She is childish. I'm not making up a lie to cancel a date etc. If I decide to cancel, you'll know exactly why. We're grown. I'm not playing silly games w/ ppl. It is what it is. SMH
I understand what she saying. She is right, you should have your own space and not be under a man 24/7 but you should be doing those things naturally. If you have to cancel it’s because you actually have things to do. You don’t cancel on the man then sit at home in a dark room fiddling with your thumbs waiting for him to call you and make new plans all for the sake of staying “mysterious” 😂
@@AuthorJanaeMarieyeah dont listen to them. You definitely don’t want to do this on the first date. Men give up at that point and honestly you should do the same.
@Bri-nc8yp She is just plain. Stupid, she will definitely lose the man doing childish behavior like that unless he's clingy desperate and a sorry simp 😂
Actually men do want to be challenged. He needs to feel like he earned your time and your attention in order to value you. You can call it playing games but humans don’t value something they didn’t earn.
@@acd1168 She never said earn her what she said was how to keep her/him by lying intentionally to seem more busy & occupied than appreciate & value the time they can have together but rather play the you have to battle & compete for her time.
@@daughterofthegodoflovewar4737 She talks about he has to earn you in her other videos. This is just one video. As someone who used to give into men easily, I find her messages empowering. It’s not playing games.
I am introvert and don't have a lot of friends so I rarely go out but if I am dating someone I don't pretend I am doing anything, I just say not today I am not feeling it. Because sometimes I have my own stuff to do, like cleaning, grooming, spa days etc. Just because I have nothing to do doesn't mean I want to see you.I want to have a lazy day of reading, exercise or binging on shows etc. It's simple as this.
Don’t do this…it sounds like a full time job and exhausting. You should already be too busy enjoying life to lie about it. Just be honest and let the relationship flow🤍
Men and women give and take bad advice. My ex pulled this stunt and I completely lost interest. He said he was just trying to see if I would miss him. I missed him alright. Right out of my life. Who has TIME or ENERGY for these games?! Way to grown. I also agree with having strong men. My daddy was in the house with me and I have a solid example to follow.
In my opinion, the only man that would be interested in this type of woman is a psychotic man that likes drama and chaos! She is going to mess around and get just what she looking for! This type of behavior takes a lot of energy and methodical thinking to do!
You are absolutely correct. I know a particular guy that loves drama. Every woman he dates has some type of ex-husband drama, emotional drama, loud, doesn’t carry themselves well etc. even our homeboys are like dude seriously?!…. He has been that way for years. But a man that has his life in order he will avoid drama at all cost.
It's crazy u just assumed this for one he didn't play her whole video and two all she said was don't be too available even when your not busy ur triggered by her choice of words to describe an idea she has.im sorry y'all a little immature in your thinking but so is the content creator honestly
Because in reality if we don't actively try to look for a good man you ain't gone find a man at all. Stats show how many of us will be unmarried and experience shows men are getting worse not better. If you think sitting and looking pretty while you wait on a man is a good strategy to finding a mate you'll be waiting forever.
@PhotoJeticPoet that is also true, I don't suggest chasing them, though. She would have to have great discernment. Dating now a days can be dangerous. It's a lose/lose situation whether you wait or attempt.
Exactly.. a woman is found.. women shouldn’t be out looking for husbands.. the man finds you.. it’s not she who finds a husband, it’s he who finds a wife. You can’t “find” the man because you’re not supposed to be looking in the first place.
You ladies also remember, the man should genuinely like you a little MORE than you like him for the relationship to have longevity....a lot of guys are not going to tell you that
She sounds chaotic and devious. What’s up with that laugh🙄. Ok don’t make yourself too available in the dating stage but always be honest and truthful. Don’t be Childish. It doesn’t amount to anything. Ppl seem to confuse boring with normal and organized . Just foolish
I disagree From what I've seen with my own eyes, men will get hooked on the women who play mind games. Men say they don't like mind games but their actions says otherwise.
Are those type of men that go for what they claim they don't want the type of man that you want? If not pay them no mind and keep doing what you know is right
If look at that man’s life closely he has some stuff going on. He is not stable. That is unattractive to a healthy minded man. Peace isn’t boring for people who are emotionally healthy.
She is one of the worse ones on Instagram. Teaching nothing but game and nothing of substance. But I was raised by a God fearing father so what do I know.
If a woman cancels a date with me 2-3 times in a row, I would either think she isn't that interested in me, or I would simply just get bored of waiting. People are busy, so nobody has time to play games.
I used to watch her content but she advised playing too many games I’m like I don’t wanna do this to get a guy to like me if I gotta play meaningless tricks like this either I don’t need to be with him or he just doesn’t like me … like no
Man... Bro as an introverted God fearing, Family, business minded focused Man you hit the Nail on the Head with your commentary. We don't have time for all those extra games because we have a purpose to work on and anyone or anything distracting us from that mission have to go Thanks!
@yupyup3878 You sound hurt, and i understand why! The person you're describing isn't me or the men he's describing in this video! Clearly, it is a case of mistaken identity because we really mean we have a purpose to fulfill. Even if we have free time, we spend it wisely, not chasing women, I'm just saying!
Same as you bro , dont have time to be chasing because I am taking care of my younger siblings, getting my degrees and managing my families businesses, Idle people have time for those games are the devils workshop. Now these baby mamas wants me to cuff them up.😂😂😂
Have a life. Problem solved. You don’t have manufacture busy, when you actually are. Some men will like that and understand it, and some men won’t. Go with the men that do.
Boring men don’t like boring women. They like the excitement she brings & vice Versa. I used to consider myself the boring girl until I met a man more boring than me …now I was the “fun girl”. It switches like that. Also, I don’t think the girl meant to literally be toxic. She’s just saying to not be so available and have a life, which is good for ANY relationship to thrive. Being predictable & available all the time takes from the mystery. Yes, it’s boring when there’s nothing left to explore 🤷🏽♀️
Yes we should be busy but we shouldn’t have to be mysterious to keep a man pursuing us. If we do, then that man wasn’t meant for us. Personally since I’m a Christian, sex won’t be on the table until I’m married. I think that’s also another factor. Unfortunately yes, once men “get” you and i mean sexually too, then they can change (not saying all, because i did have premarital sex in my last relationship). But i think the dynamic would shift a little if the relationship isn’t sexual and you don’t play any mind games this lady is talking about. But i don’t think we should cancel all our plans for a guy, that in of itself would be toxic for ourselves
Not all men are the same. Both me and my man are boring so I tried to add the"spice"by doing what some of the female UA-cam influencers inspired us to do and I almost lost him😅
lol wrong source of inspiration. They are speaking in general terms which is more profitable for them but bad for you cause they don't know your man like you do.
You know it's sad because a lot of us were put on game at a very young age. Some of the elderly women that we sought for advice would often say y'all way to willing and available, make him chase you, don't answer every time he calls, etc. Unfortunately these are/were women we look or looked up to and are very much married decadeslong. I just decided a couple year's ago that I'm tired of playing. If I need all these rules to be taken seriously, then I'm seriously no longer interested. I took myself off the market and nearly 8 year's later I'm still single. I've done a lot of personal work to be the best version I can be and am now considering getting back out there. The truth is with the amount of foolery happening in the world now, I'm borderline terrified of the thought of being vulnerable with someone that's use to women playing games 🙏🏾.
Same here and people still think that mess is cute. I remember coming across a “real” man years ago and tried those mind games with him. He politely left my butt alone and I couldn’t do nothing but respect him for it. Real men don’t waste their time with mind games. Then I grew up, gave my life to Christ, and said never again.
@@christinawhitfield1720 right same here. I’m not the same person I use to be but it seems like it’s men liked the old me. Not only I was playing mind games but I was toxic and crazy , the jealous girl and some dudes be liking that and I don’t understand
@@Afrocreolebombshelle they like it because they are men who carry that toxic spirit in them. They are undelivered men, meaning they haven’t given themselves over to Christ yet. If and when they do, all that changes. That spirit in them is trying to bring that old toxic spirit back out of you and don’t let it.
Men absolutely Don't like boring women. Single and celibate more than 2.5 years...and dating is crap. But this shawty jumping through too much hoops like cirque de soleil.
She said “positive toxic” like the two could even go together 😂😂…there’s no such thing sis! Mind games get old and guess what…dare I say it?? “Boringgggg” too. At some point it’s time to grow up.
Exactly that's what the dictionary calls " counter intuitive"..... people are just playing with words nowadays and trying to validate them, that's like me someone say, " I'm broke/rich"😂
Everybody wants to be the toxic one. It makes them feel like they are powerful and important when they have control over your life and emotions. A lot and the majority of pll are like that. It’s like a tit for tat or get back game it’s sick.
In reality she's not really doing any of those things so then what happens when he realizes that you really have nothing going for yourself? I just think it's funny how y'all think men are stupid. They know you. One day you'll have to be your real self everyday.
Society for decades have pushed the " men are dumb, cave man, low intelligence" narrative to the point, where women in her age group really think, "Human with penis=low intelligence".....smh
Brother in Christ, I PRAISE THE LORD JESUS CHRIST for my wife. I'm so glad to not be single and be married to a real woman of God. These dating streets are horrific. Let my "boring", stable self enjoy the married life...and stay FAR from the toxic.
It’s interesting a lot Women in the comment section feel men love toxic Women. I must be in the minority then 🤔. I don’t like women who play mind games it’s a massive turn off for me. I don’t like chasing women either and value reciprocity.
Hell would not have been created had men actually had morals and standards. So many men truly believe smashing and passing doesn't have consequences. Both kinds of individuals have spiritual guides. All of that comes back around.
I agree with the not being so available. Women should have things going for themselves other than your man, but not intentionally canceling dates or doing petty stuff. You should have self-care. Times you workout and go for walks in nature. So you’re not only focused on him. The message was wrong cause she was intentionally being petty, but don’t be too available
“Boring” men make the best husbands. Dedicated to their family, loyal and supportive to their wife and kids. These men have no desire for Chicken Heads, Thots, and 304’s. Good for him….
I have family members and friends that tell me me “I need to stop being so vulnerable” and that mentally F’s me up. I’m considered “boring” but I do activities that are not that common and my family tells me everything this girl is saying in the video. I’m 33 I don’t have time for mine games. The sad thing is when you have family tel you this, you think it’s the right thing because it comes from them.
@@thewordsmith5440 absolutely! I learned that from my past vulnerable things were weaponized against me. But at least shumake a page has its own little community
I speak for myself when I say mind games messed me up in the head mentally and I'm still trynna get over the girls from high school who acted interested and then made a joke of me. what human being would want to keep trying to date or mess with women but my mom and dad were like av you ain't messing with women you messing with immature girls but I'm 20 now and honesty in my perspective ain't shit changing dog so honestly to protect my mind and peace and health Ima opt out. and fr fr I'm an introvert and Ima be honest I was lead astray by the Red Pill shit I thought that it was the key but man so many dudes I know are on that shit vs when I was 14 vs now im 20 and I look back I go damm that shit is mad corny crazy how the good dude is looked at as corny but the toxic dude is cool society and ppl morals are so gone well not really but majority ppl are gone so guys and ladies, if somebody is playing games with you, keep in mind your time mental and health isn't worth it I used to mess with this girl in high school bro was my type looked like a girl outta the 90s so after a while we talk and talk vibe laugh bro next thing you know once she knew she had me the toxic stuff came and it's crazy cuz my parents warned me about manipulative women like her whole time I'm like Nah some girls ain't like that bro 🤦🏿♂️aint no worst feeling to think somebody likes you connects with you then to find out they were playing you the whole time or to the be the backup plan just so they can save their own ass I speak for the ppl who've been hurt like this man and women I pray y'all find some peace cuz I know how traumatic that can be makes you get to a certain point in life where the hope is just gone.
I’m glad you’re protecting your peace now & I’m sorry you went through that but as a 23 year old girl who literally would have never guessed a young guy would be even listening to Shamake due to how society is today I love to see it! Keep doing you! The right one gone come into your life when God ready for that to happen!
I’m sorry that happened to you, but never let what others did change who you are inside. I have been hurt a lot, but I remain loving, faithful, and kind. I am more selective about who I let into my space and I really protect my peace. God has something for you. Just be patient and be open to it.
Chile, all that sounds like a whole lot of work I'm just not willing to do 😩😂 it's a difference between ACTUALLY being unavailable at times and INTENTIONALLY doing things and making stuff up to seem like your unavailable. Because if the tables were turned and a man was doing that to me, I'mma end up uninterested and moving on.
people who play games honestly got too much time on they hands , the energy you using to play games on someone can be put towards something more productive. The women/men that think this is okay need a mental check it’s childish. Y’all to big to be out here acting like teenagers like be fr and this is coming from a 21 yr old woman.
If being yourself and a decent human being ain't enough to hold him, he ain't worth holding. Life is too d*mn short. We got travelin to do, money to make, and lives to live.
Why I understand not wanting to make yourself too available to any man, I do not see the need for these games. Make time for yourself, simple. You do not have to do everything with a man or woman, personal time and space is essential to a healthy you
I’m five minutes into the video… I’m not sure if Shumake or someone below already said it, but the problem with her logic is while you’re being “unavailable“ The only type of men that would be attracted to that foolishness will be going around trying to talk to other girls, probably get what he want out of you eventually *ahem ahem* and then move on from you. He said it best you’re not gonna attract a good guy with that kind of shenanigans. She has the most backwards logic I’ve ever heard of in my life. Not to mention, it’s an old tactic/mindset, it’s not unheard of.
I'm so glad I serve a big God so when I do meet my future husband I don't have to play "positive toxic" games. 😂 Yes, have a life that's fulfilling so you're not draining to your man, but games are for people whose intentions are to play. When you are dating the person who is potentially your kingdom spouse, you should want to show up as the highest version of yourself, show respect and add peace to their life, not turmoil. If that's the one, you should endeavor to treat them in a way that shows God you can be trusted with such a sacred relationship. And if they're not the one, why would you wanna potentially cause lingering trauma to your brother/sister in Christ? Ask God for wisdom and you won't have to play childish games.
Its the simple things a man does for me that makes me feel secure in the relationship. I wouldn't take her advice. I need certain things to be routine from the man I am doing life with. JS
Many people who have accumulated lots of wealth have taken risks. They were smart and thought about the risks, but still had enough confidence and faith in themselves to take the risks. Don't confuse peace and safety with boring. No one wants to be bored by their partner. But they do want to have someone who will be their safe place, who they can rely on, who they can trust. That's not boring.
That advice is good for only psychopath women...and those are the dream girls in my high school (quite literally, if a good looking girl is not crazy and soulless, she's dismissed just like me, while the psycho women are always desired). It has always been that way and cruel soulless women are especially desirable to the boys in my high school. That has always been my experience throughout my teens and 20s, and continues in my 30s, and is the reason why I never dated. I refuse to date some guy who settled for me while his dream girl is a psychopath socialite who sleeps around with the entire city. Hence why I would rather not have a guy who has too much dating experience. If he does, then that's a red flag, because that means he is the kind of guy who goes for that kind of woman.
This one is talking about men without focus or are confused . Do that shit with men that have something going on for them that dont want some unneccesary stress and you would be surprised by what you would be left with .
I say this all the time. Nobody wants to play mind games just to secure a man. Be yourself, stop listening to snakes. If he doesn’t like you for who you are then its not meant to be.
She has it wrong. Real men don't like positive toxicity. That is a total turnoff. Maybe if you are dealing with a toxic male, maybe he likes toxicity. It seems like people are self-sabotaging their relationships.
Exactly and its unfortunate the devil is using these women to poison young innocent womens minds into thinking thats healthy advise. I was one of these women who fell for this foolishness and I instantly regreted it
Regardless of what gender you are, playing mindgames is wildly childish and being petty is not a flex. It's never acceptable to play with a person's mental health.EVER.It's cowardly and self- sabotaging. All in a bid to not get hurt. Meanwhile, you may have just lost a real one🤷🏾♀️
This is called dark psychology for a reason. It's manipulation through deceit. It will likely not end well. Especially if the man is of quality and is a continual learner. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. I see women do this alot and end up losing the good man and pairing up in a toxic relationship they regret for a number of reasons. Abuse, cheating and lost years. Karma is real. One of my favorite recent sayings, "the seeds we plant grow into the consequences we have to face." But they all think they are the exception to the rule and they can flip a switch and have what they want whenever they want. Sad reality is that isn't the case. You don't get many swings at bat for a good man. Worst even is that when they reject a man of God, they are directly rejecting God Himself. You don't reject God, wave your hand and have it your way when you're ready. He will remind you that you rejected His gift in foolishness.
Emotionally mature people aren't into mind games and will notice that kind of childish behavior. You're right. When you're busy or just want time for yourself, that's one thing and that's fine. But there's no need to play the whole "unavailable" game, i've seen a lot of both men and women teaching this message and it's unhealthy if you are someone who's looking for a serious relationship or marriage.
Men respect women who have a life outside them and understand that the woman is not always available not because she’s playing games but because she has a schedule smh this lady makes it hard for women who are sometimes busy because they work and have hobbies but do make time to date
I am genuine, at times may do "boring" stuff, but my fiancee loves and likes ME. He's right, good men who are serious are looking for the real you, no games, they want good communication. I am learning to communicate better ..be an adult not a kid. Don't lie. Men are looking for the real YOU.
These young women are getting worse! If a young lady come around my son and nephews playing these games, l am going to hurt her feelings, and theirs too. Life is too precious for these games, and there is too much that has to be accomplished, and playing games is going to hinder them.
I'm sorry, but she's right. Men do not like predictable mentally stable women. Do you know how many times I've been told that I'm boring because I don't want to fight, or put up with drama? I've never known a man personally or a potential romantic partner that didn't want a damsel in distress or borderline personality disordered mental case.
😂, women don't mind this girl, she going to get you put to the back of the line with these mental games, ..... Ok you buzz, let's see what Tanya's doing 😂
Shumake ... I generally like your commentary ... BUT you're Married!!!! And the MAJORITY (not ALL) of dudes ... Operate like this ... she's 1000% right ... REAL Men ... you don't have too ... but the majority of guys ... this is what you have to do ... to diffuse their Faulty programming 🤨
She spoke facts! Based on my experience and those of many other Ladies I know, this is very true. HOWEVER, there are men who are exceptions! They've also had experiences that have built a certain maturity in them and they know what to truly value in relationships. There are also those men who are led by the Spirit and not their hunting instincts and are truly committed in building a fulfilling relationship. You just have to watch and pray so God will direct you to the right one.
The thing is she has a point. Ironically, I am usually busy with not a lot of time for dating and the men who like me still constantly try to pursue me. It gets annoying sometimes. But it’s like they have a mission to get me regardless if I’m available or not.
If you create an interesting, vibrant, and fulfilling life, you will never have to make up fake scenarios and play these types of games. If you fill your life with meaning, pursue your goals, and find a purpose, you will never have time for such sillyness. Like they say, play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
Sorry to say but I think she's right. Been a good woman, available, not a gold digger, Good character will get you played everytime...something I've noticed, they like toxic and unavailable women
A good man to me is a guy who's Smart, Well- groomed, Respect himself, Ambitious, knows how to Control his anger & has strong values. Great video..!! Your videos are teachable 🙂🙂
She is childish. I'm not making up a lie to cancel a date etc. If I decide to cancel, you'll know exactly why. We're grown. I'm not playing silly games w/ ppl. It is what it is. SMH
I agree. But I see so many people on the internet saying this is what works? I’m not interested in playing games. Please tell me this is NOT the way?
@@AuthorJanaeMarieit's absolutely NOT the way 😭 only childish people like playing mind games like that
I understand what she saying. She is right, you should have your own space and not be under a man 24/7 but you should be doing those things naturally.
If you have to cancel it’s because you actually have things to do. You don’t cancel on the man then sit at home in a dark room fiddling with your thumbs waiting for him to call you and make new plans all for the sake of staying “mysterious” 😂
@@AuthorJanaeMarieyeah dont listen to them. You definitely don’t want to do this on the first date. Men give up at that point and honestly you should do the same.
@Bri-nc8yp She is just plain. Stupid, she will definitely lose the man doing childish behavior like that unless he's clingy desperate and a sorry simp 😂
Honestly if anyone has to do all of that then y'all were not meant for one another❗
This!!!
Exactly. That's tiring.
Actually men do want to be challenged. He needs to feel like he earned your time and your attention in order to value you. You can call it playing games but humans don’t value something they didn’t earn.
@@acd1168 She never said earn her what she said was how to keep her/him by lying intentionally to seem more busy & occupied than appreciate & value the time they can have together but rather play the you have to battle & compete for her time.
@@daughterofthegodoflovewar4737 She talks about he has to earn you in her other videos. This is just one video. As someone who used to give into men easily, I find her messages empowering. It’s not playing games.
I am introvert and don't have a lot of friends so I rarely go out but if I am dating someone I don't pretend I am doing anything, I just say not today I am not feeling it. Because sometimes I have my own stuff to do, like cleaning, grooming, spa days etc.
Just because I have nothing to do doesn't mean I want to see you.I want to have a lazy day of reading, exercise or binging on shows etc. It's simple as this.
Yes yes yes & YES!
Yes Indeed
I am an introvert too
Exactly, I'm the same way. Sometimes I don't want to be bothered and I need some "Me time", dating or not.
This is so me!
this comment validated me so much 🥲💞
Don’t do this…it sounds like a full time job and exhausting. You should already be too busy enjoying life to lie about it. Just be honest and let the relationship flow🤍
yes. wise comment.
Men and women give and take bad advice. My ex pulled this stunt and I completely lost interest. He said he was just trying to see if I would miss him. I missed him alright. Right out of my life. Who has TIME or ENERGY for these games?! Way to grown. I also agree with having strong men. My daddy was in the house with me and I have a solid example to follow.
Amen
In my opinion, the only man that would be interested in this type of woman is a psychotic man that likes drama and chaos! She is going to mess around and get just what she looking for! This type of behavior takes a lot of energy and methodical thinking to do!
You are absolutely correct. I know a particular guy that loves drama. Every woman he dates has some type of ex-husband drama, emotional drama, loud, doesn’t carry themselves well etc. even our homeboys are like dude seriously?!…. He has been that way for years.
But a man that has his life in order he will avoid drama at all cost.
🎯 And, it seems like childish foolishness! I’m too grown, GROWN-GROWN, to play games with other peoples children!
It's crazy u just assumed this for one he didn't play her whole video and two all she said was don't be too available even when your not busy ur triggered by her choice of words to describe an idea she has.im sorry y'all a little immature in your thinking but so is the content creator honestly
Why can't women just center theirselves and let the right man find them. Playing games can also win you stupid prizes.
Because in reality if we don't actively try to look for a good man you ain't gone find a man at all. Stats show how many of us will be unmarried and experience shows men are getting worse not better. If you think sitting and looking pretty while you wait on a man is a good strategy to finding a mate you'll be waiting forever.
@PhotoJeticPoet that is also true, I don't suggest chasing them, though. She would have to have great discernment. Dating now a days can be dangerous. It's a lose/lose situation whether you wait or attempt.
Exactly.. a woman is found.. women shouldn’t be out looking for husbands.. the man finds you.. it’s not she who finds a husband, it’s he who finds a wife. You can’t “find” the man because you’re not supposed to be looking in the first place.
@@msdivaok exactly!
You ladies also remember, the man should genuinely like you a little MORE than you like him for the relationship to have longevity....a lot of guys are not going to tell you that
She sounds chaotic and devious. What’s up with that laugh🙄. Ok don’t make yourself too available in the dating stage but always be honest and truthful. Don’t be Childish. It doesn’t amount to anything. Ppl seem to confuse boring with normal and organized . Just foolish
I disagree
From what I've seen with my own eyes, men will get hooked on the women who play mind games.
Men say they don't like mind games but their actions says otherwise.
Are those type of men that go for what they claim they don't want the type of man that you want? If not pay them no mind and keep doing what you know is right
It's why women change their look many times
Also, the lunar calendar, is unpredictable ..and feminine
There's a version of stable..which usnt "boring"
They love it. They like the chase. They are hunters.
If look at that man’s life closely he has some stuff going on. He is not stable. That is unattractive to a healthy minded man. Peace isn’t boring for people who are emotionally healthy.
@@KFontLab Even healthy men are men. All men are hunters. Period.
If she doing all this, I don’t want her. I’m a boring dude. I got to work, and I go to school. I just need a regular girl…
I would love that 😩🤣
What's keeping you from having one then?
❤
Real women appreciate men like you ❤
What is a regular girl.
Positive Toxic…. An Oxymoron, if I ever heard one ! Straight up foolery 💞✌🏽
righhhttt i’m like that’s an oxymoron it’ll never work out
I’m so tired of people staging. I need a man that’s just as into me as I am into him. Transparency and like mindedness is vital. This era is so fake
I may be boring but dammit, I'm consistent! Lol.
Men should never play mind games with a woman
That's why today it's so much harder to be in a relationship because people tell alot of lies instead of telling you the truth 💯
She is one of the worse ones on Instagram. Teaching nothing but game and nothing of substance. But I was raised by a God fearing father so what do I know.
If a woman cancels a date with me 2-3 times in a row, I would either think she isn't that interested in me, or I would simply just get bored of waiting. People are busy, so nobody has time to play games.
I used to watch her content but she advised playing too many games I’m like I don’t wanna do this to get a guy to like me if I gotta play meaningless tricks like this either I don’t need to be with him or he just doesn’t like me … like no
Man... Bro as an introverted God fearing, Family, business minded focused Man you hit the Nail on the Head with your commentary. We don't have time for all those extra games because we have a purpose to work on and anyone or anything distracting us from that mission have to go Thanks!
@yupyup3878 You sound hurt, and i understand why! The person you're describing isn't me or the men he's describing in this video! Clearly, it is a case of mistaken identity because we really mean we have a purpose to fulfill. Even if we have free time, we spend it wisely, not chasing women, I'm just saying!
Facts
Same as you bro , dont have time to be chasing because I am taking care of my younger siblings, getting my degrees and managing my families businesses, Idle people have time for those games are the devils workshop. Now these baby mamas wants me to cuff them up.😂😂😂
Have a life. Problem solved. You don’t have manufacture busy, when you actually are. Some men will like that and understand it, and some men won’t. Go with the men that do.
Boring men don’t like boring women. They like the excitement she brings & vice Versa. I used to consider myself the boring girl until I met a man more boring than me …now I was the “fun girl”. It switches like that. Also, I don’t think the girl meant to literally be toxic. She’s just saying to not be so available and have a life, which is good for ANY relationship to thrive. Being predictable & available all the time takes from the mystery. Yes, it’s boring when there’s nothing left to explore 🤷🏽♀️
I agree!💯
Be bored then.
@@Bornagainvillain Stop trolling 🧌 lol
Yes we should be busy but we shouldn’t have to be mysterious to keep a man pursuing us. If we do, then that man wasn’t meant for us. Personally since I’m a Christian, sex won’t be on the table until I’m married. I think that’s also another factor. Unfortunately yes, once men “get” you and i mean sexually too, then they can change (not saying all, because i did have premarital sex in my last relationship). But i think the dynamic would shift a little if the relationship isn’t sexual and you don’t play any mind games this lady is talking about.
But i don’t think we should cancel all our plans for a guy, that in of itself would be toxic for ourselves
Not all men are the same. Both me and my man are boring so I tried to add the"spice"by doing what some of the female UA-cam influencers inspired us to do and I almost lost him😅
Define spice 😂. Like, what are some examples of what you did?
lol wrong source of inspiration. They are speaking in general terms which is more profitable for them but bad for you cause they don't know your man like you do.
@@Mavan0 you are right🦋
@@naturesown1807 I was just trying to be a lil toxic and creating some unnecessary fights😅
@@blondegahamanyi Yep, now you see how they got themselves in their situation. Hope you learned a valuable lesson
I really don’t understand these stupid immature toxic games
You know it's sad because a lot of us were put on game at a very young age. Some of the elderly women that we sought for advice would often say y'all way to willing and available, make him chase you, don't answer every time he calls, etc.
Unfortunately these are/were women we look or looked up to and are very much married decadeslong. I just decided a couple year's ago that I'm tired of playing. If I need all these rules to be taken seriously, then I'm seriously no longer interested.
I took myself off the market and nearly 8 year's later I'm still single. I've done a lot of personal work to be the best version I can be and am now considering getting back out there. The truth is with the amount of foolery happening in the world now, I'm borderline terrified of the thought of being vulnerable with someone that's use to women playing games 🙏🏾.
I’m 33 and I’m not going to lie, I use to be that girl who played mind games and I ended up attracting toxic and almost cost me my life
Same here and people still think that mess is cute. I remember coming across a “real” man years ago and tried those mind games with him. He politely left my butt alone and I couldn’t do nothing but respect him for it. Real men don’t waste their time with mind games. Then I grew up, gave my life to Christ, and said never again.
@@christinawhitfield1720 right same here. I’m not the same person I use to be but it seems like it’s men liked the old me. Not only I was playing mind games but I was toxic and crazy , the jealous girl and some dudes be liking that and I don’t understand
@@Afrocreolebombshelle they like it because they are men who carry that toxic spirit in them. They are undelivered men, meaning they haven’t given themselves over to Christ yet. If and when they do, all that changes. That spirit in them is trying to bring that old toxic spirit back out of you and don’t let it.
Those mind games and lighting the gas is costly.
That’s why I love my husband of 17 years bc he played no games and I wasn’t about to either
Men absolutely Don't like boring women. Single and celibate more than 2.5 years...and dating is crap. But this shawty jumping through too much hoops like cirque de soleil.
She said “positive toxic” like the two could even go together 😂😂…there’s no such thing sis! Mind games get old and guess what…dare I say it?? “Boringgggg” too. At some point it’s time to grow up.
Exactly that's what the dictionary calls " counter intuitive"..... people are just playing with words nowadays and trying to validate them, that's like me someone say, " I'm broke/rich"😂
@@darkgable3991 right!!
So we are just supposed to lie and keep lying???? This is horrible advise for any and every relationship.
Well...thats all the female and males do in hell. Cosplay as being real, both sniggle and lie. Then rush to cry louder than the other. All day.
Everybody wants to be the toxic one. It makes them feel like they are powerful and important when they have control over your life and emotions. A lot and the majority of pll are like that. It’s like a tit for tat or get back game it’s sick.
In reality she's not really doing any of those things so then what happens when he realizes that you really have nothing going for yourself? I just think it's funny how y'all think men are stupid. They know you. One day you'll have to be your real self everyday.
Emphasis on “everyday”. It’s only so much running and hiding a person can do.
Society for decades have pushed the " men are dumb, cave man, low intelligence" narrative to the point, where women in her age group really think, "Human with penis=low intelligence".....smh
Brother in Christ, I PRAISE THE LORD JESUS CHRIST for my wife. I'm so glad to not be single and be married to a real woman of God.
These dating streets are horrific. Let my "boring", stable self enjoy the married life...and stay FAR from the toxic.
It’s interesting a lot Women in the comment section feel men love toxic Women. I must be in the minority then 🤔. I don’t like women who play mind games it’s a massive turn off for me. I don’t like chasing women either and value reciprocity.
Hell would not have been created had men actually had morals and standards. So many men truly believe smashing and passing doesn't have consequences. Both kinds of individuals have spiritual guides. All of that comes back around.
I agree with the not being so available. Women should have things going for themselves other than your man, but not intentionally canceling dates or doing petty stuff. You should have self-care. Times you workout and go for walks in nature. So you’re not only focused on him. The message was wrong cause she was intentionally being petty, but don’t be too available
I wonder how her game playing is working out for her….??? 🤔
True, it's the men who start playing mind games first... If you find yourself with a person who plays games... WALK AWAY! NOT WORTH THE PAIN...
I don't understand mind games like that 😕 why do I have to think about all of this with somebody who's supposed to love me? It's just weird 😭
“Boring” men make the best husbands. Dedicated to their family, loyal and supportive to their wife and kids. These men have no desire for Chicken Heads, Thots, and 304’s. Good for him….
I have family members and friends that tell me me “I need to stop being so vulnerable” and that mentally F’s me up. I’m considered “boring” but I do activities that are not that common and my family tells me everything this girl is saying in the video. I’m 33 I don’t have time for mine games. The sad thing is when you have family tel you this, you think it’s the right thing because it comes from them.
It sucks. It’s sad that this has become so normalized that not playing games is considered strange or the wrong thing. It’s absolutely insane.
Yes i sucks but don't come off too vulnerable to men too early don't tell them much about the negative things about their past.
@@thewordsmith5440 absolutely! I learned that from my past vulnerable things were weaponized against me. But at least shumake a page has its own little community
I speak for myself when I say mind games messed me up in the head mentally and I'm still trynna get over the girls from high school who acted interested and then made a joke of me. what human being would want to keep trying to date or mess with women but my mom and dad were like av you ain't messing with women you messing with immature girls but I'm 20 now and honesty in my perspective ain't shit changing dog so honestly to protect my mind and peace and health Ima opt out. and fr fr I'm an introvert and Ima be honest I was lead astray by the Red Pill shit I thought that it was the key but man so many dudes I know are on that shit vs when I was 14 vs now im 20 and I look back I go damm that shit is mad corny crazy how the good dude is looked at as corny but the toxic dude is cool society and ppl morals are so gone well not really but majority ppl are gone so guys and ladies, if somebody is playing games with you, keep in mind your time mental and health isn't worth it I used to mess with this girl in high school bro was my type looked like a girl outta the 90s so after a while we talk and talk vibe laugh bro next thing you know once she knew she had me the toxic stuff came and it's crazy cuz my parents warned me about manipulative women like her whole time I'm like Nah some girls ain't like that bro 🤦🏿♂️aint no worst feeling to think somebody likes you connects with you then to find out they were playing you the whole time or to the be the backup plan just so they can save their own ass I speak for the ppl who've been hurt like this man and women I pray y'all find some peace cuz I know how traumatic that can be makes you get to a certain point in life where the hope is just gone.
I’m glad you’re protecting your peace now & I’m sorry you went through that but as a 23 year old girl who literally would have never guessed a young guy would be even listening to Shamake due to how society is today I love to see it! Keep doing you! The right one gone come into your life when God ready for that to happen!
I hate that happened to you as much as I hate when men do that to women. All this one-upping is crazy. Nobody has time for that.
Sorry you went through that💗
@@cocopuff2852 Thanks. The thing is how we learn from how people treat us.
I’m sorry that happened to you, but never let what others did change who you are inside. I have been hurt a lot, but I remain loving, faithful, and kind. I am more selective about who I let into my space and I really protect my peace. God has something for you. Just be patient and be open to it.
The thing about social media is that anybody can use their platform to advise others on anything. I would love to know if this works for her 😏
Good point. A lot of times people like her don’t have a man or are doing the opposite. It’s the nature of the game 😒
She sound crazy 😜 and possibly the man may think she is cheating
No maam. Shes giving horrible advice and would probably swoop in and steal a guy that was with a woman doing these things.
I love men that know what he wants. I am the same way as a woman.
I never played these games with men when i was single because i never wanted men playing games with me. To me that stupid
Chile, all that sounds like a whole lot of work I'm just not willing to do 😩😂 it's a difference between ACTUALLY being unavailable at times and INTENTIONALLY doing things and making stuff up to seem like your unavailable. Because if the tables were turned and a man was doing that to me, I'mma end up uninterested and moving on.
people who play games honestly got too much time on they hands , the energy you using to play games on someone can be put towards something more productive. The women/men that think this is okay need a mental check it’s childish. Y’all to big to be out here acting like teenagers like be fr and this is coming from a 21 yr old woman.
She was on a dating show a few years back called READY TO LOVE on OWN.
I thought she looked and sounded familiar! 😂
I don’t think anyone chose her right?
What City?
@@erind2261 DC
@@erind2261 Washington DC
She's projecting harder than a movie theater, SMH.
😂 im sorry but that sounds exhausting.
If being yourself and a decent human being ain't enough to hold him, he ain't worth holding. Life is too d*mn short. We got travelin to do, money to make, and lives to live.
Why we makin simple things complicated?
She sounds like she got that advice from that guy from the UA-cam channel mindful attraction
Why I understand not wanting to make yourself too available to any man, I do not see the need for these games. Make time for yourself, simple. You do not have to do everything with a man or woman, personal time and space is essential to a healthy you
I’m five minutes into the video… I’m not sure if Shumake or someone below already said it, but the problem with her logic is while you’re being “unavailable“ The only type of men that would be attracted to that foolishness will be going around trying to talk to other girls, probably get what he want out of you eventually *ahem ahem* and then move on from you. He said it best you’re not gonna attract a good guy with that kind of shenanigans. She has the most backwards logic I’ve ever heard of in my life. Not to mention, it’s an old tactic/mindset, it’s not unheard of.
I'm so glad I serve a big God so when I do meet my future husband I don't have to play "positive toxic" games. 😂
Yes, have a life that's fulfilling so you're not draining to your man, but games are for people whose intentions are to play.
When you are dating the person who is potentially your kingdom spouse, you should want to show up as the highest version of yourself, show respect and add peace to their life, not turmoil. If that's the one, you should endeavor to treat them in a way that shows God you can be trusted with such a sacred relationship. And if they're not the one, why would you wanna potentially cause lingering trauma to your brother/sister in Christ?
Ask God for wisdom and you won't have to play childish games.
...that lady is weird. Getting a hobby would fix the "boring" thing.
She childish bruh😂😂
Exactly!
Its the simple things a man does for me that makes me feel secure in the relationship. I wouldn't take her advice. I need certain things to be routine from the man I am doing life with. JS
Harmony, peace and order is boring for people who loves chaos.
There is peace and harmony if everything is in order.
Glad to hear that serious men don't need all of that
Many people who have accumulated lots of wealth have taken risks. They were smart and thought about the risks, but still had enough confidence and faith in themselves to take the risks.
Don't confuse peace and safety with boring. No one wants to be bored by their partner. But they do want to have someone who will be their safe place, who they can rely on, who they can trust. That's not boring.
That advice is good for only psychopath women...and those are the dream girls in my high school (quite literally, if a good looking girl is not crazy and soulless, she's dismissed just like me, while the psycho women are always desired). It has always been that way and cruel soulless women are especially desirable to the boys in my high school. That has always been my experience throughout my teens and 20s, and continues in my 30s, and is the reason why I never dated. I refuse to date some guy who settled for me while his dream girl is a psychopath socialite who sleeps around with the entire city. Hence why I would rather not have a guy who has too much dating experience. If he does, then that's a red flag, because that means he is the kind of guy who goes for that kind of woman.
Great point.
Smart! Most people don't know what a good man is or what a good relationship is.
This one is talking about men without focus or are confused .
Do that shit with men that have something going on for them that dont want some unneccesary stress and you would be surprised by what you would be left with .
I say this all the time. Nobody wants to play mind games just to secure a man. Be yourself, stop listening to snakes. If he doesn’t like you for who you are then its not meant to be.
She has it wrong. Real men don't like positive toxicity. That is a total turnoff. Maybe if you are dealing with a toxic male, maybe he likes toxicity. It seems like people are self-sabotaging their relationships.
Exactly and its unfortunate the devil is using these women to poison young innocent womens minds into thinking thats healthy advise. I was one of these women who fell for this foolishness and I instantly regreted it
She had no idea what she was talking about. I actually got a headache.
You can the type of guys that got scarred by women like this… you can’t even tell them when you’re really at work and have them believe you.
And vice versa
All factual I just cut off a potential for playing mental games. Warned him twice third time I’m 👻
When people are “boring” it’s stable. Period. When it’s crazy, toxic, mind games all day trust it’s an immature relationship that will not last
Facts
This is toxic and women like this is not going to find a health relationship. Stay away from them fellas they only good for
Hooking up with .
Yes, hook up with her, accidentally get her pregnant and then complain about child support. Your advice is also horrible.
@@tiffnym how is my advice horrible?? I told guys to stay away from them.
I play mind games but not on purpose I just get bored of men and start drifting off.
Regardless of what gender you are, playing mindgames is wildly childish and being petty is not a flex. It's never acceptable to play with a person's mental health.EVER.It's cowardly and self- sabotaging. All in a bid to not get hurt. Meanwhile, you may have just lost a real one🤷🏾♀️
This is called dark psychology for a reason. It's manipulation through deceit. It will likely not end well. Especially if the man is of quality and is a continual learner. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. I see women do this alot and end up losing the good man and pairing up in a toxic relationship they regret for a number of reasons. Abuse, cheating and lost years. Karma is real. One of my favorite recent sayings, "the seeds we plant grow into the consequences we have to face." But they all think they are the exception to the rule and they can flip a switch and have what they want whenever they want. Sad reality is that isn't the case. You don't get many swings at bat for a good man. Worst even is that when they reject a man of God, they are directly rejecting God Himself. You don't reject God, wave your hand and have it your way when you're ready. He will remind you that you rejected His gift in foolishness.
Some women like toxic men because he has her confused
Emotionally mature people aren't into mind games and will notice that kind of childish behavior. You're right.
When you're busy or just want time for yourself, that's one thing and that's fine. But there's no need to play the whole "unavailable" game, i've seen a lot of both men and women teaching this message and it's unhealthy if you are someone who's looking for a serious relationship or marriage.
She sounds silly. Like a character. Hopefully no one buys this foolery.
Men respect women who have a life outside them and understand that the woman is not always available not because she’s playing games but because she has a schedule smh this lady makes it hard for women who are sometimes busy because they work and have hobbies but do make time to date
Ewwe! I’d rather be single than take her foolish advice.
if i can sit with anyone on this planet and just be quiet i would be happy.
A good man is Godly and so he walks in truth and wants those around him to do the same 💪🏽
positive toxic. It's over. I quit. Positive toxic. All of these rules that were created by women are hurting men.
🛑! Her daddy could be there physically, but his psyche is absent.
This is so sad I pray for her healing and deliverance
I wanna be whatever Savannah James and Michelle Obama are.
I am genuine, at times may do "boring" stuff, but my fiancee loves and likes ME. He's right, good men who are serious are looking for the real you, no games, they want good communication. I am learning to communicate better ..be an adult not a kid. Don't lie. Men are looking for the real YOU.
All of this game-playing between the two genders is dizzying!
It sounds tiring doing all this.
These young women are getting worse! If a young lady come around my son and nephews playing these games, l am going to hurt her feelings, and theirs too. Life is too precious for these games, and there is too much that has to be accomplished, and playing games is going to hinder them.
I'm sorry, but she's right. Men do not like predictable mentally stable women. Do you know how many times I've been told that I'm boring because I don't want to fight, or put up with drama? I've never known a man personally or a potential romantic partner that didn't want a damsel in distress or borderline personality disordered mental case.
You’re not the problem. It’s those type of men who are. And every man is not like that.
Any woman or man that does this, GOD will not blessed. I’m not playing games with the LORD or my marriage.
Yes we do need a good well grounded man.
😂, women don't mind this girl, she going to get you put to the back of the line with these mental games, ..... Ok you buzz, let's see what Tanya's doing 😂
Shumake ... I generally like your commentary ... BUT you're Married!!!! And the MAJORITY (not ALL) of dudes ... Operate like this ... she's 1000% right ... REAL Men ... you don't have too ... but the majority of guys ... this is what you have to do ... to diffuse their Faulty programming 🤨
She spoke facts! Based on my experience and those of many other Ladies I know, this is very true.
HOWEVER, there are men who are exceptions! They've also had experiences that have built a certain maturity in them and they know what to truly value in relationships. There are also those men who are led by the Spirit and not their hunting instincts and are truly committed in building a fulfilling relationship.
You just have to watch and pray so God will direct you to the right one.
The thing is she has a point. Ironically, I am usually busy with not a lot of time for dating and the men who like me still constantly try to pursue me. It gets annoying sometimes. But it’s like they have a mission to get me regardless if I’m available or not.
If you create an interesting, vibrant, and fulfilling life, you will never have to make up fake scenarios and play these types of games.
If you fill your life with meaning, pursue your goals, and find a purpose, you will never have time for such sillyness.
Like they say, play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
Sorry to say but I think she's right. Been a good woman, available, not a gold digger, Good character will get you played everytime...something I've noticed, they like toxic and unavailable women
A good man to me is a guy who's Smart, Well- groomed, Respect himself, Ambitious, knows how to Control his anger & has strong values. Great video..!! Your videos are teachable 🙂🙂