She is the only one who is right all relationships coaches will ask to do the chasing and play hard to get .. playing games destroys relationship especially long term relation ships
It’s difficult for me trying to find balance of trying not to look needy and insecure or dominant, but also not wanting to be too insecure and holding back.
If the person you're talking to is sincere and likes you, they will make it known by their actions. If they aren't, then you have someone who is either playing games or who isn't into you. Probably playing games
Kelly Stone Agreed. I recently stopped dating someone because he only texted. There were other things that alerted me that something was off so I just couldn’t continue the dating process. I just couldn’t shake the icky feeling in my gut.
Susan Winter what about the balance.. if you met through friends already and then took an interest in learning more and potentially dating? What is the balance of him reaching out and me
Pertaining to what you say about men just not being as verbal and how a woman can send two or three sentences and maybe only get one-word responses - as far as I'm concerned, if he's not substantive, scintillating, conversational, expressive and communicative, what am I dating him for? Just sex? I love nothing more than a man who can TALK and a man who can form opinions and enrich me intellectually. It's a huge shame that they're few and far between, but I need someone conversationally rich.
Another amazing content video. You are unbelievably good. This texting thing... so tricky. We have to realize we are reading with our own intonation... not necessarily theirs.
Thaks for yor gracious commentary, Suzy. It's a new skillset we need to adopt and in which we need to become proficient. It's only dicey in new connections. After that point, it's fluid.
I had a new guy contact me yesterday and his responses were short and uninteresting. He wouldn't even acknowledge my inquiries, it felt like automated responses. I stopped and asked my self Why am I trying with this guy!? I'm trying to only give what I get and it saves a lot of time and annoyance..Thank you!
This goes for both men and women. As a guy I get bored AF with varying degrees of hi or hey. 🤣 Now it's even worse because 1/2 the women whose numbers I get respond to my initial text with "Picture please?". They hand out their numbers so often they don't even remember names or references to convos.
I just turned 48 and the man I was dating would only text me verses the phone. I discussed all the reasons for him to use the phone and his response was “it’s just easier because I’m always so busy.” He wasn’t budging so I ended the relationship. So important to make your standards known about texting because it can break up a good relationship.
Laura W I’m amazed that he let you walk away, and I’m amazed that he wouldn’t pick up the phone to save the relationship. Each partner has their “thing” of what they need.It may not make sense to us but considering how little effort it would have taken this man to salvage the relationship - - I’m astounded.
Hey, Susan! You look amazing in purple, you should wear it more often. Thank you for giving it to us straight. You're being real, talking about men getting a-hole points! I am 58 and not fond of texting so what I do in the beginning stages is ask if I can call him. I'd much rather hear his voice and get an idea of his tone and all that. Many jokes do not go well in texts. But...I remember back in the '90s, not hearing from a guy for DAYS and not worrying that much about it. Now if we go 24 hours without a text, we panic. Funny how things change, huh?
Gosh, I am 24 and happen to fall in love with a woman of 35. You made me understand the differences in women of that age and what they are looking for. So far, I have regular contact with her, as she is my neighbor haha, but yesterday I got her phone number. Things are working out for me and she knows that I like her on more than friendly levels. Slow pacing forward from now on I guess. It feels amazing.
There's one more detail regarding the person that's on the receiving end. Talking to a group of girls about the follow up text/call I have heard both "if he calls me the next day or so that is full on" and "if he doesn't call me the next day it tells me he's not interested" ... So in doing either, depending on the type of "animal", you may be in luck or not :)
I swear its the opposite for me. As a guy, I always feel like I'm the one putting effort in texting with some substance and depth. And the girls barely ask questions or have no substance with them. It's beyond infuriating.
@@SusanWinter Thank you Susan for the comment! I am really happy I found your work. It's clear and positive. As a guy, I don't like to play that "game", I'd rather be real and open about who I am. Thanks for all of your videos! Always looking forward to more!
Same thing happens with me too. And i refuse to play the "game" like yourself i am staying true to me! Eventualy i will find someone on the same wavelength
I have found an exception. My current date admits to being a poor texter but he also works insane hours, sometimes 6-7 days a week. In person, he is very lively and expressive, and we have too much to say to each other. I would gather that a lot of men are just not big on texting and even not much for the phone, if you hear it from the guys side...
CLAUDIA!! Thank you. I'm so happy you like this message, as you are indeed the first and last word on Texting. For those of you who saw this video, meet @ClaudiaCox of www.textweapon.com. She's the queen of all things Texting!
His opening line is always thoughtful. He does text me every day. But all the following messages mostly are one-liners. And this drives me nuts and make me feel dismissed. But in person, we have great conversations and always a blast. I am on the verge of ending things with him cuz these one-liners just make me feel crappy.
I personnally don't like texting..for exemple I text my best friends every couple of days or even once a week..I comunicate much better face to face. We should consider that we have all a different approach to technology.
I miss my younger days, pre-cell phones. People were FORCED to actually talk. I feel our social and verbal skills, collectively, are regressing. Sigh….
Excellent insight. Wish I had known this BEFORE I got interested in someone 15 years my junior LOL! Matching the amount of content is a big clue. Im a wordsmith and a writer so I overdo it a bit, but I was trying to impress a Gemini and it did not work ! I still agree with one of your instagram captions about technology being a great tool for logistics but NOT for developing a relationship. Lesson learned!
Cheryl you can't out fool a Gemini! I know because I am one! Wordsmith that's funny I was just called that not long ago by a younger lady I was dating... LOL
Waiting for a response for hours and being „anxious“ because of feeling like I’m chasing was damaging to me during my last relationship. Unfortunately I ended up causing a lot of problems that hurt him tremendously and we became insanely distanced to a point that he would text me with 7h gaps in between messages...I’ve never felt more anxious than while waiting for his response.
the problem with you girls, is that if we respond fast or well elaborated msj, you start to pull away, i dont know why, you want to chase, girls loves to chase, they love narcicist
@@Chiefab22 Ghosting means when a person suddenly cease all communication without any explanation for the withdrawal. This happens quite often especially with online dating.
Agreed, although you could hit like to their facebook posts or something small to let them know you are still thinking aobut them. I think too much too soon kills relationships, but you still want some minor reassurance.
I failed with the last girl because I wasn't reaching out enough. When I went back to work/driving id tell her so she didn't think i was just blowing her off. I had invited her over a few times and our schedules got in the way at times but then she blamed me for not understanding enough or being excited enough when she asked to come over. I did let her know I slowed down because everytime I asked she either turned it down or had friends/kid to hang out with. I made it clear my place was open and she could stay over whenever and since she had the bigger friend group and kid id let her tell me when she wanted to come over. Then it turned into wanting to text non stop or once an hour. My short texts had nothing to do with effort or interest, I just was busy or found it hard to text all day. I'd rather talk for an hour at night or preferably see someone in person. Sometimes my mind spins because the amount of available communication seems to have made us more anxious.
I'd say 90% of women on apps use "H" phrases- hi, hey, hello, how's your (fill in the blank). No real effort at all. It's sexy AF when a woman can be genuinely witty, flirty, and playful.
Thank you for saying this! I always send a brief text after a new date to say thank you. I do tend to try to "mirror" but tend to say too much. I do wish to get more phone time.
Susan! Please do a video about men sending too many selfies! What is going on? I don't need to see his face in a photo multiple times per day seven days a week! Thanks
It seems contradictory to your video on being full on. Being who you are, not holding back. So in my case I may send more texts and content. But, it's usually about providing info I think the person may be interested in (not sexual). If the person is responsive, then I may initiate an invitation. If they're not, I typically won't. But, as you said in the other video, the wrongs ones will fall to the wayside and the right one will be on the same page as you.
King of the Caribbean, thank you for this! I love reading comments they tell me I've somehow assisted you in your analysis of a confused partner or made you feel better.
Your welcome Susan Winter, you always help me out with your videos it's always nice to get advice from you. You know exactly what to say for any situation that's why I call you my love therapist your always right.
is any girl here who always initiates conversation? does that actually work? I am just curious: Do guys who are interested in you really wait for you to initiate a conversation? No matter how much/fast they reply.
Spoke to this girl i wanted to meet and get to know better for around 4 weeks, then she just disappeared haven't heard from her since, makes me not want to try anymore.
See I’ve just been told that I’m texting too much and that’s it’s overwhelming for her, but reality is I’m texting her to make sure she’s cool nothing else you know, we met and it was like insaneeee connections between us 3rd date we made some sweet loving, but now I think she’s scared of getting into something Deep because she don’t wanna get hurt again you know, when for me I reckon it would make me happy and also better within myself it’s a struggle all the mind games 😂 now she’s hardly texting me it’s madness
I'm courting a woman from Brazil. I text her good morning and good night everytime im not with her and she will text me right back. She has pulled away in the relationship this last week but still will text me. Am I overdoing it? Im just being me. I don't want to come off as needy. I was married to a woman who never said I love you back in a phone conversation. Now there is the invention of texting. I don't want to smother her. I've been in several relationships where I've been cheated on and dumped. She was cheated on in her marriage. I feel like she is holding back to protect herself from being hurt again. I don't want her to think im playing games at the same time i dont want her to think I'm needy. This crap is so difficult when you have so much negative past experiences. Its as if you psyche yourself out. Im being patient with her cause my last relationship moved way to fast and ended fast. Now im afraid im going to slow and turning her off.
Thank You Susan🎓Imo..I've Evolved To Not Expect or Feel Entittled ..Im Responsible for My Own Sense of Well Being ..So If That Person Wants To Respond-? They Will..I've Been Real ,Honest, and Not 'Emotionally Groppy'..So I Will Attract a Person Of an Intelligence That Already Gets That....So Therefore Dont Go Tryin To Get A Corvette if You Dont Have A a Licence To Think!..😀💛♐
Hello. Regards to online dating app. What would be the first text message to a girl that is effective that has a greater chance to have a reply. What I been doing is...1st I give a compliment, 2nd introduce my self by telling my name, 3rd ask her how she was doing? Then I wait for a reply... Because I will know if my match will read my message with a double check mark. If I see that and 1 day has past, should I move one or send a 2nd text message? So you say if I text my match with a paragraph and I get a 1 liner reply... then consider communicating with somebody else? How about if I text a paragraph and she replies with a paragraph but it's been a week. She still refuse to talk to me over the phone because texting is better especially if she was doing something. We are still communication through the dating up and she still delaying the idea of talking over the phone. What should I be doing? Thanks!
The one line message.... but everyday... i just read it and i think but what does expect me to answer ??? Question, answer, then ... aaah cool ¿? ... i m not texting more ... even if i like him....
wow. thank you for that I really appreciate it. I definitely agree with everything you said, and ive heard about the whole "good laugh at your expense" thing too sadly. if you are still interested after a man treats you badly what kind of reflection does it say about yourself?
@M Z yeah for sure. I wouldn't say im as interested in the guy as I once was, but it took me a while to remove myself from the situation. I think for a while I blamed myself, and made excuse for his actions which ,seemed very reasonable (the excuses), but at the end of the day he simply wasn't as interested in me as I was in him, and thats OK. I stopped directly giving him my attention abruptly (thanks to phones/technology) and haven't reached out at all since. it feels pretty good and ive been putting my love into my fiends & fam and keeping myself busy with work. I know im gonna see him around school next year, but this time I know that as much as he tries to put himself on a pedestal, I could literally care less because I know what his weaknesses are and despite ignoring him, I am not going to force him to face his reality, but rather sit back, let him be, and hopefully he will find himself for who he truly could be. thank you for your wise words, you really put some things into perspective that I felt like I already knew, but needed to see. I appreciate you:)
Susan I love this the guy I just met a few weeks ago him and I have been texting for hours and he does such a great job with it so I'm really hopeful to see what goes on later
I dont call. No matter what we do it will never be perfect. She accepts you or doesn't, move on. Relationships shouldn't be a science project. Supposed to be organic
Thanks for this perspective! I wonder what you think about a guy calling a woman first, rather than texting? I've heard it argued that a man picking up the phone and calling displays more confidence than texting. But it seems texting is more popular today. What would you and other women prefer as the first outreach method?
donavin51 call differentiates you from the rest; some women may be uncomfortable with it given it seems like an almost foreign concept. It doesn’t have to be a long drawn out call, I’m all for the old school method or what should be the norm but seems antiquated due to technology
I prefer calls, but it depends. If it’s a guy from a dating app, I’d rather message for a few days before talking...to look for any red flags. Calls are more effective than texts if trying to get to know someone.
donavin51 texting for younger demographic. Calling for mid to late 20s and above. Historically and culturally. I got a girls # from work and called first and we talked for a good 15 min just messing around. Second time I called her on her off day she was eating dinner but kept the conversation going, with her saying she'll be right back and called back like 5 min later. Forgot if it was in the first or second call or in the beginning or end of either but she said she preferred texting. She was 22, I was 26 at the time for a little bit of where we were coming from. I think a good etiquette would be text and when she responds then call. or if you want to be considerate ask right after if now is a good time to chat.
Relationships were so much better before the invention of smartphones. Really, because without texting, people were "forced" to call each other and meetup hence hearts got closer.
Don’t know if u have a video on this but why does a guy feel the need to stop trying after your in a relationship but when your not together they try and try . Also what if he’s already kind of seen that u have low confidence
I don't get it why would somebody get out of here and go back in the hill with their EX I just don't get it I'm old school I was taught by my grandmother you try to go back you sleep with a dog you going to wake up with fleas sorry not to everybody
I am a 23 year old guy and I am quite interested in my 44 year old friend. I don't know if she realizes how interested I am though.I initiate any contact that I can in person and also over text(she will aproach me in person tho) but I am only able to talk about what we have in common(running). I am the one who always texts first, but she is bad a texted really. Any tips on how to small talk and show interest via text for a 23 year old male to a 44 year old female without seeming pushy or needy?
Tyler Hamlin old women don't need that much attention. Unless she likes to chat on the phone or is super horny. Just meet once a week is enough. Text only 1-2x a week to check on/catch up and set a date that same text. If not possible have her dictate her availability back to you then work it out a time when she reaches back
Susan can you call the guy I thought was really great. He is playing the text waiting game and quite honestly I'm fed up now. He could be a really good one but he is too "manly" with his scarity text replies. He is missing out on a great match. Cos he knows his mother would like me. I need your help on this one. To add to the complexity he is in the army and it doesn't help with restricted access to phones at times with his job and I'm in a complete dilemma.
Than you Susan I have an issue with texting before the first date. I now have a rule: maximum 2 weeks, if he doesn’t ask to meet, I do. If he doesn’t respond immediatly, I delete him. I don’t buy bla bla I hope I m doing right
Honestly, I think that I have put all these pieces together. However, I managed to get the phone number of three different girls from a dating site that I am on, I played my cards very well, and after chatting to them for a while, I got each of them to agree to meet up with me. In each instance we agreed to go on a date in a few days time. It was during this period, that I wasn't sure if I should back off and give them some space, or occasionally check in on them. So in each instance, I chose to check in on them. I got a positive response from each of them. So, without crowding them too much, I would continue to send them the occasional text here and there. In each case, it seemed like they were slowly fading out. Then with each of the three girls, about a day before we had arranged to meet up, they would suddenly do a 180 on me, and say..."Sorry this isn't going to work". It's crushing when it happens just once, let alone three times in a row. I would love to know what I am doing wrong, and why...after having initially been so successful in my approach, I was unable to get them over the line, so to speak. Susan, if you have the time to offer me even a quick bit of advice, I would really appreciate it. Or if anyone else reading this would care to offer me some advice, I would appreciate that too! Thanks in advance.
Oh yeah!! Waited over five days for a responce back via text!!!! Nothing!!! Not playing games!! No excuses for rudeness!! Told him bye bye!! Now I got control and its empowering!! That Marc can play with his left hand!!!!
I love you, I love your videos, but I don't follow your advice. I don't text. I led her call. She calls when she wants to meet. She calls after two days.I play no game, I say yes I'm so happy, or just thought about you. I let her come and she comes. Today she came and I sayed I'm happy, that you missed me, I missed you too, I got a first Kiss. When she left I told her that I'll give her two sexuell wishes and asked if she yet knowes what it is and she said yes and went to work. Why I am that sure she will come?! I'm not counting minutes, I'm excided and happy. I enjoy the present, and looking forward to get someting more or less dirty. I real man is able to let a beautiful woman breath.
I wish ALL men would watch your videos! Please target your UA-cam, Facebook, and any other ads to Men! They desperately need you and they don't even realize it!!
Every time I get dating anxiety I watch your videos and instantly I feel my nervous system calms down. You’re are such a gift - thank you!
Same
"If you are the one over communicating, you may want to consider another partner". YES
Fact
She is the only one who is right all relationships coaches will ask to do the chasing and play hard to get .. playing games destroys relationship especially long term relation ships
So glad to see this opinion is out there. Starting off a relationship with manipulation? Really people? That's your advice?
"A real woman who is not playing games."
And where do you find one of those? Around here, people even in their 40s still act like teenagers!
I'm a real woman ☺️
Hahahhaa tell me about it xD
@@gilliansanderson4830 Real Man here 😂
Around where? I'm in my late 50s and I despise games. Don't get down on everyone because a few people do this stuff.
This is so true! It’s so easy to lose respect or attraction for a guy that, after showing a lot of interest on first date, starts playing hard to get.
It’s difficult for me trying to find balance of trying not to look needy and insecure or dominant, but also not wanting to be too insecure and holding back.
If the person you're talking to is sincere and likes you, they will make it known by their actions. If they aren't, then you have someone who is either playing games or who isn't into you. Probably playing games
The woman I'm with now we just say exactly how we feel straight out the gate, we both are crazy about eachother and aren't afraid to show it
And guys please do not only send text messages. Phone also.
Love it. Was about to do a video on that topic. Now you've reconfirmed that it's important information.
Kelly Stone Agreed. I recently stopped dating someone because he only texted. There were other things that alerted me that something was off so I just couldn’t continue the dating process. I just couldn’t shake the icky feeling in my gut.
Kelly Stone good morning. My phone number. 971528619287. And imo. {♥}
A girl text me first everyday but when i call she refuses to take my calls
Susan Winter what about the balance.. if you met through friends already and then took an interest in learning more and potentially dating? What is the balance of him reaching out and me
You're brilliant Susan! I've learned so much and feel better listening to you. I feel more in control of my emotions. Thank you 😊⚘
Brooke, I love reading your share. Thank you!!
You’re reading my mind today…second time I open UA-cam and see you talking about exactly what I’ve been struggling about.😂
The problem with online is they try to have virtual relationships. Texting and texting and not getting to the in person. Ugh. No!
Right? I'm not looking for a text buddy, dummy!
Pertaining to what you say about men just not being as verbal and how a woman can send two or three sentences and maybe only get one-word responses - as far as I'm concerned, if he's not substantive, scintillating, conversational, expressive and communicative, what am I dating him for? Just sex?
I love nothing more than a man who can TALK and a man who can form opinions and enrich me intellectually. It's a huge shame that they're few and far between, but I need someone conversationally rich.
Another amazing content video. You are unbelievably good. This texting thing... so tricky. We have to realize we are reading with our own intonation... not necessarily theirs.
Thaks for yor gracious commentary, Suzy. It's a new skillset we need to adopt and in which we need to become proficient. It's only dicey in new connections. After that point, it's fluid.
I had a new guy contact me yesterday and his responses were short and uninteresting. He wouldn't even acknowledge my inquiries, it felt like automated responses. I stopped and asked my self Why am I trying with this guy!? I'm trying to only give what I get and it saves a lot of time and annoyance..Thank you!
This goes for both men and women. As a guy I get bored AF with varying degrees of hi or hey. 🤣
Now it's even worse because 1/2 the women whose numbers I get respond to my initial text with "Picture please?". They hand out their numbers so often they don't even remember names or references to convos.
I just turned 48 and the man I was dating would only text me verses the phone. I discussed all the reasons for him to use the phone and his response was “it’s just easier because I’m always so busy.” He wasn’t budging so I ended the relationship. So important to make your standards known about texting because it can break up a good relationship.
Laura W I’m amazed that he let you walk away, and I’m amazed that he wouldn’t pick up the phone to save the relationship. Each partner has their “thing” of what they need.It may not make sense to us but considering how little effort it would have taken this man to salvage the relationship - - I’m astounded.
"A-hole points"
LOL--that was SO smooth of you!
Hey, Susan! You look amazing in purple, you should wear it more often. Thank you for giving it to us straight. You're being real, talking about men getting a-hole points! I am 58 and not fond of texting so what I do in the beginning stages is ask if I can call him. I'd much rather hear his voice and get an idea of his tone and all that. Many jokes do not go well in texts. But...I remember back in the '90s, not hearing from a guy for DAYS and not worrying that much about it. Now if we go 24 hours without a text, we panic. Funny how things change, huh?
I learned something from a married couple! Communication is very important!
" ' sup?" Is one of my most-hated intros from a man.
In addition, I judge the lazy speak and see it as much too casual. He's just fishing for "whatever".
Wyd is worse
@@Tubie1111 frrr
And "upto"?
Meanwhile in Syria..
Gosh, I am 24 and happen to fall in love with a woman of 35. You made me understand the differences in women of that age and what they are looking for. So far, I have regular contact with her, as she is my neighbor haha, but yesterday I got her phone number. Things are working out for me and she knows that I like her on more than friendly levels. Slow pacing forward from now on I guess. It feels amazing.
R B any updates?
I am also interested in updates
Older woman are great. No bs
There's one more detail regarding the person that's on the receiving end. Talking to a group of girls about the follow up text/call I have heard both "if he calls me the next day or so that is full on" and "if he doesn't call me the next day it tells me he's not interested" ... So in doing either, depending on the type of "animal", you may be in luck or not :)
I prefer to call or meet up, texting should only be short handed. I need real contact
I double double hate "what's up!" Either I don't respond at all or I will respond "the sky".
I think its also important that both give and take. Especially in the beginning.
Hi Susan, I really enjoy your informative videos...they have helped me tremendously!! Please keep up the great work by making more of them...
I swear its the opposite for me. As a guy, I always feel like I'm the one putting effort in texting with some substance and depth. And the girls barely ask questions or have no substance with them. It's beyond infuriating.
Thank you for sharing this point. It definitely goes both ways.
@@SusanWinter Thank you Susan for the comment! I am really happy I found your work. It's clear and positive. As a guy, I don't like to play that "game", I'd rather be real and open about who I am. Thanks for all of your videos! Always looking forward to more!
Same thing happens with me too. And i refuse to play the "game" like yourself i am staying true to me!
Eventualy i will find someone on the same wavelength
Because they don't *have* to make any effort. They are entertaining 100s of guys and don't need to do anything other than exist.
I have found an exception. My current date admits to being a poor texter but he also works insane hours, sometimes 6-7 days a week. In person, he is very lively and expressive, and we have too much to say to each other. I would gather that a lot of men are just not big on texting and even not much for the phone, if you hear it from the guys side...
Another fantastic video dear Susan! You explained texting perfectly! Thank you so much for including me :) bisous, Claudia
CLAUDIA!! Thank you. I'm so happy you like this message, as you are indeed the first and last word on Texting. For those of you who saw this video, meet @ClaudiaCox of www.textweapon.com. She's the queen of all things Texting!
His opening line is always thoughtful. He does text me every day. But all the following messages mostly are one-liners. And this drives me nuts and make me feel dismissed. But in person, we have great conversations and always a blast. I am on the verge of ending things with him cuz these one-liners just make me feel crappy.
What happened with him?
I hate text-based relationships. I need to at least hear the voice.
You are a genius, lol! You should have a million subscribers ❤️
I personnally don't like texting..for exemple I text my best friends every couple of days or even once a week..I comunicate much better face to face. We should consider that we have all a different approach to technology.
I miss my younger days, pre-cell phones. People were FORCED to actually talk. I feel our social and verbal skills, collectively, are regressing. Sigh….
Excellent insight. Wish I had known this BEFORE I got interested in someone 15 years my junior LOL! Matching the amount of content is a big clue. Im a wordsmith and a writer so I overdo it a bit, but I was trying to impress a Gemini and it did not work ! I still agree with one of your instagram captions about technology being a great tool for logistics but NOT for developing a relationship. Lesson learned!
Cheryl you can't out fool a Gemini! I know because I am one! Wordsmith that's funny I was just called that not long ago by a younger lady I was dating... LOL
The stars and planets will not affect your life in any way.
Waiting for a response for hours and being „anxious“ because of feeling like I’m chasing was damaging to me during my last relationship. Unfortunately I ended up causing a lot of problems that hurt him tremendously and we became insanely distanced to a point that he would text me with 7h gaps in between messages...I’ve never felt more anxious than while waiting for his response.
but why these hour gaps happened?
You're gorgeous, you can get whoever you want. Just go on an app and find 10 replacement guys
the problem with you girls, is that if we respond fast or well elaborated msj, you start to pull away, i dont know why, you want to chase, girls loves to chase, they love narcicist
Your so right..to much to little..quality vs quantity. Something to keep in mind.
And then you get ghosted :D
Not always.
Check out Corey Wayne.
Ken Morgan what’s Ghosted?
@@Chiefab22 Ghosting means when a person suddenly cease all communication without any explanation for the withdrawal. This happens quite often especially with online dating.
Agreed, although you could hit like to their facebook posts or something small to let them know you are still thinking aobut them. I think too much too soon kills relationships, but you still want some minor reassurance.
I failed with the last girl because I wasn't reaching out enough. When I went back to work/driving id tell her so she didn't think i was just blowing her off. I had invited her over a few times and our schedules got in the way at times but then she blamed me for not understanding enough or being excited enough when she asked to come over. I did let her know I slowed down because everytime I asked she either turned it down or had friends/kid to hang out with. I made it clear my place was open and she could stay over whenever and since she had the bigger friend group and kid id let her tell me when she wanted to come over.
Then it turned into wanting to text non stop or once an hour. My short texts had nothing to do with effort or interest, I just was busy or found it hard to text all day. I'd rather talk for an hour at night or preferably see someone in person.
Sometimes my mind spins because the amount of available communication seems to have made us more anxious.
Texting leads to non-communication....
I'd say 90% of women on apps use "H" phrases- hi, hey, hello, how's your (fill in the blank). No real effort at all.
It's sexy AF when a woman can be genuinely witty, flirty, and playful.
If I don't call or text within a couple of days, then that means you should take the hint and move on.
Hi Matt,
Thank you for your comment. Some people hold on to the hope of maybe. It's always best to express directly if you wish to move on.
Being direct and telling someone that you are not interested is the best way, why leave someone guessing
Thank you for saying this! I always send a brief text after a new date to say thank you. I do tend to try to "mirror" but tend to say too much. I do wish to get more phone time.
Thank you so much ! I'm so glad l came across your channel.
Susan! Please do a video about men sending too many selfies! What is going on? I don't need to see his face in a photo multiple times per day seven days a week! Thanks
Christine Springer Yes, very annoying and seems conceited or insecure to me. Either way, it’s a turn off...
Very strange behaviour, quite shallow really. The thing is we are in this "look at me" generation (sigh)
It seems contradictory to your video on being full on. Being who you are, not holding back. So in my case I may send more texts and content. But, it's usually about providing info I think the person may be interested in (not sexual). If the person is responsive, then I may initiate an invitation. If they're not, I typically won't. But, as you said in the other video, the wrongs ones will fall to the wayside and the right one will be on the same page as you.
"A-hole points" Ha ha ha ha!
Thank you for the advice, I Love your videos and all that you have to say it helps me out a lot.
King of the Caribbean, thank you for this! I love reading comments they tell me I've somehow assisted you in your analysis of a confused partner or made you feel better.
Your welcome Susan Winter, you always help me out with your videos it's always nice to get advice from you. You know exactly what to say for any situation that's why I call you my love therapist your always right.
I LOVE THIS!!! I'm honored to be your personal "love therapist." Thank you King of the Caribbean.
You are the only authoritative advice i listen to
is any girl here who always initiates conversation? does that actually work? I am just curious: Do guys who are interested in you really wait for you to initiate a conversation? No matter how much/fast they reply.
Spoke to this girl i wanted to meet and get to know better for around 4 weeks, then she just disappeared haven't heard from her since, makes me not want to try anymore.
See I’ve just been told that I’m texting too much and that’s it’s overwhelming for her, but reality is I’m texting her to make sure she’s cool nothing else you know, we met and it was like insaneeee connections between us 3rd date we made some sweet loving, but now I think she’s scared of getting into something Deep because she don’t wanna get hurt again you know, when for me I reckon it would make me happy and also better within myself it’s a struggle all the mind games 😂 now she’s hardly texting me it’s madness
Jake C what is the endgame for you? To have her forever or just one of life's experiences
Love 💕 love all you say! Thank you Susan!😊
I'm courting a woman from Brazil. I text her good morning and good night everytime im not with her and she will text me right back. She has pulled away in the relationship this last week but still will text me. Am I overdoing it? Im just being me. I don't want to come off as needy. I was married to a woman who never said I love you back in a phone conversation. Now there is the invention of texting. I don't want to smother her. I've been in several relationships where I've been cheated on and dumped. She was cheated on in her marriage. I feel like she is holding back to protect herself from being hurt again. I don't want her to think im playing games at the same time i dont want her to think I'm needy. This crap is so difficult when you have so much negative past experiences. Its as if you psyche yourself out. Im being patient with her cause my last relationship moved way to fast and ended fast. Now im afraid im going to slow and turning her off.
Dating is a game for real. U can’t be too available. Find a balance that
Perfect! Thank you. Really helpful.
Thank You Susan🎓Imo..I've Evolved To Not Expect or Feel Entittled ..Im Responsible for My Own Sense of Well Being ..So If That Person Wants To Respond-? They Will..I've Been Real ,Honest, and Not 'Emotionally Groppy'..So I Will Attract a Person Of an Intelligence That Already Gets That....So Therefore Dont Go Tryin To Get A Corvette if You Dont Have A
a Licence To Think!..😀💛♐
Absolutely Charles. Spot on!
U still look beautiful, how old are u, can l get hooked with, l want u persona imfornation to reach u
What if she's too busy to text right away?
Hello. Regards to online dating app. What would be the first text message to a girl that is effective that has a greater chance to have a reply. What I been doing is...1st I give a compliment, 2nd introduce my self by telling my name, 3rd ask her how she was doing? Then I wait for a reply... Because I will know if my match will read my message with a double check mark. If I see that and 1 day has past, should I move one or send a 2nd text message? So you say if I text my match with a paragraph and I get a 1 liner reply... then consider communicating with somebody else? How about if I text a paragraph and she replies with a paragraph but it's been a week. She still refuse to talk to me over the phone because texting is better especially if she was doing something. We are still communication through the dating up and she still delaying the idea of talking over the phone. What should I be doing? Thanks!
What do I do? It seems like I overtext a guy I’m interested in
The one line message.... but everyday... i just read it and i think but what does expect me to answer ??? Question, answer, then ... aaah cool ¿? ... i m not texting more ... even if i like him....
Can you may a video about people (specifically men) who act like they don’t care, why they do that, and how to deal with them? Thank you
wow. thank you for that I really appreciate it. I definitely agree with everything you said, and ive heard about the whole "good laugh at your expense" thing too sadly. if you are still interested after a man treats you badly what kind of reflection does it say about yourself?
@M Z yeah for sure. I wouldn't say im as interested in the guy as I once was, but it took me a while to remove myself from the situation.
I think for a while I blamed myself, and made excuse for his actions which ,seemed very reasonable (the excuses), but at the end of the day he simply wasn't as interested in me as I was in him, and thats OK. I stopped directly giving him my attention abruptly (thanks to phones/technology) and haven't reached out at all since.
it feels pretty good and ive been putting my love into my fiends & fam and keeping myself busy with work.
I know im gonna see him around school next year, but this time I know that as much as he tries to put himself on a pedestal, I could literally care less because I know what his weaknesses are and despite ignoring him, I am not going to force him to face his reality, but rather sit back, let him be, and hopefully he will find himself for who he truly could be.
thank you for your wise words, you really put some things into perspective that I felt like I already knew, but needed to see. I appreciate you:)
Understood!!! Thank You!!!
Susan I love this the guy I just met a few weeks ago him and I have been texting for hours and he does such a great job with it so I'm really hopeful to see what goes on later
Thank you for your response
I dont call. No matter what we do it will never be perfect. She accepts you or doesn't, move on. Relationships shouldn't be a science project. Supposed to be organic
Thanks for this perspective! I wonder what you think about a guy calling a woman first, rather than texting? I've heard it argued that a man picking up the phone and calling displays more confidence than texting. But it seems texting is more popular today. What would you and other women prefer as the first outreach method?
donavin51 call differentiates you from the rest; some women may be uncomfortable with it given it seems like an almost foreign concept. It doesn’t have to be a long drawn out call, I’m all for the old school method or what should be the norm but seems antiquated due to technology
I prefer calls, but it depends. If it’s a guy from a dating app, I’d rather message for a few days before talking...to look for any red flags. Calls are more effective than texts if trying to get to know someone.
donavin51 texting for younger demographic. Calling for mid to late 20s and above. Historically and culturally. I got a girls # from work and called first and we talked for a good 15 min just messing around. Second time I called her on her off day she was eating dinner but kept the conversation going, with her saying she'll be right back and called back like 5 min later. Forgot if it was in the first or second call or in the beginning or end of either but she said she preferred texting. She was 22, I was 26 at the time for a little bit of where we were coming from. I think a good etiquette would be text and when she responds then call. or if you want to be considerate ask right after if now is a good time to chat.
solid advice here
Brilliantly hilarious (and accurate!) point starting at ~2:25 !
“A-hole points” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Very good! Thank you so much.
What about lesbian dating ? Who makes first moves with texting
This might sound ridiculous but is this applicable to regular friendship?
GREAT VIDEO ""
Thank you Reyna!
Reyna Gomez how you
Thank you for this.
You're welcome, Zan
Interesting, this goes against Corey Wayne saying wait a few days to contact her.
Texting is for kids.
Relationships were so much better before the invention of smartphones. Really, because without texting, people were "forced" to call each other and meetup hence hearts got closer.
I don’t like texting at all.
Don’t know if u have a video on this but why does a guy feel the need to stop trying after your in a relationship but when your not together they try and try . Also what if he’s already kind of seen that u have low confidence
"A-hole points" 😂😂😂😂😂
I don't get it why would somebody get out of here and go back in the hill with their EX I just don't get it I'm old school I was taught by my grandmother you try to go back you sleep with a dog you going to wake up with fleas sorry not to everybody
I am a 23 year old guy and I am quite interested in my 44 year old friend. I don't know if she realizes how interested I am though.I initiate any contact that I can in person and also over text(she will aproach me in person tho) but I am only able to talk about what we have in common(running). I am the one who always texts first, but she is bad a texted really. Any tips on how to small talk and show interest via text for a 23 year old male to a 44 year old female without seeming pushy or needy?
Tyler Hamlin old women don't need that much attention. Unless she likes to chat on the phone or is super horny. Just meet once a week is enough. Text only 1-2x a week to check on/catch up and set a date that same text. If not possible have her dictate her availability back to you then work it out a time when she reaches back
He doesnt like alot text messages. But havent texted much. Havent heard him. Been with 4 months
Susan can you call the guy I thought was really great. He is playing the text waiting game and quite honestly I'm fed up now. He could be a really good one but he is too "manly" with his scarity text replies. He is missing out on a great match. Cos he knows his mother would like me. I need your help on this one. To add to the complexity he is in the army and it doesn't help with restricted access to phones at times with his job and I'm in a complete dilemma.
Than you Susan
I have an issue with texting before the first date. I now have a rule: maximum 2 weeks, if he doesn’t ask to meet, I do. If he doesn’t respond immediatly, I delete him. I don’t buy bla bla
I hope I m doing right
What if woman ask you for money?
Why not talk! That is what a phone is for.
My ex's name is susan I'm watching her vjeo to move on but man "susan" 😂😂😂😂
Honestly, I think that I have put all these pieces together. However, I managed to get the phone number of three different girls from a dating site that I am on, I played my cards very well, and after chatting to them for a while, I got each of them to agree to meet up with me. In each instance we agreed to go on a date in a few days time. It was during this period, that I wasn't sure if I should back off and give them some space, or occasionally check in on them. So in each instance, I chose to check in on them. I got a positive response from each of them. So, without crowding them too much, I would continue to send them the occasional text here and there. In each case, it seemed like they were slowly fading out. Then with each of the three girls, about a day before we had arranged to meet up, they would suddenly do a 180 on me, and say..."Sorry this isn't going to work". It's crushing when it happens just once, let alone three times in a row. I would love to know what I am doing wrong, and why...after having initially been so successful in my approach, I was unable to get them over the line, so to speak.
Susan, if you have the time to offer me even a quick bit of advice, I would really appreciate it. Or if anyone else reading this would care to offer me some advice, I would appreciate that too! Thanks in advance.
New phone.... Who dis?
Im alaways have problems
Isn't it too masculine for a woman to do that .?
I have a guy that texts me just "Hi"...to both devices.
Gag me.
please don't listen to this never make first contact with a man. like ever
Oh yeah!! Waited over five days for a responce back via text!!!! Nothing!!! Not playing games!! No excuses for rudeness!! Told him bye bye!! Now I got control and its empowering!! That Marc can play with his left hand!!!!
Nicola Douglas so toxic. Marc dodged a bullet
I love your videos. Cause you are liberal minded.. too much of overthink and games spoils the relationship
I love you, I love your videos, but I don't follow your advice. I don't text. I led her call. She calls when she wants to meet. She calls after two days.I play no game, I say yes I'm so happy, or just thought about you. I let her come and she comes. Today she came and I sayed I'm happy, that you missed me, I missed you too, I got a first Kiss. When she left I told her that I'll give her two sexuell wishes and asked if she yet knowes what it is and she said yes and went to work. Why I am that sure she will come?! I'm not counting minutes, I'm excided and happy. I enjoy the present, and looking forward to get someting more or less dirty. I real man is able to let a beautiful woman breath.
Sounds to me like you're the woman in this relationship, I'd be exhausted a long time ago trying to chase a grown man gosh 😲
Hahahhaha wassup HOW U DOIN
I wish ALL men would watch your videos! Please target your UA-cam, Facebook, and any other ads to Men! They desperately need you and they don't even realize it!!
If you don't call? We really don't care. You're just self selecting yourselves out of the dating pool. Another car pulling up in 3 min.
Oh barf, get over yourself.
Over under, 10K in plastic in the face
I’d rather be the A. Hole , works every time
Johnny Javelin sounds like you’ve never been loved
Good luck cos no woman apart from your mom would ever love you!!! Hahaha
The crazy thing is usually being an asshole works..women are so used to assholes..crazy but true
Wish I had seen this earlier..