“Trust issues” are more likely the other person’s “trustworthiness issues”. TRUST your instincts. The only TRUST issue here is with yourself. Micro-cheating is cheating. Lack of integrity is present. It will only get worse. Looking for evidence is safety seeking behavior. If his behavior does not align with your values, move on.
@@Barlmoro no, we all look at the other gender, it’s just biological, it’s not if he or she is looking, it’s if they are acting soon the attraction, such as trying to contact said person, or touching said person if you are in person. Attraction to the gender your attracted to is normal and you don’t have to feel bad about it, just don’t act on it is all.
Cheating is so horrible. I just recently found out how bad it feels to be cheated on by someone you love. Talk about the most painful betrayal one can visit upon another. One thing I can say, I will never do this to someone I love. Break up if you must but cheating is a despicable cruel thing you should never do to another, especially one you supposedly love.
Some people think that in a relationship it’s 50/50. It’s 100/100 because you both contribute and invest 100% in each other. I think that it’s important with full transparency in a relationship, because people who have nothing to hide, hides nothing.
“Sometimes you let go of people without even noticing. You stop thinking of them everyday. You stop waiting for them to reply to you. You stop allowing them to take so much space in your life. You move on, you go about your day without worrying about them. You stop expecting them to come back with an apology. You accept they are no longer part of your life. You just let them go, simple as that.”
We've gotten to a point where people are so scared to bring up an issue for fear of being labeled as clingy, needy and jealous. This only gives ammo to people to continue abusing. A person who loves you and is fully invested in you would never put you in that position to feel insecure or doubtful.
Or when someone who spent years earning your trust and building a connection with you, making you believe you had a future together just up and leaves you with no warning for a guy she met less than a week ago. Then when you get emotional, she uses that against you and says she doesn't want to be with someone who's too emotional.
It's more than a feeling though, because guys feel like they're the right one for me all the time but I've only just met them, strictly platonically, and they get heart broken and blame me.
@@Dizzy_Dayzy I’ve experienced that so many times too but most guys often aren’t as mature, evolved and/or in tune with their true feelings of authenticity. You don’t end up in a serious relationship with them because it’s not serious to begin with. Many women often gets their feelings from their instincts and intuition which is deeply grounded, and when they meet a guy who’s at their level you just know it and feel it.
Ive been seeing a guy for several months and we were ALWAYS together ... but then so much bullshit started to happen he is so secretive ... he was sleeping my place all of the time, he was telling my friends that he liked me alot and so much stuff. But we never had sex once. He said he wants to get to know me better and stuff like that even though its been almost 2 months of hanging out a shit load. He would say things like, I feel like at home with you, I love being with you, and we have a very nice connection. We would dance and cook and sleep in my bed, we would kiss and hold hands and go out and do stuff he would tell people that we were dating. Well at a birthday party I gave him a kiss and because of that I broke his trust and dont respect him and said we can only be friends and now all of a sudden he is in love with another guy Yet he still teases and play games with me. Im so like pissed of because I feel like I went through some sort of pschological war. And to this day he continues to flirt and act flirty toward me and acts like im his partner but he's sleeping with someone else he told me.
@@Thesheeplove2sleep That didn’t sound like a good and healthy relationship at all. If he had a real connection with you he would without a doubt also be wanting a deeper connection intimately wise. Intimacy is a very big part of a relationship because that’s where you give your all to each other because you’re making yourself vulnerable. If he loved you or you made him really happy he would be proud of you and giving you attention and showing you off in public. He wasn’t committed to you fully and I feel like it was all about him. Stop talking to him and tell him that he you don’t want to have contact with him anymore, because he’s teasing and toying. It sounds like he has narcissistic trades because he’s manipulative and that it’s all about him and that it makes him feel he has all the control. He’s very toxic and you can do much better and you most certainly deserve better!
@@kristinaveirumahhh… I found out that my ex-husband was cheating on me for over 2 years &we’re best friends and did everything together. Our phones were always open to show each other if need be. I swore he would never be the one that would cheat on me. He hid it so well that I never thought in 1 million years it would’ve happened to me. It was a girlfriend that he had 24 years ago. She reached out to him. He’s been sneaking around with her and claims he’s always loved her… Intuition can be wrong because he showed no signs of changing or anything….
There is a level of mistrust due to a person withholding information or hiding information that come to surface. Usually, when your boyfriend keeps pictures of other women on Facebook and locks his phone at all times, that is enough of a reason to not trust a person.
Totally can relate, I finally decided to pay attention to the signs. And realized my intuition was right, the fact I was thinking about ending things is sign.
Have conversations, conversations, conversations. Sometimes there’s more to the betrayal than you think. But in all know who you are, decide whether the relationship is still worth holding on to and don’t settle for less than you deserve 💜
So well said.. Sadly, too many don't believe they deserve anything better. I know it took me years of learning and working on my self worth to understand that I do deserve to be treated with respect.
Sometimes we can't have conversations, because it seems to create frustration and anger....I don't seem to feel the anger but the other person did...I liked talking about everything....he was opposite..made it very hard...
I just got cheated on/left for somebody else and I stuck my all into that relationship. I put out so much love and effort into someone who dropped me like a brick without having any discussions about our relationship going south in her mind. No conversations about any relationship issues she just decided to cheat on me after 2 1/2 years of being with each other
I had this recently happen too friend. May we both find someone better and not carry the pain and baggage these women left us with into our next relationships. We are worthy of love and they were untrustworthy and cruel. Best of luck Scott
I met once a couple which were together for many years and still very in love and adoring their relationship. I asked them what is the secret and they just told me :'You know when it is the right thing when everything comes easily, there is no effort in it!' Fair enough I told myself, it makes complete sense. So if there is too much struggle too often, that should be a red flag for sure! Real love should feel light and easy! xx
i think you need the right mindeset to let this happen. i wittnes in my shool classes back than maybe 2 girls who could go easy and the have boyfriends since the are 13 and still together. the other on the other hand did not achive this (even try to break this couples up). i overhear a conversation of two girls from my class. it gos like this: "I broke up with my boyfriend." "why? you seems so happy and did you not say he is perfect?" "Yes he is, he is too perfect. I testet him with drama, cose it was to peaceful, to easy." "whats happen" "he dos not like it and tells me to stop this BS. than i broke up with him, cose if he can´t handle me at my worse, he dos not deserve my best!" This conversation disturbt me till now.
I don't think that's always true .. sometimes you can have two people who are broken in trust because of the past.. so it's hard work lots of communication and there will be some flights, arguments, anxiety etc this doesn't mean the relationship has to fail. I made it my current boyfriend very hard because i don't trust anyone for years and years and every little thing he did even the nicest thing i always thought there was something behind it. And he was so scared i would just leave or wasn't serious.. but yeah you need to find understanding for each other. Now months later we can communicate about anything and everything we learned a lot. Having a relationship is putting in the work and working on yourself at the same time. A relationship doesn't comes easy always. But i have to say it still feels really effortless and easy because we both want the same and there's so much love i never felt and I just trust him now because he had so much patience with me and never did anything to make me not trust him. But yeah sometimes we so broken but I'm so thankful he saw right trough me
Be CAREFUL with that thinking. It's entirely possible to be with someone who you've spent years earning each others trust and building a connection with, who's made you believe you had a future together, who you still have amazing sex with and who still looks at you with passion and desire every day, to up and leave you with zero warning for a guy she met less than a week ago. When you believe that everything is great and they've done everything to make you feel safe in believing that, only to lose them the next day out of the blue... it hurts more than anything you'll ever experience.
Whereas for us guys, everything can be fine and she can be indicating that things are great, only to have her leave us the next day for a guy she met earlier that week.
First time ever: I’ve been cheated on after 10 years with a few breakups in between over the years. But it was “my fault” because of what I said in the past (over 5 years ago). Conversations stopped, he was more distracted, started spending lots of time on the phone, etc. Still in shock. It’s been almost a month. He had a dating app a few days later (I believe he had it together with me, and it was tinder). I thought I was with MY person. Text messages popped up on his ipad, claiming he was on a break, & 100%. He lied to my face, and I never got answers. Can’t wait to wake up and not feel pain.
i have just found your channel and your voice is so soothing. I was cheated over months by my partner of 37 yrs ( married 35 yrs) with a younger woman. I eventually had to let him go because I couldn’t put up with his behavior but I am devastated and broken hearted.
All we want is a loyal person , you shouldn’t be forcing trust , love and respect ,it’s there reactions and actions trigger you and make you lead into making you feel insecure,and when you dig deep is when you find out ,and the only way or most of the time is unfortunately is there phone and social media.
This is exactly my situation..and I left for the sake of my mental health. I found out that he was having sneaky conversation with my female friend. and my friend denies that they are talking.
It is..the pain is incomparable.That pain from the betrayal of two people you trust and you loved. They both blocked me and continue to talk to each other. I had no choice but to move forward in my life and accept everything that happened.
I had asked him if I could see his phone, because he was giving me reasons to. He was acting differently with his phone. Had it faced down most of the time I was with him or would lock it immediately when I would get near him. I was never the type of girl to be insecure till he started to give me reasons. When I asked him, he said that he did not have to show me because it was his privacy, which I understand. I told him he could go through mine and he said no. I have never seen him react so quickly when I opened snapchat. He is definitely hiding something, which is why I am ending things with him.
Thank you so much I broke off my 2:1/2 year relationship 10 weeks ago as my ex always text other woman and lead them on on and told me about it I didn’t check his phone didn’t need to I am not a jealous woman but I couldn’t take it any longer as I was hurting and didn’t even seam to notice and he was so excited about these text I became so low from a confident woman now I’m doing the shadow work and trying to pick myself up thanks to your videos even thought he moved on with in 10 weeks if us splitting if feel I can move on with your help so thank you 🙏
Thank you for sharing. I'm currently facing the same thing. Last night I found out that he cheated on me from May 2021 to July 2021 and I confronted him. I don't know what to do now and I'm really lost if I should forgive him.
If you're both trustworthy there's no reason not to be free to look at each other's phones whenever you want. They should be open to each other if you're at the point of commitment to each other. I've never cheated. If I wanted to leave the relationship because it would improve my life, I did that first and then went about finding somebody else.
Ok but this is not true, there’s no ONE way to do anything. Some people simply like having their privacy and if you don’t trust them then don’t be with them. Not looking through your partners phone shows even MORE that you trust them, and their integrity. It shows more respect IMO. Snooping doesn’t work for everyone.
@@baileyrogers4515 yeah! It would be snooping to access a phone when a couple doesn't permit their phone activities to be known, but must remain hidden
@@Dizzy_Dayzy of course I agree it’s sometimes important to have access to your partners phone in case of emergency situations etc. but if the sole purpose of that existing in the relationship is to look at their phone activity whenever you want, that isn’t demonstrating trusting behavior towards your partner and if that’s the nature of the relationship then the relationship just isn’t worth it to me.
I don’t know if you’ve done a topic on false accusations of cheating but I would love to hear what you would have to say… I’ve recently went thru this and was willing to undergo invasion of privacy but was hit with being constantly spied on which included audio being secretly made… the worse part is I’ve never cheated on this person or anyone… this was a 5 yr relationship that’s over because of the craziness… we even tried therapy but this person was reluctant
I believe that things eventually reveal itself so if he says trust him then you can let it go and continue monitoring and see if sth similar or weird happens agakn
How can I tell the difference between my Instincts telling me I can’t trust him or if it’s just me being paranoid from being cheated on in the past and now I feel I can’t trust anyone not even myself to have good judgment
This happened to me last night. A few days ago for some reason I had this strong gut feeling that something is not right and true enough I found out last night that he cheated on me from May 2021-July 2021. I confronted him and he admitted that he stopped after. Now I'm stuck and I don't know if I can or should forgive him. :/
@@emily080596 there is no such thing as forgiving someone. You only learn to live with it, or you stay and don't learn to live with it. I'm also in that situation. Sucks.
10 things to quit for all Strong Men: 1. Caring about what others think 2. Not believing in yourself 3. Not experimenting different ideas / solutions for problems (life&business) 4. Not prioritizing your health 5. Wasting your precious time 6. Wanting something (instead write a plan and work towards it) 7. Chasing meaningless relationships 8. Wasting or draining your energy from beating your meat 🥩 9. Wasting time by scrolling social media 10. Nailbiting/nailpicking habit for good (if you do it - consider stopping it as it makes you mentally weak + affects your confidence and all other areas of your life!) Take it easy and I hope you found one thing helpful in this list..................
I needed this! Thank you Matthew! This place is so painful, but this vlog is exactly the conversation I needed to hear tonight and have with my man soon. 🙌🙌🙌
@@tanyav123 Yes. We had a heart to heart and unveiled true feelings. We are stronger today than ever. It was a good thing that I initiated the conversation because it opened up channels of communication. He is a person who just “assumes” which is scary to me because I don’t assume so having this talk was so essential. But we are absolutely on the same page and we are stronger as a couple because of that. 😊 Thank you for checking in and checking up! ♥️♥️♥️♥️
Just so everyone understands, being attracted to someone else while in a relationship isn’t cheating and isn’t bad, it’s normal biological human nature, the point at where it becomes cheating, or negative is when you act on it, such as if she is looking at male photos online that’s fine, as long as she or he isn’t acting on it, like trying to contact them or in person touching or overly flirting with them, same with males. Attraction is human nature, it’s normal.
CHECK HIS PHONE. ALWAYS. You men have no idea the billions of times we have been with men who told us they weren't married or didn't have a gf, when they totally did, and even had children by her he denied. We have seen them take the calls in the bathroom or outside the restaurant, silence or shut off the phone, or hide a secondary phone. All to say, on the reverse end, ofcourse we need to BE SURE he's not doing the same to us. Asking or going by feelings is NOT accurate. The worst part is, PROJECTING YOUR OWN GOODNESS ONTO EVERYONE is a way to get hurt. Never take people AT THEIR WORD, it is unsafe and unrealistic. Always test the actions. But always remember actions can be faked with ulterior motive. Therefore, FIND OUT WHATEVER WAY YOU CAN! BE SMART!
I became so paranoid ,was horrible...but there was this constant unsettled niggling feeling something was off...checked his ph too...really hated this about myself. I believe phones and internet can become a big divider in relationships! What can we do?, it's modern life! Personally I miss the 80s but guess dirty magazines were hidden then lol.....
My boyfriend talks to women on messenger often on all day, he says they’re only friends with some of his comments are flirtatious. We had a problem with this when we very first started dating, and then everything was great and now he started again. Do I need to worry, I am worried but is it just meOr do I need to worry
Grab your hiking shoes and run! Dump the shit out of him. He knows he can get away with it so he will continue doing it. More fish in the sea, you deserve so much better Lena. Take care
My body count was a lot lower than I told my girlfriend. Later on when we took a break we met up one more time. Before the talk I told her my real body count which was a lot lower. She then told me how betrayed she felt because I lied. She said she couldn’t look at me anymore and she said she doesn’t want to get back together
My husband and I got married 9mos ago. He says has “trust issues” from his wife cheating on him 15 years ago. I am paying the price for it as he inspects our phone bill and asks me about phone numbers he doesn’t recognize. (I am a Realtor so I talk to a bunch of people). My ex bf that I broke up with 3 years ago will still call or text occasionally as shown on our phone statement but I’ve had him blocked since my Husband and I started dating a year and a half ago. I don’t get his calls or texts as they still show up on our bill but I don’t get them on my phone because I don’t want my husband to be insecure. I am fed up with him saying he has “trust issues”. If that’s true, you need to either grow up and deal with them, or not be in a relationship and cause grief on your partner who hasn’t done anything wrong.
i can understand that you are fed up paying this price. from the male perspective he is really damaged from his ex and maybe he needs someone who helps him overcome this, cose letz make it clear: for most men trust is the highes good. His ex brokes his soul with the cheating. and this scars will never fade complete. trust is a castle build on sandpillars it took time to build and can be destroyed with one wave. I think you did a good job to block your ex! i ask myself why the he still try to contact you. and tbh i can understand that this behave of your ex impact on your husband, cose at my old workplace i had a coworker (he rest in peace) that had a similar story, but the difference was; one day his wife unblocked his ex and start an afair with him, cose she was bored (her excuse). he told me this after he found out and a year later he drunk to much and drove his car into the river... Many would say you should talk with your husband and maybe go on a couples thearpy to work together on this. If you do try to find a male one or a couple of therapist. the thing is: if he feeld presured or he feels like the therapist can´t understand his side, he will resent this and it will bekomme worse. AND be not afraid to switch often the therapists if he is not 100% cool with the one you visits, its his healing process, you are only there to support him. And remember his ex did one of the worse thing a woman can do to a man. (one step more would be patornity fraud) and as a last tip maybe even it sound so simple: don´t promis you be trustworthy, this he will not belive cose this was broken in the past, show him that you worth his trust. Its hard and you need energy for this, but he you choose him as your husband so he should be worth it.
@@Barlmoro wise words and advice. I am so grateful to hear that from a man’s perspective. I will remain trustworthy and patient and be grateful and supportive that he has suggested therapy to help him through this. Thank you 🙏
@@charlotteboyett-napper4780 as a male that my long term ex cheated on me; I can relate. However I have accepted that i have trust issues, and I'm trying not to take it out on others. I'd say your current bf needs counseling to find ways to deal with it. I will warn he needs to find someone that will listen and help him work through this from an unbias point of view.
I wish I could get an answer with what I’m going through… I made mistakes early in the relationship Iv been in for 3 years. And now she has asked me multiple time to please be her best friend. I didn’t cheat this last chance she gave me but her worries got the past of her and broke up with me after 1 text was deleted. Now! I do everything I used to do and more! I spend all my time with her still and we have travel plans she wants to continue with. I’m so confused. I’m so lost. I’m so hurt! I need advice, I feel like I’m going down a path thats going to rip me apart beyond repair at the end.
Oh that sounds like he is very selfish. So he still wants things from you, sex, feelings, validation. But doesn't give you anything in return? Girl run !
@@chaimaalatrache9110 Yes you can. You are making a choice to be committed to someone who doesn’t value you. I’ve been there where I have been intensely in love with someone. I had to let him go because he didn’t respect me. Now I’m with a once in a lifetime kind of man. If you are having trouble moving on because you love him see it this way: If you love something let it go. People think unconditional true love is to cling or chase after someone, even though that person is making it clear, they don’t feel the same. This is not love it’s selfishness. I’m not saying you are doing this, but my point is if you love the person then you want them to be happy. So you let them go. You let them be happy even if it’s not with you. And that will open doors for you to find someone you are compatible with.
I love your videos .This one was amazing as I have been very very hurt and I am trying to heal and except what’s happened, the pain it’s like trauma ,sleepiness nights.I am 50 years old been with my partner for 2 years , he wanted marriage as I didn’t want to rush, loved him with all my heart and soul and still do , but I don’t think I can ever trust him again sadly we are not together now .he was cheating on me Thru toxic social media following other woman liking ect secretly behind my back . I texted my evidence dates time all the likes and sent him everything, he never apologised he never tried anything to win me back , I guess didn’t have to face to face me and looks like he truly didn’t love me .I know we had the most amazing connection we had passion we enjoyed everything we did together- camping fishing ect .He was so insecure thinking I might leave him one day ,and now I am left with a Brocken heart.its been 2 months now all he messaged is pictures of us together and how much he loves me and nothing else , I didn’t reply back ,no communication at all .my point is I know everyone is different how can it not effect me feeling insecure and hurt I felt so low and unworthy.It wouldn’t bother me if my partner went Thru my phone as I dont have anything to hide , I hate the fact men can just make a statement that women are insecure or jealous when they want to go thru your phone , if we didn’t and don’t - how are we to know ?of course your partner is going ask you to trust him ? I still can’t believe he has done this to me , to me it’s being unfaithful and he betrayed me I thought it was unconditional love in every way ,I really hate this social media and I feel so insecure now how men and what men do ,it’s very hard to find a loyal trustworthy partner.
How can I tell the difference between my Instincts telling me I can’t trust him or if it’s just me being paranoid from being cheated on in the past and now I feel I can’t trust anyone not even myself to have good judgment
“Trust issues” are more likely the other person’s “trustworthiness issues”. TRUST your instincts. The only TRUST issue here is with yourself. Micro-cheating is cheating. Lack of integrity is present. It will only get worse. Looking for evidence is safety seeking behavior. If his behavior does not align with your values, move on.
What is Micro-cheating?
@Barb B Probably inappropriate online activity. Anything that doesn't surmount to physical inappropriate behavior. Just a guess...
PREACH IT!!👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻✨
@@barbb3934 maybe if he look at model pictures online? like: why you look at other woman?
@@Barlmoro no, we all look at the other gender, it’s just biological, it’s not if he or she is looking, it’s if they are acting soon the attraction, such as trying to contact said person, or touching said person if you are in person. Attraction to the gender your attracted to is normal and you don’t have to feel bad about it, just don’t act on it is all.
Cheating is so horrible. I just recently found out how bad it feels to be cheated on by someone you love. Talk about the most painful betrayal one can visit upon another.
One thing I can say, I will never do this to someone I love. Break up if you must but cheating is a despicable cruel thing you should never do to another, especially one you supposedly love.
Exactly
Same here
Some people think that in a relationship it’s 50/50. It’s 100/100 because you both contribute and invest 100% in each other. I think that it’s important with full transparency in a relationship, because people who have nothing to hide, hides nothing.
Spot on...I love transparency...I simply can't hold stuff in...
Your right my dear
transparency is only for those people that are insecure
@@mikereortricano5465 Only insecure or people who’s something to hide says that.
“Sometimes you let go of people without even noticing. You stop thinking of them everyday. You stop waiting for them to reply to you. You stop allowing them to take so much space in your life. You move on, you go about your day without worrying about them. You stop expecting them to come back with an apology. You accept they are no longer part of your life. You just let them go, simple as that.”
If you constantly feel the need to go through his phone, that feeling is there for a reason, we have an intuition that is smart.
People are able to put secret information into files on their phone.
No one, besides the owner of the phone can get into it.
We've gotten to a point where people are so scared to bring up an issue for fear of being labeled as clingy, needy and jealous. This only gives ammo to people to continue abusing. A person who loves you and is fully invested in you would never put you in that position to feel insecure or doubtful.
Or when someone who spent years earning your trust and building a connection with you, making you believe you had a future together just up and leaves you with no warning for a guy she met less than a week ago. Then when you get emotional, she uses that against you and says she doesn't want to be with someone who's too emotional.
If the guy has nothing to hide, he would gladly show her what the conversation was. He was just gaslighting her.
Hi my relationship is fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
It’s so true, if you’re with the right person you know it and you can feel it deeply. You’re just not in doubt.
It's more than a feeling though, because guys feel like they're the right one for me all the time but I've only just met them, strictly platonically, and they get heart broken and blame me.
@@Dizzy_Dayzy I’ve experienced that so many times too but most guys often aren’t as mature, evolved and/or in tune with their true feelings of authenticity. You don’t end up in a serious relationship with them because it’s not serious to begin with. Many women often gets their feelings from their instincts and intuition which is deeply grounded, and when they meet a guy who’s at their level you just know it and feel it.
Ive been seeing a guy for several months and we were ALWAYS together ... but then so much bullshit started to happen he is so secretive ... he was sleeping my place all of the time, he was telling my friends that he liked me alot and so much stuff. But we never had sex once. He said he wants to get to know me better and stuff like that even though its been almost 2 months of hanging out a shit load. He would say things like, I feel like at home with you, I love being with you, and we have a very nice connection. We would dance and cook and sleep in my bed, we would kiss and hold hands and go out and do stuff he would tell people that we were dating. Well at a birthday party I gave him a kiss and because of that I broke his trust and dont respect him and said we can only be friends and now all of a sudden he is in love with another guy Yet he still teases and play games with me. Im so like pissed of because I feel like I went through some sort of pschological war. And to this day he continues to flirt and act flirty toward me and acts like im his partner but he's sleeping with someone else he told me.
@@Thesheeplove2sleep That didn’t sound like a good and healthy relationship at all. If he had a real connection with you he would without a doubt also be wanting a deeper connection intimately wise. Intimacy is a very big part of a relationship because that’s where you give your all to each other because you’re making yourself vulnerable. If he loved you or you made him really happy he would be proud of you and giving you attention and showing you off in public. He wasn’t committed to you fully and I feel like it was all about him. Stop talking to him and tell him that he you don’t want to have contact with him anymore, because he’s teasing and toying. It sounds like he has narcissistic trades because he’s manipulative and that it’s all about him and that it makes him feel he has all the control. He’s very toxic and you can do much better and you most certainly deserve better!
@@kristinaveirumahhh…
I found out that my ex-husband was cheating on me for over 2 years &we’re best friends and did everything together. Our phones were always open to show each other if need be.
I swore he would never be the one that would cheat on me. He hid it so well that I never thought in 1 million years it would’ve happened to me.
It was a girlfriend that he had 24 years ago. She reached out to him. He’s been sneaking around with her and claims he’s always loved her…
Intuition can be wrong because he showed no signs of changing or anything….
There is a level of mistrust due to a person withholding information or hiding information that come to surface. Usually, when your boyfriend keeps pictures of other women on Facebook and locks his phone at all times, that is enough of a reason to not trust a person.
Totally can relate, I finally decided to pay attention to the signs. And realized my intuition was right, the fact I was thinking about ending things is sign.
Hi my relationship is fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
Thinking about leaving is a sign? I mean I guess it is and then came the cheating which is another sign. but why can't I do it
Have conversations, conversations, conversations. Sometimes there’s more to the betrayal than you think. But in all know who you are, decide whether the relationship is still worth holding on to and don’t settle for less than you deserve 💜
So well said.. Sadly, too many don't believe they deserve anything better. I know it took me years of learning and working on my self worth to understand that I do deserve to be treated with respect.
Sometimes we can't have conversations, because it seems to create frustration and anger....I don't seem to feel the anger but the other person did...I liked talking about everything....he was opposite..made it very hard...
I just got cheated on/left for somebody else and I stuck my all into that relationship. I put out so much love and effort into someone who dropped me like a brick without having any discussions about our relationship going south in her mind. No conversations about any relationship issues she just decided to cheat on me after 2 1/2 years of being with each other
I had this recently happen too friend. May we both find someone better and not carry the pain and baggage these women left us with into our next relationships. We are worthy of love and they were untrustworthy and cruel.
Best of luck Scott
@@felixthecat4584 you too friend! We both deserve WAY better than how we’ve been treated. This will only bring better things in our future.
I met once a couple which were together for many years and still very in love and adoring their relationship. I asked them what is the secret and they just told me :'You know when it is the right thing when everything comes easily, there is no effort in it!' Fair enough I told myself, it makes complete sense. So if there is too much struggle too often, that should be a red flag for sure! Real love should feel light and easy! xx
i think you need the right mindeset to let this happen. i wittnes in my shool classes back than maybe 2 girls who could go easy and the have boyfriends since the are 13 and still together. the other on the other hand did not achive this (even try to break this couples up). i overhear a conversation of two girls from my class. it gos like this: "I broke up with my boyfriend." "why? you seems so happy and did you not say he is perfect?" "Yes he is, he is too perfect. I testet him with drama, cose it was to peaceful, to easy." "whats happen" "he dos not like it and tells me to stop this BS. than i broke up with him, cose if he can´t handle me at my worse, he dos not deserve my best!" This conversation disturbt me till now.
I don't think that's always true .. sometimes you can have two people who are broken in trust because of the past.. so it's hard work lots of communication and there will be some flights, arguments, anxiety etc this doesn't mean the relationship has to fail.
I made it my current boyfriend very hard because i don't trust anyone for years and years and every little thing he did even the nicest thing i always thought there was something behind it. And he was so scared i would just leave or wasn't serious.. but yeah you need to find understanding for each other.
Now months later we can communicate about anything and everything we learned a lot. Having a relationship is putting in the work and working on yourself at the same time. A relationship doesn't comes easy always. But i have to say it still feels really effortless and easy because we both want the same and there's so much love i never felt and I just trust him now because he had so much patience with me and never did anything to make me not trust him. But yeah sometimes we so broken but I'm so thankful he saw right trough me
Be CAREFUL with that thinking. It's entirely possible to be with someone who you've spent years earning each others trust and building a connection with, who's made you believe you had a future together, who you still have amazing sex with and who still looks at you with passion and desire every day, to up and leave you with zero warning for a guy she met less than a week ago.
When you believe that everything is great and they've done everything to make you feel safe in believing that, only to lose them the next day out of the blue... it hurts more than anything you'll ever experience.
GALS LISTEN TO UR HEART , WHEN U FEEL WRONG THAT'S A BIG RED FLAG !!
Hi my relationship is fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
Whereas for us guys, everything can be fine and she can be indicating that things are great, only to have her leave us the next day for a guy she met earlier that week.
Team. When one is weak. The other has to be strong.
First time ever: I’ve been cheated on after 10 years with a few breakups in between over the years. But it was “my fault” because of what I said in the past (over 5 years ago).
Conversations stopped, he was more distracted, started spending lots of time on the phone, etc. Still in shock. It’s been almost a month. He had a dating app a few days later (I believe he had it together with me, and it was tinder). I thought I was with MY person. Text messages popped up on his ipad, claiming he was on a break, & 100%. He lied to my face, and I never got answers. Can’t wait to wake up and not feel pain.
Decide - What level of honesty they give, and level of trust I give 👏
i have just found your channel and your voice is so soothing. I was cheated over months by my partner of 37 yrs ( married 35 yrs) with a younger woman. I eventually had to let him go because I couldn’t put up with his behavior but I am devastated and broken hearted.
So sorry that happened to you hopefully you are doing better
All we want is a loyal person , you shouldn’t be forcing trust , love and respect ,it’s there reactions and actions trigger you and make you lead into making you feel insecure,and when you dig deep is when you find out ,and the only way or most of the time is unfortunately is there phone and social media.
This is exactly my situation..and I left for the sake of my mental health. I found out that he was having sneaky conversation with my female friend. and my friend denies that they are talking.
Ouch. How hurtful!
It is..the pain is incomparable.That pain from the betrayal of two people you trust and you loved. They both blocked me and continue to talk to each other. I had no choice but to move forward in my life and accept everything that happened.
I had asked him if I could see his phone, because he was giving me reasons to. He was acting differently with his phone. Had it faced down most of the time I was with him or would lock it immediately when I would get near him. I was never the type of girl to be insecure till he started to give me reasons. When I asked him, he said that he did not have to show me because it was his privacy, which I understand. I told him he could go through mine and he said no. I have never seen him react so quickly when I opened snapchat. He is definitely hiding something, which is why I am ending things with him.
What about trusting yourself? On top of trusting your lover?
Girl don't wait for it to be a mutual decision just leave
Thank you so much I broke off my 2:1/2 year relationship 10 weeks ago as my ex always text other woman and lead them on on and told me about it I didn’t check his phone didn’t need to I am not a jealous woman but I couldn’t take it any longer as I was hurting and didn’t even seam to notice and he was so excited about these text I became so low from a confident woman now I’m doing the shadow work and trying to pick myself up thanks to your videos even thought he moved on with in 10 weeks if us splitting if feel I can move on with your help so thank you 🙏
Thank you for sharing. I'm currently facing the same thing. Last night I found out that he cheated on me from May 2021 to July 2021 and I confronted him. I don't know what to do now and I'm really lost if I should forgive him.
@@emily080596 pls dont forgive him move on to someone who loves you
@@braniefanie4938 thank you 😥
Hi my relationship is fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
If you're both trustworthy there's no reason not to be free to look at each other's phones whenever you want. They should be open to each other if you're at the point of commitment to each other. I've never cheated. If I wanted to leave the relationship because it would improve my life, I did that first and then went about finding somebody else.
Ok but this is not true, there’s no ONE way to do anything. Some people simply like having their privacy and if you don’t trust them then don’t be with them. Not looking through your partners phone shows even MORE that you trust them, and their integrity. It shows more respect IMO. Snooping doesn’t work for everyone.
@@baileyrogers4515 yeah! It would be snooping to access a phone when a couple doesn't permit their phone activities to be known, but must remain hidden
@@baileyrogers4515 I agree with you.
@@Dizzy_Dayzy of course I agree it’s sometimes important to have access to your partners phone in case of emergency situations etc. but if the sole purpose of that existing in the relationship is to look at their phone activity whenever you want, that isn’t demonstrating trusting behavior towards your partner and if that’s the nature of the relationship then the relationship just isn’t worth it to me.
@@baileyrogers4515 if that's how you are in your relationships then by all means do it your way. Are you trying to get my permission or something?
I don’t know if you’ve done a topic on false accusations of cheating but I would love to hear what you would have to say… I’ve recently went thru this and was willing to undergo invasion of privacy but was hit with being constantly spied on which included audio being secretly made… the worse part is I’ve never cheated on this person or anyone… this was a 5 yr relationship that’s over because of the craziness… we even tried therapy but this person was reluctant
I love your wise words” being the person you want to be in a relationship @🙏
I believe that things eventually reveal itself so if he says trust him then you can let it go and continue monitoring and see if sth similar or weird happens agakn
How can I tell the difference between my Instincts telling me I can’t trust him or if it’s just me being paranoid from being cheated on in the past and now I feel I can’t trust anyone not even myself to have good judgment
This happened to me last night. A few days ago for some reason I had this strong gut feeling that something is not right and true enough I found out last night that he cheated on me from May 2021-July 2021. I confronted him and he admitted that he stopped after. Now I'm stuck and I don't know if I can or should forgive him. :/
@@emily080596 there is no such thing as forgiving someone. You only learn to live with it, or you stay and don't learn to live with it. I'm also in that situation. Sucks.
The long hair looks good on you, Matthew!
10 things to quit for all Strong Men:
1. Caring about what others think
2. Not believing in yourself
3. Not experimenting different ideas / solutions for problems (life&business)
4. Not prioritizing your health
5. Wasting your precious time
6. Wanting something (instead write a plan and work towards it)
7. Chasing meaningless relationships
8. Wasting or draining your energy from beating your meat 🥩
9. Wasting time by scrolling social media
10. Nailbiting/nailpicking habit for good (if you do it - consider stopping it as it makes you mentally weak + affects your confidence and all other areas of your life!)
Take it easy and I hope you found one thing helpful in this list..................
I needed this! Thank you Matthew! This place is so painful, but this vlog is exactly the conversation I needed to hear tonight and have with my man soon. 🙌🙌🙌
Did you do it?
@@tanyav123 Yes. We had a heart to heart and unveiled true feelings. We are stronger today than ever. It was a good thing that I initiated the conversation because it opened up channels of communication. He is a person who just “assumes” which is scary to me because I don’t assume so having this talk was so essential. But we are absolutely on the same page and we are stronger as a couple because of that. 😊 Thank you for checking in and checking up! ♥️♥️♥️♥️
Great work Man
Just so everyone understands, being attracted to someone else while in a relationship isn’t cheating and isn’t bad, it’s normal biological human nature, the point at where it becomes cheating, or negative is when you act on it, such as if she is looking at male photos online that’s fine, as long as she or he isn’t acting on it, like trying to contact them or in person touching or overly flirting with them, same with males. Attraction is human nature, it’s normal.
Brilliant conversation
Hi my relationship is fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
Absolutely the reason to break up
Thank you for the absolutely amazing insight Matthew! It helps me a lot
Hi my relationship is fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
Wish I have someone to break up lol joke. Love the program
CHECK HIS PHONE. ALWAYS. You men have no idea the billions of times we have been with men who told us they weren't married or didn't have a gf, when they totally did, and even had children by her he denied.
We have seen them take the calls in the bathroom or outside the restaurant, silence or shut off the phone, or hide a secondary phone.
All to say, on the reverse end, ofcourse we need to BE SURE he's not doing the same to us. Asking or going by feelings is NOT accurate.
The worst part is, PROJECTING YOUR OWN GOODNESS ONTO EVERYONE is a way to get hurt. Never take people AT THEIR WORD, it is unsafe and unrealistic. Always test the actions.
But always remember actions can be faked with ulterior motive. Therefore, FIND OUT WHATEVER WAY YOU CAN! BE SMART!
This, right here is the truth!
"Asking and going by feelings is NOT accurate."
"Projecting your goodness to everyone is a way to get hurt"
You are spot on trust no one
I became so paranoid ,was horrible...but there was this constant unsettled niggling feeling something was off...checked his ph too...really hated this about myself.
I believe phones and internet can become a big divider in relationships! What can we do?, it's modern life! Personally I miss the 80s but guess dirty magazines were hidden then lol.....
The was the answer I was looking because I m going to issue with my relationship ☹️
My boyfriend talks to women on messenger often on all day, he says they’re only friends with some of his comments are flirtatious. We had a problem with this when we very first started dating, and then everything was great and now he started again. Do I need to worry, I am worried but is it just meOr do I need to worry
Grab your hiking shoes and run! Dump the shit out of him. He knows he can get away with it so he will continue doing it. More fish in the sea, you deserve so much better Lena. Take care
You're being played
Have the courage to leave
Leave. Please.
RUN
My body count was a lot lower than I told my girlfriend. Later on when we took a break we met up one more time. Before the talk I told her my real body count which was a lot lower. She then told me how betrayed she felt because I lied. She said she couldn’t look at me anymore and she said she doesn’t want to get back together
Hi my relationship is fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
Didn’t you fight for her?
love your insights. thanks
My husband and I got married 9mos ago. He says has “trust issues” from his wife cheating on him 15 years ago. I am paying the price for it as he inspects our phone bill and asks me about phone numbers he doesn’t recognize. (I am a Realtor so I talk to a bunch of people). My ex bf that I broke up with 3 years ago will still call or text occasionally as shown on our phone statement but I’ve had him blocked since my Husband and I started dating a year and a half ago. I don’t get his calls or texts as they still show up on our bill but I don’t get them on my phone because I don’t want my husband to be insecure. I am fed up with him saying he has “trust issues”. If that’s true, you need to either grow up and deal with them, or not be in a relationship and cause grief on your partner who hasn’t done anything wrong.
i can understand that you are fed up paying this price. from the male perspective he is really damaged from his ex and maybe he needs someone who helps him overcome this, cose letz make it clear: for most men trust is the highes good. His ex brokes his soul with the cheating. and this scars will never fade complete. trust is a castle build on sandpillars it took time to build and can be destroyed with one wave. I think you did a good job to block your ex! i ask myself why the he still try to contact you. and tbh i can understand that this behave of your ex impact on your husband, cose at my old workplace i had a coworker (he rest in peace) that had a similar story, but the difference was; one day his wife unblocked his ex and start an afair with him, cose she was bored (her excuse). he told me this after he found out and a year later he drunk to much and drove his car into the river...
Many would say you should talk with your husband and maybe go on a couples thearpy to work together on this. If you do try to find a male one or a couple of therapist. the thing is: if he feeld presured or he feels like the therapist can´t understand his side, he will resent this and it will bekomme worse. AND be not afraid to switch often the therapists if he is not 100% cool with the one you visits, its his healing process, you are only there to support him.
And remember his ex did one of the worse thing a woman can do to a man. (one step more would be patornity fraud)
and as a last tip maybe even it sound so simple: don´t promis you be trustworthy, this he will not belive cose this was broken in the past, show him that you worth his trust. Its hard and you need energy for this, but he you choose him as your husband so he should be worth it.
@@Barlmoro wise words and advice. I am so grateful to hear that from a man’s perspective. I will remain trustworthy and patient and be grateful and supportive that he has suggested therapy to help him through this. Thank you 🙏
You can change your phone number
@@charlotteboyett-napper4780 as a male that my long term ex cheated on me; I can relate. However I have accepted that i have trust issues, and I'm trying not to take it out on others. I'd say your current bf needs counseling to find ways to deal with it. I will warn he needs to find someone that will listen and help him work through this from an unbias point of view.
Please how do I reach out to you Matthew Hussey?
Can I call ☎️ in to the show from Africa?
I wish I could get an answer with what I’m going through…
I made mistakes early in the relationship Iv been in for 3 years. And now she has asked me multiple time to please be her best friend.
I didn’t cheat this last chance she gave me but her worries got the past of her and broke up with me after 1 text was deleted.
Now! I do everything I used to do and more! I spend all my time with her still and we have travel plans she wants to continue with.
I’m so confused. I’m so lost. I’m so hurt!
I need advice, I feel like I’m going down a path thats going to rip me apart beyond repair at the end.
Love this!! ❤
Unrelated. Matt, Love is Blind (social experiment tv program). Thoughts?
Hi my relationship is fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
How did the second clip end? How did she respong to him?
Hi my relationship is fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
He looks like prince eric
A video of he don't want me anymore but still have feelings for me
Oh that sounds like he is very selfish. So he still wants things from you, sex, feelings, validation. But doesn't give you anything in return? Girl run !
@@GreedyCookiesMonster im running!!!!
@@GreedyCookiesMonster I'm in love i can't run
@@chaimaalatrache9110 Yes you can. You are making a choice to be committed to someone who doesn’t value you. I’ve been there where I have been intensely in love with someone. I had to let him go because he didn’t respect me. Now I’m with a once in a lifetime kind of man. If you are having trouble moving on because you love him see it this way: If you love something let it go. People think unconditional true love is to cling or chase after someone, even though that person is making it clear, they don’t feel the same. This is not love it’s selfishness. I’m not saying you are doing this, but my point is if you love the person then you want them to be happy. So you let them go. You let them be happy even if it’s not with you. And that will open doors for you to find someone you are compatible with.
@@unknownstranger6875 I'm hospitalized because of him
😍😍😍😍
Hi my relationship is fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
I love your videos .This one was amazing as I have been very very hurt and I am trying to heal and except what’s happened, the pain it’s like trauma ,sleepiness nights.I am 50 years old been with my partner for 2 years , he wanted marriage as I didn’t want to rush, loved him with all my heart and soul and still do , but I don’t think I can ever trust him again sadly we are not together now .he was cheating on me Thru toxic social media following other woman liking ect secretly behind my back . I texted my evidence dates time all the likes and sent him everything, he never apologised he never tried anything to win me back , I guess didn’t have to face to face me and looks like he truly didn’t love me .I know we had the most amazing connection we had passion we enjoyed everything we did together- camping fishing ect .He was so insecure thinking I might leave him one day ,and now I am left with a Brocken heart.its been 2 months now all he messaged is pictures of us together and how much he loves me and nothing else , I didn’t reply back ,no communication at all .my point is I know everyone is different how can it not effect me feeling insecure and hurt I felt so low and unworthy.It wouldn’t bother me if my partner went Thru my phone as I dont have anything to hide , I hate the fact men can just make a statement that women are insecure or jealous when they want to go thru your phone , if we didn’t and don’t - how are we to know ?of course your partner is going ask you to trust him ? I still can’t believe he has done this to me , to me it’s being unfaithful and he betrayed me I thought it was unconditional love in every way ,I really hate this social media and I feel so insecure now how men and what men do ,it’s very hard to find a loyal trustworthy partner.
How can I tell the difference between my Instincts telling me I can’t trust him or if it’s just me being paranoid from being cheated on in the past and now I feel I can’t trust anyone not even myself to have good judgment
Hi my relationship is fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together