No Woman Should Settle For A 50/50 Relationship
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If single women can raise children alone and pay for everyone in the household needs, than a man should be able to sustain a wife and himself at a minimum. If he can't at least do that, then he shouldn't date, period.
This!!! Like wtf. I’ve done it for 20 years on my own with my son. I don’t understand why this is so hard to understand. Simply live within your means and link up with a woman who aligns with the lifestyle you can provide. It is not that hard!!!!
I’m a Single Lady that’s doing all those things for Year’s plus more!- By the grace of God im able to sustain a calm mentality🥹🙌🏾
Im looking for advice..If a man can’t pay for everything in a relationship,does that mean that he shouldn’t be trying to date?
What I'm confused by is do people even hear themselves when they say 50/50 & 100/100? It's the same ratio, but just a reduced fraction. So still a whole. As long as males cannot get pregnant, I will not be tolerating "50/50" (whatever that means). You can't negotiate with someone who cannot even do the two basic tasks they have: Provide & protect.
If males think we're the problem then they should just go hire a surrogate, nanny, babysitter, cook, caregiver, secretary, etc. They want you to be a million different things, but you also have to pay them to work for them. The audacity. At that point, you're in the negatives. Their position is so limited. They want a limited traditional position with further receding input. I can't. I wish women would stop settling for this nonsense. Y'll need to start realizing males value labor. So he knows he's devaluing you. Their entire value hinges on you devaluing yourself.
I think you should be able to have the ability to pay for everything as the man! However that doesn't mean the woman should be a user! She should be able to hold her own. And at some point on a date could offer to pay the tip or for the meal! And a real man most likely would tell her that's ok! But she will find a way to splurge on him eventually to make him feel appreciated 💯
Women, if your man can not fully support you, he can not support a family. When women have children, the risk of poverty INCREASES. We can love a man for his good heart but he needs to be making money as well.
I agree it should be a choice if she works tbh but I do like the sound of 100/100 if we really love each other we would try everything
Just stop having the children . It sets each person back three years of accomplishing goals . This lack of discipline sexually has really shaken the black families foundation. Everything valued is about sex drugs alcohol and money.
I love Rc Blake and Tony gaskin they remind me of my dad
@@deniseeugene1852My mom always says do what you want now. You have no kids and nothing holding you back. 😮
@@Pinesol605 Exactly ! Date snd travel and secure an education. Marriages change as individuals in the marriage grow. Some grow apart and done don’t.
My grandfather, God rest his soul,has always said if a man is trying to make you go 50-50 something is wrong with him. There’s no such thing.
But yet yall be the same woman who have kids out of wedlock and expect the next man to provide. Make it make sense.
@@user-tq8px3xe8i😂exactly
@user-tq8px3xe8i Well if you marry a single mother then yes you should to provide for her and her child/children as that is your family now. As noble as that is, it is not required to marry single mothers.
@tttai8993 exactly 💯, and I wouldn't dare to whine or complain about it if I chose her. That's the point, I chose her and no one forced me to marry her, so I must take responsibility for my own personal choices, and not blame the single mom. I need to choose better if I'm complaining about her. Accountability is genderless!
@@cedricbetheasuch a strong point.
For as long as a man cannot help me carry, deliver, or feed a baby 50/50 then he will not touch my pockets. A man provides and that’s his 50
Period!
Period!!!! I wish they stop trying to flip and reverse this shit.
💯‼️
Your the helper. A God ordained order
@@dareemajones7423okay!!! 👏🏾
If a man can't pay the bills in his house to survive without the help of a woman he should not be dating.
So many people are dating without the intention of marriage. The dating scene has changed so much. Many people got married in the AOL era. The internet opened up new possibilities-which included online dating. Now the internet shows dating for hookups, finessing and escorting. Some even move in with people from the internet because they need a place to stay("hobosexual").
Beautifully said!
We have COMPLETELY lost the original design for male and female marriage. God's design states that men and women are inherently equal in VALUE, but are wildly different in nature. There is EQUITY in romantic relationships between men and women. If not, the polarity will be off. God made a man physically STRONGER than a woman on the outside. God made a woman emotionally STRONGER than a man on the inside. Women bear children and feed them from our bodies. A man can't go "50-50" on that!! And yet, men want to see their wife working while PREGNANT until delivery. Absolutely ridiculous! And what most families don't understand is the CHILDREN will suffer the most!! Mom is stressed out working and keeping up the home; Dad is stressed out working, and the children are being raised by a Iphone and a Ipad.🙄 We must do better! We must learn to live within our means. And focus on being HAPPY and HEALTHY and FULFILLED in our souls. Stop "chasing stuff" and someone else's Instagram dreams. It CAN be done. You BOTH have to be committed to it and to your family.
Ameen on that, Sis ❤ God's design for marriage is what we need today
"... And yet, men want to see their wives working while pregnant until delivery..."
My wife is fortunate to have found me because I'm a traditional man and I'm lucky to have her because she's a feminine, traditional woman. I financially support her 100% and she doesn't need to work. Even if she did I will under no circumstances have her work anytime during pregnancy. If we needed money that bad I'll pick up a 2nd job so she could stay home and look after the house.
Fortunely, I'm in a position from where we never have to worry about money.
....and in mental position as well because many men are well off when it comes to money, but in their minds ...they feel as if they are super poor and so they suffer after every dollar spent....you can take a man out of poverty, but cannot take the poverty outta man....and some born, raised rich still got stingy character, they were never taught to share and they dont find joy in giving to their loves ones.. it is rly not an issue of money.... either you provide or not...no matter how much you earn@@JWW10666
THIS!!! Thank you!
Amen 🙏
The 50/50 guy isn't even 50/50, and this is why women are opting out. This man said his girl provides, cooks, and cleans. That is more like 25/75. That is not sustainable. She will eventually grow to resent him or lose respect for him. I don't know if they have kids, but I hope they do not as that will be more on her plate. Too many women now are saying when they lose their partner they have LESS work and LESS stress. That should NOT be happening. That doesn't even make sense. An additional adult in the home should ALWAYS be more beneficial. Ridiculous. I would dump this guy so fast. I'm not going to cook, clean, and work if he isn't doing it too.
That’s the part they don’t talk about!
This is the best comment here. Very precise. Men try to act like they doing something with 50/50 and doing little to nothing with children cooking cleaning & home. When women work and do cooking cleaning home kids it's more like 80/20-25/75. That's why women are opting out of marriage and children. IT DOES NOT BENEFIT WOMEN AT ALL, ITS SLAVERY.
@@mrsmoderation7718Most guys would clean after themselves and prepare their own food if it's a 50/50 situation. I wouldn't even feel right putting all that on my woman while she has to work just like I do
Yes, yes, yes! Both people should help each other, the woman cannot do a thousand chores and all the man does sometimes is bring money.
@@LilRocketP13Lies. Most men don't clean up after themselves. If that were the case women wouldn't be complaining and the divorce rate wouldn't be so high. Speak for yourself
The lack of ambition and strategy is the issue. Women do not like lazy minded men who are content with mediocrity. Our eyes are open.
AMEN 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
My father didn’t work. We struggled and even after she passed he still didn’t work. I had to work at 14 the youngest. He put all the responsibility on me. He sat on his butt and collected welfare and section 8 and SSI. If I didn’t work I wouldn’t have had things or ate. I had to take care of the house. He was never a provider. I lived with a guy when I was younger and his salary was less than 50k and I didn’t squander his money. It was enough but I didn’t have a lot and I’m a minimalist. I know how to stretch a dollar.
Bravo young man. You have the values of a healthy masculine man. Our community would be on par with other ethnic groups if the majority of BM shared your values. I wish you and your channel much success.
Please expose yourself to other ethnic groups. Don't depend on what you read.
We need more masculine men! White men know to stay and provide for their children if they have kids out of wedlock but not black men. Men who have kids yet always need a girlfriend should be ashamed. How about get your money up, provide for your kids then worry about getting a girlfriend but BLK men these days have it backwards
Agreed
@@cynthiadickerson5403exactly lol... 😂😂😂
A lot of women in other ethic groups grind in the mud with their men.
Yes exactly. Blacks around the world would have been prospering and thriving much better and at least the same rate as others if
more black men been had been able and willing to build alongside their women, take leadership and be protective providers, instead of riding around on the backs of the black women and abandoning their children.
Many black men want to womanize, have "swag" and be in the entertainment industry for clout.
They seem to lack what it takes to be real men. And don't even seem to have a desire for it because this is often not modeled in black households.
They don't have fathers around or other black men to look up to who were normal, functional protectors and providers.
And many aren't willing to rise above this, break cycles and do better than what they grew up with.
A wife is a helpmate not a roommate. A wife can work if it benefits the family and they agree to that structure. Some see 50/50 literally and if she doesn’t have her half it’s a problem. I know of couples losing themselves in that 50/50 situation where the woman is broke financially, breaking emotionally and physically because she has to have her 50% on the bills, take care if the children, house and man while just work and comes home to relax while building his savings. A man should not gain at the expense of his woman, a husband should further Yah’s purpose for his family with his family.
This was me. Till this day I resent my exhusband and have no respect for him as a man.
A woman should be benefiting from a relationship greatly, if she is not; there is no reason to be in the relationship
@@queenrenagoddessoflovegood7757👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
The assumption that 50/50 only means financial is the problem. If both are working, then both contribute to household tasks and childcare. That set up isn't putting that much stress on the woman.
Thats why I stay childless. I cannot imagine working while pregnant and I work as a Massage Therapist. Im constantly standing and reaching over and lifting limbs and stretching people. I refuse!
SAME
Then don’t!! That’s a good job
Same here!
Same 🎉
When I get pregnant, the only reason I'll work is because I'm a restless creative. However, the important part is that I don't want working to be a necessity. That'd be horrible. Working should be a choice at that point.
The first thing that makes that guy not a man, is his weak attitude. He seems like he’s setting for $14 an hour. What kind of job are you working that is only paying that? How are you taking care of yourself? Don’t you want more for yourself? He’s looking for a woman to carry him.
You are correct. He is settling and is not ambitious at all. He focuses on the man on the right being a rich man, even though that man told him that he was just like the man on the right and he has been exactly where he was until he learned; then, did better. A man who truly wants to get married and have a good future for his family will work towards that. Period.
Exactly. There's only one difference between men who provide and men who cant-mindset. That's it, and that's all.
I'm not disagreeing but we don't know his intelligence level or background status and what state he lives and how the economy has effected our generation. Everyone doesn't have skills trades intelligence education supporting families etc.
not all men have skills and not all woman have skills. it dont matter if youre a man or not, you need to be able to learn how to learn a skill and sometmes ppl cant do it and jobs dont pay well for ppl that dont have skills. if a man can get a skill and hes just lazy etc then thats not right. that also goes for the woman. like my parents my dad is a retired truck driver and my mom is a retired nurse, both of them gain a skill and supported the family. my mom did not sit around at home and said " well since im the wife and have kids i dont have to work" naaaah.. she was grinding helped rasied me and my siblings... my father did as well. and during that time my mom had her tax busniess part time while my father work longer hours, it all paid off of course and now they are both working together in thier tax busniess. - none of them sat around while the other worked. no waaaay no how.
Men like this want to be the woman and live soft and feminine but while they do nothing
I don’t give passes to any man for not providing 100%. I do it as a divorced mom. I have a mortgage, my son just graduated private school where I paid all of his tuition and is now in college, and I have a daughter who has been in cheer and gymnastics since she was 3. I also started a side business and travel frequently.
There is no excuse a man can tell me. I now only date men who have provider mentalities.
Why would a man provide for a single mom that doesn’t make any sense
why would a healthy man look down on a woman, who has to live alone because some man decided to NOT WALK THE TALK and abandon his husbands and fathers oaths?? How is that a woman''s shame or responsibility? @@brahmoney7507 huh??
@@brahmoney7507 smh your mentality is so sad, I feel sorry for you
@@dominiquemckenzie6990 they just want to argue and express their opinions. They don't care to understand anything outside of themselves. I feel sad for people like this person as well
@@dominiquemckenzie6990 how is that your the one looking to free load
How you are raised really determines how independent you’ll be. Most of the black men I was raised around are financially irresponsible. They been coddled there whole life, now as grown men making enough money, paying bills, good credit, managing finances, getting approved for a car loan, house loan, or even for an apartment seems impossible on their own. I don’t even make six figures n I’m secure financially n got my own n live comfortably. A lot of men make excuses n argue about the average man salary statistically isn’t enough because they don’t know how to manage their money. Some one I know into gambling. he work making atleast 30 something hourly n collect a veterans check, he hit big & won 30,000$ one time n that money was gon in a month. How do you have your reg monthly income +an extra veterans check n still blow 30,000$ in a month. W Nothing to show for it. No new investment nothing.
Omg, why is that dollar sign behind the number?
Maybe, perhaps, that is because a lot of Black men are financially off and have multiple criminal convictions under their belts, therefore they cannot find stable employment and eventually be responsible?
Do not blame them, put the blame on their socioeconomic conditions.
Facts! One lady said she got rid of a dusty that couldn't even change a light bulb or tire for her. He was good for nothing! She had to call a handyman to do everything. She told him: "What do I need you for?" Got rid of him quick!
I worked with an older woman who won money multiple times. She blew the money on younger men, drinking and food😑.
I overheard my dad say once in conversation with someone that he would work 3 jobs to take pressure off of his wife. I believe the goal for real husbands is to be the sole provider of his family. However, there are times were he may need his wife (aka helpmate) to assist financially...and there's nothing wrong with that. Its up to the two of them to plan future financial goals together. Lastly, its so important that if a woman does not have to work, per her husband's ability or request, that she is debt-free. The husband should not have to break his back for baggage that he didn't create prior to the marriage.
Work 3 jobs what time would he have to sleep. Hell work those three jobs die early from stress related issues and sickness then your out of a Dad cause he wants to prove he can pay for everything
@@azraelfirstofhisname8695 That's what a good man does if he has a family...he provides for and protects his family. Maybe you missed the memo from God. SMH
@@tstewart8698 If you have to work three jobs to provide for your family the issue isn’t working hard it’s not making enough with the jobs you already have. You ever heard of this thing called work like balance?🤔
the issue is, there are too many people trying to place a “one size fits all “ rule on every relationship, when a marriage is about 2 people making it work by their own standards. 100/100 is fair and doable and u still end up paying less than you did in the single life.
I sacrifice all of my 20s and some of my 30s being single so I focus on building myself up and becoming established enough to be able to take care of a woman and being able to provide a comfortable lifestyle for my family.
Men growing up today aren't taught that it's the man's responsibility to provide the house so a woman can turn it into a home.
@@JWW10666 these are facts. My sons are in their early 20’s. They are saving to purchase a home and a new car for their future bride. Our grand kids will not be born out of wedlock or in poverty. We must train ourselves to live intentionally. Thank you!
@@newaveride3396👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
Finally a comment that makes since
Great video!!! Marriage is and always has been 100/100. Meaning both ppl should be giving it their all. There will be times where the man is down and the woman will be up and vice versa…. With that said…. A baby carrying, child birthing, breast feeding woman should not go 50/50 financially with a man❗️Itll never be equal
Better b breastfeeding me too
You just contradicted yourself
I’d like to point out that Tony Gaskins wife did not work when they were married because her baby was in the ICU and she stayed home with him when he got out. Tony was making peanuts but she kept a smile on her face and spoke life into him and encouraged him to stick to his purpose even when he wasn’t sure if he wanted to keep going with it. He said she hasn’t worked since she was 19.
oh ok. thanks for the correction
Of course. Love your videos btw. Keep representing for the men of God.
@@haleycamille I will. Thank you
Absolutely 100/100 but I'm heartbroken right now. I carried my husband through 3 years of his masters, passed all his classes, never asked for anything except for help around the house, never asked for money or jewelry because i work full time and support myself AND help him pay bills. And he never helped. I cooked, cleaned, did his school work, and he never lifted a finger except to go to work himself. Mistakenly i thought he'd change and now I'm pregnant and it's just as bad. I was not going to keep this baby but i chose to, and i have no support from him. Pray for me please. My heart breaks for my baby, not even for myself.
🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾God got you! Your support and love did not go in vain. God bless you and your children.
Same thing happening to me. He wasn't contributing to the bills and had everything to say about me not being a good enough woman. I was just pregnant and pretty tired. Always nauseous. Working full time. He was so harsh with me and emotionally unstable. I pray for my baby and yours. We chose life and that comes with lots of ups and downs. I've been so low lately but I've been trying to keep my mental health stable and keep some of my sanity by getting as close to God as possible because we all need someone to hold our hand sometimes.
May God give you strength! 😢🙏🏽
You should try asking your relatives for help if they live close by. Make sure that is your last baby by him. Honestly you shouldn't be sleeping with him. Bums don't deserve sex or even a wife. Tell him to straighten up. If he doesn't, then I would advise you to leave.
And this is why we must have providers from the door. I pray that things change for you in such a way that you come out on top of this situation.
Shouldn’t be dating if you making $14.00 hr need to be focusing on creating a better future
Thank you for saying that. Owning a business isn’t for everyone but you can have a good job.
Finally someone mentions the Proverbs 31 woman. She had JOBS!!! This was such a good teaching. You are growing in your ministry. I have followed you from the start. I’m so proud of you brother. All the way from UK 🇬🇧
Entrepreneurship is not a Job. Selling your own product is different than being under an employer 40+ hours
@@Ehlaar right. She is at home first! Then she create products and sells them. Then she buys land and give a lot to charity. An education would fix this comprehension epidemic😂
Proverbs 31 was written by the biggest womanizer in history. I'll ask God directly what he expects of me thank you very much
Shumake came THROUGH with this one‼️
I come from a single father household where he provides and takes care of me so I'm offended if a man ask me for money. I like providers I don't like men who expect me to pay for anything so if he expects me to pay bills or for dates, it's a wrap for me because that's not what I'm used to and I believe it's a man's job to fully provide and be masculine.
You're going to be single a long time or unless you want to end up with a 50 year old man.
Sounds like you are looking for a father and not a husband.
Remember the men could only take you from your parents’ house if he could take care of you well like your father.
of course,, these weak and traumatized men want to opt out of living like a real men, instead - they want to receive princess treatment as if they are women!!! facepalm!!@@krysracquel
Definitely don't add children to a man not providing, it will exasperate the problem times ten
I like how he started this conversation saying that this is for *MARRIED* people. Bc most of the complaints come from people who want to co-habitate. A lot of men (understandably) do not want to be a sole provider for a girlfriend who can leave at any type with no real commitment.
It also makes sense that a man who is making $15/hr shouldn’t even think about marriage until he can provide for his family.
Great, direct points!
He also shouldn’t be in a relationship ! $15 an hour it’s okay to focus on yourself and set goals. Men ITS OKAY TO SIT ON THE SIDELINE FOR A FEW YEARS. Women do it all the time.
@@123gollc9 exactly! Relationships are actually just gateways and temptations to s*x so they shouldn’t even think about that until they are seeking marriage
A woman who's married can also leave at any moment why do ppl think that a marriage can't end? Divorce is a thing
April 25th is my anniversary with my wonderful husband 💞
Honestly there is an entire population of men who want to be the head of a house they don't fund and don't provide for. I don't know why they just don't stay single if they are upset for having to do that protect and provide stuff they keep yelling about. Don't get married but don't discourage the man who actually wants to lead his family and that can only start with character cause you'll lose a home that you resent. You shouldn't expect a woman to pay half the bills but do all the domestic responsibilities and all the raising of the children. That's an unfair and selfish request. If you actually care about the people in your house both of you will do what is necessary to make sure EVERYONE in the house is good. The problem is people unfortunately want to have a spouse and children while only doing what is best for themselves.
You must be talking about these young chicken heads around here.
@@deadcell1😂😂..Wow!!
I’m aged 47. I have run int 25 - 30 year olds (of guys I’m dating ) and their parent have thought them to DRIP the “provide” part. These young dudes run around here saying their job is to “protect” women. I ask them what protection can they provide when women can have camera recording security systems. They can’t even justify the stuff they laying on the table.
This is a good conversation. At $14 an hr you need to be single and not trying to look a woman, build yourself up and let the woman know what you are about. I would love to relax but my nature is not like that so I am always up to working especially just in case. I am glad you spoke on entrepreneurship because we have can't all be business owners, who gonna work for us? What is your business because too many young folks out here competing with there 10 friends in the same market, who will support you?
Even if you don’t start a business, you can go back to school, learn a trade. If you comfortable then you going to be where you are.
Fun Fact: ordered sea moss from the man in the red track suit in 2017….still waiting for my package in 2023😮
😂😂😂 are you serious?
@@sabrinacarr9082 Yes, his name is Yada I believe…he gave me nature boy vibes
LMFAO
He gives scammer vibes
I would not like to add that a man shouldn’t date until he is ready to marry. You don’t date then work to get a better job and have the lady on hold and in fornication..
The man should work and get the good paying job then go find the woman to date. A woman should also be prepared to be a wife before she starts dating
No one is perfect but just pointing out what is correct.
that's right bc if you die while in fornication, you go to hell-- even if you were once saved. Once saved always saved peddled by these lying preachers is just that - a lie.
I 💯% Agree with EVERYTHING You Just Said ❤️ Money is the main reason why a lot of marriages end. I'm so glad you done this video because it is so relevant to the success and tenure of a marriage.
My dad said if a man wants you to pay half of his bills, he does not really like you. 🤷🏾♀️ take that concept and couple it with the fact that we all know how black men feel about black women, dark skin, women, in our natural hair. 👀 most of them don’t like us. It’s not a dig at us because their opinion does not matter, but it’s factual. Ladies stop wasting your time chasing men who tell the world they don’t even like how you look. My father was in my household, my entire life, and he was an excellent provider. He warned me that most black men today were absolutely terrible with money and if they ever got money, they date white girls. Being a financial provider is a requirement, not an option. Nonetheless, black women go out their way to be the provider for these men. The desperation, all over TikTok with black women buying cars and property and homes for men that look like they can’t even stand them. It breaks my heart as a black woman to see so many black white women desperate for these. 😫
Most Black men date inside their race, most racial groups do so actually.
If Black men supposedly were not attracted to Black women, then how come they are mostly in relationships with Black women?
Something tells me you have not really met any Black men in real life.
@2:18 you confirmed that I’m not crazy in staying single until it’s right. There are men out here who will push a woman for a relationship/marriage and know they are not ready emotionally, mentally or financially…but don’t want to “lose” her so they act prematurely and rush into something they’re not ready for. Then once in that strained relationship they end up having those inevitable problems anyway.
Story of my life
The people that want success will proceed accordingly. 😊
Alot of these guys getting upset about splitting responsibilities was moreso raised in a single mother home where their mother did it all and spoiled them because the father was not around. So they grow up keeping that mentality of a woman should be helping them and not it being their sole responsibility to support. America has really done a number on us as black folks.
true words..
Right... and the culture of today poisons these types of ideologies even further.
The guys you describe are trolling in the comments right now. They don't like to see their cover being blown. God forbid they actually have to go work hard for anything.
If you were actually from money you would know most people are going to split responsibilities. People who pay 100% do so for women they met when they were young and have a lot of trust in. Nobody is finding random 30+ debt ridden women and financing their life. In the past, children had to work. They still do in a significant portion of the world.
@@McOofy True, I met my wife in my 20s about 16 years ago and support her 100 percent
I like this guy. Great video full of basic wisdom.
All the women have awoken here and are on that godly tip ! Calling men to greatness, step up and provide !
When you said 86k a year, I was like 👀👀👀 😂 Then you said a truck driver and I'm a truck driver too. I'm a female though. Looking to get out soon so I can have a normal life.
I made a lot more than 86k my first year as a truck driver but I own my truck and I have two other trucks that I have people drive for me.
@hughjanus2781 Kudos to you! It's definitely not a cake walk. Some people act like it; but I know it's not.
Mr Shumake got that “ I don’t want to hear that ish” glare. lol
Much respect to you and your wife. Keep doing the Lords work
Not in the Muslim religion the man is obligated to take care of the family it’s no obligation at all for women to pay any bill that’s is 100% on him
As it should be. Shoot, I'm Muslim and think this should be normal man behavior.
The Muslim economies don't have affirmative action/quotas for women in the workplace. Every 6 figure job a woman was given could have been one a man could have used to support a family. I'm not Muslim, but I have studied/am very knowledgeable about Muslim finance, you can't compare the US economy when you know so much BS allowed in the US is banned in Muslim countries.
@@McOofyactually this is incorrect Muslim women work we just keep our money you need to stop pretending women took opportunities from you 😂
Airhead I never said they didn't work, most women around the world work. I see you don't understand economics. @@idi.h5460
Yet America has a better economy than every Muslim country 😆
It should always be 100/100
Still 50/50.
love this message, great video!! We need to hear this message in today's time.
What is Soooo difficult to UNDERSTAND that mean need to STOP being lazy ... and get their skills, training, and Money up ... if you can't do it with 1 job ... then your @ss needs ANOTHER JOB ... PERIODT
Got it, get another job so I can work 90 hours a week so I can watch my girl sleep around behind my back with the neighbor then blame me for not being home enough.
So you rather work him to death then go get a job and help out smh
@@deadcell1 choose better then. Find one who won't cheat. They exist
You need to go back to school, yah mean.
@@GrowUp-zx3lc lmao most households needs to in certain situations your wife might need to stay home like my wife did but kids are old enough so now she works. Me and my wife both clean and do household chores not all relationships are the same
If both people truly love each other, there will be no lies, it won't be necessary. Because they understand and help each other. Nobody feels exploited, lied to, or hurt. This is why God's way is always the best. And God loves and helps everybody. A relationship should uplift you, not exhaust you!
Appreciate your content, you don't fail!
I love how you support you wife’s vision and dreams! Cause some men these days don’t want to see their woman grow. If a man can’t support my vision or dreams then he is not the one for me! Thank you so much
My mom worked in the beginning as well but was able to retire very early because my Dad was eventually more than able to cover everything. They're my example because I see how fulfilled they are in their roles.
It's like Jesus saying he has gone to "prepare a place" for his bride(the church)❤❤
🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾INDEED
Love the scripture references! 🙌🏽 The Bible is the answer to literally everything! That’s why I will continue to work during my marriage as well whether it be working from home or just part time. I want to save money for the household but I totally believe in the husband providing the overhead expenses so wife can cater to her man in the areas it matters most!
Keep going, Sis ❤ God bless your marriage 🎉🎉
The bible speaks on a woman that has to take care of her husband. It says she's gonna be pissed and annoying.
Sirach 25:22
22 A woman, if she maintain her husband, is full of anger, impudence, and much reproach.
So, even the bible says for males to not be bum broke males screaming for submission while also screaming for his girl to let him "hold something".🙄
Hi. The book of Sirach is *NOT* in the Biblical cannon.
@@Tel934 It is not in the European Protestant cannon. It is part of the Ethiopian Biblical canon, which is much older than the European one we use in the west.
That type of men will act innocent and surprise when a women angry and drop a divorce 😂
This whole comment is from the pit of hell. Ladies listen to the actual Bible. And marry a man of God
Yall love to bring up the Bible but be the same woman who had kids out of wedlock... make it make sense
Glad u said that
Brother, you are preaching. Salute.
A man that bows to and initiates to 50_50 is a killer in disguise.
People needs to start reading Proverbs 31 from verse 1
Why because it convicts most men and makes them uncomfortable 🎉🎉
The woman doesn't sleep.
@@realityobserver7521 yeah and you didn’t read from verse one
The most uncomfortable and unmentioned part of this conversation is “class “within our community. For some reason we don’t want to discuss class differences and in different classes the families function in different ways. Not everyone is meant to be an entrepreneur and not everyone is meant to be a worker bee, so the rules of Providence are a little different for each man and his family and also that word class whether it’s upper middle-class, wealthy class, lower middle-class, poverty line, etc. have a different set of rules
Woot woot for the truck driver! New subbie🎉
Tony Gaskins wife may not work a job but she works. He often speaks on how exhausted she is running her home and resting the children. It’s not all about cushion. Yes they have resources but she works and she’s paid a salary and I believe last year or so he gifted her 60k for her birthday as a gift! I don’t want people thinking just because you don’t clock in means you are not working ALL DAY. make sure in your relationship y’all are are in agreeable that staying home is work or y’all will be battling the invisible man. Make sure y’all are talking about the same thing! RC Blake’s wife prolly is living a bit more leauirley because they are older and prolly have older grown children at this point.
Thank you for this comment. I'm a devoted homemaker, and NOT a lazy one AT ALL. It's frustrating how many people think that means "watching TV all day and doing nothing". If that's what they would do, they need to say that; as if there aren't people in corporate America who aren't lazy! Running a well oiled household is most definitely laborious even if we don't clock in, we are still working women.❤️🙏🏿
@@doll.ov.poetrii4682 yes my generation thinks it’s glam because they speak on what they are doing in home too much out of the home. It’s become if a man can afford to have a sahm then he is “the man” because he can afford it. It’s heavy work they may require you to call in reinforcements. A lot of men my age don’t even view it as work and that’s the number one issue is if your husband doesn’t see it as work you’re going to learn to resent him because all you’re doing all day is working. I don’t view that role as cushiony whatsoever. I see it more as a work horse role which is fine unless your husband doesn’t appreciate you that’s where the problems come in. when my grandma was younger, she had the option to clean home or pick cotton. She chose picking cotton because cleaning the home was an all day nonstop job picking cotton was just until her sack was full.
@@doll.ov.poetrii4682Running a household is difficult? Try running through Afghanistan wearing 60 pounds of gear getting shot at while trying to climb a mountain.
These people don't live in reality. They flap their gums online for likes. This channel (Shumake) actually lives in reality. Most of us live in reality. If someone is planning their lives based off fake UA-camrs and Podcasters - please do not marry them lol..
Thank you
He doesn't understand that nobody is saying he doesn't deserve love, but he is not ready for a serious relationship let alone a marriage.
I appreciate that your perspective seems to come from a very level-headed place rooted in the gospel. You are doing Gods work helping his children navigate relationships in these crazy times. God bless you and your family.
Love listening keep up the good work🙏❤️
Thank you. Just started listening. I was thankful for the wisdom you had to reveal the female atheist calling out the Fresh n Fire men. Thank you.
Virtuous, modesty, humbled ❤❤ 🙌🏾🌺
$14 an hour, he can’t take care of himself. Man or woman, you have to be able to take care of yourself before you even get a dog or cat, let alone a life partner and family.
FYI, I made more than my husband at first. We decided to SAVE 50% so when we were ready to start our family we could have one parent stay home (if that was what we decided) without a change in lifestyle.
I dedicate 160 hours every two weeks to my job, doing my utmost to support my family. My wife contributes significantly too Together, we combine our efforts to tackle life's challenges, giving it our all, 100%. That's our way of living. I don't subscribe to the idea of having multiple spouses; it's not for me and I don't find it supported in the Bible. Everyone has their own beliefs, but this is mine.
I wish you had a podcast that i coudl just listen to whiel reading
Excellent
If you can't give me 100%. I don't need you in my life... It doesn't matter if you are a friend, cousin, husband, children, parents, and so on... I'm giving my all!
When I met my partner he told me he’d only do a 50/50 relationship/marriage because he was the sole provider when he was married and his finances were abused. I’m fine with 50/50 because I like security and my career is fun. We’ve been together officially for 5 months (we met in March this year) and he recently told me he wants to retire me when we marry. I asked why and he said it’s because he studied me and knows that whatever he hands me I’ll return tenfold or better. I want the world for him and he wants to fight the world for me. It’s cute.
Lmao 😅 “it’s cute” tho
okie dokie. tell us how it goes when he starts becoming a liability darling.
This is NOT true love.... It's been only 5 months and he is ALREADY making your entire relationship based on give and take?! He is lying to you about his past, no, his ex made 0 abuse on him, she just left because she saw his selfishness. is that true love? Get out of the fantasy you are in!
He should help you with EVERYTHING. You don't know him at all, why would a person who loves you care about what you give back to them SO EARLY?
My boyfriend has never said that to me for the entire year, we've been together.... Prepare to be exhausted and yelled at daily by that ni77a. He is already a big red flag! 🚩And I guarantee, God knows, he is lying to you, he is! Real men don't bring their past into a new relationship. Get out NOW or one day you'll regret staying there.
You've been warned
He literally told you to your face that your an investment source.
A word to the wise: "Do a FULL BACKGROUND CHECK on this man and see 👀what really happened in his previous marriage. "His finances were abused", "he'd only do a 50/50 relationship/marriage". He's "hiding" something. There is something you have that he wants, that will BENEFIT him. THINK!
Ask yourself: What is your career vs. his? Do you have your own home, car, good credit, etc.? Does he have kids? Owes child support or alimony? You are in for a rude awakening. Hire a private investigator, let him tell you the TRUTH about this man. After you find out, MOVE in "silence", & don't tell him you know his LIES! (Thank me later)
I always thought this exact way. I feel like you both best believe you should bring 💯 on 100 percent. Okay I'm on the right path when it comes down 👇 to this and having the right mentality on this right here and when I get married one day and I hope and believe. Does this counts for relationship(s) to. Building teamwork and building a stronger foundation and building a real true connection. I do not believe in 50/50 and I believe in 100/100 in effort. I love your way of thinking 💭 in this video.
I wasn't sure if Yada had 2 wives or not but I am so glad that I have seen this clip because although he sends out good messages, he is not always on point. But it's a great message. I always believed in my independence but because I know the role of a man and me wanting to have a family, I know the type of man I want to be with for when we start a family I wouldn't have to worry about rushing back to work instead of catering to my baby/s.
I love yuor bluntness about relationships and life of man and women yu are right in the United States high cost of living if someone it’s on a low income Don’t think of getting married or moving in together it will create problems MONEY LACK OF MONEY BRINGS MORE PROBLEMS
My parents own a daycare. I see what they have to go through. It’s not easy.
Excuse me but when did the conversation become about women and not the accountability of men! The proverbs woman are many of us who don’t have a husband! You don’t have to be married to be a proverb woman
Yes we must take scripture with context. This conversation was whether men should be the one to provide financially for the family then the speaker must provide scripture pertaining to men providing for the family.
Amen..my spouse heard this..and truly agreed
I NEVERRRR had a man tell me to help lead, provide and produce results... Can we admit that men have male privilege? I come fom a different era, THE MAN PROVIDES‼️ THE WOMAN takes care of the man and the household that the man provides. These conversations are foreign because granddaddy and the men in my family PROVIDES‼️
One problem is so many men once they make substantial money don’t want to spend it on a family but out at the club chasing very young girls.
Sorry but if you cant fully provide for your household as a man you have no business dating, getting married or trying to be with anyone of the opposite sex. I been married twice and i would be damned if they asked that. We divorced, yes, but finances we're not our issue.
To your point, the proverbs 31 woman is a very productive person in every regard...but it also sounds like she has help at home and isnt doing 100% of it by herself, which a lot of men overlook in that passage.
Exactly. She has maids.
That's it sis. These men know they are broke, have jail/prison records, can't get GAINFUL employment, etc. You cannot trust or believe anything they say. You must run a FULL BACKGROUND CHECK on them. That's why they are looking for women who have their own BAG, etc. and want to live off of and USE them. They don't like women, have NO intention of marrying her, but want to TAKE everything she has to benefit what he can't provide for himself.
I tell women all the time. When you meet a man, if he does not have his own: "Home/apt, good paying job, car, good credit, jail/prison FREE record, drug/alcohol/gambling/anger/mental health FREE issues, etc....DO NOT date or marry him! This is a major RED FLAG that he is NOT responsible, and will be a burden on you to carry the weight of all the finances.
Most men can’t fully provide without sucking on the governments nipple. Full premium medical insurance without the help of Medicare/medicade. Private school tuition that’s about $2k or more a month living in upper middle to upper class neighborhoods. Going on two minor and one major vacation every year. If a man can’t afford all of those things then he isn’t making enough to be working solo and the kids are paying the price for a lazy woman who cares more about her convenience than her children’s future.
Happy to see so many wise women in the comments.
I am a woman who despises anyone who doesn't take in the whole chapter. Please, people understand that is mother talking to her son. A mother teaches who her son should marry. The old teaching is the young. A parent directing her child in the way he should go or even more so turning him into a man GOD wants to represent his image/child. How many parents are teaching their kids who they should be as a child of GOD and an adult in this world. Love your kids. Love is an action word. Show and tell is life as a parent.
Shumake I love that you bring up scripture. I hate when people bring up the prv 31 woman because everyone forgets that the verse starts at 1, not 10. In the verse, Bathsheba is telling him if you not hitting these 9 verses you will not be able to clearly define or differentiate a prv 31 woman. Not to mention, you dont qualify to have her.
Your first opinion about not getting married if you know y’all gone be in survival mode.
That’s a whole sermon. Much respect
A protector and provider ❤❤
@2:00 now you can’t marry a woman if you make 14 dollars hr , I think that’s some bs .
He's right, you can't be broke trying to be with a woman..$14 an hour is low wage for just yourself, one person, and that's proverty for one person.
How will you take care of her and the household?? Be for real!
@@mrsmoderation7718 in this day and age 14 can do nothing.. but IF both work and she makes the same.. yeaaa maybe it can work becuase its split for the time being.. both of them pays for certian bills a month together but thats a biiiig stretch...14 an hour is for like teenagers couples living in a small studio together ( no kids) and they get married ( not a good idea) but they love each other and i assume they are planning for the future on gaining a skill to gain more money/ going school or taking cert courses like a CDL. but to make 14 an hour forever? naaaaaaah noooo way.. impossible.. maybe in 1999 lol
It's 2024, women got their own BAG, degrees, professional careers, etc. They don't "NEED" a man for nothing bruh! It is, what it is. While BM was spending all their money on Becky, Maria, & the strip club; BW went back to school 'cause she knew she couldn't depend on a BM for nothing.
Only thing BM can do now is get their passports and go to DR, CO, & Brazil. $14 an hour?
A man can't even take care of himself, more less a family on that salary. INFLATION is here to stay. Rent is higher than giraffe p***y! Enough with the "choose better", "it's some GOOD BM out here", "stats" & "excuses". It's time to get a plan of ACTION, and a start & finish date. Go back to school, learn a trade or skill & get your bread up. Ain't NO BW with her own BAG is taking care of a "grown boy"!
I'm so glad you put this up that's so so important I was down to help my husband I learned from what I saw my dad do for my mom ....we had no kids and I totally tried to build my ex husband up but he was thinking like this guy. Even when he wanted me to be a house wife I still helped him out because he gave me 70 a week and I made it work when he needed help I always had money to help him. He just started blowing through the money and he became a liability and started not listening to what goals we had set. Marriage alone is a LOT you have to communicate,have a game plan and don't ever marry unless you are financially ready. What some guys don't understand is that us females are not to happy in the work place idk how men handle it. It's a masculine driven type of work world
Thanks Shumake a woman will support a man if need be. Women will do anything for a man. The issue people are having is men wanting to build with women forever who don't aim to fully provide for his woman and family even though they may start out splitting hills at the beginning. A man that don't have that mindset is not worthy of a femini e woman. There a billions of women that will sacrifice her children and wellbeing just to have a man even if it means going 50 50 which realistically is 70 30 with the woman contributing 70.
I think that living together should stop.
That’s the problem of today too many ppl are unrealistic in the way they think.
Everybody shows up 100%. Whatever that means in YOUR marriage.
Exactly 💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯 equally yoked ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Although I'm not religious, I agree with most of the points in this video. Great message. We have far more important issues to be tackling rath5than discussing splitting the bill 50/50. And for the people that think they can live a single and fulfilling life, I sincerely hope they have a strong group of friends and/or family they can call on for help in the event of an emergency etc. I don't think people quite realise how EXTREMELY tasking it can be to do life all by yourself with a network of support. I hope more ppl shift away from toxic social media narratives that encourages them to perpetually isolate from others and where hyper-independence as a badge of honour.
I’d rather die alone than go 50/50 😂 friends no friends family or not. Some people enjoy their alone time. & don’t need companionship.
You have not walked in anyone’s else shoes but your own.
@@learningalot231 then the same would go for you.
@@Aniexo_ yeh it's better to die alone than go 50/50 with a man because 50/50 is actually 80/20 when you add all the other work women do. It's not benefitting the woman at all. It's slavery.
@@Aniexo_ I was responding to the original commenter. I agree with your comment and hit the line button as well.
Women have always worked to support the household. The Proverbs woman generated income for her household. Heck running a household even if it doesn't bring in a paycheck is work and has value b/c it negates the need to pay someone else to fill the void. I think we need to learn our history.
This the men to run from. She working cooking cleaning got 3 jobs he got one. 8 hrs n come home to b a couch potatoe...then wonder y it's always a fight, n y she eventually left...she ain't wanna b ur man she wanted u to be hers.
I can’t take advice from a man who has multiple wives
Right wth that’s not living by the Bible he’s still in lust
@@queenkeesh8660 That’s why the Bible says seek wise counsel.
@@queenkeesh8660y'all gon be single forever. No man that is a provider is going to be with only one woman.
It was 7 of us. He didn’t work at all. We never had. Clothes food nothing. He kept all the money. Squandered it on drugs. Other women. Taking from us. We lived in a one bedroom and it was 7 of us. Just horrible.
I’m so sorry you had to deal with that ❤ I’m praying for mental and emotional healing in Jesus name. That was not your fault.
@@taylorspastpresent1014 Thank you 😊🤗 I’m much better some days… it’s been a journey. I lost two of my siblings too… this guy had no business making a family he couldn’t provide for, just to get free money off us like slaves… but god wanted us here… people look at me and think I had this amazing upbringing but I didn’t… it was God who kept me and trying to do my best like my mother would have wanted… but he took our mother away and it’s been 30 years since she’s been gone. These narcissistic abusive men are something else trying to use women.
Nah...his money is the families money and her money is her money. Men pay the cost to be the boss and if they feel entitled to the throne, then they take on all the financial responsibilities.
I have a cousin who when he was a young man (early 20’s) he would work part of the year and travel and party part of the year. He did this for about 7 years.
Then he met the woman he would marry. Within 6 years after meeting her he was a married man who owned a home and a small apartment building.
What was his occupation?
Cool story but what message are you trying to convey here?
@@alicia_nicole Men who are serious about being in relationship behave differently than men who are not. When he was just playing around he wasn’t serious about building a career. He got a real estate license because he could get work at any time and the commissions could be substantial. When he met his wife, he knew he needed to do better than the short term rental, ready to take off at any time lifestyle he was living. I guess what I’m really saying is when a man is serious about building a relationship with a woman he shows it in tangible ways.
@@LilRocketP13 He was a real estate agent.
@laughingshaman1 thank you for explaining that. I will need to pay better attention of these things. Can easily get up and go and life setup lacks real structure