5 things a female covert narcissist will never admit 1- they won't recognize their toxic behavior patterns 2- admitting their self-centered nature 3- lack of empathy 4- to apologize for their lies, deceit, and abusive behavior 5- they won't admit that they gaslighted you cheers from southern ontario, canada 🍁
When she talk harsh towards me, and mention it hurts me. She excuses her self "because you provoked me" even if I didn't do anything than maybe answered her in a away she didn't understood. If I don't understand her, she can talk to me "is that so hard to understand" in a patronising way or with a harsh tone. In the beginning I didn't say anything. Now everytime I point out her attitude, and to explain it to her. You always defend your self. why are you criticising and bashing me. You are a Saint It was you that started the argument It's like fighting a person with my hands on my back. She tick many things as a covert narcissist, except she never lies about money, and always updating me where she is going. I'm confused
@@TJ-bs4wv Don't worry about being confused. She is trying to confuse you. It is one of the main points of her behaviour. That is one way she keeps control over you. She uses your own good nature against you. She makes you doubt yourself, and doubt whether she is a narcissist at all sometimes. She is nice sometimes so she keeps you unsure, so that you stay and put up with the bad times. And over time the bad times will be more and more, and the good times less and less. Don't make the same mistake I and others have made. If it's sometimes, or even often, good, but sometimes it feels like the worst thing in the world and she doesn't actually care about you at all, leave. Look after yourself, and good luck.
@@TJ-bs4wv she updates you so that you don't ever doubt her, in reality she's doing all kinds of things you can't even yet imagine. When in time it is revealed, you'll be so hurt and in denial that you'll doubt yourself instead of her because she was always so upfront with keeping you updated. Remember my words my friend.
I’ve thrown in the towel to protect myself, I’ve seen this behavior with all three women I had deeper “relationships with” and my mother. Done with dysfunction and I know the signs now. Just mainly keep to myself.
I think it's beautiful that you care about the males so much. They get side lined a bit too much as their suffering when it comes to this type of demonic abuse is exactly the same. Kudos to you Lise.
I think it's really interesting that my ex did her thesis about domestic abuse. It laid out facts about physical abuse perpetrated by men. Of course, this is a very real thing and needs to be taken seriously. I find it interesting that she wouldn't recognize the psychological abuse that she put me through in the relationship. After breaking up and pointing out all of her narcissistic traits she called me the abuser. Go figure.
Zoe I agree. Lise sorta makes me feel like Will Ferrell’s character in “Stepbrothers” when his female therapist councils him the first thing he says to her is “I love you.” Lol. I’m sure Lise makes a lot of guys recovering from impossible relationships feel like that. The truth is, Lise is a very special person who’s calling is to help people who have suffered emotional and physiological abuse make sense of the toxic relationships they were in and rebuild their lives. I feel very blessed and humbled to learn from her and I’m grateful Providence led me to this channel so I have this opportunity to learn from her wisdom and teaching and live my best life.
A covert narcissist, will never, ever. Accept the evidence laid out in front of them. No matter if it's caught on camera or red-handed. They will, ALWAYS, make excuses. And the thing is, they will believe their own lie to the point it becomes delusional. Let me make this clear. *There is NO POINT in ever sending a video like this to a narcissist.* All they will do, is learn how to better manipulate you.
U absolutely right I know my ex wife got better of hiding her narc ways once I told her she not just a narc she a covert narc .. I feel sorry for the new supply !!! Videos I would send her she yells quit sending me this I absolute conquer her ways of triggering me .. I’m hate her for life because my mind was in deep deep confusion and she enjoyed seeing me in pain and wouldnt help me so those who say u not suppose to say I hate someone I don’t know any of way of staying firm mentally n staying safe from her !! Yes I forgave her but if she pass today I would NOT attend the funeral
I'm sad because I took my marriage vows seriously but also relieved at the same time. I filled for a divorce from my wife a few days ago. She learned it from her own Mom and got no attention from her Dad growing up having "daddy issues". This marriage has been completely exhausting. It's always about her. My soon to be ex wife is a textbook "Covert Narcissist" always blame shifting, no accountability, victimhood mentality and also the "martyr complex" . She's relapsed for a fourth time in 2 years. Blaming me and everyone else. I personally have a heart & empathy but I can't do this anymore and live my best life as i'm almost 50. Life is too short!
@@anthonyinsani9914 It almost sounds like we were married to the same woman. The marriage should've ended after 3 years, but counsiling put a band-aid on the situation. It finally ended at the 6.5 year mark, five years ago. Take time to heal. Even after 5 years, I still occassionally miss her and have to remind myself of what a nightmare it was being in that relationship. Also, don't ignore flags when you're ready to find someone new. Good luck to you!
@@dirklee5110 Right I totally understand the marriage should have ended sooner than later because of counseling. From what I learned from a phycotherapy personally, the "Covert Narcissist" is the least likely to learn anything from counseling. It's not their fault, it's everyone else's. I understand you miss her after 5 years but remember the bad times as what a nightmare it was. I got married later in my life for the first time ever. My soon to be ex wife is in denial that I even filed for a divorce, trying to talk me out of it. I already left our house, staying temporarily at my friends place, my ex wife can have everything. I don't care about material possessions. I just want my peace of mind back. Oh I'm a different breed, I don't have to be in a relationship for a long time or possibly ever again. Possibly even celibate the rest of my life. Thank you for the message!
There cant be no confiding , no sharing dreams, thoughts, fears, or even 'pillow talk'. its like talking to the cops. EVERYTHING YOU SAY CAN AND WILL BE USED AGAINST YOU!!
@@343GuiltySparkinst04 i learned to finally see how evil what she did to me for all of those years truly was. Hate to say it, but I learned, to hate her. The hate freed my soul. Blocked all forms of communication, threw away all pictures and gifts. Anything of her, became as gone as she was.
Agree. I think she must be rehearsing a conversation in her head until it becomes the "truth" to her. Taking responsibility for her destructive actions does not happen.
“I was wrong.” Trust me, it won’t happen, unless it’s at the very beginning, when she’s trying to love bomb you and sound innocent. At any other time, she’ll gaslight, blame shift, victimize herself or simply run away. My ex ALWAYS had a flee reaction to any situation in which she felt that her “reputation” was endangered. Deep down, narcissists have a cowardly nature.
That's been my experience with all 3 of my narcissist/borderline ex's. They are complete cowards and cannot handle the most minor of inconveniences or setbacks.
@@bluntamainia444 same with one of my (former) friends. They act innocent but they know exactly what they did, unless/until it's convenient for them to believe the delusion that they could do no wrong.
@@CynthiaSchoenbauer it’s literally as though they didn’t hear you in their scheme to negate your pov. I think they view that as a challenge and threat to their attempt at dominance over you. You suggest a solution but two seconds later they say the same thing hence their answer and whatever problem solved while you look speechless and stunned pondering what just occurred.
Awesome video! The hardest part of being with a covert narc and breaking away is the realization the whole “relationship”, our emotions, etc were spent on a total illusion!
Yes, quality for us. Great honest advice. Thank you. Men are often the silent victims of this form of abuse. We trust so few and when our wife turns out to be a black widow, it destroys a man.
I just broke up with her. Never heard any of this. ZERO admission of guilt. The furthest she’s ever gone, “We both have issues. We’re both to blame.” Everyone of your videos, especially #1 Tactics, fit her to a “T.” I appreciate the reminder that it wasn’t personal. I know that every ONE of her partners has dealt with this, as has her family. HOWEVER, I still bore the brunt of her abuse, ESPECIALLY when I confronted her with reality!!! The pain of the abuse I’ve suffered is very real and 100% personal. In the devaluing phase, she would attack my character, even the things about my personality she claimed in the idealization phase to cherish above all else, insulted my intelligence (I knew when she was lying or bending truth) and blame-shifted our problems. This breakup is already ALL MY FAULT. when all I did was try to love the FCN to the best of my ability, to choose humility over being “right,” and to encourage her to get help. That last one she only did as a manipulative ploy after the last time she self-destructed and kicked me out. I was discarded again like a piece of trash, joining many others who’d been caught in her web of deceit. Only then, in response to her fear that she’d lost her supply, did she seek out a therapist. She doesn’t really want help. She went for more weapons and ammunition. So I appreciate that I’m not to blame for her deep distrust of men nor her self-loathing, but I certainly leave here with very deep emotional scars. She made it my fault. She made it very personal when she dug her claws in. That’s a fact. I feel like I need counseling, now. 🤦🏻♂️
I found you at the last second of a three-year relationship w a female covert where I had no clue what I was dealing with and I could not figure out what was going on. As it got closer and closer to the end of us, I thought I wasn’t going to have any choice but to check out for good. And then I found you. I know genuine sociopaths. I know malignant narcissists. This was a whole new breed, and I was completely blind and just about out of my mind trying to make sense of it. I’m out. I’ve got professional help, and every minute of every day is a challenge. But if it wasn’t for you and what I found in your videos about 5 weeks ago,, I don’t know if I would be here right now. Yep, 5 weeks. I know, Right? You and your videos have made a huge difference to me and I just want you to know that. Thank you Thank you Thank you
Im right there with you and I'm finally tryin' to divorce her and its as bad as you thought it'd be but I'm doin it or I wouldn't be around anymore and it wasn't my fault just get away with your life and be lucky its never too late
Most malignant narcissists are men , and are easy to spot. Most covert narcissists are women, and are difficult to spot. They love bomb you, adopt your habits and hobbies, and actually admire you. Until they have you, then realize you must be imperfect, and begin to torture you subtly.
Listening to you almost felt like I got the closure and truth I never received. The twisted part is that I know this about her now, without her even saying. If only I figured her out earlier on… 🙏🏾
Exactly what I went thru. I even looked like the men in those clips. Really showed how desperate she made me feel. The kicker was she convinced me I was the root of the problem. She would blantanly gaslight and confabulation things she JUST said and deny it and rewrite what was said and fight me for concretely repeating back what she verbatim said, it was psychologically mind bending to the point of snap.
Thank you again, always informative and validating. One thing I would add - after 26 years of marriage - I have experienced her having a complete meltdown - after shifting her behaviors onto our 18yo daughter, she expressed feeling guilty. She went into sorrowful mode, expressing regret for some things done to me, and further stated she was going to be a better person. Within 12 hours she went into full narc rage in public at me. Probably regretting expressing a vulnerable emotion. I stood there and calmly said: "So this your idea of a better person." The mask may slip, not too far and not too long.
Again, so on point. Yesterday (Sunday), The Demon tries to contact me from a new number. I don't answer as I'm in work. She SOMEHOW calls my friend. My friend messaged her about a year ago to tell her to leave me alone. She's kept my friend's number for over a year. My friend sent me the number which matched The Demon's. Anyway, I eventually answer. Tell her how abusive she was. Ask her why she's calling me, why she called my friend. And that she knows I work Sundays anyway. She said the following three things:- 1. "I haven't called you." 2. "I didn't call your friend." 3. "It's not Sunday." But still it doesn't cease to surprise me how maddening she is. I have evidence. And...it is Sunday! I told her the only reason I wasn't going to the police was because of her children and I didn't want them upset. I have never met anyone that's this bad before.
Your video exactly describes the woman (who had been an MFT) in my 9 year relationship that dissolved earlier this year. I will never hear these things that occured exactly as you describe. Your channel has helped a great deal the past 6 months.
I was married to a covert narcissist for 32 years. I guarantee that she would NEVER admit to these things. When completely caught out in something I've seen her shut down (glassy eyes, blank stare, expressionless face) rather than actually admit fault.
Thank you for this. I've experienced this in my marriage. I'm now widowed and have had to find answers I can live with on my own. In a way, death has made recovery from this a little easier. There's no more gray areas or what ifs. It is just what it is now and I have to live with it, and that feels okay for me (after a year of living hell, and probably many more difficult years to come) I hope people that go through toxic relationships and abuse, especially in marriage, can find ways to survive and thrive past it and see that it's not a reflection of themselves, just broken people being broken towards others.
This is the most profound and eerily accurate assessment & description of the incurable voids that exist in a relationship with someone like this. Incredible 🙏🏾
My ex would never be able to say these things. This would make her question her life view which was the thing she was most confident about. I just had to leave, feel free, and be confused. Some things can never be answered. I have to be happy with supposition. Nice work. Thanks for creating this channel.
The closure speech needed from narcs that one needs and would never get who going through the worst heartbreak. Here in this video in black and white. This really relieved me of my trauma a little bit.
Thank you. For thirty years I have been trying to figure out what was going on with my wife. You have enlightened me so much. Anyone seeing this early in your relationship. Run away as fast as you can.
Gracias, Lisa, for your videos. I went through a nightmare with a female narcissist and your videos were extremely helpful. My contribution is done. Regards from Spain.
I sent your covert narcissistic video to a sweat girl. I know its harder for girls. I really wish her the best. She tried to be supportive but had some obvious red flags.
My ex came back a year after we separated claiming she'd needed space to get her head together. She also tried to give some explanation about her behaviour, without going into detail or admitting to lying, she admitted she could be selfish but blamed it all on being a recovering alcoholic. She said all alcoholics are selfish and difficult to be with. I didn't believe what she said. Anyway more lies followed and she was off again.
Short personal story of mine. My ex and I worked at the same place at one point, this was later on in the relationship and we were already living together. One day I came home from work and found a conversation between my ex and her friend where she confessed to doing something behind my back and saying she feels guilty. I kept them evidence and let it slide cause I was an idiot and in denial. Few weeks later I came home from work again and some guy was inviting her out to dinner, the same guy she mentioned to her friend. I lost my shit and we got into a huge fight over it, I left our apartment to go stay with a friend cause my world was falling apart. She was supposed to go to work that day and just quit her job, blamed it on me that I acted in a childish manner and that I turned out to be an unreliable PoS. We reconciled next day and I actually got her her job back, took responsibility for the incident and spoke to management to get her rehired... What did she do? She denied the offer and said she doesn't wanna go back because it's embarrassing kindergarden lvl type stuff. These covert narcs are morons and deserve the misery they live in. They self sabotage every single second of positivity in their life just to be a victim of something to complete strangers. They also have mentally challenged maladaptives as their enablers that believe every word and provide the narc with support in this twisted fantasy world. They're clowns, but not the fun kind, they're Pennywise from "It". People should re-watch the movie after narcissistic abuse, you'll really draw some parallels to the lessons you have to learn in facing your traumas, otherwise the narc will keep coming back until you are dead.
The hardest part, that pains me to this day, is knowing you weren’t loved. You were there for convenience. I loved her so much, after years it still pains me to think it was all in my head.
You have been my teacher for years I will share my experience if you would like but regardless I wanted to thank you because I was lost until I actually found out what narcissism is and you taught me how to recognize and heal God bless Ms Leblanc ✝️😌
Thank you Lisa. You are my favorite amongst all the people who tackle the topic of narcissists on youtube. You explain it best, with the right wording that makes it so easy to understand. And you are also a lovely presence❤
What a lovely thing to say to our host. I’m sure she understands you more than you realise. Oh hang on a minute. Maybe you should spell her name correctly if you respect her as much as you suggest ! 😂 talk about the gullibility of a narcissist. ! Here’s a perfect example of their arrogance. Stupidity in my view but I guess I can’t say that. Oops. 😂🖖
I’m almost in tears listening to this. I didn’t think anyone cared enough to even recognize this happens to guys. I had no idea there was someone that could help with this specifically, as it’s embarrassing and extremely saddening to realize this is what years of your life.
omg me too. worst still, she was 20yrs younger than me. I feel completely humiliated. I hope you are healing. I am 2 weeks into the breakup and utterly heartbroken 💔
Thank you Lise, the truth sets you free, and I learn so much from your teaching. It’s very hard to articulate how grateful I am for the insight and understanding I gain from the beautiful and elegant truths that are contained in your lessons.
The more I watch your videos the more I realize how deeply I was entrained into the toxicity of my ex-wife. Thank you for being an integral party of my healing.
OMG… after a difficult evening with my probably covert narcissist wife yesterday, I must admit you’re spot on… difficult situation to admit for me as we are also business partners… I think the boat will rock in the next months/years for me to get out of this 😢😢😢
All very true, and its somewhat uncanny to hear someone verbalize these points. Almost feels like a flash back to hear that. It again, highlights the importance of identifying these people as early as possible, so you don't have to go thru all of this.
im just now at the stage of acceptance, actually that was 4 weeks ago. I am truly free now ! 1.5years since breakup 10 years. Radical acceptance is the cure, dont wait for any closure ! WIll never happen. Realize u are addicted. No contact ! Get a hobby, i went to gym 2 hrs DAILY - this was my help. Good luck to you all ! you need it, because damn !
Hi. A very interesting video - thanks for making it. Post divorce I have been dating and I think about 75% of the women that I’ve met have described their ex as narcissistic. I am very reluctant to describe someone as narcissistic in the true sense of the word - just because they are annoying! How could I identify whether my ex was a true narcissist? She has been completely unreasonable (IMHO) in the break up and since - but it seems way too easy to just say that she is a narcissist. Having said that - I recognise in her many of the characteristics that you illustrate in your video. The worst of it is that I still see the good in her - despite her having done and said some very hurtful things - and would like to start all over again with her! This drives my daughters and friends nuts - but there doesn’t seem to be anything that she can do to actually cross my line of acceptability and make me lose interest in her. Probably a classic situation?
What none of these "experts" reveal, is that everything is spiritual, relationships like this are are fated, these people are our teachers, we are usually just like them in opposite but similar ways and it's all in our astrology. The synastry chart, and each person's birthday. Once you see it, it can't be unseen. Also, nobody talks about the Christian method of forgiveness and just accepting people AS IS.Because most of us are control freaks as well and want it the way we want it, but NOBODY admits to that. Relationships are SO much more nuanced than cookie cutter traits. You NEVER hear "narc experts" discuss their OWN narcissism, which, IMHO everybody has, because it's the Human Condiition. we don't know about it in others because it usually appears only in relationships, where people act out in private. I don't think this fad movement is doing anyone any real good, it just self-validates people's own self righteous beliefs and glosses over all of the "victims" faults, that we ALL have. I have yet to know a perfect person, without annoying behaviours, outright insufferable traits, but I also know that I can't hate people I actually love in order to satisfy the mob. The Mob hates everybody. The Mob gets rich parroting a narrative. Everybody wants in on the action.
Thank you Ms Leblanc! You really hit the nail on the head here. This and all the others are proving to be very helpful on my healing journey. Awesome work, recommend.
Oh so true. Recognizing how their words and actions affect someone else is beyond them. Not to mention taking any accountability, self-reflecting and apologizing, even if you maturely express your feelings with the "I statements".
You keep nailing it perfectly. When her behaviour was exposed my NPD ex suggested “ relationship counselling.” I was stupid enough to agree. She had seen so many therapists she had learned how to run rings around them. However, the therapist, a very bright woman, had her number from the start. After two sessions the ex decided it wasn’t working and we stopped.
I remember with my narcissistic ex how there was ALWAYS something wrong and it was ALWAYS my fault even though she ALWAYS created the problem. Been mercifully free of her for 2 years now living with a terrible roommate (loud, dirty, gross, selfish). STILL a better friendship.
Thank you so much Lisa ❤️ you have helped me so much over the course of my last relationship and it helped me to let him go and only make healthy connections in the future since it's not who I am to be in a toxic relationship with anything.❤
Thank you. 35 years here. NOW she says I have "exactly 11 months" to "get out". After all these years I've done my best to be the plumber, electrician, mechanic, carpenter, LOVER (can't even get close anymore) etc etc... I'm the guy that actually MOWS the lawn/weed-whacks the yard... takes the trash... yet still... never good enough... yeah... it SUCKS... and yeah... I'm the one that COOKS/CLEANS!!!!
I caught my ex with bpd/npd red handed. I had pictures etc. And SHE stilled lied right to my face. Its so pathetic the extremes they go to. Its so ridiculous they will make u second guess urself all the time
The best part is when you expose them. And they crumble and leave because it is game over. Sure, they will hate you even more, and spread lies. But it is so satisfying to know that you popped their balloon. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 Leave their evil selves behind and never look back. Eventually, you forget almost everything.
These are exactly the things I waited (and worked) 20 years in vain to hear. Hearing them here, and seeing how impossible it would ever have been for her to say them, has set me free from that fantasy that kept me trapped in hope.
Disgard after 3 years of a very on/off relationship , we had a blazing row..I left she used it as an excuse too finally disgard me and make me feel guilty for irlt...Then I went round there for two weeks saying sorry ,cards, letters etc..She was really cold due to mask slipping...She did once say she shouldn't be in a realtionship eith anyone and is toxic and hurt people hurt people..At least i stopped blaming myself now...But I feel stupid I was gaslighted so much.
She would never say, "I realize I have been passive-aggressive in my attacks. The guilt trips, and the playing "guess whats in my head games" were destructive. Im sorry. I will be clear, and do my best to be an open, honest, and transparent person."
@josmclove4426 I still am amazed how strong-willed they are. How does one just start criticizing and demeaning another, out of the blue? They know we want to please them, and all they need to do is ask. Instead, they choose a destructive path, doing what I say is."criticizing to success." Obviously, it doesn't work and makes them more angry. Is there just that much toxicity built up inside them that they have to dump on another person; one that has chosen to love them? So crazy, sad, destructive.
@doranvee5944 I asked my girlfriend this morning and she just ignored me. I wanna know whether they deliberately sabotage a good relationship or if they genuinely can't help themselves. They are seriously confounding.I don't understand why they're so against all that's fair and good.🤦🏽♂️
@josmclove4426 I think in many ways they don't know themselves. Maybe it's a combination of factors? Some of it could be from childhood, hereditary?, the prevailing attitudes in society, their own frustrations, selfishness, pride, and lack of self awareness, objectivity, self-relection, insecurities, stress, etc. Combine all that and there is one screwed up person. Coverts cannot bring themselves to the idea that much of their behavior is because of themselves. It's far easier to engage in negativity, blame, projection, than to hold oneself accountable. Personally, my wife was terrible at being diplomatic, tactful, and compromising. She never knew anything other than blunt criticism. Most people understand to motivate a person, there must be a sandwich approach. I think men are so easy. Heck we will even tell them what will work for them to get what they want, because at the heart of it, men want to make their girl happy. Though they know the invective they are spewing is destructive, the relief that comes from unloading on their partner seems to take priority. The conversations are poorly thought out because they lean heavily on their emotions in the moment. Society seems to say that men are suppose to understand and deal with the hot mess, never reacting after endless torturous rants. If we do, suddenly, we are even more the bad guy.
Am I the only one who found themselves laughing as Lise took us into a world of fantasy?! Face it, it's never going to happen. The way she kept a straight face was brilliant.🤣
My ex will never admit to anything if questioned, even if you show her a video of herself doing whatever it was she is denying, stands on it 😤 so childish
@@halkonbabi I just recently learned a new one that's old as the hills: "why do you keep bringing up the past?" When I reminded my ex of one of her unacceptable actions in relation to why I think it's a bad idea to let her move back in 🤨 the first time bringing it up, thank you for the reply, regards
Never leave one of these types alone in your house. They will search everything, go through every drawer and closet, take inventory of your most private things like diaries and journals, and later weaponize their findings. After admitting they violated your trust and privacy.
Wow, I’m beginning to realize my experience with a FCN is not only unique and virtually unprecedented but also the more i learn and the more closely i observe my experience in retrospect, I’ve come to the conclusion that I have an INCREDIBLE story about my toxic relationship but even more incredible is the girl herself. Almost a year post split I’m still confused and in pain and I still feel the shame and embarrassment. HOWEVER, because of my apparent unique unprecedented experience and knowing what I know now, I’m almost feeling a sense of accomplishment, it’s weird…. It’s like I unknowingly ran into a MASTER manipulator who btw, spared no detail in her pursuit to destroy me… And yes she hurt me exponentially! Yes! She broke my confidence, but only temporarily And yes! She controlled the narrative… I admit as much. But, I believe that i alone exclusively did something to her that she has both never had done to her and also that not even SHE (the master) was not quite able to achieve her ultimate goal with me…. I’m actually feeling a bit of pride in the fact, maybe this b word finally met her match; intellectually, and physically. I won’t say she lost the overall battle…. But and even tho I got hurt big time, I think I can say that, from her pov, I played her to a draw…. I still feel the loss, but I think she believes she lost. It’s so much more complex and detailed than I’m describing. This girl has proven to be intellectually brilliant… But so did i prove the same to her. I say this without a doubt because she actually admitted as much. She got satisfaction by hiding all her lies inside of truths by carefully and tactfully composing her words. She accomplished this by incorporating deep subliminal messages into her text, and by cleverly obscuring double meanings beneath what appeared to be obvious and straight forward statements. But I also write and think and articulate in a similar fashion so, therefore, I was usually not fooled and rather than accuse her of manipulating, I instead subliminally dished it right back at her. And this was not necessarily intentional but, towards the end, when I was becoming more n more confused and open to any possible explanation for her overnight-180-flip, I did so in a manner that, through her pov, must’ve forced her to at the very least question weather or not I was playing the same game… which of course I wasn’t, rather, I was simply protecting myself; and once she flipped into this other personality I really dished the double meanings and subliminals right back at her. My hopes were that I’d eventually break through her new walls (aka her guard) and in turn get some of the answers to my questions and get the clarity of “why” she suddenly turned from my person to someone who resented me on a level I didn’t think was even possible…. I’m the end, I have an ultimatum. Keep in mind, I had NO CLUE of the concept of FCN but, I was and am highly experienced with dealing with woman’s mental/psychological issues. And till Lise Leblanc enlightened me, I just thought “ufcking women are IMPOSSIBLE to understand but, ima do everything necessary to figure them out” Maybe, since I don’t possess the same fears as her typical victims did, thst I was there for able to resist succumbing; I refused to turn into all her other victims. Who all got dumped and went on to become unhinged. Basically, I know/knew that I will have no problems attracting more sexy beautiful girls like she was and that dynamic must’ve INFURIATED her at first but also lead her to doing and saying multiple things Lise told us would NEVER happen. My story is absolutely insane and I promise i have not even begun to break the surface of how exceptional my experience with a FCN has been. Also, after she did /said these things they don’t ever say or do, I disassociated with her COMPLETELY. Blocked her on everything and I have not wavered on iota. This is a story that must be told and heard. Plus, I’m a creative writer, i could really pen the experience beautifully and make it super entertaining, I believe… Hmmm 🤔 What or where am I supposed to do this tho 🤔 🤷♂️
5 things a female covert narcissist will never admit
1- they won't recognize their toxic behavior patterns
2- admitting their self-centered nature
3- lack of empathy
4- to apologize for their lies, deceit, and abusive behavior
5- they won't admit that they gaslighted you
cheers from southern ontario, canada 🍁
We are dealing with this on a societal level.
Good observation
Partially caused by social media
Yeah, cause every girl has a bunch of simps in their comments/dms on IG and their dms on dating apps
Partially thanks to social media
BINGO ! 💯
Tell a narcissist how much you’ve been hurt and the best you’ll ever get back is “How do you think I feel?”
Naturally.
They can't _stand_ any accusation that makes them uncomfortable. *_Especially_* when grounded in truth.
When she talk harsh towards me, and mention it hurts me.
She excuses her self "because you provoked me" even if I didn't do anything than maybe answered her in a away she didn't understood.
If I don't understand her, she can talk to me "is that so hard to understand" in a patronising way or with a harsh tone.
In the beginning I didn't say anything.
Now everytime I point out her attitude, and to explain it to her.
You always defend your self.
why are you criticising and bashing me.
You are a Saint
It was you that started the argument
It's like fighting a person with my hands on my back.
She tick many things as a covert narcissist, except she never lies about money, and always updating me where she is going.
I'm confused
@@TJ-bs4wv Don't worry about being confused. She is trying to confuse you. It is one of the main points of her behaviour. That is one way she keeps control over you. She uses your own good nature against you. She makes you doubt yourself, and doubt whether she is a narcissist at all sometimes. She is nice sometimes so she keeps you unsure, so that you stay and put up with the bad times. And over time the bad times will be more and more, and the good times less and less.
Don't make the same mistake I and others have made. If it's sometimes, or even often, good, but sometimes it feels like the worst thing in the world and she doesn't actually care about you at all, leave. Look after yourself, and good luck.
@@christianrokicki No doubt!
@@TJ-bs4wv she updates you so that you don't ever doubt her, in reality she's doing all kinds of things you can't even yet imagine. When in time it is revealed, you'll be so hurt and in denial that you'll doubt yourself instead of her because she was always so upfront with keeping you updated. Remember my words my friend.
I would argue modern dating is a training ground for Narcissism.
So true
😂..😢
I’ve thrown in the towel to protect myself, I’ve seen this behavior with all three women I had deeper “relationships with” and my mother. Done with dysfunction and I know the signs now. Just mainly keep to myself.
I think it's beautiful that you care about the males so much. They get side lined a bit too much as their suffering when it comes to this type of demonic abuse is exactly the same. Kudos to you Lise.
Thank you Zoe 😊I feel validated by your comment.
I think it's really interesting that my ex did her thesis about domestic abuse. It laid out facts about physical abuse perpetrated by men. Of course, this is a very real thing and needs to be taken seriously. I find it interesting that she wouldn't recognize the psychological abuse that she put me through in the relationship. After breaking up and pointing out all of her narcissistic traits she called me the abuser. Go figure.
@@tylerlane1702 well mine was great at projecting. Everything she was thinking of doing or have been doing she projected on me and accused me of.
Zoe I agree. Lise sorta makes me feel like Will Ferrell’s character in “Stepbrothers” when his female therapist councils him the first thing he says to her is “I love you.” Lol. I’m sure Lise makes a lot of guys recovering from impossible relationships feel like that. The truth is, Lise is a very special person who’s calling is to help people who have suffered emotional and physiological abuse make sense of the toxic relationships they were in and rebuild their lives. I feel very blessed and humbled to learn from her and I’m grateful Providence led me to this channel so I have this opportunity to learn from her wisdom and teaching and live my best life.
A covert narcissist, will never, ever. Accept the evidence laid out in front of them.
No matter if it's caught on camera or red-handed. They will, ALWAYS, make excuses.
And the thing is, they will believe their own lie to the point it becomes delusional. Let me make this clear.
*There is NO POINT in ever sending a video like this to a narcissist.*
All they will do, is learn how to better manipulate you.
U absolutely right I know my ex wife got better of hiding her narc ways once I told her she not just a narc she a covert narc .. I feel sorry for the new supply !!! Videos I would send her she yells quit sending me this I absolute conquer her ways of triggering me .. I’m hate her for life because my mind was in deep deep confusion and she enjoyed seeing me in pain and wouldnt help me so those who say u not suppose to say I hate someone I don’t know any of way of staying firm mentally n staying safe from her !! Yes I forgave her but if she pass today I would NOT attend the funeral
Yup
@@bruno213 No doubt!
@@letnothingslide1969 don't miss your chance to dance on the grave 😂
@@tonybolstad9514 yeah.... Don't do that!.... That would be kinda psychopathic behavior.
WOW! I have been divorced for 6 years and this is the first thing that has actually helped me understand this.
I'm sad because I took my marriage vows seriously but also relieved at the same time. I filled for a divorce from my wife a few days ago. She learned it from her own Mom and got no attention from her Dad growing up having "daddy issues". This marriage has been completely exhausting. It's always about her. My soon to be ex wife is a textbook "Covert Narcissist" always blame shifting, no accountability, victimhood mentality and also the "martyr complex" . She's relapsed for a fourth time in 2 years. Blaming me and everyone else. I personally have a heart & empathy but I can't do this anymore and live my best life as i'm almost 50. Life is too short!
@@anthonyinsani9914 It almost sounds like we were married to the same woman. The marriage should've ended after 3 years, but counsiling put a band-aid on the situation. It finally ended at the 6.5 year mark, five years ago.
Take time to heal. Even after 5 years, I still occassionally miss her and have to remind myself of what a nightmare it was being in that relationship. Also, don't ignore flags when you're ready to find someone new. Good luck to you!
@@dirklee5110 Right I totally understand the marriage should have ended sooner than later because of counseling. From what I learned from a phycotherapy personally, the "Covert Narcissist" is the least likely to learn anything from counseling. It's not their fault, it's everyone else's. I understand you miss her after 5 years but remember the bad times as what a nightmare it was. I got married later in my life for the first time ever. My soon to be ex wife is in denial that I even filed for a divorce, trying to talk me out of it. I already left our house, staying temporarily at my friends place, my ex wife can have everything. I don't care about material possessions. I just want my peace of mind back. Oh I'm a different breed, I don't have to be in a relationship for a long time or possibly ever again. Possibly even celibate the rest of my life. Thank you for the message!
Same
There cant be no confiding , no sharing dreams, thoughts, fears, or even 'pillow talk'. its like talking to the cops. EVERYTHING YOU SAY CAN AND WILL BE USED AGAINST YOU!!
Literally
It was. Even when working on healing and family issues, later that was ammunition to add to the stacks of complaints
I finally moved forward. Took six years - but I did it! Freeeeeeeeeedom (in my Braveheart voice)!!!!
Well done mate. I lost 6 years as well - gutted but could be worse!
5 years mate 😊 happy to an extent
EightYears of my Life.
I am 53 now.
Have to start again.
12 years how do you effectively move on without self destruction or biting at bait the tactically lay?
@@343GuiltySparkinst04 i learned to finally see how evil what she did to me for all of those years truly was. Hate to say it, but I learned, to hate her. The hate freed my soul. Blocked all forms of communication, threw away all pictures and gifts. Anything of her, became as gone as she was.
They will never take ownership what they have done, they believe in their own lies.
Agree. I think she must be rehearsing a conversation in her head until it becomes the "truth" to her. Taking responsibility for her destructive actions does not happen.
@@TheNarcFileShow No doubt!
Socialist psychopaths
“I was wrong.” Trust me, it won’t happen, unless it’s at the very beginning, when she’s trying to love bomb you and sound innocent. At any other time, she’ll gaslight, blame shift, victimize herself or simply run away. My ex ALWAYS had a flee reaction to any situation in which she felt that her “reputation” was endangered. Deep down, narcissists have a cowardly nature.
I dated one that admitted she was wrong in the beginning but then got really aggressive trying to create a power dynamic from that point on
That's been my experience with all 3 of my narcissist/borderline ex's. They are complete cowards and cannot handle the most minor of inconveniences or setbacks.
This was my trauma therapist...Trust No One!
@@wmhhealth2018 same here! got the npd/bpd combo all in one, glad is over
@@bluntamainia444 same with one of my (former) friends. They act innocent but they know exactly what they did, unless/until it's convenient for them to believe the delusion that they could do no wrong.
They never apologize or if you give them advice from your pov, they act as though they came up with the realization and not you.
Yes, my many narc family members would repeat things I said to try to impress me with their ideas.
@@CynthiaSchoenbauer it’s literally as though they didn’t hear you in their scheme to negate your pov. I think they view that as a challenge and threat to their attempt at dominance over you. You suggest a solution but two seconds later they say the same thing hence their answer and whatever problem solved while you look speechless and stunned pondering what just occurred.
Awesome video! The hardest part of being with a covert narc and breaking away is the realization the whole “relationship”, our emotions, etc were spent on a total illusion!
once again… thank you Lise . you are helping so many 👍🏼
Agree 100%
Yes, quality for us. Great honest advice. Thank you. Men are often the silent victims of this form of abuse. We trust so few and when our wife turns out to be a black widow, it destroys a man.
@@doranvee5944 Amen 👍🏼
This woman is solid. 👌
Don't tell them anything. Don't engage them. Just leave and go NO contact. Believe me. You'll thank me later.
💯
I belive you. Thank You.
Working well for me so far
Except if you're married with children and a divorce will lead to a total destruction of your life.
@buatt only have contact about the kids. No contact in every other way.
I just broke up with her. Never heard any of this. ZERO admission of guilt. The furthest she’s ever gone, “We both have issues. We’re both to blame.” Everyone of your videos, especially #1 Tactics, fit her to a “T.” I appreciate the reminder that it wasn’t personal. I know that every ONE of her partners has dealt with this, as has her family. HOWEVER, I still bore the brunt of her abuse, ESPECIALLY when I confronted her with reality!!! The pain of the abuse I’ve suffered is very real and 100% personal. In the devaluing phase, she would attack my character, even the things about my personality she claimed in the idealization phase to cherish above all else, insulted my intelligence (I knew when she was lying or bending truth) and blame-shifted our problems. This breakup is already ALL MY FAULT. when all I did was try to love the FCN to the best of my ability, to choose humility over being “right,” and to encourage her to get help. That last one she only did as a manipulative ploy after the last time she self-destructed and kicked me out. I was discarded again like a piece of trash, joining many others who’d been caught in her web of deceit. Only then, in response to her fear that she’d lost her supply, did she seek out a therapist. She doesn’t really want help. She went for more weapons and ammunition. So I appreciate that I’m not to blame for her deep distrust of men nor her self-loathing, but I certainly leave here with very deep emotional scars. She made it my fault. She made it very personal when she dug her claws in. That’s a fact. I feel like I need counseling, now. 🤦🏻♂️
I found you at the last second of a three-year relationship w a female covert where I had no clue what I was dealing with and I could not figure out what was going on. As it got closer and closer to the end of us, I thought I wasn’t going to have any choice but to check out for good.
And then I found you.
I know genuine sociopaths.
I know malignant narcissists.
This was a whole new breed, and I was completely blind and just about out of my mind trying to make sense of it.
I’m out. I’ve got professional help, and every minute of every day is a challenge.
But if it wasn’t for you and what I found in your videos about 5 weeks ago,, I don’t know if I would be here right now.
Yep, 5 weeks. I know, Right?
You and your videos have made a huge difference to me and I just want you to know that.
Thank you
Thank you
Thank you
Im right there with you and I'm finally tryin' to divorce her and its as bad as you thought it'd be but I'm doin it or I wouldn't be around anymore and it wasn't my fault just get away with your life and be lucky its never too late
Most malignant narcissists are men , and are easy to spot.
Most covert narcissists are women, and are difficult to spot. They love bomb you, adopt your habits and hobbies, and actually admire you. Until they have you, then realize you must be imperfect, and begin to torture you subtly.
Listening to you almost felt like I got the closure and truth I never received. The twisted part is that I know this about her now, without her even saying. If only I figured her out earlier on… 🙏🏾
Exactly what I went thru. I even looked like the men in those clips. Really showed how desperate she made me feel. The kicker was she convinced me I was the root of the problem. She would blantanly gaslight and confabulation things she JUST said and deny it and rewrite what was said and fight me for concretely repeating back what she verbatim said, it was psychologically mind bending to the point of snap.
You have good candor in your videos.
Some professionals in this field are kind of, well...cluster B-ish.
So, it’s nice to see someone more genuine.
Thank you again, always informative and validating. One thing I would add - after 26 years of marriage - I have experienced her having a complete meltdown - after shifting her behaviors onto our 18yo daughter, she expressed feeling guilty. She went into sorrowful mode, expressing regret for some things done to me, and further stated she was going to be a better person. Within 12 hours she went into full narc rage in public at me. Probably regretting expressing a vulnerable emotion. I stood there and calmly said: "So this your idea of a better person." The mask may slip, not too far and not too long.
In the beginning "All my exs hate me think i ruined their lives.. they all say im a narcissist "... i laughed said thats crazy..💀
Again, so on point.
Yesterday (Sunday), The Demon tries to contact me from a new number. I don't answer as I'm in work. She SOMEHOW calls my friend. My friend messaged her about a year ago to tell her to leave me alone. She's kept my friend's number for over a year. My friend sent me the number which matched The Demon's.
Anyway, I eventually answer. Tell her how abusive she was. Ask her why she's calling me, why she called my friend. And that she knows I work Sundays anyway. She said the following three things:-
1. "I haven't called you."
2. "I didn't call your friend."
3. "It's not Sunday."
But still it doesn't cease to surprise me how maddening she is. I have evidence. And...it is Sunday!
I told her the only reason I wasn't going to the police was because of her children and I didn't want them upset.
I have never met anyone that's this bad before.
Haha damn
Youre a godsend to abused men out there. Thank you Lise
Your video exactly describes the woman (who had been an MFT) in my 9 year relationship that dissolved earlier this year. I will never hear these things that occured exactly as you describe. Your channel has helped a great deal the past 6 months.
Thank you for sharing your experience and thank you for the positive feedback! I appreciate your support and contribution
Mine is an MFT as well....what is with that?
MFT?
@@BK-vq3ie Marriage and Family Therapist
Great video. Crystal clear message when communicated this way
I was married to a covert narcissist for 32 years. I guarantee that she would NEVER admit to these things. When completely caught out in something I've seen her shut down (glassy eyes, blank stare, expressionless face) rather than actually admit fault.
Facts
Thank you for this. I've experienced this in my marriage. I'm now widowed and have had to find answers I can live with on my own. In a way, death has made recovery from this a little easier. There's no more gray areas or what ifs. It is just what it is now and I have to live with it, and that feels okay for me (after a year of living hell, and probably many more difficult years to come)
I hope people that go through toxic relationships and abuse, especially in marriage, can find ways to survive and thrive past it and see that it's not a reflection of themselves, just broken people being broken towards others.
🎯WoW! Spot On, Leblanc!🎯
This is the most profound and eerily accurate assessment & description of the incurable voids that exist in a relationship with someone like this. Incredible 🙏🏾
My ex would never be able to say these things. This would make her question her life view which was the thing she was most confident about. I just had to leave, feel free, and be confused. Some things can never be answered. I have to be happy with supposition. Nice work. Thanks for creating this channel.
😱 If I were to ever hear anything remotely resembling this, I’d die from the shock of it all. 🤣🤪
The closure speech needed from narcs that one needs and would never get who going through the worst heartbreak. Here in this video in black and white. This really relieved me of my trauma a little bit.
Thank you. For thirty years I have been trying to figure out what was going on with my wife. You have enlightened me so much. Anyone seeing this early in your relationship. Run away as fast as you can.
This is so incredibly spot on
Gracias, Lisa, for your videos. I went through a nightmare with a female narcissist and your videos were extremely helpful. My contribution is done. Regards from Spain.
Lise... You are AMAZING! Keep it up ❤
Another great video... I can relate to all of it.. Learning to trust myself rather than them has been my challenge..
Thank you! I wish you all the best
@@LiseLeblanc My pleasure.. Keep up the good work..
This is the most relevant video that I’ve ever seen, as a male narcissistic abuse survivor. Thank you so much
I sent your covert narcissistic video to a sweat girl. I know its harder for girls. I really wish her the best. She tried to be supportive but had some obvious red flags.
My ex came back a year after we separated claiming she'd needed space to get her head together. She also tried to give some explanation about her behaviour, without going into detail or admitting to lying, she admitted she could be selfish but blamed it all on being a recovering alcoholic. She said all alcoholics are selfish and difficult to be with. I didn't believe what she said. Anyway more lies followed and she was off again.
I have had very few women admit they lied. Why? I have no idea. Because I think men handle it well when she can admit to what she has done.
Did you help her to get her passport? If not, why not ?
Short personal story of mine. My ex and I worked at the same place at one point, this was later on in the relationship and we were already living together. One day I came home from work and found a conversation between my ex and her friend where she confessed to doing something behind my back and saying she feels guilty. I kept them evidence and let it slide cause I was an idiot and in denial. Few weeks later I came home from work again and some guy was inviting her out to dinner, the same guy she mentioned to her friend. I lost my shit and we got into a huge fight over it, I left our apartment to go stay with a friend cause my world was falling apart. She was supposed to go to work that day and just quit her job, blamed it on me that I acted in a childish manner and that I turned out to be an unreliable PoS. We reconciled next day and I actually got her her job back, took responsibility for the incident and spoke to management to get her rehired... What did she do? She denied the offer and said she doesn't wanna go back because it's embarrassing kindergarden lvl type stuff. These covert narcs are morons and deserve the misery they live in. They self sabotage every single second of positivity in their life just to be a victim of something to complete strangers. They also have mentally challenged maladaptives as their enablers that believe every word and provide the narc with support in this twisted fantasy world. They're clowns, but not the fun kind, they're Pennywise from "It". People should re-watch the movie after narcissistic abuse, you'll really draw some parallels to the lessons you have to learn in facing your traumas, otherwise the narc will keep coming back until you are dead.
The hardest part, that pains me to this day, is knowing you weren’t loved.
You were there for convenience.
I loved her so much, after years it still pains me to think it was all in my head.
You have been my teacher for years I will share my experience if you would like but regardless I wanted to thank you because I was lost until I actually found out what narcissism is and you taught me how to recognize and heal God bless Ms Leblanc ✝️😌
Thank you Lisa. You are my favorite amongst all the people who tackle the topic of narcissists on youtube. You explain it best, with the right wording that makes it so easy to understand. And you are also a lovely presence❤
What a lovely thing to say to our host. I’m sure she understands you more than you realise. Oh hang on a minute. Maybe you should spell her name correctly if you respect her as much as you suggest ! 😂 talk about the gullibility of a narcissist. ! Here’s a perfect example of their arrogance. Stupidity in my view but I guess I can’t say that. Oops. 😂🖖
@@Nyumc99 i cant believe i misspelled her name. english is not my first language. my intentions were pure i can assure you of that.
Really enjoyed this! Something truly restorative about this.
Thank you!
This video melted me heart and put my recover into gear. I will never hear these words from her. Thank you so much for making this video Lise
Excellent! Excellent! Excellent!
I’m almost in tears listening to this. I didn’t think anyone cared enough to even recognize this happens to guys. I had no idea there was someone that could help with this specifically, as it’s embarrassing and extremely saddening to realize this is what years of your life.
omg me too. worst still, she was 20yrs younger than me. I feel completely humiliated. I hope you are healing. I am 2 weeks into the breakup and utterly heartbroken 💔
Thankyou really needed the reminder I've been going through it for 8 years and I keep going back but I'm stronger now so thanks again 😊🙏
Extremely accurate. Thank you for producing this content to raise awareness and help with healing ❤
I have a child with someone I believe to have narcissistic attributes. I have to learn so much to protect and guide my son
Thank you Lise, the truth sets you free, and I learn so much from your teaching. It’s very hard to articulate how grateful I am for the insight and understanding I gain from the beautiful and elegant truths that are contained in your lessons.
OMG 😢 I SO NEEDED THIS. THANK YOU
Great video again. It was nice to hear you play them admitting. Creative and gave relief.
Unreal how out of reality these people are !! Just hurting and being over and over again !!!
I'm going to keep watching this very helpful video. Every word makes sense. Thank you.
The more I watch your videos the more I realize how deeply I was entrained into the toxicity of my ex-wife.
Thank you for being an integral party of my healing.
Excellent well explained and will help many people. Thank you!
It’s nice to hear this words regardless where they come from. Thank you.
This is brilliant. I know the playbook but hearing it parsed this way is so clarifying.
OMG… after a difficult evening with my probably covert narcissist wife yesterday, I must admit you’re spot on… difficult situation to admit for me as we are also business partners… I think the boat will rock in the next months/years for me to get out of this 😢😢😢
Good luck. Stay the course!
All very true, and its somewhat uncanny to hear someone verbalize these points. Almost feels like a flash back to hear that. It again, highlights the importance of identifying these people as early as possible, so you don't have to go thru all of this.
im just now at the stage of acceptance, actually that was 4 weeks ago. I am truly free now ! 1.5years since breakup 10 years. Radical acceptance is the cure, dont wait for any closure ! WIll never happen. Realize u are addicted. No contact ! Get a hobby, i went to gym 2 hrs DAILY - this was my help. Good luck to you all ! you need it, because damn !
Hi. A very interesting video - thanks for making it. Post divorce I have been dating and I think about 75% of the women that I’ve met have described their ex as narcissistic. I am very reluctant to describe someone as narcissistic in the true sense of the word - just because they are annoying! How could I identify whether my ex was a true narcissist? She has been completely unreasonable (IMHO) in the break up and since - but it seems way too easy to just say that she is a narcissist. Having said that - I recognise in her many of the characteristics that you illustrate in your video. The worst of it is that I still see the good in her - despite her having done and said some very hurtful things - and would like to start all over again with her! This drives my daughters and friends nuts - but there doesn’t seem to be anything that she can do to actually cross my line of acceptability and make me lose interest in her. Probably a classic situation?
trauma bonded /stockholm syndrome
What none of these "experts" reveal, is that everything is spiritual, relationships like this are are fated, these people are our teachers, we are usually just like them in opposite but similar ways and it's all in our astrology. The synastry chart, and each person's birthday. Once you see it, it can't be unseen. Also, nobody talks about the Christian method of forgiveness and just accepting people AS IS.Because most of us are control freaks as well and want it the way we want it, but NOBODY admits to that. Relationships are SO much more nuanced than cookie cutter traits. You NEVER hear "narc experts" discuss their OWN narcissism, which, IMHO everybody has, because it's the Human Condiition. we don't know about it in others because it usually appears only in relationships, where people act out in private. I don't think this fad movement is doing anyone any real good, it just self-validates people's own self righteous beliefs and glosses over all of the "victims" faults, that we ALL have. I have yet to know a perfect person, without annoying behaviours, outright insufferable traits, but I also know that I can't hate people I actually love in order to satisfy the mob. The Mob hates everybody. The Mob gets rich parroting a narrative. Everybody wants in on the action.
Thanks Lise
Thank you Ms Leblanc! You really hit the nail on the head here. This and all the others are proving to be very helpful on my healing journey. Awesome work, recommend.
Keep it up, glad i found you
Oh so true. Recognizing how their words and actions affect someone else is beyond them. Not to mention taking any accountability, self-reflecting and apologizing, even if you maturely express your feelings with the "I statements".
Great video Lisa thank you
for sharing I dealt with this more times than
I care to admit.🎯😋
You keep nailing it perfectly. When her behaviour was exposed my NPD ex suggested “ relationship counselling.” I was stupid enough to agree. She had seen so many therapists she had learned how to run rings around them. However, the therapist, a very bright woman, had her number from the start. After two sessions the ex decided it wasn’t working and we stopped.
I got divorced in March and this so validates what I went through thank you so much!
#3. Man. Rough but absolute truth. This hit hard today. 😢
Thank you so much for posting this.
Thank you for your comment
Thank you Lisa ... !!!! You are amazing ... !!!!
I remember with my narcissistic ex how there was ALWAYS something wrong and it was ALWAYS my fault even though she ALWAYS created the problem.
Been mercifully free of her for 2 years now living with a terrible roommate (loud, dirty, gross, selfish). STILL a better friendship.
Thank you so much Lisa ❤️ you have helped me so much over the course of my last relationship and it helped me to let him go and only make healthy connections in the future since it's not who I am to be in a toxic relationship with anything.❤
Hello Mike, thank you for your positive feedback!
I'm SORRY. Didnt even have to watch this vid.....lived this
3 narcissistic women in my life. It began with my mother. Noone has ever admitted to their lies and gaslighting. Ever. It. Just. Gets. Worse.
Thank you for this. I was accused of flirting, looking at, talking to other females on a daily basis for twelve years. I literally went crazy.
Thank you. 35 years here. NOW she says I have "exactly 11 months" to "get out". After all these years I've done my best to be the plumber, electrician, mechanic, carpenter, LOVER (can't even get close anymore) etc etc... I'm the guy that actually MOWS the lawn/weed-whacks the yard... takes the trash... yet still... never good enough... yeah... it SUCKS... and yeah... I'm the one that COOKS/CLEANS!!!!
I caught my ex with bpd/npd red handed. I had pictures etc. And SHE stilled lied right to my face. Its so pathetic the extremes they go to. Its so ridiculous they will make u second guess urself all the time
...i know we are 'pretending' but DAMN!! this felt good to hear (for once!!)
This explains what i went through for 18 years before her divorcing me.
The best part is when you expose them. And they crumble and leave because it is game over. Sure, they will hate you even more, and spread lies. But it is so satisfying to know that you popped their balloon. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 Leave their evil selves behind and never look back. Eventually, you forget almost everything.
These are exactly the things I waited (and worked) 20 years in vain to hear. Hearing them here, and seeing how impossible it would ever have been for her to say them, has set me free from that fantasy that kept me trapped in hope.
This is so good to know as the truth.
Emotional Con Artist #Boundaries and #Standards you can only give what you have …
Disgard after 3 years of a very on/off relationship , we had a blazing row..I left she used it as an excuse too finally disgard me and make me feel guilty for irlt...Then I went round there for two weeks saying sorry ,cards, letters etc..She was really cold due to mask slipping...She did once say she shouldn't be in a realtionship eith anyone and is toxic and hurt people hurt people..At least i stopped blaming myself now...But I feel stupid I was gaslighted so much.
Thanks God for the Lise's work. How could we understand what went on all these past years in this type of relationship?
She would never say, "I realize I have been passive-aggressive in my attacks. The guilt trips, and the playing "guess whats in my head games" were destructive. Im sorry. I will be clear, and do my best to be an open, honest, and transparent person."
You have zero chance of convincing anyone in this community. Sorry son. You fecked up . That was your choice . Off you go now. 👍
They'd rather die than sincerely apologize
@josmclove4426 I still am amazed how strong-willed they are. How does one just start criticizing and demeaning another, out of the blue? They know we want to please them, and all they need to do is ask. Instead, they choose a destructive path, doing what I say is."criticizing to success." Obviously, it doesn't work and makes them more angry. Is there just that much toxicity built up inside them that they have to dump on another person; one that has chosen to love them? So crazy, sad, destructive.
@doranvee5944 I asked my girlfriend this morning and she just ignored me.
I wanna know whether they deliberately sabotage a good relationship or if they genuinely can't help themselves.
They are seriously confounding.I don't understand why they're so against all that's fair and good.🤦🏽♂️
@josmclove4426 I think in many ways they don't know themselves. Maybe it's a combination of factors? Some of it could be from childhood, hereditary?, the prevailing attitudes in society, their own frustrations, selfishness, pride, and lack of self awareness, objectivity, self-relection, insecurities, stress, etc. Combine all that and there is one screwed up person. Coverts cannot bring themselves to the idea that much of their behavior is because of themselves. It's far easier to engage in negativity, blame, projection, than to hold oneself accountable. Personally, my wife was terrible at being diplomatic, tactful, and compromising. She never knew anything other than blunt criticism. Most people understand to motivate a person, there must be a sandwich approach. I think men are so easy. Heck we will even tell them what will work for them to get what they want, because at the heart of it, men want to make their girl happy.
Though they know the invective they are spewing is destructive, the relief that comes from unloading on their partner seems to take priority. The conversations are poorly thought out because they lean heavily on their emotions in the moment. Society seems to say that men are suppose to understand and deal with the hot mess, never reacting after endless torturous rants. If we do, suddenly, we are even more the bad guy.
I was wrong and I sorry and aim to make changes into logic reasons accountability and rationality to prove it.
Never going to get that
Am I the only one who found themselves laughing as Lise took us into a world of fantasy?! Face it, it's never going to happen. The way she kept a straight face was brilliant.🤣
The truth will set you free
Man… wish I came across this channel a year ago. I’m out now, so I’m thankful I didn’t waste more time. But still, facing this reality hurts.
I didn't realize how much I needed to hear those words. How do I make an AI clone of her voice & then have that AI repeat all that?
My ex will never admit to anything if questioned, even if you show her a video of herself doing whatever it was she is denying, stands on it 😤 so childish
It wasn’t me. Shaggy
It wasn't my intention
@@halkonbabi I just recently learned a new one that's old as the hills: "why do you keep bringing up the past?" When I reminded my ex of one of her unacceptable actions in relation to why I think it's a bad idea to let her move back in 🤨 the first time bringing it up, thank you for the reply, regards
Great video
Thank you for the positive feedback!
Never leave one of these types alone in your house. They will search everything, go through every drawer and closet, take inventory of your most private things like diaries and journals, and later weaponize their findings. After admitting they violated your trust and privacy.
Nice work ❤namaste
Thank you!
Wow, I’m beginning to realize my experience with a FCN is not only unique and virtually unprecedented but also the more i learn and the more closely i observe my experience in retrospect, I’ve come to the conclusion that I have an INCREDIBLE story about my toxic relationship but even more incredible is the girl herself.
Almost a year post split I’m still confused and in pain and I still feel the shame and embarrassment. HOWEVER, because of my apparent unique unprecedented experience and knowing what I know now, I’m almost feeling a sense of accomplishment, it’s weird….
It’s like I unknowingly ran into a MASTER manipulator who btw, spared no detail in her pursuit to destroy me…
And yes she hurt me exponentially!
Yes! She broke my confidence, but only temporarily
And yes! She controlled the narrative… I admit as much.
But, I believe that i alone exclusively did something to her that she has both never had done to her and also that not even SHE (the master) was not quite able to achieve her ultimate goal with me….
I’m actually feeling a bit of pride in the fact, maybe this b word finally met her match; intellectually, and physically.
I won’t say she lost the overall battle…. But and even tho I got hurt big time, I think I can say that, from her pov, I played her to a draw….
I still feel the loss, but I think she believes she lost.
It’s so much more complex and detailed than I’m describing.
This girl has proven to be intellectually brilliant…
But so did i prove the same to her. I say this without a doubt because she actually admitted as much.
She got satisfaction by hiding all her lies inside of truths by carefully and tactfully composing her words. She accomplished this by incorporating deep subliminal messages into her text, and by cleverly obscuring double meanings beneath what appeared to be obvious and straight forward statements.
But I also write and think and articulate in a similar fashion so, therefore, I was usually not fooled and rather than accuse her of manipulating, I instead subliminally dished it right back at her. And this was not necessarily intentional but, towards the end, when I was becoming more n more confused and open to any possible explanation for her overnight-180-flip, I did so in a manner that, through her pov, must’ve forced her to at the very least question weather or not I was playing the same game… which of course I wasn’t, rather, I was simply protecting myself; and once she flipped into this other personality I really dished the double meanings and subliminals right back at her. My hopes were that I’d eventually break through her new walls (aka her guard) and in turn get some of the answers to my questions and get the clarity of “why” she suddenly turned from my person to someone who resented me on a level I didn’t think was even possible….
I’m the end, I have an ultimatum. Keep in mind, I had NO CLUE of the concept of FCN but, I was and am highly experienced with dealing with woman’s mental/psychological issues. And till Lise Leblanc enlightened me, I just thought “ufcking women are IMPOSSIBLE to understand but, ima do everything necessary to figure them out”
Maybe, since I don’t possess the same fears as her typical victims did, thst I was there for able to resist succumbing; I refused to turn into all her other victims. Who all got dumped and went on to become unhinged.
Basically, I know/knew that I will have no problems attracting more sexy beautiful girls like she was and that dynamic must’ve INFURIATED her at first but also lead her to doing and saying multiple things Lise told us would NEVER happen.
My story is absolutely insane and I promise i have not even begun to break the surface of how exceptional my experience with a FCN has been.
Also, after she did /said these things they don’t ever say or do, I disassociated with her COMPLETELY. Blocked her on everything and I have not wavered on iota.
This is a story that must be told and heard. Plus, I’m a creative writer, i could really pen the experience beautifully and make it super entertaining, I believe…
Hmmm 🤔
What or where am I supposed to do this tho 🤔
🤷♂️