Understanding people part 24: Attachment Styles
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- Опубліковано 30 вер 2024
- Part 24!
Detailed video on Attachment Styles. I talk mainly from a romantic relationship standpoint, but attachment styles can affect other areas like work and friendships (remember that).
Keep in mind that some people have mixed attachment styles. Like many things in psychology, attachment theory is a framework for understanding.
Watch until the end for some solutions that help you or your partner embody more secure traits!
Enjoy the video, and have a great weekend!
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Did you watch the other episodes in season 6? Check them out here: • Jem Veda: Season 6
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This video is part of my on-going series "Understanding People."
This playlist helps you understand why people behave the way they do. It can help you understand yourself better too.
Check out the videos here: ua-cam.com/play/PLUBU-DCzad1ZnN41dPSu7ShBnBFb-RdYs.html
how many parts do you think you intend to produce in total?
Get right with god. Let god help you fill those voids by learning positive coping mechanisms. That way you’re not making anyone in your Relationships responsible/ dependent for your healing.
Tyvm
@@rosesoulgold
Isaiah 35:5,6
Isaiah 65:21-24
John 5:28
Matthew 6:9,10
John 3:16
Psalm 83:18
Psalm 37:10,11
Psalm 37:29
Job 42
@@rosesoulgold
Genesis 3:17
As an Alien this really helps me to connect with humanity!
😂😂
As an illegal Alien, this helps me understand Homo sapiens as well.
Me too, dog 😂❤
Laugh all what you want about this kind of joke, but for me it is not a joke at all. I could never understand people, but these kinds of videos help a lot to do it.
Yes, yes🎉
ngl, having anxious style is the worst.
Lovely joint jem, not sure you mentioned in the video but is it possible to have multiple attachment issues at once? Or is it 1 side of the spectrum?
There can be combinations of the attachment issues, although one may be the main issue. I am mostly Avoidant but have some of the others, except Secure.
People can definitely have a mix of multiple.
Emotional imbalances can manifest itself into physical cancers of the body
Absolutely
Straight facts
We run towards familiarity, and run from uncertainty.
In the case of attachment styles, vulnerability is uncertainty.
Insecurity is familiarity.
This is deep, buddy. And I like it!
I just did it so.... I'm not even sure what the hell just happened... This two month relationship I just had was a perfect energetic match for one that almost destroyed me. (Life started with Mom being very scary, then beating me fora year, then I realized she wanted to kill me on a meth turned never one morning and I never went back. So anyway, long story short, I love monsters and my life has been like a movie...) AND! And I'm learning from an extended family who also exhibit very similar energetic patterns to the remainder of my immediate family.
I feel I'm being given exactly what I need to close out my "first life" in a really beautiful way.
I'm not doing the greatest at staying awake. I'm constantly bombarded by crazy lol. I will use this time as an opportunity and stop being a whiner.
Great comment, great channel. Exactly what the Spirit doctor ordered ...
Very good
I really can't understand how people stayed together and made kids ever with all these issues, like look at the amount of people on the planet wtf
You’re really out here doing the work and holding space for others, thank you for your service ❤
💜💜
@@JemVeda
I like listening to you, you are intelligent and rational.
We are NOT born blank slates. The information about attachment styles is informative and interesting. However, babies are born with different temperaments and ask any mother who has had more than one child if she could treat one baby the same as the other to comfort or to provide support or make him / her happy in the same manner and I can promise you, the same conditions DO NOT make each child feel secure, safe or happy. Predictability and a schedule (love being most important of course) help every child significantly, but children are all unique from the moment they are born! Go call your own Mom and ask her how different you were from your own siblings. We each form attachments differently because we each seemed to have different perceptions right from the beginning. We seemed to notice different things and focus upon certain aspects of our environment which lead to particular interpretations by us that the environment either exacerbated and made worse OR mitigated and helped us feel more confident and secure about our place in the world.
It reminds me of when Jem said that something can traumatize one person but won’t affect another (as much)
Also some traits could be genetic maybe?
Wel damn it just hit me
I can tell as the oldest my mother raised me different from my other siblings. She put me in daycare and for my siblings she was able to stay home
Well said 👏 👌 👍🏾
damn that’s good
i like how you take complex concepts and give them to the average person, I've actually been the "anxious attachment" in my pass relationships always wanted control and didn't like to be in the unknown and it drive ppl away or lead to toxicity however the current attachment style I have is avoidant attachment and I give you my upmost gratitude for helping me identify that I'ma try to get some conviction in your tips, i gotta say I love life and it's lessons
Thank you 🙏
Attachment styles is one of my favorite topics in psychology. I am an Avoidant.
Yeah it’s interesting for sure
i married my polar opposite 9 years ago. i am the avoidant one (for the sake of peace) because my opinions are not wanted 10 outta 10 times. my role in this marriage is to keep my mouth shut and go along to get along. even tho she comes to me after whatever situation blows over and says "you were right about xyz" my opinions create potent arguments. some people thrive in doing the same thing and expecting different results. they are not concerned with the right & wrong of it. they cannot and must not break their Routine.
i happen to be the wild-card type whereas she is a jack of clubs.
not here looking for solutions. i married her. this is all me. my karma.
@@an0therdimensi0n99 I feel you with the "go along to get along." With my family, I am always trying to avoid conflict until the time I can get away. I graduate from university this semester, so hopefully I will get my own place where I can be emotionally amd psychologically safe. I am 23 years old and haven't trusted anyone nor felt comfortable enough to be myself for 23 years. I am still optimistic that I will get to live a life worth living.
@@captaincrp3911 if i could give a guy like you one solid piece of advice, it would be, you are going to have Awakenings throughout the course of your life. some will for sure be life altering. you will not think the same like at all - 20 years from now. "settling down" and getting serious with a broad now will mean, you two are on the same wavelength ATM. you start a family at 26, have several awakenings, but the wife does not nor should she. it happens on our own individual clocks. but now, you have a house to pay for, junior is pulling your arm begging for you to teach him how to ride a bike, your 9 year daughter is spending way too much time playing Roblox because it keeps her outta moms hair, you stare at her on the couch thinking to yourself "her childhood is wasting away". it is a deep sadness that can only go away by dad grabbing her hand and taking her outside to play. this is all after your very physically demanding 9 to 5. you have two hours a day to spend with the reasons you get up every day. and it takes an hour for them to get ready to go out and play.
wife hasnt had the same awakenings as you about how fast their childhood is slipping away, wife is not cherishing every moment with them. nor is she willing to hear your pov and make a change. guess what your job is? suck it up butter cup, your shoes just got bigger because now you have to fill in for mom.
a divorce is driving an oil tanker right into an already raging inferno (in terms of damage to children). we would know 😉
The One, does not exist.
@@an0therdimensi0n99are you sure that you aren’t viewing these conversations this way because you’d rather avoid them and not talk about them? You could be creating reasons not to address an issue and the easiest one is saying “you don’t listen to me” or just giving up after talking to your partner because you don’t immediately see eye to eye. You aren’t going to always agree immediately, after all, you aren’t the same person. avoidant people would rather put off any uncomfortable conversation all together and they aren’t exactly known for their resiliency in conflict. It’s almost like being a stubborn pushover. You want it your way immediately, if you don’t get that then you claim to be unheard. And then you just give in because it’s a lot easier for you to go with the flow than it is to argue and resolve a conflict. The problem comes when you lie to yourself saying they’re always the problem because they won’t listen, not acknowledging that you might be saying that to avoid accountability. Both of y’all are stubborn, whether that manifests through being overbearing or avoidant doesn’t matter, it’s still being stubborn. and neither are right, but I promise that it’s just as annoying to your partner when you say “you’re right” or “yeah sure, I’m sorry” disingenuously as it is to you when they constantly repeat the same information over and over.
Doesn’t matter cuz no gf
if possible, a podcast would be nice or something the fans can interact with the content more
Hmmm 👀🤔📝
Semi anxious lover here who was dating a textbook avoidant. It was absolute torture when she decided to detach as soon as we became truly emotionally close and intimately connected. I just pushed further towards her with love and it just pushed her further away.
I’m hoping and I’m fighting to process it all in a healthy way and not blame myself and feel like a loser. Let’s hope I win the battle
U can't the more you chase the more she runs
Lost cause dude i’ve been through the same thing. Thats her problem that she needs to fix snd if she doesnt even realize what shes doing is wrong then you need to walk away and move on. It hurts bro i know but if you got her then you can get another in the near future dont give up.
I have been there dude. Torturous. I hope you find a way to, as you said, process it healthily. Just know the internet strangers are proud of how far you have come.
Hey, mate. I was there too. And the funny part is that she ran away because she "wanted to be alone". Some months later she was already with someone new. Some people are quite inmature too and even if they know they have something good going on they, well, avoid it. Someone said before, we often run from what is not familiar.
I can tell you, she is missing out and sadly, won't find something as good as you.
Cheer up, mate. You have a lot of love to give and you will find someone new and waaaay better. I did. And I could do it, you can too. I am proud of you and I send you the best. Keep going.
@@juanmontenegro7239 Thanks mate pray we not give our hearts to people who don't value us .
I've recently been on a season of pain and hurt from my own actions.This is a good reminder for me to actually act and do things instead of just taking in information. Identifying my attachment style makes me realize more of myself and be self aware. Thank you Jem!
*just realized this video came out after my birthday and i really needed this
how is it going? how have you been doing since then...:)?
This is really cool, I have been practicing self-awareness for a year now and it is cool to see that it is a genuine thing that people do. I thought I was just a weirdo :)
I’ve been practicing being alone for 4 years. Now I don’t even want a relationship. I went from being in constant need of a partner to the other extreme
I didn’t understand why I act the way I act but this video gave me more clarity and it makes sense. I was called annoying as a child by my classmates and my opinion never mattered. I was always ignored & nobody listened to me. I always have a lot to say but I don’t say anything because of the fear of being ignored as I was when I was younger. I’m quiet most of the time and I don’t associate myself with people at school or work.
I wonder why
@@pinthtf lol. Take your negativity somewhere else.
@@pearl_r you sure I'm the one being negative?
@pinth yes, you are being negative and rude to this girl
@@yaama4868yep. I’m just sharing my experience like any other person would on social media..
suggestion: your opinion/ knowledge on social hierarchies, social ostracism etc
Wow the understanding of self is such a complacent thing thank you for sharing your wisdom you know more than most psychologists & psychiatrists put together! Your a true Oracle helping others more than you know! Thank you 🙏
Complicated not complacent sorry it’s thie predictive text and me forgetting to spell check before I post! This man has all the wisdom and help you never get in counselling or therapy the understanding of our self! Genius!
I love this series!
🙌
Ppl watching this in 2025: :.(
I am aware of being avoidant however I struggle a lot with it because as soon as I perceive anything like the person might leave me, the emotional detachment just happens automatically, and i dont know how to stop that
I’m in my late teens and im so thankful i found your channel so soon, you’ve really helped me ‘wake up’ and work on my self 3 months and i feel like a whole new person, Thank you.
How I wish to be like you man
As a hypothetically mature adult (over60,) I’m compelled to reply. Ur gratitude is not misplaced. If I had had such valuable information earlier in my life I am positive many, many people would have experienced less pain.
Wow I never understood WHY I dissociate when I'm having an argument. I literally have no idea how I feel or what I'm thinking and my partner doesn't believe me! We both watched this and understood a lot more :)
This is so cool. My attachment style used to be insecure and avoidant when I was 18-25 when I turned 25 it turned into secure attachment style and the more self work I did and learned about myself in life, I learned to develop trust for myself and others. Being 29 noq I'm so secure within myself now. Working on how to communicate with others and express your feelings take time, but its so worth it. You have honest and more long term connections through it.
so do you just not care if your S.O cheats on you or do you just plan deal with it the best you can if it happens? what kind of boundaries do you have as a secure attached?
I have an avoidant attachment style 10:48 you are so correct, I have trouble processing my emotion that I become numb sometimes. This was when I was much younger... Ive improved while Im in a relationship and it improved my life
I’m the first one. Anxious. But I love what you said about pain causing humans to change. Once i realized i was hurting my loved one because of this I really decided to change and I’m slowly but surely changing my brain to work on my emotions
I ask my husband to tell me “Good job” when I complete a project or task. Like I’m a child. Is that toxic? He doesn’t like to. I told him it just makes me feel seen for doing something really hard b/c of my adhd and cptsd. I don’t need validation for his love or loyalty. Just like some external validation😊 I didn’t get it from my momma! He has avoidant attachment style while I have disorganized
It’s important to communicate that, good job :)
This is awesome 👏🏽
Can you make a video about childhood traumas?
I wish I saw these videos while I was with my girlfriend. Now were 2 1/2 months split and I think I was definately the anxious type. I think she is the avoident type.
She's a lot more experienced than me so I'd thought she was doing the normal things and when I tried to have open conversations with her she would hide how she felt. I wish I could tell her this but I have to let her be the past and grow myself.
Any practical advice for what I can do now before my 2nd relationship will inevtably occur?
Keep working on yourself as an individual and now you know the triggers and how to react to certain situations
I’m in the exact same situation brother. It was a very tough thing to go through. I hope we both find relationships that builds us and flow how we them to
disorganized girls unite ❤️🔥
Avoidant here. Related to a lot of what you said. Disappointment hurts like hell.
I wasn’t driven to make a change 😂
It’s also a perpetual cycle, just like anxious. I’m to afraid to ask for help, whether physically emotionally, fear of being looked at as a burden. Therefore, I’m constantly exhausted trying to do everything myself.
Now, I ask for help. If someone can’t or says no, it’s alright. I don’t take it personally or attach it to my self worth. I shot my shot. It’s fine, either way.
You were born to deliver these well thought out messages, extremely helpful indeed.
Great video! Knowledge is useless unless it is applied . Our mess becomes our medicine.
🎯🎯
I don't know how this is possible, but I'm somehow the disorganized, avoidend and secure attachement type.
2:25
Imma argue a technicality; to be clear I FW your content, I don’t have a “problem” with anything here.
I appreciate your craftsmanship; and the time you put into your videos.
It means more to people than one could ever fully know.
Anyway, babies aren’t born as blank slates, a lot of our personalities, temperaments; and other aspect such as stress tolerance.
The expression, and how we interpret ourselves. what that means to us almosy is a reflection of everything mentioned above.
WHO and WHAT we are, simply exists and just is from birth, blank slate was an old hypothesis.
It doesn’t outright change what’s being said, but it adds a whole extra layer to our understanding of who we are.
Why hate what we were TOLD isn’t “okay”, if one can find a way to live that is “selfish” but adds to the world at large.
Our meaning of who we ARE, that “thing” that is the “I am” of our prospective isn’t necessarily “real” or “true”; but that ego thinks ans has convinced you of its validity.
Personally it make me think about all of the parents handing out CASES of asswhooping for the perception of a transgression.
And how or what that means for any child’s personality or how they view authority; my parents definitely didn’t make it easy any easier ask for a raise I’ll tell you that.
I have the disorganized attachment style and it's hell like I neef reassurance but at the same time I withdraw 💀. Working on it for years now and I'm definitrly better but still struggling
Great content!! Needed to hear that. Self-awareness as opposed to self-consciousness. I was overly self conscious growing up
👏🏿👏🏿
Where do you find the pictures for the thumbnails they tuff
A.I. is a good source for thumbnails.
@@captaincrp3911 you a lyrical genius then
First -- amazing to see your channel popping off! Like a month ago I was getting it suggested and the views were small, so congrats on so many videos doing great, keep going ✨ Second -- love the video as always. I think this is one of the topics I hate getting into but need to work on more. I have no attachment issues with friends, co-workers, like, I do so well in those departments but romantic relationships...oph. I get into them and it's like all the sudden a switch gets turned on (I'm in anxious attachment) and it's so hard to disconnect from those anxious thoughts that create hypothetical scenarios that just cause chaos in my brain and body. It's like I'm torturing myself mentally even when my rational self knows there's no real problem. I'm quite self aware, have done a lot to improve my toxic thoughts & feelings around men, do meditation and have experienced just what you described in your video, as just being a clean slate, connecting to source, amazing. Anyways, the universe will continue to carry me and I know I'll find myself in a better, more secure space for a relationship someday. Thank for the amazing video 🌸
Yes anxious thoughts can definitely consume you. It’s all about being bigger than them :)
As an AI I'm really glad you gave me so many informations that I didn't know
Hi Jem, I've recently discovered your channel and it's been very informative. Do you have any book recommendations for beginners?
+1
@@TheMiistpower and force
Bro thank you so much for these videos. I have a hard time understanding myself and these videos have helped me out a lot 🙏🏾
Thank you 🙏
As a toaster this really helps me identify with humans.
i used to have anxious attachment, until i started healing & now ive got the secure one :) thank u btw for explaining em all ! this rly rly helped me understand em 100%
Psychopath must love this channel
I wish when i was as young i was this emotionally intelligent. I was pretty good but you are wise beyond your years. ❤
Thank you, that means a lot 🎉
I really love this video, I wish I came across it during my last relationship. She embodies the anxious attachment style perfectly.
Insecure attachment theory has been so hard for me to get a grasp on because my parents/caregivers literally abandoned me at 5, to fend for my self, and ever since that age I became from what I can think of, an adult. None of the 4 categories really felt accurate to what i went through.
I applaud that, sounds like very hard circumstances.
@@JemVeda it has been. Educating myself on psychology, philosophy, and history has saved my life in so many ways. Why I love your channel ❤️
@@RikisVlogs
Get better. Life was never meant to be easy. We just gotta keep going with a positive spirit
🙋avoidant and disorganized
Very helpful... Explains alot... Thank you...❤
💜💜
bro id never expect myself to have a favorite youtuber but aye here we are good videos bro ur a g
Excellent work. But you missed a very important personality type - The Ligma conditioning.
Im sorry, what's ligma again?
Thinking about this really gets me anxious I start to think how I handled past relationships and how they dealt with me idk what’s the root of all this
Jem, Thank You for these videos. I stumbled upon your channel not long ago and absolutely love the content. What you described in the last 3 minutes about applying the info into life and being in the same spot in 2025 if not done so was really powerful and motivational.
Once again, thank you very much for the work you put in!
Thanks for your support! Yes, application of knowledge can change a lot in one’s life
I have noticed myself getting anxious and see that physically! I literally start shaking from anxiety whenever I communicate wth others, even though I consider myself a pretty open person and can form good relationships, i just physically get super anxious which makes me even more anxious
And yes I grew up with a yelling mom and an angry dad
random but u gotta share where u get these dope pics for the thumbnails !
Dude, I really have to do this. ;-) Awesome video, thanks for your work🙏
NO WAY ! I AM NOT A ANIMAL!
I AM A HUMAN BEING!
Bro u did that on purpose 😅😂 I see u ima b patient cus I'm workin on it lol
😂😂
Anxious/disorganized,this was really helpful
I was born in 1980, and I was not a blank slate. I carried massive trauma and didn't realize because i couldn't remember. I was 2 when my brother came, and the rage i felt didn't make sense. How crazy id get if he had corners on his jacket hood. But it makes sense now with everyone seen and unseen trying to box in, wall in, marginalize, cap and ceiling, cancel and shut down into a block chained round up of what appears to be a trip into repeating the same situation that i do not consent to,
I kinda feel like I am in therapy!
Im just starting out spiritual wise, i never really took it further to meditation because it feels like my brain is so busy. Im talking to a girl now and she’s really great. Im nervous that my attachment style would drive her away. She insists that she’s there for me in all ways possible, im 22 now and honestly I dont really plan on going anywhere else as far as girls go I’ve been in too many bad ending relationships. I watch your videos everyday before I go to work to gain more insight on myself. I am a very self aware person as far as my feelings go, but man you help me a lot. Thank you for making these videos and sharing your knowledge, these facts about the mind and body. Im learning day by day to trust more, and be okay with letting my feelings go to a good place. Again, thanks homie.
The black Jordan Peterson! Have you/are you studying psychology? What's your educational background? Love from Sweden!
Having a hard time understanding where I stand. Id be a very organized in control disorganized attatchment.
I control myself so well but also rarely show emotion but I do care deeply about people despite not being too attatched to them. Im extremely cold and yet people can feel how much I care through my actions of service and suffering for others sake. I have mourned my family that still lives and I dont live with them and leave little trace of myself. Pain is a neccessary and constant theme of how I function and helps me be good. Im at my best when Im suffering and under stress for a purpose. For my body, my life, or other people.
I feel avoidant but maybe I fight it well. I did all the work, I found the way, and I made it happen. But its thanks to others that I had the opportunity.
Yo dis changed my life ❤
I’ve struggled with disorganized attachment style,
It feels like wanting to give everything to that person but when they don’t give back enough or quick enough, my feelings towards that person do a complete 180 and i feel a need to detach myself from them.
For me it stems from the unpredictable and inconsistent behaviour from an (alcoholic) parent, and being forced to pick sides in my parents’ messy divorce. It was the lack of trust and reliability I had growing up.
Thank you, this is very helpful for me, and it's joyful and beautiful and peaceful to hang out with you
This is very helpful to me, thank you!
Amazing video, I learned new things about myself and how to improve because of this
I thought u were white fr fr fr fr😮
The algorithm lead me to you at exactly the right moment. Watched a vid of yours, liked it, & thought I'd check this one out before subscribing (there're a lot of self-help channels... I gotta be picky). Reckon you'll be the reason I get back into meditation - thankyou for reminding me of source ✌💚
This is one of the best videos I’ve watched in a while. I feel like you’re explaining everything so well, but I don’t feel called out-Just inspired to make a positive change! Thank you for making this
I usually don't communicate because I always feel like I am a bother to the person so I don't know if I'm avoidant or disorganized it's between the 2 but I don't really know what
Syncronicity forsure, this came up just less than 24 hours ago & now your video! Ty ~
Great work. Doing a fantastic job spreading the knowledge! Keep it up; world needs good peoples like you.
this is so good keep it up!!
BPD in a nutshell
casual W as usual.
This is so up my alley. Glad I found this channel
I struggle really badly with disorganized attachment, it’s an absolute nightmare
It's hard for me to get into a healthy relationship cause I have an avoidant attachment style. A lot of the times people think I just don't want to talk to them but realistically I just need my space every now and then and in a relationship a lot of people take that like it's a life or death situation. I try my best to be self aware but when I get mad or frustrated they act like they did absolutely nothing to anger/frustrate me. I'm trying my best to regulate my anger but if someone purposely tries to upset me (a lot of my exes were bipolar) then I'm the bad guy I guess? I'm hoping that I'll eventually find a healthy relationship that doesn't just overlook my attachment style and instead tries to understand.
Awesome my brother. I get it 🙏
I have done huge work in this area
I have chosen not to have a romantic partner and been a hermit
I love my own company
I have come to a place that I am open to a romantic relationship
I have had suitors approach with different red flags popping up
I choose me lol
I am not alone I am one
I choose not to engage with a partner who has not done the work
Honest two way communication and not trying to gaslight and overpower from the start
Doesn't interest me
So open to equal partnership and closed to unhealthy cycles
This is a new way to view partnership for this I am
Thank you for sharing this ❤🙏🏻❤
Well said, thanks for sharing :)
@@JemVeda you are wellcalm 💖🙏🏻💖
Thank you for sharing ☺️
Reminds me that I am on the right track
great great video!! can someone have both anxious and avoidant at the same time? .. ur also very handsome btw
I just came across your videos today and this is the second one I’m watching. Really great content. Already subscribed! Thank you.
Very well said! I'm glad I came across your videos. I'm very inspired by your collected acknowledge. You're perspectives are very insightful. I wish I could meet people like you in everyday life. Discovering reality in different aspects can get kind of lonely some times. I have developed a high self love but at the same time maybe a lot of avoidance as well.
Thank you and keep growing :)
We're not animals
I was Avoident but now I am Secure and it happened by smoking weed. No lie.
Really good video! Thank you! Liked and subscribed!
I don't believe in any of it. It's true that people can feel all that list of emotions, but there no any "styles". Take, for exmple, someone with "secure attachment style" and let them be in a relatinoship with someone who has "avoidant attachment style". It will look almost like one sided relationship, becasue avoidant won't give much work into it. And unless the first person will tolerate that behavior they won't be okay together and it puts that person in the worse place possible. I would assume they could easily turn into person with "anoxious attachment style" being with partner who doesn't do anything (even if they presumably fEeL sOmEtHiNg to the other). I think most people would like to get and give the same amount of love. So, I think those who have "avoidant attachment style" just don't want to be in a relationship at all, or want to be the one who getting attention and giving none in response.
And regarding anixety in a relationship without any reasons to it, I think it's not a "style" it's a problem, trust issues or whatever, there could be a lot of causes. So this whole categorisation is just nonsensical to me.
I would definitely join your Patreon, and I'm sure many people think the same
I finally understood what is my attachment style!
It is the disorganized one 😔
That attachment suite is dangerous i think that's a huge part of why I still battle addiction with literally any substance I can't get my hands on.
I feel ya
i just want to know.. is it possible to be all three? anxious, avoidant and disorganized? because i kind of feel like all three 💀
i feel like me being anxious attachment pushed my ex away i loved her so much but i would constantly need her time and attention 24/7