Understanding Trauma - Part 5 - Effects on the Nervous System

Поділитися
Вставка
  • Опубліковано 27 кві 2023
  • *****
    GET STARTED With a FREE Preview to our 12 Basic Needs Course: bit.ly/3UQcWeq
    Website: bit.ly/3ybk8Jf
    Do You Have Complex Trauma? Take the QUIZ: bit.ly/3QGbzMV
    *****
    Trauma has a profound effect on the Central Nervous System. It results in the Sympathetic Nervous System and the Para-Sympathetic Nervous System not working the way they were designed to work, which has many negative, far-reaching effects
    Try a FREE Preview of One of Our Online Courses: bit.ly/3UQcWeq
    *****
    Become a Member!
    Access ALL our Courses, Webinars, 1:1 Coaching, Group Coaching & Online Communities: bit.ly/3QIpDWf
    Understand the Development of Complex Trauma in Your Life
    Online Course: 12 Basic Needs
    bit.ly/3UQcWeq
    Discover how Addictions are Formed and Find Healthy Ways to Cope
    Online Course: Addictions + Complex Trauma
    bit.ly/4bbUYsL
    Learn How to Parent Yourself and a Child with Complex Trauma
    Online Course: Parent Bootcamp
    bit.ly/44RpLJ7
    Are You Ready to Begin YOUR Healing Journey? Inquire TODAY: bit.ly/3wE68at
    Ready to Dig Deep and Learn Tools to Recover From the Negative Effects of Complex Trauma?
    Online Course: LIFT Online Learning
    bit.ly/4bwZ26I

КОМЕНТАРІ • 764

  • @JJ-qt8zb
    @JJ-qt8zb Місяць тому +92

    This should be taught in schools, instead of some subjects we never use. This is so important. 🌍✌️

    • @saskiasia
      @saskiasia Місяць тому +8

      Unfortunately schools are the trauma inducing environments! People do not realize how unhealthy schools are. Find what John Taylor Gatto or Alfie Khan have to say about schooling, you'll be mind blown!

    • @pg-gm5xg
      @pg-gm5xg Місяць тому

    • @jcfanonly
      @jcfanonly 15 днів тому

      Well said!!!

    • @dreamsofturtles1828
      @dreamsofturtles1828 10 днів тому

      ​@@saskiasia Totally agree. I liked learning, but school was a nightmare. The cruelty of the students, the indifference of the staff. Even the nurse and guidance counselor were fairly useless in making it any sort of suitable environment for a students mental health.

  • @davendeere9894
    @davendeere9894 2 місяці тому +94

    Many here are talking about growing up with narcissits. Please look into Emotionally Immature parents/people. Im serious, its been a massive breakthrough for me.
    Its destroyed my life and my body. There needs to be more awareness about Emotionally Immature parents and their impact on your mental and physical health.
    Ive been releasing trauma, panic attacks, sobbing endlessly.
    I cant sleep anymore, im developing insulin resistance, inflammation in the body, constsnt tension, hypervigilance, and currently a constant state of burnout on and off for nearly my whole life. Now my burnout is permanent and im currently still living with parents for financial reasons. The trauma keeps being applied every day.
    I feel healing isnt possible but im only at the beginning of my journey. This video really has restored some hope that healing is possible, that life isnt over.
    Much love to everyone, dont give up❤

    • @berthachavira8240
      @berthachavira8240 Місяць тому +5

      Father God please heal your child in Jesus mighty name

    • @BARRYJAZZYJ23
      @BARRYJAZZYJ23 Місяць тому +4

      I'm exactly in the same place as you . Don't live with mum and dad but me and my wife are looking after them so it's all happening again .

    • @wendyjones1231
      @wendyjones1231 28 днів тому +5

      Most emotionally immature parents had emotionally immature Parents also it’s generational

    • @m1lan356
      @m1lan356 26 днів тому +1

      Go outside, ground, breathe, smile to self recreate yourself it's possible. If not working start with work from home. You are blessed.

    • @cynthiadudal9301
      @cynthiadudal9301 23 дні тому

      Yep due to trauma from childhood. My disease was arrested I was doing great then after 10 yrs of a good sober life I was hit by one trauma another trauma another trauma so many traumas that I couldn't recover I just existed now I have horrible anxiety and I shake . Started 8 years ago.

  • @DogsReignSupreme
    @DogsReignSupreme Рік тому +352

    I can't even count the number of traumas I have endured. I am now realizing that I have been freezing most of my life. I get the fear impulse, then I go frozen. It has been a battle to live any kind of life. I have been saying for about 15 years, the problem is the nervous system. I have been complaining of fatigue since my 20's and now I 59 and it is quite debilitating. I am so happy that we are learning more.

    • @shawndoyle9505
      @shawndoyle9505 4 місяці тому +25

      thanks pal same here im 54 and just starting to understand this nightmare ty

    • @AG-yj1jv
      @AG-yj1jv 3 місяці тому +28

      B12 shots, liver 2x week helps. We burn more B12 when stressed, process less. Without sufficient B12, we don't produce enough hemoglobin, become anemic. Not enough hemoglobin means we don't pick up enough oxygen. Not enough oxygen tissues slowly break down - all tissues, including brain.

    • @DogsReignSupreme
      @DogsReignSupreme 3 місяці тому

      Thanks so much. Blood levels are always reasonable. A little while back I got startled and the process to calm had changed. I remember thinking the nervous system is completely fried. @@AG-yj1jv

    • @iahelcathartesaura3887
      @iahelcathartesaura3887 3 місяці тому +12

      I totally relate to all you said. I'm 62. Hope you're gaining on it, clearing, healing & feeling well 🙂

    • @deconstructingnarcissism3062
      @deconstructingnarcissism3062 3 місяці тому +17

      I started learning about this in my late 20s (now 30) going to EMDR next week. Raised by two Malignant Narcissists. I now know what I must do to heal. I'm glad I found this out early rather than later.

  • @Monalisa0622
    @Monalisa0622 2 місяці тому +83

    My husband had intense trauma as a child. I was not aware if his addictions. Listening to this makes so much sense. He thrive in the emotional highs of life. Was always on the go and then he would crash. He was physically abusive so I had to leave 4 yrs ago. Recently he took his life. I told our child looking back I think your dad was never not in pain.

    • @happyher19
      @happyher19 2 місяці тому +11

      3:40 Im sorry about your loss .I h
      ope you can forgive him.

    • @jmvwegnerpriest
      @jmvwegnerpriest 2 місяці тому +3

    • @Monalisa0622
      @Monalisa0622 2 місяці тому +16

      @happyher19 thank you. Thank God I have forgiven him. There's lot's of hurt and anger but I have forgiven him. Only by the grace of God I can say I have. But now my babies and I have to heal. These videos are truly helping. They are listening to the videos with me. Blessings

    • @sem1663
      @sem1663 Місяць тому +4

      Im so sorry for you all 🤍 I believe he’s in peace now, watching over you guys 🤍

    • @julieamcalees2929
      @julieamcalees2929 Місяць тому +4

  • @lorizolofra3970
    @lorizolofra3970 3 місяці тому +195

    Having fibromyalgia for about 20 years now, I feel that our society requires people to constantly work, take care of family, ect. There is no way to fully recover. We have to work to survive. We can talk all we want but it's not possible to completely heal and take it easy. So we're stuck in this mode.

    • @BeforeThisNovember
      @BeforeThisNovember 3 місяці тому +49

      Hi I’d just like to chime in with my experience.
      I have it too. I got it about 5 years ago almost overnight, after being an active gym goer 4-5 times a week (haven’t been able to go since). I got so bad at one point I couldn’t walk my dog down the road without my whole body going into unbelievable exhaustion (like I’d just ran 10 marathons and then run over by a bus) for the next 2 days.
      I’ve tried many medications, diet changes - everything. You name it, I’ve most likely tried it.
      Now I’d gradually got slightly better - enough to where I could do house chores and walk my dog - nothing too physically demanding like lifting weights.
      Well about a month ago I had a highly stressful experience and I plummeted - all life force drained from me.
      Well I had an epiphany. What if it wasn’t physical (I know it feels very much physical). What if it was some crossed wires in the brain. What if telling myself that I’m sick so much that my body is believing it.
      Well I thought f**k it. This is my last chance (I can’t handle a life of being bed bound. I wouldn’t endure that). And I’ve been trying my HARDEST to maintain positive thoughts. I’ve been telling myself every day, all day, that I am NOT sick. It’s just some silly miscommunication in my brain. The mind is an EXTREMELY POWERFUL thing.
      Fast forward now. Im doing 15 pushups every other day, walking my dog twice a dog, going a little further each time. All while telling myself I’m NOT sick. I AM getting better and I WILL have my life back.
      I honestly cannot believe the progress I’ve made. Im exercising more than I have in 5 years all while going through the worst time in my life (that stressful event is ongoing, unfortunately).
      Sorry for the essay, but if this helps at least 1 person, then I’ll be ecstatic; I know how torturous this condition is. I’ve almost ended it a couple times.
      So glad I stumbled on this video - the algorithm is working for me because I’ve seen a couple others lately that supports everything I’ve said!!!!
      PLEASE try it. And please BELIEVE IT. It is true. But you have to KNOW it is.

    • @Julie-iw3mh
      @Julie-iw3mh 3 місяці тому +9

      ​@@BeforeThisNovemberwere you in the constant fight flight freeze and burn out when you started getting up and doing small things? Are you working ? I can't work as burnt out and no life at all.

    • @pure365-fr2os
      @pure365-fr2os 3 місяці тому

      @@BeforeThisNovember Im happy for your progress! Do you watch Dan's PainFreeYou channel on YT? Im asking because he teaches the stuff you talk about in your comment in his daily videos. You are absolutely right, you have to KNOW you are okay. Most chronic pain/symptoms are driven by fear. I recommend checking him out if you havent. He also posts interviews of success stories. I use his videos as a tool since i have chronic pain myself (PDP-percieved danger pain)

    • @BeforeThisNovember
      @BeforeThisNovember 3 місяці тому +9

      @@Julie-iw3mh no I haven’t been able to do a 9 to 5 since, I get burn out easily including if I have to socialise more than an hour or 2.
      Not sure what you mean by fight flight freeze, do you mean anxiety? Yes it gives me anxiety sometimes. I find if I haven’t slept very good (most nights) it make it worst.
      Yes while I’ve been more active it take it out of me but I’ve gradually been able to do a little bit more each time and I’m night and day to where I was just 4 weeks ago (and so much better than the last 5 years)
      Please try it and believe it. I promise it’ll improve.

    • @captainfrosty31
      @captainfrosty31 3 місяці тому +12

      This is so fantastic to read I'm so happy to hear the power of positive thinking is helping someone so tremendously. Changing your mindset is a key part of healing the body.
      I have a true power of belief story to add hopefully it helps the op also.
      My mum in her late 30s had cervical cancer. She beat that. In her mid 40s breast cancer. Beat that. Then in her late 50s bowl cancer. Beat that. Early 60s they found a tumour on her liver and gave her mere weeks to live. The doctor looked my dad square in the face infront of my mum and said "she is going to die, this cancer is incurable and its something you need to come to terms with" my mum was so mad that she had spoken about her to him like that, she left the doctors office and said f that when I go back in 3 weeks I'm going to be cancer free. They went to a air bnb in the middle of nowhere to switch off from the world, she point blank refused to believe it was the end and when she went back for her scan they could not find any cancer anywhere.
      Interested to hear what you think about the water experiment they did where they had two different groups of ppl sit in different rooms surrounding a glass of water. One group was told to think only positive thoughts, the other only negative. They then froze the water and put it underneath a microscope. The positive crystals were beautiful the negative broken and ugly. Knowing the fact that humans are made up of a high percentage of water I wonder what negative thoughts does to the water in our body!
      Congratulations on your success, long may it continue.
      ​@BeforeThisNovember

  • @fideldisalvo
    @fideldisalvo 3 місяці тому +51

    I felt like crying watching this.

    • @keungwan5901
      @keungwan5901 Місяць тому +4

      I got to the end and thought:
      we are so screwed.
      I find it ironic that our cities are bigger than ever,
      and paradoxically, people have never been lonelier

    • @user-jl4gh9pe8b
      @user-jl4gh9pe8b 2 дні тому

      Me too. I finally have some answers

  • @danielahTZ
    @danielahTZ 3 місяці тому +51

    My nervous system went out of balance being married to a raging narcissist for 13 years. He would literally swing from one mood to the next and fly into rages and become very threatening. I became ill and couldn’t get diagnosed until 7 years later. They thought I had lupus but thank GOD it wasn’t full blown and I was diagnosed with symptoms of autoimmune disease. His mood swings was sending my nervous system into confusion and it was like it was short circuiting. I realized I grew up walking on egg shells from my father’s rages as well. I also suffered sibling abuse from a narcissistic older sister so it was all I knew. I’m healthy now, I’m divorced, my father passed (although I don’t hold anything against him. He was a black man dealing with racism and other oppression and back then, therapy was not an option). My sister has decided to estrange herself from me and my other 2 sisters and I’m ok with that although I do have unsettling dreams about her often.

    • @AbuseFree23
      @AbuseFree23 2 місяці тому +3

      Omg
      I’m in tears
      I understand you so soooo much
      I fled my husband. I’m a wreck and not even human
      Lots of hugs

    • @danielahTZ
      @danielahTZ 2 місяці тому +2

      @@AbuseFree23Thanks for your reply. I’m doing very well now and I pray you are getting better as well 🙏🏽💕

    • @bv459
      @bv459 2 місяці тому +4

      I'm so glad you healed. God bless you.

    • @danielahTZ
      @danielahTZ 2 місяці тому +1

      @@bv459Thank you! GOD BLESS YOU as well! 🤗🙏🏽

    • @sheiladuke3289
      @sheiladuke3289 2 місяці тому +2

      ❤ Put Yourself First 😇 ❤

  • @mariaa.confortimswlcsw4193
    @mariaa.confortimswlcsw4193 11 місяців тому +484

    Honestly..... tim's body of work should be part of school curriculum for all therapeutic professionals across all the various health . I happen to be Christian in my faith so it's not problematic to me that this comes from a religious based source. However, given our current state of "tolerance" for the intolerable..... if say there should be an opening to the quality and caliber of this content and less to the potentially religious association that might stop some people from hearing this. Thank you❤

    • @daniellec2172
      @daniellec2172 3 місяці тому +32

      I'm not christian but I agree. I'm even of a demographic that a lot of christians and other abrahamic religions seem to hate and target. Yet I can tell that Tim is not one of those and he uses only the good stuff from those books. He comes from a good place. He is also not one of those dubious "famous" psychologists or psychotherapists who churn outquestionable content for clicks or who may actually be narcissists themselves (am I the only one who wonders this about certain content producers lol...). He just genuinely seems like he wants to help instead of self-promote. I'm sure he's no angel, no one is, but at least he seems genuine and authentic and just....very kind.

    • @Sojourner-cd8go
      @Sojourner-cd8go 3 місяці тому +14

      I agree. I try to never listen to his teachings unless I am able give it my full attention. You know how we sometimes listen to things while we’re doing other things. His body of work helped me really acknowledge how the soul and body overlap and is affected by all forms of trauma. There’s no way to make it out alive and on the way to healing without these tools. Man!!! That hyper vigilance! I know it well!

    • @georgiakritikos4955
      @georgiakritikos4955 3 місяці тому

      The DEVIL WORSHIPPERS AGENDA ❤IS TO HAVE EVERY ONE BREAK DOWN , HOWEVER SHORT CIRCUITES BEL0NGS TO THEM🎬❤️💯A REFLECTION OF WHAT IS HAPPENING

    • @fairygurl9269
      @fairygurl9269 3 місяці тому +4

      I Agree Health Class that Makes Sense 💞 Hopeful

    • @helenstuckyweaver5778
      @helenstuckyweaver5778 3 місяці тому +5

      Wellness Weavers, Inc will willingly host Zoom events for 60-minute sessions of the “Everyone Counts Game Show”.
      Every state in the USA have had statewide tax-funded technology, public schools, public libraries, county-state funded health & human services. The mental health & physical health systems have insurance reimbursement and nonprofits acting as a way for philanthropists of all socioeconomic levels.
      What do you think the reason is that the mental health system is kept piecemeal?

  • @TheBelleOracles
    @TheBelleOracles 3 місяці тому +56

    This is by far one of the most comprehensive, simple to understand and deeply revealing wells of information for anyone who has been unknowingly operating in this manner such as myself and many I can think of.
    I can not sufficiently give my appropriation for this amazing body of work Mr. Tim Fletcher. You absolutely and single handedly helped me to put the puzzle pieces together like never before.

  • @Boblablabla
    @Boblablabla 23 дні тому +7

    I'm 63 years old and just now realizing that I've lived my entire life like this without a solution. I've been through multiple burnouts and never knew why, until now. Better late than never. Thank you.

  • @lynnschaeferle-zh4go
    @lynnschaeferle-zh4go 3 місяці тому +10

    There’s a new layer when the stress is coming from living with a psychopath. My son has PTSD and I had anxiety and depression. I went to the hospital twice. Once I figured out who I was married to I figured out where all my friends and family went. So I had some symptoms mentioned but the psychopath was amazing. Nothing bothered him and aside from being unable to laugh, cry. His body was so regular and he could fall asleep on a dime. I laid awake unable to relax; because I was worried when the next crisis would come

  • @nancychandler768
    @nancychandler768 7 місяців тому +38

    Depression is the body’s way of coping with the need to address an overactive sympathetic nervous system and the parasympathetic nervous system stepping in to control the flow of energy.
    I never thought of that but it makes perfect sense‼️ 😮

  • @brettvictory4606
    @brettvictory4606 Рік тому +96

    He just perfectly described most of my life. Having bipolar disorder for most of my life makes a lot of sense as well. I was a pretty good student and was an avid athlete. I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop and my mom to scream at me for irrational reasons. My parents are classic boomers focused on themselves and not my brother and I. So, he turned to drugs and alcohol and ruined his life. I stuck with work and pushing myself harder and harder until I fell apart physically and emotionally. Now I am 57 and am struggling financially because my family and I have too much debt and I can’t put in the long hours anymore.

    • @punyashloka4946
      @punyashloka4946 10 місяців тому +11

      Sorry this happens to you , hope you are okay now. Focus on your healing it will also positively impact your financial life.

    • @davidcrawford9026
      @davidcrawford9026 10 місяців тому +4

      There's no such thing as bipolar

    • @nikkisigmon8090
      @nikkisigmon8090 10 місяців тому +13

      @@davidcrawford9026 not helpful

    • @judylyoness2290
      @judylyoness2290 8 місяців тому +6

      @@davidcrawford9026 Can you tell us why you believe bipolar is not a real condition?

    • @davidcrawford9026
      @davidcrawford9026 8 місяців тому

      @@judylyoness2290 no empirical, unbiased way to test for it, it like all other dsm diagnosis' are just made up by a committee based on bad research and vibes. Any ole braindead c student of a therapist can stick you with that label in your medical history if they happen to not like you. It's not real, it's made up to sell drugs and control people

  • @turner2952
    @turner2952 11 місяців тому +156

    This is an outstanding channel; thank you for all the great work you do!
    I can totally relate to this vid. I have childhood PTSD. Had a very abusive dad, mom had health issues. I pretty much had to be the parent to my mother when I was a child. Because of the way I was raised, I became a perfectionist and people pleaser. I was always an outstanding employee and felt that I had to do everything perfectly or I would be punished. Now that I'm retired, I am finally able to do what I want to do, when I want to do it. I am an extreme introvert and love being alone. I think I'm making up for all those years where I did everything for others and neglected my own needs.

    • @Nurturing2
      @Nurturing2 11 місяців тому +18

      This resonates!!! WOW!!! Sending you love & light, my friend. We aren’t alone. ♥️❤️♥️

    • @alexisgilley3948
      @alexisgilley3948 9 місяців тому +9

      Sending love your way. ❤

    • @24-7flounderproblem
      @24-7flounderproblem 3 місяці тому +9

      Ditto....and Amen 🙏 I'm only 50 and I'm just starting to live my life...sad.

    • @SuntoSet77
      @SuntoSet77 3 місяці тому +13

      Yes,, your story is mine n add , 5 siblings I mothered as my Mom laid there broken from my Dads abuse.. he abused us kids severely.n I felt if I was nice to him n cook his meals he wouldn’t beat us . I was 7 yrs old with this theory. It worked sometimes for a while. I over mothered my daughter, thank God we survived me doin that n she loves n forgives me, My spouse I am of course codependent with but it’s off balance n has been toxic. All the things you describe with a few different spices sprinkled in.. many come from similar starts. At 55 all that fatigue was discovered to be a rare cancer , stage 4 head neck cancer, never smoked or drank. Miss goody two shoes. She never spoke up for herself.. so I lost parts of my mouth in the cancer , and I’ve been fighting recovery n new health issues from Chemo n radiation. I’m 62 now .. I’m tiny but a fighter., I should have been gone 10 times in last 5 years. I won’t leave my daughter n my 11yr old dog. Lol. This is great video.. so informative! I will pray for us all ,

    • @goblinsRule
      @goblinsRule 3 місяці тому +2

      ​@@SuntoSet77we are all born fighters from our birth, and stay that way until our last breath

  • @Lioness_of_Gaia
    @Lioness_of_Gaia Рік тому +100

    My home was run with a similar outlook on love and ultra-service. Us kids were dropped for most anything else the church community needed.
    My mom was a great cook and baker. We'd ask her, "Who's this for?", when she'd make a beautiful dish or dessert. We knew the one she made with care wasn't for us.
    For decades, I felt I was lazy if I had much energy before bedtime.
    Now, in burn out, I struggle with shame and frustration.
    This really helped me in ways I've been searching for.
    I appreciate this channel and the wonderful group of fellow healing path travelers. ❤️‍🔥

    • @krisangel7080
      @krisangel7080 Рік тому +10

      The social hive mind, more important that family. Wrong

    • @Lioness_of_Gaia
      @Lioness_of_Gaia Рік тому +8

      @@krisangel7080You're absolutely right, It's very wrong to put the social hive mind above family.

    • @maryfarrell9439
      @maryfarrell9439 Рік тому +13

      I feel you. My parents gave all to the church and community before their 6 children.
      Like, why have children if you’re just going to ignore them and make them feel guilty for taking up space and resources?
      It really is what they learned as how to be good people.

    • @Lioness_of_Gaia
      @Lioness_of_Gaia 11 місяців тому +2

      @@maryfarrell9439 💙

    • @wombat7961
      @wombat7961 4 місяці тому +4

      Jesus fucking Christ I relate to this so much im glad as we got older it stopped about being the church, but it was still narcissism that allowed mom to keep up appearances for the greater community. Like she never turned it around and invested in her children, spoke our language, made it work in a career... Like her baggage was enormous and I think eventually she drove every man away from home we are all men in this house

  • @arianajoy1090
    @arianajoy1090 3 місяці тому +15

    I've done years of psychotherapy, doctors, etc.. I really appreciate competent people. Thank you. 💫 This really synthesized the last 40 years in this skin suit. Mad respect! Blessed be. 💫

  • @mitzy47
    @mitzy47 Рік тому +75

    Tim you are phenomenal. Thank you for all you do.

  • @yearofthegarden
    @yearofthegarden 3 місяці тому +26

    This is such a valuable set of knowledge, I have been suffering from this level of existence my whole adult life and only at 37 is it becoming more and more understandable how I got myself into the situation that I am in. Personally I have dealt with abandonment issues my whole life, first it was growing up where my parents thought I was deaf until I was about 4 when the doctor told them I was probably mimicking their absent behavior and ignoring them. They were always putting me in day cares, even on the weekend I got put in branch of islam's childrens care in the government projects where every kid there was either an orphan or was abandoned by their parents while they were there, and when I went to ask why my friends would disapear I always got shhhed. Growing up in my house I learned to be alone and quiet, because anything I presented to my father got dejected, and I was ignored a lot, and my mother would always threaten to send me to boarding school, or say things like "if the world ever runs out of food you'll be the first to die". This level of trauma as a kid caused me to make friends with other kids in similar non-parental oversight lives, we had a trauma bond, and the slipper slope started when the first self deleted was my friend's dad, and the way it was introduced to me was being invited over the day it happened but not told until we arrived back at his house from wandering the streets all day, after that I never saw him. Then through highschool and after all but one of my close friends self deleted themselves, and a girl I was friends with since middleschool, and was highschool sweethearts with broke up with me the day after we lost our virginity together, after being toghether for almost 3 years. Also I flunked highschool because my highschool counselor was a gay man who purposefully told my parents to ignore me and let me figure life out by myself, and was trying to groom me into coming to his property, something I dealt with long after I left highschool, as he had also done the same and was successful with a few other guys in my class. Not only that but my favorite middleschool teacher is in prison for the same reason, so all of my male rolemodels have been predators. Also I became a professional paintball player as a kid, where adrenaline and high performance workouts were something I was addicted to, to the point that I barely felt the effects of adrenaline, and kept becoming more and more extreme in my performance to achieve it.
    This is about the only therapy I get, writing comments to myself as a way of processing the impacts of what I've been through after learning new knowledge about how my body was implicated and caused me to make the decisions I have made. These days I've been farming for most of my adult life, which has been therapeutically great because being in tune with the cycles of seasons and crops, watching nothing turn into food that I sell to people who look forward to my hard work, has been addicting, as I've been doing it by myself for over a decade, and throughout my 20s I was essentially working 14-16 hours a week with no days off until I would burn out every year, then I would suffer massive depression all winter and by spring be overwhelmingly excited to start again. I've climbed as high as I can in my pursuit, I can grow anything from cantaloupe to mushrooms, to salad, and I perform at such high quality I have existed on million dollar horse farms owned by chinese hotel moguls, or tech business CEO's who want the best quality food for their kids. But at 37 I can no longer go nonstop, and have to relearn how to take time for myself, because the formula doesn't work anymore, and I don't make enough money to afford stability, so am stuck working for people who don't value my knowledge or technique and quality, but I also got a job managing dentist servers and IT support, but I know if I leave farm life I will become severely depressed because money can buy stability, but it cant afford the quality of variety of life I'm accustomed to.
    Thanks for posting the talk, I learned a lot about it, things I wish I knew when I was a kid.

  • @verumbellator6899
    @verumbellator6899 Рік тому +74

    Your hard work and your love of humanity, in order to help so many, is appreciated deeply!

  • @ericnewport941
    @ericnewport941 3 місяці тому +34

    I told my gf tonight that cptsd causes frequent shame triggers, especially in public/in social contexts. That shame feeling is such a viscerally painful sensation, it's almost like my nervous system is being frozen. I feel heavy, like every cell is aching with a deep, burning, heavy coldness, and I feel like I'm moving through thick mud. It's so hard not to spiral downwards when that happens. I am nervous and curious about mitigating this effect so I can have a more enjoyable, productive, engaged life.

    • @our.secret1130
      @our.secret1130 3 місяці тому +2

      Relatable

    • @mwolf2620
      @mwolf2620 3 місяці тому +2

      lol lucky the moment i told my gf that sometimes i get so anxious i cant function she told me how is that supposed to make me feel and 3 months later she dumped me.

    • @ericnewport941
      @ericnewport941 3 місяці тому +4

      ​​@@mwolf2620 man, I'm really sorry to hear that... It's so unfortunate when people take our confiding as a personal threat... All I can say is that you dodged a bullet, as shitty as it may feel now... If she really had your back, she would probably have tried to be more understanding... I've had a few girlfriends in the past who ended up not having my back in the way I thought they did. I'm so lucky now to be with someone who truly does. It's a real gift, but I believe many of us get there over time, and the trials on the way teach us who to trust and who not to... I believe you will or can find the right one for you... They are out there. Best wishes to you, sir.

    • @emmabby22
      @emmabby22 2 місяці тому +3

      @@mwolf2620 you’re better off cause you’ll meet someone better 💕

    • @jmvwegnerpriest
      @jmvwegnerpriest 2 місяці тому +1

      @@mwolf2620 ♥She’s not the right one for you.

  • @BeforeThisNovember
    @BeforeThisNovember 3 місяці тому +43

    Hi I’d just like to chime in with my fibromyalgia / chronic fatigue / ME experience.
    I have it too. I got it about 5 years ago almost overnight, after being an active gym goer 4-5 times a week (haven’t been able to go since). I got so bad at one point I couldn’t walk my dog down the road without my whole body going into unbelievable exhaustion (like I’d just ran 10 marathons and then run over by a bus) for the next 2 days.
    I’ve tried many medications, diet changes - everything. You name it, I’ve most likely tried it.
    Now I’d gradually got slightly better - enough to where I could do house chores and walk my dog - nothing too physically demanding like lifting weights.
    Well about a month ago I had a highly stressful experience and I plummeted - all life force drained from me.
    Well I had an epiphany. What if it wasn’t physical (I know it feels very much physical). What if it was some crossed wires in the brain. What if telling myself that I’m sick so much that my body is believing it.
    Well I thought f**k it. This is my last chance (I can’t handle a life of being bed bound. I wouldn’t endure that). And I’ve been trying my HARDEST to maintain positive thoughts. I’ve been telling myself every day, all day, that I am NOT sick. It’s just some silly miscommunication in my brain. The mind is an EXTREMELY POWERFUL thing.
    Fast forward now. Im doing 15 pushups every other day, walking my dog twice a day, going a little further each time. All while telling myself I’m NOT sick. I AM getting better and I WILL have my life back.
    I honestly cannot believe the progress I’ve made. Im exercising more than I have in 5 years all while going through the worst time in my life (that stressful event is ongoing, unfortunately).
    Sorry for the essay, but if this helps at least 1 person, then I’ll be ecstatic; I know how torturous this condition is. I’ve almost ended it a couple times.
    So glad I stumbled on this video - the algorithm is working for me because I’ve seen a couple others lately that supports everything I’ve said!!!!
    PLEASE try it. And please BELIEVE IT. It is true. But you have to KNOW it is.

    • @GUCC1197
      @GUCC1197 3 місяці тому +1

      You are the placebo, Joe Dispenser

    • @BeforeThisNovember
      @BeforeThisNovember 3 місяці тому

      @@GUCC1197 was this comment intended to help someone?

    • @xandermansmom1
      @xandermansmom1 3 місяці тому +2

      The mind is a powerful thing. I get overwhelmed with depressive thoughts. Recently, I had a new development where the depression hit me so hard that my body hurt and I felt complete exhaustion. My mind tends to obsess and circle with negative thoughts so I have to distract myself. That particular night, I turned on the tv and watched a Christian comedian I had seen before named Tim Hawkins. I laughed so hard I couldn’t breathe. My body stopped hurting and the exhaustion left my body.

    • @shakirasmith6454
      @shakirasmith6454 3 місяці тому +2

      You literally just helped me, I can not thank you enough!! 🙌🏾🙏❤️❤️. I just realized I talk so negatively to myself, no wonder I’m having such harsh physical symptoms. Thank you so much for sharing your story❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️.

    • @BeforeThisNovember
      @BeforeThisNovember 3 місяці тому +1

      @@shakirasmith6454 that’s amazing I’m so happy it’s helped you.
      Our thoughts really are so powerful. May you continue to improve until full recovery, I know you will 🙏🤍

  • @ImaginarySusan
    @ImaginarySusan Місяць тому +4

    Tim's reference to Gabor Mate' really solidified his credibility.
    Gabor Mate' should be on EVERYONES bookshelf!

  • @trinawitte8625
    @trinawitte8625 Рік тому +47

    This video is such a tremendous resource! Thank you for putting it out there for those of us who desperately need it 🤗

  • @sarafantaye9591
    @sarafantaye9591 3 місяці тому +22

    How can we thank you for helping many of us Mr. Tim Fletcher ? Please accept my deepest and warmest thanks !

  • @valmarshall4849
    @valmarshall4849 Рік тому +30

    Wow I feel like you just hit me over the head with what I am going through. I had the same parents as you did in their work ethics, however they were also both alcoholics and the rules were always changing. My life has always been a Rollercoaster of strong work ethic then collapse. I am 61 and have been off work for over 3 years and so frustrated with myself. I eat healthy and feel like I am doing things right but my body keeps shutting down. Doctors only want to medicate but I refuse due to all the side effects. I don't smoke or drink and no drugs. From the outside I look like I have everything together and yet I always feel like the shoe is about to drop and everything will explode. Thank you for this video

    • @seanguzy9601
      @seanguzy9601 3 місяці тому +2

      Bro, smoke weed, it will help big time.

  • @healthsecretsofthebible.7004
    @healthsecretsofthebible.7004 2 місяці тому +4

    I have a Garmin sports watch that tells me the state of my autonomic nervous system. I've been using breathing exercises and resting to get into the parasympathetic system. It works.

  • @user-wz4we3cv1s
    @user-wz4we3cv1s 3 місяці тому +11

    This is so true. I always felt like I was bad if I didn't take care of everyone else, and never took care of me.

  • @MissiJade
    @MissiJade Місяць тому +2

    I am so so so extremely grateful for this wonderful human. I have been in severe burnout for five years from my partner passing in front of me and the walls came down from severe childhood abuse and abandonment and am now on disability. I still can’t rest. I have also been sober for this five year period. Not a single drink. I am now not sure how I can stop from not sitting still
    . Due to discovering these videos and Mr Fletcher,s teaching I am learning how to deal with my diagnosis of CPTSD. My gratitude is enormous. Thank you from the bottom of my heart ❤️ I am bawling my eyes out as I write this because I have felt so alone the majority of my life because when you are on your own from age 15, you don’t learn how to deal with anything so you isolate and don’t let anyone in. When I realised that so many people go through this, first my heart broke, and now all I wanna do is help others because I’m an artist and I want to teach people that painting is so healing.

  • @breannaarcher2481
    @breannaarcher2481 2 місяці тому +11

    The end of this video frustrates me because those of us with toxic family members do not experience connection and it's not that easy. When we have low energy ect to make new relationships. That's where I'm at I feel so completely alone and fighting daily mentally and physically and it's not getting better because I have no community I have no help I'm always alone. 😢

    • @stern4141
      @stern4141 Місяць тому +1

      The only way out is through. Go back and listen to the prior videos in order again and work on building up the routines and connections to others. Nobody says this is easy.

    • @teachertrevor1251
      @teachertrevor1251 Місяць тому +1

      You aren't alone, Breanna. I feel the same; I think many do. I don't have many connections but I can build in moments in every day where I can choose to not be stressed and i use that time to breathe and enjoy sitting and feeling the day around me. It's beautiful! I bet you can do it!
      Go easy on yourself, Breanna - you are awesome.

    • @NattyByNature-
      @NattyByNature- Місяць тому +2

      You’re not alone on this ❤

    • @misspeach3755
      @misspeach3755 Місяць тому

      Don't give up on yourself, beloved! Change is hard, but it can be done. Jesus has helped me tremendously. He's helped me heal and be more conscious about connections to others (and withdraw from those that hurt me over and over again). It's tough and I still need a lot of alone time (prayer!), but "normalcy" is a choice you can make every day! 🧡

    • @laurieso678
      @laurieso678 28 днів тому

      You are not alone. We are in this together. Sending you so much love and support ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

  • @charlottehewson9522
    @charlottehewson9522 3 місяці тому +7

    Also, what a beautiful pace and tone of voice. Not once patronising (as some in the medical profession) but careful and confident in your delivery. A natural communicator. 🙏

  • @radiantheartwoman
    @radiantheartwoman 2 місяці тому +6

    My god 13min in and my life has never been so accurately described 😭

  • @FlowerFestival
    @FlowerFestival 3 місяці тому +4

    This explains a lot. I know them well: anxiety, depression, fear, panic, and burnout

  • @simplypositiveme
    @simplypositiveme 4 місяці тому +8

    I really love Tim's channel. It makes me feel human. 😮

  • @taylorwright2777
    @taylorwright2777 Місяць тому +2

    Well excuse the hell out of me….you just described something I live with every day & struggle to put in words… perfectly said.
    I have been going to therapy now going on three-years , and I’m in school now to become a mental health counselor for reasons just like this… to let people know they’re not alone, to signify the importance of understanding mental health.
    Thank you.

  • @Andy_JJ
    @Andy_JJ 2 місяці тому +3

    This is so strange. They say that ADHDers also have paradoxical reactions to adrenaline, noradrenaline, etc., just like PTSD. There's a huge symptom overlap, too

  • @russianaloha4576
    @russianaloha4576 Рік тому +27

    Wild! Hes describing me to a T!!! I have had anxiety since i was 11, alcoholism for 30years, (over 5 years sober), chronic pain for at least 20, and PTSD from a gunshot wound 6years...insomnia is No Joke! I haven't slept in 6 years- only when i literally crash after about a week awake straight. Drs wont help me even sleep, its INSANE! Pain management isnt managing my pain so im in the constant ball of shit! I already know im gonna die in the next 10years- not cuz i want to,but cuz my body is gonna give up, or my mind is gonna Snap! Or both...Scary how he explained it All, this literally is my life!!!

    • @johnCjr4671
      @johnCjr4671 3 місяці тому +5

      Sorry , All I know is that serious exercise helps me sleep . Also GABA supplement lowers anxiety by calming the brain . Also lowering screen time on computers & phones . Praying for some relief for you . ❤

    • @SuperReznative
      @SuperReznative 3 місяці тому

      Been there 29 years ago, Repent and know Jesus, to be saved ( we all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God) We all are eventually face death,but while we are alive,we can choose our eternity. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you rest. Being sober is a great step, There are some things that aid to feel sleepy, chamomile tea, eating celery hot ( cream celery soup) Get alot of sunshine ( through eyes) during the day, is how the brain produces melatonin which it uses at night ( bedtime) Find some professional help, specialists . Pray/ read the Bible ,in the morning...then again read / pray in Jesus name,at the ends of your day. Cast your cares upon Him.vGood relaxing praise music or joyful accustic music Take time to do the things you enjoy , hobby, Trust in the Lord through out and when you turn in.

    • @katiefaith5381
      @katiefaith5381 3 місяці тому +1

      May the GOD of heaven and earth invade your weary heart and mind with a PEACE that passes all understanding ❤

    • @nachtfalter74.d
      @nachtfalter74.d 3 місяці тому

      hello. maybe a polyvagal theory therapist may be able to help you. it targets the nervous system directly..
      if your into believing in healing through god... please search for bruno groening (healer) .. on youtube is his documentary (3 parts) and there are circles all over the world.. its not a sect. its just about healing . i wish you the very best luck and health!! lg andrea

    • @rebeccaerb9935
      @rebeccaerb9935 3 місяці тому

      Saying a little prayer for you
      You can use plants and soothing medicine to help heal all this stress.
      Check out tryptophan supplements..
      Kratom tea can be sometimes helpful. Probiotics also are very helpful. These may take a little while to see results but after awhile you will be able to relax and not be so on high guard. I'm so sorry that you have been thru so much! I hope and pray for rest and healing for you and for you to find solace and relief and restoration! And anything that you find interest in that brings you creativity and joy ❤

  • @lavenderkisses9461
    @lavenderkisses9461 Рік тому +11

    Omg I forgot for how many years I just felt “bored” when trying to heal-I don’t feel that way anymore

  • @resiliencycoping7119
    @resiliencycoping7119 2 місяці тому +4

    Amazing description of trauma and what happens to our nervous system.

  • @SoulShyt
    @SoulShyt 3 місяці тому +5

    14:16 the universe has a crazy way of showing me what I need to see when I need to see it. Wow.

  • @jmyerxa
    @jmyerxa Рік тому +43

    Fantastic video. So very helpful to understand how people with relatively happy childhoods can present with complex PTSD. It helps me understand people so much better. Thank you for all your amazing videos.

    • @GaslightingIsEvil
      @GaslightingIsEvil 3 місяці тому

      People always try to blame the parents when really it's not. For me the only time I felt safe was as a child with my parents. I could only relax when I was at home away from everyone else

    • @seanguzy9601
      @seanguzy9601 3 місяці тому

      ​@@GaslightingIsEvil Uh , lmao 🤣

    • @seanguzy9601
      @seanguzy9601 3 місяці тому +2

      ​@@GaslightingIsEvil Complex issue lmao I'm glad your parents made you feel safe. What I'm learning is, rich spoiled children get ptsd because mom bought them the red bike instead the blue one you wanted lol

    • @GaslightingIsEvil
      @GaslightingIsEvil 3 місяці тому +1

      @@seanguzy9601 my parents weren't rich...? But well done on proving my point about people making assumptions

    • @GaslightingIsEvil
      @GaslightingIsEvil 3 місяці тому

      You shouldn't have given them acknowledgement for those comments. They're obviously a troll. Why would me saying I felt more safe around my parents mean I am rich and spoiled? Surely every child should feel like that.. it's not my fault if he obviously didnt

  • @maryfarrell9439
    @maryfarrell9439 Рік тому +53

    This makes every bit of sense to me.
    I have long covid. But after a lifetime of complex trauma. No wonder my nervous system couldn’t cope.
    I wish the doctors at the long covid clinic would watch this. The therapists who have been helping me most are not doctors but psychologist, osteopath and occupational therapist and nutritionist who completely understand the nervous system and the damage undid to mine with past relationships, stresses, personality, coping mechanisms and cptsd.
    It’s a long road to healing. Slowing down has been the hardest but most critical part of it for me. I’m still working on fully accepting it, and gannet managed to get past the rollercoaster of feeling better then crashing…but this video renews my faith that it’s possible. The visibly you gave of the two systems working is really helpful for me.

    • @sabine3769
      @sabine3769 3 місяці тому

      Long covid is actually vaccine injury. They are lying to cover this Truth. Vaccines create spikes and don't turn off. Dr John Campbell has been diligently reporting bringing us the horror of these gene therapies.

    • @hannahpricekarlsson
      @hannahpricekarlsson 3 місяці тому +6

      Wow! I have long covid & cptsd also! It hadn’t clicked for me that the two could be related! That actually makes so much sense to me. ❤

    • @maryfarrell9439
      @maryfarrell9439 3 місяці тому +2

      @@hannahpricekarlsson sorry you have long covid. CPTSD often translates into over achievement in the workforce too…basically never saying no…leading to burnout….i had those characteristics too even before covid. It’s like every cell of your being is just crying out constantly to be accepted and loved by everyone or anyone. I get exhausted just thinking about it.
      Sometimes I try to imagine what it would be like to be ‘normal’…to have lived a normal childhood, without constant fear and threat and with protection and tenderness. Just a different world.
      I don’t think those scars ever leave us..I think it’s deeply imbedded in our DNA.
      Long covid is very much associated also with neurodiversity, again hand in hand with the over achievers and CPTSD.
      I e never been diagnosed or assessed for neurodiversity, but some of the techniques I use to calm my nervous system are the same as those used for people with ADHD and autism to help cope in over stimulating environments.
      I think it’s all rooted in our nervous system. Vagal theory is very interesting, and explains a lot of this too.
      Good luck with your long covid. I hope they find a cure for us soon.

    • @crouchingwombathiddenquoll5641
      @crouchingwombathiddenquoll5641 3 місяці тому +4

      Is long covid a vaccine injury ?

    • @greatnationnow
      @greatnationnow 3 місяці тому +5

      Diddo! Make sure to add in spike destroying supplement's!! The clotting is real!!

  • @ashleyhamilton4951
    @ashleyhamilton4951 24 дні тому +1

    Every single video of his I watch brings another level of understanding of my own self and the realization that my childhood has followed me into adulthood. It's maddening people asking why you do the things you do when you wish you knew the answer yourself.

  • @bigladybigfeet9728
    @bigladybigfeet9728 2 місяці тому +5

    I’ve learned a lot about myself from watching Tim’s videos over the last couple of days, mostly that my refusal to go along with family dysfunction turned me into a problem child scapegoat, and how my oppositional ways are ruining my relationships now. Thank you for helping me gain insight 😘

  • @sueklick
    @sueklick Місяць тому +2

    Finding this video, having someone describe my exact cycle and inform me that I am not alone is heartbreaking yet wonderful to know that I am not alone in this battle. I just want to heal.

  • @beadingbelle3486
    @beadingbelle3486 7 місяців тому +14

    This is the best explanation i have heard of how trauma has affected me for most of my life (for the ladt 50yrs). I had all (& still have some) of the symptoms & sensations mentioned (without the drugs), & doctors over the years have not known what on earth is wrong sith me &have treatwd me like a parriah, even throwing me off their books - one telling me i was too ill for him to treat (& this from one who 'had a special interest' in trauma - which, by definition, surely means he had at least sone expertise in the field). I am thankful that i now have much more understanding of what is happening to my body & brain, & have some idea od how best to proceed with my healing journey, albeit late in the day. Also, most of those who caused all the stress & trauma have now passed away so i am no longer constantly in it. Thank you for sharing your knowledge & expertise with us - i, too, believe this sort of thing should be on the educational curriculum, & all those training in the medical profession should have this as part of their training, regardless of what field they choose in which to qualify. Thankbyou again.

  • @sharijames9622
    @sharijames9622 2 місяці тому +2

    Tim is excellent. At 63 I'm still in burnout and recovering has no lapse of memory. I process thousands of abuse, trauma, neglect, betrayal which has been the Trust is pain. I have the Divine Mercy Jesus, I trust in you, which has saved my mind, body and soul. Boundaries have eliminated any social life even new encounters are not love. I found no contact sucks with my family, they were my life even through working and professional career. They are all oblivious to my extreme CPTSD seeing they caused the final outcome of disability coping with triggers. Thank God I found healing and I still suffer new abuse and trauma regularly unless I am in adoration with Jesus

  • @cupcake0480
    @cupcake0480 2 місяці тому +2

    For all those for who this video resonates, may I recommend looking into breathwork. The way we breath after trauma changes and has an effect on our whole body, this is often without even realising how we are have picked up the habit of breathing incorrectly. Getting a better breathing pattern and using breathing practice can make a lot of difference to the nervous system.

  • @Arthurnate
    @Arthurnate Рік тому +20

    So illuminating, I'm going to need to watch your whole series!

  • @user-ex8xf9fr7u
    @user-ex8xf9fr7u 3 місяці тому +3

    Recently I've been exploring the (possible) connection between PTSD and vestibular migraines/vestibular symptoms and POTS phenomena. I have all the above and noticed that when I'm triggered by something these symptoms will flare up. Its like a storm takes over my body, and of course my heart will also race/blood pressure will spike.

  • @yolandaburrage4848
    @yolandaburrage4848 3 місяці тому +11

    This is why a lot of people turn to drugs and when they first use drugs and it gives them some kind of relaxation with some kind of piece of rest they dive into it and this is why people will complex trauma or any kind of trauma dive into drugs

    • @lynnbaker2336
      @lynnbaker2336 Місяць тому

      There are people who go through severe trauma and don't turn to drugs/ alcohol.

    • @JoleneSmart-uy1zm
      @JoleneSmart-uy1zm 24 дні тому

      Yup traumatic childhood , lived alone since aged 15, heroin addict at 16 and got clean aged 25-35 and now I’m 46 and just again back on methadone to get clean again - FML

    • @juburr9750
      @juburr9750 12 днів тому

      I think I been doing this but with alcohol.. :/ which makes it worst after a while..

  • @WildAntics13
    @WildAntics13 3 місяці тому +10

    This is so amazing! After giving birth to my daughter alone in the hospital I never been the same again! From then on I become very workaholic after pregnancy! Because I need my daughter and me to survive! I work for hours and hours! After I lost my job I lost my body as well I suddenly get sick and have no energy to even get out of the bed my mind total shutdown! I realize i was not able to face my emotions during that time I brushed it off and just work now my body is overwhelmed with stress and fear! Im on the way to recovery and meditation helps a lot

    • @mayaj4846
      @mayaj4846 3 місяці тому +2

      I'M sorry 😢

    • @byekk2251
      @byekk2251 3 місяці тому

      This is exactly my situation. After having my daughter I was always working to provide stability and finally could afford a mortgage. Then disaster struck and I lost my job. Sunk into depression and old traumas resurfaced. I've quit my e-cig, and really listened to how other things might trigger me. If I don't do it now I'll go to that dark place again.
      Good luck with your health and wishing you a happy, and calmer future ❤

  • @SMMore-bf4yi
    @SMMore-bf4yi 3 місяці тому +6

    Dozens times dozens of podcasts I’ve watched…why haven’t I heard this & why isn’t this taught to all,
    Takes a mighty lot to impress me.
    Starting with kids by the age of 13 yrs as a
    & prioritised school subject. 🤙

  • @SeaBug72
    @SeaBug72 3 місяці тому +7

    You are the best at explaining the cycles that we go through

  • @susanmercurio1060
    @susanmercurio1060 2 місяці тому +3

    I remember reading an article in Psychology Today titled "Beyond Serotonin" which said that children exposed to trauma had changes in their nervous system, specifically the myelin sheath of the nerves which dissolved.

    • @tomsale5142
      @tomsale5142 2 місяці тому

      My mum had severe ms I have fybromyalgia surely it would show in mri like ms we both have asperger's which means nervous system us very perfectionist

  • @jessicathrasher2692
    @jessicathrasher2692 2 місяці тому +6

    I’m 46 and was just awarded disability.
    My main complaint was PTSD.
    I applied in 2021.
    In early 2023, before I even had a disability hearing.
    I was almost killed in a car accident.
    My 4 year old and I were both almost killed.
    I missed my disability hearing because I was still wheelchair bound.
    I got a new lawyer and appealed.
    We finally had our hearing on 2/7.
    My judge was impressive.
    It’s been such a messed up decade for me.
    I’ve only had glimmers of happiness here and there.
    Hoping I can be the woman I was before my husband had affairs while I was pregnant.

  • @traceyodonnell1969
    @traceyodonnell1969 2 місяці тому +3

    I've never connected to anything more than this video.

  • @icaniwillishallella9776
    @icaniwillishallella9776 2 місяці тому +3

    Thanks so much for putting this series online for free. I've learned so much.

  • @Taurusboy07
    @Taurusboy07 Рік тому +10

    Thanks for being the professional you are. This is very helpful for me. Having experienced many traumatic events, sometimes I feel paralyzed due to my sympathetic and parallel sympathetic nervous system is at war.

  • @victorsofcircumstancesonso1606
    @victorsofcircumstancesonso1606 3 місяці тому +5

    He just compiled the information laid out by those before us. And for that, I thank him.

  • @leeflee4403
    @leeflee4403 Місяць тому +1

    crap, I was raised the same way. I come from a family who all have that solid work ethic. They were the folks who literally built this country and they were darn proud of it and passed it down a few generations. So here I am living 60+ years in my parasympathetic system. Now that I've identified it I can bring about an adjustment. I must say that I am uncomfortable doing nothing - too much guilt involved. Looking to move forward. Thanks so much for this vid.

  • @noelzydee2636
    @noelzydee2636 3 місяці тому +6

    😢😢😢😢 everything he has said is literally what I've dealt with for years and still dealing with but I'm so fatigued I'm pushing through to keep up. Now I understand why I am the way I am. OMG. I need help.

    • @Enoch940
      @Enoch940 3 місяці тому +1

      Ok its hard but i went through it. Here is your help. You need life changing habits. Eat only 2 healthy meals per day. Start walking 6000 steps per day. Drink 2 liters water per day. Meditate half hour after work. Stay on your bed 8 hours per day. TV only 2 hours per day. Sit in sun for hour each day. Fruit good. Eat protein daily. Rest rest rest. Fit this into your work day. Dont let anyone get you down. Ignore them. Listen to music , birds , running water. You must save yourself. Only you can do it. The tools are available. Explain to partner and they must cooperate. Smile at everyone and everything. Fake it till you make it. Love .

    • @thiasoul210
      @thiasoul210 3 місяці тому

      Same!!!

  • @etripp111
    @etripp111 20 годин тому

    I've been in "therapy" for almost a decade. I'm 57 years old and have a VERY similar backstory as Tim. I appreciate everything he's said and can relate to almost all of it. If he changed a few details, he'd be telling my story. The biggest issue I have with the series thus far is not talking about the elephant in the room; religion itself, specifically evangelical Christianity. I'm not bashing it, but for me, that is actually the ROOT of my trauma. I'd really appreciate it if Tim, or somebody else, would address that in a respectful manner.

  • @fluffers7997
    @fluffers7997 Місяць тому +1

    Last year I found myself on a plane to visit my best friend in a foreign country for a month. It was either that or unalive myself because of how miserable I was. Thanks to these videos from you and others I'm starting to realize how I got into that state. Mom was a depressed alcoholic (she died from cancer 2 yrs ago) and dad is a narcissist. Mom would yell at me all day, then switch to dad when he got home. Sometimes he got so mad he hit her. Sometimes in the morning I'd find her blood on the floor. Despite all this I convinced myself they weren't bad parents because they never hit me and I never went hungry or homeless. It didn't help both of them made everyone think we had this amazing affluent life so they would hit me with harsh criticism when I didn't line up with this idealized image. With each year I found myself increasingly tired and depressed/anxious to the point that not even eating a nice meal made me feel better. Like even food I KNEW tasted good was flavorless to me. Any bit of drama or bad news would mess me up with panic attacks for days. That's why I decided to see my friend because if I was going to take myself out I wanted to see her in person at least once.
    Something about being on the other side of the world from all of that drama gave me the best sleep I've ever had. I was passing out the instant I laid down. Few times I woke up with a dead phone in one hand and the charging cable in the other because I fell asleep before I could even plug it in. Realized I felt safe and free for the first time surrounded by happy normal people. I didn't worry about dad calling me up to yell or give orders or complain about how he's tired of working (because he bought an airplane and sportscar instead of putting money into his retirement but blames his kids for his lack of wealth) It gave me hope because I realized it was possible for me to be normal. I started making changes in life, and hopefully the big one will put me 3000 miles away from my controlling narcissistic dad. A lot of the plan hinges on luck but I'm trying my best to keep my hopes up about it.

  • @djones301
    @djones301 3 місяці тому +2

    Sometimes, I just get "deer in the headlight" syndrome. 😞 I have so much anxiety, sadness, anger, and hurt. I can't get over the stuff that has happened the last 6 years of my life. Nowadays I work & sleep and that's about all I can do. Everything makes me tired and I sleep on my days off. Nothing gives me energy not even stimulants, and I never feel like I wake up rested and refreshed ready and excited for the new day and only sometimes at the end of the day and at work when I get in my flow of doing projects and helping people do I ever have energy and focus. I love those times, I'm told that's when I am someone else but I feel it's the only time I ever am myself ever. The moment I hit the front door I get drained instantly. I think I'm getting close to burn out from using the stimulants to just survive and stay numb. I'm getting ready to go to rehab And I feel like I will finally learn to heal and get balance between my nervous systems. I'm so excited to hear you say it's possible to heal from the trauma and be able to one day have a balance and feel better and have energy again, get excited again, feel refreshed one day. I feel like I'm close to so burn out. There was a couple of years where I could not even function at all normally day to day, so maybe I already experienced burn out. Anyways, thank you for this video, it helps me have hope and look forward to the future. I really want to grow and change and be a better person.

  • @gretchenvanzyl4981
    @gretchenvanzyl4981 3 місяці тому +5

    Thank you !! I really cannot express my gratitude for how you explained my traumatic life with a narcicist!

  • @Daimo83
    @Daimo83 2 місяці тому +2

    Took me four months of yoga for me to be able to hear my parasympathetic system talk to me. Something I didn't even know was possible!

  • @hope4all366
    @hope4all366 10 місяців тому +8

    Have you ever heard of what used to be called Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy (RSD) which is also known as Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (CRPS). Basically, it's dysfunction of your Sympathetic Nervous System and Parasympathetic Nervous System? I have this condition and you have explained how both get out of wack.

  • @berthachavira8240
    @berthachavira8240 2 місяці тому +2

    My ex had affected me. Thank God for delivering me

  • @mettacine
    @mettacine Місяць тому +2

    I hear so much of myself in this. Painfully so.

  • @leeboriack8054
    @leeboriack8054 2 місяці тому +2

    This series of talks explains why my life’s journey has been such a crazy ride despite enough counseling to straighten out a Slinky factory.

    • @JoleneSmart-uy1zm
      @JoleneSmart-uy1zm 24 дні тому

      Haha that made me laugh - straighten out a slinky factory haha I’m 45 nearly n thought I’d heard it all haha

  • @akw8769
    @akw8769 3 місяці тому +5

    Wow this explanation is best of I’ve heard about the cycle I’ve been on and my addiction to work/success and productivity and the recurring depression and anxiety. I’m following and will study this entire catalog to help myself make the necessary changes. The feeling of boredom when not being on the go is well explained and makes sense to me now. I am ready to live healthy. Thank you!

  • @SoulShyt
    @SoulShyt 3 місяці тому +2

    15:30 unbelievably true. I’ve been to 10 treatment centers and nobody has ever been able to explain this to me.

  • @robertrapisarda5126
    @robertrapisarda5126 Рік тому +7

    This dialogue relays my upbring and general personality to a letter, I thought I had self regulated free of any substances to “ cope” , have introduced a lot of prayer into my life, probably to the same affect of meditation. But will try ur methods to see if I improve my “darker” times. I am grateful to have found this video, and am grateful for you shedding light on possible answers to questions, that I didn’t know to ask. Thank you.

  • @Jess-kn8vl
    @Jess-kn8vl 9 місяців тому +16

    When I get into a mode of losing weight and eating healthy I get obsessive with it and push myself too much. Then when my parasympathetic kicks in, it feels like im walking through sludge. When that passes I go back into SNS and repeat the cycle. Very interesting, the fluctuations in anxiety and depression fueled by cortisol fluctuations.

    • @rabbitcreative
      @rabbitcreative 9 місяців тому +3

      > When I get into a mode of losing weight and eating healthy
      Try whole-food-vegan. Maybe starch-solution by Dr. McDougall. I think the way 'we' treat animals comes back to haunt us.

    • @Jess-kn8vl
      @Jess-kn8vl 9 місяців тому +7

      @rabbitcreative It has to do with having PTSD and its effects on adrenals, cortisol and nervous system. Pushing my body when the mitochondria dont have energy due to being depleted of essential vitamins, minerals and fatty acids causes further damage. These are causes of stress and in my case narcissists.

  • @charlottehewson9522
    @charlottehewson9522 3 місяці тому +1

    Tim just described my whole entire life and personality. Thank you for showing me the light! Thank you is not enough but it’s all I got. Unless turning my life around as a result of this video counts. 😊

  • @outlaw77grrl56
    @outlaw77grrl56 3 місяці тому +11

    I thought I was adhd. Turns out I was with an abusive partner

    • @backoff3748
      @backoff3748 Місяць тому +1

      I really believe adhd is a trama respons

  • @azaleaslightsage1271
    @azaleaslightsage1271 10 місяців тому +2

    Learning this then implementing my own healing /Balance /calming of it completely changed me & my life ❤

  • @Jess-kn8vl
    @Jess-kn8vl 10 місяців тому +1

    This is so perfectly articulated, thank you so much! This has been my life for many years.

  • @10ten4real
    @10ten4real 3 місяці тому +1

    ❤❤❤Never seen it broken down this way. Thank God for you!

  • @brandikelley9711
    @brandikelley9711 9 місяців тому +2

    Came at exactly the right time. Thank you Tim and the Universe ❤

  • @cheerfulstrength940
    @cheerfulstrength940 2 місяці тому

    Yes! This is so true. Thank you for helping me understand this. It makes so much sense. Clearly this is a really common malady of the whole ambition culture.

  • @insanebrain213
    @insanebrain213 9 місяців тому +2

    You're the man Tim! You're doing amazing work, and helping many people.

  • @tenaciousminion8753
    @tenaciousminion8753 9 місяців тому +4

    I greatly appreciate you sharing what I had yet to hear from a medical doctor, psychiatrist and therapist. I have mostly felt shame because many of the recommended treatments did not relieve the chronic symptoms. Unfortunately, my body is not recovering. It baffles me how some people recover and some people don't.

    • @tomsale5142
      @tomsale5142 2 місяці тому

      What are your symptoms any pain

  • @AG-nn8lp
    @AG-nn8lp 14 днів тому

    This is gold. Pure gold.

  • @punyashloka4946
    @punyashloka4946 10 місяців тому +3

    Thank you Tim this was very helpful in understanding my own childhood trauma 😢. Your work has given me lot of strength and hope in my healing process 🙏 so thank you.

  • @RealTalk-mq2ug
    @RealTalk-mq2ug Рік тому +19

    I AM DYING OF EMOTIONAL PAIN.
    THE GRIEF AND TERROR ARE ALL-CONSUMING.
    I desperately want to escape the pain that I'm in:
    debilitating paralyzing all-consuming hyperventilating
    panic and grief...
    the guy I called my best friend,
    ended up raping me.
    he violently brutally viciously maliciously raped my soul.
    abandoned and betrayed me.
    and now I don't breathe.
    last year he ruined christmas-time for me,
    and now he's ruined my winter and spring.
    I'm dying inside.
    desperately trying to remember this:
    ✨💖✨ I was created from all light,
    for I am light, I fear no darkness.
    for being light I can see beyond darkness 💫
    and this:
    "What seems to us as bitter trials,
    are often blessings in disguise."
    - Oscar Wilde

    • @toto-dh9dw
      @toto-dh9dw Рік тому +3

      Very sorry what did u have to go through... its horrible and painfull... i was in similar situation however i decided to focus on forgiving myself for what i dont understand accept the fact ppl are asholes no matter what... and u need to have limited trust in them... then i used attitude of gratitude. Being thankful for job i had, hot water to wash, smile on my face that i breath,. Then i fell doubting myself.. however after a while i reflected on it that im more than worthy being in foreign land by myself doing well.... didnt kill noone. Did drunk or took drugs.. but prayer and calming my mind by doing yoga and meditation in prayer.
      Outcome was i opend back to difficult job i have to difficult ppl i deal with and i got big smile on my face as i cope well😂😂😂 and i refused to live in victimhood for sake of my sanity i did not like this state i grieved for 2 years and nartured myself to person i like

    • @toto-dh9dw
      @toto-dh9dw Рік тому +3

      Its not you.. its him.. being who he is... bit that should not define you and what tim says about healthy routine will help you i practised this for past 20 years 😊 i promise you live ur grief as uneed to but also set yourself time to not to be there for ever.

    • @AvsFan32
      @AvsFan32 Рік тому

      Go for a run everyday

    • @MaryElizabethAbrahamian-ui8uu
      @MaryElizabethAbrahamian-ui8uu 3 місяці тому +1

      Please see your doctor asap

    • @mywifesboyfriend5558
      @mywifesboyfriend5558 Місяць тому +1

      I never had the blessings, only the bitter trials.

  • @lxraycatmaui2884
    @lxraycatmaui2884 10 місяців тому +6

    My mother used to demand i go with her for 'Sunday visits to the Grandparents house" she didnt want to go, she told me so, but couldn't just say no to her mother...she said if she had to go, I had to too. Family Obs she called it. Gma would call everyone before holidays and say how excited so-and-so would be to see them, how we all HAD to come. Major guilt and shame. We all came. We all hated it. We did it for Gma because Gpa was so hard to deal with, we just performed 🎭 what BS

  • @laurencaulton103
    @laurencaulton103 2 місяці тому

    I appreciate the clear explanations of terms that are used all the time. With trauma stuff, to take it in, I really need these types of explanations. The subject matter is harder for me to really get, but this is so specific.

  • @timothyodaniell9119
    @timothyodaniell9119 3 місяці тому

    This is in its simplicity brilliant and explains so much about various topics in the mental health and productivity genres.

  • @kelseykjarsgaard5774
    @kelseykjarsgaard5774 Рік тому +6

    So many diff types of trauma

  • @siyabongamtetwa7888
    @siyabongamtetwa7888 3 місяці тому

    Wow! This was such an eye-opener! Everything he said made total sense.

  • @leticiamilo4387
    @leticiamilo4387 Рік тому +12

    Thanks for sharing this video! ❤⚘
    Learning with your teachings!😊

  • @Buzzoit
    @Buzzoit 26 днів тому

    You’re actually saving my life through teaching me why I am the way I am and how I should be going about things differently. Seriously, thank you so much for having this free information and putting the effort in sharing

  • @Bichonfrise369
    @Bichonfrise369 3 місяці тому +2

    I grow up on 12 years war zone lost father sister uncle I had a mom that was disconnected sexually abused. I got married at 14 had baby 15. I was in deep depression at 17. I had fibromyalgia, lupus RA. I’m 50 years old now. Very painful life. BPD FINALLY I’m learning no one is coming to save me. Is me and me alone!

  • @debgilbert7615
    @debgilbert7615 2 місяці тому

    The comments on here are & have been so amazingly helpful to read & identify with. People’s perspectives. Almost in equal capacity to how good this vid & message & content is.

  • @aliceindiamonds-77
    @aliceindiamonds-77 3 місяці тому +1

    I have been searching for this for a long time. Thank you.

  • @jeanniecampbell1374
    @jeanniecampbell1374 2 місяці тому

    This man is so good at explaining with clarity I can relate to everything he is saying .. I have looked for a long time to find answers for my obsessive working home and workplace also putting my energies into other people ( to the detriment of my health ) I attracted the wrong type of people too , it took years ( to many ) to realise .. I had a choice ! , slowly slowly I am learning to get a balance , Thank you so much for this video .. what a gift for this morning .. a life changing video ❤

  • @nicolewolos168
    @nicolewolos168 17 годин тому

    loved every minute of this!

  • @ShiningBrightlyEachDay
    @ShiningBrightlyEachDay 2 місяці тому

    This is the most helpful video that I’ve seen in my entire life ( I’m in my mid fifties)! God bless you, Tim for creating and sharing this valuable content. ❤

  • @user-jl4gh9pe8b
    @user-jl4gh9pe8b 2 дні тому

    Thank you. You are saving lives. You are a blessing for me. I know what is going on with me