WHAT IF THE NARCISSIST CHANGED?
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- Опубліковано 2 бер 2024
- #narcissist #narcissisticabuse Instead of tormenting ourselves with the question of whether or not the narcissist will change, it may be more useful to think about why we are so invested in the idea of another person changing and what it would actually mean if they did.
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No they don't change. They are ACTORS.
SOME OF THE BEST ACTORS AROUND.
I'm prompted to mention that it's being shown now that many ACTUAL actors, as well as famous singers etc, are highly narcissistic, or worse, which makes a lot of sense! 😎
THEY DON'T CHANGE !!!!!!!!!
Only way change is get saved and God helps them change
The moment her masked slipped, I knew I could never trust this person again. 9 months of lying and gaslighting was more than enough for me. I'm free! Never ever going back.
They get worse. Go no contact and let the world see what this person is really like.
So wise. They never change. My ex used to roar and scream at me for hours on end, insulting me, cursing me , kicking doors etc then he turns around and said just letting off steam let’s have a nice day💔
hey it works for Mommy why doesn't it work for you?
People with morals,values are made to feel embarrassed in our time and day.
If my ex changed,
truly changed-
we would be able to actually have positive civil dialogue and it would only improve things for everyone.
My ex is so narcissistic that all I get is 100% gaslighting and wicked circular statements that lead to nowhere besides me getting blamed.
I can’t even explain it to help someone understand what I mean.
They can’t change. They’re cowards and they like to hurt people especially people they love.
SPEAKING WITH A NARCISSIST IS LIKE TALKING TO A WALL.
For a lot of real narcissists, there's no point changing. It works for them. Their behaviour gets their narcissistic needs met. I even heard stories about the narc manipulating the therapist. A guy/girl will bring their narc to the office, and all of a sudden the Narc is the normal one and the normal one is the crazy one. While there's a small percentage who can change, it's so small that it's better to assume that they can't change. They will always go back to their old ways in some shape or form. Some even become more effective, and better narcissists through therapy as they gain more awareness.
This is an excellent comment, especially the part about assuming that highly narcissistic individuals won''t do their healing work, which I prefer to say instead of changing.
I also want to mention that I've experienced seeing therapists with an ex and my sister, who both managed to ACT like they were totally okay, whereas I was "too emotional," among other faults.
I was just being honest and did have more unresolved childhood trauma issues and other types than them; however, they certainly have their fair share!
Of course, they both didn't admit that some of my issues at the time were due to their abuse, especially with my sister.
I wouldn't go back to any exes (a few are dead now anyway), even IF they did genuinely work on themselves and have very low contact with my sister, along with other harmful people, and none at all with many others. 🙂
Yeah they change, into a bigger snake.
👏👏👏
THERE''S A POINT AFTER BEING BETRAYED AND LIED TO THAT WE REALIZE WE CAN NEVER TRUST THE NARCISSIST AGAIN. I KNEW I NEVER WANTED TO TALK WITH THEM AGAIN OR WASTE MY TIME BEING IN THEIR PHYSICAL PRESENCE. HEARING THEIR VOICE AND SEEING THEM MADE ME SICK.
Ugh. They lie. I had mine admit she was a narc. And I was still like “good luck with that. Better luck with the next one. I’m glad I was able to give you self awareness. Thank you for also giving me mine.”
You truly do an outstanding role in exposing the essence of this treachery.
If they do change, it’s only slightly for the new supply. It’ll take a miracle for them to fully change every aspect of their disordered personality. My ex narc is already having tons of casual sex with multiple partners, so it’s like clockwork with these creatures.
Spot on as usual.
@27:35 he'd tell them (behind your back) that you finally admitted that you were wrong and he was right all along. He'd double the damage. You're so right. I haven't thought about it, but it makes so much sense. Going back only reinforces his manipulative power & restraint
Well, it's nice to imagine "what if" but it ain't happening.
Your videos are pure gold!!!! I rarely comment , but I’ve been listening to your videos for well over a year . I can relate to what you’re saying on such a deep level . I’m so thankful you’re still making these videos ! God bless you , sweet lady . ❤️🌸🌺😊
I love this video! The approach of looking at how WE are affected is the only one that matters. We can debate all day about why abusers are the way they are. Whether or not they can change. But there is no debating the cold hard truth that if we aren’t being treated right, it’s time to remove them from our lives. We simply cannot enable abuse by giving them grace and love. I wanted so badly to help him see what it meant to be safe and loved. But that’s an impossible task that put me in the crosshairs of his abuse. Never again.
Thank you for explaining things so plainly. It was your video comparing me to a ketchup bottle that would be used up and tossed away that finally helped me see the light. I made an exit plan and got out a month ago. I cannot describe the peace and clarity that comes from leaving the fog of abuse. Thank you.
Good on you for breaking away from a person who wasn't able to care about your welfare and I've found those analagies to be extremely helpful, albeit confronting at times, as well. ❤
I hope Marshall gets to make a cameo soon. He was so entertaining in the previous video.
Hahaha. He is temperamental talent. Only he decides when he will make an appearance.
I totally agree about Marshall and wasn't able to write anything when I saw the video, so might rectify that soon! 😻
Your videos are so underrated. I really hope they start going viral in the narcissistic abuse online community. You have some for the best and grounded advice and observations I've seen, and I've seen and heard a lot. Thank you for what you do. I'm so glad you moved on with wisdom and healing your life. Blessings.
Thank you. That’s so nice.
This is so good. A huge turning point came for me last year when i read the book NECESSARY ENDINGS by Henry Cloud. Very clarifying.
You're back!!❤
You're so funny and real thank you so much for making these. these people get by on so much bullshit and once you see it and keep seeing it it's really really hard to unsee anymore... It can take a while
Excellent ! You are very good at communicating this subject ! Thank you .
Ongoing problem with sister who I did not grow up with and did not realise was narcissist like my other sister, I cut her off for 6 months, she came back through flying monkey, a new person, we went out and bought me a new beautiful bed and chandelier lamp, then in a very short time she began to put me down at every opportunity, she said my beautiful ragdollcat was worthless, I had to find new family for him, I was devastated 💔, crying and crying, I believed her, gaslighting me constantly, I confronted her, I told her I felt she did not have my back, I did not trust her, she said nothing as usual, then when I rang her to get advice re my cat, she was very angry, I have cut her off again, she is sending me emojis which I ignore, I can't block her on cheap phone, I will never speak to her again, this is not redeemable, its very abusive, and bad for me! Sorry it's long!!! You are the best on this subject beautiful girl!❤❤❤❤
Perfectly said, " why should they spend their time and energy on things that are just going to serve you?" You push narcissistic person's button when you threaten their image and their ABSOLUTE MATERIAL INCLINATION. Their selective empathy to situations and people who can return the favor back to them to maintain their "kind" and "loving" image as someone who's part of a thriving society is their way of telling themselves they are authentic and generous people. Here in the Philippines (I have to assert the location so as to make everyone aware that toxic narcissism is GLOBAL) it's the same shenanigans but the core issue these elitists are pointing out is political and economical. They refuse constitutional change because they want market domination and zero competition (sounds like communism) thus, creating this "circle of elitists" who will do everything to maintain power that can only serve themselves and their "friends" causing divisiveness and dividedness among classes of society. And what is even grossly manipulative is their grip on these people working somewhat in the middle down to the lower working class. Toxic patriotism and TV media influence are their venues of manipulating people so If you're pinpointedly critical of their dubious practices, they use narratives focused on one story to tell on their loyal, flying monkeys (either employed or influenced through whatever means) to cancel you. The goal of their narrative is to see your reaction to their written and directed scene. It's horribly sickening for them if you do not comply how they expect you to react even you've already known for years that you see right through them. They will even use other innocent people and animals as mediums to justify that the claim about you is true from a narrative they were told which first of all they didn't even know if it's true or not. People believe and do what they are told these days and that's how narcissistic people recruit and gather resources. It's crucial for everyone to effortlessly detect narcissistic people because after they groom you to be their enabler, you're automatically a collateral when things reveal themselves down south and expose what their agenda really is and how they ignorantly affect others.
Blissful ignorance is one mental framework of a narcissistic individual because to voluntarily ignore what's happening around no matter how ugly it's gradually turning out to be is the easiest way to live a life of greater happiness and fulfillment. Of course they have conscience, though only short-lived and conditional because they are incapable of taking in emotional loads of others, let alone a society or a nation. Establishing a divided society is a conducive in maintaining "power". I mean how royal could you feel on a cushioned palaquin where lower-class working people under are lifting it. Like a majesty, right? So who would want to have that feeling alone change?
Confrontation when it's needed is never a narcissistic trait because it shows their fear thus exposing their guilt and lose control, that's why they jump from narrative to narrative to avoid negative feelings of accountability of the lies they believed and told others. For them, new day, new story. This is an unchangeable cycle. I pray that the younger generations maintain their innocence and not to succumb to the ways of toxic narcissism (and yes there's a healthy spectrum of narcissism). 40 years living here, speaking the language, people here choose silence over voicing out inequality and selectively choosing to cancel out an individual over the same or even worse criticism others even expressed. I guess this is one trauma a nation had incurred from being majorly colonized three times.
Great vid
I had a traumatic experience with a very narcissistic boss 5 years ago and I still feel angry about it. I feel like she got away with mistreating me and deliberately bullying me. Do you have any videos about moving past this type of experience? Thank you❤
I’ve talked about that in my videos, but it may be time to do a video focused on that topic. I know the feeling. It can be so hard to let go of the anger when there doesn’t feel like there was any justice. It’s a long, difficult process. Thanks for the idea!
@@LookingBehindtheMirrorthanks for all the great content
Everybody says they don’t change but I would like to put this here: I’ve changed and I was a narcissist. What cause my change is that I really wanted to have a different life so I took personal development classes and I took responsibility of my actions. One of us have to stop with the generational trauma that had been passed over generation by generation. So it is possible if we put our heart on it and have a spiritual awakening and realize what we have been doing.
Yes heart and soul
❤❤❤❤❤
I don't understand the TOPIC , it doesn't make sense !!!!!!!!!
👍🌸🌺❤️
In your dreams 😂.