THE NARCISSIST'S BIG BREAKTHROUGH
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- Опубліковано 16 бер 2024
- #narcissisticmanipulation #narcissisticabuse Sometimes it might seem that the narcissist has had a big breakthrough, and that we're finally getting through to them. But there are several ways that we can tell the difference between a real breakthrough and a narcissist's manipulation.
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Narcissists think of ONLY 5 things:
1) Me
2) What can others give me?
3) What can I take from others?
4) How can I manipulate others to get what I want out of them?
5) Me
👏👏👏
Well said!
They're sadists. Essentially an adult schoolyard bully.
It was realizing that I was never going to get what I really wanted, that it was always going to be withheld and dangled over my head, that made it easier for me to walk away and stay away for good.
Wish my son would quit letting her come back hoping
My Narc's answer to the question "What exactly IS IT that you are sorry for?"was "Well I'm not perfect!" Nice one.
So true. A narc's "breakthrough" is just bread-crumbing. It took my narcissistic husband 6-7 years to finally "want to see a movie together", "take time off work to spend time together", buy me flowers, buy me a gift that didn't come right off the shelf of Target the day of--all because I've grown indifferent and no longer find him attractive. And his acts are all rubbish. I've said no to the movie and us-time, and all his gifts are in the trash. In his words: "You're welcome!"
You are rejecting his bids for quality time and throwing away his gifts?
Wow - he's such a dick
I can relate. After 17 years of being raped, divorced, and not even compensated with spending 1day alone together, and my moving on to another relationship, for my x husband to come back asking for 30 days of exclusive dating rights, promising celibacy, with the caveat that if we aren't back together at the end of 1 month, we would part ways for good. I saw right thru that. He didn't want me back; he wanted to assuage his guilt. I said no because I knew that a real reconciliation would take a lot more than a month to accomplish and a lot more effort than he was offering. He went away vindicated, and I was left feeling sad and guilty.
I love your can kicking analogy. I don't think they forget to do things for you. I think they do it on purpose to hurt you. Then they start doing it again to future fake you. Sick and twisted. 🤬💩🤬💩
I agree. I also think they do it (suddenly give you what you want), so that you can remember the time you "begged" them to do it and they WOULDN'T do it. They want you to relive that pain all over again. Like someone said in the comment section, they're sadists. Just sick, disturbed and dangerous people.
AFTER THE NARCISSIST LIED TO ME AND STOLE FROM ME,I DECIDED I WOULD NEVER BE ABLE TO TRUST HIM. TIME WAS TOO PRECIOUS TO WASTE ANYMORE.
15:50 it's only because they don't want you to use it as a leverage against them in the future. Even if they are sorry, they always think in terms of war of attrition. If they don't admit it clearly, they can always deny it in the future, or twist it.
You really understand those demented souls.
Repitition complusion fortified by triangulation.
Fault finding, shame and blame are most important to them. They will not resolve or solve anything. Proving you are the bad guy. They are always a “changed man” but never learn and repeat the behaviors.
My narc gaslit me and called me sad for 6 months after I told him how he comes off. After he kept trying to talk to me he had a "breakthrough" and admitted to everything. Of course it was after sharing something he really wanted attention for and didn't get it. Then a few months later he had another breakthrough and started talking about something that he knew I liked. He previously mocked me for it but now he was all interested in talking about it and wanted to share it with me. It was so obvious that it was just trying to sink a hook in and real me back in. Both instances you didn't care until you were effected, now you want to try.? Too late
You are so right.
Especially the last 5 minutes, really sums up the entire experience in such a coherent way. I love how well you can communicate such a complicated situation. Sense out of nonsense 💯
Thank you 💜💐
Omg!!!! You have hit every single nail right on the head for me in this god awful marriage of 50 yrs!!!!
I’m so grateful to have actually known the deep, genuine, authentic love of a few really really good men in my lifetime. This provided me with a strong point of reference to compare against a very disrespectful, fraudulent con artist wearing a mask of deception that I alone allowed to enter into my life. Thank God that his actual friends, family and even an ex partner helped me to realize that the dysfunctional issues involved were related to him and I wasn’t losing my very strong mind!! There were no misinterpretations!!! I still remain proud AF of the beautiful soul that I am both before, during and after the emotional abuse. My heart hurts for ALL the really good people that have to endure that level of hurt!! #KeepTheFaithAlways #Warriors💪💯❤️
Yes, I saw that cycle so much that I eventually just said I'm waiting to see if it lasts, and praying about how long. We set a time for "evaluation" but I also had an "if-then" list. But yes, there was no acknowledgement of what was done before.
This is such a good video ❤ this is exactly what happens they lure you with a false sense of security bread crumming you and moving the goal posts. All game
Totally agree and thanks a lot for your guidance. I enjoy your video a lot because you speak down to the very point of the inner happenings in a narcissistic relationship where some people find it inconvenient to talk about. This thought also occurred to me that this is also a narcissist's way of "silent bargaining" and breadcrumbing in showing you that they can meet you "half way" but only if they're an inch higher. That tiny speck of difference of not abiding, in this case by simply not pronouncing your first name the right way is mountain-high vital to maintain their sense of superiority.
I’m sorry, I know, I’m sorry
I know.
I always heard this and it’s so dismissive! Also the narc use to say nothing makes you happy and I would forever say “even when I tell you exactly what I want, then you won’t do it!” They would figure out what I really wanted and not do it. I didn’t know what I was dealing with back then..
Huh I might have gotten “I’m sorry” three times perhaps in 50 yrs of marriage.
It took me telling my "friends" I needed them to find another place to live for him to come to me and ask how much of the electric bill would be left if he got the govt to give a certain amount towards it. Once I answered that the payment would cover the bill, he walked away happily and cancelled his request for assistance. But of course, they didn't move out either.
You’re so spot on bravo ❤
thanks again ♡
yes ~> we project too
a breakthrough
onto them
😔🥀💔
I love your channel.
We discern their behavior _ it's the behavior. The glue is based on _ we're they there for u _then u don't have a nark.
❤