Dating Games: The perfect response to bad behavior
Вставка
- Опубліковано 21 сер 2024
- Learn the art of mastering the perfect response to any form of bad behavior when dating. Here’s how to find your unique style to effectively correct and reroute your partner.
Work with me: susanwinter.ne...
The Dating Games Guide: You know you're being played, but what's the game?
And what's your countermove?
Not to worry. I’ve got you covered: susanwinter.re...
The Older Women | Younger Men Dating Guide:
Dating a younger man and wondering if it will last?
Attracted to an older woman and not sure how to make your move?
Answers to all your age gap questions: susanwinter.re...
Rough breakup?
Check out: Breakup Triage; The Cure for Heartache
Audible: www.audible.com...
Amazon: www.amazon.com...
Wondering how to benefit from life's challenges?
Allowing Magnificence; Living the Expanded Version of Your Life
www.amazon.com...
A new dating partner started acting a little game-y, after a couple weeks of carefree, easy flirtation. This change came very suddenly, with zero warning. I considered letting it go or even blocking him preemptively to save my ego, but ended up calmly and respectfully asking him for clarification. I'm so glad I did because as it turns out, he was simply unconscious about the shift in his behavior, and is just as interested as I am in spending more time together.
Splendid. Mastering one's temper is for sure an art
Absolutely1
@@SusanWinter I love this message in the video💜♀️💮
@@theemperor2017 thank you
Nice one Susan but I'm not sure you're response had him showing up later because he felt badly about his rudeness. I think it was more intrigue and self interest as to how the night would end up after you'd 'confessed' your original intentions. I think your brilliant response would have been even better if after telling him you'd wished him well and politely hung up without telling him where you were going.
Lesley Lawrence Agree! Would have preferred not letting him know where she was going to be. Let him live with the images he could have had.
and what happened I would also like to know , it's killing me to know lol did he pursue her for the night and did she walk away from him or what ???
@@veronicav1779 that would be even better lol
It's about taking the power back
Yeah I really don’t get the moral of this story? You actually met up with him and his buddies and a dodgy club? This is really bad form and bad advice...
I always make it on time for my date, and if I know I'm going to be late, I let her know via text or call. Either way my date would always be my number 1 priority, everything else doesn't matter. Some guys don't think things through and just rush things, which leads to them to making mistakes along the way because they don't have the patience to plan things out correctly.
Oh Ninja- X3. We need to have you cloned!!!!! YOU'RE BEHAVIOR IS EXEMPLARY. Thanks for the share.
Susan Winter Thanks :) & you're welcome.
When you do it to mentally spank the person, or to achieve the relationship with him - it's game. When you do it out of being genuine and of an urge to express yourself - it's just a healthy behavior - no matter his response.
You didn't correct any behavior. Just motivated him to meet you for sex. I doubt he felt bad for standing you up. My way is to not respond (or answer when they call).
Avcodad her point was that she WANTED to stick it to him.
Everyone has their way..one isn't better than the other. This can work in some cases so I wouldn't rule it out. Nor answering doesn't always work.to.make the guy feel bad either.
Work? I think she was just jabbing him. Not to get a boyfriend. To screw with his mind because he was flaky.
I totally agree.
She took control of the situation :)
I think a fair move would have been to give him a fake address to a ‘secret vip party’ miles away from city center and block his number.
""Remember people have that behaviour they've played this game over and over again and they've seen every one of those stock responses. They can slip out of that in a conversation or something they say because they've practiced it over and over again. What you experienced from them is not unique." you're a witch, Susan. I wonder why I didn't see your videos before, those mainstream ones don't have that much insight. I do love your work. Thank you.
Merve, thank you!!
Susan is such a player :D I love these stories
You are such a great storyteller! Could watch you for hours!
I 💖 it!! 👏🏾😆. I tried ithat approach once. They just said they were sorry & could we meet, but I just told them I had other plans now & hung 📞☎️ up. Won't get to try it again cuz I have taken myself out of the dating loop altogether. Still a great story.
Gave him more effort than he deserved. Why let him think you would want anything to do with him.
A brilliant kick-ass response. I chuckled imagining this guy's mouth agape on the other end of the line.
Hey Kelly. I'm getting a laugh out of this myself just reading your statement. Thanks for the humorous reminder.
Love it. I had recently a bad history with a guy I met online. Because he brought sex subject in the conversation early on I was reluctant to meet him and postponed our date. I had another phone call and a relaxed conversation, but we didn t fixed another date. After 2 days he sent me an ugly message telling I had an ugly character. I wanted to call but he had already blocked my number. I sent him a message through the account of the dating site, wishing him all the best and thanking for revealing his true colors so quickly. I received another message from him telling me I am weird and I d better start looking for a stupid guy, a stupid like me. I replied that talking to him made me realized that a stupid guy is not a good match for me. That was all. I felt no joy and I want to learn more about handling bad behaviours in dating.
Best advice: Don't look for online partnership.
There's many creepy perverts online that are soley seeking sex. Casual is mediocrity. It's for disposable people. Low hanging fruit. A great response when they act inappropriately is. Go practice that on the low hanging fruit. I'm a sovereign woman that doesn't need to listen to that rhetoric. You've set a boundary and given them a spanking. Then block.
Men will test a woman's boundaries. They are biologically wired to chase sex. Dating has become hookup culture.
So much energy spent on someone who disrespected you. You should have just blocked him and forgot about him. Blocking someone is a clear message. Self respect is self love. No energy on people who disrespect you.
You should write romance novels.
Yasmin, that's a great idea. I'v never done fiction, only non-fiction. But life is alway offering new opportunities and new directions.
@@SusanWinter I second this.
Oh my gosh, so hilarious!! And, brilliant. I've been watching your videos for nearly a month, and love them. Lots to learn from you. Thank you!
Her response to him is soooo great haha I love this!! I only wish I had the courage 🤣🤭
Good for you!!! Yes, we Brits of a certain age were raised to be ultra polite. As we mature, we tend to have a wider array of options and confidence.
As a Sagittarius...I would have loved a response like yours Susan. It intrigues the hec outta me when a woman does the unexpected like that. And yes, it doesn't hurt when they lay down the rules of engagement.
Btw, Susan, there is a girl who I need advice with. She's been giving me the cold shoulder pretending I'm a ghost. How does a guy confront this when she's usually around friends and convey. From who she use to be, she's withdrawn into her own little shell. But I know a shell only protects what is soft on the inside, and out of fear of what others might think she withdraws the best she knows how. However, in a cold manner while doing it. Suggestions would be appreciated
I had a similar, but a bit different situation. Similar only in that I felt stood up or ghosted in a way and wondered how I would handle it if he ever contacted me again.
We were platonic friends years ago and reconnected through Facebook and we still have some mutual acquaintances. We started talking A LOT on the phone, but hadn't seen each other yet as we live about 3 hours away from each other now. I let him do most of the contacting me and he was - most every day - for a good few months! We of course, talked about seeing each other in person at some point too. Again, nothing too heavy, but I was starting to develop some feelings, or at least thoughts that while I may have overlooked him in the past as a potential romantic interest, now I might reconsider that.
When after 3 months of talking, he simply disappeared. I waited about a week and sent a text saying I hope all was well and if he simply decided he rather not continue reconnecting or changed his mind or whatever, that I wish he would've just been honest. He never wrote back! 🤔Ok.... so I didn't contact him again either. (I know better than to chase someone who clearly doesn't want to talk to me!)
Well two months later, I got a text. He apologized for ghosting me, and said I had ssid something in one of our last conversations that "hurt his feelings" and he wrote that although he knew he should've talked to me about it, he wrote he was afraid he'd "say the wrong words". Whatever that means. Most likely he didn't want to get into an argument I guess. He also wrote that he missed talking with me 🙄
I took a couple days to think about it and I made my choice as to how to respond. One choice of course was to ignore him, but thats whst he had done to me when I reached out so I wasn't going to do that, meaning I wasn't going to be passive-aggressive like him with the silent treatment so I decided to write back two words. Those two words were: "Got it". -- Thats it. Just "Got it". I was simply acknowledging that I received his text.
That was two weeks ago now and I've (again) not heard from him. Its so easy in texting to screw things up and misunderstand and be misunderstood, but one GREAT thing about texting is we CAN write back a simple two word thought like "Got it" which doesn't beg further explanation on my part. Its harder in an actual conversation to just say "Got it" without continuing to talk or e plain or get sucked into a debate.
I figure if I'm important to him, he will contact me again and ask for a phone conversation. If I'm not that important to him and he doesn't contact me again, then he doesn't. 🤷♀️ I don't chase men (or really anyone in my personal life, and thats one of my main standards and mantras). Roughly two weeks since I sent that text and I still feel good about it. Showing respect for him at least by answering his text explanation for the original ghosting on his part, while also showing I'm not yelling at him or putting much effort into him anymore I think was smart - I'm trying to convey I'm not desperate and therefore I don't put up with games and BS. Now whether or not he takes it like that, who knows (??) But my dignity is intact.
Oh my goodness. I love this SOOOO much!! You made this part of dating fun...standing up for yourself in a unique way. Thank you! :)
Your response was pure genius!!!
Thanks!
Not sure if this response taught this guy anything but that was so funny to hear!
This is really well said. At the time, it's SO hard to know how to deal with bad behaviour, since you're meeting the person for the first (Or second) time and one doesn't have the track record to know if this is an aberration or the norm and thus we tend to give them the benefit of the doubt. Which could also then send the signal 'Oh, it's okay to act like this...' PS: Someone standing you up... Hard to imagine ;)
Correct. However, if it's a real offense we have to speak up (somehow). Finding our own voice is the task at hand. Thanks for your comment, Artisankat Studios.
I'm pretty sure you are my hero....now if you could just help me go through with that second date....sending love, susan
Love this LittlePoet. And yes, let's get you through that second date. If you had to correct them (and you're now seeing them for a second time) they will be a different version of themselves. Best wishes!
Hi Susan I came across your videos last night and so glad I did! I'm at a crossroads. I'm 25 and my ex just turned 30. We were together for 3 years. He ended things abruptly but immediately regretted it. I found out I was pregnant but had a miscarriage at 8 weeks. He drank and I cried and grieved. We never got back together. He texted me 10 paragraphs of that it eats him up inside he wasn't there for me more. This was in August. I have not seen him since our first ultrasound. He would text me he and there but I was too angry still and grieving. Now I can't picture life with anyone else. Guys ask me out all the time but my heart isn't in it. My ex started flirting with me by text two weeks ago. He told me I'm one of a kind, that I'm beautiful in for so many reasons in so many ways... And things started getting sexual. But then he one night I said something pretty sexual and he didn't respond. So I confronted and asked what he thought. He answered with "I've never been good at this flirting thing lol. To be honest I didn't know what to say, not in a bad way just that we go from barley talking to this". "I guess what I'm just try to say is it's kinda fast...idk" so I said your right it was too much I promise to never text anything like that again have a nice night I'm going out bc I was. He said ok have fun I'm staying in playing video games. Since then Friday I've not texted him and he hasn't texted me. I'm not sure how to go about this. Every Time I mention moving on he freaks out and texts me more. I would like to maybe get food with him or a movie but I would like him to be chasing me. He can have self esteem issues too. Just last week he told me he's gained enough weight for the both of us bc I told him I've been exercising. Any advice appreciated!!
Also when I didn't hear from him for a week I emailed him and said point blank if talking to me no longer means anything to you then just give me my shirt back and I will move on and he emailed back the next morning saying he's so sorry he's been very busy with work and very sidetracked and swore he replied to my text. Then gave me a compliment and said he hopes I had a nice thanksgiving
I love your videos and perfect timing as I need to do this as a response to bad behaviour. I'm British and living in the USA and my cultural mannerism are not helping my dating life. You are my new Shero. I definitely need to be more assertive and confident whilst dating in the USA. Thank you! your videos will help me to date in the states.
Dear Paulette Myers! We LOVE our Brits. And the singular hurdle for you in the US is our lack of social protocol. Not all people, of course. Not those viewers on my channel. But enough to make everyone's dating life confusing and frustrating. There are unmannered people here who weren't raised in the British system of civil interaction, polite manners and diplomacy. But now, it's an individual cultivation. You need to speak up, be direct, and stop worrying about how "they" feel. Your homework: The Monologue. For 1week straight I want your sole focus to be stating your feelings directly and without apology. Not to worry. You're inherently polite. You'll automatically be diplomatic. Write me and tell me your findings. Cheers!!
Hi Susan, I took your advice and started being more direct. Initially, when was I was direct I did wonder how the other person felt. As you rightly said, we are inherently polite so it didn't come off abrasive and rude which was my fear. Again, thanks for your advice and I will continue on the path of being more assertive mixed with politeness and social decorum. I have told all my friends about your videos. Its so refreshing to see how your charisma, eloquence and attractiveness show real feminine power as opposed to the over-sexualised images we see in social media. I have felt the social pressure to dumb myself to fit in with others. However, your videos confirmed to me that it is ok to be a renaissance woman. Thanks again!
Paulette, thank you for your amazing commentary! I'm thrilled to read what you've just stated. It's a real skill to be diplomatic, polite and assertive. And I mean 'assertive' in the sense of being direct. It's a complete liberation when one understands the proper way of expressing oneself to feel empowered, honest and truthful...yet all the time taking the other person's sensitivity into account. Thank you again for your awesome note! Great to have you in my UA-cam family.
@@SusanWinter so all British ppl are polite? Lol lol anyone can lack social skills, Americans don't have less than others in that area. Lots of rude British ppl who think in the gutter.
Thank you very much Susan. I always learn from you! 🐝
Hi Mireille. Thank you for this comment. Know that it's appreciated.
Wow. When i started watching your videos I really wasn't expecting to get real and useful advice as you give. Because youtubers have a promising title but that is all, no quality information to share . So I am surprised that you're catchy titles are in conformity with the information given. And I love your energy, your passion and knowledge of psychology of people. And I am naturally focused on what you say , it's like you are sharing a story with me personally. Very charismatic you are. I subscribed. Thank you so much
Perfect, divine timing!! I am laughing at how this was brought up on my videos.
I will be thinking tonight of my perfect script and acting it out tomorw at work
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!!!
U are not only wonderful but a character w/ a terrific outlook and a hilarious sense of humor.
My ? is did you end up doing all the naughty things you imagined you would or were you still strong enough to resist even after a few drinks and he "showed up acting completely different"?
Sending So much love to you~😘❤️💋
Thank you Whispering Wind!
Yes! Thank you Susan!!! This was AWESOME!!! Your creative approach inspires me!!
That is FANTASTIC Susan...HILARIOUS and so unique & unexpected and ORIGINAL! WOW. Awesome SPIN. No crazy, neediness, lectures or weakness -- Just true power :-D!!
Oh wow I love this!!! This is so freaking brilliant!! Well done Susan!
Can you make a video on what to do if he comes back after pulling away? Or if he pulls away do you give him x amount of time and then contact him? Or do you you just wait for him to come back? If/when he comes back do you just go back to how you were?
I don't want to punish him because I understand his perspective, I really like this guy, it's VERY early days in the process of getting to a relationship, he's pulled away a few days after an intense whole day date (his request) where he introduced me to his brother and confided some big things to me.
I'm not reacting to him pulling back, I know he's been through a lot in his last relationship and I want I'm to have his space and time, I also want him to be happy, I'm not the stressing out 'omg I don't want him to walk away' type of girl, I need my space too. I guess I just need reassurance that I'm doing the right thing!
Excellent ideas. I've written down your question.
Lady J b
She is a QUEEN
You're brilliant and funny!
I'm glad you like these Vera.
OMG, I LOVE THIS!! 😂😂 Susan, you are from now on my idol!💖💖
Wonderful and gorgeous as always Susan. I learn a lot from you. God bless you.
Thanks Ishtar
I love this story. Susan, you are amazing!
My girlfriend always tells me " it's not always about you" when I express myself. It seems its never about me. Bad behavior?
Good point, but not a case of bad behavior. Just miscommunication. She thinks she's the one listening to your needs, but you're not tuned into hers.
You explained how to handle a beginner of situations with a new twist!!
BRAVO! #wordstoliveby💯
Thank you Miriam!!
Awesome approach and great story Susan!
Thank you for reminding me that I used to have game. I needed that. Fantastic and fun!
This is SO MAJOR!!! Wowzers!! I am using this and will report back !! 😆💜
That was PHENOMENAL!!!!♥️👍🏽😘
THANKS GILLIAN!!
I still feel like you were trying to win over the guy with the hyper sexual response. The bigger thing to do is walk away.
Slee D I disagree. Walking away was a given. But a mental spanking was needed-if not, he’d continue this behavior with others. Now, he’ll think twice.
She wasn't trying to "win him over"...she was letting him know all the fun he missed out on for being a dick who stood her up!! LOL!!!
@@deplorabledixie2834 exactly!
Guy strung me then rejected me. I set up a fake online dating out and bait him, we chatted for a while led him on then dropped the bomb on him. It was priceless.😂
But he still got to see you. He shouldnt get the right after. Its still rewarded. I love the idea... but Id want to hang up and make him always wish hed have not been a jerk. Lol
You're amazing Susan. Thank you!
Hi Bianca. Thank you!!
I absolutely loved this! Amazing!! 😍👏🙌
hahaha I Loved this video, you always learn alot from you,You should also do sketches I know they will be very hilarious and very educational.
That's a terrific idea. Thanks for this, Tamala's Husband.
Your welcome Susan
Oh nooooo ! Now I want to know if he showed up later!! 😂😂
LOL I love that! To find something unique and fun at the same time!
Girl, you got moxie! I think you're fantastic, Susan. Thanks for doing you. ♥️
That is absolutely brilliant!!!
Thank you so much and so very true. I've been way to indirect out of fear of being rude and pushy. I will follow your directions and let you know how I get on. Thank you!
Since it's MY MOVIE, why not be vindictive 😊
Why would you give him an opportunity to meet you again after he already displayed a red flag?
Love your story:) amazing inspiration
Thank you!
I told my ex I will take him out on his B-day tomorrow, I'll meet him at his place. He says ok honey🥰. Next day I texted him and to say happy B-day honey and see you before 5pm when I got to his place. He left to party with his friends without inviting me. He says go home honey and he didn't know I will come to see him cause he didn't check my message. I was so piss off😬I told him that I was stuck on traffic and hungry and can we get together. He keeps telling me to go home, will not see me tonight and he will make it up next day.
I said honey I am sorry I will move on life and good bye! It hurt my feeling then I blocked his number. (3 months relationship.)
I think if the guy loves you. He will do thing to make you happy.
Suberb! I have thought about responses others give and nothing has worked for me when it comes to that! Finding your own way is the best!
Susan, you are a Queen 👑
Susan ! I adore you ! LOVE THIS.
Thank you Susan
Take your feets in your hands and run as far away as possible. No contact. Narc 🚨 alarm ⏰
I would be like - would have been fun to spend time with you but I ve made other plans with my friend
This was brilliant I laughed so hard 😂
Love it!!!!
Stephanie Swann THANK YOU!!😊
Your great Susan, love the videos x
Oh Susan you are awesome!💥✨
We're sitting across from each other he sees me on the app and likes me and we are at that time "a match". I tell my friend we she asked about him and I the total truth. Last night after he finally asked me for my number I asked him what he and my friend were and he says he isn't sure yet. He also went on to say he wasn't even sure if he wanted anything serious. My inclination is to drop the whole thing. What are your thoughts?
I love your storytime :)
Sure would be nice to have more american.women in the world like you. I listen to a lot of experts..lots of boilerplate nonsense. You are extraordinary. The difference is that little extra.
Solimán David William Torres oh my goodness-- thank you!! Beautiful words, and greatly appreciated.
SUSAN IS LITERALLY THE COOLEST WOMAN ON THE PLANET!!!! (AND SUCH A GOOD PERSON TOO!!)
Hello Ms. Susan Winter! It's been awhile since I've visited your channel... I must say, I picked a really good video to come back to. I wanted to thank you again for all of your advice & help. You've helped me tremendously! In all sincerity, you must admit the guy does have good taste! He also deserved a Susan Slap- Down, LoL! Have yourself a wonderful Easter😎
Thanks for your supportive comments, Cash Taylor. Great to see you here on my channel. Glad you liked this one! Wishing you a terrific week.
He show up a bit different cause of a reward
I'm so going to try this!
Excellent. I wish you great success, Michelle.
Wowwwwww!!! This is the most brilliant info I've ever gotten on this subject! Go Susan!!! 👍😂😍💜🎉😘😘
This is incredible
Love it. Perfect!
brilliant!!!!
Thanks Anna!
Hahaha Susan you are brilliant!!!
Ha. Funny! I will use this approach in business as well.
2019...in the house!❤ And this methodology was absolutely amazing. I have learn so much from you it's like reading a book of love just better because I can actually see and hear the language out loud and feel the honesty and vibes coming from you Ms Susan Winters. Your very profound and I love it. Great Life coach. God bless you. 🙏
I love this!
lol that was brillant Susan ;)
Hi Julie. I"m so pleased you think so. Thank you!!
thats Casanova! haha
How did i stumble across you Ms Susan Winter @0530 ?! Your advice is FABULOUS and spot onml
I got stood up by a guy I met online. I wasn't that interested but it still bothered me because he'd seemed so decent. So I sent him a message telling him in a polite way that if he wasn't interested in meeting up he needn't have asked me out. It was impolite. He wrote back saying he was interested but so busy at work. Whatever. Never wrote back and I feel good about telling him off in a gracious way.
Love this!
Great vid
good on u Susan!
Such a bad ass! I love your videos, you are the queen!
You really are the queen of class, clever, and diplomacy.
Bad behaviour indeed someone folks are stuck in the past. I usually listen to apologies and let go. Some men are stubborn ..true talk about finding ur own method.
Nice one Susan!
Great video! Your book title should be "Getting off the game board" . Thank you!
I need help:
Cutting story short: guy from work gave me a ride told me "likes me" . Second time around in his car we kissed. But he seem like he didnt want to go further.
I found out a bit later that he had kissedanother girl from work, but she now has a bf. Anyways I was furious because I felt played and disrespected. I being a phycho confronted him. Cutting to now we dont speak but he does speak to other girls at work except for me. I feel like I should move on but I really enjoyed his company and to see him flirting with other girls at work infuriates me. What do I do?
Thank you😀
Hi Susan, thank you for your guidance and fantastic mentoring! Your videos has meant a lot to me, and for my current relationship. This is a relationship question/encouragement for a new video, beyond the dating phase:
What if you experience a behaviour that goes against your values, beliefs and principles? -you love the person so much and you want to be there for them and give them the response that honours the love by both of you, but at the same time you are hurt by what they did and said. It is a situation that is way outside of what you have seen as “normal” in the relationship before. Insecurity starts to rise, but both of you want to solve it, because both belive truly deep down in the relationship. Is there a video on this, or could you make one?
Having in mind that this is when love have been lived for some time and you feel it is a “perfect/soul mate” otherwise. It’s just this one experience you don’t know how to respond to and turn it into something positive - and fear it might come back in another face/way. You have both invested a lot emotionally and in life for this, and leaving is not a step you want to take. How do you deal with relationship insecurity caused by an event like this?
I look forward to your heart warm guidance and respons, Susan. Thank you.
Hi Christian. Thank you for the kind words! As for you concern-I suggest you both see a marriage or couples counselor. A problem such as you've stated should be addressed in therapy where you both have a voice and an independent advisor. Best wishes!!
Thank you Susan for your advice and time for answering my question - I really appriciate it! All the best to you!!