Stop Avoiding Your Healing Work (Attachment Injuries and Trauma)
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- Опубліковано 7 гру 2017
- Hello. Thanks for checking out my UA-cam channel.
In my videos, I like to talk about Psychology, Healing Attachment Trauma, Relationship Repair, Inner Child Self-Re-Parenting, Love Addiction, Codependency, Grieving Break Ups, Family Programming, Fantasy Relationships, The Romantic Narrative, Primal Panic, Trauma Bonding, Double-Binds, Attachment Styles, Couples Counseling, Better Boundaries, Shame and Self-love, CPTSD Breakthroughs, Emotional Availability, and Body-Focused Psychotherapy for Healing Trauma..
☑️ Heal Your Relationships = #relationships
☑️ Trust Your Intuition = #selfcare
☑️ Repair w/ Counseling = #psychology
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Alan Robarge, LPC, Licensed Professional Counselor,
Attachment-Focused, Trauma-Informed,
Psychotherapist and Relationship Educator
Emotional Connections Matter!
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Stop Avoiding Your Healing Work (Attachment Injuries and Trauma)
In this video, I talk about how do people change and what are some obstacles that get in the way of change. I talk about what gets in the way of beginning, committing, of creating focus and allowing ourselves to change.
Questions to answer in the comments section:
What is one thing you learned from listening to this video?
What is one takeaway you can apply to your personal healing process?
Remember to leave a comment. What is your takeaway from this video?
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☑️ Take The Four Attachment Distress Responses Quiz:
www.alanrobarge.com/adrquiz
☑️ Learn about The Four Attachment Distress Responses Course: www.healingattachmenttrauma.c...
☑️ Learn about Improve Your Relationships Community:
www.alanrobarge.com/community
☑️ Learn about Grieving and Pet Loss Course: Coming Soon
www.healingattachmenttrauma.c...
☑️ Learn about Healing Heartbreak Course: Coming Soon
☑️ Learn about my new book: Coming Soon
☑️ Follow me on Instagram:
@alan_robarge_psychotherapist
/ alan_robarge_psychothe...
☑️ Check out my website:
www.alanrobarge.com
☑️ Want to learn more about relationships? Then, sign up for the Everyday Relating Questionnaire.
www.alanrobarge.com/everydayr...
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Stop Avoiding Your Healing Work (Attachment Injuries and Trauma) - Навчання та стиль
Hello Subscribers:
Thank you for checking out my videos and posting such thoughtful comments. It's inspiring to read your self-reflections and insights. I love how we grow from each other's sharing.
One thing I have learned after years of reading comments is that we are not alone. Many of us have the same experiences when it comes to relationships. We are all trying to make sense of attachment trauma and learn better skills of relating.
Great job everyone - keep going and keep learning!
As I'm sure you can understand, I'm not able to respond to all the comments and questions here on UA-cam. I know this can be disappointing sometimes. Please forgive me. It is challenging to find the time for the careful consideration that is needed in order to respond to your heartfelt reflections. Even so, your vulnerability shines through.
I know behind each comment is a real person with real feelings who's hurting or who’s reporting a triumph. I know you are doing the best you can while trying to make sense of life’s suffering. We are all grappling with what it means to be human. I’m sorry that I’m not always able to respond to your comments directly.
That being said, I'm sharing this post to offer you a few resources in an attempt for us to stay connected. Keep in mind that I do read most comments here on UA-cam. Your words are received. I review comments daily, which serves as a way to organize content for future videos.
If you have a question or an idea for a video that you think is important to explore when it comes to learning about relationships and healing attachment trauma, then I want to hear about it. Please submit your questions and ideas here: www.alanrobarge.com/questions
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Many of us want to know how to heal, how to change, how to be more secure in our relationships. This is why I created the course The Four Attachment Distress Responses.
Many of our behaviors in relationships are habitual - meaning we act out of autopilot. Our autopilot Response comes from past conditioning of negative experiences. When attachment injuries go unaddressed, we become insecure in our relationships.
The Four Attachment Distress Responses Course describes each specific type of guardedness, which is how we try to protect ourselves from getting hurt again, while also attempting to get our attachment needs met.
While we cannot change the past, we can change how we respond in the moment and in the future. This course offers you insights and tools as new ways to respond in your relationships. The Four Responses are Poking, Running, Hiding, and Submitting. You’re invited to take the quiz to learn more about your Response.
Take The Four Attachment Distress Responses Quiz: www.alanrobarge.com/adrquiz
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I created an 8-week program and membership community based on the guiding principle of Self-Directed Healing Work #selfhealers that I want to share with you. The community is called Improve Your Relationships. The focus is about healing attachment injuries in the context of relationship repair in all areas of our lives.
When we look at the big picture of how attachment injuries and attachment trauma occurred in our lives, we are able to begin seeing our relationship choices from a whole new perspective. We gain access to inner resources that shift how we relate and respond to old hurts. It's a process. It's layered. It requires commitment. This is what the community is all about - committing to your healing work.
You are invited to join us. The community members are kind and supportive. We are an established group. The feedback and testimonials have been overwhelmingly positive.
Please check out the link for more information: www.alanrobarge.com/community
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Also, in addition to checking out my course and/or joining us in the Community, please consider becoming a Sustaining Supporter by making a financial contribution.
Your contribution helps guarantee continued quality and accessible content. If you benefit from my videos and want to show your support for the value offered, then please make a donation: www.alanrobarge.com/donate
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Thank you for being a channel subscriber and watching my videos.
And remember, we invest in our healing work because “Emotional Connections Matter!”
Best regards,
Alan Robarge
Attachment-Focused Psychotherapist
www.alanrobarge.com/
"What is the path you're taking as you're running to seek out the pond?"
#DivineTruth
Hi Alan
I am wondering if I could get private online consultations with you?
Thanks Fereshta
after spending time in the 'get back with your ex!' section of youtube all of your videos feel like a very necessary red pill. thank you
that's such a crazy section and surprisingly huge!
ⲙⲓⲭⲁⲏⲗ thank you for all your help
Spent months and months and months going over the “get your ex back” then finalized realized the crushing truth that it is over. Now I’m here to try and self heal myself.
LOL
@@dansolo360 ❤
I thank you for these videos. They are tools
Seldomly taught. We are taught just to " get over it and move on" yet have no tools on exactly how to do this. Going to a therapist and just rehashing the story does nothing for healing and moving toward a new positive life.
That is challenging messaging, isn't it? Expectations sometimes create confusion because of the reason you mention - not knowing the tools. You have good awareness. Good for you valuing learning.
"Around the block of suffering a few times".....heck, I m president of the homeowners' association.
When the student is ready the teacher appears. Thank GOODNESS I'm finally ready! This video is so SPOT ON for me. Is the membership community still going? It's almost 2 years ago that this video was posted.
I threw myself out the window as an abused child then reinforced further dissociation by joining a religoius cult as a young adult. I just left and now its my time to heal.
I hope you are thriving. 🤗
Green Wings Me too. Was it Jehovah’s Witnesses?
Did the same THING
Roll up your sleeves and heal!
@@Angrymobs62 they are not a cult.. best thing I ever became a part of!!!
That sounds INTENSE. Hope you are doing well.
I just can't believe this human being... Alan.. is putting so much work, passion and effort FOR FREE to motivate ME.
I can't thank you enough
Glad to hear this content is of benefit for you. Nice to hear you are feeling motivated and inspired from it. Thank you for your feedback and valuing my work.
Please consider making a contribution to support the continuation of this content by joining us as a member in the Community Program, Improve Your Relationships www.alanrobarge.com/community This is the type of content we explore in the community.
Beautiful!!!! Finally someone really passionate about healing and has a real structure. I love it
Yes
Prople csnt change wothout a paradigm shift in the view of themselves, their willingness to accept responsibility for their own choices - after becoming aware of how they view the world and themselves.
The starting point has to be a refusal to continue using the same strategies to get what they want
Well said. Im autistic so i cling to repetative behaviors and now have to chose new and create healthier ways of being.
Head in the sand method
Alan. You are so touching. You deserve a soulmate that values you like gold. You are one of the most emotionally intelligent people I have ever seen. You may just be the leader and that is why you are definitely more alone.
Yes
Is he single?
"Seek an end to family dysfunction." If only. I can't change my sick family; I can only change myself. Even with my own recovery, dealing with those still in bondage to family dysfunction can be extremely difficult.
Low contact and set boundaries. That's what I did with my dysfunctional family.
Linda Harrison I live with my dysfunctional family and can't seem to leave this situation.. It's horribly hard! My body aches
Yes, you can only change yourself. But I believe (I'm not a specialist) that we live in society, our relationships with others are two-way streets. Your action produces a reaction. Of course, you can do great and others will be on their "greatness". Yes, you can be best and others can treat you bad. But it's a great chance that you can make this less impactful.
@@bulletsfordinner8307 Why you live with them? Do you have to? Money issue? Health issue? Maybe you can find something very cheap somewhere? Maybe you can live with someone old for helping them?
Changing and healing yourself is ending the family dysfunction.
It’s hard to heal in the place you got sick where daily you are reminded of your traumas trapped in the physical environment for which they occurred.
Healing requires safety. Even if that safety is in your heart and you have a safe self talk.
Scire yes
I started with trying to face unhealthy things I had done, then that brought me to shame versus guilt. The shame brought me to my inner child feeling shamed. That brought me to feeling neglect. That brought me to understanding that the things I want from other people are the things I need to give myself. That brought me to acknowledging why I am too afraid to give those things to myself. And that brought me to the root, which was surviving something I and my inner child never, ever wanted to have to face again.
So right now I am working on solidifying my relationship with my inner child and letting them know that I care about them so that we can together have the strength to face what we are so afraid of.
Thank you for the meaningful comment and for sharing your reflections. You sound self-aware.
“Do - or do not. There is no try.” - Yoda
I watch these casually, I did extreme recovery work after the birth of my first child in the 1990s. This is a fantastic support. If you haven't done the work, you should. You are worth it every second of it
Thank you for valuing my material. I’m glad this one resonates with you. If the information I offer is of benefit, then consider joining us in the membership community, Improve Your Relationships. We are a group of kind, supportive learners who want to make sense of our past relationships and learn new skills of better relating. In the community we can talk about emotional availability, secure attachment, boundaries, finding the right kind of partner for us, and learning how to say goodbye when necessary. A new recurring round of our 8-week program begins this week. You're invited to join us. www.alanrobarge.com/community
You have helped me save my life! I could never imagine finding this kind of support and guidance from a youtube channel but here it is... And here you are. Thank you Alan!
100percent
Same here. He did what no other therapist did for me live
Alan and his metaphorical hair gave me my first laugh today. Cant say my mind was thinking about his lack of hair til he said it. Thanks for uplifting me today Alan.xxxx
Susan Pearce me too! That was awesome.
😄
Hi everyone. I liked Allan's idea about receiving reinforcement or finding a sense of community as our healing doesn't happen in a vacuum. This week will mark the sixth anniversary of my mom passing away. She passed away on Feb 2 2013. I belief I may have never resolved my grief correctly or internalized some unresolved guilt. Hopefully this comment will get a few likes as I work on dealing with my unresolved issues and some compulsions that have resulted. My plan is to work on this grief daily through journaling and whichever grief exercises I can find online during a long commute home.
John Gallagher good luck John. I’m sure it won’t be easy but try your best to pull through and fix what’s broken.
Plpppoopooppppppoooooooo oopppp
I love this summary at 9:35 🙏
I listened to it a few times
"Healing with is a viable, concrete, identifiable form of focusing ones life. Assigning meaning to where you need to grow and then cultivating that meaning. And you do this through ritual, you do this through therapeutic intervention, you do this through creativity, through community, through rewiring your brain, and you do this through grief work.
Grieving not only what happened, but also what didn't happen in your life."
glad that part spoke to you. thanks for valuing my work.
I think you are just fabulous! I am so impressed with the way you explain things... I have listened to many people try to explain these things, but you are definitely the best that I have found. I can't thank you enough for the time and energy you put into your videos. You are helping multitudes of people heal and become who they were meant to be. From my heart, thank you SO much!
Yes
Your authentic passion as you talk to us about this is already so helpful. I feel like my hair is on fire and I’m running like hell, but ponds are drying up as I finally approach them. Regardless, I have no choice but to keep running and urgently seeking anyway. It’s either that or stop and settle into a life that makes my skin crawl just thinking about it. Nope. If I die before I find that elusive pond, so be it. I will still keep looking. I have been sick of this for decades.
Yes. That time will go by anyway.
Yes
Sitting here in tears, I thank you for your time, knowledge, and passion. Feel lucky to have found this. 🙏❤️❤️
Thank you for your kind comment. I'm so glad to hear this video spoke to you. Thank you for valuing my work. If you'd like to learn how to engage more or support the continuation of my videos check out the options below:
Take The Four Attachment Distress Responses Quiz
www.alanrobarge.com/adrquiz
Check out the Community, Improve Your Relationships
www.alanrobarge.com/community
Make a direct donation
www.alanrobarge.com/donate
Thanks again.
Alan “and because ... I give a shit.” So felt! So much love and gratitude for you and your work Alan ❤️
Can you imagine how many times I have watched this video since it has been uploaded? Several times, for similar but different reasons and it changes my life every single time. I am just 6 minutes through and my mindset has alreasy started to shift into the right direction... Thank you, Alan. You know, for some of us who live in other parts of the world (or of course even in the US), it's a bit hard to afford paid help. So, I'll plead with you that if you have time and the desire in your heart, please keep posting some free content in your channel. It is helping humanity. Much love to you and thank you for all the free videos you have posted.
Oh that's great you keep returning to this video. Glad it's helpful. Thanks for the kind words.
This is harsh. But it worked. Created my plan. Thank you Alan. It was a compassionate slap on the face.
Can you share your plan?
The way you have approached conveying this to us is just great. Alan Robarge = Alan Robust!! Your passion is SO inspiring. Thank you!
I love the idea of the 30 day commitment to changing one concrete thing, and being mutually accountable to a friend. Very useful.
Thanks for caring.
After my breakup in 2013 I did no healing work and introspection whatsoever. This carried over when I got into a relationship in 2014 and it ended spectacularly this year. Having failed to address my issues before meeting my now ex was a recipe for disaster. I had not learned. So here I am. On my own again with diagnosed depression, worried for my future and belief that I'll be alone forever. I'm terrified and desperate to tell my ex how much I miss her after no contact since July. It's so tough and not what I wanted.
General Waste, I understand. You are not alone. Many of us can relate. Getting support from others who are learning as well is very helpful for many people. That is one of the reasons I created the Improve your Relationships online community. It is not a therapy group, but a skills learning community which many people find very helpful as an adjunct to therapy. I am glad that you are doing your healing work and find this material helpful on your journey. Consider joining in the conversation. You are not alone. www.alanrobarge.com/community
I have filled 10-12 notebooks of various hurtful scenarios in my life, thank you Alan for your help.
I've been slowly barbecuing myself for years... I have a funny image now of going through family events, awful holidays & meals with my exes & putting up with dreadful lodgers, all with my hair on fire! Maybe having some humour about it all will help me find a step towards my pond great metaphor! Thanks ☺️
I took away this important dynamic as Alan explained it: being ignored by attachment wounders gets integrated into ignoring oneself. Excellent insight and I think it's true. Thank you for that.
Brent, good reflection. Yes, we learn to ignore ourselves because of that history of being ignored. Glad to hear this video spoke to you. If you'd like to learn how to engage more or support the continuation of my videos check out the options below:
Take The Four Attachment Distress Responses Quiz
www.alanrobarge.com/adrquiz
Check out the Community, Improve Your Relationships
www.alanrobarge.com/community
Make a direct donation
www.alanrobarge.com/donate
Thanks again for letting me know the video was helpful.
Thank you. You are a wonderful person.
You might have put this video out seven years ago but so far every video I’ve watched of yours within the last week has really helped me deal with this horrible situation I’ve found myself in.
You have convinced me. I've been doing my healing work for quite some time but having a structure and commitment could make a real change. What scares me though is the fact that it's not just my hair but my whole life is on fire.
Anna Bis me too!
LOVE YOUR PASSION for this topic and your desire to provide useful, meaningful content. Thank you for telling it like it is and not trying to fill your presentation with egocentric babble. You are very talented at clearly communicating the complexity of trauma and how it effects the many areas of our lives and our relationships.
Thanks for all you do! This is information is so important and I wish it was more available. We were caught in this for years, and couldn’t figure out what it was. Unfortunately, it reached the point that my husband literally “jumped out the window” as you said. (Yes. I mean LITERALLY). I wish with all my heart, we could’ve found this information years ago. It explains everything, and could’ve saved his life. I am braced to pick up these pieces for myself, and run to the pond of healing. Keep sharing and inspiring! Your work is so needed in this world!! Thank you!
This is super helpful seek all these things, but most importantly seek the Lord. Was the #1 thing that truly started breaking me free from all these things.
I love you man.... Such a relief to hear the truth... 💥
thanks for the feedback. Since you like this video, please tag a friend and/or share it with others. Help me spread the word.
I AM not trying, Alan, I am doing. Meditating 2-3
a day. No news/no TV. Spiritual music and journaling or release prayers or just prayers and sleep. I just filled out the form on your website. I was my matrix rewired. I want the remaining years on this planet to be in peace
I love your sense of urgency, because it is all so true. It is doing the work that we keep avoiding, and that is the only thing that will actually create real change. Thinking about it forever can last forever.
I came across this video and your “not good enough video” at the precise point in time that I needed it. I have been looking in the proverbial mirror to fix what is broken. I needed to hear someone articulate what’s behind the difficulties I’ve been having. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your insight and work. My heart and soul appreciate it immensely! ❤️
I've set healthy boundaries for myself with a few family members. I cannot do the drama, rejection and chaos it brings. It's hard because I've accepted this pattern for so long. I am done with the crazy making and deserve love and respect. I'm not going to continue dancing with the devil and wonder why I'm still in hell. This is a daily agenda for me.
I'm in the same spot
Same here, with friends and family.
me too
You are the best speaker I have listened to since I have been searching. Hitting home!
So incredibly true - John Bradshaw refers to it as "an imprint in our mind" - these cyclical dysfunctional patterns. It's not until it gets healed and worked out that you can move on with your life. Until the healing occurs, the bad patterns continue to repeat. Great videos!
I thank the universe for your guidance!
You save lives. You saved mine. Thank you for this generous helping of hope. The work is a very real struggle. But you provide the anchor of belief within the self that if I'm willing to stay with the struggle, relief and peace is really possible. I can have it, too. I really appreciate you
I’ve never heard anything/ anyone break things down so on point! I was lead to this for a reason! I love your delivery! You inspire me to actually run to my pond! You have helped with my self care and self love. Thank You Sir!
Rudyrose, yes run to your pond! I'm glad to hear this video was inspiring. If the information I offer is of benefit, then consider joining us in the membership community, Improve Your Relationships. We are a group of kind, supportive learners who want to make sense of our past relationships and learn new skills of better relating. There are other folks that have hair on fire seeking their pond. Always better working through challenging stuff together. You’re invited to join us. Here is a link for more info: www.alanrobarge.com/community
Also, since you like this video you may want to check out The Attachment Distress quiz to find out your response to relationship stress. Relationships make more sense when we understand Attachment Distress: www.alanrobarge.com/adrquiz
Appreciate your comment.
This showed up in my email and I’m glad I took the time to listen to it. I listened to the whole thing! Love you for caring so much to help the rest of us out. I never find your videos devoid of compassion. It makes potentially challenging messages so much easier for me to process and learn from. Thank you!
Wow!!!!! You are speaking to ME!!!! YOU ARE WAKING ME UP!!
Alan you are a blessing to a lot of us. More power to you. I’m sending you all the love and positive vibes. Keep it up. We need your encouragement. Always be encourage yourself. ❤️
This is Jennifer Sinclair. Alan never met my mother but this WHOLE VIDEO IS EXACTLY ABOUT MY MOTHER!!! My mother and I have had therapy for years with no going forward!!!!!!! I have begged her to do the work and have volunteered to do EVERYTHING to help make it happen. She still won't. I love love love Alan Robarge. ALAN ROBARGE FOR PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES! That is who I am voting for!
World changing stuff, on many different levels! Exciting stuff , bless you!
I feel blessed this is just what I needed tonight. Been doing so well and chose to go back into the fire for the past week I love your passion here sitting down with my notepad and a tea ready to get stuck in
I'm writing as I listen. I needed your tone right now. It is forceful but it's a loving forcefulness.
Thanks for your feedback. Glad to hear this content is of benefit for you. If you are not subscribed to the channel, please do. Also let your friends know about this video. Thanks.
I love these videos and l love the subtle humor - making it all the more interesting and real. Thank you so much from the SLAA community
I love this guy honestly, you’re more than a brother you have become my family.
So glad I stumbled across your channel. This is just what I need to hear.
Glad this content is helpful for you. Thank you for the feedback. Since you like this video, please tag a friend and/or share it with others. Help me spread the word.
I have suffered from this throughout my life. I've been programmed in the way you describe. I also wear wigs. I always go for "Fiery reds" lol. Now I know why!
Im so happy I found you Alan. You say the things I needed to hear, things I KNOW but I was ignoring. You challenge me and my current methods of healing and I couldn't have found you at a better time. I realize that Ive been cheating myself of a holistic healing process by continuing to focus on blaming the person who caused the hurt...which is just an excuse to be lazy and do half assed work on myself (self-trickery at it's best!). Often what you say is hard to hear and to swallow and I am so very grateful for that, it's like your words bitch slapped me back into reality and i really needed that. This life-long journey is not easy, it's hard work and I recognize and accept that however I needed the firm yet gentle nudge that you provide as a reminder. Keep up the amazing work Alan and if I ever see you you'd better brace yourself for one helluva hug :)
Yes you were ahead of the curve here , people need people:). You have created something wonderful here !
Yes to people need people! Thanks again for encouragement.
"Sometimes awakening is like your hair is on fire." 😂🤣🤣
Absolutely! I am a burning woman.
Love your content. I enjoy that you've not jumped on the narcissist are evil train. I find it distracting from trying to improve how I navigate life.
On a completely unrelated side note you remind me of a young James Spader
Wow. Your approach in explaining the guts of this issue is amazing. Thank you
"My metaphorical wig is on fire"!! You're the funniest psychotherapist I've ever seen on UA-cam. I have a therapist that I see regularly and she's not as fun and funny as you. You are highly intelligent and talented and I loved the funny twist that you put on your messages. Keep providing great content because I'm listening and it definitely applies to the relationship I'm in with my fiance. He's slightly emotionally detaxhed and it's hard for me to understand him.Thank you; you're the best. 💜
Thank you for valuing my content. Good to know the videos and posts are helpful. I am glad you benefit from the effort and time investment it takes to offer quality content. Please consider joining us in the membership community to show your support and/or becoming a sustaining supporter with a donation. Making a contribution supports the continuation of more quality content. FYI/ www.alanrobarge.com/community and/or www.alanrobarge.com/donate
Omg I so needed to hear this right now!!! Thank you!
The metaphor is perfect. We need to remember that each time we set ourselves on fire; thank you for this.
I love your approach. I love the way you communicate. So intelligent, compassionate and rational. You are a gift.
I love it when your head is 'on fire' lol ... thanks for putting more of a fire under my butt to jumpstart me & keep me accountable!
I found this so structured and helpful. It was also very motivating. Thank you so much for your passion and clarity in communicating. You are really impacting lives positively!
Thank you for valuing my content. Good to know the videos and posts are helpful. I am glad you benefit from the effort and time investment it takes to offer quality content. Please consider joining us in the membership community to show your support and/or becoming a sustaining supporter with a donation. Making a contribution supports the continuation of more quality content. FYI/ www.alanrobarge.com/community and/or www.alanrobarge.com/donate
I would like to take a moment to thank you as you are the first person who I truly feel like has something of meaning to say. You have helped me a lot in the short time since I have discovered you... You resonate deeply with me, and I thank you for your service. much love and gratitude ~ Crystal
Thank you for doing these videos! Finally someone who is like minded. I love your "hair on fire" metaphor. So many people need this information!
Im so glad i found your video. You are allowing me to understand my patterns so clearly. Grateful for you :l
I don't know how you are so on point every time. This is very relevant content.
I suffered chronic abuse from my mother as a small boy, I spent days on end living in an abandoned dog house in our back yard. It's given me problems in all my romantic relationships over the years. For some reason, I instinctively interpret intimate relationships as dangerous and life threatening and often times will just become withdrawn and clammed up on my insides, frozen in terror, even when their seems to be no present threat
Your story brings up empathy. I'm sorry about what you went through. I can see this video sparked some reflection for you. Thanks for commenting.
You have good insights. I wonder if reflecting like this is helpful. These are the kind of insights that unfold in conversations in the Improve Your Relationships Community Program.
You're welcome to join us:
www.alanrobarge.com/community
I like the energy...
it's lively and forceful which is alerting..
Some of us do need that awakening ...that sense of urgency...
Thanks. Glad you like this video.
We explore the "how" of healing in the Community Program, Improve Your Relationships. The Community is over 6 years old with many long time members.
The solution to healing attachment injuries is to do our healing work. There is not a simple, quick-fix answer. An Emotional, Relational, Developmental approach is dynamic and has many chapters depending on our individual needs.
The areas of focus we explore in the Community are Attachment Trauma, Emotional Attunement, Family Patterns, Boundaries and Sense-of-Self, Shame and Self-Worth, Longing and Loneliness, Reality Distortion, Grieving and Grieving Skills.
These are the areas that inform the design of the Community's Weekly Discussion Topics and Activities.
Practicing these skills is essential to learning new behaviors and having new experiences. Getting support from others who are learning as well is very helpful for many people.
You are invited to join other like-minded learners who value mapping out their Personal Healing Process Planners and want to share their good insights with others. We are a kind, supportive group of folks committed to changing old patterns of relating.
Please consider joining the conversation. www.alanrobarge.com/community
I just listened to the first 8 minutes. This is so powerful, passionate, and accurate. It feels like that 25 years of growth work you mentioned condensed into this succinct description. I’m going to stop and think about this, maybe watch it over a few times. I’m familiar with everything you’re saying, and so appreciative of your words.
So grateful to your videos, I’ve been going through a difficult time mentally and you’ve helped me so much
I needed to hear this! Thank you Alan.
I LOVE YOUR PASSION AND YOUR AMPED UP VERBIAGE AND ENERGY!!!!!
I very much appreciate the depth, breadth and tone in which you deliver the message of personal transformation, growth and healing.
I am engaged in a multi skill set integration process taking a stand for myself as a cycle breaker becoming a safe space with mature boundaries and containment skill practicing being in the gap and the gain… learning to respect, adore and protect my inner child as well as integrating feelings that come up in the context of IFS, parts, female embodied polarity and somatic healing.
I am so grateful for your influence and astute observations that also contribute to my conscious awakening.
You are so we'll spoken! Thank you so much for your videos :)
Thank you for truly diving deep into this specific issue, feels like you’re speaking directly to me. Love
Glad to hear this one spoke to you. Thanks for valuing my work. Since you found this topic helpful, then you may want to consider joining the Improve Your Relationships Community. The foundation of it is built from Self-Directed Healing, which dovetails right off from the video. Members are encouraged to take charge and create their own healing plans with the focus they want. Come check it out: www.alanrobarge.com/community
I just found you at a crucial time. I cannot express just how much I am learning and how challenging but capable I feel listening to this. Thank you so very much.
Thank you for valuing my material. I'm so glad to hear this video resonated with you. You might also be interested in learning more about The Four Attachment Distress Responses, and the quiz I created is a great introduction to this topic. Here is the link: www.alanrobarge.com/adrquiz
Your videos are changing my life for the better. So thankful.
This is so specific. Could there really be a group of people this like minded? It feels like you're speaking to my whole way of thinking.
Your so smart. You have worked it all out xx
You hit every single issue. You are an absolute blessing. “Truth is an offense, but never a sin...”. Thank you for your work.
Happy Lindsay, Thank you for valuing my material. I’m glad this one resonates with you. If the information I offer is of benefit, then consider joining us in the membership community, Improve Your Relationships. We are a group of kind, supportive learners who want to make sense of our past relationships and learn new skills of better relating. You’re invited to join us. Here is a link for more info: www.alanrobarge.com/community
I've just run off the love of my life. I found you. You gave me an answer to why I am the way that I am. thank you for making this video.
thank you for this video, your words are rolling around in my brain, I feel dead on my inside, a few years ago I had everything in life I ever wanted, but all of it is gone, all is lost, and sense then I've just felt completely lost, and so many people along the way have tried to define my path, it's a complete waste of their time, and if im in the mood I'll go along to get along, just pretend to want what they want but its all false and fake. I do feel frozen and stuck, I'm spinning my wheels per say, I have no interest in anything except traveling the world by adventure bike, or sailing the world on a sail boat
Thank you millions Mr Robarge for creating this extremely valuable, honest, genuine and witty video! I adore your direct style ;-) This is my first video of yours and I already feel so motivated! your time and passion are much appreciated. All the best to you.
Maria, So glad this speaks to you. I created an 8-week program of self-directed healing work to put healing attachment injuries in the context of relationship repair in all areas of our lives. When we look big picture at how attachment injuries and attachment trauma got set up on our lives we are able to begin to see attachment work from a new perspective. We also gain access to inner resources that shift our relationship to it. It's a process. It's layered. It requires commitment. If this is something that interests you, you are welcome to join us. The community members are kind and supportive. www.alanrobarge.com/community
I needed to hear this! Thank you so much!
I remember getting so frustrated with being confused about stuff that I ended up shaving my hair off. It was a massive relief.
Thanks for sharing. Sounds like many of us can relate with that.
This is the most honest video i have heard on youtube regarding the path of healing. Thank you for this man. I appreciate where you said no one else can define our path. I was looking for ways to get to myself and this just slapped me out of my seeking guidance identity where i felt like a child. Thank you for your work. Not many will point us back to ourselves. Thats really caring. Cant thank you enough
I appreciate the feedback. Thank you for sharing this video was helpful for you and thanks for valuing my effort.
I remember when this was mentioned in the Community Program, Improve Your Relationships. The conversation was similar to your comment. Take the quiz to learn more about the Community. www.healingattachmenttrauma.com/iyr_quiz_2
this is such a valuable video. JUST DO IT. demolish the old, broken, leaking, useless house, build a new one. yes, it's a lot of work and an architectural design is needed. build a new house. dont rebuild your old one. Jesus called it being born again. and he said many, the multitude, are called but few , only 3, Peter, James, john, entered his inner circle. never quit. never give up. become better, become good, become loving
I LOVE your ‘hair on fire’ metaphor! 😂🤣
Going through this now - must have listened to your videos on a loop a hundred times in the past few days - they are spot on!
Incredible info. This is gonna heal so many!
Thanks for the honesty and dedication. Your videos have helped me a lot.
There's something significant in the "trying" cycle block .... it's obviously much deeper than simply 'making a decision to commit (and schedule)' to doing the work. I've been at this for decades, really committed, program after program after book after workshop after retreat ... yes, I've made some surface progress, but .... when the rubber hits the road in a surprise assault/conflict ... clearly there's been no real change at all. I've spent this last year in a whole new level of despair. Commitment of any kind is literally impossible. Just waiting for something to shift. Will likely die waiting.
Hope you’re doing better with everything