Healing From Complex Trauma, featuring Tim Fletcher
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- Опубліковано 24 гру 2024
- Complex trauma arises from a history of being deprived of healthy ingredients due to ongoing impositions of unhealthy patterns. Tim is an expert on the topic and brings his decades of experience to us as he explains the origins of this pattern while offering hope for long-term recovery.
Tim Fletcher is the Founder and President of RE/ACT (Recovery Education for Addictions and Complex Trauma). Originally starting his career as an engineer, Tim later became a pastor, but after experiencing depression and burnout, he transitioned into counseling at addiction treatment centers.
Through his work, Tim recognized a gap in the tools available to truly help individuals struggling with addiction and complex trauma. He devoted himself to finding and developing practical resources that people could not only understand but also apply in a safe, supportive environment-a skill he’s become well-known for. Tim has a unique ability to take complex psychological concepts and break them down into actionable, easy-to-understand steps.
In his early career, Tim discovered that 97% of addicts also suffered from Complex Trauma (C-PTSD), aligning with research from Dr. Gabor Maté. His deep dive into C-PTSD revealed that childhood experiences of feeling unsafe or unloved cause lasting mental health challenges and coping mechanisms, including addiction. His research also highlighted the physical differences in brain development between individuals raised in nurturing homes and those who were not, before addiction even took hold.
Tim developed seminars around his findings, including his "12 Basic Needs" and "60 Characteristics of Complex Trauma," offering critical insights into mental health and trauma recovery. His work is rooted in personal experience as well, as he and his family have all faced various forms of mental illness and addiction. His dedication to service comes from this deeply personal journey of healing and recovery.
Tim's links:
UA-cam:@TimFletcher
Instagram: /timfletcherco
Facebook:/TimFletcherCo
TikTok: /TimFletcher timfletcher_co
Website: /timfletcher.ca
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How fortunate we are for a dream team like this.
Dynamic duo 🎉
😇😇
Hi Teresa
Tim Fletcher - - another awesome Canadian helping others in healing and dealing with mental health. Mr. Fletcher has figured out that trauma is the core problem of these issues.
Yes...I really enjoyed meeting him!
What a coincidence it is that so many people from all over the world watch both of the speakers! There's so much love and kindness in this collab! Cheers from Crimea, Russia!
WHAT A GREAT INTERVIEW!!! THE LIFT PROGRAM IS WHERE I WAS ABLE TO CONNECT TO OTHERS FOR THE FIRST TIME. THERE'S NOT MANY PEOPLE OUT HERE THAT CAN BE A GOOD CONNECTION FOR RECOVERING PEOPLE!
I came across tim and started learning his knowledge. He is a great therapist. I learn a lot from him. Its good to look at all sides of the problem especially if you been victim of a narcissist and do not wish to fall into the trap of anger or adopting their trauma as they project it. It helps remaining humble and compassionate, and healing oneself out of the situation without harming anyone else. The problem with violence is it's a circle that keeps growing, unless we grow out of it and stop it. I find that the combination of learning from both sides gives a greater understanding that enables such resolution
Thank you for having Tim Fletcher on your show Dr. C.
I found Tim Fletcher about 8 months ago and can't get enough of his content. I have learned so much about narcissism from so many of you. And then when I found Mr. Fletcher's work, I finally began to understand the "why" from my end of the equation of being in a narcissistic relationship. I also began to delve more deeply into understanding my own "reactive abuse" and had to face the truth that not all of my reactive abuse was caused by the narcissist in front of me, but also because of my upbringing, which was more garden variety toxic than narcissistic. My parents were not alcoholic either. So in the past, I have struggled to accept my own shortcomings, because I didn't understand complex trauma. I have learned that so many things can lead to a person developing complex trauma and going on to get involved with narcissist people, perhaps taking on characteristics themselves.
Anyway, the mental health world needs to give Mr. Fletcher and his work their immediate and undivided attention. He is unlocking a new path to healing for so many.
I think your words are just so beautiful and have helped me to have more insight into my own issues.
One hell of a dynamic duo right here....thank you both ❤
Glad you enjoyed it!
@@SurvivingNarcissism😇😇
My boys on the collabo !! 🔥
When we fail, "go to compassion and curiosity". Why did I react that way? What would a healthier response have been? Practice that. And be kind to yourself. (Don't beat up the wounded child.) Thanks Tim Fletcher.
And Dr Carter is doing a fantastic job at meeting our unmet needs by educating us (with love and understanding), and connecting us with others who understand and don't judge us harshly, by inviting us to be part of Team Healthy. Wonderful!
Thank you for inviting Tim. His thorough series on trauma(available on UA-cam) is excellent. I’ve learned loads from you both, so God bless each of you.🩶
Top two in the field! Neither uses triggering language or attitudes in their presentations. Love love love!
I have lots of triggers but I realized that they are a map of discovery even from the trauma you can't remember. Triggers point at the wounds we need to heal although they are painful and discouraging.
Thank-you, Dr. Carter. This has been very helpful. I suffer from complex trauma because of having a narcissistic father and a mother who blamed me for her unhappiness and was also emotionally and physically abusive, too. I became a people pleaser, didn't set good boundaries because I didn't know anything about boundaries. Rather than become a narcissist, I became an empath. To endure my abuse, I created 32-33 different personalities. (I'm down to one now). My ex-husband became a malignant narcissist. What a combination. As an empath, I also suffer with shame all the time, too. Hearing "once the shame heals, the narcissism starts to disappear." Just wow. And explaining healing from the pain - that we need a place that is safe to be able to heal. I also don't have hope. I didn't realize this is what I have been feeling all my life. As I heal from narcissistic abuse, I'm also healing from childhood abuse. It's quite a process. I think this podcast is excellent, Dr. Carter.
Wow, I can't believe how much I learned in half an hour. Having trauma of both the little t and big T varieties, I sought therapy on three separate occasions but never succeeded in finding help. Released from an unhealthy relatsionship, I lived alone for the first time in my life and then my progress was head spinning. As a somatic experience, the pain and anger I experienced during that time of intense growth couldn't be said to be fun, but I quickly learned that dark nights, when either pain or anger seemed unendurable, gave way to bright mornings, like seeing the world for the first time, and just how beautiful it was. I quit therapy on the last occasion when it became painfully obvious that the therapist was doing me more harm than good. Even when it became apparent I had raging PTSD, she insisted that happy thoughts would lead to happy feelings, rather than attempt to get to the bottom of why I felt that way. I learned to do the opposite of what she ordered to me to do, rejecting that staple of CBT - 'thoughts affect feelings' in favour of understanding that feelings also affect thought, and showing regard for my own feelings. That way led to progress. It felt so good to hear these two fine gentlemen articulate and explain a period of growth I managed for myself but didn't fully understand. And I so appreciate professionals who can disseminate complex concepts in such down to earth terms. Thank you so much.
Tim helps make complex subjects more digestible. Thank you for this.
Thank you generals. ♥️
Both of you have helped me so much! Once I learned I was raised in a narcissist family system it all made sense. I have quit drinking, smoking cigs and pot. Thank you Dr C and Tim!
You’re quite welcome!
I'm proud of you.❤
You should be proud of yourself
Amazing
Tim Fletcher and Dr Carter are so amazing and help so much! ❤
This made me cry. I grew up with a narcissist mother, married a narcissist man and I have spent my life beating myself up.
I had to say, o my god, thank you two dudes
It's like when superheroes join forces. I get all giddy. Especially these two. OMG❤
My 2 fav teachers together … for ppl who are actually investing in healing, this is a dream come true!
You both are incredible healers! My whole life has changed FOR THE BETTER after listening to and applying both of your teachings. THANK you both!
Always remembering trauma is where my healthcare starts and must remain diligent in putting it first. ❤
Fabulous interview! 🙏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏Please keep these coming! Everything Tim says is so valuable to so many who are suffering with low self esteem due to childhood trauma and neglect specially veterans who gave everything to their country and our suffering, terribly with war wounds, emotional trauma, and challenging relationship situation to no fault of their own
The beginning of the research for understanding PTSD was because of war veterans although at first they called it shell-shock after WWI.
Before that, the first psychologists were writers. I guess that's why I have always been fond of Dostoevsky's books. The portraits of the characters of his books are magnificent.
Great guest repeat please….
Tim has absolutely changed my life and contributed to my healing in the last year. I’ve been searching for years - and no one has articulated my experience, symptoms, and solution like he has. To say I am deeply grateful for the transformative power of his understanding and ability to communicate CPTSD is an understatement. Sincerely, Emily
Quite the discovery, wasn't it? I feel the same. It was Patrick Teahan who caught my eye in the first place. But Tim and Dr C followed soon after. All these people do a stalwart job. I love them so much for it.
Finally I understand the difference in terminology! I always thought "big T trauma" and "little T trauma" were misnomers, because they're both BIG, and often complex trauma is "bigger" than reactive trauma. The way you explained it makes perfect sense, I see now that most of my trauma is Big T trauma, though it's been a thing since I was an adolescent more than 35 years ago. The people in my life have been amazing, even the narcissist that I dated for 5 years had a positive impact once I figured out how to process his negative influence. The car accident and traumatic brain injury limited my ability to recognize or react to the narcissistic trauma, though my other connections supported me until I was able to wiggle away from him. Thank you, Doctors, for offering your support!
Completely brilliant, just about everything I’d want said is here, so I’ll be recommending this one!! Only one small point: there are a range of long term problematic behavioural outcomes with c-ptsd, not just addiction, or taking on the narcissism of a seeming narcissistic parent, or the heartlessness of a (ceo-type) psychopathic parent. There are others, most notably dissociation and social withdrawal.
I expect those will be among the 60 characteristic results they mentioned 🙂
Thank you so much for having Tim Fletcher on your channel! He is THE voice of how to recover from CPTSD. Thousands have healed under his wise guidance and programs.
“Developing fake intimacy” this is so insightful !
Thank you so much, fellas.
Wow. My 2 favorite guys to listen to on one video! Great work both of you! I have learned so much from you both. I am single and happy. So glad you two connected! God bless you both!
When I divorced my ex, I took to social media to explain to friends and family that the marriage never worked out bc my ex is emotionally immature but I don't blame him bc of the generational trauma in his family (I'm not explaining this to one person at a time). My ex-FIL asked me what my "motives" were. So glad I left that family because EVERYTHING they did had a motive; nothing was unconditional. I blocked everyone on that side of the family since and only contact my ex about our children.
The man Tim Fletcher who has changed my life ..As well as Dr.Carter 😊
He knows what he's talking about!
Yes, he does!! God ordained work you both have !
7 months free from the narcissist, still healing, I have a lot of anger, and when someone is just a little disrespectful I'm immediatly angry, and tell them that they have no respect😢😢
Me too. And I get so angry about the people on the street. They are so disrespectful.
When I left an abusive relationship, someone called him a narcissist. I'd never heard of the word. I researched it and quickly found out that not only was he one, but my father was too. I was 47 yrs old when I found this out. I literally had a mental break and cptsd for 2 years afterwards. It broke open my world in the most catastrophic way. Thankfully, by listening to these interviews, I don't feel alone, or crazy.
You are not alone although people with cptsd isolate ourselves and it reminds me of a sentence about introverts; united introverts, which sounds like an oxímoron.
We are not crazy, we are wounded and there are a whole bunch of people who are too but they don't know it yet and unfortunately, we can't even help them because it will be triggering for them and they will deny it. For some unknown reason; not everyone has reached rock bottom and we can't even advise them. Luckily, you paid attention to what that person said to you but that doesn't happen for everyone.
I wish therapists would talk more about what happens when two people with cptsd get together because it can feel like a war zone, no matter how much both of them need the company.
Tim Fletcher was incredible for me at the beginning of my CPTSD healing journey. Saved me during a 9 month wait for therapy and continues to inform and encourage me to this day. Great stuff from you both, thanks.
Thank you so much to the both of you for this, Absolutely tremendous, I've been off alcohol nearly 5years and working on my inner state, Healing is beautiful and I can recognize unhealthy easier now, I'm not letting anyone interfere with my healing journey, Peace, love and respect to you both, Gu's and everyone, Thank you universe, All glory praise and smiles to the most high :-)
Congratulations! I wish I could! It's slowly killing me. A young body handles booze a lot easier, but an older body....the toxins aren't so easily handled anymore. I never liked AA, counselling didn't help either. How did you stop? What helped you?
@@sissi8610 Thank you for your kindness, Much appreciated, :-) It was my will power, determination and strength, I wish you well in your healing and recovery journey, Peace, love and respect to you, Have a pleasant day :-)
Thank you Tim Fletcher and Dr. Carter! This was a wonderful program and I so appreciate how clearly I can understand how CPTSD and Narcissism is explained here. Thank you both!
Glad it was helpful!
I love these two men, and Dr Ramani 💝 thank you for all you do and share.
Dr Carter I cannot thank you enough for this video!! Your guest Tim Fletcher was extremely informative and helpful!! 🙌🕊️🕊️🕊️
Glad it was helpful, Julie. He was a good guy!
My two favorite OGs, thanks Les & Tim!
I will be listening to this on repeat! So much here to digest! Thank you both, Dr Carter and Tim Fletcher. ❤️🌹✨️
@@well_weathered Me too ❤️
Glad you enjoyed it!
ULTIMATE DREAM TEAM ❤❤❤ MY FAVORITE TWO ❤❤❤ just add dr Ramani and the earth will shake
Do a search inside my channel and you find Dr. Ramani on two interviews.
@@BemaSeatAcademy You read my mind, exactly my thoughts! 😉❤️
I've seen the Dr. Ramani interviews. They're brilliant 🤗
Agree, but I'd add Richard Grannon to the duo.
@@SurvivingNarcissism love you Doc! I've seen em! I meant as a roundtable! Thank you for all you do, you are helping me survive a devastating discard
This was so incredibly helpful!! Thank you both for providing helpful, meaningful content on trauma healing!
So pleased!
Oh My Gosh ... Mr. Tim and Dr. C ....this is so amazing !!! Thank you 🙏 both of you.
Good morning, how very helpful!
Love seeing these two great men collabing, looking forward to seeing Tim this Saturday!
Tell him I said hi!
Tim Fletchers work and his react friday nights have become one of the leaders for people in this field. I shared Tim’s work with my own therapist who works with complex trauma and that opened new doorways for the entire group. I’m an adult survivor and complex trauma is part of who I am. However , the react program has been an essential tool for me and others to help us to better understand ourselves and the people all around us better. I know that that re-act Friday nights are about the best series for any recovering person of abuse, neglect, and deep emotional and spiritual trauma. Thank you both for your work. I subscribe to both your channels. Aloha from Hawai’i too.
My first trauma was being repeatedly being molested by an older cousin, he tortured small animals, and then not being treated, coupled with not receiving the nurturing I needed,
That was only the beginning
Big traumas, I resonate with everything you're saying Tim
Just been through it with an online scammers, narcissistic romance, and I am shattered
You deserved none of that. You deserve DRC...dignity, respect, civility. That's what we stand for here on #TeamHealthy.
Those definitions of trauma were crystal clear.
This is so insightful and feels true. I am observing this unraveling right now in my life.
Wow, 2 of my favorite people coming together for an interview!! Cool
Healing help from 2 of the most engaged and expertly skilled folks around. So many takeaways and ah has! Many thanks! Healthy Help Helps!
So very helpful
Glad it was helpful!
Thank you Dr. Carter, I love Tim Fletcher and his work. His videos have helped me very much over the years and I really enjoyed this interview!! 💗
I enjoyed my time with him as well!
Two of my favorite teachers on CPTSD. SO appreciated!
Thank you so much. ❤
2 of my favorite men together! Love it!
What he's talking about is what happened to me. I have spent my whole life trying to understand some things that happened in my family of origin. This explains a lot and helps me understand both myself and the family I have been so hurt by better. Although they hurt me, I feel such pain in regards to their suffering. I see that they experienced the same things I did. It was passed on and it breaks my heart. This has given me a lot to think about.
Two of my favorites in one video!!🎉🎉
Two of the most influential men of our era.
I hit the liked button before even watching the interview! :) I've been watching Dr.C and Tim for the last few years and ....I want to say to both of you ...THANK YOU!!! Putting the videos filled with knowledge and simple, clear approaches helped me beyond the words can express. 3 years of my healing were very productive, thanks to you.
You are quite welcome
What a treat. Thank you two
Yess!! Two great teachers, amazing content.
Great encounter between two wonderful teachers
Blessings from Detroit
My family is from Ontario and Quebec. Hey!!!
I would really like to hear Tim Fletcher's take on parental alienation, or induced attachment dysfunctions in divorced families.
My two favorite men on the internet!
😢
Thanks to both of u!!!
Brilliant podcast. Really interesting topic
Hello from Kansas City 🌆 Missouri
I’m so so excited to hear this episode! Tim Fletcher is amazing! As are you Dr Carter- the two of you together- outstanding! 1:39
I really like Mr. Fletcher.
I do too
I hope this will be one of many podcasts with both of you !❤ Great information.❤
Love you into a healthier place ❤❤sounds like a job for God❤
Beyond our pay grade for sure
Much Respect 🙏
BRAVO! Love Tim Fletcher & listen to him often. His work, like yours, is EXCELLENT! Thank you, Dr. C!
Thank you, Dr. C. I actually watched this on the day it was released but haven't had time to comment. Ditto for the other videos released recently. But be sure I'll be circling back and reviewing and checking out Tim Fletcher's website. My husband's insecurities are keeping me very busy right now. Unfortunately, I'm finding that narcs continue to be exhausting even when you're trying to be compassionate. and supportive. I don't sense that he's in a manipulative phase-- just insecure.
Thank you for this collab. Super helpful.
Amazing 🙏❤️💯 thank you both!! Subscriber to both of you has changed my life🙏
What a dream team ❤
I've had people tell me that I need to give myself the same breaks I give other people
@@eph2vv89only1way Indeed. We don't give ourselves enough pats on the back 🧡
Such a great interview!
Much food for thought.
What a great dialogue from a great duo of love 💔❤️🩹♥️
@@caroleminke6116 Definitely🕊❤️🩹✨️
Blessings from Sweden 🇸🇪
Oh, Dr C stands for DRC, dignity respect and civility! Now that is sweet and clever, I wasn't aware of that. 😊
The Internet has brought the effect of unresolved pain to our mobile devices. We are literally carrying around the dysfunction of others. Let that sink in.
amazing conversation, thank you
Already following both of you 🥳
So well explained, thank you.
Many thanks🙏🌷🕊💝🤗
My mother was Dx with NPD and she died being a NPD. No matter how much pain she had she never looked at herself!
I have been Dx with Complex-PTSD and blame myself for everything that went wrong in my life.
I say they also cause a person not only simple 'not trust' issues but placing trust in the wrong people.
Really interesting thank you
I am suffering from chronic fatigue syndrome. Im just burnt out, I can't recharge i am feeling sick all day everyday. I have no strength.
This was very helpful.
The narc will actually ask “what is wrong with me?” Shocking! I thought they will only ask what’s wrong with you? They feel pain and can consciously becoming a reasonable person? How many narcissists have ever turned around by doing any self reflection?
None that I know of TBF.
This was so good! Tim made me cry when he talked about bringing a parent a cup of coffee metaphor. Was curious about his addiction recovery program, the name(s) again please and under what terms & conditions can garden variety addicts access it/them? Thanks Guys ❤
What a compliment to the Dr.C's teaching.