His Silence Is A DECISION! The Sneaky Way He's Testing You And How To Respond When He's Been Distant

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  • Опубліковано 10 січ 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 3 тис.

  • @HelenaHartCoaching
    @HelenaHartCoaching  3 роки тому +369

    Alex has generously offered to give away his eBook (an Amazon Best-Seller) PLUS his "7 Powerful Messages To Make A Man Change His Behavior" report for FREE to my community! Get them both here: click.frenchrelationshipexpert.com/7-powerful-messages-special-offer?affiliate_id=2242878

    • @arlenejohnson3907
      @arlenejohnson3907 3 роки тому +14

      I'm on that relationship now thank you. But I think im in love him and his son?? How do I get out of it all

    • @dlwsport250
      @dlwsport250 3 роки тому +20

      @@arlenejohnson3907 Move forward with your life slowly by adding a valuable goal to your life. As you add something that takes your energy and time whilst improving your own sense of self you will notice that your strength to set boundaries and keep the boundaries will give you the resolve and knowledge that you DESERVE better.

    • @leyancuisine6426
      @leyancuisine6426 3 роки тому +2

      Thank you 💕

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  3 роки тому +6

      You’re welcome! This video might be helpful for anyone who’s looking to let go and move on from a man like this: ua-cam.com/video/4SBxUGRBFfI/v-deo.html

    • @theprolificnetwork4670
      @theprolificnetwork4670 3 роки тому +3

      Can you do the same discussion About women she's stalking you on Instagram but not talking not replying to anything but just following you. She knows how you feel she knows you love her but she's not coming through the door what is going on in her mind what does she have to fear when we already showed we have a great relationship.

  • @nancyangelastro177
    @nancyangelastro177 Рік тому +2865

    Never be afraid of losing someone that’s not afraid of losing you.

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  Рік тому +40

      Absolutely, thanks for sharing! 💞

    • @katerynapoydyuk3925
      @katerynapoydyuk3925 Рік тому +13

      The best advice!
      Thank you so much !!!
      ❤️

    • @CA-de1kb
      @CA-de1kb Рік тому +69

      Mark Twain said, “Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.” Good advice.

    • @keylimepie8426
      @keylimepie8426 Рік тому +6

      @@Jules-740stop it! Yes you will!! We both will✨ remember, what we think will manifest. 😊

    • @Jules-740
      @Jules-740 Рік тому +4

      @keylimepie8426 You're right! Thank you!💕 and yes we will! Thank you for your message somehow it makes me feel as if we were good friends who've known eachother. You have good vibes! God bless!

  • @peterpatton8736
    @peterpatton8736 2 роки тому +4801

    When a person ignores you, they are teaching you how to live without them.

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  2 роки тому +33

      Thanks for sharing your insights here!

    • @msprettykawaii950
      @msprettykawaii950 2 роки тому +39

      true, it happened to me

    • @julesybethmedlini
      @julesybethmedlini 2 роки тому +49

      Right, especially when you are a malignant narcissist!

    • @jerrodzaneplummer
      @jerrodzaneplummer 2 роки тому +37

      I made a mistake by walking away from someone who was supporting me. When I came back to apologize they hit back.
      It's not the person you need to let go of, its your investment in fixing the mistake which never happened. Love the people on both sides of the mirror. Only then can you let go of the drama.

    • @ericfuller6922
      @ericfuller6922 2 роки тому +8

      @@jerrodzaneplummer tell me more.

  • @krissyfry3333
    @krissyfry3333 2 роки тому +3684

    If a man goes silent, it means he doesn't care about your feelings . Keep it moving.

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  2 роки тому +21

      Thanks for sharing your insights here, Krissy! 💕

    • @dibyatenrilangi8233
      @dibyatenrilangi8233 2 роки тому +8

      true

    • @hellbentholland1008
      @hellbentholland1008 2 роки тому +16

      We are all too old for games if someone says leave me alone I'm going to especially when it was a whole blown out of proportion shi* show mind game anyhow. It ain't that I didn't/dont love her but I'm sick of being under a magnifying glass blamed as trash when I wouldn't be had I not given all I've got with almost nothing to those that I had a different idea about. I get taking time to see but expecting a dude to do what was said not to and then call him weak for caving in or uncaring for not? Impossible to win... so it's Important to not shoulder ALL the blame when others live for nothing but the bad parts of stuff and to keep the pot stirred when it should be poured out.

    • @davidjames8403
      @davidjames8403 2 роки тому +6

      Girls! I tried this. Srarches these video titles, "why she goes silent" as if you were a man.
      They're are all saying the same thing.

    • @SR77736
      @SR77736 2 роки тому +48

      Exactly. It's too much worth doing this. Silent treatment or ghosting is a turn off. I'm out

  • @Taisha12001
    @Taisha12001 Рік тому +1510

    When someone ghost you, respect the dead and leave them alone.

  • @monajora1733
    @monajora1733 Рік тому +610

    The best sign to recognize a player/narc is when he love bombs you and after he knows that you‘re interested he pulls back and goes silent, returns when he sees you‘re healing and happy without him. So predictable. 😂

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  Рік тому +4

      Thanks for sharing your insights here! This video should be helpful for anyone who suspects they might be being love bombed: ua-cam.com/users/livek8VC2kt7pZE?si=Hwc6Qjv34l8mCB4P

    • @RobertSwick-g8d
      @RobertSwick-g8d 8 місяців тому

      How about when a woman do this to you ?

    • @bannyadeka1180
      @bannyadeka1180 4 місяці тому +9

      you just described 100% what an x did few days back to me❤❤... i knew something was wrong with him.. i couldn't find an explanation... now i can be at peace 😅

    • @amandashaner1141
      @amandashaner1141 3 місяці тому +2

      Just remember a person can just have avoidance personality, if they do not have at least 4 or more traits other than bein avoidant. They are not narcissistic, the 4 which is usually a liar,bein controlling, manipulative, emotional, mentally, emotionally, and verbally abusive 1 it don't make them a narc

    • @gertrudelisehahn2996
      @gertrudelisehahn2996 3 місяці тому +4

      He could also be anxious avoidant

  • @niharika-oh8gd
    @niharika-oh8gd Рік тому +602

    Ladies please understand this , that a man's rejection is god's protection and this is for true

  • @Eden-dm3lf
    @Eden-dm3lf 2 роки тому +2407

    You couldn't have said it better. After 6months of no contact, he sent me a "love you always" text on my birthday, my response :" I'm sorry I don't recognize this number". I had moved on totally. Ladies, love yourselves, pamper yourselves, get flowers for yourselves, travel/visit other countries and love God above all. When the time is right God will lead him to find you. Time is too precious to focus on inconsistent men, it's a huge turn-off. No man can be better than the man God has for you.

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  Рік тому +28

      Thanks for sharing your experience and insights here! 💜

    • @saharrihabmayou6820
      @saharrihabmayou6820 Рік тому +36

      INDEED ,so happy to hear that from a lady, that's what I'm up to right now, they make you act bad and then they ask why u're akting like that! SUCH A CONTRADICTORY WORLD!

    • @Xubanqueen
      @Xubanqueen Рік тому +36

      Your so right indeed. GOD IS GOOD ❤ And he will bless us with a good man when we are ready to receive his gift 🙏🙏🙏🙏

    • @Hail2GOD
      @Hail2GOD Рік тому +4

      That's mean you r the one is untrust and unworthy

    • @devinweathersby3668
      @devinweathersby3668 Рік тому +37

      Exactly, no games. Stop the games, pick adults not children

  • @peculiarunicorn
    @peculiarunicorn 3 роки тому +5586

    If a man goes silent...enjoy it. He's showing he's a boy or player. Move on!

  • @tralala827727
    @tralala827727 9 місяців тому +277

    If a guy ignores you, ignore him. Not in order to get him interested in you again, but because he´s not the right one for you. No guy who really loves you will ignore you. You may trigger his hunting instinct by ignoring him, but trust me it still won´t work down the road. Save yourself time and tears and move on. You´re valuable, you matter. Find yourself a guy who will never doubt that.

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  9 місяців тому +1

      Thanks for sharing your insights here - I agree! We talked about that in my latest livestream: ua-cam.com/users/liveD6ewIKTZJ8U?si=HlyJTr3tW665wsTA

    • @lambchop6278
      @lambchop6278 17 днів тому

      Spot on.

  • @simplymarilyn5295
    @simplymarilyn5295 Рік тому +995

    Don't be afraid to lose anyone. Be yourself.... because the right ones won't leave!

  • @psicolinamx
    @psicolinamx 4 місяці тому +156

    Silence is so beautiful. It communicates : “you are free to go, girl”

  • @peterpatton8736
    @peterpatton8736 2 роки тому +2248

    A friend told me if someone ignores you it is God doing you a favor, taking him out of your life.

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  2 роки тому +5

      Thanks for sharing!

    • @itsBenzie
      @itsBenzie 2 роки тому +28

      I closed the UA-cam app after reading this comment. It was all I needed to see. Thanks for this! So simple, so powerful and so FINAL. 💕God

    • @amab1853
      @amab1853 2 роки тому +4

      Absolutely 💯

    • @astoutoure8701
      @astoutoure8701 2 роки тому +4

      It is so true!!!!! Believe me

    • @cassandrafleming7123
      @cassandrafleming7123 2 роки тому +2

      no I don't agree with that because you could be in love and you could be in a committed relationship like engaged and y'all eventually get married at 3 or 4 years later and you're in the same house together you got a four bedroom house three bath do you really really think you're always going to be in the same room up under each other 24/7 no if you have that mindset you are really not you shouldn't be you should never get into a committed relationship that's that's to me that's childish and immature to think that way and our kids you not if you got a fiance a man and y'all spending some time together and you can't never take your butt in another room and read a book the little girl y'all just had sit with her read a book do something on your own you got to always be in the room with that man he's got to always be in your circle for you to feel secure it's something wrong with you it ain't the man

  • @Momof3minions7791
    @Momof3minions7791 2 роки тому +288

    A friend told me, "treat them how they treat you." I'm not in a relationship, but I have a male friend (30years) he does the silent thing on me, I chased just wanting to know what I had done. Didn't answer the phone, didn't respond back to my messages. I stopped wasting my time, and you better believe that now he's doing all the texting, I don't respond until I get ready. I don't ask questions, I don't argue period. I will never waste my time chasing anyone, not even a friend.

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  2 роки тому +2

      Thanks for sharing your experience here! 💞

    • @karlar8648
      @karlar8648 2 місяці тому +1

      I chased my friend out of my life twice. I don't play that game. Be WORTH the chase.

  • @Gettingitreal
    @Gettingitreal 4 місяці тому +87

    The most seemingly warm and empathetic men who move emotionally fast with you are the ones that leave fastest and go silent in my experience.

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  4 місяці тому +3

      Thanks for sharing your experience here! This video might be helpful for telling the difference between love bombing and a man who’s truly falling for you: ua-cam.com/users/livek8VC2kt7pZE?si=pcxEFzwtsZXYer57

    • @elizareyes4797
      @elizareyes4797 10 днів тому

      @@HelenaHartCoachingthank you I will watch this one, as guy seemed to be very interested & emotional but slowly stopped being interested

  • @KG-ri9xh
    @KG-ri9xh 2 роки тому +205

    The silent treatment is a sign of weakness. Rejection is my protection from a future that wasn’t the best for me

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  2 роки тому +1

      Thanks for sharing your insights here! 💞 I talked more about that in this video: ua-cam.com/video/sHR3dJ8QiLA/v-deo.html

    • @johnbockmann5739
      @johnbockmann5739 5 місяців тому

      Or disinterest.

    • @KG-ri9xh
      @KG-ri9xh 4 місяці тому

      @@johnbockmann5739 than there should be a conversation

    • @bannyadeka1180
      @bannyadeka1180 4 місяці тому +3

      ​@@johnbockmann5739😅then speak it up.. just like you(the pertner) did while approaching. Giving a person hope then keep them guessing 😅.. nope!! not a responsible/matured one.

  • @robynpeace9850
    @robynpeace9850 3 роки тому +1282

    Yes after many times, silent treatment is emotional abuse. Run away from that

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  3 роки тому +30

      Absolutely, if this is a consistent pattern I would definitely move on. This video should be helpful for anyone who’s questioning whether or not it’s time to walk away: ua-cam.com/video/VcjFqtaGj3Y/v-deo.html

    • @janine1111
      @janine1111 3 роки тому +10

      Yes totally agree

    • @tanjaj-richter3307
      @tanjaj-richter3307 2 роки тому +60

      Silent treatment = narcissism

    • @robynpeace9850
      @robynpeace9850 2 роки тому +14

      @@tanjaj-richter3307 my dad my mom my ex husband and my ex boyfriend and then I finally learned that this was abusive emotionally

    • @lynolee6116
      @lynolee6116 2 роки тому +5

      @@tanjaj-richter3307 So true

  • @jill5188
    @jill5188 3 роки тому +2925

    If I was dating a guy in the early stages and he pulls away, I am out. That is a hell no for me. If we are in a committed relationship and he pulls away, I would have a conversation and depending on the situation, I would start losing interest and eventually move on. This type of energy is such a turn off now. The man I am with invests in me and I invest in him. We are partners, period. Relationships take effort, consistency, and trust on both sides because triggers and past wounds will come up.

    • @user-ee2qq4hp3z
      @user-ee2qq4hp3z 3 роки тому +81

      My sentiments exactly. Took the words right out of my mouth.

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  3 роки тому +70

      I love what you said here and I completely agree - thanks for sharing! 💞

    • @missfefeloves
      @missfefeloves 3 роки тому +14

      🎯🎯🎯✅✅✅💯👏🏼

    • @missfefeloves
      @missfefeloves 3 роки тому +75

      Me too it's a huge turn off these men should get their attitude straight.

    • @cristalebellab444
      @cristalebellab444 3 роки тому +77

      I wish men could find relationship clarity as quick as we do. I hate to say it , but you are right. We all have past wounds & triggers and if they are emotionally avoidant then it’s sooo much work and pain. 😩

  • @michelledambra
    @michelledambra 3 роки тому +2465

    I mirror others' behavior and the funny thing is they don't like how I'm treating them when I do. My husband ignored me for the last time because I responded by ignoring him and planning my departure that week. Ladies, all these red flags become worse the longer you stay. I would rather be alone with my fur babies than deal with a man-boy.

    • @hsjsnsnsnsna9133
      @hsjsnsnsnsna9133 3 роки тому +78

      My situation exactly right now. Got my cats, I'm goooood 😅

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  3 роки тому +101

      Thanks for sharing your experience and insights here. I agree that red flags tend to get worse over time, so it’s important to recognize them as soon as possible. 💜

    • @kylieprice9268
      @kylieprice9268 3 роки тому +59

      🎯 life is sweet with my 4 fur babies. I dont need to prove myself to anyone! This all sounds exhausting😩

    • @lm5608
      @lm5608 3 роки тому +33

      Very valuable comment. That the red flags become worser over time :-(

    • @xoxobutterfly
      @xoxobutterfly 3 роки тому +56

      Same I was happier when I was single honestly and I didn't feel so insecure

  • @lemonspica
    @lemonspica 3 роки тому +237

    Listen, if he was involved at first, then disappears when he knows you fell in love with him, turn that love back around to yourself and let him go to hell. No man like that is worth the time of a great woman.

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  3 роки тому +9

      Yes, if he knows you’re in love with him and this is a consistent pattern I would definitely move on. These videos should be helpful for anyone who’s questioning whether or not it’s time to walk away: ua-cam.com/video/VcjFqtaGj3Y/v-deo.html and ua-cam.com/video/aHDHiOJALjc/v-deo.html.

    • @tawanalefeged8916
      @tawanalefeged8916 2 роки тому +4

      BEST COMMENT EVER!!! Unfortunately going thru this currently. Your comment struck me different, thanks! Today forward, he can go to HELL!

    • @jerusalem7050
      @jerusalem7050 6 місяців тому +2

      This is so true the minute they know you are interested the pull back. So weird 😂

  • @dlm2133
    @dlm2133 3 роки тому +526

    Pulling away...I end up losing interest. Once I lose it, I can't get it back. Never is the same.

  • @kelstar994
    @kelstar994 Рік тому +93

    If he becomes " distant " , then he'll for sure get his wish! Not staying around where I'm not wanted!

  • @danirob6920
    @danirob6920 2 роки тому +379

    I follow the three day rule. If i haven’t heard from him then i am single. Men use the silent treatment as a way to control you, and i am NOT the one smh

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  2 роки тому +8

      Thanks for sharing, Dani! 💜

    • @latashalewis873
      @latashalewis873 5 місяців тому +1

      ❤❤❤❤🎉🎉🎉

    • @bntn2238
      @bntn2238 3 місяці тому

      Lol. Watch mens videos. Both are saying the same thing.

    • @aaronspinelli1301
      @aaronspinelli1301 3 місяці тому

      @@bntn2238exactly!!! It’s almost as if these videos are intentionally causing “Everyone” to follow the same advice instead of being natural.

  • @angeliqueesprit8674
    @angeliqueesprit8674 3 роки тому +1053

    He go silent I go silent… good written I have no time for immature males who fails to communicate. He’s emotionally unavailable.

  • @Relaxinwealth
    @Relaxinwealth 7 місяців тому +201

    I close the gap in communication by closing the door … I’m not waiting 15 days, especially because he is aware of what he is doing . I don’t like to keep unnecessary people on my energy… anyone who is ok with purposely neglecting me does not deserve my presence

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  7 місяців тому +9

      Thanks for sharing! Yes, if someone is purposely neglecting you I would move on. 💜

    • @nascentnaomie
      @nascentnaomie 5 місяців тому +2

      🎯

    • @M.M-t6u
      @M.M-t6u 3 місяці тому

      So beautifully said ❤

  • @tappingintuit5977
    @tappingintuit5977 2 роки тому +858

    Thank you for your sincere simplicity! This is helpful
    1. Mirror his behavior
    2. Invest in yourself
    3. Show that you have a great life, professionally& personally .
    Express it!
    3. Be flirtatious..it's a game-- do it just for your personal development

  • @justaconversation3729
    @justaconversation3729 3 роки тому +1955

    If he is above chasing you... he's actually beneath you and beneath your time or interest or notice. End of story.

  • @rotsteineva
    @rotsteineva 2 роки тому +120

    Those kind of men, don't deserve the effort! Just look for someone better, more authentic and more loving. 🤗❤

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  2 роки тому +1

      Thanks for sharing, Eva - I agree! I talked more about that in this video: ua-cam.com/video/7FBAsHoLSOA/v-deo.html

  • @soleil777soleil
    @soleil777soleil 2 роки тому +652

    Silence is an answer! You have 24 hours in a day. Anything can happen to you. If he's ignoring you, like a piece a paper on the street. Put on your skates ⛸️ and skate away. 🤗

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  2 роки тому +4

      Thanks for sharing your insights here! I talk more about that in this video: ua-cam.com/video/7FBAsHoLSOA/v-deo.html

    • @nadulamb4141
      @nadulamb4141 9 місяців тому

      😂

    • @soleil777soleil
      @soleil777soleil 9 місяців тому +1

      @HelenaHartCoaching I've been there, with a husband who ignored me. I made a choice not to give a damn and live my life. Yippee for me. My love life is me loving me. If you don't love yourself. You end up with a fool. So choose! Self-love first and foremost. 💯

    • @MsPerfume25
      @MsPerfume25 7 місяців тому

      😢😢😢😢😢😢its terribly hard but a reality this hardto digest

    • @soleil777soleil
      @soleil777soleil 7 місяців тому +2

      @MsPerfume25 It is hard when you love someone. Sometimes we are conditioned mentally to accept bad behavior. We get stuck and used to the foolishness. It's not easy to break away. But baby steps are the key. Step by 🚶‍♀️by step 🚶‍♀️ and you'll get stronger, wiser and free yourself. You must surround yourself with women who are strong and find your voice. Join a church group or a women's support group. You can choose to stay or slowly gain your mental strength back and move on with your life. 🥰
      God did not put you on this earth to be mistreated or abused. Fight the good fight, for you. 💯⚘️

  • @kelkabot
    @kelkabot Рік тому +267

    Right now I'm crazy about this guy who just makes me weak in the knees, and he seems so special that I'll never find another like him. But! He runs hot and cold and I have finally got it through my head that there's going to be someone else out there who will be even more special. Getting hooked on the idea that there's only one soulmate, twin flame, whatever...that is a poisonous lie that will keep you stuck.

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  Рік тому +5

      Thanks for sharing your experience here! Yes, I talk more about that in these videos: ua-cam.com/users/live7FBAsHoLSOA?feature=share, ua-cam.com/users/livezKEos5BY2nA?feature=share and ua-cam.com/video/1obo_qVEIHs/v-deo.html.

    • @tammyfitzgerald5336
      @tammyfitzgerald5336 Рік тому

      🙏🏽💯🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

    • @traumamom4338
      @traumamom4338 Рік тому +2

      Wow I'm in the middle of it now ugh

    • @Irispia97
      @Irispia97 Рік тому +3

      💯 single until marriage

    • @netanyarut
      @netanyarut Рік тому

      Just happened to me today :’)

  • @DJSC5618
    @DJSC5618 Місяць тому +8

    Silence teaches you to grow your own self ❤ become a better version of yourself in silent season.

  • @kelkabot
    @kelkabot Рік тому +230

    Ah, wish I'd known all this when I was younger! Some of the best advice I ever got: don't make excuses for him. It's easy, for example, to make excuses for his distance because he's getting over a divorce, a job loss, death of a parent, an addiction or illness, whatever. Don't. Do. It. A man who wants to be with you and is ready for that is going to give you so little doubt of his feelings that you never get on the crazy train endlessly checking your phone, etc. He'll BE THERE.

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  Рік тому +3

      Absolutely, thanks for sharing! My husband and I actually talked about that in these videos: ua-cam.com/video/_D37APGOy8Y/v-deo.html and ua-cam.com/video/_fiTUm_DCAw/v-deo.html.

    • @MEAMELT
      @MEAMELT Рік тому +2

      Saving this for a future reminder! Thanks ❤️

  • @sureyabell2082
    @sureyabell2082 3 роки тому +1190

    THIS IS IT LADIES! LISTEN TO HIM! This is why they say work on yourself! GO out there and find things you like and are passionate about. Get out there and be engaged with the world. Find something that makes you more happy then seeing him! By the time he will come back around you will feel you are not even the same person talking to him.
    I wanted this guy so bad and i did just that! By the time he came back i responded like he was just an old friend. They totally feel your change because they know what they did and they will hold back knowing you wanted them and they left you they are afraid you will be cold. (if you are cold 1* it shows them you are still mad and hold emotions for him, 2* he still matters 3* he will leave you alone since you are cold and he is not man enough, doesn't value you enough to take things in his hand since you are the same person he left)
    If you respond with the the happy friendly energy of an old acquaintance it will show them that you moved on and have other things to be happy about. Remember, a happy person is self absorbed, they don't care. They are happy and content with their life! They want to spread the happiness!
    Btw i did not want him back and ended the conversation in a friendly manner, i did get some missed calls few days later for consecutive days. SO Yes ladies success is the best revenge!!

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  3 роки тому +18

      Thanks so much for sharing your experience and insights here, Sureya! 💖

    • @sureyabell2082
      @sureyabell2082 3 роки тому +11

      @@HelenaHartCoaching Thank you for helping us, you have been helping woman since years! Thanks for replying! :)

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  3 роки тому +6

      You’re welcome! ❤️

    • @chinancyk7780
      @chinancyk7780 3 роки тому +4

      Ezi-Okwu ka I na Ekwu.

    • @nikkinorman4254
      @nikkinorman4254 3 роки тому +10

      Facts on top of facts sista 🍒

  • @KleeKaiBreeders
    @KleeKaiBreeders 2 роки тому +174

    I wouldn’t put any effort into anyone who treats me like that. Huge red flag. Take good care of yourself and be safe out there. Emotional abuse is real and it’s painful.

  • @bluebirdie7241
    @bluebirdie7241 2 роки тому +121

    GET RID OF HIM!!! ASAP!!! NO MAN WHO TRULY LOVES A WOMAN WILL PLAY GAMES WITH HER, BECAUSE HE RISKS LOSING HER!!! IF HE DOESN'T MIND LOSING YOU, HE IS WORTH LOSING!

  • @noroxxx2349
    @noroxxx2349 3 роки тому +494

    His silence has given me peace, no more walking on eggshells or having an additional baby. So i have been mirroring him for sure🤷🏾‍♀️

    • @ssoeeunsbeau5084
      @ssoeeunsbeau5084 3 роки тому +8

      True mirroring what hes doin …..

    • @noroxxx2349
      @noroxxx2349 3 роки тому +19

      @@ssoeeunsbeau5084 he actually called me today, we spoke for two hours, he has been hurting asking why ive been ignoring him🤣🤣

    • @nsomething3615
      @nsomething3615 3 роки тому +19

      That's good babe. I'm also doing the same. Before he was making me anxious but I'm over it

    • @noroxxx2349
      @noroxxx2349 3 роки тому +14

      @@nsomething3615 his back now, wants me more as I starve him of my energy x

    • @nsomething3615
      @nsomething3615 3 роки тому +4

      @@noroxxx2349 I'm happy for you. I don't think I'll have the same energy as before if he comes back. It's the 2nd time he's doing this

  • @AudioRevelation144Hz
    @AudioRevelation144Hz 3 роки тому +957

    Slam the door, bolt it and vacate the building Queens 👑🚪💯

    • @angeliqueesprit8674
      @angeliqueesprit8674 3 роки тому +20

      Periodt.🤣🙌🏽

    • @joycereed6297
      @joycereed6297 3 роки тому +7

      Lol !!!

    • @goodvibes7424
      @goodvibes7424 3 роки тому +8

      🤣😆😂🙈😝

    • @prittyugly86
      @prittyugly86 3 роки тому +10

      What if your married tho? And doing individual and solo therapy 🤣🤣🤣

    • @AuxarionClare
      @AuxarionClare 3 роки тому +16

      😂🤣😂🤣😂😂 It works like a charm, they always want what they can no longer have.

  • @jokergirl4351
    @jokergirl4351 3 роки тому +248

    I love men that gives advice to women about men 😁🧡

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  3 роки тому +8

      Here are a few more videos I’ve recorded with Alex if anyone would like to check them out: ua-cam.com/video/zzUgvsLAvMM/v-deo.html, ua-cam.com/video/JFn2iiTjEx0/v-deo.html and ua-cam.com/video/DvjgwlcjO3E/v-deo.html.

  • @Spacecow17
    @Spacecow17 3 роки тому +164

    Wish I watched this in my 20's would have saved me time and heartbreak

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  3 роки тому +4

      Yes, I hear that ALL the time and can definitely relate! These videos should also be helpful for future reference: ua-cam.com/video/fzyjMlOD3oc/v-deo.html and ua-cam.com/video/VcjFqtaGj3Y/v-deo.html.

    • @Spacecow17
      @Spacecow17 3 роки тому

      @@HelenaHartCoaching thank you

    • @Queenme1-t3q
      @Queenme1-t3q 11 місяців тому

      Same same same

  • @jlh82
    @jlh82 Рік тому +103

    We accept the love we think we deserve.

  • @amy44499
    @amy44499 3 роки тому +408

    It reminds me of a child putting a toy down and coming back later expecting it to be there. Smh. Another will pick it up. Especially if it's a good one!

    • @yass1245
      @yass1245 3 роки тому +12

      absolutely 🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  3 роки тому +1

      Thanks for sharing your insights here, Amy! 💕

    • @mtngrl5859
      @mtngrl5859 3 роки тому +7

      For a Narcissist this is called putting you on the shelf. These are habits of a narcissist. Then why they come around again, it is called Hoovering. The best thing is NO CONTACT AT ALL EVER AGAIN

    • @mmommo10
      @mmommo10 2 роки тому

      EXACTLY...its a no brainer.

    • @psycherevivedby
      @psycherevivedby 2 роки тому

      oooo i like this

  • @AudioRevelation144Hz
    @AudioRevelation144Hz 3 роки тому +198

    I expect authenticy, emotion and daily devotion or get gone. I don't play that way.

  • @gemigem2411
    @gemigem2411 3 роки тому +1107

    Women need to have self love and respect for themselves. No woman should be putting up with this kind of BS. LOVE yourselves women, you can do this!!

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  3 роки тому +6

      Thanks for sharing your insights here!

    • @sweetluvgurl
      @sweetluvgurl 2 роки тому +19

      @Gemi Gem Yeah, I feel like more women need to be building each other up instead of tearing each other down.

    • @Auburnred67
      @Auburnred67 2 роки тому +8

      Self- love and respect is a MUST for both men and women

  • @AbrahamsWisdom
    @AbrahamsWisdom 5 місяців тому +26

    I once heard somewhere that men love women who they feel are slightly better than them. Basically know your worth and realize that he is the lucky one to be in your presence.

  • @rubyshoes1032
    @rubyshoes1032 3 роки тому +431

    Ladies, don't settle for any thing less than what your worth, use no contact to work on yourself ignore them, and please realise. You don't want someone who comes and goes, you deserve someone who never leaves your side. (30 days min no contract ladies. Be strong, and if you have issues with doing this, ask yourself do you have a co-dependacy issue, maybe low self esteem, toxic past relationships so you have an attachment issue, everyone is different.)
    please make yourself the star of your movie, not them. Be kind and compassionate to yourself, I love you and I know you've got this ❤️🙏🏻

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  3 роки тому +4

      Thanks for sharing your insights here! 💜 This video should be helpful for anyone who’s in “no contact” right now: ua-cam.com/video/EFjOGdW_c60/v-deo.html

    • @patriciamartin6756
      @patriciamartin6756 2 роки тому

      Ruby. Don't you get it? Men, by nature are programmed to have sex with as many women as possible. About 10% are good men. The rest of them aren't even bad , that' just how they are. My LTR is as nice as can be I couldn't ask for a better person but from the first, he told me he was a swinger; we live together and for 17 months,he has not cheated but he reminds me that he was a swinger and asked if I would have sex with another woman (no way!) or a man (No way) I told him to go do what he wanted but to leave me out of it and made him promise to get a test for STD if he had sex with another person. He honestly is genuinely surprised that I don't want to have sex with a stranger. The thought of it makes me want to throw up. Woman are looking for a guy that on ly wants one woman. It ain't happening

    • @ronip21
      @ronip21 2 роки тому +6

      30 days?
      I can't.

    • @prairie_dog_5443
      @prairie_dog_5443 2 роки тому +22

      If somebody ignores me or ghosts me, I don’t have 30 day rule. I have 1-2 days rule and then his contact is blocked and deleted. Life is too short to give the ignorant people second chances. If they don’t appreciate you from the beginning, it’s only gonna get worse.

    • @TheKaarnageShow
      @TheKaarnageShow 2 роки тому

      made man worth anything can be by your side all the time. this makes no sence

  • @cindi947
    @cindi947 3 роки тому +505

    People who turn distant and ghost after sex is especially the worst. If it was clearly communicated and obvious that it was just a casual hookup from the start, that’s fine to be honest. But if you had good connection, chemistry, genuine laughs and spending the night etc, and then you pull the slow fade and disappear like you just died or something, the line gets blurred and feelings will get hurt. I can definitely mirror that behavior and play it cool, but of course it hurts.

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  3 роки тому +18

      Absolutely, I would definitely drop any man who does that and move on. These videos might be helpful: ua-cam.com/video/VcjFqtaGj3Y/v-deo.html, ua-cam.com/video/fzyjMlOD3oc/v-deo.html and ua-cam.com/video/Sx4ttEKULOI/v-deo.html.

    • @msalexxa2012
      @msalexxa2012 3 роки тому +34

      There’s an easy way to protect yourself from that though. We are partly at fault in what happens to us.

    • @zee_lolaj7382
      @zee_lolaj7382 3 роки тому +44

      @@msalexxa2012 Not in All cases. There are those left at the altar on their wedding day. There are people out here that make you feel that you are the Only one in the World for them. There is No way to avoid certain things in life. It's how you Handle things when they are thrown at you....

    • @beautifulsoul8365
      @beautifulsoul8365 2 роки тому +47

      True. Some people are just con artists and manipulators. Say and do anything to get what they want. It's pretty sad, but it is the truth. Hurt people hurt people. Not everyone has good intentions for you.

    • @MsSmashone
      @MsSmashone 2 роки тому +20

      @@msalexxa2012 no it’s just that they are liars and snakes.

  • @Revolution-tl5wo
    @Revolution-tl5wo 3 роки тому +263

    I don't wait around when men go out of communication with me. I don't have time for games, I know my value, I'm not interested in someone that doesn't put in the work for me, and if you're indecisive, I'll be gone by the time you come back around. I can find a man that knows what he wants and shows it. I have no time to teach grown men how to behave properly.

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  3 роки тому +2

      I’m happy to hear that, thanks for sharing! 💙

    • @heatherjertram5641
      @heatherjertram5641 3 роки тому +2

      Exactly

    • @Revolution-tl5wo
      @Revolution-tl5wo 3 роки тому +8

      @@HelenaHartCoaching What would be really interesting is to see on your channel an exploration into attachment theory and how it intersects with a lot of these topics. Mainly these types of behaviors are frequently found in insecure attachment, especially Dismissive or Fearful Avoidant types. Going silent is generally a red flag unless you want to put in a LOT of work and do a LOT of self-abandonment and repressing your own emotional needs just to have this guy in your life.

    • @carrie5471
      @carrie5471 2 роки тому

      Amen to that…

    • @jeshmagujar1674
      @jeshmagujar1674 Рік тому

      True

  • @belle8i
    @belle8i 3 роки тому +582

    Simple answer: Do you. Quit making a man your whole world. Find your passion or do things that make you happy that don't require your love interest to be with you. Be the star in your own life. Would you want your tombstone to read “here lies Joe’s girlfriend,” no, you wouldn't, so quit being a needy loser that doesn't have dreams and goals of her own? Stop waiting for someone to make you happy and make yourself happy.

  • @BeatriceARiera
    @BeatriceARiera 3 роки тому +379

    When the bond is broken 💔 you actually feel it! No one is entitled to make you wait, or simply kidnap your time that's selfish and it shows lack of sympathy and respect! Life is too short, move on!

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  3 роки тому +3

      Thanks for sharing your insights here. These videos should be helpful for anyone who’s questioning whether or not it’s time to move on: ua-cam.com/video/VcjFqtaGj3Y/v-deo.html, ua-cam.com/video/aHDHiOJALjc/v-deo.html and ua-cam.com/video/fzyjMlOD3oc/v-deo.html.

    • @Mary-AshleighWilliams
      @Mary-AshleighWilliams Рік тому +4

      exactly life is to precious, if he can't respect you with consistency communication then he is wasting your time. when he wastes your time he never respected you in the first place

  • @carolinemurray7648
    @carolinemurray7648 3 роки тому +296

    A guy unable to communicate properly ain’t worth my time!

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  3 роки тому +4

      I agree - thanks for sharing, Caroline! 💛

    • @brendyshay
      @brendyshay 11 місяців тому +4

      Me too... communication is key to me.

  • @vhayashi7369
    @vhayashi7369 3 роки тому +503

    It's funny because I already figured all this out and have been doing this and I stay in control of my emotions and he can't jerk me around by being silent. I didn't get mad and just sent him funny stuff and treat him like a best friend. And I stay detached. I only invest in those who invest in me. This way your heart stays protected! Act Unbothered no matter how long he stays quiet. Set a timeline then move on.

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  3 роки тому +8

      Thanks for sharing your experience and insights here! 💜

    • @mymysticalwisdom3309
      @mymysticalwisdom3309 3 роки тому +12

      How do you avoid them thinking they are explicitly in the friend-zone? Too many games = confusing and exhausting

    • @Melisit83
      @Melisit83 3 роки тому +10

      #unbothered 😆

    • @lynolee6116
      @lynolee6116 2 роки тому +4

      Spot on.

    • @chatwat7832
      @chatwat7832 2 роки тому +3

      👏🏽👍🏽

  • @averagejane09
    @averagejane09 2 роки тому +243

    The worst is when a guy works to get you to like him and when you finally do, THEN he pulls away. Ugh. I hate that. Makes me feel played and I probably was. This advice is solid though. If he pulls away after all of that, it isn't a good sign. There are better options out there.

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  2 роки тому +7

      Yes, there definitely are better options out there! 💜

    • @businesssueanne
      @businesssueanne 2 роки тому +14

      Why do they make you like them then pull away? Is that a big wast of their time as well? I don't get this....

    • @laylaalkhouri4955
      @laylaalkhouri4955 2 роки тому +43

      @@businesssueanne this is usually the behavior of narcissists.. while they may come across confident they actually have extremely low self esteem. So they use people to fuel their ego and once they feel fueled up they toss you out like trash. Narcissists unfortunately lack empathy and many women fall victim to men like this. If a man puts you on a pedestal without really knowing you? There’s your first huge red flag.

    • @nenar.902
      @nenar.902 Рік тому +8

      @Layla, exactly, this is a red flag that you are dealing with a narcissist. They need constant supply (and gratification) so and given that the best supply is from strangers/new people they are also (serial) cheaters. My advice: don‘t fall for their words and how they present themselves. Focus rather on their actions, behaviour and the red flags. Good luck to us all! 💚

    • @dharashah4746
      @dharashah4746 Рік тому +2

      Yes I am recently experiencing something like that it's really destructive

  • @eshjane
    @eshjane 3 роки тому +138

    When he calls let the phone ring, smile, and let it go to voicemail. Don’t answer his texts messages and then BLOCK that loser!!!!

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  3 роки тому +1

      Thanks for sharing, Jane! 💜

    • @inushka3529
      @inushka3529 2 роки тому +3

      Bravo

    • @aaliyah6402
      @aaliyah6402 7 місяців тому

      Bingo!. I’m trying so hard to get rid of him but he still has some of my stuff otherwise he’d be gone

    • @OparahBenedict
      @OparahBenedict 5 місяців тому

      Lol

  • @FrenchRelationshipExpert
    @FrenchRelationshipExpert 3 роки тому +617

    THANK YOU for having me! It was so much fun to help your community :-)

    • @stuartsturgess2199
      @stuartsturgess2199 3 роки тому +6

      I have a friend that has a connection with her boss however he's never aked her for a drink or meal but just to clarify this video is about people that are dating or have been at very least flirting in such a way as to be understood clearly a relationship is possible

    • @artandscience1
      @artandscience1 3 роки тому +19

      Bonjour Alex, i'm enjoying your videos. But i see that one important fact is never being mentioned: a man's silence is *triggering our fear of abandonment*! We don't just text him to not loose the connection with HIM... There's a much greater fear subconsciously, that leads us to being irrational, to freeze, to feel and act desperate, etc. It's a very primal fear. Plus, it triggers our need for safety, which is a primal need too but a womens #1 instinct. Merci!

    • @linda__4587
      @linda__4587 3 роки тому +1

      @@stuartsturgess2199 We have been out for 6 dates. His daughter came out for his birthday from Canada and he asked me to meet her. I thought it a good idea to do that now because she would not be coming out again for a while.

    • @stuartsturgess2199
      @stuartsturgess2199 3 роки тому +2

      @@linda__4587 I don't know much but I see no reason not to go with it and see what happen's I think as long as you are being genuine with them it has a good chance of working out

    • @missfefeloves
      @missfefeloves 3 роки тому +7

      Mr Alex I would like to ask what inspires men to act hot and cold? Why exactly do they do these things?

  • @orth82
    @orth82 Рік тому +43

    Very good tips. The shift happens when you stop trying to make others like you and begin to focus on whether or not you like them.

  • @sharilyon5983
    @sharilyon5983 3 роки тому +89

    This very same type of man who loves to play hot and cold told me he wants women to chase him. I told him I never chase men and to quit bothering me.

  • @shuzennn
    @shuzennn 2 роки тому +158

    Helena, you are actually right. Dump the person. Bc if you start manipulating yourself in order to win this toxic waiting game, then the relationship will be toxic. Too much stress for nothing.

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  2 роки тому +1

      Thanks for sharing your insights here! I talk more about that in this video: ua-cam.com/video/7FBAsHoLSOA/v-deo.html

  • @miguelalvarado2673
    @miguelalvarado2673 3 роки тому +133

    Ghosting is not acceptable. Time to go so, GET OUT AND STAY OUT! I love you, Alex, your video advice is great!

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  3 роки тому +1

      Thanks for sharing your insights here - I agree!

    • @lc4972
      @lc4972 3 роки тому

      I know who u listen to. Lol. HG Tudor. And he is really good.

    • @paula3406
      @paula3406 Рік тому

      Thank you 😊💗😇 God bless 🙏🌷🌺🙂😁 you

  • @cynthiac735
    @cynthiac735 2 роки тому +107

    Hadn't communicated with him for almost 7 months and he came back with a new year's wish two weeks after Jan. 1; I replied amicably and knew it was a test. Three days later, I received another message..."Good morning". I replied around 10 pm...."Have a good night" - lol. He replied, "Good night and rest well". Haven't heard from him since, because he saw that the door was closed. He'll try again, but I'm in control of my life.

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  2 роки тому

      Thanks for sharing your experience here, Cynthia. 💕

    • @Laura-ux8vt
      @Laura-ux8vt 2 роки тому +12

      I love how you did this!!!!!

    • @ericabelcher8760
      @ericabelcher8760 2 роки тому +8

      Oh God, the textbook, "holiday wish text"! Sooo typical! They'll wait til around Thanksgiving, Christmas or New Years, knowing that you're either in a warm, cheerful, reflecting or vulnerable mood due to the time of year. As soon as you reply, they want to "check your temp", to see where you stand & if they still have an opening! Smdh 🤦‍♀️

    • @achiengdeji
      @achiengdeji Рік тому

      @@ericabelcher8760 😂😂😂😂😂😂

    • @ericabelcher8760
      @ericabelcher8760 Рік тому

      @@achiengdeji Hey! Ijs lol💀💀

  • @Aktraveller123
    @Aktraveller123 Місяць тому +4

    Have no expectation and keep distance.
    Solitude is very blissful.

  • @laurasebastian2822
    @laurasebastian2822 Рік тому +31

    Friend friend friend. Alex is so right. The minute I started treating guys like friends even if I REALLY wanted more. It relieved the pressure on both the man, but more importantly, me. I was in control, and not constantly wondering and trying to figure anything out. I let them come to me. The last guy I did that with is the man I've been with for nearly 9 years, and he wants to get married❤❤.Thanks, Alex and Helen. Such helpful information 🙂

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  Рік тому

      Thanks for sharing your experience here! 💞

    • @alhassanfirrdous7292
      @alhassanfirrdous7292 Рік тому

      Excellent, comment

    • @teresam3350
      @teresam3350 8 місяців тому

      How did you transition to more than friends? How did he know you were interested if you treat him like a friend? Are you flirtatious? Do you just mean don’t put pressure on it by being attached?

  • @sp26890
    @sp26890 3 роки тому +156

    A guy recently I spoke with started off really well showing a lot of attention etc.. Suddenly he realised he's not getting what he wanted when he wanted and felt the need to pull back.. I gave him one chance to give him the benefit of doubt but with no response I closed the door on him and dispensed him from my life. No time for mind games they need to grow a pair!

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  3 роки тому +3

      Thanks for sharing your experience here, Sophia - I’m glad you were able to move on! 💕

    • @dh3815
      @dh3815 3 роки тому +4

      sounds like someone needs to learn how to communicate. There’s no reason to sit back and wait for days on end, be distant, and wait for him to either come around or not.
      That we should not expect the man to be accountable, that we should just lay back for days on end until he decides, whether he wants to close to you again or not.
      it’s so much easier to just say what’s on your mind. this is oppressive to Women, and a pain in the ass! I completely disagree with this way of doing things.

    • @lifeoutsidecomfortzone
      @lifeoutsidecomfortzone 2 роки тому +2

      I love the word ‘dispensed.’ ‘I dispensed him from my life’ 😄👌🏼 BRILLIANT!

  • @Jenniferhkuhn
    @Jenniferhkuhn 2 роки тому +317

    I put his text alerts on hidden, this way when he does reach out (ladies they always come back!) it gives me time to respond and not feel like I’m waiting to hear from him and then reply right away. Helps me stay in peace :)

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  2 роки тому +2

      Thanks for sharing your experience here, Jen! 💕

    • @capricornangel7957
      @capricornangel7957 2 роки тому +14

      Do they always come back? My guy I was dating just vanished into thin air nearly 2 weeks ago, left my message on read and never got back to me. I didn't chase, we used to talk daily and now this has happened 🤷‍♀️☹️

    • @TheKaarnageShow
      @TheKaarnageShow 2 роки тому +12

      cos we come back, we get horrny and your there

    • @TheKaarnageShow
      @TheKaarnageShow 2 роки тому +1

      funny how after 20 min and we bus a nut and we distant again loool

    • @cheetahcat3940
      @cheetahcat3940 2 роки тому +21

      That absolutely works. That way I don't know when he does call or text. It might be 4/5 hours before I notice. That way I don't have to fight myself to not text back right away.

  • @TC-dt8fl
    @TC-dt8fl 3 роки тому +654

    Dating is difficult when you’ve been in a long term relationship. Everything is different now, and I need to learn the new rules without it being through getting hurt. Please do more of these for women 35+!

    • @TC-dt8fl
      @TC-dt8fl 3 роки тому +45

      I was ghosted for the first time, and it is so manipulative! Thank you for making videos on how it should be handled. More, please!

    • @itsmayayt
      @itsmayayt 3 роки тому +25

      Dating also is difficult when you are single all your life :(. It's easier making friends lols

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  3 роки тому +12

      You’re welcome, TC! I’ll keep that in mind for future video topics, thanks for the great suggestion! In the meantime, these ones might be helpful: ua-cam.com/video/kKcvjOjso5I/v-deo.html and ua-cam.com/video/tvWCTeZDsX8/v-deo.html.

    • @charlottetheartist327
      @charlottetheartist327 3 роки тому +1

      Right! Best wishes. Just be you.

    • @crackers1039
      @crackers1039 3 роки тому +1

      @@TC-dt8fl amen

  • @changminkeybum
    @changminkeybum 3 роки тому +54

    My goodness this kind of men are so toxic!! I pray we have the strength to release ourselves from their manipulation. Bless 🥰

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  3 роки тому +1

      Thanks for sharing, Aizan! This video should be helpful for anyone who’s questioning whether or not it’s time to move on from a man:ua-cam.com/video/VcjFqtaGj3Y/v-deo.html

  • @junebuggy8624
    @junebuggy8624 3 роки тому +32

    Make your own plans all week, with family, friends, alone and your pet. If you hear from him, don't cancel your plans, make him ask and make him wait until you've completed your other plans or errands.

  • @twade39
    @twade39 3 роки тому +277

    I went through this for 9 months! He ghosted me 5 times in the 9 m. He would usually stay gone about a month to 6 weeks then come back. I would call him out on his bad behavior and then he went silent. I gave him many chances to tell me he wasnt really into me and if so, just let me know… he never would… but this last i said no more! Game over!! Men like this are toxic!!! Stay away from them!!

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  3 роки тому +20

      Yes, in the future I would move on at the first sign of any behavior like that - I wouldn’t keep giving him chances. These videos might be helpful for anyone dealing with a man like this: ua-cam.com/video/VcjFqtaGj3Y/v-deo.html, ua-cam.com/video/fzyjMlOD3oc/v-deo.html and ua-cam.com/video/Sx4ttEKULOI/v-deo.html.

    • @denisealley9822
      @denisealley9822 3 роки тому +3

      separated from him, talking for 9 months, Going to therapy, making sure I wasn't being impulsive, as well. He was still drinking, couldn't handle anything, would walk out, so I did, with a usual. It was his 2nd and his LAST chance. He stated he wanted to get help, as he has, but the right kind then heal, using my Trauma Specialist who I do hypnosis with and

    • @msalexxa2012
      @msalexxa2012 3 роки тому +30

      You gave him many chances to tell you he was not into you and he did, with his actions.

    • @mistyblue2917
      @mistyblue2917 3 роки тому +7

      What sign was he, sis?

    • @nipornpiyapanichyakul956
      @nipornpiyapanichyakul956 3 роки тому

  • @rebeccajones8628
    @rebeccajones8628 3 роки тому +82

    Even the presidents of nations have time to text their special someone. Excellent advice Alex! Make him see you are GREAT ! Take your time to respond ! Treat him like your best friend... He is an 'experiment'. Flirt and let him see what he is losing.

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  3 роки тому +1

      I’m glad you enjoyed this, Rebecca! Here are a few more videos I’ve recorded with Alex that might also be helpful: ua-cam.com/video/zzUgvsLAvMM/v-deo.html, ua-cam.com/video/JFn2iiTjEx0/v-deo.html and ua-cam.com/video/DvjgwlcjO3E/v-deo.html.

    • @jerusalem7050
      @jerusalem7050 6 місяців тому

      Exactly

  • @myowngalnow777
    @myowngalnow777 2 роки тому +332

    I’m in my 60s and just beginning the dating scene. It’s so hard at this age, many of the men are recently widowed and have a lot of confusion in their hearts about moving forward. I have already experienced this pulling back several times. Your advice is perfect and I am following it-living my best life for me! It works. Helena, Alex, thank you for sharing this information. Even we older ladies can learn so much more about men and relationships!

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  2 роки тому +6

      You’re welcome, Sally! Here are a few more videos I recorded with Alex that might also be helpful: ua-cam.com/video/zzUgvsLAvMM/v-deo.html, ua-cam.com/video/JFn2iiTjEx0/v-deo.html and ua-cam.com/video/DvjgwlcjO3E/v-deo.html.

    • @dianegonzalez4748
      @dianegonzalez4748 2 роки тому +9

      Thatsso true and a lot of baggage and adult children

    • @CradleEpiscopalian56
      @CradleEpiscopalian56 2 роки тому +6

      I'm 66, off & on with same man. He chose a group vacation weekend over me by no contact while gone. It's childish and selfish so let him wiggly until Thursday. He needs the same lesson he dishes out.

    • @beckyforcier3515
      @beckyforcier3515 2 роки тому +4

      I am 57 I met someone who really didn't feel the same about me. He has been gone 3 months now. I lived with him for 9 months he said in beginning he wasn't my guy. I really like him and thought more than anything he was my friend. Anyway I was hoping I miss having coffee with him I was comfortable with him.

    • @sacred_alchemy
      @sacred_alchemy 2 роки тому

      You go girl!!! ❤

  • @angiesmith9293
    @angiesmith9293 2 роки тому +102

    This is timely! I am dealing with this right now. He broke up with me on Tuesday saying he was scared. He had been going way too fast. Now he is silent and barely communicating. I’m going to lean back go out with some other guys to coffee. I’m test driving motorcycles and cars! Riding my bike and working out. Auditioning for a band etc. I’m hurting but I know it will be ok. This is not my ideal relationship right now but I do care about him a lot. Thank you both so much!! You both have saved my dating life. I’m 54 and didn’t know how to date, understand what to do when men act certain ways etc. As you know, it is a fun, painful and challenging process. But, I know he’s out there. I can feel my husband looking for me. Blessings and hugs!

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  2 роки тому +5

      Thanks so much for sharing your experience here, Angie! 💗 My last two livestreams should also be helpful for your situation: ua-cam.com/video/7FBAsHoLSOA/v-deo.html and ua-cam.com/video/kdzffPA_IAI/v-deo.html.

    • @specialk8927
      @specialk8927 2 роки тому +13

      It usually means he’s seeing someone else but karma would come for him and he will be back after he gets dumped but I wouldn’t go back continue to move forward!

    • @liadagraca7604
      @liadagraca7604 Рік тому

      🙌🏻👏🏻✨🌟🍀🍀🍀🌷

    • @franziskani
      @franziskani Рік тому

      If a man is "scared" - it usually means he is not relationship material. Or it is a convenient excuse to sideline you. While he explores other options. The "I like you, but we move too fast and that scares me" ruse usually means he would like to string you along as plan B.

  • @sumairahossain03
    @sumairahossain03 2 роки тому +16

    U r so accurate....men go silent n distant so that they can come around with excuses when they want to.

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  2 роки тому +2

      Yes, I talked more about that type of man in these videos: ua-cam.com/video/7FBAsHoLSOA/v-deo.html, ua-cam.com/video/QGkBi0mjsCA/v-deo.html and ua-cam.com/video/zKEos5BY2nA/v-deo.html.

    • @maskedgamer7565
      @maskedgamer7565 2 роки тому +1

      Right...
      I woman goes cold out of nowhere just to test you.
      She will get friendly with other guys to test your confidence.
      She will insult you to see if you don't overreact.
      But oh boy, if a guy goes silence for a few days, it's a disaster.
      What about this. A guy goes distant to think if this woman is actually someone he wants to invest more time in?
      Or maybe he goes distant because he thinks the woman doesn't put enough effort into the relationship...
      So don't blame guys for going distant because women test guys on so many levels, not to mention all the high standards he has to meet before a woman even considers talking to him.

  • @juliet.2472
    @juliet.2472 2 роки тому +61

    We should stop lowering our standards and being a certain way to attract a distant person. If the person is distant, then he or she is not responding and ensuring a secure and healthy relationship. I have listened to so many of these videos and believed I could manipulate into getting their attention.. it worked for a short time and they went back to their old patterns. I now know I deserve to be loved and have a balanced equal share of attention and affection. 🙏🏻

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  2 роки тому +2

      Thanks for sharing your insights here, Julie! I agree that if a man is consistently distant it’s best to let him go and move on. I talk more about that in these videos: ua-cam.com/video/7FBAsHoLSOA/v-deo.html and ua-cam.com/video/kdzffPA_IAI/v-deo.html.

  • @sarinaj72
    @sarinaj72 3 роки тому +377

    I usually hate playing games, but this advice is great and always work when the man is distant. Mirroring his behaviour is the best solution 😁 you’re right these type of men usually need to be always in control. Thank you ❤️

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  3 роки тому +3

      You’re welcome, Sarinah! 💕

    • @Bella-fl5ok
      @Bella-fl5ok 3 роки тому +7

      Im at this stage right now. Im tired of it though

    • @sarinaj72
      @sarinaj72 3 роки тому +9

      @@Bella-fl5ok yup, I’m too old to play dating games and usually take a long break. It’s always the same cycle just different men.

    • @richardssnz52023
      @richardssnz52023 2 роки тому +1

      @@sarinaj72 .

    • @sarinaj72
      @sarinaj72 2 роки тому +1

      @@richardssnz52023 yes?

  • @splitraven7060
    @splitraven7060 3 роки тому +50

    I had this happen to me. He’s blocked. I have a date with a new man this Friday.

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  3 роки тому +1

      I’m happy to hear that, thanks for sharing! 💕

    • @splitraven7060
      @splitraven7060 3 роки тому +1

      @@HelenaHartCoaching ha ha new date from yesterday didn’t work out. He’s a great guy; however, we are not a match. I set up a new date for this evening. 🧐🥳🤩

  • @czeketa6140
    @czeketa6140 2 роки тому +29

    Check your level of anxiety over a reasonable amount of time. If it has been high or you are finding yourself constantly strategizing, run or be exhausted. It's a wicked game, not love or even a potential of it.

  • @karolinah12
    @karolinah12 Рік тому +23

    They go distant but don't like it when you meet someone better in the time gap they leave for you 😂. People do not stay where you leave them, especially when they are high value and have been fair. If you need to do too many mind games, they are not the one

  • @priscak6586
    @priscak6586 3 роки тому +40

    I wish men were abit more open and honest about what they really want. These back and forth mind games are so exhausting. I feel like we waste alot of time, time we could have spent making memories together, pretending not to care. The advice is spot on though, classic case of wanting what you can't have. You pull away, i do the same, i start managing without you, then you want me back. Sometimes though the distance is big enough, or for long enough that you actually learn how to be without that person, how to not need them anymore🤷‍♀️

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  3 роки тому +1

      Thanks for sharing your insights here! Yes, if this is a consistent pattern I would DEFINITELY move on. These videos might be helpful for anyone who’s experiencing something like this: ua-cam.com/video/fzyjMlOD3oc/v-deo.html and ua-cam.com/video/VcjFqtaGj3Y/v-deo.html.

  • @reikomyles1495
    @reikomyles1495 3 роки тому +33

    Good information to know. To be honest, I don't have the patience, tolerance, or time for playing games. Either you like me or you don't period.

  • @AudioRevelation144Hz
    @AudioRevelation144Hz 3 роки тому +184

    If he's not begging, I am not buying 😂🤣

  • @brookelight2090
    @brookelight2090 3 роки тому +289

    Why guys think by ignoring women will keep the option alive? It doesn’t make any sense. If a guy has not checked back in with me for 2-3 months, we are done! If a guy check back in with me every 2-3 weeks for more than 2 times, we are done.

    • @maricelg777
      @maricelg777 3 роки тому +15

      Exactly

    • @Vesta588
      @Vesta588 3 роки тому +104

      Gosh, I think no contact for a week is a no for me. That is breadcrumbs

    • @lyndapeoples8127
      @lyndapeoples8127 3 роки тому +2

      @@Vesta588 ...lol

    • @elainechatham5188
      @elainechatham5188 3 роки тому +4

      Great information. Thank u both. U r both exceptional.

    • @maricelg777
      @maricelg777 3 роки тому +5

      @@Vesta588 exactly

  • @farfetched9296
    @farfetched9296 3 роки тому +75

    When someone goes silent move on to the next. No one has time for power plays nor games. Too many ppl passing you daily to be bothered by one jackass. He's right on mirroring to someone what they're doing to you. Do ask questions how do you know if the person is worth your time. I want a man to run if he's not right for me. Save me the drama, energy, and headache

  • @kristiemcinnes304
    @kristiemcinnes304 2 роки тому +41

    I've been with my man 14 months. His past relationship (16 years) they dealt with issues with silent treatment. He did this a few times with me - I told him if he wants to be with me then he needs to talk about issues not give me silent treatment. This took him a while to get used to. We each have the opportunity to ask for time upfront but need to talk within 24 hours. After 14 months he does t give me the silent treatment anymore.

  • @meeksmiinkboutique1681
    @meeksmiinkboutique1681 3 роки тому +71

    I love this guy his expertise is A1! I was involved with a guy off n on for twelve years. I’m so bothered that I allowed this for so long, wasting my precious years on a dead end relationship. He knew we would never marry he knew he played all kinds of crazy games. I was comfortable and felt like he was a good guy because he was educated, and had a good career and treated me well when we were together. I was so emotional a roller coaster of emotions. I will NEVER allow myself to go through anything like this. I’m happy now that I can move on

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  3 роки тому +2

      Thanks for sharing your experience here! I’m glad you were able to move on. These videos I recorded with Alex might also be helpful for anyone who’s in a situation like that: ua-cam.com/video/zzUgvsLAvMM/v-deo.html, ua-cam.com/video/JFn2iiTjEx0/v-deo.html and ua-cam.com/video/DvjgwlcjO3E/v-deo.html.

    • @lifeoutsidecomfortzone
      @lifeoutsidecomfortzone 2 роки тому +2

      Good for you-it takes courage and a lot of strength to fully commit to that decision. You’re an inspiration to everyone who is also going through or has gone through a similar type of negative relationship 🙏🏼❤️

  • @sldavina7073
    @sldavina7073 3 роки тому +145

    Focus on you ladies!👸🏽He knows what he's talking about. It works. I've done this unknowingly and he just confirmed my experience. Powerful message. Thank you!

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  3 роки тому

      You’re welcome! Thanks for sharing your experience here. ❤️

  • @ambertrufley6594
    @ambertrufley6594 2 роки тому +20

    Rejection is divine protection

  • @delancey6232
    @delancey6232 3 роки тому +26

    His silence is MY DECISION to leave and lock the door behind me.

  • @marcycat
    @marcycat Рік тому +25

    I find when I don't do anything is when a man seeks me out. When I don't call him or show alot of interest. Ultimately it will be up to him to pursue me or to want more of a bond. Men will try to pull a woman in early on to see who she is in her standards and boundaries. I lean back and observe him to see what his intentions are. A man will tell you who he is if you observe and listen. You will know when to take a step forward to meet him or not.

  • @LaPinturaBella
    @LaPinturaBella 3 роки тому +34

    When a guy does this, he is playing games. Screw that. It's disrespect, pure and simple. Hit the road, Jack. Little boys pull this crap.

  • @InternetGirl1093
    @InternetGirl1093 3 роки тому +472

    Thank you for making this video, I have been feeling so heartbroken and devastated after seeing a man for 2 months who does this “pulling away” behavior. I made the mistake in the past of reaching out or trying to “check him” instead of just mirroring his energy and I regret it.
    I’m done giving chances. I last texted him (responding to his message) on Wednesday and it’s Sunday now and I’ve heard nothing from him. I’m over it. It’s painful, but I am not going to be treated like a last priority.

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  3 роки тому +11

      You’re welcome! Thanks for sharing your experience here - these videos should also be helpful for future reference so you don’t get invested in a man like this ever again: ua-cam.com/video/VcjFqtaGj3Y/v-deo.html, ua-cam.com/video/1obo_qVEIHs/v-deo.html, ua-cam.com/video/fzyjMlOD3oc/v-deo.html, ua-cam.com/video/_jARxknc160/v-deo.html and ua-cam.com/video/x8yKaWNdq7g/v-deo.html.

    • @nikkinorman4254
      @nikkinorman4254 3 роки тому +25

      You are such a sweet person, sometimes they get envious. Watch out girl, you saw this video for a reason. Focus on you bby.

    • @hayl8569
      @hayl8569 3 роки тому +9

      u were in the same sitiuation as I am rn and ima use this method asap

    • @lmiller1413
      @lmiller1413 2 роки тому +7

      You deserve better. Flush the toilet. Move on. Lock the door and don't let him back in. He sounds like he will be painful to be with. You deserve a man who is willing to fight dragons for you, climb mountains for you, and value you.

    • @jessyjohn4326
      @jessyjohn4326 2 роки тому +1

      Ur videos r wonderful they motives Alex u r a wonderful person.

  • @happygirl4218
    @happygirl4218 2 роки тому +12

    I'm trying to love myself.
    I've never believed I am enough. But I know deep in my heart I can't give up.
    Maybe one day someone will genuinely love me. I appreciate the advice and video. I'm going to put my best foot forward.
    Today is the first day he went silent. I now realize all the work I must do.

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  2 роки тому +3

      Thanks for sharing your experience here. ❤️ My latest livestream might also be helpful: ua-cam.com/video/7FBAsHoLSOA/v-deo.html

    • @annetteka
      @annetteka 6 місяців тому

      💕 ua-cam.com/video/ueB8u4gLaGE/v-deo.html

  • @teresebjorsenius6432
    @teresebjorsenius6432 3 роки тому +59

    This just started playing in my feed and it was exactly what I needed to hear. I just decided to give up on my man after he broke up with me but still is contacting me. And I told him that, now two days later he wants to talk to me again. I don’t know what he will say but I know that I want a man who never gives up on me and never runs away by breaking up.

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  3 роки тому +1

      Thanks for sharing your experience here. Yes, you want a man who KNOWS what he wants - I talk more about that in this short video: ua-cam.com/video/9lU97CsjH2U/v-deo.html

  • @emiconduit2
    @emiconduit2 3 роки тому +133

    It sounds like that type of behavior is the avoidant type, very difficult to cope with... Move on and find someone secure that gives you certainty. Not hot & cold, that's not healthy.

  • @magdalenaczechowicz7978
    @magdalenaczechowicz7978 3 роки тому +86

    Silence is a choice was the best thing I heard today and it stuck with me all day long as I eagerly await his one texts throughout the day that short and unemotional

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  3 роки тому +2

      Thanks for sharing, Magdalena! This video might also be helpful: ua-cam.com/video/_fiTUm_DCAw/v-deo.html

    • @megtaylor1027
      @megtaylor1027 2 роки тому +14

      Stop waiting sis. Just stop. Move on. Someone who wants to be in your life will be

    • @malindaallen718
      @malindaallen718 2 роки тому +13

      Sounds like he is just keeping you on "the back burner", as a potential side chick or backup fkbuddy. Painful to hear, but it's better to face the truth and move on

  • @telishaswails5554
    @telishaswails5554 3 роки тому +83

    Going through it now. Sometimes you give your all and the person you love just breaks your heart.

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  3 роки тому +3

      Sorry to hear you’re going through this right now. These videos should be helpful: ua-cam.com/video/fzyjMlOD3oc/v-deo.html, ua-cam.com/video/_fiTUm_DCAw/v-deo.html, ua-cam.com/video/VcjFqtaGj3Y/v-deo.html, ua-cam.com/video/9lU97CsjH2U/v-deo.html, ua-cam.com/video/qA6BgG246bU/v-deo.html, ua-cam.com/video/7r_ba4kReaQ/v-deo.html, ua-cam.com/video/Sx4ttEKULOI/v-deo.html, ua-cam.com/video/GVnjg3UFYdY/v-deo.html and ua-cam.com/video/l-8gcLyphow/v-deo.html.

    • @telishaswails5554
      @telishaswails5554 3 роки тому +2

      @@HelenaHartCoaching thankyou very much

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  3 роки тому +1

      You’re welcome! ❤️

    • @goldenopportunitytospeak6293
      @goldenopportunitytospeak6293 3 роки тому +7

      Never give a person your all. They are just human beings.

    • @telishaswails5554
      @telishaswails5554 2 роки тому

      @@danilaroche1156 actually we are married and have a daughter and luckily we've been doing well lately thanks to communication

  • @BiancaBronte
    @BiancaBronte 2 роки тому +6

    Realize that you deserve better. You deserve to know YOU are the IT girl. He doesn’t deserve your gift of love. Be patient and you will get what you deserve.

  • @MollyTheMoonchild
    @MollyTheMoonchild 6 днів тому +1

    Not only is he giving very helpful advice...To be honest, he's very easy on the eyes & ears too 😉

  • @nikitogias8367
    @nikitogias8367 3 роки тому +131

    I literally just ignored the message even though I know he likes me and I have feelz. I don't like hot and cold or games. I'm ok with accepting that some guys can't go deep which is really important to me 🙂

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  3 роки тому +2

      Thanks for sharing your experience here, Niki! 💕

    • @janine1111
      @janine1111 3 роки тому +2

      I really believe it’s all about that! Some men are just scared of losing their freedom and independence when having a women. It’s really just their issue, it’s not ours, girls!!

    • @georgialee6755
      @georgialee6755 2 роки тому +4

      Janine A man isn’t afraid of that if he’s with a woman he wants to be with. Most men end up married. Don’t use that as an excuse

    • @franziskani
      @franziskani Рік тому

      @@georgialee6755 A man can get married or end up in a longterm relationship - and never go deep with his partner. Isn't going to last of course. and yes, some persons (males and females) simply are not relationship material. Some do not know and some are O.K. with it and just swap partners constantly (or they live single - but then they would not be an issue for the people watching this video.

  • @bearbear8244
    @bearbear8244 2 роки тому +38

    I’m not chasing a guy. I’m designed to be chased. Not the chaser.
    😊chasing a man will push him further away.

  • @karenwellington8569
    @karenwellington8569 5 днів тому +1

    Yup told my ex not to speak to me if he couldn't speak to me as a human being, we didn't speak for 8 months and in that time I got everything ready to get my own place. All his begging was a damn joke.

  • @surdogal
    @surdogal 3 роки тому +53

    When a guy tries to do the hot/cold leave the door open routine with me I love to slam that door firmly shut and move on with gratitude for not wasting any more of my time. I wish them well I truly do but I’m waiting for my Mr Right to show up - I don’t want to miss him because I was too busy looking out for Mr Time Waster !

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  3 роки тому +3

      I love what you said here - thanks for sharing! These videos should be helpful for anyone who’s questioning whether or not it’s time to walk away: ua-cam.com/video/VcjFqtaGj3Y/v-deo.html and ua-cam.com/video/aHDHiOJALjc/v-deo.html.

    • @surdogal
      @surdogal 3 роки тому +3

      @Mukaila Lateefat Thanks but my ex’s are ex’s for a good reason, I would not have them back. Self love and self care is what I am working on and I trust the person who is right for me will come my way in time 💜

    • @georgialee6755
      @georgialee6755 2 роки тому +1

      surdogal Don’t think too much about getting mr right - you have to get yourself in order first so you can attract Mr Right.

    • @paula3406
      @paula3406 Рік тому

      It is a waste of time.i am dating a guy who is very moody and I am not going to put up with him anymore.he is a jerk! I can get Alot better than him.🙂🌺😇