", and feeling like I'm doomed to a life of suffering. I just don't know how I can prepare for the future. My only plan for if something bad happens, I would call my dad or the crisis line. I think that my NT self/real self exists in my father's mind, but not my brothers' or mother's. He left my family when I was 10 and I didn't interact much with him my entire life. I believe my mother had developmental trauma, but not my father. When I hang out with my dad now, he sees that I seem blank minded, but my mother/brothers sees me as normal, because they have come to know me as a false self, dissociated self. So I think that my father's reaction to meeting my real self would be, 'he seems normal', but I think my brothers/mother would think, 'woah who is this?' Anyways, if you read this, thank you. Keith
Keith, Nicole here with Team Lyon. I was also at Up/Down in Vancouver and remember you :) I enjoyed your presence and curiosity and the small chat I had with you. It's so nice to hear from you. Thanks for sharing your story and experience. Freeze can take time to work with and it's great that you're taking action. Is the body worker you're working with trained in working with trauma? It's hard to say how long "it" will take as there are so many variables. What I encourage is to notice what's different. How the work you're doing IS moving you into your real self. And what it like to be more of your real self!? Even if it's bit by bit, on your own to start. As the capacity builds you might find that there's a different ability to be with your mother and brother's response of "woah who is this?' I'm so happy for you to have found this work and that you are exploring and following this knowing that things can be different. I hope to see you again around Vancouver - maybe at the next Up/Down!? Wishing you strength in your process Keith. Nicole - Team Lyon Moderator ps I shared this with Irene and she enjoyed hearing from you and to hear that you are continuing on with your work.
Thank you for that video and the hope you give. I have been as you say educating myself on these subjects and processes. I do not feel as healed, but somewhere in between, where I do sence and identify and understand and explain my actions differently and deeply. And I have kids, 6 and 9 and I find I have transfered some unwanted stuff, which I recognize now. So my question is, the healing process mixed with uncertainty, how it affects the kids. Are there ways while learning myself, teaching them lets saythe 'better' ....
Hi Nersin, Seth here with Team Lyon. The biggest thing you can do to help your kids is to improve your own regulation. That has profound ripple effects that will positively impact the entire family system. In addition, with your kids I recommend supporting their authenticity - which means not imposing our own agendas for how or who they should be, respecting and being present for ALL their emotions, and generally respecting their person and how they want to show up in the world. And, of course, all that needs to come along with healthy boundaries, and teaching them about responsibility - chores are important! :)
Wow. I know I have the trauma of sexual abuse, but the memories from childhood are spotty. And I have always had this nagging feeling that i need to deal with it somehow, but through all the years of therapy no one ever brought this to my attention and so never got addressed and really affect my core beliefs about myself. The work seems never ending and exhausting. I guess if you are lucky enough and get a good therapist it could lessen the duration/years of agony. Wish I could’ve been so lucky.
Hi Joy, as you may have gleaned from this vlog, trauma can have a major impact on our memory. Many of us with early trauma have few childhood memories. Many of us also wish we'd found this work earlier, and the promising news is that the nervous system can grow and change at heal at any age once we learn how to listen to and work with our nervous system. There is hope!
If you haven't already, cut it out. This has been essential in my journey. You won't miss it or even like the taste after a while. My anxiety is almost entirely gone and I've made immense progress in EMDR since cutting caffeine.
You can speed up playback under the settings button. 1.25 x speed is best I found. It's one thing to have the ability to process words at a faster rate than a speaker. It's another to have the time to listen to the speaker whilst time is fleeting. Hope this helps. Skip to 7:28 to get to the magic phrase.
My daughter was adopted and we did physical attachment type work with her from 10 months old, swinging her, singing to her and using theraplay methods for years, but she is still adhd, autistic and dyslexic with high anxiety. Any ideas about what to do now she is 14?
look into resources like IEPs, therapy. ADHD dyslexia and autism usually have nothing to do with trauma but the mistreatment that comes with these disorders can often cause it.
I think it is possible in uterine trauma can exacerbate adhd and autism because of the fight or flight, my daughter didn’t receive mistreatment, i know what you mean about the wrong response to meltdowns etc but we took her out of school and hone educated as soon as we could see there was a negative impact. What is IEP therapy? To be honest its very difficult to see therapy making much impact as its not like she can identify any source of her fight or flight, she can barely find the words to explain why she can’t write for learning but can sit and write short stories or a script like there is no tomorrow, and its hard to help if you don’t know where the block is.
I had a traumatic event happen to me in high school with another boy, I had completely forgotten about it, till a friend on facebook recently reminded me of this which happened 27 years ago? I really want to remember what was said prior to the event, I can only remember the physical abuse that happened after the talking? I really want to remember what I said to this boy to have me end up in that situation. It bothers me no end, I can't sleep, I can't think, I get very nervous trying to remember and shake when I try to even verbalise the events. If anyone has advice on how I can make my brain remember I would really appreciate it.
Hi platinumare, Jen here from Irene's Team. I can sure understand how what you describe could be bothersome. From a nervous system perspective, it sounds like reading what your friend what on Facebook touched into something in your nervous system that's ready to be expressed. The mind often things that remember is the key to relief or healing, and one of the (many!) cool aspects of healing in this nervous system way is that we don't have to remember to heal (the irony is that often as we heal without remembering the memories come). Working with a nervous system trained practitioner might be supportive here, as would learning to work with your nervous system in a way that supports healing. If you're interested in the latter, Irene's 21 Day Tune Up is a great place to start. I'll link to a video that might be of interest to you and and also to info on her program in case you want to check it out. Can you process a trauma that you don't remember?: ua-cam.com/video/dv7lOnbk03w/v-deo.html
I had a mother with BPD and remember some trauma. I also have auto-immune issues and incredible physical pain. I also have few childhood memories. I am a Christian and am concerned about developing a victim mentality and languishing in self-pity or anger as a result of exploring trauma. How do I find a therapist who specializes in this treatment?
Kimberly - Mara here with Team Lyon. If you are looking to find a practitioner for private sessions, Irene strongly suggests taking some time to watch a video she created detailing “How to find a good practitioner.” ua-cam.com/video/04XF7ANnqGk/v-deo.html We also recommend taking a look over the Team Lyon page as many have their own practices and accept clients. General Link: irenelyon.com/meet-the-team-3/ Some other directories that might be of help are: Somatic Experiencing practitioners: directory.traumahealing.org/ Feldenkrais practitioners: feldenkrais.com/practitioner-search/ Co-regulating Touch: coregulatingtouch.com
Hi! I came back to this video (been following your work for about two years) because I have reached the capacity where in utero trauma is coming up for me. Set up for my question: When I was eight months in utero, my mother had significant dental work done, and then had pneumonia and was hospitalized/bed rest for a couple of weeks before birth. This period of time in my life has been spontaneously coming to mind, and my body has also been leading me to awareness of certain "symptoms." Specifically, I have intense, full-body cellular level pain for about 10-20 seconds when waking up from deep sleep. I have had this occur since childhood. My question is whether this could be related to birth trauma. I know that I can heal at the procedural level without knowing the specific cause of my pain on waking, but I was curious if this could be connected to in utero trauma. Since my mind and body seem to be prompting me toward this simultaneously, I think yes? A follow up question, are there any resources I've missed that cover stored survival stress when transitioning from sleep? (besides "Waking up in a panic attack" video)
Hi Virginia Creasy, Jen here Team Lyon. As you mentioned, if your inner sense is suggesting that there may be a connection between your in utero experience and the cellular pain you're experiencing upon waking, then you might trust that (it can also be a good idea to get checked out by a medical professional too if you have concerns, just to rule out other causes). I can't think of any of Irene's resources that specifically address what you're looking for, and one way we often work with this is to imagine/call the experience to mind when awake and to work with it that way. There is also some built in titration in working in this way. Seth Lyon, Irene's husband and colleague, has an article that's loosely related so I'll link to that in case you'd like to check it out. Planes, Babes & Incubators: Exploring Coupling Dynamics - sethlyon.com/planes-babes-incubators-exploring-coupling-dynamics/
I remember getting my period when I was 9-10. I was hyper sexual before that. But I don’t ever remember being abused. I was always very anxious as a little child and have an anxiety disorder. From a young age, I was always worried someone was going to hurt me and still have thoughts like that. Have I been abused, or do I just have a really bad anxiety disorder?
Anne Gautreaux, Jen here from Team Lyon. We look at things in terms of what's happening in the nervous system. From what you described, it sounds like you may have experienced developmental trauma. We don't have to have experienced abuse in order to experience developmental trauma, and possibly early developmental trauma (EDT). This can happen in response to a detached, anxious, depressed or absent caregiver, early illnesses or medical procedures, experiencing trauma while growing up, and much more. The chronic fear and vigilance that you describe can be common when developmental trauma is in the picture. I'll link to a few related resources in case you'd like to learn more. Q&A w/ Irene, Seth, & Janice. Special focus on healing early & developmental trauma - ua-cam.com/video/78Qix0D6eLk/v-deo.html The Unknown Causes of Anxiety - ua-cam.com/video/bwEowek9mn4/v-deo.html DIY: Ancient Anxiety Medicine - ua-cam.com/video/0ICsbXUCKmM/v-deo.html
I just watched this today. It is way to late for me but I would like to know if these things (in particular a broken skull and learning disabilities) have or could be genetically passed down to my children. Thank you and I will check out more of your YT.
Hi Joan, Seth here with Team Lyon. Specific incidents don't get passed down, it's the cumulative effect of unresolved trauma on the physiology, and the way it responds maladaptively, that get passed on as genetic tendencies. This is not written in stone, as epigenetics and neuroplasticity both show us is that it's never too late to rewire and change the expression of our genome to a healthier one.
I was born 3 weeks early. At 3 months developed hydrocephalus. Had a car wreck at in 1997. My senior in high school. TBI and a broken left femur. Don't remember, but think I do.
Hi Tabitha, Seth here from Team Lyon. Irene doesn't use any sort of subliminal messaging in her videos. If you saw something strange it was likely a glitch or an artifact from the editing process.
HI F FF, Jen here from Team Lyon. Many approaches and modalities can be healing. Ultimately, we each have to do our research and trust our impulses. A few things that you might want to consider are that few modalities are effective in growing nervous system regulation and capacity the way that this work (that Irene teaches) is. Also, if someone has a history of trauma, it can be important to take things slowly as some modalities and approaches may touch into too much too quickly.
I was an overdue child meaning I was inside my mom's tummy for more than the expected time/date and she said i was induced. Can i consider this as my "trauma"?
Hiya, can you explain some thing I have often wondered about? When some one is filled with anger, and are acting out their anger, in a fight for example, what happens to the angry person who blacks out? How do they keep on fighting or doing what they are doing it they have in fact shut themselves down? I had this experience when in my teens, it frightened me, because if was aware one moment when the rich began, then nothing I till I came around, obviously a.little.freaked out. Do you consider that their maybe some thing "other" going on? Like when some one is healthy and in touch with their child self, they exhibit good energy, love, a joyful spirit, emapathy, compassion, inner strength understanding, and light within to guide them. Whereas when we are in the state of being dispirited lacking the child self, which is our foundation, where the heart is, where the Light is, if that's disconected, the person is in darkness, stripped not with light but darkness, therefore they have an angry spirit, a spirit of fear, jealousy, envy, shame, selfhatred. Have you consider that when in that dark.state we are vulnerable to "other" things which exist but which we can not see? which when a individual is full of unresolved trauma, and harbouring anger, it allows the "other" dark spirits access into our bodies? Seeing as I have myself witnessed others when they have been overwhelmed by their anger as adults, and seeing the individual change into a wild snarling animal, not responsive at all. Or when someone true to kill you, and they act like.a robot, afterwards and don't remember what they did?
Hi Nikki Baxter, Jen here from Team Lyon. Interesting questions. Speaking generally, when we have an episode where we are very angry (for example) and then don't remember afterwards, often some form of dissociation may be at play where we disconnect from our experience as a self-protective mechanism. My belief system (and what I witness as a nervous system practitioner) is that often "darker" thoughts and experiences such as the desire to harm someone or ourselves indicate a held survival response in the nervous system that reflects something that's happened to us in our lifetime. These responses are often a healthy response to being hurt (the fight response which we have to protect ourselves and others) - it's how we work with and express what we feel (or don't) that can make the difference between healing and causing or perpetuating suffering. This is also the difference that working with the nervous system can make! I'll link to a few related resources in case you want to check them out. sethlyon.com/this-is-when-its-ok-to-annihilate-somebody/ ua-cam.com/video/4wdeBJ39Cuw/v-deo.html
This video has helped me so much. As I cried listening to it, my mind was freed and my body relaxed. I didn't even realize how tight my muscles were until they started to relax, it was crazy! I stopped clinching my teeth, I can wiggle my toes and rotate my ankle, I am sleeping so much better. I feel like my body is repairing itself. Now, more than 4 days later, my muscles are still relaxing. Is that ok? I am feeling more and more of my body, I love it but it's making me kind of tired. Is that ok?
Hi L Lee, Jen here from Team Lyon. Great to hear that you had such a release listening to this video! Yes, okay that you're muscles are still relaxing as long as you're feeling okay. And it sounds like your body/nervous system may have released a lot of tension it had been holding, when this happens it's common to feel tired. It's like when people go on vacation and sleep for a week because they can finally let down and realize how tired they are!
@@teamlyon3109 Thank you so much for responding and for the info! Yes, I feel amazing! I was holding on to that trauma for more than 20 years. As I watched this video, it just melted away. Thanks for all that you all do! 💓💓💓
How does the child's subconscious perceive premature birth or surgeries at the time of birth to be "bad"? Without the conditioning of good and bad, how does the subconscious judge it to be bad? Also, beyond the ego, everything is a neutral experience. Labels of good an bad come from ego. So at the age when ego isn't developed, how are such judgements formed?
Hi Maariyah, Seth here from Team Lyon. Great question! It's not about judging the experience to be bad or good. An infant doesn't have anywhere near that kind of cognitive system going yet, it is simply experiencing itself. When it goes through surgery, or traumatic birth, that is a physiological experience, not a cognitive one, and it is an overwhelming physiological experience. So the autonomic nervous system goes into survival mode (fight/flight/freeze) , and without the proper support afterwards, the system will internalize those survival energies instead of resolving them, which leads to the tendency to do more of the same when confronted with overwhelm in the future. This is what creates the trauma, it's not a cognitive or emotional experience, it's a physiological experience which, if left unresolved will negatively effect everything down the road, including the cognition and emotions, as well as general physical health, relationships, sense of purpose and power, and more.
I have recently remembered that I once got drugged by someone I knew but I can't recall what happened during the blackout. I have 2 different recurrent flashbacks related to that night but they don't take place in the same location, yet they are situated at a fair proximity of one another. So it could be possible that both happened but I find that unlikely... Does it happen that "fake" memories get created in the process? Another thing is that I am not even sure if I would consider what could have happened as "traumatic" since I can be a rather promiscuous person. But then I sense that I might have experienced fear after being released in the streets on my own, trying to stumble back to a safe place. So many questions...
Hi The Pianologist, Jen here from Team Lyon. There are different types of memories, and sometimes a memory can be more of an impression related to an experience than a factual representation of something that we went through. AND, in this work we don't need to know in order to heal. We learn to listen to and be with what arises from within, and this leads to healing and change.
@@IreneLyon Thank you for your reply and this makes a lot of sense. Otherwise I think I would have a hard time pretending to heal from something I'm not even sure happened...
I was thinking about why am I so unemotional but emotional at time. But i think i got that trauma called emotionally neglected. I've remember back then when I was little kid I got friend but they left me.i got that one girl from second grade who was my old friend,she was mad at me because I was misunderstood able,after that I was so sad about it.my friend from the school I'm in now was friend with one girl but she didnt pay close attention to me but after these thing she does I start to hide and cry.but then to third grade she start to be friends with me because the girl left her because of her new friend.me and her became true friends now:) She kinda help me how to show my emotion but I'm still unemotional. I think that was emotionally neglect I think. I guess I know why I become so cold because of these past childhood relationship. I think I know why now.i start to tell people about this because I saw people in comment talking about what their trauma was so Ifelt like sharing it. I think I know why I'm cold person
I I don’t understand what’s happening because I get this moment of like anger and then all of a sudden I can smell and then I can almost visualize the person but I can’t see the person and all of a sudden there’s a farmhouse and there’s a truck and a person is putting themselves on top of me and I’m begging him not to do it and so I don’t understand why it’s coming through dreams in my waking state so apparently that it’s throwing my body
HI Beautysoul Vibe, often our nervous system will bring things into our awareness so that healing can happen. If you have the support of a trauma-trained therapist or practitioner, you might consider bringing this to him or her. Irene also teaches people how to heal trauma by working with their nervous system through her online programs, The 21 Day Nervous System Tune Up and SmartBody SmartMind.
Hi Kat, Irene offers two online programs for healing trauma, The 21 Day Nervous System Tune Up and SmartBody SmartMind. The 21 Day program is a great place to start. Many people in these programs are older adults who have not received the results they'd hoped for from therapy. (sometimes after decades of therapy and trying other approaches). I'll link to the 21 Day Tune Up in case you want to learn more: 21 Day nervous System Tune Up: irenelyon.com/tuneup/ - Jen from Team Lyon
What if it happened when you were post-verbal, but because the event caused a concussion, you don't remember it well? I want to try EMDR but I'm not sure if it will help considering I don't have clear memories of the event.
Hi MagerialPage, Jen here from Team Lyon. In the example you gave the same thing Irene teaches in this video will apply. In this nervous system way of healing we don't have to remember as the body (and nervous system) will show us the way. EMDR can be helpful in many instances, and there are certain types of trauma where it is often not an effective intervention (and sometimes makes things worse).
If something happens to me that could be traumatizing, I usually don't take it personally in the absence of understanding why I'm being mistreated. Do I need to assign an emotion to something to find it traumatizing?
As a child , when i was 11 my mum travelled out of the country same with my dad, for financial stability to be able to keep up with my siblings and I’m 20 now and my dad just got back , i still haven’t seen my mum , it led me to either be at home alone with my bro and sis and they always went out , i went to boarding school which i was mistreated, i always had to stay in peoples house for holiday and so , it was crazy but to me i was chilling, i was a happy child and I didn’t really care honestly , 2years ago out of no where, depression hit me so hard and trust me my life changed, i lost myself, more and more mental issues , anxiety , dissociation, even hocd , 2020 was a crazy years for me especially , i was so confused because i felt there was no reason for the depression, i was okay and good , so why?? , why is my life like this?? , I’m just realizing that , though it might have felt as nothing then , analyzing the whole situation now i cry and feel bad for the younger me cause she definitely didn’t deserve that even if she took it well , she was just surpressing and felt it was okay , so it might have been that, you might not remember or feel mistreated but maybe your brain does and stores the memory. I’m finding out so many things about psychology and its a crazy , stay strong❤️
i hope you see this or can respond… i had surgery a month ago to remove stage 4 endo. i’m in my very early 20’s. ever since then i have had raging anxiety 24/7 followed by panic attacks, dissociation etc. my obgyn/surgeon said it was from the anesthesia. can you please lead me to a video that explains why this is? i had a very traumatic and stressful childhood. diagnosed bipolar, anxiety, adhd depression. i was able to feel good and conquer these up until after surgery. seems like everything came back 10x harder. i wish i could speak to you and have you explain to me why this is. will i feel this way forever? i’m a young mom. i want to feel normal again for my child.
Hi !!!!!!!****, Jen here from Team Lyon. I'm sorry to hear about the intense experiences you've been having since your surgery. It sounds like the trauma and the nervous system may be playing a role here, and if so, there a lot of room to hope for healing. If you haven't yet seen Irene's free 3-part Healing Trauma series, I'd suggest you give that a watch to help you understand how the surgery and anesthesia could be causing the experiences you've having. I'll link to that here, and I'll also link a few of Irene's free resources you might try to see if they lessen the intensity of what you're doing through at all, even if temporarily/momentarily to start. If it's an option, another thing you might also consider doing some work with a practitioner trained in working specifically with early/developmental trauma. free Healing Trauma video training - irenelyon.com/healing-trauma DIY: Ancient Anxiety Medicine - ua-cam.com/video/0ICsbXUCKmM/v-deo.html&lc=UgzKvm65Pqe9xARznlN4AaABAg 4 Surprisingly Simple Steps to Calm Overwhelm... - irenelyon.com/4-steps-to-calm-overwhelm/
I have a strong feeling that I've been through sexual abuse. I remember having this feeling even before I knew what sex was, the problem is I have many gaps in my childhood memory and I don't want to accuse when accuse is not deserved so I keep doubting myself, but regardless that strong feeling has always been there and the possibility of sexual abuse in my childhood environment is relatively high. I'm feeling hopeless.
Hi Hannah,
Nicole here from Team Lyon.
Hopefully this brings you some hope...
Our bodies have "stories to tell". And that strong feeling that's always been there has the potential to be moved through and shifted. Whether it's connected to something that happened or not has less importance than moving through this experience your body is holding on to/stuck in. Healing is possible.
My suggestion would be to find someone to work with on this specifically. Here's a video where Irene gives tips on how to find a good practitioner. - ua-cam.com/video/04XF7ANnqGk/v-deo.html
And if that's not an option at a moment, Irene's videos and free resources could help you in building capacity to then in turn move through whatever your body is holding onto.
Here's the link to The Healing Trauma Series which could be a good starting point to help you understand more on your experience - irenelyon.com/healing-trauma
Wishing you insight and hope.
Nicole
I’m going through the same thing
@@teamlyon3109 thank you so much for the support and kindness, this was needed. I will definetely try what you suggested and may you have the same support in your life that you give others. You're truly inspirational.
I totally feel this comment.
i feel the exact same way. im not sure wether i want to know.
This is very dangerous waters for me to be treading - but may very well hold the key to the answers I've been trying so hard to find.
Thanks for being here Wolf Man! Seth here from team Lyon. Yes, it can feel dangerous when we start considering our unresolved trauma and how it's affected us. Go slow, and take good care of yourself.
Brainspotting
Was it actually dangerous or just your fear response talking?
I don't think I've *ever* been connected to my body. I remember at 4 yo, one of my only childhood memories, praying for God to please let me feel, please help me stop being numb. A craniosacral therapist said, without me telling her, that my essence was about two feet above my body, and she was correct. During one session I inhabited my body and it felt like the most expansive unconditional love I could imagine. Sadly, I have not stayed there, but I have hopes of returning. Thank you for this.
Do you also have hard time learning things? I do
I’m at a loss for words. I am glad I’m not the only one feeling like this. I need answers from my childhood like I need to know so desperately why every time I think about my childhood I feel some sort of sadness I understand I can’t know exactly why I’m feeling like this and thats what scares me to my core. To anyone feeling this Just know you’re not alone and hopefully I will go see a therapist and start my healing process❤
It's crazy because i have been dealing with healing a trauma for few years now, and i have noticed finding a safe place inside me was difficult, knowing that i'm not doing financially good and the future is uncertain, but watching your videos and it's been few weeks now, makes me feel the most safe, like if there was someone to know i'm here, who knows me..
Thanks for sharing your contents, big supporter 🙏
Peace for everyone going through this, it's worth it.
Thanks so much for this video. I'm currently working through this right now. After having my child I found myself bombarded with images of my child being abused. I knew it was a projection, but I didn't know of what or why. I was scared to talk about it because I felt like a monster. But I'm now in therapy and coming to terms with the fact that I was sexually abused as a child, and trying to accept having very little memory of it. I think it would have really helped me if parenthood being a trigger was more widely discussed and understood. No one told me this magical time could also be filled with so much grief and suffering
recently, a friend told me that another friend was a victim of sexual abuse and i got a flashback to when this friend said she got her “period” at a young age and had to have tests run on her. i then remembered having my “period” and was only 7, and from what i know now i know that that wasn’t my period. but i don’t remember anything traumatic happening, and i’m scared that i’ll remember it
Hey Jennifer, Seth here from Team Lyon. Yes, it's totally understandable to be frightened of unknown memories. One of the beautiful things about somatic trauma work is that we can work directly with what is happening in the body in the present moment - we don't have to connect to the story at all, and we can still heal a lot. Sometimes the memories will spontaneously surface on their own if our system develops enough capacity to process them, and sometimes they don't. Either way, we can still heal :)
I felt myself being triggered by you saying we should go with un healed scary fellings. Disassociated. I can't go there alone. It scares me. But I've done amazing work that other people might find difficult. Dangerous jobs in law enforcement.
I realized listening to you that I managed those years by disassociating. Feeling out of body. Frozen. Now instead of feeling good about rising in my career, now I realized that I wasn't there, really. I've flowted above myself. That's a very sad thing to realize I've never been there, living my life not being in my body.
I only have 3 memories from my childhood and I'm 18 now. I don't know what to do or where to go, I keep dissociation and time 'skips' and I don't know how to stop it
This very much sounds in line with Dissociative Identity Disorder or OSDD1-a, I’d strongly recommend you look into it :)
Im 18 too in the same situation as you
@@kodi2701 please check it out it could be life changing I can recommend some videos or sites if you want?
@@Livy_lives please recommend how to heal this
@@WildImgination It isn’t something to be “healed” because it’s the structure of your brain which you cannot change. But it also isnt something to worry about, because with time, openess, and eventually communication, you can all learn to co-operate and get along. There are hundreds of channels and videos on UA-cam to help but the best I’ve found are DissociaDID, Multiplicty And Me, The Entropy System, and The Rings System. I really hope you are able to come to terms with everything and eventually learn to cope and function as best you can in life :)
I’m only now learning to seriously consider how I can tackle my own trauma that I can’t remember. The tricky part is sitting with the feelings that overwhelm me because it feels like I’m going to die, as though I’m on the run. It feels like I get sucked into a moment in time in the middle of running so my natural inclination is to run away too. It doesn’t feel natural to stop with that feeling. Thank you for this information, I will take these pointers and really tackle them.
Hi Aggy, Jen here from Team Lyon. It's good to hear you got some pointers from watching Irene's video that feel helpful. The ideas of titration and pendulation, concepts from Somatic Experiencing, may also be helpful here. I'll link to some related information along with a few resources of Irene's that can be helpful when we're feeling a lot in case they are of interest to you.
Titration Explained: Never Rush Trauma Healing - ua-cam.com/video/Qxd8hTMUSOY/v-deo.html
Pendulation: How to Shift Focus to Calm Overwhelm - irenelyon.com/2020/03/29/pendulation-how-to-shift-focus-to-calm-overwhelm/
ua-cam.com/video/0ICsbXUCKmM/v-deo.html
4 Surpisingly Simple Steps to Calm Overwhelm... - irenelyon.com/4-steps-to-calm-overwhelm/
My dad passed away when I was a little over a year old I feel it has impacted me to this day. Haven't addressed it in therapy. Thank you so much.
What I keep finding, is that my experience is not unique, and that all I have to do is to power up my laptop and go into UA-cam and see what appears. It is so brilliant, hearing someone (as the Quakers put it) speak to my condition. According to a kinesiologist I consulted some years ago, I experienced 'violence with the energy of rape' between my mother and father, in my first trimester. So that's what I'm working on, and trying to keep titrating, and being patient. Thank you so much for your videos, Irene.
im pretty sure i was sexually assaulted when i was younger. ive been sexual from an incredibly young age without knowing what it even meant, on top of that i have these flashbacks about it and i also used to wake up with pain in my whole lower half when i lived with my dad, every time i slept at my mums house it never happened and even since i moved to her house, i still have never experienced it even once. i know something happened, i just dont know who, when and exactly what. that might be for the best though, not sure if i could cope with it
Hi Noah Carlisle, it sounds like you have a strong gut instinct about your experience. I want to reiterate what Irene teaches which is when you work with the nervous system you do NOT need to know what happened in order to heal it. This is one of the many great (and powerful) aspects of this work.
-Jen from Team Lyon
Same
I feel the same. Did you ever feel off about someone in your family? like felt weird around someone in particular?
@@graveraider1029 yes, specifically my dad
@S A hi! a month or two after making this comment, i started to remember what happened and have talked to my therapist about it. im looking into trauma therapy along with additional support. i really appreciate your comment and advice! thank you! :)
so, I went through something traumatic two years ago...and i’ve realized that i can’t remember a huge chunk of what happened during those 3-4 years of my life. Whenever I try to think back to that time, my mind goes blank and all I see is black. I can’t even remember what my counselor’s face looks like!! ...and I used to sit in front of her and talk to her all the time! All I remember is the trauma that I experienced, and the feeling of hurt, and the depression that I was in.
I recently went through some photos and some old text messages that I sent during that period of time, and that was the only way I could remember the details of what happened.
Afterwards...I realized that I can’t even remember who I was at the time. I can’t look back and remember what my personality was like, or how I acted with my friends, or what I liked to do. All of it is just...blank.
Hey there lost empath, Seth here from team Lyon. This is not unusual! When we are living with a lot of unresolved trauma it is much more difficult to access the parts of the brain that form memory. This is because the underlying neurological system - the autonomic nervous system - will be in a state of dysregulation that tends to keep us more locked into the brain stem and the limbic centers, and doesn't support executive function.
Try EMDR
I'm almost convinced I've been through a trauma, I developed very early (7-8) a deep rooted phobia that has been ruining my life ever since and I am incapable of remembering where it comes from
Hi Pricilia, Seth here from Team Lyon. It sounds like you definitely experienced trauma at some point, as that's where phobias come from. Luckily, you don't have to remember what happened in order to resolve the phobia, that's the beauty of Somatic Work - the body remembers what happens even if the mind does not, and we can work with the body in the present moment to resolve the wounds from the past that it is holding, which resolves the phobia.
Seperation from a parent is traumatic as well
This video was helpful, especially when you talked about not rushing through the work, that it can take weeks, years.
Born premature: tick, surgery right away: tick, poked, lungs not working, food not getting in omg what a jolly bunch of experiences. permanent desire to flee or freeze - wow. Was SUPER mean as a child and SUPER sad and angry
Just found you and can’t wait to hear more!😊
I have a decent amount of memories of being 4, but none from ages 5 and 6. Then I remember being 7 and so on. When I turned 7 I developed tricotillomania (hair pulling), went back to wetting the bed, and had constant stomach aches that various doctors and tests found no cause for. I feel disgust and sadness when I try to remember being 5 and 6, but have no memory of being abused. I have small little glimpses that point to sexual abuse but it’s like opening a door and there’s another locked door in front of you. I feel like I can’t heal without remembering. I know it’s there.
You’re not crazy. It’s real. The hair pulling is a form a self harm (which is really a pathological attempt at self soothing) and is indication of probable abuse. Well adjusted children do not pull out their hair, pick at their skin (dermatillomania), chew on the inside of their cheeks, and so on. Those are signs many abused and neglected children exhibit. Same with bed wetting, soiling after toilet training, sleep walking, and lots more puzzling behaviors.,
If you have small little glimpses, like snap shots, those are very common with memories of abuse, especially when dissociation saved you from experiencing the whole ordeal.
See a real trauma therapist, but be picky. There are lots of therapists whose profiles say they threat all age groups, and everything from depression to anxiety to dissociation, to OCD, substance misuse, LGBTQ issues, life transitions, EMDR, schema therapy, trauma, post partum, conduct disorder, borderline, narcissistic personality, PTSD, autism, and on and on and on. They do it all!
Avoid any profile that seems to be a Jack of all trades. You need a real trauma therapist who should be willing to consult with you via phone call to tell you what their soeciakozed training has included, how long they’ve been doing it, and more details that a Jack of all trades won’t be able to elaborate on.
Remember-it’s a business. You’d want to see the work credentials and photos of a contractor who’d remodel your kitchen. Be at least as picky about a trauma therapist. You deserve help from a compassionate, qualified professional.
Oh wow, sounds a lot like me.
Ive suspected for a while that this happened to me. Three years ago i was doing research on sexual assault to help after i ended a toxic relationship. I glanced at the section talking about kids and noticed i showed almost all of the signs when i was little. I have very fuzzy memories of it where i cant really make anything out. Idk who it was or how old i was. Ive been looking into emdr for it because i think its one of the reasons therapy never worked for me. I was in an out for 11 years and only got worse.
The only person ive actually expressed this to is my current boyfriend and i changed topics pretty quick. Thank you for the video to help process this.
EMDR with great psychologist really helped me with that. It works.
Thank you so much for this. This is exactly what I was looking for. years and years of all these healing practices and i keep feeling this disconnect between understanding and dis-embodying
I was born to parents who were resentful of me and unable to embrace me in to their lives. I was emotionally rejected from the get go and there was severe attachment trauma for me here. I was left in foster care for two days once a week from being two weeks old to being 9. I was also unrelentingly shamed and emotionally abused by my mother and many other adults in my life. This early abandonment and emotional attachment I believe is at the root of my trauma but I can’t help driving myself mad thinking this isn’t enough for me to feel the intensity of pain that I’m in and to have effected my life so extremely and maybe there’s more I don’t know! Would you say what I’ve been through is enough to cause extreme CPTSD?
YES! For sure Anna.
I would suggest checking out some of these videos:
ua-cam.com/play/PL_tIcR-r0CU75sZ1r9E7CyjAVWKSzBUfZ.html
This video might be also be insightful...
ua-cam.com/video/XljF770X1Mg/v-deo.html
And I would also invite you to check out the Healing Trauma Series.
irenelyon.com/healing-trauma
Healing is possible. So glad you're here exploring.
Nicole - Team Lyon Moderator
You’ve been traumatized terribly. I’m so sorry. I pray you will be completely restored in every way!
Sending you ❤️❤️
My mom was in labor from Friday to Monday trying to deliver me. I think that explains why I frequently dream of getting trapped in tunnels,
Thank you for your work Dr. and this great information !
You are a beautiful person who just gave me the advice I’ve been looking for that could entirely change/save my life! Thank you for this 🙏🏽💙
A long video to answer the question, "Yes". I for one would like to know the "how to", which is why I started to view. I found myself jumping ahead though, when that wasn't happening, but good to know it's not our imagination. If I have all the symptoms of abuse, but no memory of it, somethin's up.
Hi Deb Stein, Jen here from Team Lyon. I hear you re wanting to know "how to". Not an easy one to answer and what Irene teaches in her online programs. If you haven't seen it yet, Irene's free Healing Trauma series can be a great place to dive a bit deeper into learning about this way of healing.
irenelyon.com/healing-trauma
Excellent video. So helpful. I am gradually coming to understand what is going on with me (and in me) and how I can heal. I cannot thank you enough.
Thank you.
This video and the information you've shared has been so helpful.
Thanks so much Irene. Appreciate your wisdom. 🙏Currently an SE student and been working with SE therapist the past couple years.
.... I think I used to say to myself, "I'm coming back now." ....! Didn't remember that.
Oh wow!!! What a thing to remember!!!
Peter Levine is an amazing practitioner!!
Dissociation can feel so normal
Brilliant!!! 🙌 I’ve been in my disassociated bubble for almost 50 years trying to figure out how reconnect with the hidden and damaged parts of myself. I’m addicted to the chaos and the freaked out parts that make me feel alive. How do I get addicted to being at peace… 🤷♀️
One of the best examples and explanations of Traumatic Implicit/Procedural Memory I’ve heard thus far...thanks for sharing...
as you were talking, I was reminded of the time I was in San Francisco at an APA Convention way back
in 1977.
I was introduced to someone there who owned, what appeared to look like a small isolation tank, shaped similarly to a pod, filled half way with salt water?, and room enough inside for only one person to lie down on their back, and just experience the sensation of floating in the water
while enveloped in complete darkness inside.
Although other folks who stepped inside before me found it to be a very calming experience...
I, on the other hand, experienced panic after about 10 minutes of a 30 minute session, and knocked on the pod door for a quick exit out.
Thanks for watching and sharing your experience Aaron. I'm glad to hear you knocked and got out of that pod!
Nicole - Team Lyon Moderator
Possibly in utero trauma? Glad you were able to ask for and receive help for a quick exit. I’ve been with a trained guide together in a submerged water tank experience and able to release a lot of emotions under the water while easily surfacing for breaths in between screams or “releases.” I felt very safe during the experience, even feeling this is not mine but it is going ‘through’ me if that makes sense.
Irene Lyon ...thanks for your comment...I was even more glad when I stepped out...😊🙏
a crookedline ...I just read your post...sorry for not responding sooner.
thanks so much for sharing your experience, courage and emotional strength in allowing yourself, and trusting the part of yourself - whether conscious or unconscious - that ultimately you’ll integrate those parts of yourself that have been, split off, so to speak.
Having said that, I’ll next say...WOW!
I don’t think I’d be able
to allow myself that kind of social science experiment ...🤓...unless I really, really, really, trusted - via way of a warm relationship - the guidance of the Coach/facilitator...
I have a few inquirers ...I wonder - if you’re willing to share - how and where you met this Coach/facilitator?
do you have a link - email, website, cellphone -
to this Coach/healer who worked with you?
I’d really be interested in discussing this - either with you, or your Coach/healer.
Thanks again for sharing...🙏🍀
Aaron Farkas thanks for your response. This was held in the home and backyard of a facilitator of connected breathing about 30 years ago in Walnut Creek CA. Not sure of a formal name sorry. Yes it was PROFOUND. You can do this- trust was established, energy moved. All good. After the round of connected breathing on the floor came the tub/underwater experience if one was so inclined. I trust my intuition and let go if I feel safe. I did and experienced in utero ‘trauma’ that is my mom was given Valium for her anxiety pre-birth with me in the 60’ thus I was delivered via metal forceps while she was disengaged. Nice earth entry! Made me the body-mind integrator I’ve become. :). The facilitator in the tub was neutral.... she just held a safe space (very important) while these feelings went through me.
I got diagnosed with PTSD and I used to smoke weed and I then would remember lost memorys
That's called a hallucination, not a memory
So its not just me? Maybe it has to do with dopamine(the learning chemical)release, and the thc igniting unassessed parts of your memory.
Marijuana does not make you hallucinate
@@mrs.harris933 it does
@@catsaresocute650 I think they can tell the difference, weed can help you recover memories because it helps relax that part of you that panics and hides memories/feelings, even if it is technically a memory loss drug. It really depends on the person
Good to see you again, Irene. I think this video found me 🌻🌻🌻
My grandfather abused me when i was about 8. I had forgot all of it. A month ago i dreamed about it and i remembered almost all of it. It's so weird to remember sth so traumatic all of a sudden.
It can be strange how memory works Sarah. Peter Levine who created Somatic Experiencing - one the approaches Irene integrates into her teaching and healing work - wrote a book about trauma and memory (www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/252750/trauma-and-memory-by-peter-a-levine-phd/). - Jen from Team Lyon
I didn't remember any of my sexual abuse till I was 38 yrs old. I'm 68 now! It is worth the journey to heal! Bless you!
@@franciegwin :')) tnx
Try EMDR
“I am real, I am alive, this is my body” peter levine (many exercises in his books which I found very helpful)
I don’t think parents should leave small infants alone at night for long periods of time. I can still remember the adrenaline while staring into the pitch black , stuck in the crib alone in my baby room . Later in life my mother told me my dad didn’t want me sleeping in the same room as himself and my mom when I was a baby. After I started walking I soon figured out how to get out of the crib, which was a huge relief for me . It was like silent torture being stuck in that thing for hours in a quiet pitch black room. I was told I barely cried as a baby . I remember being frozen in fear , especially at night . Also when I was a toddler , was often alone in the daytime as well in our house. I remember feeling a lot of anxiety and I didn’t have siblings to play with.
I know this video is about trauma that isn’t stored in conscious memory , but these experiences I had aren’t uncommon for some children and I’m grateful I can remember parts of it because it helps me have context for my life long pervasive anxiety , tendency for being isolated , and a few other issues.
Hello, I just read your comment, and I kind of relate to what you're saying. Being so scared at night, being a quiet baby who never cries,... the thing is, for me, those are not memory there're just things that my mom told me about. I have no memories of me as toddler and just few memories as child, I feel like my life started at 9 yo.
I don't know why I was like that, so scared all the time, having anxiety but keeping it inside and not showing it to not bother anyone. Again that's what my mom told me about me.
Do you know why you were like that as a kid ?
Dammit Irene, every video that you post is awesome! hahahaha I have binge watch these for the last 24 hours... excellent job! Thank you so much, I am learning a lot and it is also very helpful to understand how have I been affected by the traumas and joys of a family business gone bad environment. Greetings from Mexico, and God bless you.
I have known a lot of messed up narcissists that were in hospitals on their own after birth. It destroyed something in their psyche for life
Hi blossomkitty, Seth here from Team Lyon. Yes, that kind of early trauma and attachment wounding is VERY hard to recover from if it isn't addressed early on. What's sad is, if we can get that kid into some good trauma work as a toddler or young child (Kathy Kain's touch work is ideal for this), those wounds can be completely healed in a few sessions. That's why Irene is working so hard to get this info out there. Once someone is well established in that narcissistic behaviour and mindset it is still possible to change, but they have got to REALLY want to, which is unusual for a narcissist.
I really want to.
There are some trauma that I went through when I was 7.8.9. 10 that I don't remember my therapist says it could be memory blocks why does no one talk about memory blocks I remember most traumas in my childhood but there are some that I don't and some that are blocked out
Hi there Grand Master Mario. Yes, it's very common for the mind to protect us from trauma by blocking out the overwhelming events. Also, sometimes trauma happens when we are very young, before those declarative memory centers are developed. What's great about somatic work, is that the body remembers everything, and we can work with the body to resolve trauma, even if the mind doesn't remember the event.
Interesting video. I have been working with a coach, and realized that I was having some false memories that have covered up the body trauma. It has been wonderful and I wish I had found it 40 years ago.
I hear you on wishing you had found it earlier. And I'm glad that you've found it now!
Wishing you insight and capacity in your explorations.
Nicole - Team Lyon
What do you mean with "It has been wonderful"? Are you free now?
@@mariangelamariangela4199 free from the mind misinformation. The body trauma and the PTSD were all being covered by a story that was made up by the people who covered up the original trauma.
This video is really informative. Thanks a lot! Gonna grab that book soon and add it to my growing trauma-related shelf 😅
Hmmm...maybe its time for me to go to therapy and figure out what the heck im repressing 😂
Hi Barbara Fiedler, from your emoji I wasn't sure if you were serious, and from a nervous system perspective therapies that focus on memory recall can be retraumatizing if the nervous system response isn't take into account. If you want to learn more, I'd encourage you to check out Irene's free Healing Trauma training: irenelyon.com/healing-trauma
- Jen from Team Lyon
This is something I have been thinking about. I was born outside a hospital in Ecuador. My mother died. Thinking about how they may have affected me. Then without body contact, I was adopted into a Swedish family as a six-week-old baby.
Emilia Sjöström, Jen here from Team Lyon. These early experiences can have a huge impact on us. The good news is that there are ways to work to connect with and heal these early experiences when we work in this nervous system way.
It took 7 years to get the voice of my childhood abuser out of my head. At lest that's when I realized it was gone for good.
7 years?
How did you heal it?
found out dissociation is something i do from ptsd- i also depersonalize but rarely with time gaps since i was little- literally used to feel like i had a twin that died that was a part of me and figured out that might’ve been the issue
I feel like I have amnesia... I'm fairly certain I was abused because I'm still currently being abused psychologically. It's severe gaslighting, noise harassment. I have the impression that whomever is doing this does not want me to remember my past, and this is why they are perceptually traumatizing me to keep the memories buried...
Your a excelent teacher ms Lyon. Thank you!
I temenbee having anxiety ever since as a young kid. My father is schizophrenic and bipolar so mental illness runs in the family. Im scared my anxiety is getting worse and maybe i went through something traumatic, i remember having these feelings ever since 7 or 8. A year ago a bullying situation triggered a lot of anxiety and depression and self hatrsd in me and now that its been a year and i beat most of it. Idk why my face gets tense everyday, this anxiety thing is killing me and i just turned 18. Im also black so there's a lot of stigma and i just want to be "strong" idk why i get sense lf dread feelings for no reason. Im really trying my best. Im scared for my life and future, im blessed to have a whole new perspective on kife but this anxiety is scaring me i just want to cry
Hey paper chasin dude. Seth here with Team Lyon. First off - thanks so much for being here. Just by showing up and learning you are already changing the course of your life and having an interest in healing and resolving anxiety at age 18 is remarkable - most young men would indeed try to 'be strong', which actually translates to 'unfeeling', which is actually a weakness. How long you think an animal in the wild would survive if it was disconnected from its feelings? Not long. It is precisely our ability to feel and be aware of ourselves and surroundings that gives us resiliency, safety, and true strength. That being said, it can be tempting to push it down and numb out when the feelings are so overwhelming, as happens with trauma, and just growing up in the world as it is, in a family system that has the issues you describe, is plenty to traumatize you and produce anxiety, even if no specific event happened. There are a couple free resources that Irene made that may be helpful for you in working with your anxiety in the moment when it happens, I'll link them below, and if there's a way for you to join her 21 Day Tuneup, that will give you more education and tools. Stay strong paper chasin dude, in the real sense - keep on feeling, and keep on learning.
DIY Ancient Anxiety Medicine - ua-cam.com/video/0ICsbXUCKmM/v-deo.html
4 steps to calm overwhelm - irenelyon.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/4-Steps-to-Calm-Overwhelm.pdf
15 minute neurosensory exercise (audio) - irenelyon.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/15-Minute-Neurosensory-Exercise.mp3
21 Day Tuneup - 21daytuneup.com/
Thanks for posting this
you are a beautiful soul!
Omg literally was talking to my mentors like I cant verbalize it its pre-verbal. Who knew its an actual name for it
HI Divine Nonbinary, yes, it can be highly illuminating to many of us who have this experience but didn't know it was a "thing". If you want to learn more, I encourage you to check out Irene's free Healing Trauma training. In it she talks about the types of trauma, including early/developmental trauma. - Jen from Team Lyon
irenelyon.com/healing-trauma
Millions of love❤
I came to this video due to missing memories from my early childhood 5-7ish and didn't even realize I could be suffering from being born premature with a twin that died. ? I'm not sure how I'm supposed to deal with this possibility.
I've probably had plenty of experiences that would classify as trauma. But i've never thought about them as traumatic. I've had 3 near death experiences. 2 of them were almost drowning at an early age while in a swimming pool, and 1 of them was almost getting into a serious traffic accident while driving a truck.
I just kind of moved on. Now my emotions are repressed and can't seem to understand or relate to other people. I'm a closed book nobody can read. And i'm always suspicious of everyone. I have wondered whether some personality disorder is at work. Or maybe i'm not quite there yet. Maybe i'm just a little cynical.
Hi Games Cooky, our nervous system is designed to send us into a state of disconnect when we've been through overwhelming or painful experiences, and often we don't have the internal and external supports we need to come out of this state. The upside this is that we don't feel the pain as acutely, the downside is that we can feel disconnected from everything and everyone - including ourselves.
It IS possible to change this when you know how. If you want to learn more, you might start by checking out Irene's free Healing Trauma training. There's lots of great info in there. I'll link to it in case you want to check it out. - Jen from Team Lyon
Would being given up for adoption (I was 10 days old before being given to my adoptive parents. Bio mom never saw me)) cause early developmental trauma?
Hi Dana - Mara here from Team Lyon. Yes, adoption and any family shame or secrecy around the details can be an Adverse Childhood Experience that often leads to developmental trauma.
I was diagnosed with a dissociative disorder but I can’t remember any trauma
Hey,
Nicole here from Team Lyon.
Dissociation can be a result of the Freeze response. Which can also impact our memory.
I hope the video was helpful. If you're looking for more content to dive into this video on the Freeze response might be insightful - ua-cam.com/video/9EyqPOI3auk/v-deo.html
The Healing Trauma Series is also full of great information! - irenelyon.com/healing-trauma
@@teamlyon3109 thanks :)
@jekdbuwid budkdvwu yeah tbh if i have any trauma i just prefer not knowing cause i dont think i could handel it.
Is it normal for a elementary school kid to be timid? I’ve always as a kid, been unable to make choices by myself or make friends, but idk if that’s me having a trauma I can’t remember, or just being a shy kid.
Hey Hooman Bean, Seth here from Team Lyon. Tough to say for sure. There certainly are people who are introverts, or more sensitive, or just prefer their own company even though they have never been traumatized. And, all of these aspects can also result from trauma to be sure. I guess I would ask, are you happy being shy, or timid? Does it suit you well? If so, then that might just be how you roll. If not, and you have a desire to be more outspoken or confident, or want to connect with people more, but aren't sure how, then it may be that there is some trauma in the picture.
@@teamlyon3109 well when I was younger it wasn’t that I wanted to play alone, but I always felt like I’d be annoying and they wouldn’t like me. And whenever a classmate who I made friends with wanted to ditch me, I was on my own and it felt natural, like I’m just supposed to be alone. but I do feel very lonely...but I don’t want to say I have trauma when I don’t because maybe I was just an anxious kid?
@@hoomanbean8416 - well, ''trauma'' is often a misunderstood word. There are many common experiences considered normal that are often traumatic. The only reason any person would have anxiety, is because of trauma. that's what anxiety is - an unresolved fight/flight response hanging out in the system, causing us to look for danger, or anticipate danger, when there is none. In our industrialized society, almost everybody has trauma to some degree.
This article may be helpful in understanding how so many common experiences can be traumatic. irenelyon.com/2019/01/15/9-common-human-experiences-that-can-be-traumatic-but-are-often-seen-as-not/
I'd like to address inutero/attachment trauma but not repressed repeated sexual abuse likely by multiple people (lost amniotic fluid, mom bled out & died at my birth, she miraculously came back ON HER OWN) I was taken home but did not bond...was raised my first few months by a partying 15 year old. I'd like to know if one can be addressed and not the other. I'm very sick and not likely to live a long life. just started this video; thank you kindly for your contribution to the wellness of society! (ps currently displaced from my home due to fire, resources and space are extremely limited) I sought out a therapist but she's simply a listening ear...please respond♡♡♡
I feel there is some trauma from my childhood that I can't remember. I can't remember any of my childhood after blocking out a traumatic event that happened when I was 15.
Hi Paige B, hopefully you got a chance to watch Irene's vlog. You're definitely not alone in this - trauma effects our memory and a lot of people with trauma have few childhood memories. The good news is that we don't have to remember to heal, and it's common to regain some memories as we learn to heal in this nervous system way. - Jen from Team Lyon
Try EMDR
Thank you so much for this information 💕
I've had some horrible kinds of body pain all my life. In the last 30 years I've discovered I was DID ( I totally integrated in Feb 2020, yeah!!!!)from experiencing generational ritual and sexual abuse at home, as a child prostitute, etc. I've found out that when my pain is over 33 percent body memories it is of no use to take pain meds but to just talk to my inner child and reassure her that these things will never happen again. I also had some MKULTRA mind-control programming and through a deprogrammer, in 1993 I was blessed to find I've learned to remove that also as it comes up. It5 has been a journey and I'm quite proud of myself as I've learned I'm very determined to heal even if I went without a good therapist for 20= yrs of the journey. In the last 8 years, I've had a specially trained trauma therapist in RA and DID. But I've been having hard days of horrible pain for almost a year now every day. I beg God for a break and I do get them every so often. I had 57 full-blown personalities. but almost 1,500 small fragments. I think I've not totally integrated these that hold the body memories. I will listen to your channel. Thanks for all this information.
Hi Mary Gwin, Jen here from Team Lyon. Congrats on your integration! It sounds like you've been on quite the healing journey over these last few decades and have created powerful healing and transformation for yourself.
As far as the pain goes, it might be worth checking out Irene's work if you haven't already. Also, working with someone trained in Kathy Kain's Somatic Practice work is often helpful for people with early trauma (and the chronic pain and illness that can result over time). Irene also teaches some practices based on Kathy's work in her more comprehensive SmartBody SmartMind program.
I'll link to a free resource that might be of interest and to a video where Irene talks about working with the organs (which is related to the Somatic Practice work). The video is about Adrenal Fatigue and the practice applies to healing other symptoms and conditions as well.
irenelyon.com/4-steps-to-calm-overwhelm/
irenelyon.com/2019/11/03/how-to-heal-adrenal-fatigue-by-working-with-stress-organs/
I feel like I have some hidden sexual abuse. I have always felt uncomfortable around sex and my body parts. My poppa was a paedophile who I loved and spent alot of time alone with and i have had other experiences with older men stroking me but don't remember anything bad happening. I've always suffered from bad anxiety (panic attacks, freezing and dissociation) and had a fear of teachers growing up. I never understood my behaviour but now it does resemble childhood trauma. I was also sexually assaulted by a friend last year when I was drunk so I'm trying to deal with that but it's all very confusing. I don't have a relationship with my dad or any of his family because they are abusive and have addictions so I probably will never know.
HI Bella Pullman, Jen here from Team Lyon. It sounds like you have clear instincts about your experience and what it may be connected to. I do want to clarify that unwanted touch is a form of abuse and your responses are understandable. I hope what Irene shares in this video about not needing to remember the trauma to heal it lets you know that we can heal from trauma, both when we remember what happened and when we don't.
Hi Irene,
I attended your workshop in Vancouver, but I regret not asking you some of my burning questions.. It seemed like you and Seth agreed with my self diagnosis of very early trauma. So, I know what happened to me and I'm taking the necessary steps. I've been doing.. bodywork for the past 7 months and I'm slowly coming back to my body.
My main question is *how long would it take and at what point would I fully come out of freeze/become "neurotypical"? Do I just need to reconnect to my face? Do I need to fully connect to my lower body as well?* Most of the work I've been doing has been around trying to reconnect to my face, because I thought that made the most sense if my main priority is increasing my ability to socialize. I keep thinking, okay next week I'll become NT, okay next week. But, every week I realize just how much more bodywork I need.
The amount of time I've spent on bodywork is pretty ridiculous in my opinion. I pretty much am always doing some form of bodywork. As I type this I put my shoulders back, move my jaw to the side, and breathe from my diaphragm slowly. Of course, I only do this when no one is looking. So I'm wondering, *is this going to take 2+ years despite the amount of work I put in?*
Also, despite being disconnected from my emotions and sense of self, I would say I'm a big believer in things like law of attraction, gratitude, and having an abundance mentality. But, it seems to me that the people in my day to day and family believe that these ideas are crazy. I believe that there's another world.. I'd call it the world of emotional regulation. But, I know I have to pass through dysregulation to get there. I spend everyday thinking about this moment. How long is it? Would I suicide? I see it as gaining an emotional attachment to my past, social status, feeling like a loser, felling like the "lowest one", and feeling like I'm doomed to a life of suffering.
I just don't know how I can prepare for the future. My only plan for if something bad happens, I would call my dad or the crisis line. I think that my NT self/real self exists in my father's mind, but not my brothers' or mother's. He left my family when I was 10 and I didn't interact much with him my entire life. I believe my mother had developmental trauma, but not my father. When I hang out with my dad now, he sees that I seem blank minded, but my mother/brothers sees me as normal, because they have come to know me as a false self, dissociated self. So I think that my father's reaction to meeting my real self would be, 'he seems normal', but I think my brothers/mother would think, 'woah who is this?'
Anyways, if you read this, thank you.
Keith
Keith,
Nicole here with Team Lyon. I was also at Up/Down in Vancouver and remember you :) I enjoyed your presence and curiosity and the small chat I had with you.
It's so nice to hear from you. Thanks for sharing your story and experience.
Freeze can take time to work with and it's great that you're taking action. Is the body worker you're working with trained in working with trauma?
It's hard to say how long "it" will take as there are so many variables. What I encourage is to notice what's different. How the work you're doing IS moving you into your real self. And what it like to be more of your real self!? Even if it's bit by bit, on your own to start. As the capacity builds you might find that there's a different ability to be with your mother and brother's response of "woah who is this?'
I'm so happy for you to have found this work and that you are exploring and following this knowing that things can be different. I hope to see you again around Vancouver - maybe at the next Up/Down!?
Wishing you strength in your process Keith.
Nicole - Team Lyon Moderator
ps I shared this with Irene and she enjoyed hearing from you and to hear that you are continuing on with your work.
Thank you for that video and the hope you give. I have been as you say educating myself on these subjects and processes. I do not feel as healed, but somewhere in between, where I do sence and identify and understand and explain my actions differently and deeply. And I have kids, 6 and 9 and I find I have transfered some unwanted stuff, which I recognize now. So my question is, the healing process mixed with uncertainty, how it affects the kids. Are there ways while learning myself, teaching them lets saythe 'better' ....
Hi Nersin, Seth here with Team Lyon. The biggest thing you can do to help your kids is to improve your own regulation. That has profound ripple effects that will positively impact the entire family system. In addition, with your kids I recommend supporting their authenticity - which means not imposing our own agendas for how or who they should be, respecting and being present for ALL their emotions, and generally respecting their person and how they want to show up in the world. And, of course, all that needs to come along with healthy boundaries, and teaching them about responsibility - chores are important! :)
Wow. I know I have the trauma of sexual abuse, but the memories from childhood are spotty. And I have always had this nagging feeling that i need to deal with it somehow, but through all the years of therapy no one ever brought this to my attention and so never got addressed and really affect my core beliefs about myself. The work seems never ending and exhausting. I guess if you are lucky enough and get a good therapist it could lessen the duration/years of agony. Wish I could’ve been so lucky.
Hi Joy, as you may have gleaned from this vlog, trauma can have a major impact on our memory. Many of us with early trauma have few childhood memories. Many of us also wish we'd found this work earlier, and the promising news is that the nervous system can grow and change at heal at any age once we learn how to listen to and work with our nervous system. There is hope!
Not to mention all the $$ spent on therapy. All of this makes so much sense.
Any insight on coffee consumption with a dysregulated nervous system?
If you haven't already, cut it out. This has been essential in my journey. You won't miss it or even like the taste after a while. My anxiety is almost entirely gone and I've made immense progress in EMDR since cutting caffeine.
You can speed up playback under the settings button. 1.25 x speed is best I found. It's one thing to have the ability to process words at a faster rate than a speaker. It's another to have the time to listen to the speaker whilst time is fleeting. Hope this helps. Skip to 7:28 to get to the magic phrase.
My daughter was adopted and we did physical attachment type work with her from 10 months old, swinging her, singing to her and using theraplay methods for years, but she is still adhd, autistic and dyslexic with high anxiety. Any ideas about what to do now she is 14?
look into resources like IEPs, therapy. ADHD dyslexia and autism usually have nothing to do with trauma but the mistreatment that comes with these disorders can often cause it.
I think it is possible in uterine trauma can exacerbate adhd and autism because of the fight or flight, my daughter didn’t receive mistreatment, i know what you mean about the wrong response to meltdowns etc but we took her out of school and hone educated as soon as we could see there was a negative impact. What is IEP therapy? To be honest its very difficult to see therapy making much impact as its not like she can identify any source of her fight or flight, she can barely find the words to explain why she can’t write for learning but can sit and write short stories or a script like there is no tomorrow, and its hard to help if you don’t know where the block is.
I had a traumatic event happen to me in high school with another boy, I had completely forgotten about it, till a friend on facebook recently reminded me of this which happened 27 years ago? I really want to remember what was said prior to the event, I can only remember the physical abuse that happened after the talking? I really want to remember what I said to this boy to have me end up in that situation. It bothers me no end, I can't sleep, I can't think, I get very nervous trying to remember and shake when I try to even verbalise the events. If anyone has advice on how I can make my brain remember I would really appreciate it.
Hi platinumare, Jen here from Irene's Team. I can sure understand how what you describe could be bothersome. From a nervous system perspective, it sounds like reading what your friend what on Facebook touched into something in your nervous system that's ready to be expressed. The mind often things that remember is the key to relief or healing, and one of the (many!) cool aspects of healing in this nervous system way is that we don't have to remember to heal (the irony is that often as we heal without remembering the memories come).
Working with a nervous system trained practitioner might be supportive here, as would learning to work with your nervous system in a way that supports healing. If you're interested in the latter, Irene's 21 Day Tune Up is a great place to start. I'll link to a video that might be of interest to you and and also to info on her program in case you want to check it out.
Can you process a trauma that you don't remember?: ua-cam.com/video/dv7lOnbk03w/v-deo.html
I had a mother with BPD and remember some trauma. I also have auto-immune issues and incredible physical pain. I also have few childhood memories. I am a Christian and am concerned about developing a victim mentality and languishing in self-pity or anger as a result of exploring trauma. How do I find a therapist who specializes in this treatment?
Kimberly - Mara here with Team Lyon. If you are looking to find a practitioner for private sessions, Irene strongly suggests taking some time to watch a video she created detailing “How to find a good practitioner.”
ua-cam.com/video/04XF7ANnqGk/v-deo.html
We also recommend taking a look over the Team Lyon page as many have their own practices and accept clients.
General Link: irenelyon.com/meet-the-team-3/
Some other directories that might be of help are:
Somatic Experiencing practitioners: directory.traumahealing.org/
Feldenkrais practitioners: feldenkrais.com/practitioner-search/
Co-regulating Touch: coregulatingtouch.com
@@IreneLyon Thankyou!
Hi! I came back to this video (been following your work for about two years) because I have reached the capacity where in utero trauma is coming up for me. Set up for my question: When I was eight months in utero, my mother had significant dental work done, and then had pneumonia and was hospitalized/bed rest for a couple of weeks before birth. This period of time in my life has been spontaneously coming to mind, and my body has also been leading me to awareness of certain "symptoms." Specifically, I have intense, full-body cellular level pain for about 10-20 seconds when waking up from deep sleep. I have had this occur since childhood. My question is whether this could be related to birth trauma. I know that I can heal at the procedural level without knowing the specific cause of my pain on waking, but I was curious if this could be connected to in utero trauma. Since my mind and body seem to be prompting me toward this simultaneously, I think yes? A follow up question, are there any resources I've missed that cover stored survival stress when transitioning from sleep? (besides "Waking up in a panic attack" video)
Hi Virginia Creasy, Jen here Team Lyon. As you mentioned, if your inner sense is suggesting that there may be a connection between your in utero experience and the cellular pain you're experiencing upon waking, then you might trust that (it can also be a good idea to get checked out by a medical professional too if you have concerns, just to rule out other causes).
I can't think of any of Irene's resources that specifically address what you're looking for, and one way we often work with this is to imagine/call the experience to mind when awake and to work with it that way. There is also some built in titration in working in this way. Seth Lyon, Irene's husband and colleague, has an article that's loosely related so I'll link to that in case you'd like to check it out.
Planes, Babes & Incubators: Exploring Coupling Dynamics - sethlyon.com/planes-babes-incubators-exploring-coupling-dynamics/
@@teamlyon3109 thank you Jen! I'll check out that blog article and i appreciate the response!
Im so sorry, thats awful 😢
What if you're retraumatized as an adult?
I remember getting my period when I was 9-10. I was hyper sexual before that. But I don’t ever remember being abused. I was always very anxious as a little child and have an anxiety disorder. From a young age, I was always worried someone was going to hurt me and still have thoughts like that. Have I been abused, or do I just have a really bad anxiety disorder?
Anne Gautreaux, Jen here from Team Lyon. We look at things in terms of what's happening in the nervous system. From what you described, it sounds like you may have experienced developmental trauma.
We don't have to have experienced abuse in order to experience developmental trauma, and possibly early developmental trauma (EDT). This can happen in response to a detached, anxious, depressed or absent caregiver, early illnesses or medical procedures, experiencing trauma while growing up, and much more.
The chronic fear and vigilance that you describe can be common when developmental trauma is in the picture. I'll link to a few related resources in case you'd like to learn more.
Q&A w/ Irene, Seth, & Janice. Special focus on healing early & developmental trauma - ua-cam.com/video/78Qix0D6eLk/v-deo.html
The Unknown Causes of Anxiety - ua-cam.com/video/bwEowek9mn4/v-deo.html
DIY: Ancient Anxiety Medicine - ua-cam.com/video/0ICsbXUCKmM/v-deo.html
I just watched this today. It is way to late for me but I would like to know if these things (in particular a broken skull and learning disabilities) have or could be genetically passed down to my children. Thank you and I will check out more of your YT.
Hi Joan, Seth here with Team Lyon. Specific incidents don't get passed down, it's the cumulative effect of unresolved trauma on the physiology, and the way it responds maladaptively, that get passed on as genetic tendencies. This is not written in stone, as epigenetics and neuroplasticity both show us is that it's never too late to rewire and change the expression of our genome to a healthier one.
Excellent video. Thank you.
I was born 3 weeks early. At 3 months developed hydrocephalus. Had a car wreck at in 1997. My senior in high school. TBI and a broken left femur. Don't remember, but think I do.
Thank you for helping people like me
What was that subliminal shit you just did? I saw it pop up in the video
Hi Tabitha, Seth here from Team Lyon. Irene doesn't use any sort of subliminal messaging in her videos. If you saw something strange it was likely a glitch or an artifact from the editing process.
I have a question: how do you feel about spiritual healing sessions conducted by psychics/mediums? Can this release some of the trauma in the body?
HI F FF, Jen here from Team Lyon. Many approaches and modalities can be healing. Ultimately, we each have to do our research and trust our impulses.
A few things that you might want to consider are that few modalities are effective in growing nervous system regulation and capacity the way that this work (that Irene teaches) is. Also, if someone has a history of trauma, it can be important to take things slowly as some modalities and approaches may touch into too much too quickly.
I was an overdue child meaning I was inside my mom's tummy for more than the expected time/date and she said i was induced. Can i consider this as my "trauma"?
if she was induced because of that then yes
if you came without inducing i would say no
It's hard too when your mother says "Are you sure?"
Hiya, can you explain some thing I have often wondered about?
When some one is filled with anger, and are acting out their anger, in a fight for example, what happens to the angry person who blacks out? How do they keep on fighting or doing what they are doing it they have in fact shut themselves down?
I had this experience when in my teens, it frightened me, because if was aware one moment when the rich began, then nothing I till I came around, obviously a.little.freaked out.
Do you consider that their maybe some thing "other" going on?
Like when some one is healthy and in touch with their child self, they exhibit good energy, love, a joyful spirit, emapathy, compassion, inner strength understanding, and light within to guide them.
Whereas when we are in the state of being dispirited lacking the child self, which is our foundation, where the heart is, where the Light is, if that's disconected, the person is in darkness, stripped not with light but darkness, therefore they have an angry spirit, a spirit of fear, jealousy, envy, shame, selfhatred.
Have you consider that when in that dark.state we are vulnerable to "other" things which exist but which we can not see? which when a individual is full of unresolved trauma, and harbouring anger, it allows the "other" dark spirits access into our bodies?
Seeing as I have myself witnessed others when they have been overwhelmed by their anger as adults, and seeing the individual change into a wild snarling animal, not responsive at all.
Or when someone true to kill you, and they act like.a robot, afterwards and don't remember what they did?
Hi Nikki Baxter, Jen here from Team Lyon. Interesting questions. Speaking generally, when we have an episode where we are very angry (for example) and then don't remember afterwards, often some form of dissociation may be at play where we disconnect from our experience as a self-protective mechanism.
My belief system (and what I witness as a nervous system practitioner) is that often "darker" thoughts and experiences such as the desire to harm someone or ourselves indicate a held survival response in the nervous system that reflects something that's happened to us in our lifetime.
These responses are often a healthy response to being hurt (the fight response which we have to protect ourselves and others) - it's how we work with and express what we feel (or don't) that can make the difference between healing and causing or perpetuating suffering. This is also the difference that working with the nervous system can make! I'll link to a few related resources in case you want to check them out.
sethlyon.com/this-is-when-its-ok-to-annihilate-somebody/
ua-cam.com/video/4wdeBJ39Cuw/v-deo.html
This video has helped me so much. As I cried listening to it, my mind was freed and my body relaxed. I didn't even realize how tight my muscles were until they started to relax, it was crazy! I stopped clinching my teeth, I can wiggle my toes and rotate my ankle, I am sleeping so much better. I feel like my body is repairing itself. Now, more than 4 days later, my muscles are still relaxing. Is that ok? I am feeling more and more of my body, I love it but it's making me kind of tired. Is that ok?
Hi L Lee, Jen here from Team Lyon. Great to hear that you had such a release listening to this video! Yes, okay that you're muscles are still relaxing as long as you're feeling okay. And it sounds like your body/nervous system may have released a lot of tension it had been holding, when this happens it's common to feel tired. It's like when people go on vacation and sleep for a week because they can finally let down and realize how tired they are!
@@teamlyon3109 Thank you so much for responding and for the info! Yes, I feel amazing! I was holding on to that trauma for more than 20 years. As I watched this video, it just melted away. Thanks for all that you all do! 💓💓💓
Thank you, great video.
How does the child's subconscious perceive premature birth or surgeries at the time of birth to be "bad"? Without the conditioning of good and bad, how does the subconscious judge it to be bad? Also, beyond the ego, everything is a neutral experience. Labels of good an bad come from ego. So at the age when ego isn't developed, how are such judgements formed?
Hi Maariyah, Seth here from Team Lyon. Great question! It's not about judging the experience to be bad or good. An infant doesn't have anywhere near that kind of cognitive system going yet, it is simply experiencing itself. When it goes through surgery, or traumatic birth, that is a physiological experience, not a cognitive one, and it is an overwhelming physiological experience. So the autonomic nervous system goes into survival mode (fight/flight/freeze) , and without the proper support afterwards, the system will internalize those survival energies instead of resolving them, which leads to the tendency to do more of the same when confronted with overwhelm in the future. This is what creates the trauma, it's not a cognitive or emotional experience, it's a physiological experience which, if left unresolved will negatively effect everything down the road, including the cognition and emotions, as well as general physical health, relationships, sense of purpose and power, and more.
I have recently remembered that I once got drugged by someone I knew but I can't recall what happened during the blackout. I have 2 different recurrent flashbacks related to that night but they don't take place in the same location, yet they are situated at a fair proximity of one another. So it could be possible that both happened but I find that unlikely... Does it happen that "fake" memories get created in the process?
Another thing is that I am not even sure if I would consider what could have happened as "traumatic" since I can be a rather promiscuous person. But then I sense that I might have experienced fear after being released in the streets on my own, trying to stumble back to a safe place. So many questions...
Hi The Pianologist, Jen here from Team Lyon. There are different types of memories, and sometimes a memory can be more of an impression related to an experience than a factual representation of something that we went through. AND, in this work we don't need to know in order to heal. We learn to listen to and be with what arises from within, and this leads to healing and change.
@@IreneLyon Thank you for your reply and this makes a lot of sense. Otherwise I think I would have a hard time pretending to heal from something I'm not even sure happened...
Thank you so much for this video
I was thinking about why am I so unemotional but emotional at time. But i think i got that trauma called emotionally neglected.
I've remember back then when I was little kid I got friend but they left me.i got that one girl from second grade who was my old friend,she was mad at me because I was misunderstood able,after that I was so sad about it.my friend from the school I'm in now was friend with one girl but she didnt pay close attention to me but after these thing she does I start to hide and cry.but then to third grade she start to be friends with me because the girl left her because of her new friend.me and her became true friends now:)
She kinda help me how to show my emotion but I'm still unemotional.
I think that was emotionally neglect I think.
I guess I know why I become so cold because of these past childhood relationship.
I think I know why now.i start to tell people about this because I saw people in comment talking about what their trauma was so Ifelt like sharing it.
I think I know why I'm cold person
I I don’t understand what’s happening because I get this moment of like anger and then all of a sudden I can smell and then I can almost visualize the person but I can’t see the person and all of a sudden there’s a farmhouse and there’s a truck and a person is putting themselves on top of me and I’m begging him not to do it and so I don’t understand why it’s coming through dreams in my waking state so apparently that it’s throwing my body
HI Beautysoul Vibe, often our nervous system will bring things into our awareness so that healing can happen. If you have the support of a trauma-trained therapist or practitioner, you might consider bringing this to him or her. Irene also teaches people how to heal trauma by working with their nervous system through her online programs, The 21 Day Nervous System Tune Up and SmartBody SmartMind.
Do you do online therapy online for older adults who had young crazy lives and never responded to therapy
Hi Kat, Irene offers two online programs for healing trauma, The 21 Day Nervous System Tune Up and SmartBody SmartMind. The 21 Day program is a great place to start. Many people in these programs are older adults who have not received the results they'd hoped for from therapy. (sometimes after decades of therapy and trying other approaches). I'll link to the 21 Day Tune Up in case you want to learn more:
21 Day nervous System Tune Up: irenelyon.com/tuneup/
- Jen from Team Lyon
It's better not too , your brain saving you
thank u
all mine. came up on aya
Thank you Irene
Thank you
What if it happened when you were post-verbal, but because the event caused a concussion, you don't remember it well? I want to try EMDR but I'm not sure if it will help considering I don't have clear memories of the event.
Hi MagerialPage, Jen here from Team Lyon. In the example you gave the same thing Irene teaches in this video will apply. In this nervous system way of healing we don't have to remember as the body (and nervous system) will show us the way. EMDR can be helpful in many instances, and there are certain types of trauma where it is often not an effective intervention (and sometimes makes things worse).
If something happens to me that could be traumatizing, I usually don't take it personally in the absence of understanding why I'm being mistreated. Do I need to assign an emotion to something to find it traumatizing?
As a child , when i was 11 my mum travelled out of the country same with my dad, for financial stability to be able to keep up with my siblings and I’m 20 now and my dad just got back , i still haven’t seen my mum , it led me to either be at home alone with my bro and sis and they always went out , i went to boarding school which i was mistreated, i always had to stay in peoples house for holiday and so , it was crazy but to me i was chilling, i was a happy child and I didn’t really care honestly , 2years ago out of no where, depression hit me so hard and trust me my life changed, i lost myself, more and more mental issues , anxiety , dissociation, even hocd , 2020 was a crazy years for me especially , i was so confused because i felt there was no reason for the depression, i was okay and good , so why?? , why is my life like this?? , I’m just realizing that , though it might have felt as nothing then , analyzing the whole situation now i cry and feel bad for the younger me cause she definitely didn’t deserve that even if she took it well , she was just surpressing and felt it was okay , so it might have been that, you might not remember or feel mistreated but maybe your brain does and stores the memory. I’m finding out so many things about psychology and its a crazy , stay strong❤️
i hope you see this or can respond… i had surgery a month ago to remove stage 4 endo. i’m in my very early 20’s. ever since then i have had raging anxiety 24/7 followed by panic attacks, dissociation etc. my obgyn/surgeon said it was from the anesthesia. can you please lead me to a video that explains why this is? i had a very traumatic and stressful childhood. diagnosed bipolar, anxiety, adhd depression. i was able to feel good and conquer these up until after surgery. seems like everything came back 10x harder. i wish i could speak to you and have you explain to me why this is. will i feel this way forever? i’m a young mom. i want to feel normal again for my child.
may i add, it was a 6 hour surgery. the longest i’ve ever been under for.
Hi !!!!!!!****, Jen here from Team Lyon. I'm sorry to hear about the intense experiences you've been having since your surgery. It sounds like the trauma and the nervous system may be playing a role here, and if so, there a lot of room to hope for healing.
If you haven't yet seen Irene's free 3-part Healing Trauma series, I'd suggest you give that a watch to help you understand how the surgery and anesthesia could be causing the experiences you've having. I'll link to that here, and I'll also link a few of Irene's free resources you might try to see if they lessen the intensity of what you're doing through at all, even if temporarily/momentarily to start.
If it's an option, another thing you might also consider doing some work with a practitioner trained in working specifically with early/developmental trauma.
free Healing Trauma video training - irenelyon.com/healing-trauma
DIY: Ancient Anxiety Medicine - ua-cam.com/video/0ICsbXUCKmM/v-deo.html&lc=UgzKvm65Pqe9xARznlN4AaABAg
4 Surprisingly Simple Steps to Calm Overwhelm... - irenelyon.com/4-steps-to-calm-overwhelm/