you hsould heal your very deep wounds that you are not even aware of!its going to be very very difficult for you!you are very self centered...(im a healer) it's all for love really!
My toxic ex used to compare me to my friends and commented on things he didn‘t like about my physique without me asking whereas my partner now tells me I am the prettiest girl in the room and how good I look and how nice my body is every day. Both men know my insecurities with my weight. It‘s not all about how you carry yourself, sometimes the man is just an asshole.
The reason why women are insecure with their weight is due to what the media has been doing for years. This is why riots broke out three years ago, because a lot of stuff people are seeing is total bullshit.
If you actually are like properly overweight, or obese, well that solves issue one and two if I just won’t date that, wouldn’t date a woman with a BMI over 24ish (depends on you endowments or maybe if your some Olympic weightlifting lady). My BMI is 19.
My ex lived alone with his female friend. She was controlling over him and they were codependent. She didn’t like our relationship.. I unfortunately never asserted myself or set some hard boundaries around that “friendship” at the beginning.. I wouldn’t have placed myself in a strange triangle and known who his priority really was far sooner!
how to know if a guy is a player & pathological liar, when he try to inflate sth, even sometimes hiding certain information he claimed would be detrimental to his value in women's eyes?
In the part where you say ti be straightforward, some men may take the “I don’t like it when you do this, can you please do it that way” as you said, it ay sound as criticism to some men…what do you say about that?
I don‘t like it when men inflate their body count. They don‘t want me to lie about mine and I find it unattractive when men sleep around anyway. I think it‘s disgusting and a sign of emotional immaturity, lack of selection in their partner choice and a sign of inability to form a stable relationship.
@@anon-mx4jx I agree. Sleeping around is nasty imo. The only concern I ever had is 1.) do they have any diseases I need to know about, 2.) are they going to agree to keep the ex relationships in the past and not keep contact with these people if im in a relationship with them.
could not agree more! yet so many men want us to believe that the more they've "been around" the more attracted to them we should be...which is FALSE! At least for any woman of class/value and discernment!
@Phil T exactly i feel the same about all you mentioned ong. My now ex literally i told him about my past and how they cheated on me with their ex and my current ex didnt even bother to let me know or put on the table that he was still talking to his ex from high school ...that they just stayed friends lol bruh..like for 6 yrs? I dont think so. And he told me that shed try to get back with him..like bro..wtf is that? And he still decided it was okay to have stayed friends with her..while being with me..i feel like he just did it to post us on IG to get back at ppl who dissed him in the past..but whatever karmas a bitch i guess ...and he had asked her opinion on something i wasnt comfortable with lol im like bro shes not ur gf. But man that was one hell of a roller coaster i hope to forget soon. Its been a month barely since i left his sorry ass literally that guy also is okay with being casual with ppl...im like yeah im glad i left. I saw him on a dating app by chance and surely enough he was selling himself so to speak lmaooo. Im glad i have standards at least and respect myself too much
#3 is unbelievably true. Women who have had almost every single guy “friend” confess feelings or try to get with them, know this. Truly platonic close friendship between men and women is quite uncommon. Yes there are exceptions, but this has been my experience.
I'm super close with two female friends, one about 20 years and the other 13 years, it's purely platonic and been that way since day one. it's possible if you want it, but to say it's all men are lying is funny.
Ex kept telling me “she’s just a friend” and kept behaving like that and putting himself out there and making less time for me. When we broke up, not even a month, he got with his “she’s just a friend” 😂 ladies, Margarita is telling the truth and I was younger and stupid for putting up with such behavior. I learned the hard way but never again will I be with someone like that.
Ex kept telling me “He's just a friend” and kept behaving like that and putting himself out there and making less time for me. When we broke up, not even a month, she got with her “he'sjust a friend” 😂 men, Margarita is telling the truth and I was younger and stupid for putting up with such behavior. I learned the hard way but never again will I be with someone like that.
same thing happened to me and my ex about 3 years ago right when covid hit very hard. and i can even top that, they were together 2 weeks after our breakup! 🤣
I just love how she communicates in her videos. Very clear, direct and to the point. The only UA-camr I can binge watch. Thank you Margarita for sharing your knowledge on this platform 🫶🏾
Yes she goes straight to the point . And I can actually listen to the entire video . Usually my anxiety makes me skip videos or run through them. Thank you
🙌🏼 no fluff or filler! So many UA-camrs just talk and talk…I love how she keeps it lean and mean and trims all the fat! And as a ADHDer, it keeps me focused because it’s so jam packed with good stuff. Thank you!
I will never ever entertain a man with close female friends ever again. Ladies please don’t do it. You are essentially signing up for an open relationship in which the so called friends come first because “they were there first!!”, even though you as the gf are held to a much higher standard of behaviour and investment. I respect myself too much to date a beta orbiter.
@@heyitsjennifer Hi Jennifer I hope my comment didn't sound as a form of privacy invasion your comment tells of a wonderful Woman with a beautiful heart which led me to comment I don't normally write in the comment section but I think you deserve this complement. If you don’t mind can we be friends? Thanks God bless you….
Notes 1. Put yourself in his shoes (don’t point out your insecurities) 2. Don’t ask men questions you don’t want the answer to (be confident and take compliments) 3. Self love affirmations aloud (you’ll convince others) (fake it till you make it) 4. Men love with their eyes / get interested with their eyes 5. Attraction, there is love however physical means a lot to men 6. Friends, something happened between them or one of them is holding out that something will 7. Men are attracted to things, hobbies, work, etc things in common 8. Clock things, don’t react, don’t emote, don’t scream if he’s putting himself out there understand, communicate, and decide 9. Not just a friend 9/10x 10. Men inflate woman deflate, take it as a compliment 11. If he was a player and been with all these woman he wouldn’t be saying anything
Omg the same thing happened to me one day … I was watching a show and there was an unattractive woman on the show (personal opinion) however her attitude and the way she talked about herself and carried herself totally convinced me that she was beautiful by the end of the show … wow
Interestingly this doesn't work for men. When a man of below average looks and height acts confident, in most cases (i.e. if that man isn't a celebrity, or in a position of political or economic power) his behavior isn't seen as confident but as delusional, cocky, overcompensating. His acting confident not only does nothing for him, it might even backfire on him. Of course being mild and reserved is also no option since a rather unattractive guy would then be simply invisible. Doomed if he does and doomed if he doesn't.
@@99nickiewickie I'm not invisible, my comment was not about me but men of below average looks and height. Anyway, what do you mean by "work on being a better human being"? A 5'5 guy can't grow taller, a guy with a 3/10 face can't become much handsomer. And that other qualities, like confidence or social skills, ultimately won't do anything for short and unattractive men was the point of my comment, right? A man whom women are simply not physically attracted to can "work on being a better human being" as much as he wants, he'll never be able to really change his situation. I've witnessed this so many times.
@iancavon7125 that is bullshit . I once dated a guy who when I put on heels and he showed up I was much taller than him. When he showed up I had a weird look on my face and I said I'm gonna change my shoes I'm taller than you . He said no wear the heels . He was extremely confident it was so attractive. He didn't need to be tall . He was secure with himself. It was wildly attractive. Now he was good looking. But my point is being secure with yourself can get you a long way . I usually like tall guys but with him it didn't matter .
@@tinakuczaj3958 So what? You're obviously more tolerant, or let's say less shallow, than most women when it comes to male height -- at least you had been so in that particular case. (He was good looking, though.) It speaks in your favor, but doesn't change one bit of what countless short, average looking men experience all their lifetime with the vast majority of women. Those guys aren't all shy and clumsy, many of them are confident and humorous despite all setbacks. Sadly, it still doesn't get them "a long way" in most cases. You can't call my comment bs just because you feel your personal, purely anecdotal evidence (one shorter man you sometime dated!) to speak against it. Btw, this is a UA-cam comment section. OF COURSE I deliberately generalize, and maybe even exaggerate somewhat, simply to state my point very clearly. I'm fully aware, though, that not all women are exactly the same. There'll always be some good girls left out there.
had to learn the "friend" one the hard way. he pursued his "friend" that i was skeptical about only one day after we broke up. Never trusting the just-a-friend bs ever again.
Never trust the friend line. One day or the other it will come back to bite you in the behind. This is coming from a male. Most times when a man or woman has a friend while in a relationship, they want to keep old lines/ connections open in case your current relationship fails. And that's never a good place to be because your relationship with your boyfriend should be paramount.
Honestly I’ve had the opposite experience. I ended things with my previous gf because she started to come off incredibly jealous because she seemed to have a problem with any girl that i was around. First she didn’t like that i was still cool with my exes which was understandable. Then it was co workers so I switched jobs twice, then it was old friends so i started isolating myself altogether eventually she accused me of cheating 13 times but i had to sit her down and really talk about the fact that I don’t think she genuinely thought i was cheating on her because she wouldn’t have stayed with me if she genuinely thought that but it became a way to gain control for her In my experience sometimes friends are just friends and you should lead with trust until someone gives you a reason not to trust them. I think it’s more of a red flag if a man has no female friends. That means he’s probably trying to pursue just about every woman in his life, doesn’t see them as people outside of romantic interest and probably isn’t great at maintaining relationships or ending things amicably.
Exactly, that is why your boundaries as a woman are always threatened. I stop having men in my circle, to be honest they cant control themselves... quite pathetic
Margarita, I cannot stress enough how your podcast saved my life. It helped me completely change my mindset and shift my energy. I went from an angry, anxious, resentful, burnt out person to a more peaceful version of myself, as a woman, mom and wife. I've seen my husband step into his masculine energy and giving into it everyday. Thank you for what you do. Your content is definitely one of my safe places ❤
A man should be a one woman only. A relationship with your lady is for life. Men love to brag and inflate their 'own importance'. Maybe another reason men tell women 'tall stories' is the fact that the lady they are speaking with is actually 'out of their league'. In the real world men love to 'compete' with everyone. Men often cannot relate to 'high achieving' women. This makes them feel like their achievements in comparison are very very little. A man that constantly brags is basically a man that is totally insecure and in the long term is using women as 'trophy women'. They are just another thing to add to his 'list of success' when out with all his mates. Men basically can be very insecure individuals. Beautiful women are not there to boost the ego of 'butch' males. Women need to be very very careful when dealing with boosting males. These individuals often are just like strutting peacocks who want everyone and everything to revolve around them. Some even could be covert naracists who love capturing gullible women who fall for their charms and their tall stories. Thank you for this video. May all ladies be kept safe from arrogant self centered males.
I would be really interested in seeing you do a video addressing social media because often, these boundaries are blurred, and I come across people disregarding interactions and certain behaviours/habits just due to them taking place online.
I wish the attraction vs. Love was stated to me when I was in my 20's. I didn't feel so worthy of taking care of myself as well as I should've as quickly as I should've. My husband LOVED me and never ever made me feel bad but I deserved to feel physically attracted as well. ❤ Finally got it and finally handling it!
No.3 applies equally to women. (Given the examples, how could it not?) So if your man tells you he doesnt like you having male friends, don't automatically accuse him of being 'controlling' or 'insecure'.
The biggest Red Flag to no Marriage, is a women justifying her "male friends" to her good man. A good women will listen and start making effort to distant herself if she is serious about her man's concern, surly not justify it. Women are gate keepers to sexual access, and this is their role even with ""male friends", so just like a good women avoiding alcohol in the presence of other men, night clubs with player fukbois hitting on them, or putting themselves in position at work, gatherings, or encounters where they can end up privately in a 1 and 1 position with a man who can affect them emotionally, the best a women really can do is avoid the temptation, especially knowing they could some day not be in a good place with their serious man, bf, long term other, or husband; and then fall into temptation to regret it forever in their life.
3 sounds like a lot of insecurities from your side. I have a really close female friend i met through a hobby/a friend of mine. She is a 10/10 but i do not want anything more than friendship with her. Thats all it is ever going to be. Saying all men lie about that just sounds like personal trauma. If a woman would want me to stop contact with my friend then this woman can leave. I am choosing friends over a new partner with insecurities…Like of course there are men that lie about that, but guess what, you ve got the wrong guy then. Also lying is the worst thing you can do in a relationship. It will destroy it in the long run, just be honest with your partner…All of this sounds so childish
Hey, I'm a man. And I need to say man can be friends with woman! My two best friends are female. And I put my hand in fire, it will never happen something between us. I agree as well with you, when you just met a person and wanna hangout 1-1, that's strange and shows that a person is putting himself out. Pls, make a difference between real friendship and let's see what happens.
@@bluevelvet2 with my 2 best friends. I hangout 1-1. But we live in other countries, so we see each other may every few years With other girls, why should you do it. There is no reason.
Really?That looks like a typical woman who gets the …“name“…from guys …for example bitch,worse …witch …Gaga,crazy,difficult,too much,Devì´s advocate 🫣🥇🥈🥉😈
My ex told me he would probably sleep with my girlfriend (after me stupidly asking him if he liked her) - my lesson learned here. BUT he was also telling me (without asking) things like - you are too skinny, I can see your ribs, I dont mike this skirt etc. Also critisizing his ex girlfriends (I know because he told me) for extra kilos, outfits, hairstyle etc. Also without being asked. So although I learned a lesson not to ask stupid questions, this case was an assh*le making women insecure 😅 I wish he was a gentleman who would rather lie than be overly “honest” - btw he only wanted to make a woman feel less since he has had mental problems himself (not admitting ever). Good luck to all the women finding a man who would not make them feel not enough. Its in our hands!!!!! Never making the same mistake again🩵🩵🩵💪🏼
Now why would you wish he would have lied. It would of masked the nasty person he was longer and wasted much more of your precious time. As much as this guy was a douche. I commend him for being honest . He showed you who he was and left it up to you to decide if that was something you could accept or tolerate . He gave you a choice. Instead of pretending and stringing you along with a fake persona.
@@Margarita.Nazarenko my ex gaslighted me about his female friends. When I asked for simple boundaries, he made it very clear who his priority was. Ladies, please don’t fall for his modern new age nonsense that men and women are exactly the same. A CLOSE male female friendship always has “couple vibes”. if the female friend wanted more, your bf would absolutely jump on that opportunity and you guys likely wouldn’t even be dating in the first place! And trust me, that female friend knows it and loves the influence she has in his life! You need to ask yourself whether you think your man going out on what is essentially a date with a woman he is almost certainly emotionally attracted to and DEFINITELY physically attracted to is acceptable to you. Let the pickmes have them. As for me, Never again!!!!
Too many "Amandas" out there trying to act cute and being inappropriately friendly in the guise of professional cameraderie at work, it happens ALL THE TIME, ladies! Once I even witnessed an assistant ask a colleague of mine (an engaged man) if he wanted a shoulder massage when he mentioned he was stressed. Beware. Margarita's advice is 💯. Why does no one teach us these things?!?
Im a guy and I want women to know we want them to say what they mean, mean what they say, and not play hints, guesses, psychic communication to their man.........none of that works. We are direct individuals. Rather than having a fight over poor communication, just state clearly what you want as statement, no judgement, no attitude, just clear communication to get the communication across like you would a child. I agree with you that a man and woman friendship on their own when the partner is not invited along should be avoided. There is no sense putting your partner in the situation where they would be uncomfortable when it could be avoided . PS Some of us like the imperfections in our women. We already hold you up high in our mind. You might not look like you did at 25 still but every wrinkle, every vein, every grey hair you try to hide now reminds us of the 25 yr old who stuck by our side through the ups and downs over the years. Maybe Im the odd man out on this one though.
@Mandy Mikulka Thanks for sharing your perspective on that!. Trying to communicate through "hints" is just bad all around. The only time I appreciate it is if the hint is made to prevent me from doing something embarrassing like forget her mothers birthday when shes over. I have gone though too many fights that were caused by me being expected to just "know" what my wife was thinking and every single time it has ended bad.
As a woman I'll tell you this. Men need to provide safe environment for women to be able to honestly communicate what's on her mind. If she is uncertain about your reaction, she won't be direct. Safety over everything. Give women safety.
I’ve learned that most men will simply say what’s sounds good on paper but not in practice. A blunt straight forward woman is the same these guys label as bossy, demanding, fussy etc. There is no win sadly … I mean you literally said talk to you (men) like you would a child~ it’s literally exhausting
This is sooooo true. That’s why they say confidence is key . Bc your energy of being comfortable and loving urself is more than how you THINK others see you.❤
I can’t speak for straight men with female friends, but as a gay man, I have tons of male friends I have no sexual or romantic interest with. But they are buddies.
@@okaySam No, fair. About 1/4 are. But I guess I am trying to convey that in a relationship structured on honesty, integrity, and recognizing one's subconcious motives, I'd say it's ethical to retain friends you find attractive as long as you acknowledge it, maybe even communicate that to your partner, and then never allow it to become a motive. Maybe I'm being naive?
@@taylordixon5871 It can be fair and ethical, but in hetero couples there is a different power dynamic at play. Attractive women don't have to invest as much in male/female "friendships". It's not my cup of tea, but I highly doubt my girlfriends would have been happy about me investing a lot of time and energy in retaining multiple female friendships.
@@okaySam Hmmm I'm not sure there's a different dynamic. Attraction is attraction. If you're friends with someone you're attracted to, it doesn't have to dictate your relationship with them. If you're in a committed monogamous relationship, then all other relationships can exist as long as you do not allow attraction to compromise your existing agreement. It's the same thing with attractive coworkers. You have established boundaries, and you stick to them or you don't and potentially suffer the consequences. I don't think someone being attractive to you should dictate whether or not you can be friends or coworkers with them. As for your girlfriends not being happy with it, that probably comes down to their ability to feel secure and the two of you communicating relationship expectations. Just my opinion as a non-expert and non-heterosexual.
I just realized another thing to love about you. When you edit your videos there’s no quick cuts/splicing/heavy editing, you’re straight up just talking to us. So authentic. When I made UA-cam vids a decade ago I used to cut out all my ‘um’s’ 😂
My neighbour kept messaging my late husband and flirting with him. He was oblivious to it and thought she just wanted to be friends. When I pointed it out he cut it off completely with her. I love how you say “this one, that one, the other one”! ❤
HAHAHAHAH this video confirms that my man is not normal. He tells you everything straight on, no filter, 0 lies. if something looks good on you, he says it but if it doesn't he will say it straight. If you gain weight, he will say it. Wish he lied a bit more often 🤣🤣🤣
I think its a simple pattern lol my ex always said “They are just friends babe you are too jealously” to gaslight me ah yeah just a normal female friend that he talked for hours while we had arguments about her texts! now I sometimes Im so lonely after breakup but so happy not to be a miserable unvalued gf again.
As a guy I would note that sometimes when women see themselves as a 5/10 it's not superlative qualities you don't have that matter--it's the lack of flaws. 5/10 as viewed girl-to-girl may be much prettier girl-to-guy. /Results may vary as girls simply cannot see each other the same way as guys do.
No 3 I had to learn to accept - that men don't 'befriend' women, unless there is sexual interest. Not the other way round, which is why men can find themselves in the friendzone and eventually get frustrated. The fact you want to be his friend, if you are a woman, makes him think you want him. Why? Because this is how THEY think. A man also won't chat you up unless he is attracted, unless it's a situation where he wants your friend but fears rejection, so he tries you instead. Not necessarily the other way round, as women tend to communicate with everyone. But if you as a woman start a chat with a random guy, he will probably think you are into him. Why else would you talk to him? It makes me a a bit sad that I don't have male friends. A clique or circle of friends, that's different, but one on one friendship..? No. Unless he's gay, he's in it for the possibility of getting into your pants. And even if there is genuine friendship, they think casual sex could be part of that, too - to them it's worth a try, at least. The exception to this is if there is a wish to have you as their therapist - someone to cry to and who will listen non-judgementally and be used as an ego crutch. But then you'll have to ask yourself what YOU are doing with this guy.
Thank you so much for sharing all this wisdom with us Margarita, I look forward to your podcast every Tuesday with so much excitement! You’ve helped me really build a foundation of self esteem and understanding my own power.
I want to be friends in real life- in person with you!! You are such a strong, stable, beautiful woman and I freaking love it!! Love to surround myself with confident, strong women. Oh how we would rule the world if we just built each other up like this woman.
Do you think number 3 applies to past friends that they're still friends with as well? Because I agree, but only if it's new "friends". My bf has female friends that I do not get that vibe from at all, at least on his end. Not to say he's not attracted/never has been, but that the relationship does not in any way violate our relationship boundaries and I think it's actually healthy that he's maintained those friendships. He also doesn't lie about any of the things you've mentioned, though I think most guys would (we have very open & honest communication about everything, to the point it hurts sometimes). I too have many guy friends (many more than he has girl friends) and I think the dynamic is similar. We are all friends with each other's friends. I would agree that if he all of a sudden makes a new female friend that he wants to spend time with, that would be fishy behavior, but I know he'd never do that (& if he did, it wouldn't last with us). But yeah, curious if you feel that applies to female friends that came before the relationship too.
they can happen when its from college so school etc or if they had friends in common as kids but usually to maintain it , it takes energy... so that would be a question
I don’t love rating people as a 5/10…. Idk why. But I have been binging your videos and love your book list!! I’ve read many and plan to read the rest of those you’ve suggested! My bf is a DJ and he has lots of acquaintances. I could care less about them. I know deep down that we are together. I think it ties into the idea of being unattached to any jealousy. He loves me. I love him. If anything else goes down I know I’ll be fine….
Interesting, one of my facial features are big blue eyes..Now, I have been bullied as much as complimented for them so I myself look in the mirror and say "this is me" genetic heritage, I might as well be proud of it 😊👍
What if my new boyfriend has a Girl as Bestfriend? The know each other for years now an she has a boyfriend. Does that mean, that he secretly loves her?
is it super cocky of me to admit that it NEVER even crosses my mind to ask anybody even anything? 😂😂ESPECIALLY my romantic love interest! Why does it even matter? why do people have this insane desire to know every opinion about everyone....?
I absolutely love your content 10 out of 10 babe ❤thank you for the value you add I love your podcast , tok and tube platforms message is so needed in this world
You speak the truth, Margarita, and yet you made me laugh so much with number 4. Your videos are amazing, I've been following you for quite some time now and absolutely love your content. Looking forward to the next one!
I found your channel a while ago and have been fascinated, It has taught me so much about self esteem and how women think (perhaps also how us men think at times too). I just wanna quickly say, don't pretend like at 2:50 that you're a 5. You're a 10. This channel is a 10 and you're doing great. Keep up the good work!
Great video but I 100% disagree with point number 3. Men and women can be platonic friends. Your advice has been so impactful for me recently but I think it's dangerous to advise women to give their men ultimatums over friendships! Isn't that the opposite of self esteem and security... Lots of men I know would find that a dealbreaker, if I tried to insist on that. A boyfriend once introduced me to a friend he'd slept with previously. I trusted. They stayed friends. 10 years later, I'm giving a speech at her wedding at the end of the month. Trust is oxygen in relationships. Big love
Oh…so last guy I was talking to bragged about all the women he got (on top of many other achievements) and I took that as a sign that he didn’t like me and I stopped talking to him…why would a guy think a girl wants to hear about all the women he gets!?
I laughed so hard with the last one because I can relate. There is this guy I’ve just started to date and the other day he asked me what do I look for in a man and I told him: “First of all, that he has his shit together”, and he was like oh I have my shit together, and I was like define having your shit together and one of the things he told me when explaining that is: “well, I have 100k saved in my bank account, and I have a good job”. He is 21 and I’m 20, to me, the fact that he said he has 100k in his bank account was impressive, I mean he is 21, but now with this video, I’m wondering if he was just trying to inflate himself to make me like him lol 😂 😂
Oh wow. This was so triggering. I was about to act straight after listening and do something stupid (my ex is a psycho/narc) but I won't. It'll calm down. It was the comment about Amanda not being just a friend. I had exactly that happen with my narc ex and I stupidly stayed and abandoned myself. You've validated my feelings I had at the time. I can deal with the trigger but boy Im still not over it. Love your honesty though thank you x
My bf wanted to find a female friend once and I wasn't okay with it. He said that he just wanted a female to talk about female things with. And he also said that they would hang out 1-on-1, even when I'm not there. I expressed how I didn't like this idea and so he never did go out to make a female friend but I still think it's really weird for him to want that because I feel I give him everything he would need from a female friend.
It is very weird. You ARE a female he can talk about female things with... If I were you I would ask him why he feels like he can’t talk to me about it.
Truth could not be sometimes straight forward . It can be sometimes in form manipulation because truth is complex sometimes. It’s not the words, but its what points to .
My ex did this. When i first met him i felt like he wasn't that good looking. I was drawn to his confidence and success. But in time i thought he was so hot....shame that turned into underhanded comments to cut me down. I thought he would value me because on a numerical scale i would likely be seen as a much higher number but no. Now I'm watching your content trying to build myself up. I did let this man determine my worth, not intentionally but never again!
Learned from experience men cannot have women friends while in a relationship without it meaning things will fall apart. A lady friend imo means he's already looking elsewhere.
We woman separete men in different categories, like the boyfriend, the friend the husband... they are not treated equally. The problem is that men who are "a friend" will be pushing your boundaries
Margarita, you are a godsend. Thank you for your channel. This is just the kind of advice and content I was looking for, and it helps me enormously to clarify my problems with men…
I think everyone confuses "love" and "want" . you can and should be loved for who you are but just because i love you doesn't mean i want you. that's the selfish part you cant love everyone and so you most choose someone and you'll use what ever preferences you have, after you have been chosen tho eg been in a relationship a while yeah just forget all that insecure shit ive chosen you and love you for you, but that doesnt mean let your self go you should wanna be the best version of you for you and your so
I started going through a deep depressive episode and my boyfriend suddenly needed to be friends with a girl from high school She is so real for this!!!
If a man is all of a sudden not being a man anymore and coming home being silent , there is definitely something going on. It could be porn addiction, it could be an emotional affair. Make sure you let him know he isn’t the only fish in the sea!
I've definitely got good guy friends who I've hung out with one on one but they are usually old friends university etc but I would say some of them are my closest friends , agreed as an adult I most likely would not be hanging out with random guys one on one as friends but I think men and women can definitely be close friends depending on the context
Girrrlll...you know damn well your number is much higher than 5! Haha! Not that 5 is bad or anything. You just are more of a 11! HeeHee...I LoveYou , girl. I might be a bit biasist! 😚💯🦋
I have also male friends, there hasn't happened anything between them and me. Also, the oldest friendship is over 20 yo old. There are actually loyal men but that seems rare these days.
I am afraid that men dont think in that way, they are waiting the exact moment to sleep with you... they dont think like us. If they are still there is for a reason men dont waste their energy, they have an strategy to get what they want
My issue is, I can’t stand it if they lie at all, like even if their intentions are geared towards a positive outcome, I still am so turned off that they lied to me. So this is why I am single lol. Haha like everyone lies, and I just need to get over it? 😂
My 55yr old X partner of 19yrs , I began to find it strange that all his friends were 30 / 40yr old females? ? Does anyone think that he might b a bit of a pervert ?? Or am I over reacting ??
lol # 1 is right. Why? because it's a trap. We know it's a trap. We know 5 years down the road you will still be upset about it. I will say I disagree about me noticing things if you worry about them. If I'm attracted to a woman, I look for things I find attractive about her. I grow more attracted to a woman over time because I really focus on what I find attractive about her and even become attracted to her "imperfections".
Get a 7-day free trial and 25% off Blinkist Annual Premium by clicking here: www.blinkist.com/margaritanazarenko or scanning the QR code.
you hsould heal your very deep wounds that you are not even aware of!its going to be very very difficult for you!you are very self centered...(im a healer) it's all for love really!
My toxic ex used to compare me to my friends and commented on things he didn‘t like about my physique without me asking whereas my partner now tells me I am the prettiest girl in the room and how good I look and how nice my body is every day. Both men know my insecurities with my weight. It‘s not all about how you carry yourself, sometimes the man is just an asshole.
The reason why women are insecure with their weight is due to what the media has been doing for years. This is why riots broke out three years ago, because a lot of stuff people are seeing is total bullshit.
AMEN
Preach...❤
No shit ? You think. That's so damn profound
If you actually are like properly overweight, or obese, well that solves issue one and two if I just won’t date that, wouldn’t date a woman with a BMI over 24ish (depends on you endowments or maybe if your some Olympic weightlifting lady). My BMI is 19.
My ex lived alone with his female friend. She was controlling over him and they were codependent. She didn’t like our relationship.. I unfortunately never asserted myself or set some hard boundaries around that “friendship” at the beginning.. I wouldn’t have placed myself in a strange triangle and known who his priority really was far sooner!
she was his girlfriend, you was the "wierd friend"
@@Alloniya dont gaslight
13.10😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😅 gosh how this was said. Darling posting this video literally saved the world ..thank you thank you😊
This is so on point, great video👌
This was awesome. You made me laugh at number 4!
This is my most fav video of yours 😭
Hi. Love it u are hilarious!!. I wish I had listened to all your videos.... Because I ... See now all my mistakes 😢😢😢😢
no 3 sooooooooo trueeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
how to know if a guy is a player & pathological liar, when he try to inflate sth, even sometimes hiding certain information he claimed would be detrimental to his value in women's eyes?
Watch his face, body language
In the part where you say ti be straightforward, some men may take the “I don’t like it when you do this, can you please do it that way” as you said, it ay sound as criticism to some men…what do you say about that?
I don‘t like it when men inflate their body count. They don‘t want me to lie about mine and I find it unattractive when men sleep around anyway. I think it‘s disgusting and a sign of emotional immaturity, lack of selection in their partner choice and a sign of inability to form a stable relationship.
I generally live my life in a way where I don‘t have to lie about such things and I want my partner to do the same.
@@anon-mx4jx I agree. Sleeping around is nasty imo. The only concern I ever had is 1.) do they have any diseases I need to know about, 2.) are they going to agree to keep the ex relationships in the past and not keep contact with these people if im in a relationship with them.
could not agree more! yet so many men want us to believe that the more they've "been around" the more attracted to them we should be...which is FALSE! At least for any woman of class/value and discernment!
@@NCPhilnotNPCphil agreed. it's completely disgusting and a total turn off if the guy has slept around.
@Phil T exactly i feel the same about all you mentioned ong. My now ex literally i told him about my past and how they cheated on me with their ex and my current ex didnt even bother to let me know or put on the table that he was still talking to his ex from high school ...that they just stayed friends lol bruh..like for 6 yrs? I dont think so. And he told me that shed try to get back with him..like bro..wtf is that? And he still decided it was okay to have stayed friends with her..while being with me..i feel like he just did it to post us on IG to get back at ppl who dissed him in the past..but whatever karmas a bitch i guess
...and he had asked her opinion on something i wasnt comfortable with lol im like bro shes not ur gf. But man that was one hell of a roller coaster i hope to forget soon. Its been a month barely since i left his sorry ass literally that guy also is okay with being casual with ppl...im like yeah im glad i left. I saw him on a dating app by chance and surely enough he was selling himself so to speak lmaooo. Im glad i have standards at least and respect myself too much
As a man who lies to himself on a daily basis this video really spoke to me on a personal level.
As another man, I can’t relate with you at all on that.
@@BEAST.420Gyou are different😂
@@truffaut650truffaut6 💯
So what you're saying is, it's not really 6 inches
what lies??
#3 is unbelievably true. Women who have had almost every single guy “friend” confess feelings or try to get with them, know this. Truly platonic close friendship between men and women is quite uncommon. Yes there are exceptions, but this has been my experience.
I have this female friend I am attempting to seduce using LOA simply because I find her attractive.
I'm super close with two female friends, one about 20 years and the other 13 years, it's purely platonic and been that way since day one. it's possible if you want it, but to say it's all men are lying is funny.
I speak from experience, absolutely true.
@@11111mhmhmh in the comments it says there are exceptions. But it’s definitely true especially newer friends/new friends.
Yes! Any guy friend I've had has eventually admitted their feelings and Ultimately ended the friendship cause they weren't reciprocal
Yup learned twice that men and women cannot be platonic friends unless there's is a true purpose to the friendship
Unless the man is gay.
Why so?I believe women and men can be friends.Unless they like each other. Why go in into a friendship with negative energies lol
Ex kept telling me “she’s just a friend” and kept behaving like that and putting himself out there and making less time for me. When we broke up, not even a month, he got with his “she’s just a friend” 😂 ladies, Margarita is telling the truth and I was younger and stupid for putting up with such behavior. I learned the hard way but never again will I be with someone like that.
Happened to me everytime with every boyfriend... 🙃 They're never just friends!
Ex kept telling me “He's just a friend” and kept behaving like that and putting himself out there and making less time for me. When we broke up, not even a month, she got with her “he'sjust a friend” 😂 men, Margarita is telling the truth and I was younger and stupid for putting up with such behavior. I learned the hard way but never again will I be with someone like that.
same thing happened to me and my ex about 3 years ago right when covid hit very hard. and i can even top that, they were together 2 weeks after our breakup! 🤣
I just love how she communicates in her videos. Very clear, direct and to the point. The only
UA-camr I can binge watch. Thank you Margarita for sharing your knowledge on this platform 🫶🏾
that means a lot thank you
@@Margarita.Nazarenko Are you listening to Aerosmiths Rocks album?
Yes she goes straight to the point . And I can actually listen to the entire video . Usually my anxiety makes me skip videos or run through them. Thank you
🙌🏼 no fluff or filler! So many UA-camrs just talk and talk…I love how she keeps it lean and mean and trims all the fat!
And as a ADHDer, it keeps me focused because it’s so jam packed with good stuff. Thank you!
I will never ever entertain a man with close female friends ever again. Ladies please don’t do it. You are essentially signing up for an open relationship in which the so called friends come first because “they were there first!!”, even though you as the gf are held to a much higher standard of behaviour and investment. I respect myself too much to date a beta orbiter.
Beta orbiter, I laughed out loud 😂👌🏽
@@heyitsjennifer Hi Jennifer I hope my comment didn't sound as a form of privacy invasion your comment tells of a wonderful Woman with a beautiful heart which led me to comment I don't normally write in the comment section but I think you deserve this complement. If you don’t mind can we be friends? Thanks God bless you….
Same thing with a man still close with their ex
Amen to this! I had the same issue I just commented about. I don’t trust a guy who is swooning over other women.
Notes
1. Put yourself in his shoes (don’t point out your insecurities)
2. Don’t ask men questions you don’t want the answer to (be confident and take compliments)
3. Self love affirmations aloud (you’ll convince others) (fake it till you make it)
4. Men love with their eyes / get interested with their eyes
5. Attraction, there is love however physical means a lot to men
6. Friends, something happened between them or one of them is holding out that something will
7. Men are attracted to things, hobbies, work, etc things in common
8. Clock things, don’t react, don’t emote, don’t scream if he’s putting himself out there understand, communicate, and decide
9. Not just a friend 9/10x
10. Men inflate woman deflate, take it as a compliment
11. If he was a player and been with all these woman he wouldn’t be saying anything
Omg the same thing happened to me one day … I was watching a show and there was an unattractive woman on the show (personal opinion) however her attitude and the way she talked about herself and carried herself totally convinced me that she was beautiful by the end of the show … wow
Interestingly this doesn't work for men. When a man of below average looks and height acts confident, in most cases (i.e. if that man isn't a celebrity, or in a position of political or economic power) his behavior isn't seen as confident but as delusional, cocky, overcompensating. His acting confident not only does nothing for him, it might even backfire on him. Of course being mild and reserved is also no option since a rather unattractive guy would then be simply invisible.
Doomed if he does and doomed if he doesn't.
@@iancavon7125 Work on being a better human being then maybe you won’t be so invisible.
@@99nickiewickie I'm not invisible, my comment was not about me but men of below average looks and height. Anyway, what do you mean by "work on being a better human being"? A 5'5 guy can't grow taller, a guy with a 3/10 face can't become much handsomer. And that other qualities, like confidence or social skills, ultimately won't do anything for short and unattractive men was the point of my comment, right? A man whom women are simply not physically attracted to can "work on being a better human being" as much as he wants, he'll never be able to really change his situation. I've witnessed this so many times.
@iancavon7125 that is bullshit . I once dated a guy who when I put on heels and he showed up I was much taller than him. When he showed up I had a weird look on my face and I said I'm gonna change my shoes I'm taller than you . He said no wear the heels . He was extremely confident it was so attractive. He didn't need to be tall . He was secure with himself. It was wildly attractive. Now he was good looking. But my point is being secure with yourself can get you a long way . I usually like tall guys but with him it didn't matter .
@@tinakuczaj3958 So what? You're obviously more tolerant, or let's say less shallow, than most women when it comes to male height -- at least you had been so in that particular case. (He was good looking, though.) It speaks in your favor, but doesn't change one bit of what countless short, average looking men experience all their lifetime with the vast majority of women. Those guys aren't all shy and clumsy, many of them are confident and humorous despite all setbacks. Sadly, it still doesn't get them "a long way" in most cases. You can't call my comment bs just because you feel your personal, purely anecdotal evidence (one shorter man you sometime dated!) to speak against it.
Btw, this is a UA-cam comment section. OF COURSE I deliberately generalize, and maybe even exaggerate somewhat, simply to state my point very clearly. I'm fully aware, though, that not all women are exactly the same. There'll always be some good girls left out there.
I discovered your content recently, and I just flat out love your energy
had to learn the "friend" one the hard way. he pursued his "friend" that i was skeptical about only one day after we broke up. Never trusting the just-a-friend bs ever again.
Never trust the friend line. One day or the other it will come back to bite you in the behind. This is coming from a male. Most times when a man or woman has a friend while in a relationship, they want to keep old lines/ connections open in case your current relationship fails. And that's never a good place to be because your relationship with your boyfriend should be paramount.
Honestly I’ve had the opposite experience. I ended things with my previous gf because she started to come off incredibly jealous because she seemed to have a problem with any girl that i was around. First she didn’t like that i was still cool with my exes which was understandable. Then it was co workers so I switched jobs twice, then it was old friends so i started isolating myself altogether eventually she accused me of cheating 13 times but i had to sit her down and really talk about the fact that I don’t think she genuinely thought i was cheating on her because she wouldn’t have stayed with me if she genuinely thought that but it became a way to gain control for her
In my experience sometimes friends are just friends and you should lead with trust until someone gives you a reason not to trust them. I think it’s more of a red flag if a man has no female friends. That means he’s probably trying to pursue just about every woman in his life, doesn’t see them as people outside of romantic interest and probably isn’t great at maintaining relationships or ending things amicably.
Focus on you and the focus becomes you.♥️
🙌
Totally agree. Men and women can't be friends. The man always makes it sexual.
Exactly, that is why your boundaries as a woman are always threatened. I stop having men in my circle, to be honest they cant control themselves... quite pathetic
Margarita, I cannot stress enough how your podcast saved my life. It helped me completely change my mindset and shift my energy. I went from an angry, anxious, resentful, burnt out person to a more peaceful version of myself, as a woman, mom and wife. I've seen my husband step into his masculine energy and giving into it everyday. Thank you for what you do. Your content is definitely one of my safe places ❤
I'm so happy for you and would love to achieve what you have
Which podcast dwelled you the most if you don't mind me asking ? X
help me 😢
She is NOT a 5 😂 mama is hot af
awww love you x
Over time, I found out that men would lie about anything to achieve their goals😒
That's false
Does that explain why all you care about is a man's bank account? Lol
A man should be a one woman only. A relationship with your lady is for life. Men love to brag and inflate their 'own importance'. Maybe another reason men tell women 'tall stories' is the fact that the lady they are speaking with is actually 'out of their league'. In the real world men love to 'compete' with everyone. Men often cannot relate to 'high achieving' women. This makes them feel like their achievements in comparison are very very little. A man that constantly brags is basically a man that is totally insecure and in the long term is using women as 'trophy women'. They are just another thing to add to his 'list of success' when out with all his mates. Men basically can be very insecure individuals. Beautiful women are not there to boost the ego of 'butch' males. Women need to be very very careful when dealing with boosting males. These individuals often are just like strutting peacocks who want everyone and everything to revolve around them. Some even could be covert naracists who love capturing gullible women who fall for their charms and their tall stories. Thank you for this video. May all ladies be kept safe from arrogant self centered males.
You just described my ex...perrrrrfectly...😂
I'm dating one now, the most draining relationship I've ever had
I would be really interested in seeing you do a video addressing social media because often, these boundaries are blurred, and I come across people disregarding interactions and certain behaviours/habits just due to them taking place online.
i agree!
Men will say one thing and do another to save themself in every situation and with whoever the woman is!! They hate confrontation or drama.
I wish the attraction vs. Love was stated to me when I was in my 20's. I didn't feel so worthy of taking care of myself as well as I should've as quickly as I should've. My husband LOVED me and never ever made me feel bad but I deserved to feel physically attracted as well. ❤ Finally got it and finally handling it!
No.3 applies equally to women.
(Given the examples, how could it not?)
So if your man tells you he doesnt like you having male friends, don't automatically accuse him of being 'controlling' or 'insecure'.
Very true
Not necessarily. The male mind works differently to a woman’s. Its usually men trying to constantly break out of the friendzone.
It is not. We make difference between boyfriend, husband and male friends. They are not the same they are not treated the same
Biz Markie - Just a Friend.
Many men have learnt this lesson the hard way.
The biggest Red Flag to no Marriage, is a women justifying her "male friends" to her good man. A good women will listen and start making effort to distant herself if she is serious about her man's concern, surly not justify it.
Women are gate keepers to sexual access, and this is their role even with ""male friends", so just like a good women avoiding alcohol in the presence of other men, night clubs with player fukbois hitting on them, or putting themselves in position at work, gatherings, or encounters where they can end up privately in a 1 and 1 position with a man who can affect them emotionally, the best a women really can do is avoid the temptation, especially knowing they could some day not be in a good place with their serious man, bf, long term other, or husband; and then fall into temptation to regret it forever in their life.
One note:
You are way above average 😂 you are beautiful 4:57
3 sounds like a lot of insecurities from your side. I have a really close female friend i met through a hobby/a friend of mine. She is a 10/10 but i do not want anything more than friendship with her. Thats all it is ever going to be. Saying all men lie about that just sounds like personal trauma. If a woman would want me to stop contact with my friend then this woman can leave. I am choosing friends over a new partner with insecurities…Like of course there are men that lie about that, but guess what, you ve got the wrong guy then. Also lying is the worst thing you can do in a relationship. It will destroy it in the long run, just be honest with your partner…All of this sounds so childish
Hahaha we know men, more than themselves.
Hey, I'm a man.
And I need to say man can be friends with woman! My two best friends are female. And I put my hand in fire, it will never happen something between us.
I agree as well with you, when you just met a person and wanna hangout 1-1, that's strange and shows that a person is putting himself out. Pls, make a difference between real friendship and let's see what happens.
You don’t hang out with them one on one. That’s key.
This!
@@bluevelvet2 with my 2 best friends. I hangout 1-1. But we live in other countries, so we see each other may every few years
With other girls, why should you do it. There is no reason.
Really?That looks like a typical woman who gets the …“name“…from guys …for example bitch,worse …witch …Gaga,crazy,difficult,too much,Devì´s advocate 🫣🥇🥈🥉😈
@@MikeeB96okay so you basically see them 1 on 1 every few years. Very rarely in other words. That’s negligible.
My ex told me he would probably sleep with my girlfriend (after me stupidly asking him if he liked her) - my lesson learned here. BUT he was also telling me (without asking) things like - you are too skinny, I can see your ribs, I dont mike this skirt etc. Also critisizing his ex girlfriends (I know because he told me) for extra kilos, outfits, hairstyle etc. Also without being asked. So although I learned a lesson not to ask stupid questions, this case was an assh*le making women insecure 😅 I wish he was a gentleman who would rather lie than be overly “honest” - btw he only wanted to make a woman feel less since he has had mental problems himself (not admitting ever). Good luck to all the women finding a man who would not make them feel not enough. Its in our hands!!!!! Never making the same mistake again🩵🩵🩵💪🏼
Now why would you wish he would have lied. It would of masked the nasty person he was longer and wasted much more of your precious time. As much as this guy was a douche. I commend him for being honest . He showed you who he was and left it up to you to decide if that was something you could accept or tolerate . He gave you a choice. Instead of pretending and stringing you along with a fake persona.
girl bye, good thing he told you so you know he’s not worth it
can you make a specific video on the female friendships part please
Yes this one is the works !
@@Margarita.Nazarenko yess please ♥️ thank youuu
@@Margarita.Nazarenko my ex gaslighted me about his female friends. When I asked for simple boundaries, he made it very clear who his priority was. Ladies, please don’t fall for his modern new age nonsense that men and women are exactly the same. A CLOSE male female friendship always has “couple vibes”. if the female friend wanted more, your bf would absolutely jump on that opportunity and you guys likely wouldn’t even be dating in the first place! And trust me, that female friend knows it and loves the influence she has in his life! You need to ask yourself whether you think your man going out on what is essentially a date with a woman he is almost certainly emotionally attracted to and DEFINITELY physically attracted to is acceptable to you. Let the pickmes have them. As for me, Never again!!!!
@@Margarita.Nazarenko cheers love!! much appreciated
Too many "Amandas" out there trying to act cute and being inappropriately friendly in the guise of professional cameraderie at work, it happens ALL THE TIME, ladies! Once I even witnessed an assistant ask a colleague of mine (an engaged man) if he wanted a shoulder massage when he mentioned he was stressed. Beware. Margarita's advice is 💯. Why does no one teach us these things?!?
Ok but it's your husband's bad and not Amanda's responsibility if he ends up going with her. Don't hate on other women
@@verankl22 oh yes, I agree with you. I was merely pointing out the surprising prevalence of Amandas. A man is responsible for his own actions.
Im a guy and I want women to know we want them to say what they mean, mean what they say, and not play hints, guesses, psychic communication to their man.........none of that works. We are direct individuals. Rather than having a fight over poor communication, just state clearly what you want as statement, no judgement, no attitude, just clear communication to get the communication across like you would a child. I agree with you that a man and woman friendship on their own when the partner is not invited along should be avoided. There is no sense putting your partner in the situation where they would be uncomfortable when it could be avoided .
PS Some of us like the imperfections in our women. We already hold you up high in our mind. You might not look like you did at 25 still but every wrinkle, every vein, every grey hair you try to hide now reminds us of the 25 yr old who stuck by our side through the ups and downs over the years. Maybe Im the odd man out on this one though.
@Mandy Mikulka Thanks for sharing your perspective on that!. Trying to communicate through "hints" is just bad all around. The only time I appreciate it is if the hint is made to prevent me from doing something embarrassing like forget her mothers birthday when shes over. I have gone though too many fights that were caused by me being expected to just "know" what my wife was thinking and every single time it has ended bad.
As a woman I'll tell you this. Men need to provide safe environment for women to be able to honestly communicate what's on her mind. If she is uncertain about your reaction, she won't be direct. Safety over everything. Give women safety.
I’ve learned that most men will simply say what’s sounds good on paper but not in practice.
A blunt straight forward woman is the same these guys label as bossy, demanding, fussy etc.
There is no win sadly
… I mean you literally said talk to you (men) like you would a child~ it’s literally exhausting
im expecting the same thing from men i know😂
@@alunalalune8691true
This is sooooo true. That’s why they say confidence is key . Bc your energy of being comfortable and loving urself is more than how you THINK others see you.❤
I can’t speak for straight men with female friends, but as a gay man, I have tons of male friends I have no sexual or romantic interest with. But they are buddies.
Are they all gay as well?
@@okaySam No, fair. About 1/4 are. But I guess I am trying to convey that in a relationship structured on honesty, integrity, and recognizing one's subconcious motives, I'd say it's ethical to retain friends you find attractive as long as you acknowledge it, maybe even communicate that to your partner, and then never allow it to become a motive. Maybe I'm being naive?
@@taylordixon5871 I agree with you.
@@taylordixon5871 It can be fair and ethical, but in hetero couples there is a different power dynamic at play. Attractive women don't have to invest as much in male/female "friendships". It's not my cup of tea, but I highly doubt my girlfriends would have been happy about me investing a lot of time and energy in retaining multiple female friendships.
@@okaySam Hmmm I'm not sure there's a different dynamic. Attraction is attraction. If you're friends with someone you're attracted to, it doesn't have to dictate your relationship with them. If you're in a committed monogamous relationship, then all other relationships can exist as long as you do not allow attraction to compromise your existing agreement.
It's the same thing with attractive coworkers. You have established boundaries, and you stick to them or you don't and potentially suffer the consequences. I don't think someone being attractive to you should dictate whether or not you can be friends or coworkers with them.
As for your girlfriends not being happy with it, that probably comes down to their ability to feel secure and the two of you communicating relationship expectations. Just my opinion as a non-expert and non-heterosexual.
I just realized another thing to love about you. When you edit your videos there’s no quick cuts/splicing/heavy editing, you’re straight up just talking to us. So authentic. When I made UA-cam vids a decade ago I used to cut out all my ‘um’s’ 😂
My neighbour kept messaging my late husband and flirting with him. He was oblivious to it and thought she just wanted to be friends. When I pointed it out he cut it off completely with her. I love how you say “this one, that one, the other one”! ❤
Creating opposite gender friendship when you married its total bs
HAHAHAHAH this video confirms that my man is not normal. He tells you everything straight on, no filter, 0 lies. if something looks good on you, he says it but if it doesn't he will say it straight. If you gain weight, he will say it. Wish he lied a bit more often 🤣🤣🤣
Why would you want a man that lies to you?? Appreciate his honesty as long as he's not being mean & nasty about it
Same!
Ok but if he’s saying it unsolicited then that’s totally different. I couldn’t be with someone with nitpicking condescending opinions
I think its a simple pattern lol my ex always said “They are just friends babe you are too jealously” to gaslight me ah yeah just a normal female friend that he talked for hours while we had arguments about her texts! now I sometimes Im so lonely after breakup but so happy not to be a miserable unvalued gf again.
As a guy I would note that sometimes when women see themselves as a 5/10 it's not superlative qualities you don't have that matter--it's the lack of flaws. 5/10 as viewed girl-to-girl may be much prettier girl-to-guy. /Results may vary as girls simply cannot see each other the same way as guys do.
Yeah because most women view themselves and each other subjectively not objectively so there is that
I am sooo glad i found your channel 😭😭 learning lots from you and comes at a great time now that I’m single and dating xx
#3 happened to me. I’m still recovering. The pain is enormous.
What if there's an Amanda but you're married with kids and getting up and going isn't so easy? How can we approach this?
Slowly get out of there… Very sorry.
No 3 I had to learn to accept - that men don't 'befriend' women, unless there is sexual interest. Not the other way round, which is why men can find themselves in the friendzone and eventually get frustrated. The fact you want to be his friend, if you are a woman, makes him think you want him. Why? Because this is how THEY think. A man also won't chat you up unless he is attracted, unless it's a situation where he wants your friend but fears rejection, so he tries you instead. Not necessarily the other way round, as women tend to communicate with everyone. But if you as a woman start a chat with a random guy, he will probably think you are into him. Why else would you talk to him? It makes me a a bit sad that I don't have male friends. A clique or circle of friends, that's different, but one on one friendship..? No. Unless he's gay, he's in it for the possibility of getting into your pants. And even if there is genuine friendship, they think casual sex could be part of that, too - to them it's worth a try, at least. The exception to this is if there is a wish to have you as their therapist - someone to cry to and who will listen non-judgementally and be used as an ego crutch. But then you'll have to ask yourself what YOU are doing with this guy.
Exactly
the fact that there’s no men here disputing number 3 says something huh😅
Thank you so much for sharing all this wisdom with us Margarita, I look forward to your podcast every Tuesday with so much excitement! You’ve helped me really build a foundation of self esteem and understanding my own power.
I want to be friends in real life- in person with you!! You are such a strong, stable, beautiful woman and I freaking love it!! Love to surround myself with confident, strong women. Oh how we would rule the world if we just built each other up like this woman.
Do you think number 3 applies to past friends that they're still friends with as well? Because I agree, but only if it's new "friends". My bf has female friends that I do not get that vibe from at all, at least on his end. Not to say he's not attracted/never has been, but that the relationship does not in any way violate our relationship boundaries and I think it's actually healthy that he's maintained those friendships. He also doesn't lie about any of the things you've mentioned, though I think most guys would (we have very open & honest communication about everything, to the point it hurts sometimes). I too have many guy friends (many more than he has girl friends) and I think the dynamic is similar. We are all friends with each other's friends. I would agree that if he all of a sudden makes a new female friend that he wants to spend time with, that would be fishy behavior, but I know he'd never do that (& if he did, it wouldn't last with us). But yeah, curious if you feel that applies to female friends that came before the relationship too.
they can happen when its from college so school etc or if they had friends in common as kids but usually to maintain it , it takes energy... so that would be a question
hey it's been 10 months an i'm just curious, did their friendship ever become an issue?
@@briannatwumasi6483 Sorry for the late response! It has NEVER been an issue!
I am a man and I think you are pretty much accurate.
I don’t love rating people as a 5/10…. Idk why. But I have been binging your videos and love your book list!! I’ve read many and plan to read the rest of those you’ve suggested! My bf is a DJ and he has lots of acquaintances. I could care less about them. I know deep down that we are together. I think it ties into the idea of being unattached to any jealousy. He loves me. I love him. If anything else goes down I know I’ll be fine….
Interesting, one of my facial features are big blue eyes..Now, I have been bullied as much as complimented for them so I myself look in the mirror and say "this is me" genetic heritage, I might as well be proud of it 😊👍
You give me life, please keep doing what you’re doing Margarita ❤🎉
What if my new boyfriend has a Girl as Bestfriend? The know each other for years now an she has a boyfriend. Does that mean, that he secretly loves her?
is it super cocky of me to admit that it NEVER even crosses my mind to ask anybody even anything? 😂😂ESPECIALLY my romantic love interest! Why does it even matter? why do people have this insane desire to know every opinion about everyone....?
A high body count devalues yourself is what I think! Not cool or alpha bs.
I absolutely love your content 10 out of 10 babe ❤thank you for the value you add I love your podcast , tok and tube platforms message is so needed in this world
You speak the truth, Margarita, and yet you made me laugh so much with number 4. Your videos are amazing, I've been following you for quite some time now and absolutely love your content. Looking forward to the next one!
I agree with #1, #2, #3, and #4. (However, your self-assessment of 5 out of 10 was a deflation; see #4)
😂😂😂😂 the first part cracked me up because facts!!!!! I legit know my husband is gonna lie! 😂😂😂😂
"He wrestled an elephant to death" hahaha you crack me up 😂
I found your channel a while ago and have been fascinated, It has taught me so much about self esteem and how women think (perhaps also how us men think at times too). I just wanna quickly say, don't pretend like at 2:50 that you're a 5. You're a 10. This channel is a 10 and you're doing great. Keep up the good work!
Great video but I 100% disagree with point number 3. Men and women can be platonic friends. Your advice has been so impactful for me recently but I think it's dangerous to advise women to give their men ultimatums over friendships! Isn't that the opposite of self esteem and security... Lots of men I know would find that a dealbreaker, if I tried to insist on that.
A boyfriend once introduced me to a friend he'd slept with previously. I trusted. They stayed friends. 10 years later, I'm giving a speech at her wedding at the end of the month. Trust is oxygen in relationships.
Big love
You're not a 5...lol
At least a 7.5.
Slightly reminiscent of Scarlet Johansson.
Heterosexual honesty.
Found you on tiktok, I totally agree with your advice and am learning a lot from you.
Oh…so last guy I was talking to bragged about all the women he got (on top of many other achievements) and I took that as a sign that he didn’t like me and I stopped talking to him…why would a guy think a girl wants to hear about all the women he gets!?
Yes, I heard that a bunch, too. So what I would do was start talking about other guys.
I laughed so hard with the last one because I can relate. There is this guy I’ve just started to date and the other day he asked me what do I look for in a man and I told him: “First of all, that he has his shit together”, and he was like oh I have my shit together, and I was like define having your shit together and one of the things he told me when explaining that is: “well, I have 100k saved in my bank account, and I have a good job”. He is 21 and I’m 20, to me, the fact that he said he has 100k in his bank account was impressive, I mean he is 21, but now with this video, I’m wondering if he was just trying to inflate himself to make me like him lol 😂 😂
Omg I love you. also I find you so hilarious “he wrestled an elephant to death” with such a serious face, woman you are so inspirational 🙌👏
Oh wow. This was so triggering. I was about to act straight after listening and do something stupid (my ex is a psycho/narc) but I won't. It'll calm down. It was the comment about Amanda not being just a friend. I had exactly that happen with my narc ex and I stupidly stayed and abandoned myself. You've validated my feelings I had at the time. I can deal with the trigger but boy Im still not over it. Love your honesty though thank you x
I'm so early. I thoroughly enjoy your videos, thank you! ❤
Yay! Thank you!
You’re my favourite. Always hit to the right point. Thank you, Margarita💙🤲🏼
Yeppp learned the "friend" thing the hard way. And it was a girl I was friends with...
You have a beautiful smile reminds me of Scarlett Johansson.
thanks kind thank you
My bf wanted to find a female friend once and I wasn't okay with it. He said that he just wanted a female to talk about female things with. And he also said that they would hang out 1-on-1, even when I'm not there. I expressed how I didn't like this idea and so he never did go out to make a female friend but I still think it's really weird for him to want that because I feel I give him everything he would need from a female friend.
It is very weird. You ARE a female he can talk about female things with... If I were you I would ask him why he feels like he can’t talk to me about it.
He did want a female friend... a friend with benefit to sleep with without you suspecting it.
@@necronlady lol nah he's not like that
I'm a guy, you did the right thing.
Truth could not be sometimes straight forward . It can be sometimes in form manipulation because truth is complex sometimes. It’s not the words, but its what points to .
My ex did this. When i first met him i felt like he wasn't that good looking. I was drawn to his confidence and success. But in time i thought he was so hot....shame that turned into underhanded comments to cut me down. I thought he would value me because on a numerical scale i would likely be seen as a much higher number but no. Now I'm watching your content trying to build myself up. I did let this man determine my worth, not intentionally but never again!
Learned from experience men cannot have women friends while in a relationship without it meaning things will fall apart. A lady friend imo means he's already looking elsewhere.
OMG you're NOT average!
As a man I can confirm #3 is accurate and therefore I have no female friends. What if your wife grew up with guys and they are still very close?
We woman separete men in different categories, like the boyfriend, the friend the husband... they are not treated equally. The problem is that men who are "a friend" will be pushing your boundaries
Margarita, you are a godsend. Thank you for your channel. This is just the kind of advice and content I was looking for, and it helps me enormously to clarify my problems with men…
Ur so beautiful margarita 💕💕💕
You are the woman I needed in my life❤
Wow!You’ve opened my eyes on so many things and I’m so grateful for you
Margarita... if you are a 5... then I better pack it in 🤣
You are super beautiful as well, dont say that.
No they wont most men are honest .This is paronoid thinking and causes division amongst married partners
I think everyone confuses "love" and "want" . you can and should be loved for who you are but just because i love you doesn't mean i want you.
that's the selfish part you cant love everyone and so you most choose someone and you'll use what ever preferences you have,
after you have been chosen tho eg been in a relationship a while yeah just forget all that insecure shit ive chosen you and love you for you,
but that doesnt mean let your self go you should wanna be the best version of you for you and your so
I started going through a deep depressive episode and my boyfriend suddenly needed to be friends with a girl from high school
She is so real for this!!!
If a man is all of a sudden not being a man anymore and coming home being silent , there is definitely something going on. It could be porn addiction, it could be an emotional affair. Make sure you let him know he isn’t the only fish in the sea!
I've definitely got good guy friends who I've hung out with one on one but they are usually old friends university etc but I would say some of them are my closest friends , agreed as an adult I most likely would not be hanging out with random guys one on one as friends but I think men and women can definitely be close friends depending on the context
Girrrlll...you know damn well your number is much higher than 5! Haha! Not that 5 is bad or anything. You just are more of a 11!
HeeHee...I LoveYou , girl. I might be a bit biasist! 😚💯🦋
I have also male friends, there hasn't happened anything between them and me. Also, the oldest friendship is over 20 yo old. There are actually loyal men but that seems rare these days.
I am afraid that men dont think in that way, they are waiting the exact moment to sleep with you... they dont think like us. If they are still there is for a reason men dont waste their energy, they have an strategy to get what they want
Margarita, I need more videos from you . I just started watching you and already almost through all of your videos. 😅
My issue is, I can’t stand it if they lie at all, like even if their intentions are geared towards a positive outcome, I still am so turned off that they lied to me. So this is why I am single lol. Haha like everyone lies, and I just need to get over it? 😂
That is the biggest reason I am single as well. I don't want to have to sort through the lies every day of my life.
My 55yr old X partner of 19yrs , I
began to find it strange that all his friends were 30 / 40yr old females? ? Does anyone think that he might b a bit of a pervert ?? Or am I over reacting ??
lol # 1 is right. Why? because it's a trap. We know it's a trap. We know 5 years down the road you will still be upset about it. I will say I disagree about me noticing things if you worry about them. If I'm attracted to a woman, I look for things I find attractive about her. I grow more attracted to a woman over time because I really focus on what I find attractive about her and even become attracted to her "imperfections".