SHE’S WIFE MATERIAL BUT HER LONG TERM BOYFRIEND STILL WON’T MARRY HER
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- Опубліковано 15 тра 2021
- I had an email come through askshumake@gmail.com from a woman that wanted some advice about her relationship. She says that they've been together for a few years and she is tired of waiting around for her boyfriend to finally decide to marry her or at least propose to her. He's well aware of her desire to be his wife and at one time he seemed to want to marry her as well. Now days he seems to be uninterested in marriage and as a matter of fact, he gets aggravated when she brings it up.
This is a woman that has both of her parents in her life. In fact her parents are married to this day and have been together her whole life. She was raised in an environment that she wants to have for her self. Both of them have no kids and she is ready to have her own family, but her dream has been put on hold due to her man not showing any interest.
She wrote me, because she wanted me to tell her how to make her man marry her, but unfortunately that's something that he has to want to do on his own. My advice to a woman in this situation is simple. Never give a man an ultimatum, especially when it comes to marriage. You want your man to marry you because he actually wants to. You deserve to have the type of relationship you want! So if the man you're with doesn't want that, you should find a man that does. It's that simple. Never try to force a man into doing something like this if he's not ready for it. That will turn out bad for you.
"But I love him."
I know that it's not easy to walk away from somebody that you truly love, but hear me out...
Alot of men will never marry you if they don't feel that they have to. I know I just said that you shouldn't force a man to marry you and I do mean that. But what I'm talking about is not the same thing. Your problem is likely tied to the fact that you've been acting like a wife already and your man believes that there is no need to marry you. He knows that you love him and he thinks that you will never leave him. So he feels like the ball is in his court. Therefore he is going to move at the pace he wants to and there really is no guarantee that he will ever pop the question.
What will make a man think that he needs to marry you in a timely manner?
Letting him know what you want in the beginning, show him how much of an asset you are, and show him that you are the type of woman that will walk away if you're not happy. No hard feelings at all. You're just the type of woman that knows what she wants and will not settle for anything less. If you're really as good of a woman as you believe you are and you have that type of attitude, you are far more likely to end up with a ring on your finger.
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This is why our grandmother's told us don't give boyfriends wife privileges. There's no shortage of women out here willing to play wife or house. Recognize your value and move on, like he said. But do it for you, not him.
Women recognizing her own value doesn't necessarily equate to what you're capable of attracting.
@@garygreen7104 🤦🏾♀️
Yup, they use to say “they are not gonna buy the cow, if they getting the milk for free”!
What if he has a lot of money ?
@@genielove-ii6mv Well unless he's investing in you then him having alot of money doesn't matter.
Ladies stop auditioning for the position. Know your worth. It's not easy being single in today's times but your peace is worth the wait.
Yes🙌🏽❤️
A woman will always audition for the position! She has no choice, particularly in terms of a great deal of modern day women! Men and women don't get what they deserve, they get what they are capable attracting!
You can't get the part if you don't audition. Cant get the job if you dont apply. Can win the lotto of you never buy the ticket
Why isn't it easy being single?
@@otismichael2583 Audition for what? To become a single momma or to be stressed-out and "ran through?"🤔😬
I left my ex AFTER 11yrs for the same reason. He brought a ring when I left thinking that would get me back. I was dating several men. They showed me how much I was too content! I didn’t have to cook or clean for them. Gave up no cookie! Well 13months later I was married and pregnant. 4mos after my 1st child were pregnant again lol my ex definitely wasn’t hitting NOTHING!
Btw I moved out and left him with all the furniture. Got my own new everything bc I planned my leave for 6-8months. Didn’t let him see me. Eventually changed my number. Changed my car. Made sure I was hard to find because men like to kill women like us. Our absence make them go crazy cause they KNOW THEY WILL NEVER FIND ANOTHER US.
Move on ladies.
Personally Nickie I love your moving out strategy 👏👏👏👏 you were highly conscious of the risk. Ghosting was necessary. I wish other women will be so aware, especially those in domestic violence situations. GHOST!
@Bufftygirl 72 oh yesss. I heard a few months ago that he is skinny/like sick looking skinny. And still try’s to bring me up in EVERY conversation. He can’t move on. Still single. And knows nothing about my children. He act confused as if I wasn’t warning him for years!
@@countrylay_d4389 I really do wish they would understand the importance of planning accordingly. Some of us don’t make it out safely. Their insecurities won’t let us go. Their guilt won’t allow them to see their wrongs. And their ego won’t make them face that you literally don’t want them...none of them!
My ex actions after I left showed me that he could have definitely harmed me even though I wasn’t being abused. I watch too much tv and knew his life would change bc he was a dusty that didn’t believe in saving.
@@personallynicki2455 You stayed with that boy for 11 years?!!! 👀
@@LUX_8 I forgave myself. Yes, unfortunately. I got comfortable & started to believe it was the norm.
Alot of women have wifey written all over their forehead, some men just can't read. BOOM 🔥 🔥 🔥
Long term b oty call with benefits 😂
I’m at the point where I’d rather be single and lonely than to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t value my time.
Never be a wife to your boyfriend!
Easier said than done 😅
May we have a minute of silence for the women who gave wife duties at girlfriend price.
(I was once one )
@@mariamihaleva3430 ugh you’d think I’d learn at 44. It’s so hard but it had to end.
Most people have sex before marriage so stop😂.
We do it to show him we are wife material if we don't he will think we're not
Don’t shack up with a guy who won’t marry you.
Don't shack up.
Facts
Welp too late for most. Human nature & life happens haha 😉
As a woman who has loved a man like this, it’s so hard to walk away. But it’s necessary for your peace of mind.
I'm so glad I stand FIRM on not shacking up. That definitely helped
Facts
And self respect
It's not hard. I did it!!!!!!!
It's what you will tolerate!!!!!!!
]]!]!```♧
I never understood what's the point of PLAYING wife instead of BEING a wife. Smh
There really is not point in it, other than wasted time. God doesn't bless it until it is sealed with the ring the right way.
There is no difference. Marriage does not Inherently gift you anything.
You can be life long partners and have a far better relationship than someone who doesn't want to get married
@@Denzz2There is a difference but it only pertains to how much the man can get reamed financially when the relationship ends. From the perspective of men who increasingly understand this reality, his girlfriend fails the test of loving him for who he is the moment she starts to talk about marriage.
@@Denzz2bingooo! It’s a social construct
You gave very sound advice. If a man wants to marry a woman, he won't waste time. If you have to beg, make any ultimatums or compromise any way. Then leave because he really doesn't want to with *you*.
💯 brilliant point ✊🏿
@Error Report That's some BS. And yeah she definitely compromised herself somewhere in their relationship. It was difficult off camera for a while for it end like that. And he used her for views.
@Error Report I Guess.. If they say so.
If you actually wanted to be with the man for himself, and not legal and financial perks, you would just be with him and not be trying to get him to marry you in the first place.
Do not go back until a marriage date is set and do not move back in together until after the marriage.
Even then there will be a million more excuses. Don't come back until you're his WIFE! By that point
Thank you for this message. A relative let a so called “love of her life” waste her time for 6 long years. Their relationship ended and he moved on marrying the new woman within a year of courting, bought a house together and everything. She never got over it. Fast forward 23 years later, age 54 still unmarried and no kids, she still thinks he’s still the love of her life contact and end up hooking up with him, he’s still married but tells her he’s separated, gets her on her back, dumps her then go back to his wife. It’s a mess. 54 years old and still being lied to and getting played by grown boys.
😮
@Alysia Williams yes, and it’s a serious issue, another woman I know wasted 15 years of her life with a red pill beta male, end up depleting her life savings, had her constantly on rotation. Both women became so depressed to a point of wanting to commit suicide. My advice to women is if he’s not stepping up to take the relationship to the next level, within a year gone bought your business, never enter a relationship with a scarcity mindset, thinking this is the only one. There are 4 billion more men out there. Your husband is out there.
Wow...and people think I'm crazy bc I don't won't to deal with this. We all make mistakes but only God can heal you and get you out the side chick mindset. Men know who they want to build with and boys know who to play with! God bless us all💗
I can tell you watch tony just by your statement
That’s heart breaking…
I know several women in this position..with men 5,10 years. Good women having kid, holding up their men and the guys saying ' they looking on still to see if she's worthy of marriage.' wife without marriage! That's what these women settle for. Come on women, have more respect for yourselves.
Point blank. It doesn't take a man YEARS to know if YOU'RE the ONE! While you're serving as a PLACEHOLDER for a man who doesn't WANT YOU, it only DELAYS your opportunity to meet the man that does want you! With that said, ladies, never ever underestimate the value of SOLITUDE and PEACE!
If a man is interested in you he’ll ask you out, if he wants you he will marry you.
If a woman wants you she'll be with you regardless of marriage status, which only has a tangible effect upon the end of the relationship. All these men don't want to marry women because they can see this marriage talk for the blatant exit planning that it really is. They're practicing self preservation.
"Good men don't beg for what they deserve" - this is a WORD.
I literally just found you today, and watched a bunch of your videos. 23 minutes ago you posted this. A few weeks ago I broke up with my boyfriend of 5 years because he can't give me a straight answer on marriage & kids. I get it- he's not ready. I have compassion for him. It is just such a coincidence you posted this today. God's timing I guess!
Good for you, wait for God’s best!
You made the right choice sis
@Koriander Yander I actually disagree. I wouldn't call what I did "what not to do". I don't regret a thing. I learned so much from that man, and he is a good man. He was my best friend prior to dating. He didn't have any malicious intent. Our break up mutual because we BOTH feared we were wasting the other's time, as we had different goals. So many men rush into marriage, and I am proud of him for respecting me and himself so much.
He gives great to the point advice .
Bravo!
She cooks, cleans, and caters to her man...First mistake 😅🤣
Bingo!!!
The longest relationship I’ve been in was 2.5 yrs. I broke it off but he did not want me to go so he would verbally & emotionally abuse me to try & control me. So I planned in advance to disappear. The apartment was in my name only; ended the lease. The car is mine; repossessed it. I have 2 jobs plus school refund checks & tax returns; no way to depend on him, HA!🤣 Changed my #, blocked him on all social media platforms, & moved to my parents house.
I made SURE he couldn’t find me OR have me back. I’m enjoying my freedom, I get to date men on my level, get to hang with my friends & travel. Finishing school and working for a high end company. No kids.
why did it take you so long to realise he wasnt the one for you?
@@coolrunnings1936 within a year of the relationship and one of his fat side chicks called me a created a drama between the 3 of us. Ever since then I never trusted him. I even questioned why he was with me if he likes fat girls. So I did all I could to leave but that’s when he became abusive and tried to control me
@@msgonsalves3668 ok i hear that. thats life... we live and learn right!? i dont know your age but try not to have a relationship with your work. you seem like a good girl and im sure you'll make a great wife if thats what you desire to be? just dont wait till over 35 because it'll be a lot harder to find the man you want? im in my 30's myself and i wouldn't marry a woman close to my age for various reasons e.g. i want 3 or more kids and being over 30 can complicate things. but hey thats just me! 😁
I’m basically in the same boat as you except I was married. The freedom and peace you have once you leave is just unmatched. Happy for you girl ❤️
STOP SLEEPING WITH PEOPLE YOU AREN'T MARRIED TO.....PERIOD! THEY'RE ONLY BORROWING YOU (and may or may not chose you when it's all said and done)!!!
That's ... good advice ... in 1950. In 2022, that's a good way to never keep a man.
@Tinyfată No man can be kept. A man CHOOSES to stay.
You sho telling the truth young man. I have experienced that. A man will not do no more than what you allow him! I have walked away from 1 man putting off marriage. It was hard but I was fed up. Had enough. I was good enough to shack up but not marry, .............. believe me, I had my own cars, bought my first house at age 21, ( I was 43) Good job and common sense. After I left and met some one that knew my worth, he was begging/ crying to come back and even proposed, but it was too late. It's been 17 years and he still regrets it. Mind you I just wasted one year on him.
Don't beg a man for what doesn't need negotiating. You're wife material by virtue of the work you put into being a good woman.
Dont bring all that if you dont marry me I will do this talk....let him see you emotionally walk out......if he ain't giving you that ring..simply put...he dont think you deserve it...so give the space to the woman he will give the ring to and move on...these are the type of men who marry someone in two weeks and you wonder why...dont force a man to marry you
This video gave me the courage to end things with my boyfriend. We've been together a year and a half. He wasn't giving me any indication that he was thinking of a future with me. I brought up the subject and he was vague and shared that he wasn't ready in so many words. He told me he didn't want to lose me, but he also wasn't ready to do what it would take to keep me. So as painful as it was, I walked away. It hurts, but I wholeheartedly believe what you say. If he is for me, he will do what it takes to make it right. If not, then I just made room for the right one.
Update: Everything you said in the video happened. I walked away and prepared myself to move on. Almost a month later, my boyfriend came back and asked me to give us another chance. He shared what he was doing to prepare for me to be in his life long term. Since we've been back together he has definitely shown me with his actions that he values our relationship. He's still on probation, but I think we're going to be just fine. This break was definitely needed and served a purpose for both of us. Ladies, do not be afraid to walk away. This advice is spot on.
@@ttj3v Hi Toni, thanks for sharing your story. Would you mind giving an update how it is going now? I've been with my bf for roughly two years and he says he wants to get married and have a family. He hasn't proposed though and my feeling tells me he won't anytime soon. And I can't even blame him as I broke up with him a couple of times during those two years (not at all related to him not proposing). I wouldn't trust me either if I was him. Not sure how I can change that..
@@ttj3vI’m think a break will be a good idea as well. March makes 3 years but come January 1st my times up.
Too many of these grown boys don't want a good woman , they want someone to take care of them. They don't want a good & strong person to spend their lives with - a true wife. If a man wants to be a husband he's not going to be afraid of commitment and responsibility. He will considerate it a privilege to find a woman of value.
Facts
IT'S TIME TO LEAVE!
BEYOND!!!!
Are they living together? If so that was her first mistake. Don’t play house with a man.
Dealing with this bs right now.
I'll be walking next year. Married me knowing that I wanted children, then constantly dodged the topic for almost 16 years. She played wife without the commitment so he knows that he doesn't have to give more of himself. If she has the means to leave now just leave.
"Don't beg a man for what you deserve " somebody put that on a t-shirt! 🙌🔥
THIS! How destined this is, I literally walked away from a 2,5 year relationship yesterday, and today I found your vids. Only difference that my ex partner would make empty promises VERY early on in our relationship - he, since August 2021, kept telling me how he will marry me, how we will have kids, how we will get old together, and I am the love of his life. After he hurt me in an argument a few days back, I came to the point: I gave him an ultimatum. It's his time to make those promises true or let them be empty ones. Needless to say, he said he is financially not stable for it (just another excuse in my book, he's not down bad). But God knows he won't stop me no more in finding my husband.
Damn….. I really needed to see and hear this… I’ve been with my kids dad since I was 15. I just turned 27 on April 18th. I had 3 kids for him and still no commitment. It’s my own fault for being stupid but I always told myself he will marry me one day. I cook, I clean, I work, I got degrees and I please him as much as possible but when I bring up marriage he always uses the excuses I don’t make enough money or “you know when I get money to buy one I will” but has yet do so. I’m at the point where I can’t even look at him. It’s time for me to move on. Thank you for this video.
I've read all the comments, but this one I had to comment on. 12 yrs and 3 kids later.......wow, u guys should be married, ur doing everything married couples do. He is making excuses. He can get a ring and make payments or whatever. It's not about the money or size of the ring, but the actual marriage itself. That's what matters. Ur young and have ur whole life to live still. Don't settle for less. Wishing u the best!!!
@@jennarein5527 I left him it’s been 5 months since I’ve been with him. I’m healing and moving on with my life. I’m not happy but I’m getting there . Thank you for your message.
lol
I think sharing a daughter with my boyfriend is what’s keeping me with my boyfriend. He says he wants to get married in the future. We’ve had struggles and big fights so even I think we have a lot of work to do before marriage. I’m just confused on what to do.
I was with a man for 7 years and still no marriage and later he ghosted, then I met someone else and he cancelled the wedding plans two times and left me with the wedding dress, the wedding chapel expenses, that I was crying, I gotten rejected for marriage 5 times with different men, I'm 43 and still single because they don't want to commit, that's why watching this video
Remember, gentlemen: "Why aren't you married, you're such a good guy?" is a question that answers itself.
💯 brilliant point ✊🏿
So true because they play games and women see this and run. Theres a reason certain men arent married not just women. Lol
I swear so many ppl don’t realize a persons worth and how much value they added to their life until they’re gone. It’s so sad. This goes for friends too. If you have solid person that cares about you, please show them genuine appreciation.
@A FFTFOMSICHTS so true even your good friends can not appreciate you or take you for granted...
Never move in with a man before marriage and if he's not showing you signs that he's ready for marriage while dating leave. Don't let your bf make you miss out on your husband.
Crazy when u invested time and gave ur heart and feel established and do all that and they won’t choose u but when u leave they will choose someone else. I feel so worthless as a woman. Feel like all these married women have the code to something I don’t. I’m staring from the outside. Successful in every area of my life but still unmarried. It’s depressing. I left and he moved on
Ugh, I’m closing in on two years. Going to have to pull the plug soon.
2 years and had the convo, he got mad and said he don’t want to, I’m definitely working on exiting stage left
Well. I just broke up with my 3 year-bf because he doesn't know when he will be ready to marry me and I found this video. Thank you so much for your advice! It means a lot🥰
Hope you never looked back
It's far more popular for men to talk about when they're "good" while leaving a woman than it is for them to talk about a good woman leaving them.
It's been 15 years and I still cry about the one that got away from me.
Stay strong bro.
I know this is old, but im struggling with this now. A good woman i know loves me n would be a good wife but not exactly the kind of woman i saw myself with.
@@marquesridley2464 I suppose the question is whether you love her and want to build a life with her. It takes two even if she loves you if you don't love her back it won't work
Why get married
That was YOUR fault
Damn she doing better than I did. I wish I had this advice back when I was with my ex. I gave him 5 years and he still didn't want me. ✌️❤️🌞
I am sorry
You left someone over a piece of paper
@saferides2474 No she left him for her piece of mind
@@KOMEDYQUEEN even when she gets married she not going to have piece of mind that's how slow women are y'all think marriage going to cure something instead of working something out when you have a good one you throw it away over a piece of paper 😁
@saferides2474 it's called tired of waiting , sometimes they end up not wanting marriage it's the idiots fault if he thinks she will just wait forever
Stay strong, get some self-esteem and MOVE ON IN 2021. There are too many other fish in the sea to waste on someone who is using you.
🥰 Stop talkin' and start walkin'. I'm not with that running back stuff ... once you're gone, stay that way!
I'm learning this. Men invest in who they see a future with period. Men are simple. 6 months in a offical relationship is all it takes for a man to know your the one.
Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?
Boyfriend? After high school, maybe college, that whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing is dead in the water. Single people need to date around, live life and have fun. I didn’t do that boyfriend/girlfriend mess and I still got married. Dating doesn’t equate to sex for the slow people who think it does.
@Arlene Augusta amen no sex..
Agree with 💯. I could be some of your listeners auntie (if they’re in their 20’s ☺️) so I say ditto to your statements! A man will “breadcrumb you when he knows you’re never going to leave”. If and when you do, THAT’S when MOST of them will feel it.
Ive been with my man over 4 years now. My cut off time is 5 years and 5 years will be in August next year. No ring by then, im gone. Were both 28 years old and neither one of us has kids. He says he wants me and says I'm the only woman he wants, yet no ring. He doesnt have much time left.
You hit the nail on the head. 5 years and 44. He’s 47 he gets irate and I’m tired of it. I don’t want to be 80 and dating.
Well the other problem is that the VAST majority of men and I'm talking about a particular group of men are NOT husband material LOL...cheaters; baby daddies 3, 4, 5 times over; can't afford to take care of themselves let alone a wife and children; and can we talk about the domestic violence...it's bad out here for women looking for a husband...and even if you meet a man who DOESN'T have any of those things going on then there's other issues that arise...him acting like he's the prize (you know the type of feminine men I'm talking about); then him being stingy with his time, money and resources but expecting you to give your ALL; the wanting to "keep you in your place" instead of uplifting you...so it's hard out here and most men don't even WANT a wife---what they want is a maid, child barer and someone that will basically be their sex slave...and even when you're doing those things if he's got a wandering eye he'll be looking for other women soon enough...VET all men but there's a particular group of men you're just going to have to leave ALONE altogether...I'll let the ladies draw their own conclusions about the group of men I'm talking about...
I believe there is a healthy boundary for both parties in which they “play house”. I don’t believe it is in our best interest to treat your boyfriend/ girlfriend as your husband/ wife. Especially when it is one sided, then that means the giver should engage in some self work. There is a difference between what you want vs what is happening right before your eyes. Be true to yourself. We can’t expect our partners to be true to us when we are not true to ourselves.
There are a lot of women in such situations.
I am black woman and I have never lived with a man. I will never live and act like wife but never the wife.
When I was young this happened to our neighbour. I thought they were husband & wife until one day. He put all her clothes and everything she owns on the front lawn and changed the locks. It was then I realised that they were not married and it was that day I decided that I would never lived/shack up with a man who is not my husband.
He is getting the golden goose without paying for it. It a lesson parents should teach their children and let the man show respect to you/women.
This man is speaking facts... I know from experience💯
If he can't appreciate you unmarried. What the hell is he going to do when he does? Stop throwing your pearls before swine. As a matter of fact, that asshole will run when he thinks someone else is getting it. But don't play games, just find someone else.
Thank you for being honest and open for this woman... ❤ Love the advice... there is no more dating in that scenario the qualification for him to receive the services and goods you provide is engagement at this point. No ring we need to just keep it moving 💯😌
Thank you for being willing to acknowledge good women are struggling out here. Its not just bad women being cruel.
Ppl don’t even need to come here if they wanna live in a fantasy lol. This is the channel that gives you a dose of calm reality. That intro prolly made some ppl’s blood pressure panic 😂😂
Stop giving him wifey access with no ring on your finger.live your life.3years woooow stop wasting your time
I appreciate your videos so much!! I’m 20 years old and I’m really greatful for the advice you give out ☺️😊
Well said and explained and I know that because some men and women said that it's not so important to be that. But one thing I was thought and see for myself is if you are in a relationship and show no interest in what you are and what you are doing, not even involved them selves at least in talk or show some time to the person that means not into the formal thing. But don't want commitment to marriage. So don't forget always love you cause there's always looking for a valuable jewel so lovel thy self and move on. Thanks for sharing such powerful video and keep up the good spirit.💞 One Love.👊 Blessings to you and family members.👑
Then you drop him like a hot potato... if someone isn't will to give you the commitment you want, LEAVE.
Take the advice I wish I was given 17 years ago if you have kids with a man before you two are married then don't give them babies his last name until you 2 are married until then you carried and birthed them babies and it's mostly you that's going to be taking care of them babies, then you and your children should share the same last name.
Well said I've seen it in my family talked about it even when I said something about that even an elderly person very close to us said the same both male and female. If the person you are with for a long period and can't give you the respect and your place the way it supposed to be it's a sign to move out. There's no progress and no attention towards what you are expecting so, love thy self and there will always be someone that's willing to be and go the extra mile together with you. Thanks for sharing this awesome video.🙏🏼🙏🏼✊🏾✊🏾💕💕💖💖🔥
Keep your legs closed. Duh.
I'm not doing all of that ! If I have to build the strength to walk away I'm not coming back
"AT THE END OF THE DAY, YOURE NOT GETTING WHAT YOU WANT OUT OF THE RELATIONSHIP..." HEARD THAT.
Preach brother 👏🏾💯
17 years and not being married makes me feel like I'm not good enough so lately I'm not doing what I used to for him there's no point
You’re with him for 17 years?
Do yall have kids together?
The men in my fam always said its only 2 reasons..either their finances are not in where they want it to be or they actually really dont want to marry u.
This is sound advice! Yes, she needs to leave when she can.💯
What if you been in this situation 4-5 times with different ppl now you’re just getting older. It hurts n makes me suicidal sometimes
Sending love your way sis ❤️
1. DUDE: DONT DRIVE while u are filming a video!! your attention is split/diverted away from the road!! TOO dangerous!
2. GALS: DONT chase the guys! u can let them know u r interested but DONT have sx with them, DONT live with them, DONT chase them!! and DONT look for a spouse in a bar or club etc...BAD IDEA. u ASK GOD to BRING you the right one!!
3. My bf was talking marriage within 60 days; now happily married for almost 50 yrs!!
I have been there, I'm glad i left didn't wait more years
I have the ring, I have the kids with him.. been living with him for at least 5 years in the house we got together under HIS NAME. I’m a stay at home mom & common law isn’t in my state! so basically if he decides one day that he wants to kick me out and make me start over, he can. Finally told him marriage or gone. He doesn’t care/ why in the world are men letting go not only good women who take care of them, but their kids too?! Wtf
From his perspective the ability to kick you out is his only mechanism to ensure he isn't trapped in a relationship if you bait and switch, using your newfound security as a platform to treat him like garbage. But of course you are a good person who doesn't plan on doing anything like that, so what's the problem?
I would make sure I had my own money. And, have my name on that deed to the house....
Let's get this plain & simple, really you want him to marry you, really? You gave him everything, what does he have to look forward to ? Dude on to another chapter in a different book my advice to this woman keep it moving
100% agree
He's right
Thank you sir.
Speak truth
I don’t know if I have the wherewithal to take him back… he’s had a long enough time to see my value…
crying...
I'm wondering what happened. All this catering to her man. I thought he is suppose to cater to her, a good thing. Please ladies stop. When a woman give ultimatums We're begging. Cut your loses. And thank the LORD.
I been in a long term relationship for 5 years. I told my boyfriend that's what I eventually want. He wants that also but we are only 22 so I don't really trip about the fact that he hasn't proposed cause we still so young and are still focusing on our careers and saving up.
Yes. You're young. However, if you're "old enough" to be "sexing and shacking" then you're old enough to be married. Nevertheless, since YOU ARE young, I would encourage celibacy. If you're not willing to do that, due to having formed sexual soul-ties, then consider dating other people. Who you are 22 will not remain the same as you continue aging and maturing.
P.S. You don't have to have sex with everyone you happen to date. JMHO.
@@LUX_8 💯 dating isn’t even a thing that works. Should be who God brings you, courting then marriage.
FACTS!
A little too late after we are done .. we are done.
7 years
No kids
Propose but no plan on wedding
I'm dependent on him . It's hard to get out of this situation I don't wanna get old alone
Why is it hard???
FACTS.
My situation as well
My sister was in something like this and after 15 yrs, 1 outside baby scare, him quitting his job twice and pretending to go to work still while tricking of hookers they finally got married 🎉
You’re awesome and a great man
Hem i aint playing house wife for my bf . I will care for him as he does . And i will love him. Once we leave together i will still cater for him. But i ain ironing no clothes . Nah ur no my husband
I’m in a similar situation
So he should sign a piece of paper that says if she leaves for any reason, regardless if she cheated, she gets the house, the kids, and alimony and he can live with his parents or in his car while he continues to bust his ass at work?
Men need to stop marrying until family court becomes fair. 50/50 custody only and the person who put more equity in the house keeps it.
I’ve been with my guy two years. He told me when we met he was against marriage but did mention he might later on down the line. Now he is saying after we bought a house together. I am on the title and a car, both on title that he will never marry me. He said because I’ve been divorced three times and for very good reasons that I don’t hold marriage seriously so it means nothing. Also said his parents were married 40 years and fought all the time. And also said he doesn’t want to have to split everything if it didn’t work out. Tons of excuses. He said he will wear rings and he does right now and even got on his knee and proposed a life long commitment. He just refuses to make it official. I don’t know what to do. I want to be married. But he said no. He said he wants me in his life but doesn’t need me.
I'm in the same boat. I'm about to walk.
divorced three times? He should never marry you lol, good for him
@@michael10613 I agree too. Seems like marriage is too casual for her.
@@michael10613I can understand if you never been married but to be divorced three times!?! What makes you think that there won't be divorce number four!?! Even if you have two divorces, you don't need to be remarried again! Being a divorced woman does not look good at all! 80% of divorces are initiated by women and 90% if she's college-educated!
All y’all worried about is money. I want a commitment before god. You can have your money and all that other shit, it really hurts to see what y’all value. I have my own things
If he is also worthy, he will up His fame first....
I was just talking to this Nigerian chick who was telling me about her having twins and when I asked her if she had a husband if she said “something like that, a fiancé” lol I know exactly what that means😂 he better lock her down before I do. Mmm she got that 🎂
Yepp do not beg if he doesnt feel it he doesnt feel it . Dont force it , then you will get the mariage by default . And that shameful. It okay to want what u want . But it not ok to force it into someone else . She just leave . And if he really wants her … hes gonna come back period. If he doesn’t then perfect . You have the space and time to be with ur man
Just propose to him, and if he runs you saved time. Men may be holding off just out of pure laziness or financial or some other stupid reason. Easy to just propose yourself.
Is there an easy way to bring up a prenup?
Yep,
" so what are your thought on prenuptial/ postnuptual agreements? "
" I think its be great to recieve advice from a divorce attorney, for advice on things they would advise couples going into marriage, are you open to going together?"
" I think it's great if we take marriage counseling " make that requirement, not a demand(Google the def to know the difference)
Ask about advice on prenuptial during sessions